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Things that make you go AWW! -- like puppies, and bunnies, and so on...

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all 107 comments

[–][deleted] 111 points112 points ago

anecdote: i used to raise chickens and guinea fowl. guinea chicks were worth a lot more than regular chicks, but guinea mothers are terrible and the chicks were incredibly stupid. chickens are surprisingly intelligent at times.

it takes 21 days for chickens to hatch and 28 days for guineas to hatch. I'd set up batches to hatch at the same time in my incubator and let the chickens keep 2 eggs each. after the allotted time, i'd have my 15 chicken hens hatch 20 out of their 30 eggs. i would also have around 60 guineas hatch from my two incubators all in a 2-3 day time span

after a day of letting them dry off, i'd stick the guineas in with the chickens and their babies, so they could raise the guineas properly (teach them to drink, peck, and roost instead of leave them behind and fly into a tree, or lead them into deep water and watch them drown)

i had two dogs and they kept the predatory birds and animals away, and the hens raised the guineas really well. it was rare to lose a chick.

when the guinea moms raised their own, i'd lose at least 75% of the chicks.

tl:dr chickens will raise and mother anything and do it well.

[–]wintercast 22 points23 points ago

why are guineas so dumb? I have heard this from so many people. That and tha the guineas will lay huge swaths of eggs and then never care for them. Did we do something to the breed to make them dumb? Were they always dumb and on their way to extinction till we humans thought they were cool to have around?

BTW i SOOO want chickens. Just a few hens, but my housing area does not allow it. sighs, some day, someday i will have my hens.

[–]what_no_wtf 14 points15 points ago

why are guineas so dumb? I have heard this from so many people.

Domesticated guinea fowl are commercially brooded in machines ('incubators'). After a few generations this seems to make them forget how to care for their keets. I see the same in Quail, which I breed. Hens from incubator-brooded eggs tend to be horrible parents. So much so that I gave up on commercially available eggs. I have a few breeding-pairs, selected for good parenthood, to 'produce' new chicks. A friend, who breeds bantams (small chickens) confirms that observation. Incubator-brooded bantam chicks grow to be very bad parents.

Good parenting-instincts seem to be a genetic treat, and bypassing natural selection quickly spoils the gene pool.

I'm in no way whatsoever suggesting the same might apply for people.

[–]9ren 2 points3 points ago

Couldn't that also be nurture? I.e. incubatored chicks haven't learnt from parents.
If you incubate the eggs of your good-parent breeding pair (so they are never taught), do they grow up to be good parents?

If chicks need to be taught some skills by parents (as GP says), it seems those skills are not instinctive... so not inherited.

Also, if the bad parenting from incubatored was due to genetic traits (for rear vs. abandon), it seems to me that the chicks would end up with a range of parenting abilities, instead of being uniformly bad. The good traits would be diluted, not eliminated completely.

Perhaps yet another explanation is that incubatored eggs are low-quality in many respects, and bad parenting is just one way it shows up. e.g. it might be due to subtle vitamin deficiencies.

[–]vbenv 1 point2 points ago

what_no_wtf notes that this effect seems to occur "after a few generations"... that's genetic, no?

[–]9ren 0 points1 point ago

Yes, it would be, but from the word "seems", I think OP is hypothesizing. i.e. It sounds like a way of stating an explanation rather than literal observations. I don't get the impression OP has tested for this effect over a series of generations from several industrial incubators; but instead has gotten bad parenting from several incubated eggs - that's the data, it seems.

[–]pravacouture 3 points4 points ago

Omg you so are, and it is super accurate

[–]crazyHero1 17 points18 points ago

r vs k styles of reproduction. Like, humans care for their young but salmon just have a bunch and leave them there.

[–]9ren 1 point2 points ago

I wonder if some species have a context-sensitive style of reproduction, so when the living is easy, they use a salmon strategy (k?) with large litters/broods and devote little time to them. Not saying that the change is caused by a change in genes, but the same genes code for different behaviours in different situations.
Although, for humans, it seems the opposite: people/countries with more resources have fewer kids, and invest more in them.

[–]crazyHero1 1 point2 points ago

That is explained because families in poorer countries need more children to provide work, labor, and security in old age while the richer countries are developed enough that you can pretty much do that yourself. Even then, no typical human will ever reproduce in the quantities of rabbits or salmon.

[–]9ren 0 points1 point ago

hmmm... I think also, in the past, mortality was much higher, so people had to have more children just so some would reach adulthood. That sounds like a response to a dangerous environment, but the opposite of what I suggested. I've also read that people living in dangerous environments tend to have children much younger.

Because I'm feeling pedantic, I have to mention an exception I thought of to your last point: male humans with harems (and similar) do reproduce in extraordinary quantities (perhaps comparable to rabbits - though probably not to salmon!). True, certainly not a "typical" human, so I'm not refuting your statement. But it does seem logical from an evolutionary point of view that if a typical human male gets into those circumstances, he will utilize it - this argues that this context-dependent trait is typical, just its expression that is rare.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

guineas seem to not care about their young. they treat their chicks like they are fully grown (going up tall places, deep water, roosting in trees).

chickens tend to watch their chicks carefully and roost on the ground for the first couple weeks.

[–]GeneralBullshit 1 point2 points ago

May have to do with reproduction styles, you said guineas lay huge swaths right? The goal is that a few survive out of the many rather than all of them.

I've never heard of the term guinea chicks however I have raised chickens in my shed for a long time if that counts as expertise.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

the nests: i am not certain if they 'group nest' (every guinea hen lays in the same spot) or just lay a lot, but 2-3 times a year i would find several nests of 20-30 eggs in the field next to my property or the woods behind my property, enough to fill two incubators.

no one knows what a keet is, and i can't sex them so i can't call them polts/pullets, i just call them chicks.

[–]wintercast 0 points1 point ago

I have heard some folks say they think theirs group nest, as the guy i knew (that is always more than willing to give someone guineas) said he once found something like 100 eggs all grouped together and all of them were broken. He said the dumb birds would lay the eggs, then get in a tree and roost. So the eggs would get destroyed. If a hen did sit on the eggs, she often had her nest outside the safety of the farm yard and would perhaps get eaten by a fox. When the eggs did hatch, the mother would take them into stupid/ dangerous places. Like crossing the highway with them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

typical guineas, lol.

[–]How2WinFantasy 0 points1 point ago

Here is the wiki article about domesticated Guineafowl. It explains the nesting quite well.

[–]cafink 9 points10 points ago

My family used to have chickens we kept in a small coop in our backyard. We had a dog at the time and he got along just fine with the chickens.

Eventually, though, they chickens got to be too much work, so we gave them to my aunt and uncle, who live in a much more rural area and were already raising many chickens. One day, their neighbor's dog came by. Naturally, all of my aunt and uncle's chickens ran away, while our chickens, having been used to living with a dog, didn't recognize it as a danger, and got eaten.

And that's the story of the city chickens and the country chickens.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

yeah, i get messages a lot like that. every time i sold a batch, one or two of the buyers would get mad because a dog or cat ate the chicks/keets. they'd want a refund.

[–]mamacrocker 2 points3 points ago

You should tell them Sure, come on down for your refund. Then when they get there, slap them upside the head for being dumb.

[–]Mairghead 1 point2 points ago

I often teach an introductory class on raising chickens in the city and start with the phrase that "chicken tastes good to everything and you are in a predator rich environment."

[–]loveshercoffee 0 points1 point ago

I am raising my first flock of city chickens now. I lived on a ranch when I was first married years and years ago where we raised guineas so I know all about predators.

The number of people in one of our local urban chickens group that have lost birds to possums, raccoons, dogs, owls, hawks and who knows what else is astounding to me.

I want to partially blame places like Urban Outfitters for making people think their chickens will be safe in one of their flimsy though oh-so-trendy little tractors.

[–]Mairghead 0 points1 point ago

No doubt. My first year I lost a ton, mostly to my own dog. I taught my neighbors how to harvest chickens last week. We had a great time, but the wife swears she will never do it again, lol. The trendy thing bothers me because I don't think people know what they are getting into.

[–]loveshercoffee 0 points1 point ago

I've got a cockerel to cull on Monday. It will be the first I've done on my own and I'm both excited and anxious. I mean, I know how to do it but I've only ever killed and butchered fish before. It makes it easier, I think, because this rooster is becoming a right bastard, but I also went into this knowing that these are agricultural animals and not pets.

As far as raising animals for food (whether for meat or eggs) I think chickens are unbelievably easy but you're exactly right when you say some people walk into this without a clue. They're not that difficult compared to raising cattle but they're a whole world away from having a cat or house animals.

I see people all the time offering hens that've stopped laying or roosters for free on Craig's list. Much of the time they say things like, "Free to a good home," or "I want him to go to someone who isn't just going to eat him!" I just shake my head and hope the Animal Rescue League doesn't get overwhelmed with chickens.

[–]BoldAsLove1 7 points8 points ago

It took me until about 3/4's through your comment to realize you were talking about guinea fowl and not guinea pigs. Needless to say everything you said now makes a lot more sense to me haha

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

hahaha, oh man that would look hilarious. 15 guinea pigs under a hen, ha!

[–]BoldAsLove1 1 point2 points ago

Yeah not gonna lie I had a pretty hilarious mental picture going for a while there... almost as ridiculous as I felt when I figured it out. =P

[–]loveshercoffee 0 points1 point ago

It wouldn't surprise me, though. A broody hen will try to mother just about anything, including kittens.

[–]MelechRic 4 points5 points ago

Chicken mothers are super protective. As a kid I learned this the hard way. I had a friend with a farm and one day we got it in our heads to catch some baby chicks. (The mother was a free ranging chicken and she was used to moving her chicks around the farm.) Well, with a lot of effort we managed to separate and corner one chick. (They're pretty fucking fast once they're a week or two old). As soon as we had it in our hands the chick lets out what can only be described as a distress "PEEP PEEP PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

About .3 seconds later my friend and I hear a very angry, "BAW BUCK BUCK BUCK BAAAAAAAW BUUUUCK!" We turn around an all I can see is five pounds of angry chicken flying at us claws first. We dropped the chick and ran. That mother chicken chased us a good 30 yards before giving up and returning to her brood.

[–]radical9000 2 points3 points ago

Have you heard of the Hocco rooster? It comes from south america and was very praised when chicken hatching was a common thing especially in French Guyanna and bordering countries. Long story short it is a wild bird that once captured will run the poultry farm, roosters and chickens alike. They were able to spot predators in the air or on the ground raise the alarm, send every body to safety and fight! also he has the ability to count chickens somehow. As the farmers were free ranging back then, he would wait at the door that all have returned by night fall and go seek the missing one or two if need and punish them. Also it would never escape even on the first da of captivity. Fun fact?

[–]Haven 1 point2 points ago

I've got a hen raising 2 guineas right now! She went broody and hatched out a few eggs of her own, then we went and bought some day-old guineas. Her little mixed brood gets along pretty well! Crappy cell phone pics, but you get the idea.

[–]verteUP 1 point2 points ago

Look at those things. 2 of 2 shows how they are with bugs. They absolutely wipe out any pest insects (all insects for that matter) that are living anywhere near you. Its great.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

i generally lose 1 per hen, if that. out of 80 per batch, i'd lose maybe 10. i'd get around $450-$800 depending on the time of year, market, and weather. I've had a sudden storms and flash floods take out chicks, and twice i've had coyotes move in and kill a few before i killed them.

it costs me about $40 in feed and $40 in straw (chickens shit a lot) to raise them for the 2.5months this process takes. and it's less than an hour a day to manage them most of the time, 2 hours with newborn chicks.

the hardest part is finding the guinea nests and taking the eggs before getting scratched to death.

[–]Hereletmegooglethat 0 points1 point ago

How do you make money off of chicks? Just sell them to people?

[–]jayceay 0 points1 point ago

Anedote: Apple cider vinegar.

[–]naocarija 0 points1 point ago

Like THIS

[–]JustHere4TheDownVote 0 points1 point ago

Not only do chickens taste great, but they are the perfect mothers. Truly the best animal.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

i wouldn't go that far. during storms i have to take them into the coop if they already nested outside. they'd just keep laying until their babies drown :\

[–]JL_Silva 29 points30 points ago

Day 45. I've gathered the Chickens trust, she still doesn't know I am a dog.

[–]jamintime 14 points15 points ago

Day 49. I'm afraid I've been compromised. I have fallen in love with a local chick who has taught me the ways of the chicken. She has taught me way of interacting with other farm animals in ways I could have never imagined. Don't you see? Sheep aren't to be herded, they are to be tended to and respected as individuals! Pigs are more than just bacon, they are my friends!

The chickens have given me their trust, but I have given them my heart. Go harvest your unobtanium eggs from somewhere else or prepare to battle me and my new people to the death!!!

[–]digivolution 12 points13 points ago

Aww! I love momma hens. They're so dutiful.

[–]therejectethan 36 points37 points ago

The baby chick is like 'srsly mom. I want my turn'

[–]TheStatusBro 43 points44 points ago

This has gotta be one of the most reposted photos on reddit.

title comnts points age /r/
Hey Mom, I think you are confused 1com 51pts 1yr pics
But...that was my place 28coms 636pts 9mos funny
Confusion 23coms 1003pts 2mos funny
Mother hen 202coms 1073pts 11mos funny
Silly hen, thats not your baby! 3coms 82pts 1yr pics
If I fits I sits: Level poultry 9coms 382pts 3mos funny
I stumbled accross this while viewing a friends facebook 1com -4pts 14dys pics
What the fuck did I just hatch 0coms -4pts 17dys aww
What the fuck did I just hatch. 95coms 1456pts 17dys funny
What the fuck did I just hatch. 0coms 4pts 17dys pics
What the fuck did I just hatch. 1com 1pt 17dys WTF
WTF mom! 1com 11pts 6mos pics
You're going to be my new baby... 0coms 28pts 1mo funny
What about me? 29coms 846pts 5mos aww

source: karmadecay

[–]GhostPixel 4 points5 points ago

I know I've seen another with over 30 instances on karma decay.. if only i can find the link.

[–]fuckshitwank 2 points3 points ago

So karmadecay only works for urls? It really needs to mate with tineye or google image search to produce a fantastic bastard son of internet novelty-protection.

Or am I just getting it wrong?

[–]centech 1 point2 points ago

Did you go to karmadecay.com? You can upload an image or give the url to an image.

[–]fuckshitwank 0 points1 point ago

Aha, awesome. Seems I've been doing it wrong.

Somehow I'd tried it a couple of times with urls of images I'd been certain were reposts but couldn't get any results.

[–]GhostPixel 0 points1 point ago

you can also just select an image file and it can analyze that.

[–]Karl_Marx_ 2 points3 points ago

It looks like /r/funny is more generous to reposts.

[–]OhMaiCaptain 5 points6 points ago

With a greater sense of humour usually comes greater tolerance.

[–]Higlac 7 points8 points ago

I love seeing this picture four times a week!

[–]unername8888 0 points1 point ago

If I see this goddamn chicken one more time...

[–]more_fudge 2 points3 points ago

Biddy looks jealously..

[–]daisies13 2 points3 points ago

That got a high-pitched d'aww from me in a totally silent room.

[–]sirsparkylarper 2 points3 points ago

Baby chick be jellin.

[–]SilverElement 2 points3 points ago

Next time you eat at KFC, that might not be chicken....

[–]daznificent 2 points3 points ago

"Don't touch this, IT IS MINE"

[–]unicornon 2 points3 points ago

Sorry, OP, but most people's moms don't instinctively sit on anything available. Just your mom.

[–]aldude 11 points12 points ago

This pic is so old, both the chicken and the dog are long dead.

[–]MyifanW -1 points0 points ago

sick...burn?

[–]Stickfodder 5 points6 points ago

[–]soulteepee 1 point2 points ago

One of my alltime favorite photos. Mom looks so fierce!

[–]inebriates 0 points1 point ago

[–]Stee_B 1 point2 points ago

Hen - "Honey, I can explain!"

Rooster -

[–]okaythisisit 1 point2 points ago

That puppy's gonna be heartbroken when he learns he was adopted..

[–]syncratio400 1 point2 points ago

More like motherly HENstinct! Am I right guys??

Yeah I'll see myself out.

[–]Amori_A_Splooge 1 point2 points ago

I interpret this as a completely selfish act of the chicken. Think about it, she can either raise her chick, who will contribute nothing but maybe companionship to her life, or she can raise a fucking dog, who will pretty much make her the queen chicken because she has a dog under her control. Good move by the hen, shows real ambition on her part.

[–]bfogarty27 4 points5 points ago

[–]Sonendo 0 points1 point ago

I am glad this site exists.

[–]Olive_Pit 1 point2 points ago

Repost

[–]Viperbunny 0 points1 point ago

Must have been a painful birth.

[–]jbond66 0 points1 point ago

The look on this chickens face kills me hahahaha

[–]SubmissiveDawn 0 points1 point ago

You want to touch these? These are mine, I dare you to touch them.

[–]pythagoras_rex 0 points1 point ago

i was genuinely not expecting that... it startled me a bit.

[–]bearswithoutknees 0 points1 point ago

Smotherly instinct

[–]lexiz73 0 points1 point ago

That looks like a 'soon' face :D

[–]mrsbunez 0 points1 point ago

I love how chickens always look so indignant.

[–]deucesprecum 0 points1 point ago

Motherclucker done shat on me!

[–]shuaiw96 0 points1 point ago

if i had a penny for every time my mom sat on me...

[–]Nipe7 0 points1 point ago

Aw, she loves her adopted puppy children more than her actual child!

[–]1BadRobot 0 points1 point ago

Wow, that's pretty cool...

[–]Morningxafter 0 points1 point ago

HEY! Get outta my bed! >_<

[–]mdopoiex1 0 points1 point ago

jesus, repost much.

[–]Quick11 0 points1 point ago

That baby chick is like, "what the fuck mom?"

[–]befizzled 0 points1 point ago

That puppy is dead.

[–]BlueBuddy 0 points1 point ago

That chick's all like: "He's mine now ..." -Psycho face-

[–]nutmeg33 0 points1 point ago

She'll eat it later.

[–]wonderstruck27 0 points1 point ago

aww look at the little baby chick sitting there by himself :(

[–]bene22 0 points1 point ago

Mother of god-this picture is old!

[–]need_more_chaos 0 points1 point ago

The chick : "The fuck you doing in my seat"

[–]verteUP 0 points1 point ago

From all the time I've spent around poultry, that chicken has the crazy eyes.

[–]tootsiethor 0 points1 point ago

... or pillow.

[–]MummyHero23 0 points1 point ago

I was emailed this picture by my grandma roughly 3 years ago. It was cute then too.

[–]iiiitsjess 0 points1 point ago

So.damn.cute.

[–]chotix 0 points1 point ago

Chickens can be the sweetest animals if raised with care. I have 24 (fucking disease and coons!) and they are so adorable and love us :) plus, 20 eggs a day isn't too bad either

[–]pngn22 0 points1 point ago

It's because chickens choose the biggest egg because it will be the healthiest. They incubate that one most thoroughly, and it also carries over to post-hatching. They'll take the best care of the biggest chick. However, it does not always have to be a "chick", they'll sit on whatever is the biggest. So yeah I guess it's kind of "motherly instinct" even though it can bite em in the ass.

[–]SIRIceglobe 0 points1 point ago

The chicken look jealous

[–]ElKaBongX 0 points1 point ago

Oh chicken, you so silly. That's why I eat you.

[–]Aqir -3 points-2 points ago

[–]Johncarllos -1 points0 points ago

That bitch is gettin' laid.

[–]CtrlC_plus_CtrlV -4 points-3 points ago

A dog... That is a dog.

[–]uhmerikin 1 point2 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]trampus1 -1 points0 points ago

Two of my favorite things, chicken and puppies. I like to eat one and pet the other but I won't say which is for what.

[–]MyOwnSidekick -1 points0 points ago

First thing in awhile that made me really go aww =]

[–]radii314 -3 points-2 points ago

[–]joemangle -5 points-4 points ago

This kills the puppy