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top 200 commentsshow all 359

[–]FenrirIII 256 points257 points ago

My wife is Brazilian. All her female friends are Brazilians. Brazilians like to hug.

I was boned.

[–]MrJamTrousers 189 points190 points ago

Brazilians like to bone. I was hugged. :<

[–]imabigsofty 32 points33 points ago

Hey no one said they were easy.

[–]MeLikeyBouncey 28 points29 points ago

But no one ever said that it would be so hard.

[–]Zodiwacts123 5 points6 points ago

Now take me back to the start!

[–]SHv2 2 points3 points ago

The one I hugged was hard. Can't remember his name though.

[–]TrepanationBy45 49 points50 points ago

?

[–]TanToeRocks 13 points14 points ago

You have no idea how hard it was to click this on my touchscreen.

[–]TrepanationBy45 10 points11 points ago

Try this one .

[–]ward85 6 points7 points ago

Worth the challenge.

[–]TanToeRocks 3 points4 points ago

Daaang

[–]TheAngryGoat 1 point2 points ago

Bad Luck Brazilian?

[–]reacher 20 points21 points ago

Bones like to hug. I was Brazilianed.

[–]LICENSEDANIMAL 2 points3 points ago

Hugs like to Brazilianed, I was boned.

[–]Untitledone 2 points3 points ago

Brazilianed I was not, but I got a hug and not boned.

[–]TheAngryGoat 1 point2 points ago

My bone likes to hug, so I had a brazilian.

[–]NaughtyDreadz 1 point2 points ago

as a brazilian, we love body contact, especially to hot bitches...

OP must be a mo.

[–]fykusfire 4 points5 points ago

Lucky you.

[–]bythog 1 point2 points ago

My ex is Colombian. They like to hug and kiss.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

I seriously wonder: did you notice anything in particular about their laugh?

[–]tossit3234 24 points25 points ago

HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE

[–]Gella321 6 points7 points ago

jajajajajajaja

[–]alcakd 10 points11 points ago

MORDE ES #1 HUEHEUHUEHUEHUE

[–]red321red321 1 point2 points ago

permaboner

[–]arksien 297 points298 points ago

Haha girlfriend! ...that must be nice...

[–]Le_Karma_Whore 187 points188 points ago

It is. Especially the sex.

[–]Lecks 114 points115 points ago

I want to hurt you. So bad right now. :(

[–]Le_Karma_Whore 44 points45 points ago

Your time will come. Get out there! Plenty of single women, just put on your confident face and talk to em!

[–]Articunozard 53 points54 points ago

About... like... Reddit? And video games?

[–]Sparkyyy 17 points18 points ago

I would love for a guy to talk to me about nothing but Reddit and video games...

[–]Chrscool8 20 points21 points ago

Careful what you say around here. Your inbox might be full shortly.

[–]Ron_Mahogany 3 points4 points ago

I'd fill her inbox. If you know what I mean. Sex

[–]TheNerdWithNoName 0 points1 point ago

Your inbox might be full shortly.

Yeah, and she'll probably get lots of messages, too.

[–]UninformedDude 2 points3 points ago

Brace yourself.

[–]lumpyspacecupcake 1 point2 points ago

Right? Awkward seeking awkward. Show me your memes baby.

[–]Sparkyyy 3 points4 points ago

[–]pool_of_dead 0 points1 point ago

No, no, you don't want them to talk about Reddit. Whatever he brings up, you've already seen it. Video games are okay, as long as he doesn't just expect you to sit there and watch.

Fuck that, give me a turn.

[–]Resentable 0 points1 point ago

WELL THEN

WASSUP

[–]LeFourthAccount 30 points31 points ago

probably doesn't help that you're obsessed with pokemon

[–]AATroop 19 points20 points ago

But they said that's what makes me a champion :(

[–]GlassSoldier 13 points14 points ago

catch her a Ralts, bitches love Ralts

[–]IAmAtomato 14 points15 points ago

I wanna be the very best

Like no playa ever was

To seduce them is my real test

To hump them is my cause

I will travel across the club

Searching left and right

Each bitch to understand

The penis that's inside

Bitches, its you and me

I know it's my right to thee

Bitches, oh, you're my best friend

And I'll fuck you in the end!

Bitches, a douche so rude

Biting the pillows will pull you through

You ride me and I'll hump you

Bitches, gotta fuck 'em all!

[–]mont94 2 points3 points ago

[–]IcedJack 1 point2 points ago

Actually... you'd be surprised.

Pokemon and Harry Potter (And probably the Hunger Games by extension) are pursuits that many potential girlfriends could appreciate.

That is if you're looking for someone you can actually hold a conversation with. I mean you need something in common right?

[–]Herpinderpitee 0 points1 point ago

What are you, crazy? How else is he supposed to catch 'em all?

[–]oniongasm 0 points1 point ago

Last time I woke in a new woman's bed she started talking about Pokemon cards. I was floored.

[–]iRape4Sport 1 point2 points ago

And porn.

[–]sbwdux 106 points107 points ago

Also make sure to put on your attractive face. Bitches love the attractive face.

[–]TheFaithie 19 points20 points ago

Also, make sure you remember that overall agreed upon attractiveness in society =/= attractive for a certain female. Sure, it increases your chances, I guess, but if you don't try, you won't find outliers.

A lot of guys don't understand why I think my boyfriend is a sexy beast, I guess mostly because he's shorter than me and a little overweight. But oh my god is he sexy. I like just staring at him sometimes because he's just so goddamn sexy and I feel like a giddy schoolgirl that I get to be with him.

So just because, as a guy, you may not think you're attractive, it doesn't mean all women think so. So just look your best and look until you find one. The only thing making your chance at success 0 is not trying in the first place.

[–]sbwdux 15 points16 points ago

I'm trying to loathe myself here, YOU ARE NOT HELPING.

[–]oniongasm 4 points5 points ago

Seriously,I can't believe how inconsiderate that was of her.

[–]smackson 2 points3 points ago

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take!! (--Wayne Gretzky?)

This doesn't console me that much when I've also missed 100% of the shots I've taken in the last 6 months: messages to about 100 okcupid ladies, plus maybe 10 in-person phone numbers received.... resulting (from these, my shots) inabout 10 first dates, a handful of second dates, two third dates, a little making out, and no sex.

Thank god a couple of other ladies shoot better than I.

[–]TheFaithie 1 point2 points ago

Even people who end up dating for two-seven years can end up with cheating scumbags and not realize it until they'd wasted a good chunk of their lives on them. If you didn't get further, then you probably aren't compatible, and you deserve someone you are compatible with. Being single is always better than being in a relationship you end up completely hating.

[–]omglia 1 point2 points ago

Omg, this. I'm never attracted to stereotypically hot guys, if that's all they have going for them. I'm ALWAYS attracted to guys who don't fit in that mold of what's considered generally "hot", but if they have an awesome personality and are fun to hang out with and talk to, they're sooooo sexy.

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 0 points1 point ago

theres someone for everyone.

[–]kgisaboss 34 points35 points ago

And be sure to call her beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful

[–]mastermoo420 42 points43 points ago

They also love being referred to as "bitches."

[–]Timmytanks40 2 points3 points ago

Its weird how that seems to be almost brushed over. Could you imagine saying that in the 90s?

[–]notcoolbrooo 11 points12 points ago

It's not common to hear that IRL. It's more of an "I'm anonymous on the internet, so I'll say whatever the fuck I want" kind of mentality that spurs these comments...

Also; vagina, ass, nipple, anus, feces.

[–]anotherlittlepiece 2 points3 points ago

Agreed. No guy out and about in the world has ever turned around, caught my eye, and said, "Bitch, vagina, ass, nipple, anus, feces."

[–]Dolewhip 6 points7 points ago

More than you'd think.

[–]fernng5 1 point2 points ago

Bitches love smileys, too.

[–]meow11 2 points3 points ago

upvote for the boondocks reference

[–]gaedikus 1 point2 points ago

and be sure to compliment her hair.

just kidding. you NEVER compliment her hair!

[–]redditors_are_homos 1 point2 points ago

Why? Is that something homosex people do?

[–]gaedikus 1 point2 points ago

have you ever watched "school for scoundrels"? it's mildly entertaining, and explains the bit about the hair.

[–]tyrghast 0 points1 point ago

Magnum or Blue Steel?

[–]pacoliketaco 11 points12 points ago

Bring her a leaf. Bitches love leaves.

[–]ubernood 4 points5 points ago

Cake. Bitches love cake.

[–]Smooovies 2 points3 points ago

Yousonofabitchbeatmetoit

[–]Lamar_Scrodum 1 point2 points ago

But call it a tree star. Bitches love Little Foot.

[–]themystif 3 points4 points ago

I just now got sick of people bitching about girls needing to have an attractive man.

There's more to it. Consider not throwing every female into a single category, as though they're a product.

--A not attractive guy.

[–]bricardo 2 points3 points ago

[–]Nortmobile 1 point2 points ago

Be attractive. Don't be not attractive.

[–]JTDeuce 3 points4 points ago

This sounds like one of those ads next to those porn videos I watch.

[–]Kalium 1 point2 points ago

Also the immune-to-emotional-hurt face. You need to be seen to care, but you can't afford to feel pain at rejection.

[–]ralgrado 0 points1 point ago

My confident face? ... ah got it. Aaaaaand it's gone.

[–]SofaCommander 0 points1 point ago

You don't know his time will come. It's entirely possible that it won't.

[–]Herpinderpitee 0 points1 point ago

Lawyer up, hit the gym, delete facebook. You're welcome.

[–]pasmeme 1 point2 points ago

As a single and sometimes lonesome girl, I feel your pain.

[–]SveNss0N 0 points1 point ago

How bad? Please, let me know, you tease!

[–]Lecks 1 point2 points ago

I will not let you know, suffer as I suffer!

[–]Sheeps 0 points1 point ago

You have interests right? Hobbies, activities, etc.? Go do social activities related to them for three months, go to gaming nights at card stores, join a book club or a biking club, anything at all related to those hobbies. Do this for three months and if you don't have any possible girls on your radar after that we will move into phase 2. Get back to me in 90 days with a status report.

Now move it!

[–]sloppy-jugs 0 points1 point ago

He doesn't actually have a girlfriend.

[–]athrix 5 points6 points ago

Haha sex! ..that must be nice... (I'm married)

[–]lunamatic 0 points1 point ago

You have my complete sympathy.

[–]IAmAtomato 2 points3 points ago

And the post-sex cuddling followed by the post-sex-cuddling post-sex. That's the best.

[–]rigadoog 1 point2 points ago

i think you messed up your hyphens because i am just staring at this.

[–]Lamar_the_Usurper 2 points3 points ago

this one month i got so much pussy i had to ice my balls

[–]jonnyrotten7 1 point2 points ago

Sex with the same girl over and over gets extremely old. There is such a thrill in variety. But whatever floats your goat.

[–]darkscout 1 point2 points ago

But what about my lost remote?

[–]jesuisaware 0 points1 point ago

What sex?

[–]Suecotero 0 points1 point ago

Yes... over and over with the same person for five years straight...

[–]GiantWhaleCannon 1 point2 points ago

Depends on the girlfriend. Trust me on this one.

[–]BigBassBone 1 point2 points ago

I've got the upgrade: fiancée. It's pretty awesome.

[–]polarbearsummer 35 points36 points ago

Mr. Bean? Is that you?

[–]i3igpete 63 points64 points ago

master's degree in electrical engineering - paid to act like an idiot.

[–]wookiepedia 17 points18 points ago

Have to say, Rowan Atkinson is an awesome man. Also, I envy his car collection.

[–]Black6x 0 points1 point ago

Especially since he apparently likes to crash them: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-14414889

[–]HalfRetardHalfAmazin 52 points53 points ago

My ex was Mexican; this was me with ALL of her Mexican and otherwise Spanish female friends.

When I got drunk, which was often, it was difficult remembering to bro hug all of them.

[–]DankBeard 27 points28 points ago

I think the head placement is wrong on the final segment of this bro hug.

[–]AGGGman 11 points12 points ago

It's the pull-them-in-and-threaten-them hug. Notice how the guy is noticeably concerned even though he was smiling before.

[–]n3hemiah 2 points3 points ago

Much too intimate.

[–]Herpinderpitee 1 point2 points ago

Hug it out guys.

[–]gnarlycharlie4u 3 points4 points ago

that's painfully awkward.

[–]SwiftJudgement 2 points3 points ago

Upvote for bro hug.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Hmm, otherwise "Spanish"?

[–]roeky 0 points1 point ago

im in mexico and have a mexi gf and the girls here do this kiss on the cheek thing for hellos and goodbyes. it gets annoying when there are lots of people

[–]dmxgrrbark 34 points35 points ago

My girlfriend would think I was an ass if I didn't accept hugs or kisses from her friends.

[–]GorgeouslyHumbl 45 points46 points ago

What? You didn't have sex with Sheryl and Tracy? I'm going to leave you right the fuck now if you don't have a three-way with my hot friends, you fucking douche.

[–]bluspart 6 points7 points ago

If I had a dollar for every time this happened to me. Fuck Sheryl and fuck Tracy. I wish I did...

[–]darkscout 1 point2 points ago

Looking to bang your girlfriend's friends? There's a subreddit for that.

/r/polyamory, /r/NonMonogamy, or /r/SwingCommunity

[–]giraffricanamerican 8 points9 points ago

Also, what moron distances himself from their girlfriend's friends? I consider them backup plans 1-5.

[–]wookiepedia 14 points15 points ago

Or at the very least, you can get your buddies laid. Remember kids, the world works on favors.

[–]Chinamerican 0 points1 point ago

My bf is an engineer and all my friends are SAP. We don't have problems.

[–]tacotaster 122 points123 points ago

Never say no to girlfriend's attractive friends hugs.

[–]leedorham 125 points126 points ago

Bring that shit in. Tight.

[–]facecube 60 points61 points ago

If you do it right, you get points from the friends for being a "good hugger"

[–]I-RAPE-CAT-RAPISTS 29 points30 points ago

Extra points if that is just a roll of quarters in your pocket.

[–]iammolotov 35 points36 points ago

Minus points if you have an issue of people confusing your dick with a roll of quarters.

[–]NittLion78 5 points6 points ago

They usually say it feels like a roll of Ritz crackers.

[–]Toof 13 points14 points ago

I felt it crumble under my weight.

[–]Gallifrasian 7 points8 points ago

Dude, I freaked out my girlfriend's friend once. I literally had a roll of quarters in my pocket when she hugged me. We just moved in and haven't bought a washing machine and it was laundry day. Just a bad series of events leading to a hilarious explanation.

[–]phsx 20 points21 points ago

I watched that episode of scrubs too.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 4 points5 points ago

I kept thinking you were just saying "girlfriend" and I was like why the fuck is this weird? your girlfriend thinks your boner is weird? what the fuck man

[–]theblackhole25 2 points3 points ago

Hold on, can you elaborate? If you had to have a "hilarious explanation" that means the friend actually called you out on it. How did she go about doing that? I would think most girls would just acknowledge it and just awkwardly ignore it. But she actually remarked on it? With your girlfriend there, I assume? Isn't that ridiculously awkward?

[–]Gallifrasian 1 point2 points ago

Yes my girlfriend was there. When she felt it, she gasped a little and hopped back with a "Oh shit, what did I just do" expression as she stared at my quarter bulge. From there, I just put the pieces together and laughed a bit before trying to explain.

[–]leedorham 10 points11 points ago

Right arm over left shoulder, left arm under right arm right below boob level, right cheek on right cheek.

[–]DrDragun 2 points3 points ago

Really? I go opposite. And wrap it in tight with a little hand pressure on her shoulderblades/lats too.

[–]leedorham 11 points12 points ago

I had heard that about you.

[–]darkscout 6 points7 points ago

Under both arms just below the bust line then big squeeze with hands clasp.

I have the magic touch when it comes to cracking backs. The first time is always "But I don't like my back bei..." crack. Huge sigh. "Again. Again."

You are now the go-to guy for back cracking and squeezing breasts into your chest and no one giving a damn.

[–]haltingpoint 1 point2 points ago

Actually, this is interesting--how do you know which way to go? Is it cultural?

[–]IAmAtomato 7 points8 points ago

"Oh! Something poked me!"

"Shh, shh, it's just my penis."

[–]palaxi 0 points1 point ago

Put it in the spank bank.

[–]stillalone 33 points34 points ago

make things awkwarder by looking at said girlfriend during hug and making your orgasm face.

[–]Herpinderpitee 1 point2 points ago

Otherwise how will you rub your half-chub on their thigh?

[–]OGbennyC 3 points4 points ago

This is true.. Jealousy makes the woman's heart turn into... Overly Attached Girlfriend

[–]DropkickMorgan 28 points29 points ago

And these are just from r/funny

title comnts points age /r/
When your girlfriend introduces you to her hot friends 2coms -7pts 16dys funny
When I'm oblivious to girls hitting on me... 1com -5pts 16dys funny
Meeting new women while with my wife. 0coms -1pt 16dys funny
Mr.Bean 954coms 2131pts 16dys funny
When a hot girl starts talking to me, now that I'm engaged... 1com 11pts 1mo funny
When my ex tries to give me a hug after she breaks up with me 11coms 675pts 1mo funny

source: karmadecay

[–]noirie 0 points1 point ago

eh 16 days should be seen as some kind of record

[–]4EYEDGENIUS 3 points4 points ago

I hate my girlfriends friends

[–]Niggish 8 points9 points ago

Someone PLEASE give me the source!

[–]crunchyeyeball 10 points11 points ago

It's an episode of UK TV show "Blind Date" - similar to "The Dating Game" in the US.

This was a one-off charity special featuring Rowan Atkinson (aka Mr. Bean), filmed in 1994.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_Date_(UK)#Famous_contestants

[–]SlimGuySB 0 points1 point ago

I'd have preferred to see Sir Edmund Blackadder on the show. Dashing, gets very sexy girl (narrowly avoiding bearded man in a dress) and then has her stolen by an old friend with smoke bombs and a massive codpiece!

[–]antibios 1 point2 points ago

Don't know about the source but here's a gif with sound

[–]IrrelevantLeprechaun 11 points12 points ago

also known as a video.

[–]Bobzer 1 point2 points ago

[–]mysticalmisogynistic 41 points42 points ago

Am I the only one who thought the girlfriend the one you're pushing away so her friends don't think you're together?

[–]KiwiWeed 11 points12 points ago

I did, now I'm confused...

[–]measuredinyears 2 points3 points ago

Yes, but your hilarious confusion will now amuse us all.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I'm sure your awkward hug will fool her friends who already know you're dating.

[–]minimang123 2 points3 points ago

Did you a word?

[–]rarrrr10 4 points5 points ago

I thinking the same thing

[–]Crawlerado 4 points5 points ago

I congratulate the OP on reposting and even shittier version of this gif. I demand lower resolution on the next one!!

[–]nebu7777 14 points15 points ago

3rd repost of the same thing in 3 days. This one is the worst version too.

[–]sultan_of_swing 2 points3 points ago

Is Mr Bean popular elsewhere apart from the UK?

[–]denisdl 0 points1 point ago

Yes, in Brazil.

[–]supersayanyoda 0 points1 point ago

Also in the U.S. and Mexico.

[–]QuigQuag 0 points1 point ago

Australia too

[–]jmaccadillac 0 points1 point ago

Canada as well.

[–]crombie77 2 points3 points ago

Are there more colors in this .gif? I can't tell with my CGA monitor.

[–]uncledido 2 points3 points ago

The full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLNhVC296YI

It was a sketch from 'Comic Relief' years ago - a night on BBC1 in the UK dedicated to comedy sketches in order to raise money for charity. Celebrities are always up for it (like Alan Cumming in this video)

[–]SpazHime 2 points3 points ago

You sir, just earned the respect of females everywhere. :P

[–]The_Real_Johnny_Utah 9 points10 points ago

I'm a hugger, I love meeting my SO's attractive friends... it's like a mini affair that's not only acceptable in front of her, it's widely encouraged!

In some instances, I have been escalated to a kiss friendly spouse! It's AWESOME! I'm also extremely in love with my SO, and they all know it. I guess this makes me less of a threat.

[–]MeNicolesta 1 point2 points ago

Why? Because you don't wana get to accidentally get too "handsy" or you don't want your gf to think your attracted? Why would you be stand offish?

[–]OmniaII 1 point2 points ago

[–]chickenlattice 1 point2 points ago

CILLAAAAAA

[–]DanniAQP 8 points9 points ago

So we went out one night and as we were leaving the bar, my husband hands her jacket to my very pretty (and very drunk) girlfriend. She then proceeds to say: "Oh you are so sweet.." and tries to kiss him on the cheek... That is exactly what he did. I was so proud!!!

[–]SwiftJudgement 11 points12 points ago

I had to read this 5 times.

[–]Natalia_Bandita 5 points6 points ago

i still dont understand it.

[–]Meem0 23 points24 points ago

I am very confused

my husband hands her jacket

my husband [...] to my very pretty girlfriend

[–]DanniAQP 6 points7 points ago

haha i'm so embarrassed... i can write better than that.. i can! i swear!!

[–]synapsesynopsis 2 points3 points ago

What she/he meant:

"So my husband and I had gone out for a night at the bar. As we were leaving, my husband hands my very pretty lady-friend (who was drunk) her jacket. . ."

[–]LeartS 2 points3 points ago

I think by girlfriend she means a female friend.

[–]bautin 1 point2 points ago

It is a very awkward sentence construction where he put the pronoun before the object.

It should be "my husband hands to my very pretty (and very drunk) girlfriend her jacket".

Edit: And girls usually refer to each other as their girlfriends. It's standard slang.

[–]sagivh 11 points12 points ago

will it hurt you so much if he accepted the kiss on the cheek? do you not even allow him to look at nice things?

[–]JewBear3 1 point2 points ago

You couldn't have at least changed the title?

[–]RefersYoutoEmptySubs 1 point2 points ago

[–]coowhipp 1 point2 points ago

It isn't nice to post a link to an empty sub-reddit, you had me all excited

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

R-R-Repost!

[–]ChappyKS 0 points1 point ago

It's even more awkward when its family members.

[–]redditdedditrevolver 0 points1 point ago

I prefer the one arm hug approach

[–]tsterbz 0 points1 point ago

Mr. Fuckin Bean

[–]Benderton 0 points1 point ago

It's a good thing my girlfriend has no attractive friends....

Fuck

[–]EvilJohnCho 0 points1 point ago

I always tell them to hug again... Now kiss.

[–]mentelucida 0 points1 point ago

Boy! Did I learn that the hard way.

[–]KountChocula 0 points1 point ago

Both KountessChocula and her sister have well endowed chests and her sister wears really provocative tops when she goes out. I find myself consciously forcing myself not to stare at her sisters boobs.

[–]stevieboy100 0 points1 point ago

my eyes are fucked lookin at that gif

[–]KelseyLeila 0 points1 point ago

Your girlfriend has trained you well.

[–]lucifer1343 0 points1 point ago

Aw, I miss Cilla Black.

[–]ProbablyVeryDrunk 0 points1 point ago

Oh, so it's cool if a kid does it, but if I put up a booth outside my apartment offering 5 cent brazilians it's "creepy" and I get "evicted"

[–]Mundum 0 points1 point ago

Up vote for Mr Bean

[–]newcomplaint 0 points1 point ago

I used to have a rather unattractive friend, who would always insist on me meeting her new boyfriend, although I never wanted to, and this is why: They would always break up with her soon after meeting me. She should have seen what was going on there. Felt bad.

[–]spartansheep 0 points1 point ago

no f'ing kidding.... had a gf dump me cause i didn't do that.