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all 85 comments

[–]headwrongManchester 99 points100 points ago

Nae fuckin aboot.

[–]sihnonLondon 33 points34 points ago

Sorry, I'm from London and what the fuck did you just say?

[–]doodlepuss 33 points34 points ago

I think he was questioning the manliness and quite possibly the heterosexuality of non-Glaswegian males.

[–]LildayLiverpool 18 points19 points ago

noh fackin abah'wt

[–]sihnonLondon 21 points22 points ago

Those aren't words.

[–]ilikenow 31 points32 points ago

I think he wants your wallet...

[–]ElRed_London/Essex 1 point2 points ago

Buncha' pansies up norf, they ain't got the balls

[–]mistergookeyEssex 1 point2 points ago

Too fah'kin right!

[–]doodlepuss 10 points11 points ago

Glaswegians don't use what we understand to be "words". Billy Connely likens them to dogs barking at each other.

[–]thesatchmoEssex 0 points1 point ago

Worst cockney accent since Marry Poppans

[–]WingchunbumWales 2 points3 points ago

I thought Bert The Chimney Sweep was Australian?

[–]jaynojUnited Kingdom 2 points3 points ago

I'm from London, Sorry.

FTFY

[–]Spamsational 1 point2 points ago

"no fucking about"

[–]lotsofsun 19 points20 points ago

Another fine example of how Scottish engineering is so beautifully chaotic and complex.

[–]dominikayakEuropean Union 35 points36 points ago

From r/poland, caption 'Polish minimalism at it's best': http://i.imgur.com/48uaS.jpg

[–]milpool90 39 points40 points ago

Huh. Thought this was going to be about the sandwich chain. Was sorely mistaken.

[–]balancedhighsBrummie in the South 35 points36 points ago

I worked in a subway once, I was spoken to by the manager for referring to our product as a sandwich and not a "sub" in front of customers.

So I stole a kilo bag of Southwest sauce.

[–]RetardVomitPussyCuntColchester, Essex 6 points7 points ago

Sticking it to the man!

[–]FullofAwesomeLincs and Cambs 5 points6 points ago

Thug life

[–]garethashenden 2 points3 points ago

You should have referred to the product as a train. See what he would have done then...

[–]sternslovchildEuropean Union 6 points7 points ago

[–]doodlepuss 24 points25 points ago

TIL: Glasgow has a subway. They'll be getting indoor plumbing and doors next.

[–]canard_glasgow[S] 22 points23 points ago

Third oldest in the world.

Edit: The indoor plumbing thing is actually quite interesting. The Glasgow Tenement flats, which are now very fashionable, were mostly done up in the 50s - late 70s to include thing like central heating and indoor toilets.

http://urbanglasgow.co.uk/archive/slums-of-glasgow__o_t__t_2165.html

http://urbanglasgow.co.uk/archive/the-glasgow-tenement__o_t__t_1481.html

http://gdl.cdlr.strath.ac.uk/springburn/spring066.htm

http://users.colloquium.co.uk/~glasgowwest/history.htm

[–]beavershawLondon 2 points3 points ago

This is the same for large parts of London.

[–]QdwachMDPolish Immigrant 3 points4 points ago

Still better than the Warsaw one.

[–]sjhillEdinburgh 6 points7 points ago

The Clockwork Orange - a braw piece of Scottish engineering. 3rd oldest in the world too, apparently.

[–]HerakGlasgow 15 points16 points ago

And the rail network, some of which is under ground and connects with the subway and it would look pretty similar to the rest of them, as well as the fax that that network serves less than a million people and the others serve around 10 million plus.

[–]SexLiesAndExerciseEdinburgh 11 points12 points ago

Yeah, I'm kind of amazed we even have a subway.

[–]SnoronBradford, 7 points8 points ago

I never knew there was one in Glasgow until this post just now! I actually had to look it up on Wikipedia as I thought maybe it was a joke that I missed.

[–]SexLiesAndExerciseEdinburgh 16 points17 points ago

Yeah, it gets the job done. Glasgow has a much better transport system than some other similarly sized cities (looking at you, Edinburgh). With a 15 stop subway, saturated railway coverage and a zillion bus routes you can't complain too much about public transport.

Just kidding, it's Glasgow. We'll complain about it all we like.

[–]ithika 4 points5 points ago

You are shitting me. Glasgow has appalling bus infrastructure. Thankfully the subway is there to take the strain.

[–]SexLiesAndExerciseEdinburgh 7 points8 points ago

The joke was that I am complaining about it. I hate taking the bus in Glasgow. Even Edinburgh's preferable with their 'no change' nonsense.

Though realistically, as bad as our bus infrastructure may seem to us, we've got it fucking well off compared to a lot of huge American cities and certainly a lot of European ones.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

As an American and a Californian, I can ask you in all honesty, what is public transportation?

*Idi Amin

[–]fourhamsScotland 1 point2 points ago

I've found Edinburgh's buses to be better (cleaner, easier fare system) but I do miss the underground and taxis are much better priced in Glasgow too.

[–]cb43569Fife 0 points1 point ago

To be honest, I love Scotland, but picking a particular place in Scotland in which I'd like to live is challenging. Things like the transport in Glasgow and the greater music scene make me want to live there, but at the same time, I'm not a big fan of their accents and sometimes I have trouble deciphering them. Edinburgh has the Fringe festival, which is cool, and the film, TV, and game festivals, but there are things I dislike about it as well.

Ah well, I guess it doesn't really matter. I suppose any of them will one-up my corner of Fife/Dundee.

[–]SybsScotland 0 points1 point ago

Game festival?

[–]cb43569Fife 1 point2 points ago

Well, it used to be called Edinburgh Interactive Festival, but now it's only called Edinburgh Interactive and it's focussed on conference sessions rather than game demos, but I still attend every year. I have it on good authority from one of the organising board members that this year won't be so great though (but don't tell them I said that). I've got a press pass.

[–]SybsScotland 0 points1 point ago

Thanks! I just had a look at the programme of events and I might try to go along to a couple.

[–]squigsBritish in Brussels 0 points1 point ago

Yep. With the rail network it's actually quite a good transport network for a fairly small city.

http://www.amadeus.net/home/new/subwaymaps/en/glasgow.htm

[–]HerakGlasgow 0 points1 point ago

All we need is a unified ticket system for busses, trains, subway and possibly taxis like London and it would be a lot better.

[–]almodozo 4 points5 points ago

I present the equally complex underground systems of:

Dnipropetrovsk

Copenhagen

Daejeon

Also apparently, until 2006, Beijing had just three subway lines, numbered, somewhat mysteriously, 1, 2, and 13.

Edit: deleted Chongqing, it has far more than one line, see comment by Cheeses below.

[–]mistermarsbars 11 points12 points ago

Don't forget Rome, although they have an excuse, given that every time someone digs a few inches into the ground they discover some precious archaeological site.

[–]dan2802Wolverhampton 7 points8 points ago

Put the word 'Chicken' in front of those stop names, they sound like Italian dishes.

[–]Happyhubby 1 point2 points ago

I LOVE chicken termini

[–]dan2802Wolverhampton 1 point2 points ago

It's got nothing on Chicken Garbatella though.

[–]Happyhubby 1 point2 points ago

Wouldn't work so well with Glasgow subway station names - "chicken ibrox anyone?"

[–]dan2802Wolverhampton 2 points3 points ago

I'm not so sure, Chicken Glasgow Central is right up my alley.

[–]Happyhubby 1 point2 points ago

You're thinking about the Blue Lagoon chippy there, aren't you?

[–]dan2802Wolverhampton 1 point2 points ago

I've no idea, I've never been north of the border.

[–]hlabarka 0 points1 point ago

I bet someone reading this had his/her wallet stolen at chicken termini

[–]EpicFishFingers 5 points6 points ago

Fucking hell Copenhagen, let's not get ahead of ourselves

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Actually that's just one line of the Chongqing subway, here's the whole thing.

[–]crdoconnor 0 points1 point ago

Uh, I visited the year before last and I swear I only saw one line (and that was above ground). I think that might be the map of what they'll build in the future.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Why would they have only one line and name it "Line 2"?

[–]crdoconnor 0 points1 point ago

No idea, but apparently they did:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chongqing_Rail_Transit#Network

As of last year, apparently lines 1, 2 and 3 are running. While I was there it was only line 2 and it went nowhere useful, but did have nice views over the river.

[–]hlabarka 0 points1 point ago

Its got the triangle that reminds me of prague. I think it was a communist thing. Moscow has several at its core as well.

[–]imRegistering2Wales 5 points6 points ago

Why is it so bloody warm tonight!?

Why am I so drunk? I'm looking forward to the olympics, lets have fun!

[–]EpicFishFingers 6 points7 points ago

You're not allowed to say that word though. It's "the big sporting event" :/

[–]Slattz 1 point2 points ago

Or, "Large Sporting event in the capital city in the year before 2013" if you are really paranoid!

[–]Benoit-Balls 1 point2 points ago

Paris looks like some terrifying alien monster, London looks like the FSM.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

It has a sub club and that's far better

[–]SnoopyChickenLeicester 4 points5 points ago

It's because all the train drivers are drunk.

[–]holamilush 4 points5 points ago

Big words coming from a simple land surface commuter...

[–]Mikerk 2 points3 points ago

NY looks like some guy getting a blowjob from a hobo

[–]fat_stigWiltshire 1 point2 points ago

I can see the blowjob, but the hobo?

How high are you?

[–]Mikerk 1 point2 points ago

Well the one giving didn't seem to have the hair to be female so I must assume it is a guy. Add to the fact the receiver is sitting down you could even go as far as saying hes on a subway, and since it's the map of the NY subway system it seemed fair to assume it was probably just a hobo.

[–]lasernancy 1 point2 points ago

Holy shit you're right. Can not be unseen, ha ha.

[–]Midlothianer 0 points1 point ago

Now do one for tram networks. Include Edinburgh. D:

[–]canard_glasgow[S] 19 points20 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/iN0oX.jpg

Represents the track finished so far.

[–]disco_jimUK 0 points1 point ago

to be fair they do have that loop they've been practising on for the last year

[–]samsari 2 points3 points ago

Found one.

[–]Frankeh 0 points1 point ago

NYC's subway is so neat.

[–]Disgruntled__GoatWorcestershire -1 points0 points ago

New York has the worst subway diagrams I've ever seen. Non-schematic, curvy lines all over the place.

[–]dumbkidLondon -1 points0 points ago

People in Belfast say they dont have a subway because their city is built on subterranean rivers, and all I can think is "Is that what they told you?"

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DrTurk 1 point2 points ago

...what do you have against my city?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]internethardman 7 points8 points ago

...sans wallet, having met a Liverpudlian.

[–]TweeSpamToken Scotsman 5 points6 points ago

There are more scottish oil rig workers than they are fishermen. Both professions, incidentally make huge amounts of money. I know groups of people in each profession and they're forever travelling the world every 3rd week off rotation.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]attheofficean office in Cardiff -2 points-1 points ago

Why is it then that whenever I see Scots fishermen on the news, they are always moaning? Is it because they could make even more money if it weren't for the pesky EU quotas/Spanish fishermen in our waters/another scapegoat?

[–]stuwildheart 0 points1 point ago

How often are Scotch fishermen on the news?

[–]attheofficean office in Cardiff 0 points1 point ago

Whenever the Common Fisheries Policy comes up for negotiation. I haven't seen them on TV for a long time now, so maybe things have changed.

[–]TweeSpamToken Scotsman -1 points0 points ago

Why is it then that whenever I see Scot's fishermen on the news, they are always moaning?

  • Because they are Scottish