this post was submitted on
2,738 points (52% like it)
25,299 up votes 22,561 down votes

funny

subscribe2,445,828 readers

10,780 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

Added because /r/funny is viewed by users who may be underage, at work etc. Users Submitting Dick Pics etc and Racist submissions or comments and Inappropriate content will be BANNEDInstantly, No If's and or but's. - Those submissions belong in /r/nsfwfunny or elsewhere on reddit - Not here.

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Dave_Hulud 1023 points1024 points ago

I like the dude that is like "aren't you gonna help?" And then he looks and goes, "well I tried. See ya."

[–]idio3 652 points653 points ago

To be fair, he did stay put until he saw the other driver start climbing out. Seems like he probably went in to grab the phone to call EMS, and just didn't want to be stuck dealing with cops/insurance. Or had an outstanding warrant. Or something else. Regardless, this gif certainly skips at least half a minute there.

[–]link287 185 points186 points ago

Will they check your record if you stay to help?

[–]cannibalsativa 142 points143 points ago

Yes. A buddy and I saw a dog get hit by a car. We pulled over, took it off the road and called 911 to let them know it was still alive and needed help. Cops came and eventually arrested my friend for unpaid speeding tickets.

[–]N69sZelda 28 points29 points ago

... shaking my head :( but i know that feeling.

[–]takeitanrun 12 points13 points ago

Yes, I stopped when I witnessed a drunk-driving accident (pretty bad one with cars totaled). However, they took all my info, ran me and my plates, and even did a quick look in my car (just gazing in through the windows only) before letting me go.

I'll still do my civic duty - but don't be anywhere NEAR a place where police will be if you've got anything you don't want them to check.

[–]Xoebe 55 points56 points ago

The discretion that cops have to let people off for things like this is fast disappearing. Cops are sick and tired of doing the "decent thing" only to get their assholes reamed for letting some guy go who went on to drive over a pack of totally adorable puppies.

This has actually been made official policy in a number of jurisdictions. For example, some municipalities will always arrest at least one person in a domestic violence call - unless it can clearly be shown that call was a false alarm. The days are gone when cops would separate a feuding husband and wife and let them cool off before leaving. Too many women were winding up dead in those cases.

So it's not just cops covering their asses, there are real ramifications when they exercise discretion. The problem is that the whole issue is biased against the police; you'll never hear about the times that the cops let someone off with a warning, or turned a blind eye, and they went on to do nothing wrong.

So if you have an issue with your car insurance, or registration, or you are in violation of probation, or you have warrants, keep on moving. Somebody else will be along soon to save those drowning kids.

[–]Gooberpatrol66 9 points10 points ago

Why not save the kids and leave before the cops arrive?

[–]PFCDoofles 2 points3 points ago

My web shooters are in the shop.

[–]couchdive 6 points7 points ago

topping that, had a lady roomate get purse snatched by gunpoint and the officer sent to take the report almost arrested her for a 6 year old light rail ticket.

[–]I_slap_racist_faces 4 points5 points ago

which is bullshit....debtor's prison is alive and well.

it's one thing to suspend a license over money, which they do, but wasting taxpayer dollars to use police as a debt collection agency accomplishes nothing. more "land of the free" bullshit.

[–]butterbeany 37 points38 points ago

I dunno if they do or not, but when I was in high school, I t-boned a guy when I was going 50 miles an hour (his fault-he pulled out in front of me and I had NO time to swerve). Immediately afterward I was sitting in my car stunned and not moving, and suddenly realized my car was smoking. I freaked out but couldn't open my door because the car body had creased over the door a little. This dude from another car came over and wrenched it open and yanked me out so fast. I started crying and he gave me a quick hug and said "you'll be alright". Then ran back to his car and drove away. I guess he didn't want to be involved with the cops but I was so thankful for him.

[–]geleybou 5 points6 points ago

It was his fault, he ran away and you were thankful? Sounds like you might be a little too kind. Who paid to fix the car?

EDIT: I CANNOT READ

[–]dannydrak 35 points36 points ago

This dude from another car

[–]geleybou 20 points21 points ago

Thank you for pointing that out. I cannot read

[–]dannydrak 17 points18 points ago

Happens to the best of us.

[–]endlesslycomplicated 1 point2 points ago

another car

likely wasn't the dude he hit

[–]butterbeany 2 points3 points ago

Haha, it's okay. The guy who I hit ended up being a guy who went to my high school so he wasn't getting away with anything.

[–]TheJBW 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for both owning up to your mistake and leaving it for the world to see.

[–]ionolol 2 points3 points ago

He said it was a dude from another car that wasn't involved in the accident.

[–]KrispyourKream 11 points12 points ago

HE CANNOT READ

[–]martyf 74 points75 points ago

In general, you take down the information of witnesses in case there's a court case later. I don't think you MUST give your information, but I'm not a cop, so who knows.

[–]SirDerpingtonThe3rd 22 points23 points ago

I'm sure if you refuse to give info, they'll be suspicious and check you out anyway (license plate, etc.).

[–]idio3 70 points71 points ago

If you drive a car - you must give a police officer your licence upon request. Implied consent (or whatever it's called).

[–]RatherDashing 8 points9 points ago

As always, the answer is: it matters

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stop_and_identify_statutes

The objective may simply be a friendly conversation; however, the police also may suspect involvement in a crime, but lack “specific and articulable facts” that would justify a detention or arrest, and hope to obtain these facts from the questioning. The person approached is not required to identify himself or answer any other questions, and may leave at any time.

and

Police may briefly detain a person if they have reasonable suspicion that the person has committed, is committing, or is about to commit a crime.

So if they had an suspicion that he was criminally involved they could detain him and force him to provide ID. If they didn't suspect it and they had the whit enough to ask to leave, the cop must let them leave. So it really matters what they think their involvement was/is.

[edit]

grammar

[–]wocco 99 points100 points ago

He probably wasn't thinking straight after seeing that event take place.

[–]Yoyo8 277 points278 points ago

"Aw shit. Being here with a dead hooker in my trunk is not a good idea. Might as well get a taco."

[–]kevinproche 40 points41 points ago

In Canada we say might as well go for a soda. Edit: for those calling my Canadianship into question and good on you who got the reference.

[–]masters1125 134 points135 points ago

Canadians have a saying for what to do when you have a dead hooker in your trunk?

[–]CitrusAbyss 78 points79 points ago

It's more of an unspoken rule.

[–]Cpt_Kirks_Waffles 30 points31 points ago

"no Cyril, when they're dead they're called hookers"

[–]lord_james 2 points3 points ago

My favorite episode, right there.

[–]roberto1 1 point2 points ago

Roberto Pickton

[–]Harbltron 20 points21 points ago

Nice try Kim Mitchell

[–]Situationalatbest 17 points18 points ago

I'm really disappointed at all the Canadians who replied that don't recognize a Kim Mitchell reference.

[–]SalMinella 2 points3 points ago

I'm an American (border state) and I still got it.

[–]kittyroux 39 points40 points ago

Why would we say that? We don't say soda! Are you even Canadian? Are you posing as Canadian?!

[–]Qbopper 27 points28 points ago

Pretty damn sure we say pop.

[–]Muame 12 points13 points ago

That's the only thing I don't like about Canadians.

[–]Jrodkin 9 points10 points ago

I'm sorry.

[–]thebigmoose 3 points4 points ago

we say pop too!!! its really sad when that makes me happy..

[–]JVM_ 2 points3 points ago

but what about the hooker? I thought nobody dies?

[–]verymanlymuppet 5 points6 points ago

Its called pop up here, hoser

[–]Tactful 59 points60 points ago

Yeah, you have no way of knowing what that guys mindset was. I've done more fucked up things in response to less fucked up situation before, you can't logically analyse every action. Maybe he was going through a divorce, and had that at the forefront of his mind. Maybe he was high as fuck.

[–]SaikoGekido 20 points21 points ago

Maybe it was both. And then that tiny truck overturning and nearly smashing his car gave him quite the idea...

[–]HanselSoHotRightNow 67 points68 points ago

truck crash

"HOLY ASS-CRIPPLING-SHIT! I COULD SAVE MONEY ON MY CAR INSURANCE BY SWITCHING TO GEICO!"

gets in car, peels out in reverse

[–]TheBeanInYourNose 12 points13 points ago

Hell, he's late for work one more time and no more job. Then the wife leaves him and the house is repossessed, he catches TB in the homeless shelter, and in a year he's dead.

He had to leave. It was a life-or-death situation.

[–]hawksterdh 1 point2 points ago

Exactly. People react to things In their own mind. We don't know what kind of day he was having. We don't know what he was thinking. Other than "I need to make like a tree and get the fuck out of here"

[–]movie_man 1 point2 points ago

What's your most fucked up response to your least fucked up situation you've had before?

[–]naked_guy_says 37 points38 points ago

HE TURNED GAY!?

[–]sailingonward 21 points22 points ago

That's how most cases of gay happen.

[–]Erynsen 4 points5 points ago

really? I was told it was satan and anal sex. I'll ask my priest.

[–]ThePoose 3 points4 points ago

This is an old GIF so probably not the case BUT there are new plate scanners out there that can scan every plate in a certain vicinity. They were testing it in MA a few years ago. Got nabbed by one for driving w/o a license there a while back. There was an article on a here a few years ago about the scanners but I can't seem to find it now.

[–]link287 9 points10 points ago

Yeah they scanned my plate with one of those down here in tx. I was arrested :( Warrent I didn't know I had.

[–]ThePoose 4 points5 points ago

I was in my hometown and knew one of the officers on duty from high school so I got a summons, tow, and a ride home. Sucked but damn, at least I wasn't arrested. Feels

[–]nisroch 15 points16 points ago

good man

[–]h34dyr0kz 4 points5 points ago

i gotta ask because this has always been something that perplexes me. how does one go about not knowing they have a warrent for their arrest?

[–]link287 18 points19 points ago

Forgetting about the 200 dollar ticket then moving and forgetting to tell the post office.

[–]Jonisrules 6 points7 points ago

Could be something as simple as having a parking ticket that he forgot about or was removed from his windshield. Then he missed the court date, maybe multiple times. This would immediately be a warrant out for his arrest, even though the initial cause was minor.

Happened to a buddy of mine who had his address set to School and while he was home for the summer didn't get any notices of missed tickets/court dates/etc. ended up having a pretty packed mailbox and a warrant out for his arrest.

[–]sdpr 4 points5 points ago

The situation would kind of be funny though. Knowing that a cop has to take you in for processing for an unpaid $20 parking ticket.

[–]kabloink 2 points3 points ago

Typically, the people not knowing about court summons. You can even have warrants for not appearing in civil lawsuits for which you never received the summons due to being sewer served.

[–]sdpr 4 points5 points ago

About two years ago I brainstormed this idea and had wondered why I had never heard of them existing yet. Why can't they make plates with scanability and have information about the car stored in the chip (license plate info, registration info, VIN, make, model, year, etc).

Guess I'm late to the patent table.

[–]Xaronic 3 points4 points ago

It has been known for people to get caught before, especially if your Police have ANPR systems....

[–]Kage2021 1 point2 points ago

Who knows. They do anything they want. It's a luck of the draw type situation that's not worth the risk.

[–]nipplenommer 25 points26 points ago

Maybe he just moved his car so he wasn't blocking access to the accident. Gas stations DO have other places to park and his car was not part of the accident, he was just a witness.

All we have is a gif, not the footage guys. This could have been edited a ton of ways.

[–]El_Jimmer 15 points16 points ago

Had a boss that did something similar to this. I worked for a moving company that was about as reputable as a back alley massage parlor. I got paid in cash daily so I didn't really care, but I'm positive there was ties to the Russian mob. Anywho as we started up the stairs to start a job, the other worker went down on the job from heat stroke and his whole body was cramping up. I ran and helped him out doing first aid for heat injuries, then ran to the truck and told the boss. He flipped out and said, and I quote, "I gotta get out of here, they're gonna be asking questions". He offered to take me back to my car (rode in the truck to the job) but he was keaving. I couldn't leave my buddy behind so i said fuck that snd stayed to help will. And he dipped out and I ran by the truck yelling at him to pay us, but he said nothing and just left. I went back to my coworker and stayed with him til help arrived. The paramedics showed up and then left, on the scene for like 2 minutes, so he would have been fine just waiting for me. I rode in the back of the truck so I had no idea where I was after the paramedics left. I wandered around this strange apartment complex til I found a phone I could borrow, as mine was dead, and called some friends to pick me up. I was about an hour from home on the complete opposite side of town it turned out. I worked the next day to get my money from the day earlier, ended up working from 10 am-5 am (19 hours), and when I got home texted the boss telling him I quit and if he ever tried to contact me I'd inform the IRS, BBB, etc of his shady operation, never tried contacting me again.

TL;DR: Don't look for work in Craigslist

[–]masters1125 1 point2 points ago

That trunk is full of bodies.

[–]brosenfeld 12 points13 points ago

I like when he flaps his arms.

[–]olivermihoff 33 points34 points ago

In all fairness, the way the guy got out of the truck that quickly, it doesn't seem like it's his first time rolling one. ಠ_ಠ

[–]ProximaC 48 points49 points ago

So your first time rolling a vehicle you're supposed to relax for a while afterwards? Maybe have a smoke before you climb out?

[–]zersch 24 points25 points ago

I always enjoy a nice post-roll wank before clambering to safety.

[–]niperwiper 14 points15 points ago

You didn't notice the obvious frame jump in between the end of the crash and the man getting out?

Clearly it skipped a while, possibly the man did do something to help in that time.

[–]hinduguru 2 points3 points ago

Seems as though he tried pretty hard to help.

[–]sabotourAssociate 2 points3 points ago

No he was like, arn't you gonna pay the gas. Nope.

[–]Pantalooney 612 points613 points ago

Im i the only one who used GTA logic and was expecting the truck to catch on fire and explode?

[–]Weynard_Muldrake 408 points409 points ago

I figured that was the reason the guy moved his car...

[–]vertigo1083 32 points33 points ago

I thought he was hungry.

[–]aceeeric 17 points18 points ago

Using my GTA logic he already had a star (or a warrant) and wanted to jet before the cops came

[–]WillBlaze 3 points4 points ago

I don't know why more people don't think this, what would him staying there do for the driver?

Why is the guy questioning the guy pulling off when he could be helping?

[–]the_cowboy 130 points131 points ago

Next to a gas station too. Anyone who's played GTA knows if a vehicle is flipped on its side/roof next to a gas station, you get the fuck out of there.

[–]shillbert 47 points48 points ago

Or a hot dog stand, in GTA IV.

[–]ANAL_PLUNDERING 10 points11 points ago

Wait. What does it do? That situation has not come up for me in 2 years playing the game.

Thanks guys I got it.

[–]originalusername2 19 points20 points ago

They have small propane tanks on the side that explode.

[–]CargoCulture 1 point2 points ago

[–]yes_thats_right 13 points14 points ago

If it's a really really nice car, you could try jumping in and taking it to a spray paint place before it explodes.

[–]silenc3x 14 points15 points ago

Not if it's flipped bro.

[–]nexusofcrap 21 points22 points ago

Yeah, then you have to push the burned out wreck with another car into the paint shop.

[–]twentytwocents 16 points17 points ago

I have done this.

That banshee will be MINE, DAMNIT!

[–]GoldBeerCap 2 points3 points ago

Sometimes if you shake the wheels back and forth it will roll back over

[–]iamdanhi 25 points26 points ago

[–]TheJoel2012 2 points3 points ago

Think there's enough ads on that website?

[–]prod44 7 points8 points ago

get ad block

[–]TheJoel2012 34 points35 points ago

But if we don't look at the advertisements, it's like we're stealing the internet!

[–]tonyvila 16 points17 points ago

It's simple ... we steal the Internet.

[–]prod44 7 points8 points ago

I'm sure they will try to pass some law making ad blocks illegal

[–]CanIHazJob 9 points10 points ago

Yeah, too bad they won't be able to enforce it.

[–]TheGoomba 15 points16 points ago

How else are you supposed to remove an immobile vehicle from memory?

[–]xenoph2 6 points7 points ago

Um, simply removing it once it's out of view range could work too.

[–]romcabrera 6 points7 points ago

what if you go back to view range?

[–]mikeet9 19 points20 points ago

A tow truck moved it while you were away.

[–]Spank_The_Pooper 1 point2 points ago

Only if directed by Michael Bay

[–]BLVD 82 points83 points ago

Driver at the gas pump shit himself. That is why he left.

[–]imperialxcereal 38 points39 points ago

Right? I see it more like, "Fuck this, I'm not sticking around in case something blows up."

[–]Ben702 0 points1 point ago

but something did blow up....in his pants.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]cunningacire 33 points34 points ago

I had to read the last paragraph about ten times before I figured out what you were saying.

[–]Doggettx 149 points150 points ago

Not sure if he's just busy or just wants to avoid talking to cops

[–]thehollowman84 290 points291 points ago

Pretty sure he was like

"Hm, an accident in a gas station. I'm gonna back my car away from the pumps..."

[–]Dr_Twatson 117 points118 points ago

He had to go return some video tapes.

[–]stoicambience 40 points41 points ago

He had a reservation at Dorsia.

[–]Dubbys 11 points12 points ago

But he didn't give them a name...

[–]TheShittyBeatles 12 points13 points ago

I got warrants, dawg! I'm out!

[–]Infused_Sloth 0 points1 point ago

Maybe he needs to rush home to change his pants.

[–]imgettingbetternow 28 points29 points ago

Banana peel. Works every motherfuckin' time.

[–]emarkd 336 points337 points ago

What do you want from him? He didn't do it..

[–]hinduguru 238 points239 points ago

I'm shocked the guy didn't even flinch when the truck was coming towards him.

[–]greenyellowbird 75 points76 points ago

Some serious nerves of steel....I probably would have jumped up onto the roof of my car while wetting myself.

[–]TheGoomba 92 points93 points ago

What would being up there do to help?

[–]greenyellowbird 38 points39 points ago

That would probably be around how high I would jump from being startled.

[–]HanselSoHotRightNow 26 points27 points ago

Little did you know that an NBA talent scout was at the next pump over and then asks you to sign up to play for the Charlotte, Bobcats. You actually shit corporealized laughter out of your asshole as you drive away saying "nonononoNONOnonoNono" like Shia LaBeouf in every movie he's been in.

[–]darkops32 5 points6 points ago

You actually shit corporealized laughter out of your asshole

I like you.

[–]BenjaminSkanklin 14 points15 points ago

Being on high ground is always an advantage. Don't you watch war movies?

[–]plasmalaser1 9 points10 points ago

Or star wars?

[–]seansand 24 points25 points ago

This. If it were me, I'd do the exact same thing. The guy was okay; what the hell could I do to help? Lift the truck?

[–]killzy707 10 points11 points ago

What was he doing anyways? He didnt have the gas hose in his car, he was just.. standing there.

[–]emarkd 49 points50 points ago

I think he was just finishing up. It looks like he was tightening his gas cap when it happened.

[–]killzy707 10 points11 points ago

Ah yes, i think you're right.

[–]brosenfeld 6 points7 points ago

Professor Chaos all grown up.

[–]vertekal 65 points66 points ago

What overturned truck?

[–]this_sort_of_thing 36 points37 points ago

Jakucha overturn truck

[–]Phil_J_Fry 38 points39 points ago

No license plate number for Jakucha

[–]Andythefan 16 points17 points ago

For some reason remembering that meme made me realize I need to get out more

[–]flyingturdmonster 18 points19 points ago

Physics?

EDIT: Apparently my brain added a word. I am an idiot.

[–]MagnificentDeception 25 points26 points ago

Thank you for not putting "Badass level: balls of steel" or some other stupid title. Your title actually enriches the post.

[–]tries_new_things 4 points5 points ago

Graciousness level: Michael Cain

Upvote!

[–]Crodface 4 points5 points ago

Future titles for when this is eventually reposted:

"Fucks given level: zero."

"Drifting skill level: teenage girl."

"Average day at the gas station level: Russian."

Thank you for not subjecting me to that kind of disappointment, OP. You're good people.

[–]mikeypinhas 29 points30 points ago

Isn't that how you're supposed to park?

[–]ilikecrall 9 points10 points ago

Yeah, would've been so ninja if it wasn't in the middle of a fuel station.

[–]mikeypinhas 10 points11 points ago

Guess he wanted to fill the tank, but the hose didn't reach it, so he had to improvise

[–]mushmancat 91 points92 points ago

One day I was about to pull out of my driveway. My plan was to turn left, but a car came barreling around the corner from that direction, lost control and smashed into the guardrail/rock wall on the side of the road.

after seeing this, I nonchalantly put my turn signal to the right and went that way, pretending like I just didn't see it. I drove in the complete opposite direction for about 10 minutes before I turned around and headed back through to make sure someone else would have stopped to help by then.

I'm a bad person.

[–]truthhurts64 37 points38 points ago

You aren't a bad person, I did the same thing one night. Only difference is I didn't turn back around. The reason I refuse to help or stick around anymore is I did it once and was harassed by the insurance companies after it.

Constantly calling and acting all fucking pissy, wanting me to take time out of my day to come make a statement, leaving notes on my car at my house. I was like, motherfucker the only reason I stopped was to make sure everyone was ok. Thanks for teaching me a lesson about helping people in an accident.

[–]snailwithmonocle 7 points8 points ago

You shouldn't have given your data. Check if everybody is OK, don't give your name and GTFO.

[–]4danno 2 points3 points ago

Just give them a made-up statement that is unrealistic and unbelievable for shits and giggles. Then if they call back give them the same exact story and they will leave you alone eventually.

[–]versanick 2 points3 points ago

As a bad person, I can confirm this.

[–]JavaLSU 8 points9 points ago

I was on my way out one night and there's this area with a blind curve that I was aware of. One night I'm heading towards that blind curve and I hear two cars screeching and a crash.

Whelp, time to turn around. I got shit to do.

[–]Malplace 8 points9 points ago

Well, who will notice a gas theif now.

[–]Decyde 42 points43 points ago

I was driving home from work once and saw a car overturned. I asked the guy if he was ok and he said yea, i just made the turn to sharply. I called the local police and went about my way and i'm sure they were there within 3 minutes.

[–]dariussquared 198 points199 points ago

nope. he ded.

[–]Decyde 108 points109 points ago

Well I had shit to do, can't save them all.

[–]ilikecrall 25 points26 points ago

Gotta leave natural selection rolling.

[–]biggbuckz 24 points25 points ago

I once tried to turn into a parking lot going too fast on a very wet road, and slid into a big ditch. Only one wheel was touching the ground so I there was no way I was driving out. Luckily, some guy with a truck drove by and pulled me out and then said, "alright let's get out of here before someone calls the police!"

One of those great moments when the police would have just made things worse.

Ninja edit: No damage was done to anyone's property.

[–]Ftumsh 3 points4 points ago

I once went off the road in deep snow. No damage but my wheels were doing nothing. It was very cold and in the middle of nowhere and I was blocking the road, so I called the cops. Just two minutes later a guy with a tow truck drove by and asked if I wanted to be pulled out. I said hell yeah! He was just about to hitch my car up when I thanked him and told him he'd saved me a huge amount of hassle, because the police would take forever to turn up.

"You didn't tell me you called the cops!" he said, then threw the tow hitch back into the truck and disappeared into the night.

Calling the cops definitely made things worse. I was there in the snow for three hours and ended up paying more than $300 for their "official" tow truck.

[–]TrippyVersion 6 points7 points ago

Yup, that's a god way of handling this situation. I rolled my car over last year and I realized that even though I wasn't in shock, like some of the other occupants of my car, I still wasn't in the best state-of-mind to make 100% sure that everyone else was alright and that we were all out of danger completely. And ever since then I have witnessed two big car crashes right in front of me and keeping my own accident in mind, both times I pulled over, helped move the non injured ones to a safe spot, offered to call 911 (one time they refused to send help because I was not involved in the accident), offered to use my AAA card to call for a tow-truck and at least give them a couple bottles of water as they will be standing there for some time.

I feel if you just check up on the person involved and tell them the next steps, it really helps them feel safer and make better decisions right after an accident.

[–]kaczmarek 23 points24 points ago

The way that guy waves his hands in helplessness reminds me of Joker in the hospital explosion scene.

[–]Hubba_Bubba 15 points16 points ago

Seriously -- nobody stops anymore. I've been hit twice this year, the first one I had to chase them for 6 blocks until they made a wrong turn, got stuck and then I called the police. The cop said "Where was the accident? Why are you all the way over here?" No ticket given. Then I get rear ended at a stoplight by an SUV. Car cosmetically damaged, but OK. I try to be nice and not call the cops -we exchange information and go on our way. Found out the nice lady gave me false info (I only tracked her down because I copied her plate #) and then denied the accident happened to the insurance company. ALWAYS call the police.

[–]Hfore 12 points13 points ago

No one stopped the time I was driving down the highway when myself and a lady in another vehicle were side swiped by some outta control guy in a large silver SUV who ran away from the scene of the accident. We ended up in a construction zone so I couldn't chase him or get his license plate number. I should have but didn't call the police at the time because I figured the other person that was hit could corroborate the story. NOPE. The lady in the other car wrote MY license plate down and tried to get MY insurance to pay for her damages knowing we were both hit by the other driver. Luckily the insurance adjuster saw that the damage on both of our vehicles was on the left side and were covered in silver paint from the SUV. They told her tough shit and get her own insurance to pay for it.

[–]IamAsexKitten 2 points3 points ago

What a hoe :O

[–]birdbrainlabs 2 points3 points ago

I help.

[–]boomdralala 6 points7 points ago

[–]thumbs27 33 points34 points ago

i would do the same thing, I have seen too many movies to know that the truck will blow up immanently and i dont wanna be next to fuel pump when that happens.

[–]bodycounters 8 points9 points ago

It makes me so sad when people misspell big words instead of just using a shorter, easier-to-spell word. Nice try though.

[–]Alatorr 4 points5 points ago

I gave him an upvote for effort.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

It makes me sad when people use incomplete sentences while sighmalltaneeeeusly chastising people for misspelling one single letter of a word. Congratulations. You're cool.

EDIT: I mean 'your'.

[–]Mona_Lisa_Smile 21 points22 points ago

He might have been in shock. In some cases when you go into shock your brain wants to go back to the last thing you were doing. He was just getting gas and then all the sudden a guy flips his truck that didn't seem very far away from his car. Out of shock his mind might of told him to continue with what ever task he was doing.

[–]nipplenommer 90 points91 points ago

Finish getting gas, go to bank....

Truck flips in front of his car.

...GO TO BANK.

[–]cutofmyjib 54 points55 points ago

Attendant: "Aren't you going to help that guy?"

Guy:"GO TO BANK!"

[–]not_a_novel_account 29 points30 points ago

Bank Teller: "How may I help you sir?"

Guy: "GO TO BANK!"

[–]inivux 10 points11 points ago

Wife: How was your day today honey?

Kids: Hiiiii daddy!

Guy: "GO TO BANK!"

[–]jgosche 8 points9 points ago

Wife: "Hey honey, want to hire a babysitter and have a nice night out?"

Guy: "GO TO BANK!"

[–]Mahatma_Ghandicap 8 points9 points ago

I would've reacted the same. In fact I can remember at least 4 different times in my life when some douche was driving like a ass-hat and got what they deserved right in front of me. I just smiled and went on my way.

This isn't particularly shocking. It's not like a school bus full of kids burst into flames right in front of him. Just a top heavy dinky-shit truck that tumbled onto it's side.

[–]attagrrrl 5 points6 points ago

Very true. My dad was once driving in the middle of a snow storm when he lost control and the car flipped over several times before coming to a rest right-side-up. He had been eating an apple before the accident, and when the apple landed right beside him, he picked it up and continued eating it like nothing had happened. It was several minutes before he even really processed what had happened and finally got out of the car to find help.

[–]StewieBanana 11 points12 points ago

[–]HookDragger 6 points7 points ago

Russia?

[–]LovelyComrade 4 points5 points ago

bingo.

[–]TheMediumPanda 5 points6 points ago

The fucking retard in the van only has himself to blame it seems. No other party was involved, hell, if everyone was OK I'd definitely consider just taking off as well instead of having to spend time waiting for the police, being interviewed and maybe testifying (Yes Your Honour. Moron of the Year is that guy sitting over there. Can I go now?)

[–]joshmo23 6 points7 points ago

The title MAKES this

[–]SlipperyFloor 6 points7 points ago

I was on a snowboarding vacation with my father a few years ago. It was our last day on vacation and we were pumped to go snowboarding. While we were driving to the ski resort, two cars collided 30 feet in front of us (low speed). Instead of pulling over to help, my father yelled "FUCK THIS, WE'RE GOING SNOWBOARDING" and drove between the two cars.

[–]CosmicCabbage 1 point2 points ago

I like how the third car to the scene also does not stop.

[–]MrPaladin1176 2 points3 points ago

Zero fucks were given.

[–]Kage2021 23 points24 points ago

What did he do wrong?

  1. Driver is okay. No medical attention needed.

  2. Police are undoubtedly on the way. Get the fuck out of there. You never know what type you'll be dealing with.

In all honesty, if I am anywhere I know the police are going to be, I do my best to keep my head down and move as far away as possible, as quickly as possible without drawing attention. The police are, generally, above the law. While most behave, plenty don't. It's simple self preservation to flee any location the police are going to arrive in the United States.

[–]inivux 6 points7 points ago

Ah, "freedom".

[–]Jinx_player 2 points3 points ago

Yup, +1 for keep your nose clean, yo!

[–]bubbs5 5 points6 points ago

Classy as fuck drift

[–]Ridesabike 1 point2 points ago

Like a glove.

[–]S4NDW1CHHH 3 points4 points ago

Is it wrong that I made a lot of tire screeching sound effects and a giant boom sound effect while seeing this?

Come on. Someone besides me HAS to have done this.

[–]Temptress75519 1 point2 points ago

"fuck this! The black guy gets blamed for EVERYTHING! I'm out!"

[–]sokalled 2 points3 points ago

Suspended license? I feel ya bro

[–]freakygeeky 4 points5 points ago

I would probably do the exact same thing.

[–]CuntyMcshitballs 5 points6 points ago

No one in this thread has aknowledged the fact the van was driving like a complete asshole for no reason, fuck him, why is he endagering everyones lives.

[–]TheNormalSun 2 points3 points ago

That is how not to help in an accident.

[–]Seife 2 points3 points ago

The guy that crashed is probably the husband of the girl the guy that drove away just banged.

[–]LondonTiger 2 points3 points ago

i would move too. No way I'm sticking around a car accident on a petrol tank, especially an accident which was entirely the fault of the sole driver involved in the accident.

[–]Vizck 1 point2 points ago

At first I thought it was the truck the title was for.

"NAH, I GOT SHIT TO DO TODAY. I AIN'T CRASHING."

[–]redditwithafork 2 points3 points ago

There could be a million reasons why he boogied. Car full of ecstasy, warrants, on the way to a once and a lifetime job interview, a ton of other people around to help (already on the phone with 911). I'd GTFO too, I hate cops. HATE.. cops. Even when you stick around to be helpful they want all your information and they treat you like a suspect in a crime. It's their lives work to FUCK with anyone and everyone they are "allowed" to make contact with. IMHO you should avoid police contact at ALL cost, ALWAYS.

[–]Pulpcowboy 1 point2 points ago

Has anyone considered the possibility that he was backing up to avoid any chance of an explosion?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

"Can't be part of the story...can't be part of the story."

[–]banzai33 6 points7 points ago

Don't blame him.

[–]hivemind6 1 point2 points ago

Either that or he had a warrant and he wanted to leave the scene before the authorities arrived.