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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Zyrth 710 points711 points ago

Where is Mike Rowe when you need him?

[–]playerIII 241 points242 points ago

That dudes face made me think the same thing.

[–]Kailen 128 points129 points ago

For a brief moment, I actually thought he WAS Mike Rowe. "I've never seen that episode of Dirty Jobs!"

[–]IAmAtomato 102 points103 points ago

It's from the lost episodes. Diiiiiiiirty Jobs.

[–]jax9999 82 points83 points ago

that is a dirty jobs i would watch the hell out of... especially when it was mikes turn at bat

[–]I-exist 59 points60 points ago

Mike Rowe's commentary would be priceless. You know what, he should start doing commentary for porn in general!

[–]Jeroknite 48 points49 points ago

Along with John Madden. Imagine it, Mike Rowe and John Madden personaly commentating every pornographic video ever made. Real sex just wouldn't be the same anymore.

[–]Novensu 83 points84 points ago

It would be even better when Madden started drawing on the screen to explain things.

[–]Saltine_Quackers 22 points23 points ago

Look at that penetration through the defense! BOOM. You got your vagina right there. And BOOM, there's the star of the show, 9 inch Long Shlong. Watch the sheer power behind that thrust. BOOM! Perfect delivery. I've always said, it's the big guys in the trenches winnin' the game.

[–]stevo42 8 points9 points ago

"now way back when I was in the game, we'd never think twice about switching holes on the fly"

[–]dwalkinafrica 161 points162 points ago

[–]therocketflyer 915 points916 points ago

Who had the idea that people want to watch the bottom of some dude's balls?

[–]ilovepills 1020 points1021 points ago

[–]JiminyPiminy 95 points96 points ago

Episode: Mac's Banging the Waitress

[–]ilovepills 304 points305 points ago

[–]RedEyeWalleye 115 points116 points ago

I don't really care which Sunny gif it is, they all get an upvote.

[–]foxxygrandpa 627 points628 points ago

risky click.

[–]fuckyourcouchplease 200 points201 points ago

i'm a risk-taker.

[–]theycallmealex 98 points99 points ago

me too, it's an IB learner profile

[–]utdude999 64 points65 points ago

FUCK IB

[–]Forhavu 17 points18 points ago

I'M A COMMUNICATOR, BITCH.

[–]geeenis 16 points17 points ago

Seriously, fuck IB. It makes everything two times harder than it needs to be.

[–]Dm4n96 50 points51 points ago

FUCK THE POLICE

[–]XavierKeepMarching 23 points24 points ago

COMIN' STRAIGHT FROM THA UNDERGROUND. SECOND TIME TODAY, LET'S DO IT.

[–]beepbeepimajeep_ 18 points19 points ago

A YOUNG NIGGA GOT IT BAD CUZ I'M BROWN!

[–]Steezle 28 points29 points ago

With Reddit Enhancement Suite, I've grown to expect the worst.

[–]Caveman788 203 points204 points ago

I always just assumed it was to show the viewer the penetration more. Since that view usually shows the penetration in the greatest detail. But, I agree. Don't need to see that. SCROLL TO THE MOTHAFUCKIN DOGGY STYLE AWWWW YEA

[–]Dream_the_Unpossible 137 points138 points ago

Nope. Reverse cowgirl is where it's at!

[–]Caveman788 77 points78 points ago

Reverse cowgirl is very, very nice. However, in the world of PoV, doggystyle reigns supreme. This is because, it's very simple for a girl to arch her back and take a pounding. It's far less common to find the guy doesn't know how to fuck a girl from behind. Whereas, it is common to find a girl who isn't all that great on top. I see it all the time. I will say my view is biased since I tend to watch more amateur porn as opposed to professionally filmed. I do appreciate a good reverse cowgirl segment. I guess what I'm saying is I feel the good ones are harder to find than good PoV doggy or even missionary.

[–]Dream_the_Unpossible 84 points85 points ago

I just prefer it because you see more of the girl and less of the guy.

[–]Caveman788 81 points82 points ago

I feel ya. I'm all like yea gurl ride that. Lemme see dat bootyhole.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

Man do I hate PoV. I don't get it. Obviously people have different tastes but I guess for me it's kind of like an uncanny valley thing going on cause obviously I'm not there so why am I seeing PoV?

[–]mh6446 30 points31 points ago

You didn't watch enough Mr. Rogers when you were little - otherwise you'd be able to imagine yourself right in the middle of it...

[–]ponto1 101 points102 points ago

The best is PoV where the girl is suckin and looking seductively, straight into the camera. Or getting pounded hard from behind while her arms or shoulders are being held by the guy

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]catlandia 14 points15 points ago

Yep. Female here, also. Close ups are the fucking worst. Also, cum shots. And when girls look into the camera I always suddenly feel very awkward and have to look away or fast forward.

[–]kehkot 31 points32 points ago

Agree totally. (another girl here)

[–]SexyGreenAndGold 11 points12 points ago

I hate those parts too. (Yet another girl here.)

[–]RaggedAngel 10 points11 points ago

Look me in my eyes while you fuck me, dammit. (We've got a thing going.)

[–]SexyGreenAndGold 3 points4 points ago

As long as I'm not doing it in porn.

Sheesh.

[–]NextName 95 points96 points ago

Guy here, my least favorite as well.

It's terrible when anyone looks into the camera. Plus I didn't click "SALLY RIDES COCK HARD" to watch a blowjob.

[–]katethegreat6 67 points68 points ago

not sure if pun about recently deceased astronaut...

[–]opalkadet 4 points5 points ago

But she was a lesbian....

[–]koolkid005 26 points27 points ago

Guy here, i hate those parts too, stop playing that shit for the camera. Actually, I hate everything but amateur porn.

[–]mistermog 18 points19 points ago

Begs the question: which are your favorite...

...pause...

...parts?

[–]wickedsteve 14 points15 points ago

Raises the question.

[–]mainsworth 21 points22 points ago

Probably any part she doesn't get asked this question by some rando.

[–]hazelpony2 59 points60 points ago

POV Cowgirl or missionary, so you can see the girls tits bounce up and down

[–]falousco 33 points34 points ago

POV reverse cowgirl ftw!

[–]APPLEBLOOMthrowaway 15 points16 points ago

I've almost started to fap exclusively to POV reverse cowgirl or POV doggystyle.

I JUST LOVE ANUSES asses SO MUCH!

[–]seagramsextradrygin 7 points8 points ago

Then you're going to love butthole camp.

[–]tendoman 12 points13 points ago

"Dear Mom: Today at butthole camp, we had a shitty time".

[–]I-WILL-RAPE-YOU 253 points254 points ago

[–]Cypher_Diaz 206 points207 points ago

that was an even riskier click.

[–]4ut0cu3 57 points58 points ago

Especially considering the username.

[–]Space_Bungalow 136 points137 points ago

That gif is pretty tight butthole

[–]Justizzi 12 points13 points ago

I had to 'Open link in incognito window'.. with the username and the unidentified link, it was the most obvious option.

[–]La_Strada 25 points26 points ago

As a female, I concur.

Edit: I would also like to add that as a female, I dislike hearing the grunting/moaning/any sort of sound coming from the guy. If they can edit out queefs and the like, they should edit that shit out. Basically, just give me close ups of the vag pounding.

[–]ChiefFallinghorse 22 points23 points ago

Every low budget porn has to have the gouch shot. Call it tradition.

[–]burningbeast55 49 points50 points ago

Worst part of porn ever. Just give me a good frontal view of the babe and I'm good.

[–]GhostFish 20 points21 points ago

They push this angle in gay porn too, and I don't know any gay men that enjoy seeing it. And we usually like seeing man parts.

[–]jmu083 12 points13 points ago

It just isn't a particularly attractive part of the human anatomy...

[–]flukz 11 points12 points ago

...and I don't understand the point of seeing two unattractive parts of the human anatomy being slammed together for four minutes.

[–]DomoInMySoup 5 points6 points ago

But dat taint man. DAT TAINT.

[–]JamoWRage 172 points173 points ago

His work is NSFW?

[–]CrazyJoe91 46 points47 points ago

Gives a whole new meaning to "the daily grind"

[–]Birdie_Num_Num 17 points18 points ago

Just one fucking thing after another

[–]danohh 213 points214 points ago

This man has to see those boner killing butt pimples irl.

[–]Beefington 72 points73 points ago

What are in his pouches! Is this where Rob Liefeld got his inspiration??

[–]Abnmlguru 83 points84 points ago

Those pouches are rechargeable batteries, hooked together, to make a battery belt. The batteries are to power the bright light (humorously called a bat light) on his camera.

[–]Mjrdouchington 30 points31 points ago

I want to understand the humour! is it because it lights up the bat cave? Is it because it uses batteries? I thought it was called a pussy light (or a cuntlight)

[–]Abnmlguru 29 points30 points ago

Lol... In TV news (my field) they're called bat lights because they run off of batteries, but the belt looks like something Bat Man would wear, so there's a little joke there.

In Porn, they may have an entirely different nick name, I don't know :)

[–]hbomberman 3 points4 points ago

Flesh light?

[–]roguewave 4 points5 points ago

It looks like the camera man is wearing an old school comic book utility belt.

[–]BrotherSeamus 13 points14 points ago

Is this where Rob Liefeld got his inspiration??

This man clearly has feet.

[–]mucho_gringo 62 points63 points ago

I do believe the cameraman and the gentlemen occupying either end of the woman are all wearing the same t-shirts...

[–]learntofart 19 points20 points ago

John Thompson Company (most SFW company site I could find, but just for safety, might be [NSFW])

Alternatively, you can look the man up on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Thompson_Productions

[–]ThePooze 39 points40 points ago

MUTE MUTE MUTE MUTE MUTE!

[–]Subhazard 15 points16 points ago

I feel like Duke Nukem 3D was about to start.

[–]oddurs 12 points13 points ago

Perfect. Now I have great insight into the German bukkake porn industry.

[–]learntofart 37 points38 points ago

[–]mikesername 331 points332 points ago

[–]jsmayne 143 points144 points ago

for gay bukkake porn

[–]Ugbrog 240 points241 points ago

Not the worst job to have on the set of a gay bukkake porn shoot.

[–]falousco 68 points69 points ago

Imagine the thoughts the gay guy has as he steps into his shower, naked, and stands in total silence, aside from the pattering of the water. Imagine his thoughts, as all that gunk slowly slides down off him, I wonder if he would cry at what his life has become.

[–]FTZ 89 points90 points ago

He then proceeds to masturbate.

[–]hardshocker 32 points33 points ago

and then starts swearing as the drain clogs due to said gunk.

[–]frank14752 8 points9 points ago

As some one who has no isea what gay bukkake porn is, I'm afraid to google this now.

[–]hardshocker 4 points5 points ago

just look up the hetero version, same thing except with a woman but still will clog a shower.

[–]Shoola 25 points26 points ago

I know a guy who's filmed a professional porno before. From what he told me, most dudes wouldn't be all that keen on sticking their disco-sticks into such gaping hatchet wounds.

[–]mistermog 9 points10 points ago

I gave you an upvote for achievement in creative euphemisms.

[–]mooglesama 24 points25 points ago

Really, the only thing I care about is penetration.

[–]ajgator7 116 points117 points ago

Also shitty: Face shot of the guy when he's cumming.

Who wants to see that?

[–]frollicking 91 points92 points ago

Surprise: girls watch porn too.

[–]Rich0 43 points44 points ago

Do you actually like it? My GF likes to close her eyes whenever I orgasms, but that's mostly due to I'm ugly as fucks to look at.

[–]Rich0 21 points22 points ago

[–]jergens 21 points22 points ago

[–]Yufu 10 points11 points ago

"They say you can see into a man's soul when you look him in the eyes during his Vinegar Strokes..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ocy8spINYE

[–]DannyBueno 11 points12 points ago

That's called the Vinegar Strokes. If you look into a man's eyes during his vinegar strokes, you can see into his soul.

[–]ScanExam 21 points22 points ago

No. One.

[–]SexLiesAndExercise 340 points341 points ago

Does anyone else not watch the grand finale? Like... I don't need to see some guy jizz on a girl's face. Back to the sexing please.

[–]shmerk_a_berl 157 points158 points ago

I like to see when the girl finishes, not the guy..

[–]sohnemann 263 points264 points ago

finishes

Boy, do I have bad news for you

[–]shmerk_a_berl 34 points35 points ago

whats that?

[–]LeroyJenkems 95 points96 points ago

Women are the trains that just keep on choo-chooing.

[–]Aviator8989 33 points34 points ago

I'm going to keep this one in mind for the next time I have to explain female orgasms to a 5 year old.

[–]PseudoNymn 20 points21 points ago

Does this situation come up often?

[–]_deffer_ 25 points26 points ago

ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

I admit NOTHING!

[–]DRAC2GUNZ 2 points3 points ago

They grow up so fast these days.

[–]stopstigma 13 points14 points ago

Orgasms in porn are usually fake.

For the women at least

[–]hbomberman 35 points36 points ago

"Oh wow! I just came three times! At the same time!"

[–]uptwolait 36 points37 points ago

Girls can have orgasms?

[–]Besterthenyou 2 points3 points ago

Just not with you.

[–]txapollo342 42 points43 points ago

The finale is the only thing I watch, frequently.

"Skip to end... no, too early, he still bangs her, needs 30 seconds more... no, still too early... ah yes, here we are!" [fap fap fap]

[–]AintNeverGonnaStop 45 points46 points ago

Probably want to work on your stamina.

[–]txapollo342 30 points31 points ago

The fapping session includes many videos watched in this way, not just one.

[–]Steve138 11 points12 points ago

This is my method a well. It can be incredibly disheartening with a slow computer/internet connection

[–]ARedFez 5 points6 points ago

R/NoFap would be horrified at this thread.

[–]dizzi800 2 points3 points ago

There are compilation videos of JUST this you know right? Peter North mostly.

[–]dwightmoody 2 points3 points ago

You might want to add the word "contemplation" to your porn search strings.

[–]Parkmayn 246 points247 points ago

I actually find it quite hot.

[–]sundbergftw 125 points126 points ago

so does the girl.

[–]Rabble_Arouser 41 points42 points ago

It's my favourite part. I'm actually quite displeased when the guy has a weak load, or it just kind of dribbles out. Fuckin' pathetic!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Poebes 34 points35 points ago

NO, I DO!

[–]andbruno 11 points12 points ago

Grand finale of creampie videos...

[–]JeremyF686 7 points8 points ago

Agreed. I can't finish by watching another guy finish...

[–]Damnyoureyes 86 points87 points ago

Well to be fair the first section is ENTIRELY BLOWJOBS. I mean yeah, they're awesome, but I don't need to see someone else getting one. It's super boring.

[–]ShetlandJames 170 points171 points ago

Breaking: humans found to enjoy different aspects of porno.

[–]bitcheslovedroids 102 points103 points ago

It's almost as if people have different preferences

[–]CozenOne 23 points24 points ago

It's almost like each person is different in some way

[–]ScanExam 10 points11 points ago

You could apply that comment to any part of a porn. At no point are you actually in it, ya know.

[–]this_sort_of_thing 5 points6 points ago

Most of the time I just stick to lesbians nowadays, you can't really go wrong with that

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

I hate clip shows.

[–]dontneedyourkarma 10 points11 points ago

The part that you skip is the part where I take notes.

[–]MarchingBroadband 57 points58 points ago

Taking notes from porn is not usually a good idea

[–]dontneedyourkarma 18 points19 points ago

That's true. And saying "but I saw them do that in a porno" usually doesn't work either.

[–]uptwolait 10 points11 points ago

Unless you're interested in producing porn.

[–]jokes_on_you 57 points58 points ago

That would be really tough calf workout. It would suck to have to fuck on your tippy toes.

[–]Haasts_Eagle 27 points28 points ago

All the times I been in that position the girl has been shorter so I have to squat a bit. Turns into a thigh workout instead!

[–]bholzer 24 points25 points ago

If you don't feel sore after sex, you're doing it wrong!

[–]trisight 5 points6 points ago

I'm 6'5.. get a phone book for her (or a couple of phone books) they help out a lot for that. They also make these suction cup things you can put up into your shower that are similar to the foot/hand cups you use for wall climbing. I've never used the latter but they could help I"m sure.

[–]m4rc 18 points19 points ago

He looks like Al Bundy while selling shoes.

[–]ZeKK 91 points92 points ago

Well, that doesn't top the cameraman who ended up being "shot" in the eye.

Edit : found it, NSFW : http://www.redtube.com/47

[–]Rysdad 88 points89 points ago

That must be some kind of OSHA violation.

[–]AsDevilsRun 47 points48 points ago

That guy did an AMA here. It was staged. I'm on mobile and stand no chance of finding it here, so hopefully someone else will deliver.

[–]h4mburgers 91 points92 points ago

"Hey Tony I've got this hilarious prank. I'm gonna jizz in your eye and we'll film it ok?"

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Bro_Hawkins 183 points184 points ago

ಠ_X

[–]AsDevilsRun 9 points10 points ago

Dammit. It was some mixture of...something.

SOMEONE FIND THE AMA. I'M DROWNING IN MY OWN RECOLLECTION FAIL.

[–]tisraels 72 points73 points ago

Twist: he enjoyed it.

Directed by M. Night Suckalottadingdong

[–]falousco 56 points57 points ago

You didn't tell me your mum was a director!

[–]TheTragicReturn 9 points10 points ago

Yea, it being staged should be obvious to people. Who films a cameraman who's filming porn?

[–]broadcastterp 104 points105 points ago

This Futurama-inspired poster is a good way to describe this image.

[–]Bashington 144 points145 points ago

Was expecting this one.

[–]WolfKnifeLaserTorch 36 points37 points ago

He even looks like that guy.

[–]broadcastterp 7 points8 points ago

Equally good.

[–]markovich04 13 points14 points ago

This TSA stuff has gotten ridiculous.

[–]bornagainredditor 143 points144 points ago

That's a bum deal, man.

[–]pileofpylons 78 points79 points ago

At least he's not being anal about it.

[–]VindicoAtrum 55 points56 points ago

Just have to take life by the balls I guess.

[–]mooses_ear 61 points62 points ago

Sphincter.

[–]cuddles_the_destroye 17 points18 points ago

Though to be fair, it's hard to fuck up.

[–]julianfkelly 25 points26 points ago

I bet his mother hates that he films that junk all day.

[–]spartan421 36 points37 points ago

i'm sure he'll have plenty of

(•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

fondle mammaries

[–]Scaryfedoraman 9 points10 points ago

That joke would not have been as funny as it was, if I didn't imagine David Crusoe actually saying "fondle mammaries"

[–]Ozzyosman 16 points17 points ago

He has to shine his light where the light don't shine.

[–]streetxmanifesto 9 points10 points ago

Looks like there is a dildo coming out of the other side of that camera. This gentleman... and this camera may serve multiple purposes.

[–]metallic_eggplant 82 points83 points ago

He's probably so desensitized that he does just see it as doing his job

[–]dman24752 104 points105 points ago

...'cause ya know, he is...

[–]awesomedan24 30 points31 points ago

What else would it be?

[–]runsoutofspace 70 points71 points ago

Fuck this guy... he doesn't know the angles I like.

[–]BaseRunner7 112 points113 points ago

He just films what the director tells him to. The cameraman doesn't get to pick the shots

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]haiku_robot 47 points48 points ago

The awkward moment 
when you're fucking someone, while 
standing on your toes...

[–]hollingsworthless 13 points14 points ago

So wait. Does this just go out and find comments that have the right number of syllables for a haiku? AWESOME!

[–]radben 6 points7 points ago

Sigh, just another day at the orifice.

[–]I_read_this_comment 6 points7 points ago

"Its a living"

[–]Arab81253 4 points5 points ago

Probably doesn't smell too great, poor dude

[–]pictorialturn 6 points7 points ago

This would be a great show for Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe.

[–]Mesadoram 2 points3 points ago

I searched the comments just for this. Their similarities are really outstanding.

[–]Learned-Hand 25 points26 points ago

0/10. Would not watch this porn.

[–]hollingsworthless 16 points17 points ago

Come on. It's at least a 1/10. I've seen worse.

[–]hbomberman 13 points14 points ago

It's at least a 3 or 4. Below that is the really horrible stuff. Remember: there's videos somewhere of people pooping on each other or having sex with animals.

[–]bubbameister33 16 points17 points ago

That bald guy looks like Hank from Breaking Bad.

[–]Lamar_the_Usurper 4 points5 points ago

Oh shit...yeah, that works...nice.

[–]spangyo 2 points3 points ago

That guy in front of the camera is very short. Never have I had to stand on my tiptoes in that position. And her knees are even bent.

[–]darktemplardude 3 points4 points ago

AMA request: That guy

[–]HoundDawg3 4 points5 points ago

"Next, on Dirty Jobs..."

[–]Raymount 10 points11 points ago

I HATE WATCHING THAT ANGLE.

[–]rinder 7 points8 points ago

"Wow, TSA is really taking things to a whole new level"

--my first thought

[–]adudeinblue 2 points3 points ago

This is a potential "Dirty Job" episode. Internet, make it happen.

[–]shutupjoey 2 points3 points ago

As a TV/film grad who can't find work in the field, I'd take that job.

[–]singletWarrior 2 points3 points ago

Ever since I saw this image I can't help but start to see every image from camera person's point of view, how they'd shoot it, what equipment they shot it with etc...