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top 200 commentsshow all 450

[–]popyocherry 380 points381 points ago

I'm disappointed the mouse is not a car. Sigh, so much potential...

[–]nicxus 221 points222 points ago

But it has flames! Imagine how fast you can browse reddit with that mouse!

[–]TeBags 134 points135 points ago

Firefox is the default browser.

[–]OBEYthesky 30 points31 points ago

Obligatory chrome comment

[–]Jazzremix 68 points69 points ago

But Firefox has FIRE in the name! Cars with flamejobs go faster than cars with chromejobs.

[–]Spass_Mit_Hans 19 points20 points ago

Flamejobs and chromejobs both sound exceedingly painful.

[–]nintendofreak44 12 points13 points ago

[–]canuckfanatic 6 points7 points ago

I go faster with blowjobs.

[–]Apocolypse007 0 points1 point ago

If it were a mac it would go faster with stevejobs.

[–]complicatdparty 1 point2 points ago

I know there's a great blowjob comment to be made here. Anyone? I got nothing. I disappoint myself.

[–]Barboski 8 points9 points ago

Sucks to see a good blowjob joke fall limp.

[–]SoManyNinjas 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, but yours was a double whammy

[–]MetalDevil 1 point2 points ago

you can blow my chrome dick with fire? , sry bro, can't help you

[–]Happy_Harry 1 point2 points ago

Nah, giving the computer a blowjob might result in electrocution.

[–]wretlingrock392 1 point2 points ago

whooooooosh

[–]fack_yo_couch 1 point2 points ago

Not that fast. The speed-holes are missing.

[–]stalkingstalkers 100 points101 points ago

No worries, it came with a Steering Wheel and Pedals that went with the games that came in the CD case. One of them was Hot Wheels: Stunt Track Driver and the Steering Wheel and pedals (shown in that pic) were the only way to play.

It also came with The Oregon Trail, I think Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing, and...omg I just remembered this game that came with it: LEGO ISLAND. I played that game...so...much...I think I'm done here.

It was this or a SEGA Dreamcast for my birthday. They got me this...and it made my Childhood.

TL;DR: Hot Wheels gave me Dysentery.

[–]Kedarik 37 points38 points ago

You got this instead of a Dreamcast? Ain't that some shit..

[–]CrackedPepper86 24 points25 points ago

(Ain't that some shit.)

[–]Dr_Irrelephant 8 points9 points ago

[–]wills42 1 point2 points ago

It took me a minute to get it

[–]Bichofelix 3 points4 points ago

Shenmue was my favorite game for dreamcast.

[–]Sidence 40 points41 points ago

That's nice.

[–]DownvoteDaemon 4 points5 points ago

Jet grind radio!

[–]Cerfius 6 points7 points ago

Power Stone 2 with multiple friends after school = carnage.

[–]crookedtree13 2 points3 points ago

Shenmue was AWESOME!

[–]hexapus 1 point2 points ago

I like turtles!

[–]thatchelpage 18 points19 points ago

Stunt Track Driver was freaking awesome. I had friends who had this computer. They were adults who were married and had just graduated from College. This was their first computer.

[–]dipsnap86 31 points32 points ago

Lego Island was amazing. THE BRICKSTER IS LOSE. DID YOU GIVE HIM PIZZA, PEPPER? I felt so guilty...

[–]econymous 5 points6 points ago

You give him the extra hot pizza and then he breathes flame through the bars... Classic pepper

[–]lucentcb 1 point2 points ago

But....I thought the sign said No Pizaz!

[–]lanboyo 7 points8 points ago

You can play hot wheels with the keyboard.

[–]Sidence 8 points9 points ago

But why would you when you have a steering wheel?

[–]spgtothemax 13 points14 points ago

Fucking love stunt track driver.

[–]benjamem 1 point2 points ago

I spent so much fucking time trying to beat that course with the blacklights and stuff. Such a great game.

[–]chrislols 5 points6 points ago

That mother fucking bandit, who I had to deliver a pizza too on the mountain in my Lego car.

Also Tonka.

[–]OBEYthesky 2 points3 points ago

With the tool thing that went over your keyboard? Fuck yeah, Tonka.

[–]HotCarls 5 points6 points ago

No Secret Island of Dr. Quandary?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

This was my first computer! The Hot Wheels game was the coolest. I think it also came with Myst. That game pissed me off as a kid. I don't remember the Lego one though.

[–]KLAM3R0N 2 points3 points ago

HaHa Myst... I remember my Dad playing that, getting stuck and calling the 1-900 number for help......

[–]bachooka 1 point2 points ago

Mavis beacon annoyed the shit outta me, but I played Lego island like it was going outta style.

[–]Nightwing11 1 point2 points ago

stunt track driver.....oh man i had completely forgot about that game

[–]iamadogforreal 13 points14 points ago

Their budget included just custom dying the plastic. It doesn't look like they engineered any sort of new design. "Paint it this color and charge a 20% premium" must be a wonderful business plan.

Also bonus points for completely half-assing the CDROM color.

[–]BinaryGrind 3 points4 points ago

I'm pretty sure th Cd drive that is in it is a replacement. Mine was blue.

[–]marshmallowbob 1 point2 points ago

You can always get it here.

[–]100_points 2 points3 points ago

It's almost as big a let down as the movie Sunshine never saying "it's daylight saving time".

[–]Dag3rn 164 points165 points ago

This was my first computer when I was a small boy . . . it was also the first computer I infected with cartoon porn viruses.

[–]hidden_munky 38 points39 points ago

I would ebay one and mod it to run an s-atx mobo

[–]SickZX6R 19 points20 points ago

You mean microATX or mini-ITX?

[–]hidden_munky 87 points88 points ago

I mean whatever the hell fits in there

[–]DerivedGod 8 points9 points ago

It almost sounds like he wants an E-atx. No way it'd fit or anything.

[–]SickZX6R 1 point2 points ago

It'd be sticking out at least 2 of the sides.. :P

[–]PinguPingu 31 points32 points ago

first computer infected with cartoon porn viruses

We all know that feel

[–]BathofFire 6 points7 points ago

Ridiculous and amazing.

[–]likesgaythings 4 points5 points ago

Born to late to explore the Earth, Born to early to explore Space

Well that was surprisingly deep.

[–]Readinglevelup 1 point2 points ago

So, you infected a few more computers with cartoon porn after that?

[–]paraprosDOPEan 1 point2 points ago

I wanted one of these so badly as I kid. I cut out pictures and left them around the house for my parents to see around christmas time. I didn't get it tho. I did get this awesome 15 in one game table. pool fooseball table hockey basketball ping pong shuffle board and some other small games.

[–]CardboardHeatshield 54 points55 points ago

Crosspost this to /r/battlestations.

[–]tlease181 7 points8 points ago

[–]HooBeeII 2 points3 points ago

the only one that could get karma on both

[–]TuRbii 29 points30 points ago

My father will buy that computer off of you in a heartbeat. He's a hot wheels maniac.

[–]ap3xlabs 16 points17 points ago

It's on sale!!!!

[–]Upward_Spiral 3 points4 points ago

I love how it says "learning never looked so good" when there's clearly video game action going on.

[–]i_hate_hitler 193 points194 points ago

[–]down_vote_magnet 43 points44 points ago

I wish I had a mini pair of shades for my computer mouse.

[–]P3ngu1n48 1 point2 points ago

All you need is a black sharpie and a white mouse

[–]Fedexico 65 points66 points ago

I had this. It. Was. Awesome.12 years ago

[–]pxlhstl 61 points62 points ago

Tell. Us. Something. About. The. Specs. Would. You.

[–]Fedexico 54 points55 points ago

It is still lying around in my basement at home. I honestly don't remember the specs off the top of my head.

I believe the CPU was 333 MHz. 64 MB of RAM. 10GB hard drive space.

From information I gathered about these beasts of machines off the internet. I just remember I thought it was awesome back in the day and it came with a ton of free games, which was great.

[–]cookie_42 74 points75 points ago

10GB?

NO FUCKING WAY.

[–]stereoa 40 points41 points ago

One time I told my dad my mom got a 6 gb hard drive. He scoffed and replied, "Oh so that's what your mother is spending all the child support I send her on!"

[–]akatherder 23 points24 points ago

I remember having a 1.6 GB hard drive and my buddy's dad got a new computer with a 10 GB hard drive. I told him it was stupid and asked "How the hell could you ever possibly use that much space??"

Of course this was in the days of dial-up and no torrents, so it was markedly more difficult. And those of us who graduated from 80 MB (or smaller) hard drives were used to not having any space, so I didn't keep much of anything on the computer other than games.

[–]Warpedme 6 points7 points ago

I had pretty much the exact same conversation with a friend, when I bought my first 486 with a 40MB hard drive. His words were exactly yours "How the hell could you ever possibly use that much space??"

Then I ran a BBS off it and filled it in under a month. I ended up spending almost $1500 on a 1.2gb drive for storage for the BBS. Luckily that drive survived to my very first Pentium.

[–]mattindustries 2 points3 points ago

I spent 3 days on and off downloading Bryce... this was back during THE BEGINNING OF THE MILLENNIA! Seriously though, that 60MB kicked my butt.

[–]down_vote_magnet 36 points37 points ago

She meant another man's penis.

[–]TeBags 9 points10 points ago

There is a reason the floppy drive can't hold as much.

[–]SerfNuts- 24 points25 points ago

Shit, my families first computer had a 20mb hard drive an 4, THAT'S RIGHT! 4mb of ram. Now, just wheel me back out on to the porch... I think those neighborhood kids are on the lawn again... WHERE'S MY CANE!?!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SensibleMadness 1 point2 points ago

My first computer used cassette tapes for storage. My second computer, the one I used from age 10 to about age 17, had a full 1 MB of ram thanks to an expansion card that spanned the entire length of the motherboard. Its best feature was the two 3.5" floppy drives (plus one 5.25" drive!) so I could play games and save my progress without having to swap out the program disk for the save disk every time. That beauty, along with a dot matrix printer, cost $3,000.

Now, even the crappiest smart phone is about 1,000 times more powerful than that machine was. Technological progress is awesome.

[–]thedonkdonk 16 points17 points ago

  • Intel Celeron 500MHz
  • 10GB Hard Drive
  • 64MB RAM
  • 40x CD ROM
  • 56k Modem
  • 15" Monitor

The camera was 0.3 Megapixal.

http://www.vintagecomputing.com/index.php/archives/628

This will age me...

I had just gotten married and my wife wanted the Barbie version so we ordered it in October 2000. It was supposed to show up before Christmas. It actually shipped somewhere in January. They did send us a consolation Barbie doll just before Christmas.

This was the first computer I owned.

[–]GarththeGarth 2 points3 points ago

Classy.

[–]PlasticKiwi 14 points15 points ago

I think there was a barbie edition of this too.

[–]Cronus6 8 points9 points ago

Yeah there was

Christmas 1999 if anyone is interested.

[–]HeyItsOlivia 16 points17 points ago

Can we take a moment to notice the fact that the article says pokeman instead of pokemon?

[–]kaleoh 1 point2 points ago

Parents never understood.

[–]HeyItsOlivia 1 point2 points ago

My mom always assumed every pokemon was called Pikachu.

[–]WcJessen 1 point2 points ago

I'm a guy, and I'd actually prefer the barbie version. I don't know... it's kind of elegant as far as computers go.

[–]Cronus6 2 points3 points ago

I remember X-Mas shopping for my kids when these were out and seeing them at the store and thinking that the boys got kinda screwed since the Barbie one came with a camera and the Hot Wheels one didn't.

And yes they were the same specs and prices otherwise. (I also recall being surprised that they were only $600 with all that branding and shit.)

(I didn't buy one, I taught them to build their own instead...)

[–]pcronin 9 points10 points ago

Gut the case, put a new mobo/raspberry pi in it, and now awesome kids/guest browsing computer :)

[–]svinsko 10 points11 points ago

[–]BrandonTheGreat 9 points10 points ago

[–]mightgetdownvoted 28 points29 points ago

BEAT THAT

[–]Jonny_Watts 10 points11 points ago

HOT WHEELS

[–]BathofFire 14 points15 points ago

LEADING THE WAY!

[–]iamnoss 28 points29 points ago

It saddens me that emachines still continues to exist.

[–]balathustrius 12 points13 points ago

I have an Emachines keyboard that's still kicking after 15 years of daily daily abuse. I only just replaced it with my last build.

Took a minute, but I found a picture.

[–]newSalt- 7 points8 points ago

Think of what lay concealed under those keys. 15 years of dead skin cells and food particulate...

[–]balathustrius 5 points6 points ago

Nope. I stripped that keyboard down to component parts every few months for a thorough cleaning. Was surprisingly easy, though time-consuming. And it lived on a sliding keyboard tray, so was mostly covered when not in use.

[–]ineedausernameplease 1 point2 points ago

Why are you all so disgusting with your keyboards?

[–]Rainbow_Dosh 3 points4 points ago

My dad has an emachines, it runs surprisingly well.

[–]mattindustries 1 point2 points ago

So... full minutes before BSOD?

[–]RascleTrout 5 points6 points ago

Yeah we were one of two families on my road with a Mac when i was growing up. Nothing like bragging about having the same computer as Jeff Goldblum.

[–]Hoppux 6 points7 points ago

look at the mouse pad. why is it elevated at the left? isn't that annoying??

[–]theflyinderp 27 points28 points ago

IT'S A RAMP SO YOU CAN JUMP AND DO STUNTS WITH THE MOUSE, OBVIOUSLY

[–]degandl 4 points5 points ago

Dude, i totally had/have all of this shit, i even keep cd's in the cd case still. Shit was da bomb.

[–]thenewtomsawyer 5 points6 points ago

I love how they went through the effort to give the entire thing a custom paint job, except for the CD tray

[–]xor2g 2 points3 points ago

Came here to say this .. or at least a little blue cover in front. Would have really finished it

[–]Chris_Tehtopher 1 point2 points ago

It did originally come with a CD drive with a blue cover. The one I had also had to be replaced.

[–]DrPiDude 2 points3 points ago

*went

[–]thenewtomsawyer 2 points3 points ago

Dammit...thank you

[–]shangriLOL 6 points7 points ago

I won one of these from the inside of a powerade bottle wrapper thing at church came as a young kid in elementary or jr high school. I was SO excited, and so were my church friends, we all had seen the powerade bottles with the chance to win and had been buying those hoping for a prize.

Then either I lost my wallet or it was stolen. Never found it. One of the sadder stories of my life.

[–]Punkmaffles 2 points3 points ago

Church kids steal...

[–]HarrietTubmanFTW 5 points6 points ago

It's like its tearin' ass around the living room..but it's stayin' still.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/00/Carl_Brutananadilewski.png/200px-Carl_Brutananadilewski.png

[–]lewzerkid 2 points3 points ago

[–]dtech911 3 points4 points ago

166 Mhz of pure power!

[–]Doctalen 3 points4 points ago

I had one of these as a kid. I remember my dad bringing it home because we loved hot wheels. I want another one for the memory :(

[–]projectoffset 3 points4 points ago

The idea that someone grew up with this and in their later formative years used it for porn is somewhat depressing.

[–]TurgidMeatWand 1 point2 points ago

Not really, growing up I had to get used to masturbating in front of my action figures. So many innocent eyes staring at you while you defile yourself. If they weren't plastic I'm sure they would need therapy, this computer is just a bunch of primary colors

[–]zoso471 4 points5 points ago

Oh man, I remember seeing this as a kid, pretty sure that's when my balls dropped.

[–]Dominako 4 points5 points ago

I HAD THAT! It came with a game where you drove a number of cars with different stats around a house and you had to try not to fall off the track. You could also build your own track.

[–]CountFauxlof 2 points3 points ago

Stunt track driver.

[–]Dominako 1 point2 points ago

Thank you, over the years I just began to remember it as "that Hot Wheels game".

[–]fluffy402 5 points6 points ago

Knights of /r/buildapc, turn this into a gaming rig!

[–]Sanotter 6 points7 points ago

Oh. That. Floppy.

[–]potatonator 3 points4 points ago

Dat floppy.

[–]tide88 7 points8 points ago

Dat (A:/)

[–]mattgriggs 2 points3 points ago

I had one of these and the hot wheels wheel to play the hot wheels games.

[–]Tattered69 2 points3 points ago

There was an ad for this beauty that would run in the Daily News newspaper every week. I wanted it really bad so I hung the ad up on the refrigerator. I never got it though.

[–]compromised_account 2 points3 points ago

My buddy was. This computer rocked but couldn't handle much besides hot wheels games. Like he used it for a long time but wasn't bred to be upgraded.

[–]brosenfeld 2 points3 points ago

I keep looking to see if there's a Compaq Presario logo on there somewhere.

[–]alomjahajmola 1 point2 points ago

Haha, right? First thing I thought was that looks like an old Presario with it's ridiculous bulbous facade

[–]a_can_of_solo 2 points3 points ago

you could rebuild it, I would, drop in new mother board and stuff, swap the CD drive for a bluray or DVD drive, Don't know what you could put in the floppy disk but maybe leave it as is. I'd go one step more and gut the CRT and see if you can find a 15 inch LCD to put there.

[–]Undertow_Jambi 1 point2 points ago

But why?

It's a FUCKING HOT WHEELS COMPUTER

[–]a_can_of_solo 3 points4 points ago

... it would still be a hot wheels computer, see : grandfather's axe

[–]guder 2 points3 points ago

TIL

Thank You

[–]Leofan7 1 point2 points ago

I want to do this so bad. An Ivy Bridge Hot Wheels computer would be incredible. And for the hell of it, I'd keep the floppy drive hooked up.

[–]a_can_of_solo 1 point2 points ago

keep an eye out, not every one has thrown theirs away, I really want to do it to an old imac G3 my self.

[–]Texasbabymunch 2 points3 points ago

I volunteered at a goodwill. I was taking apart computers. I came across this one and when I took it apart almost everything inside had hot wheels on it.

[–]fastuscactus 2 points3 points ago

I knew a kid who had one of these when I was little. He was a dick.

[–]CtrlC_plus_CtrlV 35 points36 points ago

That computer probably runs faster than anything today, just look how many flames are on it!

[–]mattatmac[S] 22 points23 points ago

Make sure you get blue LED's, the red ones make your machine too hot!

[–]Gookslayer 14 points15 points ago

You kidding? Blue leds cause cancer

[–]pacoliketaco 13 points14 points ago

No no, thats the IR ones. so much invisible radiation.

[–]deltarob 1 point2 points ago

oh my god please tell me there's a source for that, I haven't had my dose of comedy yet

[–]Jonny_Watts 27 points28 points ago

How uncanny!

[–]johnnytightlips2 19 points20 points ago

This is a comment reposter, as hinted by the username

[–]copyandpasta 19 points20 points ago

Yeah, he and I go way back.

[–]firefeng 1 point2 points ago

Your name is better.

[–]copyandpasta 5 points6 points ago

How's the uh... paste doing these days?

[–]kdthunderup 1 point2 points ago

Putting the disc wallet in the picture is top notch.

[–]SDSKamikaze 1 point2 points ago

I just realised how everything has changed apart from keyboards.

[–]SuperMiles64 1 point2 points ago

Repost this to /r/battlestations NOW!

[–]debo824 1 point2 points ago

He's right, you know.

[–]Well_Armed_Gorilla 1 point2 points ago

RADICAL

[–]A-zure 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, I guess I can't... ...beat that

[–]roflwaffle666 1 point2 points ago

The flames make it go faster.

[–]Sterkenburg 1 point2 points ago

There's some more info here! http://pcmuseum.ca/details.asp?id=38398

[–]brentose 1 point2 points ago

I would love to see someone turn this thing into an awesome gaming computer. Monitor might be an issue I guess.

[–]Talfrey 1 point2 points ago

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Give me a month.

[–]MrOO5 1 point2 points ago

Oh the memories. I still remember playing Blue's Clues on this and never finding the third clue. I also remember it blue screening XD. I felt i had to get proof so i found a photo.
http://i.imgur.com/8OYMH.jpg

[–]Strika 1 point2 points ago

2GBHD!

[–]HipHoppin 1 point2 points ago

That computer looks so fast

[–]habadacas 1 point2 points ago

A number of years ago one of the labs i worked in had both the hot wheels computer and the barbie computer, when the test cycle was done someone took the hot wheels comp for their kid, however the barbie was left t collect dust. Every time someone called in sick, we would et it up on their desk.

[–]SuSpenc 1 point2 points ago

I'm not even going to try and hide my envy. I played Lego Island like it was my job. Lost it before I could finish it though :(

[–]peppy70 1 point2 points ago

Oh God, I had to work on one of these once. It's a tight fit.

[–]Swollendeathray 1 point2 points ago

That is begging for an upgrade. Throw a mini itx board with an i7 and a ZOTAC short gtx 670. Sleeper build. And paint the drive bay!

[–]Kai________ 1 point2 points ago

My first own PC was a mickey mouse PC. Way cooler.

http://i.imgur.com/Y3EFh.jpg

[–]bmward105 1 point2 points ago

I HAD THIS!!!!! I still have the cd case

[–]binary 1 point2 points ago

Glad to know that even 8 year old me is cooler than I am.

[–]Tak_667 1 point2 points ago

These came out in 1998. there was a Barbie one in pink too so your kids could keep their stereotypes straight.......

[–]annamai22 1 point2 points ago

My brother still has this computer. He's 21 years old. I don't think he's gotten laid yet.

[–]almightyfoon 1 point2 points ago

Must... resist urge.... to bring up to modern specs...

[–]sparky2212 0 points1 point ago

Thank god for that!

[–]ronflor 0 points1 point ago

Sadly true.

[–]TheBrokenNinja 0 points1 point ago

thats the fastest computer i've ever seen

[–]industrialbird 0 points1 point ago

OH GOD MY EYES

[–]goods84 0 points1 point ago

fuck, there was a witty comment to be said but it still birthed in my fingers.

[–]Hamerzzz 0 points1 point ago

That must run pretty hot with all the flames on it, it needs some liquid cooling.

[–]JRoch 0 points1 point ago

I think i'll be all right.

[–]Funi1234 0 points1 point ago

This is what I aspire to be!

[–]rlyns55 0 points1 point ago

That is the most chody computer case ever made.

[–]BavarianHound 0 points1 point ago

Do all of those flames make it go faster?

[–]Doh36 0 points1 point ago

Wow... Just Wow!

[–]Drawtaru 0 points1 point ago

Needs more Hot Wheels logos.

[–]killer5nake 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit I had that when I was like 11, came with so many games, shitty as fuck tho

[–]Finding_Myself 0 points1 point ago

I had the alluminum lunchbox.. Poppin mah colla at them othta kindergarden hoes

[–]imike218 0 points1 point ago

I had one of these. Good times

[–]jrtera 0 points1 point ago

Holy moly that looks fast.

[–]Person_On_The_Web 0 points1 point ago

He probably doesn't even have any racing games on that.

[–]America_Owns 0 points1 point ago

Of all the things I've ever wanted, I want this the most.

[–]Thor4269 0 points1 point ago

I had this! With the hot wheels car game installed too

[–]WombyMatt 0 points1 point ago

I have the speakers and the cd case!

[–]ProfessorCaptain 0 points1 point ago

/r/battlestations needs this

[–]GoAwayBaitin 0 points1 point ago

Compared to everything else, the CD ROM was that hard to paint?

[–]Garenzo -1 points0 points ago

Dat CRT