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WTF

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1622
1623

we can both burn (imgur.com)

submitted ago by joshua936

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[–]Justavian 266 points267 points ago

"It's the strangest thing, sir - the fire actually seems to have started at the pull for the fire alarm."

[–]rmc330 90 points91 points ago

Why not kindly ask the spider to move? I'm sure if you calmly explained the situation she would understand, and be more than happy to move so that you could save the both of you, and her no-doubt thousands of egg-sacs that shes planning on laying under your skin.

[–]ThatStealthGuy 63 points64 points ago

(⌐O_O)

( •_•)>⌐O-O

(•_•)

Mother of God

[–]BA_Start 30 points31 points ago

The way it turns to look at you at the end is the best.

[–]commentsurfer 17 points18 points ago

That's nothing.

[–]M5Phalanx 24 points25 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/1yBqi.gif

[–]Bobsmit 14 points15 points ago

DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY

[–]apowsawce 12 points13 points ago

ABANDON THREAD

[–]i_drink_vino 7 points8 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/Zj5J9.gif

[–]SHITKEEPSFALLING 6 points7 points ago

My amygdala just burst into flames.

[–]commentsurfer 2 points3 points ago

I didn't know it could do that!

[–]Deadlyd0g 6 points7 points ago

I have requested her majesties navy for assistance. http://i.imgur.com/oCEAq.jpg

[–]LordCrakeHall 2 points3 points ago

OH MY GOD.

[–]Iron-Giant169 2 points3 points ago

welp

[–]JerBear5352 1 point2 points ago

I'm now thinking that there are spiders crawling all over me...so thanks for that.

[–]Elverlong 1 point2 points ago

OH SHIT OH SHIT, IS THAT A FUCKING EGG? THERE ARE A MILLION MINI SPIDERS POURING OUT FROM BEHIND. THIS IS MY SOUL, BASTARDS.

[–]Johua_faabiol 1 point2 points ago

The fuck kinda spider is that?

[–]commentsurfer 0 points1 point ago

Huntsman.

[–]Amahoney77 0 points1 point ago

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

[–]captain_vahjayjay 0 points1 point ago

All I could do while viewing that was utter multiple versions of "What the fucking fuck shit fucking shit fuck fuck fuck."

My ability to articulate was lost while staring into those massive, empty eyes. So many eyes.

[–]Headphone_Actress 0 points1 point ago

CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]Dvphone 47 points48 points ago

Oh look, someone who isn't afraid of spi- MOTHER OF GOD. THIS COMMENT MAKES ME WANT TO SHOWER FOR HOURS ON END.

[–]SBJhehe 9 points10 points ago

Don't worry, you won't even feel it until they start hatching, then it just tickles a little bit as the thousands of tiny legs scramble underneath your skin looking for a way out.

[–]meepy12345 1 point2 points ago

AHHHHHHH I HAVE TO GET A KNIFE BOW AHH!

[–]chcrouse 1 point2 points ago

alksjdusakjhf

[–]DoctorOctagonapus 7 points8 points ago

you're lying it's not true la la la...

[–]NEtKm 9 points10 points ago

My nightmares. All of them.

[–]meepy12345 1 point2 points ago

your scary.

[–]Swag_Daddy 0 points1 point ago

That escalated rather rapidly...

load more comments (5 replies)

    [–]Ionlywanttoinsultyou -1 points0 points ago

    Does anybody else ever start freaking out and swatting imaginary spiders off of every nerve ending that fires on your body when you see shit like this?

    [–]jimbolauski 0 points1 point ago

    You know how when most people fall asleep they have the tripping dream and wake up. I have a spider that comes down from her web to land in my hair. I have woken up my wife multiple times because I shot out of bed and started swatting at my hair. I would love to have the tripping dream.

    [–]HebrewHammerTN 114 points115 points ago

    I like the advertisement next to it.

    [–]Alascar 41 points42 points ago

    This is the only time I regretted having AdBlock.

    [–]ThePlaystation0 59 points60 points ago

    Huh, I've had adblock since before I found reddit and I had no idea imgur had ads. TIL...

    [–]Alascar 24 points25 points ago

    Before I had AdBlock there were ads like, "Does Justin Beiber have a crush on you? Click here to find out!". This is where I draw the line.

    [–]Mcflexington 32 points33 points ago

    Don't ask me how I know this but

    Yes, he does.

    [–]copyandpasta 11 points12 points ago

    I can confirm this. I texted the number in the ad, I typed in "Alascar" and "Justin Bieber"
    97% match! True love.

    [–]Alascar 12 points13 points ago

    .___.

    [–]MattBastard 6 points7 points ago

    So when is the wedding?

    [–]Alascar 11 points12 points ago

    ಠ_ಠ

    [–]cbs_ 2 points3 points ago

    imgur has ads?

    [–]Alascar 2 points3 points ago

    Yes, just the majority of us all have AdBlock, so we never see it.

    [–]johanbcn 0 points1 point ago

    I have adblock but reddit and imgur are whitelisted.

    [–]Alascar 1 point2 points ago

    I only have Reddit whitelisted. The ads on imgur aren't worth it.

    [–]johanbcn 0 points1 point ago

    I don't whitelist because of the ads, I could not care less about them, but to support the site.

    [–]cao-ni-ma 1 point2 points ago

    Reddit has ads?

    (⌐O_O) ( •_•)>⌐O-O (•_•)

    [–]kagebunshin 105 points106 points ago

    The self sacrificing voice I read the title in was priceless.

    [–]AsshatMcBallsasaggin 45 points46 points ago

    The title definitely made this. I laughed my ass off once I saw the pic.

    [–]MrxPeaches 5 points6 points ago

    You know how you flush a toilet handle in public places apply that to this situation.

    [–]Rivalfox 20 points21 points ago

    How the fuck?!...how am i going to slap my dick on the handle to get that lever to come down, let alone get it near that arachnid.

    That's how you guys do it right

    [–]Deadlyd0g 1 point2 points ago

    I use my foot.

    [–]m0h3k4n 1 point2 points ago

    So, just walk away without doing anything?

    [–]Yojimara 2 points3 points ago

    Yuck Foo.

    [–]Smooovies 0 points1 point ago

    Like Michael Caine

    [–]joot78 42 points43 points ago

    It's a harmless southern house spider, Kukulcania hibernalis. Female.

    /r/spiders for all your spider identification needs.

    [–]FreakingScience 19 points20 points ago

    As a Floridian, I can verify that these particular stereotypical looking spiders are pretty chill, usually live in places your fingers will never be, and are pretty good at making small webs that catch annoying buzzing things.

    These are the spiders that all those "Spider Bro" stories are about.

    [–]Layserboy1 20 points21 points ago

    Southern? Good... Good...

    [–]geetar_man 1 point2 points ago

    BAAAAAAD! BAAAAAAAD! We need to get those Southern shits to the North pronto!

    [–]dropthebombjesus 8 points9 points ago

    http://i.imgur.com/TSReR.gif

    [–]Layserboy1 14 points15 points ago

    NO! I'd prefer if spiders stayed AWAY!

    [–]Zapapplejam 0 points1 point ago

    Better you than us!

    [–]Zutasu 2 points3 points ago

    I think I'll move back to the north instead. Much easier.

    [–]Iamthewabbit 30 points31 points ago

    Noooooooooooooo! FUCK THAT! Get that useful information out of here.

    [–]ZaeronS 2 points3 points ago

    Oh hey cool, thanks, I get those in my apartment every so often, and now I don't have to freak out while I try to relocate them outside.

    [–][deleted] ago

    [deleted]

    [–]The_psychotherapist 1 point2 points ago

    Guys, he's a bug expert.

    [–]PumpingFE 4 points5 points ago

    Why the fuck is there a spiders SubReddit?!

    People are so twisted

    [–]morbidhyena 4 points5 points ago

    Because spiders are pretty interesting animals. Also, if you subscribe, you will gradually lose your arachnophobia, I promise.

    [–]attrition0 6 points7 points ago

    I'm still terrified of spiders, but I kind of miss /u/r_spiders_link.

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]TeLeaFF 0 points1 point ago

      umm key word, spider

      [–]wyok 0 points1 point ago

      I just got back from /r/spiders. I have to get this out of my system--

      NOOOOOOPE!!!!

      i'm still itching. shoot.....

      [–]joot78 3 points4 points ago

      But spiders don't itch -- they tickle.

      [–]wyok 0 points1 point ago

      But i'm not laughing.

      [–]joot78 1 point2 points ago

      Maybe you should.

      [–]DavidLA213 -2 points-1 points ago

      You see harmless I see black death. It must be incinerated

      [–]joot78 4 points5 points ago

      The difference is that your view is demonstrably wrong. The spider is not capable of causing death. Stop letting ignorance drive your attitude and behavior. Stop killing harmless animals and joking about killing harmless animals.

      [–]DavidLA213 -2 points-1 points ago

      Wrong I see that giant spider monster I am destroying it

      [–]joot78 1 point2 points ago

      There's no reasoning someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into, I suppose. Go on flaunting your ignorance, then.

      [–]musicnote -2 points-1 points ago

      I don't care what kind of spider it is!!!! It is a spider!!!!

      load more comments (2 replies)

        [–]Droost 51 points52 points ago

        Hmm. You have to push in the black bar before you can pull down, which would obviously vibrate the web and anger the spider. You MIGHT be able to pull the white bar down and squish it before it runs onto your wrist... maybe.

        [–]jblaylock51 16 points17 points ago

        I just don't think its worth the risk. Burn the whole place down to ensure its execution.

        [–]geetar_man 12 points13 points ago

        I don't know if burning the building will ensure the spiders end. We should just nuke the area. That will guarantee that spider's death.

        [–]cranfeckintastic 14 points15 points ago

        Or the subsequent radiation would transform it into a monstrous, fire-proof super-spider which would consequently doom us all.

        [–]geetar_man 11 points12 points ago

        Oh shit! You're right. Better just get a bunch of planes, bomb the area within a 1 mile radius, get a bunch of bulldozers, drop all the debris in the middle of the ocean. Then, we dig out a hole 50 feet deep in that 2 mile diameter. Then we need to fill it with water to create a giant lake. After that, we get a bunch of birds to scan the area for the possibility that the spider may still be lurking. It's costly, I know, but well worth the price.

        [–]cranfeckintastic 8 points9 points ago

        Indeed. Better safe, than sorry!

        [–]Jojhy 5 points6 points ago

        I've heard Mars has no spiders, I think we should move there instead.

        [–]FartingBob 3 points4 points ago

        Good luck hiring someone to drive a bulldozer over an area with known spider inhabitants. Not enough money in the world.

        [–]jblaylock51 2 points3 points ago

        I revoke my previous plan and am fully committed to yours now sir. Nuke it!

        [–]Earthbounded 11 points12 points ago

        Or you can stab it inwards with a pencil and have its corpse rot in that tiny crevice below the lever, forever :,)

        [–]bitch_im_a_lion 28 points29 points ago

        And then you miss and it starts quickly climbing up the pencil before you have time to react. Trust me, I know how this shit goes down.

        [–]jblaylock51 3 points4 points ago

        but think if you anger him... or if you do so happen to kill him and you find out it's one of aragogs children, what would you do then?

        [–]mirthless_smirk 1 point2 points ago

        Use a pencil? Use a broom handle!

        [–]Titanite_Sparkle 8 points9 points ago

        Chills man...chills

        [–]dirkforthree 11 points12 points ago

        The thought of that thing climbing on your wrist

        [–]nbritton91 2 points3 points ago

        We all know the second you get too close it will jump onto your face...

        [–]surra_day 0 points1 point ago

        Round-house kick the spider or use shoe as smashing/scraping device. Then pull!

        load more comments (1 reply)

          [–]LittleTillyFooFoo 15 points16 points ago

          Plot twist: Spider set the fire.

          [–]BigIrish81 0 points1 point ago

          ...an M. Night Shyamalan production

          [–]xyroclast 7 points8 points ago

          The "spiders are scarier than everything in the world" meme is not doing much for reddit's image...

          [–]knylok 22 points23 points ago

          BURN WITH ME!

          [–]Let_It_Bleed 10 points11 points ago

          That episode is creepy as fuck..

          [–]ineedateam1 1 point2 points ago

          but also very good

          [–]Let_It_Bleed 1 point2 points ago

          No doubt, it's probably one of

          [–]Let_It_Bleed 1 point2 points ago

          *my favorite Tennant episodes. Stupid phone..

          [–]skoolhouserock 31 points32 points ago

          Now who's killing who with fire?

          [–]Jickdiggler 4 points5 points ago

          THE FIRE WILL RISE BROTHERS!!

          [–]shineon23 2 points3 points ago

          Am I the only one who thought, "fire alarms don't prevent you from burning..." It's an alarm, not the only way out. A better caption would have been "well...they can all burn"

          [–]LazyDynamite 0 points1 point ago

          I was sad that I had to scroll down so far to see this. It doesn't turn the water on, just makes a loud noise.

          [–]pepsi109 12 points13 points ago

          100 Things I Learned About Reddit:

          1. Reddit hates spiders.

          [–]1bighiccup 9 points10 points ago

          No, it doesn't. /r/spiders welcomes you.

          [–]Lesbeanon 2 points3 points ago

          "No, it doesn't. Shelob welcomes you."

          FTFY

          [–]darklight12345 3 points4 points ago

          do not speak of that....do not speak of the Forbidden

          [–]Zutasu 1 point2 points ago

          Why did I click the link...? I should know better than this.

          [–]pepsi109 0 points1 point ago

          "Most of Reddit hates spiders."

          FTFM

          [–]Mr-Tiggo-Bitties 1 point2 points ago

          1. Reddit loves cats

          [–]christianwhale 2 points3 points ago

          1. starting a list at a number other than 1 is hard.

          [–]Simbamatic 2 points3 points ago

          Mother fucking simplex-grinnell. Installed the spider releasing pull station rather than the fire alarm pull station.

          [–]kevinproche 0 points1 point ago

          WE DID NOT!!!! We installed a spiderman station.

          [–]Simbamatic 0 points1 point ago

          Haha, so its a radioactive spider that bites people that come to pull the alarm? Clever.

          [–]Layserboy1 2 points3 points ago

          Just... is there another fire alarm?

          Where are the gardening gloves when you need them?

          [–]AgentNose 2 points3 points ago

          I have been designing fire alarm systems for 6 years and inspecting them for 5 years before that. The day I learned there are no ink splatter pull stations like the ones rumored to be installed in my school...I died a little.

          [–]The_psychotherapist 3 points4 points ago

          Some spiders just want to watch the world burn.

          [–]ToastyForce 2 points3 points ago

          Or a building

          [–]eddward 1 point2 points ago

          more like, "I don't care that it sets the alarm off, you're going down motherfucker."

          [–]Tarijeno 1 point2 points ago

          Whenever I see a reddit/imgur post about spiders, my legs start itching.

          [–]TigerBomber 1 point2 points ago

          now's the perfect time to pull the alarm. you've got him right where you want him.

          [–]mustbecrAZ 1 point2 points ago

          F that. i just killed like 10 black widows in you back yard with my flip flop. was freaking out for a week every time something touched me even slightly.

          [–]ahedderly 1 point2 points ago

          "I don't want to set the world on fire", but it's a hell of a lot better than touching that spider.

          [–]Shackleford027 1 point2 points ago

          Reddit makes me feel like not being arachnophobic means I'm some sort of goddamn superhero

          [–]adnachiel99 3 points4 points ago

          that is one of the most fucking terrifying spiders i have ever seen. would rather jump out a 5 story window

          [–]PhotoGladiator 1 point2 points ago

          But if you activated it, you would kill the spider. The pull down bar would squish him.

          [–]MadroxKran 13 points14 points ago

          Are you willing to get that close? What if it jumps on you?!

          [–]come_the_dawn -1 points0 points ago

          Isn't that the issue?

          [–]Re-Bone 1 point2 points ago

          Spider, I like the cut of your jib!

          [–]ASacredCow 1 point2 points ago

          Pull it to kill the spider before another Redditor finds it and burns the whole place down!

          [–]kutNpaste 1 point2 points ago

          Lighter+hairspray = only way I kill crawlies

          [–]KickAssCommie 5 points6 points ago

          There are scorch marks on my office wall and ceiling due to this... It was necessary.

          [–]Sprechensiedeustch 0 points1 point ago

          Output stage of an opamp whatwhat

          [–]Earthbounded 0 points1 point ago

          I don't think I could bring myself to pull that alarm... There's like spider jizz everywhere.

          [–]nraustinii 0 points1 point ago

          Basement of Worner Student Center by any chance? The paint looks familiar.

          [–]ryannayr140 0 points1 point ago

          That moment when A link is purple and I just got on for the day. (It's a repost)

          [–]ToastyForce 0 points1 point ago

          "FINISH HIM"

          [–]madusa77 0 points1 point ago

          Ick Ick Ick

          [–]on_the_redpill 0 points1 point ago

          Or you could just leave the building w/o pulling the alarm.

          Better than burning

          [–]philistic53 0 points1 point ago

          Dats one dem brown calooses.

          [–]z_master314 0 points1 point ago

          He looks like the guy from the TED talk about mobile phone privacy.

          [–]Ghostdemon 0 points1 point ago

          Now that I think about it, dying in a fire doesn't seem that bad

          [–]Finding_Myself 0 points1 point ago

          lol. nice fake pic

          [–]AkronPuss 0 points1 point ago

          NERP!

          [–]m477h3w777 0 points1 point ago

          has anyone else noticed the black widow hourglass in the company logo? maybe the spider was confused

          [–]Tajer1388 0 points1 point ago

          Best part is the manufacturers name!

          [–]eire1228 0 points1 point ago

          Armageddon!

          [–]AliasUndercover 0 points1 point ago

          Too many false alarms?

          [–]SPAZZEH 0 points1 point ago

          On second thought.... You can all die....

          [–]ResoL101 0 points1 point ago

          R.J. MacReady agrees with your tactics.

          [–]atvrider 0 points1 point ago

          You do realize that pulling down would smash the spider right?

          [–]Shogun24 0 points1 point ago

          We don't want to touch them, look at them, get ONE fucking spider hair on our bodies. They are abominations. I'd let a cockroach run around my face before letting a spider like that come 5 feet to me.

          [–]DutchMeteor 0 points1 point ago

          you obviously didn't see the size of some cockroaches we have here shudders

          and oh, they fly too.. shudders more

          [–]hawthornehoots 0 points1 point ago

          I second that motion. All in favor to have roaches run on our faces to get all spiders removed from earth? I's from all it's settled then.

          [–]derrida_n_shit 0 points1 point ago

          Douse myself in gasoline. We're all burning today.

          [–]CFGX 0 points1 point ago

          Funny. Clever title. Not WTF.

          [–]hippybag 0 points1 point ago

          I feel like it's ON me!!! UNGHHH

          [–]Rykleos 0 points1 point ago

          Find another trigger? They have multiple, you know.

          [–]thascarecro 0 points1 point ago

          Aww fuck it. Let them all burn.

          [–]northendtrooper 0 points1 point ago

          Now just imagine that there is a spider nest full of thousands of baby spiders behind that tab. So even if you muster up the courage to pull it.....

          [–]Anathema47 0 points1 point ago

          All I can think is how this is such a Temple of Doom situation.

          [–]SLeepdepD 0 points1 point ago

          What kind of spider is that?

          [–]essar612 0 points1 point ago

          Im laughing out loud.

          [–]Allro526 0 points1 point ago

          Kill it with fire! Then you have a conveniently place fire alarm.

          [–]FreeTopher 0 points1 point ago

          Pull the alarm, he is waiting.

          [–]smoking_pessimist 0 points1 point ago

          Aw, fuck.

          [–]snip3rm00n 0 points1 point ago

          Death by fire, no problem.

          Pulling the fire alarm that's guarded by a spider... Aw hell no!

          [–]ttboo 0 points1 point ago

          Well Spider, I believe we have reached an impasse... If this building goes down, we go with it...

          [–]pulezan 0 points1 point ago

          THIS.IS.A.FUCKING.SPIDER. It's not WTF. what's wrong with you people?

          [–]i3igpete -1 points0 points ago

          STOP POSTING TINY SPIDERS TO WTF

          [–][deleted] ago

          [deleted]

          [–]gnomestress 9 points10 points ago

          That is such a waste. Garden gloves, a cup, a piece of paper, and whatever shreds of dignity the OP has left should be enough to relocate the spider to a safer place. Calling the non emergency line for something as minor as a spider is silly. Calling an exterminator is even worse.

          Note: None of the above applies if the OP lives in Australia. In case of Aussie spiders vacate the building immediately and burn it to the ground. Call your loved ones in case the spider has survived and crawls out of the ashes like the Terminator bent on revenge and eating your liquefied insides

          [–][deleted] ago

          [deleted]

          [–]gnomestress 0 points1 point ago

          Ha! I missed that one. I get the joke now.

          Edit: The Aussie spiders are on to you. They're waiting, everywhere. O_O Australia: No, seriously, don't fuck with the spiders.

          [–]t_j_k -1 points0 points ago

          This is not "What the fuck" material.

          [–]DufusGuy -1 points0 points ago

          They make it sound so simple.

          [–]garop7g -2 points-1 points ago

          phhht. one smack from my flipflop and the scarey spider is dead. no big whoop.

          [–]Havoc_101 0 points1 point ago

          TRWTF is that you wear flipflops. :)

          [–]repoman -1 points0 points ago

          NOPE

          load more comments (32 replies)

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