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top 200 commentsshow all 218

[–]ArtVandelayInd 289 points290 points ago

Livestrong little buddy.

[–]dj_boy-Wonder 121 points122 points ago

He just wanted to stop being shellfish

[–]spartan421 107 points108 points ago

must hear the back story to this

(•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

lobster tale

[–]OIP 26 points27 points ago

Well this just takes the bisque-it.

[–]plasker6 11 points12 points ago

It added a pinch of humor.

[–]0takuSharkGuy 0 points1 point ago

I don't know, it feels like he's clawing for attention

[–]A_Very_Brave_Taco 16 points17 points ago

YYYYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

[–]thatpaxguy 16 points17 points ago

We'll just sea about that.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

Wow. That must have been one of those moments where you had to choose between the joy of discovering the utterly perfect pun and the pain of the issue at hand.

A Lobster's Tale, starring Lilo Brancato

[–]caveman_rejoice 156 points157 points ago

Maine lobsters blast piss in each others faces while trying to find a mate.

[–]steph-was-here 309 points310 points ago

The people of Maine do this as well.

[–]NotaMethAddict 126 points127 points ago

So does R-Kelly.

[–]bigmenace 41 points42 points ago

Haters wanna hate, Lovers wanna love

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]FarmerTedd 33 points34 points ago

Drip Drip Drip

Piss on you

Pee on you

[–]Cam8895 1 point2 points ago

[–]Nosnhoj24 18 points19 points ago

As a resident of Maine, I can confirm this but I would like to clarify that we prefer to blast each other's faces with a mix of piss, breast milk, and Moxie.

[–]alis96 16 points17 points ago

The finest Cambodian breast milks?

[–]jgibran[!] 2 points3 points ago

[–]MrFace1 3 points4 points ago

As a former resident of Maine, I can also confirm but your forgot that after blasting Moxie piss milk in their face if we find that they are not the match we throw Humpty Dumpty chips as a decoy and run away.

[–]shit_reddit_says 2 points3 points ago

No coffee brandy?

[–]Ironbird420 0 points1 point ago

We use that for marking our territory.

[–]m1lgram 1 point2 points ago

As a Maine resident, WAT.

[–]Chinook700 1 point2 points ago

Moxie is the best worst tasting stuff on earth. Mmm canned bubblegum cough syrup.

In all seriousness, Old Soaker Wild Blueberry Soda is the best thing to ever happen to this world.

[–]deadymcstevejobs 2 points3 points ago

Thank you for clarifying this, I had come to the conclusion you were throwing milk, piss, and phrases from the early 20th century at each other.

[–]m1lgram 4 points5 points ago

As a Maine resident I can confirm this. Claimed me three new ladies today.

[–]imward 3 points4 points ago

as a NH native I can also confirm this is true about Maine.

[–]Lillipout[S] 60 points61 points ago

Well, if you can think of a better way to find a girlfriend, I'd like to hear it.

[–]sweet_grl 29 points30 points ago

I...no, got nothing.

[–]TheTalentedAmateur 12 points13 points ago

Psst....try "rohypnol".

[–]Heimdall2061 5 points6 points ago

Hippity hippity hoppity hop, when we meet the Ether Bunny we all go "flop."

[–]Seredoff 5 points6 points ago

Try candy.

[–]TumbleDryLow 2 points3 points ago

...Why don't you take a seat. Take a seat, right over there.

[–]Seredoff 5 points6 points ago

You don't even want to know what German lobsters do.

[–]moxie132 0 points1 point ago

TIL

[–]OIP 31 points32 points ago

</milton from office space voice>

[–]galileofan 6 points7 points ago

Mmm yeah, You're gonna have to talk to 'Payroll' about that.

[–]yet_another_abdl 14 points15 points ago

ctrl-f Milton, NOT THE ONLY ONE!

[–]Saicotic 16 points17 points ago

Me too.

"Eh-excuse me, I, I, I was told, I was told that this wristband was for cancer awareness, for people to be aware of cancer, to raise awareness for it, and, and...sir? Sir? Sir, don't walk away from me, sir...I'll burn this whole building to the ground..."

[–]TheseIronBones 4 points5 points ago

Thats the last straw...

[–]AFewSecondsAgoDouche 0 points1 point ago

So cool.

[–]muffinmonk 137 points138 points ago

This kills the Lobster.

[–]rockerode 58 points59 points ago

I don't know why, but I really feel depressed looking at this image. It makes me really irrationally sad.

[–]powergeeks 28 points29 points ago

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

All the feels bro. ):

[–]4merFiend 23 points24 points ago

[–]cpnHindsight 5 points6 points ago

Where is this from?

[–]cainhunpi 6 points7 points ago

Legend of Korra

[–]John_Targaryen 6 points7 points ago

/r/thelastairbender will answer all of your questions my friend

[–]hyperbolabole 16 points17 points ago

Every time I see this, I think it's referring to a subreddit about "the LA stair-bender".

[–]Black_Jesus 1 point2 points ago

Fucking humans are deceiving! Thought you had a friend then the stab you in the back...

[–]Girolmao 0 points1 point ago

I leave the house when we have lobster. I can no longer stand to be in the house during live cooking of the poor things.

[–]gameguy285 7 points8 points ago

not really irrational. animals can have sympathy for other species. poor lobster is about to get his head cut open. you can appreciate how much that sucks no matter what you are. too bad they're delicious

[–]lichlord 2 points3 points ago

Doesn't really matter where you cut a lobster open, they don't have a central nervous system.

http://www.gourmet.com/magazine/2000s/2004/08/consider_the_lobster

[–]ghostbackwards[!] 2 points3 points ago

I cooked thirty of them today.

[–]paerb 2 points3 points ago

Nice try, Nexus-6.

[–]whiskeytango55 -1 points0 points ago

and hungry?

[–]rockerode 0 points1 point ago

If only lobster wasn't so expensive.

[–]whiskeytango55 4 points5 points ago

[–]rockerode 3 points4 points ago

I think I need to head to the store...

[–]lichlord 0 points1 point ago

[–]jelly_cake 88 points89 points ago

[–]agrassman 59 points60 points ago

that is a crab.

[–]Black_Jesus 13 points14 points ago

I don't know why, but your basic factual comment gave me the largest laugh of the night. Fuck my Saturday night sucks.

[–]jelly_cake 25 points26 points ago

Crabs have feelings too!

[–]agrassman 4 points5 points ago

egads!

[–]Girolmao 1 point2 points ago

sdage... nope, it's not a word backwards.

[–]Dsch1ngh1s_Khan 35 points36 points ago

Every time I see this picture, it hurts my feel guds :c

[–]Stembio 7 points8 points ago

I am struck with an uncontrollable, horrified laughter.

[–]imward 1 point2 points ago

better than being boiled alive!

[–]whiskeytango55 2 points3 points ago

that's a pretty limp crab. I'd wager it was already dead.

[–]hippostiptoes 20 points21 points ago

or it'd just given up :(

[–]Girolmao 0 points1 point ago

[–]Astrapsody 0 points1 point ago

Dude....

[–]Nachteule 1 point2 points ago

That's reality every day several thousand times. And the customers order crab meat and don't think about what's going on in the kitchens.

[–]Zpiritual 0 points1 point ago

See 2 seconds... Nope

[–]Girolmao 0 points1 point ago

Why am I still reading this thread? So many feels.

[–]Leafar3456 0 points1 point ago

Right in the feels.

[–]sweetpotatosaurus 31 points32 points ago

Why do i get sad when I see a lobster about to be cooked?

[–]Mocosa 60 points61 points ago

Because you wont be eating it?

[–]Waffles81 4 points5 points ago

This one's about to be cut in half though...:/

[–]raheelp 5 points6 points ago

Hes killing the lobster by puncturing the "brain". It won't necessarily be cut in half but it may.

[–]Waffles81 1 point2 points ago

Yeah that's also possible. Either way, it's gonna get stabbed.

[–]Ironbird420 0 points1 point ago

I find it funny people think that is more humane. It's like a big bug, pull off the head and it still moves. Like that gif where the crab pulls it's own arm off.

[–]sweetpotatosaurus 0 points1 point ago

Do you think he'll get cooked after that?

[–]Waffles81 2 points3 points ago

If by cooked you mean boiled, then i think no. If they're cut in half before boiled, it'll usually just get cooked in a pan... At least thats my understanding.

[–]sweetpotatosaurus 0 points1 point ago

My understanding is that that is still cooking.

[–]Waffles81 7 points8 points ago

Then why the fuck did you ask? Did you think they where gonna eat the fucker raw!?

for fucks sake.

[–]KarmaTornado -4 points-3 points ago

Waffles81? Don't you mean Carrots81??

[–]politburrito 0 points1 point ago

I thinks it's already dead. Don't they cook them first?

[–]yorrick21 2 points3 points ago

Nope. I saw Bobby Flay drive his knife through the head of a lobster on Iron Chef, then quickly throw the corpse onto the stove.

Apparently he thinks this method tastes better than boiling alive.

Man, glad I'm not a lobster.

[–]yodaboy64 1 point2 points ago

Alton Brown has a couple things to say about it, First: Why you shouldn't feel too bad about killing them

Second, since you'll need to in order to eat it, Here's how to do it humanely

[–]politburrito 0 points1 point ago

Your comment got me thinking and honestly, I don't know which is the worst way to die of the two. I've always felt that dying in a fire or being boiled alive would be the worst way to go, and I guess a good clean cut is a quicker way to die. The lobster would suffer less, I guess.

[–]TehDMV 0 points1 point ago

i've posted before but i guess i'll post it again because why not. when you drop the lobster headfirst into the boiling water, it dies almost instantly. so either way there is very little, if any suffering that the lobster endures.

[–]lichlord 0 points1 point ago

It'd suffer less if it had a central nervous system to disrupt but the knife through the head is pretty much just to make us feel better about boiling them alive.

http://www.gourmet.com/magazine/2000s/2004/08/consider_the_lobster

[–]raheelp -1 points0 points ago

just because it dosent have a devolped cns dosent mean it dosent have nerves or pain receptors i dunno what ure getting at.

[–]stokleplinger 29 points30 points ago

"Don't worry, these holes will make you go faster."

[–]BiGEyE-6 25 points26 points ago

They are speed holes.

[–]SpermWhale 1 point2 points ago

Turbo holes?

[–]DNoo 8 points9 points ago

I laughed and then I felt sad :(

[–]Enrys 9 points10 points ago

Lobsters have those bands to stop them fro cannibalizing each other.

[–]FacinatedByMagic 8 points9 points ago

When I worked at Red Lobster we had a lobster in the tank manage to remove one of the bands on a claw. While he didn't go cannibalistic and eat the others, he did rip off the arms of some of them. Which is a problem, because if your paying 30~40 for a lobster, your going to want it to have both arms.

[–]MrConfucius 3 points4 points ago

40 bucks for a lobster? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! I've never had it and just realized how luxurious it is!

[–]Manial 9 points10 points ago

Funnily enough, lobster used to be considered a trash fish and eating it was associated with poverty.

[–]ghostbackwards[!] 2 points3 points ago

I get them for fourfitty a pound.

[–]ubomw 1 point2 points ago

I just checked, it's pretty cheap as my experience goes, it goes by 30 bucks at a local market near production centre for a Brittany lobster, double or triple that at a restaurant, higher prices at christmas/new eve.

[–]deadymcstevejobs 0 points1 point ago

It's only 3-5 dollars a pound in the Northeast US right now, pretty damn cheap.

[–]coin_return 0 points1 point ago

The markup is just insane. I kind of loved living in Maine for a summer and working on a lobster boat... all the lobster I wanted for barely anything at all. Finding a good steak on the other hand... ugh.

[–]FacinatedByMagic 0 points1 point ago

A surf and turf dinner at the casino I work at now runs about $50, that's a 6oz lobster tail and a 6oz filet.

[–]Ironbird420 1 point2 points ago

I thought it wasn't so they don't fuck you up when you reach for them.

[–]Enrys 1 point2 points ago

Well that too. Usually they grab from where the lobster cant reach them anyway.

[–]PointPruven 11 points12 points ago

i dont know why but im in tears over this with laughter

[–]LookhowMnyFucksIGive 1 point2 points ago

me toooooooo

[–]galileofan 1 point2 points ago

Then I'm happy and sad for you.

[–]Black_Ash_Heir 1 point2 points ago

Me too. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY?

[–]Mocosa 7 points8 points ago

Just accomplished the old man gasping laugh.

[–]McDreads 6 points7 points ago

Fun fact: Lobsters tend to become cannibalistic when held in captivity. The rubber bands are used to prevent the lobster from attacking and eating one of his lobster buddies.

[–]pseudolobster 10 points11 points ago

Can you blame them?

[–]fuckthemusics 4 points5 points ago

THATS NOT FUN AT ALL.

[–]MrConfucius 11 points12 points ago

Oh my god, how did I not realize my 3 year old pictures would get me so much karma-pussy.

Not even being sarcastic, it's really crazy seeing a photo I recognize from so long ago being so newly appreciated by people who've never seen it before. So what if it's a repost, It's great to see people enjoy it. I love this image. It popped up at the right time in my life and made me laugh just hard enough to think better of things.

Sometimes, a repost is good.

[–]powergeeks 7 points8 points ago

It has to age, like fine wine before the repost is ripe for harvest. Too soon, and the bitterness and deformity will ruin the crop and all of those around you. However, too late and the karma fruit falls off the vine, rotten and worthless until someone makes karma raisins.

[–]MrConfucius -1 points0 points ago

Amen to that, man. 24 hour reposts are just too soon.

[–]Crabxcore69 6 points7 points ago

Should have been a crab.

[–]MiniDonbeE 2 points3 points ago

I've never felt so bad for a lobster.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

The bands arn't just so they can't claw you, they also have them because lobsters become cannibalistic when in enclosed spaces (e.g. A tank)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

I once saw some lobsters eat another one while it was still alive in a tank at the grocery store. I felt so bad for it.

[–]CtrlC_plus_CtrlV 33 points34 points ago

Very surprised that a lobster was trying to raise cancer awareness; they're usually so shellfish.

[–]EnderSavesTheDay 6 points7 points ago

Pun threads are for bottom feeders.

[–]ShozOvr[!] -3 points-2 points ago

Enough of this crab!

[–]Ceejae 1 point2 points ago

There needs to be more awareness campaigns for cancer, I've never heard of it.

[–]ashmole 1 point2 points ago

I imagined this being read by Hans Moleman. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWOExbcYbl0

[–]ThatAwkwardPerson 1 point2 points ago

I read this in a Bobby Boucher voice

[–]Scott_MacGregor 1 point2 points ago

Why would a lobster want to raise awareness about crabs? Are they enemies?

[–]hockeytown19 1 point2 points ago

Hey Harvey, get a load of this guy.........Harvey?
and Harvey was gone.

Now we know where he went.

[–]dave_wave 1 point2 points ago

[–]Magmarizer 1 point2 points ago

I will burn this kitchen down...

[–]Foggydoggg 1 point2 points ago

This made me slightly sad, although that lobster doesn't even have a clue about what's going on. Personification of aminalz and inanimate objects never fails to make me get all aww'y.

[–]Dougleton 1 point2 points ago

HA!

What a stupid fucking lobster

Everybody knows those ribbons are for supporting the troops!

[–]zarat[!] 1 point2 points ago

CONSIDER THE LOBSTER

[–]slagdwarf 1 point2 points ago

I watched a sushi chef perform this maneuver on a live lobster. This cut apparently severs the nerve and immediately kills the lobster.

That, however, does not stop all of the nerves from reacting, thus each piece of the lobster that he expertly cut in the moments after remained moving/twitching on its own for a minute or so before it could be further prepared.

It was amazing to see such consummate skill enacted, but I was slightly traumatized at the same time!

[–]lichlord 1 point2 points ago

What nerves? Lobsters have a distributed nervous system, not a brain or spinal cord.

http://www.gourmet.com/magazine/2000s/2004/08/consider_the_lobster

[–]slagdwarf 0 points1 point ago

TIL! Regardless of the biological mechanism, within seconds a live lobster was in squirming pieces on the prep table and it was trippy.

[–]Mange-Tout 1 point2 points ago

I'm a chef, and when I saw this all I thought was, "Thats the proper technique to humanely kill a lobster.". The joke is totally lost on me.

[–]lichlord 0 points1 point ago

What exactly is a knife through the head supposed to do to a creature without a central nervous system?

http://www.gourmet.com/magazine/2000s/2004/08/consider_the_lobster

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Cutting the brain in half like that will kill the lobster quickly and painlessly.

[–]lichlord -1 points0 points ago

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I hate to burst your bubble and point out how gourmet magazine is wrong. Though not really so here you go and as I am sure you can see the red word that spells brain, I hope this puts an end to this. http://www.gma.org/lobsters/trivia.html And yes this website is much more reliable than gourmet magazine's. http://www.gmri.org/about/index.asp

[–]lichlord 0 points1 point ago

The Gourmet magazine article is an essay by David Foster Wallace and well worth the read just because it's interesting. It's long, but definitely not preachy. The author is conflicted about his feelings when eating lobster. The portion of the essay relevant to the brain vs distributed nervous system is copied blow, but that question only addresses half of the issues ethicists consider relevant. The essay is generally a exploration of our relationship to lobsters, both historically and in the context of the Main Lobster Festival.

I hope you'll noticed that I haven't injected my own judgement into this. I also hope you'll at least read the first four paragraphs of the copied text below before skipping over the rest of it, should you choose.

This whole interchange takes place on Route 1, 30 July, during a four-mile, 50-minute ride from the airport11 to the dealership to sign car-rental papers. Several irreproducible segues down the road from the PETA anecdotes, Dick—whose son-in-law happens to be a professional lobsterman and one of the Main Eating Tent’s regular suppliers—articulates what he and his family feel is the crucial mitigating factor in the whole morality-of-boiling-lobsters-alive issue: “There’s a part of the brain in people and animals that lets us feel pain, and lobsters’ brains don’t have this part.”

Besides the fact that it’s incorrect in about 11 different ways, the main reason Dick’s statement is interesting is that its thesis is more or less echoed by the Festival’s own pronouncement on lobsters and pain, which is part of a Test Your Lobster IQ quiz that appears in the 2003 MLF program courtesy of the Maine Lobster Promotion Council: “The nervous system of a lobster is very simple, and is in fact most similar to the nervous system of the grasshopper. It is decentralized with no brain. There is no cerebral cortex, which in humans is the area of the brain that gives the experience of pain.”

Though it sounds more sophisticated, a lot of the neurology in this latter claim is still either false or fuzzy. The human cerebral cortex is the brain-part that deals with higher faculties like reason, metaphysical self-awareness, language, etc. Pain reception is known to be part of a much older and more primitive system of nociceptors and prostaglandins that are managed by the brain stem and thalamus. On the other hand, it is true that the cerebral cortex is involved in what’s variously called suffering, distress, or the emotional experience of pain—i.e., experiencing painful stimuli as unpleasant, very unpleasant, unbearable, and so on.

Before we go any further, let’s acknowledge that the questions of whether and how different kinds of animals feel pain, and of whether and why it might be justifiable to inflict pain on them in order to eat them, turn out to be extremely complex and difficult. And comparative neuroanatomy is only part of the problem. Since pain is a totally subjective mental experience, we do not have direct access to anyone or anything’s pain but our own; and even just the principles by which we can infer that others experience pain and have a legitimate interest in not feeling pain involve hard-core philosophy—metaphysics, epistemology, value theory, ethics. The fact that even the most highly evolved nonhuman mammals can’t use language to communicate with us about their subjective mental experience is only the first layer of additional complication in trying to extend our reasoning about pain and morality to animals. And everything gets progressively more abstract and convolved as we move farther and farther out from the higher-type mammals into cattle and swine and dogs and cats and rodents, and then birds and fish, and finally invertebrates like lobsters.

... later in the essay:

There happen to be two main criteria that most ethicists agree on for determining whether a living creature has the capacity to suffer and so has genuine interests that it may or may not be our moral duty to consider. One is how much of the neurological hardware required for pain-experience the animal comes equipped with—nociceptors, prostaglandins, neuronal opioid receptors, etc. The other criterion is whether the animal demonstrates behavior associated with pain. And it takes a lot of intellectual gymnastics and behaviorist hairsplitting not to see struggling, thrashing, and lid-clattering as just such pain-behavior. According to marine zoologists, it usually takes lobsters between 35 and 45 seconds to die in boiling water. (No source I could find talked about how long it takes them to die in superheated steam; one rather hopes it’s faster.)

There are, of course, other fairly common ways to kill your lobster on-site and so achieve maximum freshness. Some cooks’ practice is to drive a sharp heavy knife point-first into a spot just above the midpoint between the lobster’s eyestalks (more or less where the Third Eye is in human foreheads). This is alleged either to kill the lobster instantly or to render it insensate—and is said at least to eliminate the cowardice involved in throwing a creature into boiling water and then fleeing the room. As far as I can tell from talking to proponents of the knife-in-the-head method, the idea is that it’s more violent but ultimately more merciful, plus that a willingness to exert personal agency and accept responsibility for stabbing the lobster’s head honors the lobster somehow and entitles one to eat it. (There’s often a vague sort of Native American spirituality-of-the-hunt flavor to pro-knife arguments.) But the problem with the knife method is basic biology: Lobsters’ nervous systems operate off not one but several ganglia, a.k.a. nerve bundles, which are sort of wired in series and distributed all along the lobster’s underside, from stem to stern. And disabling only the frontal ganglion does not normally result in quick death or unconsciousness. Another alternative is to put the lobster in cold salt water and then very slowly bring it up to a full boil. Cooks who advocate this method are going mostly on the analogy to a frog, which can supposedly be kept from jumping out of a boiling pot by heating the water incrementally. In order to save a lot of research-summarizing, I’ll simply assure you that the analogy between frogs and lobsters turns out not to hold.

[–]aasianeskimo 4 points5 points ago

Don't feel to bad your post did rather well to.

[–]lth5015 1 point2 points ago

For the sake of Karma, I've downvoted this and upvoted yours. But you have to remember repost are often like re-runs. They are posted for the both the audience that didn't see it the first time and for the audience that enjoyed enough that they want to see it again.

Also, he had a much better title.

[–]Elephant_Pizza 1 point2 points ago

COOKEDSTRONGTM

[–]Skylerguns 1 point2 points ago

This kills the crab

[–]unlimited_juice 0 points1 point ago

This made me so sad for some reason :( WHO PUT THESE ONIONS IN HERE?!?!

[–]qidlo 0 points1 point ago

I feel bad for laughing at this way too hard.

[–]GameDay98 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else read this in Tobias Funke's voice?

[–]Athene_Wins 0 points1 point ago

I remember watching one episode of Iron Chef where the challenger ripped two LIVE lobsters in half. I hate people that lack empathy. Psychopaths. I want to see THEM get ripped in half. I love vengeance.

[–]Mange-Tout 2 points3 points ago

People who love vengeance tend to be psychopaths themselves.

[–]strider_sifurowuh 1 point2 points ago

lobsters have no central nervous system and are incapable of feeling pain. They are basically giant ocean insects.

[–]baconforeveryone 0 points1 point ago

I lol'ed

[–]UNBR34K4BL3 0 points1 point ago

It's actually to keep the lobsters from cannibalizing each other in the tank.

[–]onelineoverthelot 0 points1 point ago

Rough day at the office

[–]WhereAmINow 0 points1 point ago

This one is gold, pure gold.

[–]jesterjared 0 points1 point ago

Lost it at a [6]

[–]Enzie1991 0 points1 point ago

The title made this twice as funny.

I also read this in a french accent in my head.

[–]Theorex 0 points1 point ago

Nope, that wristband was for deliciousness.

[–]iamthemindfreak 0 points1 point ago

this kills the lobster

[–]Crow23 0 points1 point ago

Aw,this is sad...

[–]hurricane658 0 points1 point ago

Read this in the voice of Milton from Office Space

[–]betan00b 0 points1 point ago

lol, man, just had lobster buffet last night and this made a little more funny than it shouldve

[–]Onlyhereforthelaughs 0 points1 point ago

Well shoot, I guess we'll be one short for the cancer walk next weekend...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

The band is to prevent the lobsters eating each other. No, really.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

He was just doing his part to save his crab brethren by supporting cancer rights ):

[–]theusualprospect 0 points1 point ago

I read that in milton's voice

[–]5rockhopper4 0 points1 point ago

Relation: Lobsters are picked up in a Katamari Damancy (I'm not Japanese, bad spelling) in a mission called "cancer"! I think it has something to do with the stars but I'm too lazy to back up my belief. :D

[–]mytwofavthings 0 points1 point ago

Wait, funny content on r/funny?

[–]Comment_Karma_beggar -2 points-1 points ago

I need some karma for dinner....You don't wanna see a redditor starve now do you?

[–]fuckthemusics 0 points1 point ago

as you can see, I stole karma from you. I'm an asshole.

[–]hat-dealers_goose -1 points0 points ago

I have never actually prepared a lobster where we cook the lobster after we kill it...

[–]MDSensei -1 points0 points ago

Oh. Ooh, that's so wrong. saves for eternal delight

[–]mimeismoney -1 points0 points ago

Wait, funny content on r/funny? What is this curious magik?

[–]iwannaiguana -1 points0 points ago

Oh look, a repost on the front page with 2000 upvotes

[–]pablothe -1 points0 points ago

[–]ReturnOfTheMoose -1 points0 points ago

This kills the lobster.

[–]yorgs -3 points-2 points ago

Ha, ha, I laughed at this, very funny.

[–]QuoterHorse -5 points-4 points ago

he went up to this blind kid and rubbed his eyes, and the kid could see. But he wasn't used to the light, 'cause it was bright, and he walked into traffic and was killed instantly.

[–]BUTTHOLE_PIRATE -2 points-1 points ago

Yoho yoho a butthole's life for me

[–]ArsenicAndRoses -2 points-1 points ago

This is why I don't eat lobster. It's just not worth it- yeah, it's mildly tasty, but you're:

a) Eating sea bugs.

b) Boiling the poor thing alive.

c) Paying out the nose.

d) It's messy as hell.

Plus, it's practically the very definition of overpriced nonsense.

[–]rustyburrito 0 points1 point ago

Dude this is literally the 9th time you posted that same exact link in this thread. Wow.

[–]lichlord 0 points1 point ago

It's fascinating and one of the best essays I've ever read. Mostly anthropological, the author does investigate whether the knife through the head serves any real purpose.