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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]hankwareagle 753 points754 points ago

the fucking leopard slugs make for better porn than these 2

Edit: My top comment is about slugs .... doing the hanky panky...... ill take it

[–]reply_w_moviequote 59 points60 points ago

LOL . . . HomeRun

[–]GRFatman 1343 points1344 points ago

Well, very few of us have actual photographic evidence of when we caught herpes

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]aahxzen 928 points929 points ago

They are just exchanging different versions

[–]sculptedpixels 378 points379 points ago

Herpes: The Mashup

[–]Newshoe 189 points190 points ago

2012 Summer's new romantic comedy: How HSV-1 Met HSV-2

[–]ybcuz 128 points129 points ago

Which will spin off into a 2012 Fall sitcom, How I Met Your Herpes

[–]Newshoe 102 points103 points ago

Then, that will spawn the 2013 webisodes of Dude, Where's My Valtrex?

[–]chemistree 24 points25 points ago

[–]3lue 6 points7 points ago

what is this 'options' watermark from?

[–]chemistree 10 points11 points ago

It's the name of the nightclub

[–]Gongom 3 points4 points ago

Jesus christ, what kind of fucking nightclub is this?

[–]AnotherBlackNerd 8 points9 points ago

Which inspires the series OutBreaking Bad starring Burn Crabson. All Hail The Cream!

[–]m_s_m 208 points209 points ago

This Summer... Rob Schneider is the loneliest viral disease since single-celled amoebas evolved... Katherine Heigl is the over-worked Herpes virus that just can't catch a break ... But they are about to find out... That sometimes... An HSV Type 1 virus and an HSV Type 2 virus can mix.

[–]TheBuddhistBastard 33 points34 points ago

Definitely read that in the movie preview guy's voice.

[–]GiantNinja 28 points29 points ago

[–]afganistanimation 10 points11 points ago

me too lol, "rob schneider is.... a schtapler!"

[–]THEPEA5ANT 44 points45 points ago

Herpes:Fully Loaded

[–]Beetrain 57 points58 points ago

It's like a game "Who will regret this most in the morning?"

I think she wins, by a hair.

[–]emcb1230 13 points14 points ago

just one? did you get a look at that hairy hand on her back?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

They are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.

[–]jaggazz 19 points20 points ago

Quick, let's leave, before the lights come on, 'Cos then you don't have to see, 'Cos then you don't have to see, What you've done

[–]BIFF_BAM_POW 1 point2 points ago

It didn't register for anyone that this guy is probably handicapped/deformed...instead of just laughing your asses off to make yourselves feel better?

[–]Snj824 874 points875 points ago

LOOK AT THAT CREEPY ASS HAND ON HER BACK!

[–]evoken1 275 points276 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]thisjacketisNOTblack 77 points78 points ago

is...is this, uhh a special peoples...uhh, a special persons night club?

[–]Krushchev 5 points6 points ago

I am so fucking glad you said it, so I didn't have to.

[–]80sjockreddit 43 points44 points ago

I feel like Blade needs to roll through this nightclub taking these ugly bastards out.

[–]SparklingClear 102 points103 points ago

[–]Snj824 91 points92 points ago

At least he can get the ladies.

[–]BigNil05 38 points39 points ago

This is my strong hand

[–]TheDarryl50 35 points36 points ago

What the fuck

[–]eno2001 216 points217 points ago

Hairy hand + JPG compression = AGGGGGGHHHH!!!!

[–]LobsterSaladSandwich 859 points860 points ago

it's like a nutsack with bones in it!

[–]Osmodius 157 points158 points ago

Oh that's, that's brilliant.

[–]thegreyquincy 97 points98 points ago

I laughed a little bit, then thought about it and laughed some more, then looked at the picture again and laughed more and then my boss gave me a weird look and said "I'm going to go to lunch."

[–]Osmodius 7 points8 points ago

I imagined it like a cube of bone, with the skin stretched over it, taut like a drum...

[–]thegreyquincy 16 points17 points ago

I imagined some kind of weird deformity, like when teeth grow out of feet or when some dude is born with a face on his shoulder.

[–]Osmodius 8 points9 points ago

That is equally unappealing.

[–]thegreyquincy 13 points14 points ago

For some reason I imagine it has a cockney accent and is a servant. In my head I keep hearing it say "More tea, mi'lord?"

[–]Koozey 6 points7 points ago

I've never actually gagged just looking at a picture before.

[–]Gortex9991 67 points68 points ago

That's a hand?!?!?! Oh gawd. Kill it with fire.

[–]aud_nih 135 points136 points ago

I think someone already did.

[–]SpookyTanooki 8 points9 points ago

BUUURN!

[–]Inpalethis21 16 points17 points ago

Kill it again!

[–]TapsMan 17 points18 points ago

Poor guys only has 4 fingers, including his thumb.

[–]DriftingJesus 37 points38 points ago

JESUS H CHRIST

[–]weaponode 265 points266 points ago

What happens in Vegas is usually followed with penicillin.

[–]GeneralWarts 157 points158 points ago

If only they had a cure for regret.

[–]knylok 20 points21 points ago

They have preventative measures. It basically comes down to consuming so much alcohol that you don't remember your evening. It is only partially effective, and works only on memories, not diseases.

[–]mistralol 12 points13 points ago

Until a friend posts the photos to reddit, facebook and twitter

[–]7yler 43 points44 points ago

Marijuana.

[–]SCarolina420 32 points33 points ago

Is awesome

[–]Jipalio 38 points39 points ago

I feel this is the part of the thread where I fit in.

[–]Richeh 8 points9 points ago

hah. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Unfortunately now if I ever go back to Vegas then I've got syphilis.

[–]CoughingZombie 377 points378 points ago

On tonight's episode of Gypsy Shore.

[–]this_man_loves_trees 18 points19 points ago

I was in perma-cringe during that whole thing

[–]tremens 40 points41 points ago

I've not watched any of this one. But I did watch a lot of the UK My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. It's actually pretty fascinating.

They have an extremely close-knit community, rife with these very old-world ideals and standards. The men never clean, for instance; only a woman should clean or cook. But it's also demanded of a man that he provide for his family and his community; a man that didn't was worthless. They place a huge emphasis on ridiculously extravagant weddings, cars, and such, but for the most part they all live pretty simply in inexpensive trailers. The girls pretty much all dress like complete whores, but actual sex before marriage is pretty much forbidden. Teenage girls spend a lot of their time trying to avoid being cornered by teenage males, because it's pretty much accepted that if a boy can get you alone you will be drug off and forced to kiss them and be fondled in what would be sexual assault in pretty much every other first world community in the world, and this assault was the beginning of courtship, which is difficult to stop once it starts. So the girls try to travel in packs and never get caught alone. One on one dating appeared to be highly frowned on.

They are also the victims of some pretty overt "racism." Town councils would deny permits for travellers to build or own businesses on a regular basis, repurpose property they had lived on for years to forcibly evict them, etc. The biggest recent stand off occurred last year Dale Farm and was the subject of a lot of controversy and coverage.

[–]antaryon 5 points6 points ago

sex before marriage is pretty much forbidden

Yea but that's not saying much. They get married around age 12-13 before they know what sex is. It's a pretty narrow window to have premarital sex.

[–]immerc 6 points7 points ago

What's even more interesting to me is that the "Gypsies", even the ones in England / Ireland have a culture that is largely based on the same Indian cultures that resulted in modern Hindu beliefs.

[–]tremens 2 points3 points ago

Yep, and often blended directly with the dominant religions of their host countries (various forms of Christianity.)

Most of what fascinated me so much about them was that it seemed so full of contradictions.

[–]RoscoeMG 27 points28 points ago

You can just feel the sexual tension. Sizzling.

[–]bleh19799791 13 points14 points ago

Britney Spears looks pretty hot in this pic. Her friend in the back ground licking her vagina fingers seals the deal.

[–]sram730 77 points78 points ago

This is what I imagine Reddit meetups would be like if they were at a nightclub.

[–]spiteface 134 points135 points ago

I have the same reaction looking at this as I do to looking at gore.

[–]mysteriousbacon 253 points254 points ago

You also got an erection?

[–]boogdd 192 points193 points ago

Et tu, bonér?

[–]FGWL 25 points26 points ago

None?

[–]smartzie 4 points5 points ago

Pure revulsion. Although I've seen some bloody pictures that didn't give me the heebie geebies like this one did...shudders

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ErikIw 25 points26 points ago

"hail satan", some people are just hilarious, haha.

[–]Lukas_13 7 points8 points ago

holy shit she ate Hopsin

[–]knowsguy 5 points6 points ago

Hail, statins!

[–]Alfredo_BE 72 points73 points ago

Seeing him from this angle, I'd say it's quite a feat getting some action with an average looking girl. Props to him!

[–]MrSnackage 19 points20 points ago

From that angle it looks like his left hand only has 3 fingers.

[–]Mixn0iz 35 points36 points ago

That would be his right hand, and it does.

[–]FredDorfman 14 points15 points ago

He still has options.

[–]gococks 44 points45 points ago

[–]giraffricanamerican 77 points78 points ago

So this guy has obvious physical deformities and people are making fun of him? I give that beautifully mutated lilliputian mad fucking props.

[–]afropat 80 points81 points ago

[–]measuredinyears 34 points35 points ago

It's not so much that the pictures are creepy by themselves; everybody has messed up pictures sometimes. It's that they chose these creepy pictures to post and slap their logo on.

[–]q1o2 21 points22 points ago

Options: the club I will NEVER attend!

[–]SPARTAKISS 2 points3 points ago

Options: A club for those who have none left.

[–]insi9nis 2 points3 points ago

Options. A lot of them. None of them good.

[–]KidDynamo0 21 points22 points ago

Well...goodnight everybody!

[–]xyphanite 30 points31 points ago

Well, the odds of getting some at that club look pretty good ... on the other hand, the goods also look very, very odd.

[–]kba334 54 points55 points ago

Let's remember that parts of the Australian population can be traced back to people not wanted in the UK.

[–]kelseyxiv 29 points30 points ago

I can't be the only one who just looked through the entire album

Edit: This is awesome - two guys got the tattoos from Dude, Where's My Car?

[–]JezusGhoti 9 points10 points ago

Everyone needs to click through that whole album. Perhaps the least attractive group of people ever assembled in a fairly upscale looking nightclub. Some huge douches and some very creepy looking people.

[–]HeathenBarbie 18 points19 points ago

DAMN AUSTRALIA YOU SCARY

[–]pocketboy 5 points6 points ago

I had the urge to post some of the stranger things I saw in that album but there are just too many.

[–]hereforthemoney 5 points6 points ago

I think that's actually kinda cool. Those sort of club photos usually seem to depict a homogenised view of hell so it's cool seeing him in those. Gives us all hope!

[–]shillerz 5 points6 points ago

[–]Briscotti 4 points5 points ago

After going through his public Facebook profile I feel bad for laughing.

[–]ronsterofMock 4 points5 points ago

Thank GOD it isn't a UK one for once.

[–]JeepDispenser 12 points13 points ago

What's with the cunnilingus hand sign everyone's doing? Is that an Australian thing?

[–]KallistiEngel 5 points6 points ago

That's the "two-fingered salute", similar to flipping someone off here in the US. It's not just an Aussie thing, they do it in the UK too.

[–]cjcolt 2 points3 points ago

Does anyone else feel like even the other guys in these pictures look like they're in the 90's?

[–]Kitty_Chef 7 points8 points ago

Does he have a simpsons hand?

[–]PaintWithCorn 2 points3 points ago

I thought "Options" was going to be a club dedicated to retarded people. Then I laughed and felt bad.

[–]lazysubtlephotoshop 114 points115 points ago

[–]AC5L4T3R 244 points245 points ago

I have a feeling this is from a club in England.

[–]russor 204 points205 points ago

As an Englishman, I can confirm this looks like an average Friday night in a local club.

[–]zxlk21e 144 points145 points ago

As a nightclub, I can confirm that this looks like an average Englishman.

[–]FEW_WURDS 160 points161 points ago

As a confirmation, I can nightclub an average Englishman.

[–]metalbox69 53 points54 points ago

And Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber is on the pull.

[–]trebro 44 points45 points ago

Australia. It was in my newsfeed

[–]ChristianD 16 points17 points ago

As the orginal poster of this image i can confirm this is aussie, and for the record not a nightclub, it's a tav!!

[–]TheAngrySheep 8 points9 points ago

Was in mine too, I'm in Ireland.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]A_CUNTY_DOG 27 points28 points ago

Jesus you fucking got me for a second.

[–]DONT_EAT_ME 39 points40 points ago

no, thats not food

[–]Turdtastic 52 points53 points ago

aalagalahagalahalgaalghalgh

[–]Polliwog39 13 points14 points ago

Pretty sure regardless of his possible congenital defects.... it appears from his Facebook page he does seem to have a life....and friends. So it may be fun and all to make fun of him... I'm pretty sure a good portion of those on Reddit have no room to talk. This guy has probably gotten more action then some on here.

[–]likely_story1 4 points5 points ago

This guy has probably gotten more action then some practically everyone on here.

FTFY

[–]superlumenal 487 points488 points ago

Options: where even a guy with Downs Syndrome can pull a 4.

[–]Khalkeoi 966 points967 points ago

He probably has "get down" syndrome...

[–]Andy-J 42 points43 points ago

trisomy twenty-fun

[–]turdferguson135 49 points50 points ago

The best jerry. The best.

[–]fireinbcn 86 points87 points ago

that's gold.

[–]lepasse 107 points108 points ago

I don't think that's Down Syndrome. It looks like some kind of syndrome, though.

[–]Lillipout 445 points446 points ago

I think he's just British. There is no cure.

[–]QAOP_Space 69 points70 points ago

Careful, sonny-jim m'laddy O.

[–]Richeh 46 points47 points ago

Very funny. Now tell us what nationality you are, you blaggardly coward.

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points ago

Easy now, don't spill your tea. I've watched enough BBC to know that the British are not an attractive people.

[–]iaacp 70 points71 points ago

Careful, you might make him show his teeth!

[–]Cpt_Kirks_Waffles 13 points14 points ago

HIGH FIVES FOR AMERICA ALL AROUND

[–]iaacp 2 points3 points ago

Fuck yeah!! FREEDOM BROTHER!

[–]chainmailws6 2 points3 points ago

I once came across a list of British pornstars and survived. AMA

[–]walruskingmike 7 points8 points ago

Atlantian.

[–]Houli 3 points4 points ago

He's Australian.

[–]Aquagoat 36 points37 points ago

I thought it was either Ephialtes or Gollum.

[–]PBXbox 43 points44 points ago

Both are well-documented syndromes

[–]Vertigo666 19 points20 points ago

[–]inivux 36 points37 points ago

Try a 2.

[–]Eurynom0s 26 points27 points ago

Depends on how drunk you are.

[–]akatherder 116 points117 points ago

A 2 at 10:00 is a 10 at 2:00.

[–]m1sser 39 points40 points ago

that's why they are called "2:30 dirties".

[–]tdrules 4 points5 points ago

Their eyes are like saucers and the gentlemen is wearing a glow in the dark accessory around his neck.

I doubt they're drunk

[–]Humble_Link_Guy 12 points13 points ago

[–]CuntyMcshitballs 17 points18 points ago

Says the redditor...

[–]magnavita 12 points13 points ago

Says CuntyMcShitballs...

[–]justfutt 39 points40 points ago

Hot sweaty meth-induced lovin'

[–]brokendimension 15 points16 points ago

It must've been the blue stuff, yo.

[–]SC2minuteman 7 points8 points ago

.... bitch

[–]meganod918 22 points23 points ago

I love the classy girl in the background

[–]jasontimmur 3 points4 points ago

Jesus, you just met her you slut.

[–]ArchChisUm 11 points12 points ago

(loud techno music blasting in the background)

"HEY!"

"WHAT? I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU"

"I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR LIP NOW!"

[–]smartzie 15 points16 points ago

More like inhaled her tongue....

[–]OrigamiOreo 10 points11 points ago

[–]kovalevskaya 4 points5 points ago

Great. Now I have a boner.

[–]dtmbcorp 42 points43 points ago

What the fuck is up with that hand?!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Sticky-Scrotum 13 points14 points ago

Wow, he really is deformed...

Huge amount of group reddit shame starting in 3, 2, 1...

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

Haha mock the deformed guy! We are so socially conscious and understanding.

[–]jmb1406 54 points55 points ago

Britney Spears keeps finding new ways to hit rock bottom

[–]haveacigaro 45 points46 points ago

By hooking up with Andrew Lloyd Webber?

[–]LowerThoseEyebrows 5 points6 points ago

They will rise from the ground and feed on the living.

[–]fartuckyfartbandit 89 points90 points ago

/r/seduction take notes.

Actually fuck it. Every guy take note. This guy doesn't give a fuck. This fine lad, isn't fit, not handsome, his hair is thinning, his hands are hairy, he doesn't know what french kissing is and only the romanian style he and his sister grew up on, but he saw a purple eye shadowed girl at the club he liked, and took what he wanted. He didn't back off and think this girl was too hot for him, or perhaps she would think what if she has a BF and other people laugh at me? He just thought, I am going to meet that woman and that's when the magic happened and she fed off his confidence and he her ass.

This man is a legend and a role model for all of us. If only we could all be so brave, and so skillful at game instead of the wallflowers we tend to be. Tonight when I go out, I will raise a glass for this man here. A true master of game.

[–]NameIsInigoMontonya 6 points7 points ago

Or, you know, they were drunk.

[–]procastinator4life 13 points14 points ago

Hats of to this guy,i am considered quite good looking and still cant get any action or even generate a reaction from a girl at any nightclub.

[–]Keitaro_Urashima 4 points5 points ago

It isn't about looks, only; confidence plays a huge role.

[–]teknoire7 10 points11 points ago

High off ecstasy and chromosomes!

[–]boomboxdino 3 points4 points ago

It looks like she danced into him as he was walking.

[–]Journalisto 4 points5 points ago

The guy on the right, creeping a creepy photo, is my favorite part of this whole thing.

[–]hknaven 4 points5 points ago

I'm not sure who won this picture..?

[–]wtfmanquestionmark 4 points5 points ago

This is why I don't go out to clubs. My wife loves going out to dance with her friends and I'm fine with that. I'll even drop her off and pick her up, but that is simply not my scene.

[–]3TREEE 3 points4 points ago

that dude has mad game

[–]fuego666 13 points14 points ago

[–]dioxholster 2 points3 points ago

wtf is that

[–]DemonSmurf 9 points10 points ago

Is that Britney Spears?

[–]planet808 8 points9 points ago

she kinda looks like peak-of-meltdown britney spears

[–]tweezyb 34 points35 points ago

I'm going to guess this is in the UK?

All of the gross nightclub pictures I've seen are from the UK. I don't think that the people there are uglier, just that they have too much confidence.

[–]Velingor 17 points18 points ago

What the hell am I looking at.

[–]dafones 68 points69 points ago

[–]LathaMath 2 points3 points ago

Was this taken in Dusk in Stirling by any chance? Pretty sure it popped up on my fb news feed a few weeks back.

[–]Mojito_Chill 23 points24 points ago

It Australia. A local shitty club in Perth.

[–]jessotopher 3 points4 points ago

basically what it always looks like when i try to kiss a girl

[–]derekdanger 13 points14 points ago

Awesome, lets all get together and shit on someone who is physically deformed and just trying to have a good time! Way to keep it classy reddit

[–]paulseagull 6 points7 points ago

Before he became the TOXIC AVENGER. Troma Films NEEDS to get a hold of this photo.

[–]Snj824 10 points11 points ago

Does no one see the girl in the background? Lol

[–]ServerGeek 2 points3 points ago

Looks like we missed one hell of a party.

[–]Timeillspent 2 points3 points ago

Took a good while for my brain to figure out what I was looking at.

[–]SplungeForMeToo 2 points3 points ago

looks a little bit like doug stanhope

[–]easyassundaymorning 2 points3 points ago

The most action his eyebrows have ever gotten.

[–]Reblejc 2 points3 points ago

I'm glad to see Britney found someone better then K Fed.

[–]jetreba 2 points3 points ago

I feel it's somehow inspirational in a very twisted way,

[–]SingleMaltWSKY 2 points3 points ago

Beauty is only a light switch away I guess.

[–]C_M_O_TDibbler 2 points3 points ago

HEEEEEYYYYYYY YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU GUUUUUYYYYSSSSSS I got to first base

[–]saucysaw 2 points3 points ago

It is called "Options"....

[–]MrPeachy 2 points3 points ago

I know reddit isn't some small club or anything but I usually hold the people from here to higher standards, people who aren't as openly judgmental.

Some redditors cry about "shallow" people who call some of them ugly. Some of them are about to find out that maybe they aren't that different from the people that judge them apart from having worse looks. Hey, I know every single person judges looks, it's in our nature, but at least don't be hypocrites and call those who judge you shallow when you do exactly the same when you find someone uglier than you.