top 200 commentsshow all 490

[–]aceoftrachs 598 points599 points ago

"I kissed a ham and I liked it..."

[–]jakfischer 207 points208 points ago

♫ the taste of its cherry basted glaze...

[–]evoken1 171 points172 points ago

i kissed a ham just to try it, i hope vegans don't mind it

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

Its ok I don't mind

[–]Wut_Du_Fuq_Iz_Brunch 216 points217 points ago

Old joke: How do you know if someone is a Vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points ago

Haha! However in fairness I only say it when someone asks why I don't eat meat

[–]Chazzey_dude 17 points18 points ago

How many answers are there to that question?

"Why don't you eat meat?"

"Because I can't. My teeth are made of a very weak sponge and so cannot cut through most materials, such as animal flesh. I mainly eat soup.""

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

I agree completely! People just keep asking!

[–]Wut_Du_Fuq_Iz_Brunch 28 points29 points ago

I'm just fucking with you. Same goes for me. I'm a "pet rescuer". How do you know if someone doesn't have a TV, is a Vegan, or rescued their pet?

[–]notyalc32 2 points3 points ago

Or went to Harvard

[–]retrospects 1 point2 points ago

"The eyes of an angel..."

[–]ferebend 2 points3 points ago

The quotes around pet rescuer are alarming. I'm trying not to think of all the things a "pet rescuer" might be doing. I hope you don't own a Chinese restaurant.

[–]surra_day 1 point2 points ago

For some reason whenever girls have short hair, I ask them if they eat meat (in context of course). In downtown Salt Lake City, 9 out of 10 times they don't!

[–]TinctureOfBadass 3 points4 points ago

That works for a lot of groups.
How do you know if a guy is gay? He'll tell you.
How do you know if a person was in the Peace Corps? They'll tell you.

Edit: oops, just saw that you had followed up with this same basic thing. :-)

[–]swiley1983 16 points17 points ago

My friend made a list like that but I never read it because I don't have a Facebook or twitter.

[–]FurMother 1 point2 points ago

How do you know if someone doesn't have Facebook or twitter?

[–]justmarkplease 1 point2 points ago

I've got you tagged as vegan, expect pictures of bacon in the future.

[–]UnderDogs 30 points31 points ago

There isn't enough butter in this song.

[–]REDDIT_JUDGE_REFEREE 4 points5 points ago

♫ "It felt so right, but it was buttered wrong..."

[–]Aldermeer 9 points10 points ago

♫ "Like pulling my ass off of my old thong"

[–]drunk_otter 1 point2 points ago

butt-her, right?

[–]BLACK_SASSY_WOMAN 61 points62 points ago

DAMN.

[–]Blazingcrono 30 points31 points ago

Not sassy enough. 3/10 wouldn't call sassy.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

DAAYYYUUUUM

[–]offmychesticles 4 points5 points ago

HAAYYYUUUUM

ftfy

[–]Managua_Green 1 point2 points ago

Pretty damn sassy, giiiiiiirrrrrrl.

[–]Curdflappers 38 points39 points ago

wat

[–]Phoboshobo 10 points11 points ago

Well in all fairness, she did look a bit like Ms. Piggy.

[–]jabbid111 1 point2 points ago

But is it spicy?

[–]heyrebel 12 points13 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]mewtime 52 points53 points ago

[–]linkseyi 15 points16 points ago

So that's how babies are made?

[–]MarkSWH 1 point2 points ago

Only if daddy catches everything coming out of there.

[–]misterswarvey 1 point2 points ago

Hold on a second. This is a clip of a video of her's?

Cream shooting from her tits while she deepthroats one invisible guy and jerks off two others!?!

It should be noted I am only assuming she is deepthroating the guy in the middle. She might only be going cheeks deep.

[–]RedBarclay 1 point2 points ago

It's been three hours, why aren't there any dick shops yet?

[–]Tulos 108 points109 points ago

[–]WookieGoldberg 19 points20 points ago

Yikes

[–]Tulos 23 points24 points ago

ARE YOU NOT PLEASED?

[–]WookieGoldberg 10 points11 points ago

I am unhappily pleased by this.

[–]Godolin 1 point2 points ago

Un-boner.

[–]sakalamp 5 points6 points ago

mmmm scrunch scrunch

[–]Sweetrolls 4 points5 points ago

I'm aroused and confused.

[–]Epithemus 1 point2 points ago

I like this one better than OP's because it looks realistic.

[–]eyobromo 72 points73 points ago

She did a guest spot on spongebob

[–]red321red321 34 points35 points ago

SILF

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]anonymousrapeface 6 points7 points ago

2/10 would not bang

[–]Reesch 3 points4 points ago

Both of those points are for each boob.

[–]andrewsmith1986 27 points28 points ago

Don't even lie, you'd do her.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SweetNeo85 13 points14 points ago

I think this is what you're looking for.

[–]andrewsmith1986 24 points25 points ago

I feel like apostolatte has ruined the reactiongif reply

[–]willymo 10 points11 points ago

So wait, why does everyone hate apostolate? Every time I see him post he gets shit for it, but I have no idea why. He's essentially just another copycat of andrewsmi.... uh... you know, one of those guys that posts way too much and has a lot of karma.

[–]Curdflappers 5 points6 points ago

Apostolate

Just because if you don't know his name how can you complain about him

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]LiterallyKesha 5 points6 points ago

That would be either the Se7en guy or TIR, actually.

Reddit isn't so great at reaction gif replies because of the karma involved. Reaction gifs work perfectly with imageboards.

[–]wolfik92 1 point2 points ago

Who is apostolate and why I shouldn't care?

[–]strifeblood 2 points3 points ago

Basically a guy who started posting a lot recently and some of his comments made the top comment for some posts and now some people recognized him from upvoting him before or through RES and blindly upvote him. Now everybody hates/are annoyed by him because they see him everywhere. I personally don't see why Redditors get so mad at somebody posting a lot when most of it is relevant or at least funny. He never did anything wrong, but people find a way to hate powerusers. I just feel bad for him because he's very involved with Reddit (which people supposedly want instead of the silent masses who upvote crappy content everyday), is a nice guy and posts relevant comments.

[–]DontGetMadGetGlad 11 points12 points ago

[–]DLaicH 1 point2 points ago

Maybe, but I'd have to look at a picture of Larry David to maintain my erection.

[–]spiteface 18 points19 points ago

In comparison, we have an attractive older lady against a droopy young lady. I can't decide which one I prefer.

[–]Punkmaffles 12 points13 points ago

Attractive old lady.

[–]Newshoe 11 points12 points ago

It's the age-old question: Would you rather have sex with a mermaid with beautiful human parts waist up and fish parts waist down or visa versa?

[–]Mystery_Hours 24 points25 points ago

Who would actually choose fish top human bottom?

edit: As far as sex goes you still have mouth, hands and breasts, and you get to be with a beautiful woman instead of a hideous fish-beast.

[–]WONT_CAPITALIZE_i 13 points14 points ago

me willy did.

[–]oriental_lasanya 11 points12 points ago

I think I'd need some more info on what fish vaginas are like. Also, with the fish top...are we talking like piranha and shark teeth? Or some kind of sucker fish?

[–]Evilllamas 21 points22 points ago

These are important questions

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Armunt 1 point2 points ago

Fuck it, again i walked into GoneWild?

[–]sccrstud92 1 point2 points ago

Someone who likes vagina.

[–]brain4breakfast 1 point2 points ago

What're you gonna do otherwise, make her laugh?

[–]dukec 2 points3 points ago

Someone who wanted to get their dick wet.

...really, really badly...

...and who also doesn't like blowjobs...

I'm sure they're out there somewhere.

[–]ras344 1 point2 points ago

Who says fish can't give blowjobs?

[–]I_Kissed_Cereal 1 point2 points ago

My ex was a fish waist down.

[–]ContractionsAreEvil 1 point2 points ago

visa versa

I see what you did there

[–]Lawyer_Boy 1 point2 points ago

Two words: mermaid blowjob.

[–]combivent 28 points29 points ago

Shopped.

[–]WookieGoldberg 5 points6 points ago

I was thinking the same thing. Seems fishy.

[–]Reesch 4 points5 points ago

More like buttery.

[–]EminGH 1 point2 points ago

No, as a major in photoshop I can confidently tell you that this is not, in fact, photoshopped. The lighting and angle are purposefully altered to fool you.

[–]hungryhungryhipbro 1 point2 points ago

Nah man that's just Maggie Gyllehnaall

[–]CrankyOlBastard 127 points128 points ago

Finally, a literal Butterface.

[–]dmrnj 19 points20 points ago

BUHtterface.

[–]bluthru 24 points25 points ago

And OHLL.

[–]perverse_imp 11 points12 points ago

No, that is an actual butterface.

[–]factoid_ 1 point2 points ago

That's how the adjective "actually" is used, but "actual" is synonymous with "real" or "genuine"

[–]pogue23 5 points6 points ago

It's like if "Butterface" was a new Batman Villain

[–]STRING-WHERESWALLACE 2 points3 points ago

I can't believe it's not Butterface!

[–]WookieGoldberg 10 points11 points ago

Not literal.

[–]CrankyOlBastard 12 points13 points ago

You are what you eat. That is a literal butter face

[–]IndubENTably 1 point2 points ago

I'd still hit it and quit it.

[–]eyecite 1 point2 points ago

That's still a metaphor.

[–]Karma_Farm 31 points32 points ago

what face?

[–]exactomacto 3 points4 points ago

Haha, Kids Choice Awards.

[–]AsylumTeaparty 1 point2 points ago

That an appropriate shirt for the kids choice awards

[–]UtterlyB0red_ 7 points8 points ago

[–]Mazgelis626 14 points15 points ago

If you couldn't stop laughing, this isn't /r/WTF

[–]Tacozoid 8 points9 points ago

10/10, would bang her

[–]Excentinel 12 points13 points ago

As long as you're hitting it doggystyle...

[–]PlatinumToasterRape 11 points12 points ago

Then I'd miss out on the best part..

[–]bachooka 8 points9 points ago

There's nothing like a neck-gina to get you in the mood.

[–]Aederrex 4 points5 points ago

In the immortal words of this one guy I went to high school with: "She has a face?"

[–]whiteboywasted99 1 point2 points ago

Brown bag it.

[–]timechuck 2 points3 points ago

Hello creature of tonight's nightmare...

[–]TheFightingFarsi 4 points5 points ago

[–]Pasty_Virgin 17 points18 points ago

[–]deepfriedbutter 2 points3 points ago

[–]AsylumTeaparty 2 points3 points ago

I couldn't help but smile with him.

[–]theofficialposter 4 points5 points ago

3 sticks of butterface.

[–]guydude24 3 points4 points ago

I stopped laughing long enough to finish, as well.

[–]I_Have_Cigar 3 points4 points ago

Kind of looks like "Mom" from Futurama.

[–]BossDulciJo 2 points3 points ago

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! but don't forget to baste it about every twenty minutes with a mixture of butter and garlic...

[–]seamachine 12 points13 points ago

  • paper bag = YEP

[–]_deffer_ 9 points10 points ago

[–]FakeChowNumNum1 2 points3 points ago

Dat neck...

[–]cjs3 2 points3 points ago

Never before has a paper bag been needed more.

I wonder if only her face has diabetes...

[–]hoobsher 2 points3 points ago

[–]suburban_smartass 2 points3 points ago

I have the weirdest flaccid penis right now

[–]tapangameetsmywanga 3 points4 points ago

[–]Jeffro1265 5 points6 points ago

[–]erryday_IAm_rustling 1 point2 points ago

I thought Zooey Deschanel's face on Paula Deen's head was more subtly disturbing.

[–]Aj45 1 point2 points ago

Now the real question, which would you rather bang?

[–]Jeffro1265 1 point2 points ago

OH GOD...

[–]ofd1197 1 point2 points ago

Fap fap fap fap....oh, God. What am I doing.....oh, well....fap fap fap fap.....

[–]alecnunez93 1 point2 points ago

That was way more creepy than I expected.

[–]anusdestroyer2 1 point2 points ago

I'd fuck her.

[–]mybadalternate 1 point2 points ago

That's okay, really, I really didn't ever want to sleep again anyways...

[–]ShetlandJames 1 point2 points ago

If you fucked her, would you fuck a 27 year old or a 65 year old?

[–]SmokehTheBear 5 points6 points ago

46 year old if you do the math

[–]UncleTedGenneric 1 point2 points ago

And now, young Skywalker... you will die.

[–]soowanbag 1 point2 points ago

I'm getting a lot of Krogan vibe looking at her face.

[–]dunzy96 1 point2 points ago

[–]WearyMorlock 1 point2 points ago

Like Yoda she looks.

[–]laziestengineer 1 point2 points ago

I stopped laughing long enough to finish this.

That.... That's what she said.

[–]mikeydoodles 1 point2 points ago

paula sure has a nice rack.

[–]sconne10 1 point2 points ago

sad part is, katy perry's body is so tight...I'd still hit that.

[–]Iz4e 1 point2 points ago

Meh, a paper bag should do the trick.

[–]mikedt 1 point2 points ago

This is why they invented doggy style.

[–]sofakingclassic 1 point2 points ago

9/10 would bang

[–]Ryuuken1127 1 point2 points ago

Oh my god...I hate you so much. I can't stop laughing and I'm at work

[–]Overused_Gimli 1 point2 points ago

This is just no.

[–]QuietPine 1 point2 points ago

All I can think is "Shepard."

[–]mermaidrampage 1 point2 points ago

My god...it gives a whole new meaning to the term "butter face"

[–]astrokinetic 1 point2 points ago

she looks kinda like a krogan to me haha

[–]polishexperiment 1 point2 points ago

[–]Anynomus 1 point2 points ago

[–]brajx 1 point2 points ago

[–]TheChalbs 1 point2 points ago

Paula looks much butter...

[–]cherrychuckles 1 point2 points ago

PUT SOME SOUTH IN UR MOUTH!!!

[–]toxoplasma_gandhi 1 point2 points ago

Had to ram against the counter because i choked on my food laughing. I thought I was done for.

[–]TheyCallMeHumpty 1 point2 points ago

This is freakin hilarious and scary at the same time :D

[–]FriendlyVisitor[!] 1 point2 points ago

When I look at her boobs, I just feel.... wrong

[–]doctor_robocop 1 point2 points ago

Bravo.

[–]rickityrickshaw 1 point2 points ago

my dick is so confused it bent into a question mark

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Jabba The Slut.

[–]AllTattedUpJay 1 point2 points ago

It almost looks like a nutsack with a slammin body.

[–]andrewsmith1986 10 points11 points ago

This should be in the comment section of the original post.

[–]erryday_IAm_rustling 21 points22 points ago

He did that already, then went for the link karma.

[–]totally-unrelated 1 point2 points ago

[–]MassRelay 0 points1 point ago

[–]lolsail 0 points1 point ago

Absolutely gorgeous eyes - matches the outfit perfectly.

[–]youreuglyasfu 0 points1 point ago

sexy.

[–]thedevilsmilkman 0 points1 point ago

Yikes, that turned out to be nightmare fuel. I'd pay that hag to haunt a house.

[–]WookieGoldberg 0 points1 point ago

I like your bangs.

[–]Gullyvuhr 0 points1 point ago

Sweet bangs.

[–]BavarianHound 0 points1 point ago

Her white fringe is what makes this amazing!

[–]dirtyjersey84 0 points1 point ago

this is the stuff of nightmares...one's I'll probably have tonight guys...

[–]Squincey 0 points1 point ago

still would

[–]SmokehTheBear 0 points1 point ago

Gave me a genuine Lol, awesome job good sir

[–]ironpalm 0 points1 point ago

Presenting: the bastard love child of princess Leia and Jabba the Hut

[–]chasingsnow 0 points1 point ago

beyond amazing.

[–]SugarPlatypus 0 points1 point ago

I saw this and jumped a little. I didn't read the title correctly and just...mm. Nice shock.

[–]getcombowned 0 points1 point ago

This looks like a they brought a family guy character to life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Thats attractive...

[–]j2the4thpow3r 0 points1 point ago

That was gross... Lol

[–]wedontneedyourpuppy 0 points1 point ago

The Monster logo on the background did it for me.

[–]cobra_2109 0 points1 point ago

I feel so... conflicted.

[–]headwrong 0 points1 point ago

You monster.

[–]XJEB21X 0 points1 point ago

Oh my god, her neck.

[–]Fimbultyr 0 points1 point ago

I was going to call you out for karmawhoring, but you're actually the person who came up with the original. Carry on!

[–]iWishiWasClever 0 points1 point ago

Id still give her my stick...of butter

[–]mb86 0 points1 point ago

She looks disturbingly like Rosie O'Donnel, and I can't place why.

[–]reddit_connoisseur 0 points1 point ago

This is how I imagine a turtle looking if it became human.

[–]KingJaphar 0 points1 point ago

That is kind of scary.

[–]LordGurkis 0 points1 point ago

Old face and hot body, reminds me of skyrim bandits.

[–]phuhcue 0 points1 point ago

more butter!

[–]Hesychast 0 points1 point ago

I feel very dirty now for fantasizing about intercourse with a young Paula Deen.

I curse you with every fiber of my being.