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1026
1027

The real reason there is no Half-Life 3 (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by dirtspreader

top 200 commentsshow all 209
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[–]iamapizza 409 points410 points ago

Sadly, he turned down the threesome they offered him.

[–]jayenn7 52 points53 points ago

the WHATsome? Foursome? Two: Episode 1some?

[–]BigGay-AL 6 points7 points ago

annnnnnd....../thread peace

[–]he_eats_da_poo_poo 3 points4 points ago

Because he took turns. Like a full course meal, one at a time.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]BearRepublic 140 points141 points ago

The first thing that came to my mind.

[–]MirrorLake 32 points33 points ago

PETER MAN

CHANNEL 39

... IT'S THE BREAST EXAM

[–]thekittiestitties00 8 points9 points ago

WOOO!

[–]BearRepublic 7 points8 points ago

Fuckin' A.

[–]endlessmammal 1 point2 points ago

Watch yer cornhole.

[–]MagicMurderBean 10 points11 points ago

I'd just do one chick for the first time.

[–]bassboat1 -1 points0 points ago

upvotes for being upright

[–]industrialbird 13 points14 points ago

he looks like he is tired from just putting his arms around them. I don't think he'd be able to go through with it.

[–]bricardo 2 points3 points ago

How hard can it be to lie down and let them ride you?

[–]wil 19 points20 points ago

The first thing that came to my mind.

...I'll show myself out.

[–]DarkSideofOZ 2 points3 points ago

Not sure that would be watchable.... well at least not for fapping, maybe for the3 train-wreck value though..

[–]Hammer_the_Screw 0 points1 point ago

You show up in the weirdest places.

[–]AIabama 1 point2 points ago

I did but only lasted 5 minutes...

[–]pokie6 1 point2 points ago

You can get a couple of sex workers for $200 or so, I am sure.

[–]blaaaaa 61 points62 points ago

This is photoshopped and has been posted many times before.

[–]kente 8 points9 points ago

Can always tell the people that are new to reddit.....they are the only ones laughing and commenting about how cool this pic is.

[–]S_Wink 4 points5 points ago

Like you said....

title comnts points age /r/
The real reason there is no Half-Life 3 207coms 1008pts 15hrs pics
Was just browsing 10 month old imgur when... GabeN 3coms -5pts 1mo gaming
Gabe motherfucking Newell 27coms 37pts 4mos gaming
The real reason there's no Half Life 3 32coms 14pts 6mos gaming
Meanwhile at Valve... 98coms 317pts 7mos gaming
Classic Gabe - oldie but goodie 61coms 42pts 9mos gaming
Hover hands? Please, I'm Gabe Fucking Newell 4coms 10pts 9mos pics
Googled "fat guy with money" and got this. Isn't this Gabe Newell? 10coms 14pts 6mos gaming
Like a boss! 235coms 490pts 4mos gaming

source: karmadecay

[–]ninrod 2 points3 points ago

[6] Classic Gabe - oldie but goodie 61coms 42pts 9mos gaming

9 months ago it was a classic. I guess that means now it's new again?

[–]Piemonkey 327 points328 points ago

Photoshopped, people. Here's the original.

EDIT: Uhhh, shit. This was actually a mistake. Here's the picture I actually meant.

[–]NewDrekSilver 136 points137 points ago

Neither of your pictures make any sense...

[–]Piemonkey 70 points71 points ago

The actual picture is just a candid shot of Gabe that someone took the head from and photoshopped it into the OP's.

The mistake is just some picture I found on /r/funny earlier and linked someone to.

[–]Solous 12 points13 points ago

I love that you actually kept the original up there. Gives your post a certain je ne sais quoi.

[–]sniffles_snort 11 points12 points ago

It's more of a je ne sais pas

[–]Phnglui 14 points15 points ago

I'm fucking crying from how hard I'm laughing at this.

Thank you, good sir, for leaving the first one there after the edit.

[–]ManWithKeyboard 26 points27 points ago

I think there might be something wrong with your link...

[–]Piemonkey 27 points28 points ago

Holy shit, you're right. This was a total mistake on my part.

[–]canyoushowmearound 50 points51 points ago

It was an exceptionally great mistake

[–]Mechakoopa 16 points17 points ago

Why... did you even have that first link copied?

You know what? Never mind, don't answer that.

[–]Piemonkey 4 points5 points ago

Okay.

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]Ytoabn 9 points10 points ago

    Man the stuff they can do with Photoshop these days is amazing.

    [–]Clayblud 24 points25 points ago

    this is probably the funniest shit i've ever seen on reddit

    [–]TwoLegsJoe 10 points11 points ago

    The most glorious photo ever taken

    [–]ttogreh 7 points8 points ago

    I work in a library. My sides hurt from holding in the guffaws that this comment has elicited. Your mistake is beautiful, and I truly thank you for not deleting it once you discovered the error.

    [–]Jeepersca 2 points3 points ago

    you might want your edit to include an explanation that they took the head off that second pic, it's hard to catch without mention

    [–]Piemonkey 1 point2 points ago

    I explained it in another comment up there. I figured the face alone would be enough for most.

    [–]septicman 5 points6 points ago

    Thank you for the first out-loud chuckle of the day.

    [–]OhSnapItsKay 0 points1 point ago

    Not sure if funny, or really disturbing...

    [–]endlessmammal 0 points1 point ago

    Dude you won so hard with the wrong link! Fuck yeah!

    [–]mmleonard21 29 points30 points ago

    Fake and old.

    [–]nawoanor 11 points12 points ago

    This is Reddit, get your priorities straight.

    Old and fake.

    [–]memejob -1 points0 points ago

    I thought it was "fake and gay"?

    [–]Nice_Try_Man -2 points-1 points ago

    Nice try, Smosh!

    [–]pameatsbabies -1 points0 points ago

    Wrong obnoxious unfunny YouTuber. It's Ray William Johnson.

    [–]Nice_Try_Man 0 points1 point ago

    You are also correct. But Smosh also plays the Fake and Gay card. You being correct, doesn't make me wrong.

    [–]pameatsbabies 0 points1 point ago

    I believe RWJ "came up" with it though.

    [–]Nice_Try_Man -3 points-2 points ago

    Could have. Both make great videos. I prefer =3 over Smosh actually. It's just the nerd that screams fake and gay at everything is the first thing that came to mind.

    [–]Curtman1 5 points6 points ago

    Because 2 half-lifes equal one full life. End of series.

    [–]cloaca 9 points10 points ago

    75%.

    [–]Keevtara 5 points6 points ago

    Technically wrong is the worst type of wrong.

    [–]nawoanor 0 points1 point ago

    I'm dumb. Can you explain that to me?

    I thought "half-life" referred to the point at which half of the material in question would degrade into a simpler material. So if you have two things at their half-life, that makes one whole. No?

    [–]cloaca 1 point2 points ago

    Yes, you could also be correct, given interpretation/poetry/sophistry. I was speaking in terms of thinking about the series itself as an abstract element, and then running it over the course of two half-lives, at which point you would (in my interpretation of the comment) say that 75% of it has run its course (been used up / broken down), not 100%. So the half-life series is 75% done.

    [–]nawoanor 1 point2 points ago

    • Half Life

    • Half Life: Opposing Force

    • Half Life: Blue Shift

    • Half Life 2

    • Half Life 2: Episode 1

    • Half Life 2: Episode 2

    We're at 300% already. No wonder it's taking so long, Valve is defying the laws of physics. (not a Gabe joke)

    [–]bellemarematt 5 points6 points ago

    98.4375%

    [–]mo_bozzy 0 points1 point ago

    Don't forget Half Life: Counter-Strike.

    [–]seronis 0 points1 point ago

    25%

    [–]deadfishy12 0 points1 point ago

    Isn't two half-lives a quarter-life (using the definition of half-life)?

    [–]Azozel 17 points18 points ago

    You can totally see up the girl's dress on the right.

    [–]fairweatherfoe 4 points5 points ago

    TIL the first thing a redditor looks for in any image containing women is upskirt. I also noticed this.

    [–]WiiNotFit -3 points-2 points ago

    I'm a Redditor, and didn't notice it til you people mentioned it. Guess that's what I get for not being a teenager, single, or desperate.

    [–]Azozel 3 points4 points ago

    You forgot observant. That's coming from a confident 30 something, who's been married for 14 years.

    I thought something was off about the picture and this being reddit, figured I should look for the "When you see it".

    [–]fairweatherfoe 1 point2 points ago

    Don't assume.

    When you assume, you make an asshole out of yourself. - Cleon Salmon, The Slammin' Salmon

    I'm 26, engaged, and not by any means desperate. But like Azozel said, I am observant. As a professional photographer, I notice details in images that most people overlook.

    [–]Gimme_Some_Sunshine 15 points16 points ago

    indeed.

    [–]jostler57 1 point2 points ago

    Enhance!

    [–]CtrlC_plus_CtrlV 53 points54 points ago

    He couldn't even get 3 girls? He is really dedicated to this 2 thing.

    [–]BagOCrisps 26 points27 points ago

    Two drinks on the table too. He will go thirsty for this.

    [–]johnnytightlips2 8 points9 points ago

    This is a comment reposter, as hinted by the username

    [–]seronis 4 points5 points ago

    If this was a real photo and the real reason the game is not released...

    I could accept that. Completely rock solid logic on his part

    [–]bblambo 2 points3 points ago

    At first glance, I thought Gaben had no legs...was disappoint.

    [–]harvest_poon 9 points10 points ago

    This has to be from a while ago. He's lost a bunch of weight recently.

    [–]Piemonkey 59 points60 points ago

    It's photoshopped. Here's the original pic the head is taken from.

    [–]cheekytriangle 4 points5 points ago

    You should post this as a separate comment, it should really be higher...

    [–]Piemonkey 2 points3 points ago

    Aaaand done.

    [–]jjsreddit 5 points6 points ago

    A repost. It's also Photoshopped.

    [–]no_longer_a_lurker85 1 point2 points ago

    At least we know what our money from the steam sale is being used on.

    [–]Seamus_OReilly 1 point2 points ago

    I think I have that exact shirt.

    I, too, look like Nemo when I wear it.

    [–]XFiveOne 1 point2 points ago

    No Half-Life 3 cause of fat people? Damn...

    [–]lowsignal 1 point2 points ago

    Spending that summer sale cash at the casino with bitches! Haters gonna hate

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

    You can see the outline of his peepee!!

    [–]KountChocula 1 point2 points ago

    I'm ok with this.

    [–]Rainieri 1 point2 points ago

    Old and photoshopped.

    [–]AllMightyTallest 1 point2 points ago

    The shape of that man. It's all wrong.

    [–]BSinZoology_LOL 1 point2 points ago

    The lady on the right is Izzy from Izzy's Pantyhose Addict www.pantyhoseaddict.com NSFW

    [–]blesjay 1 point2 points ago

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lh37htBdDo1qfu1dq.jpg

    [–]KillahHills10304 1 point2 points ago

    Forgive my ignorance, I am a big Steam fan, but who is this overweight man?

    [–]GelatinousBooze 1 point2 points ago

    What a fat ass.

    [–]Lacagada 1 point2 points ago

    Because he ate it?

    [–]fallencathedral 1 point2 points ago

    They didn't want to get that close to him, they just got stuck in his gravity well.

    [–]sassypaws 5 points6 points ago

    The hose those women are wearing should only be worn by hooter's waitresses.

    [–]plustwos 1 point2 points ago

    I upvoted for you noticing them but I disagree. A non shimmer version is great for winter trips to bars and such.

    [–]Vetivyr_Sky 0 points1 point ago

    Same, have another, but why pantyhose at all, ever? Is there something wrong with pants during the winter? Stores sell sexy pants. It's not 1985, nor are we royalty in England, so... just wear jeans or something. Please.

    [–]robert_cat 1 point2 points ago

    Sometimes it's cold and you have to dress nice. I don't like dress pants, so skirts and hose it is. Plus, I like how they feel on my legs. Haters gonna hate.

    [–]JosB420 2 points3 points ago

    Girl on the right has a wedding band and a Brazillian

    [–]Blue_Falcon 2 points3 points ago

    Get money. Fuck bitches.

    [–]MFchimichanga 1 point2 points ago

    Wonder if they knew who he was, or saw all the attention he was getting and decided to smooch in.

    [–]stymieblue 1 point2 points ago

    apparently money can buy happiness

    [–]BulkUpTaru 1 point2 points ago

    Good God hes fat

    [–]Jmicale77 1 point2 points ago

    Ahahahahaha I knew gabe loves hookers.

    [–]wtfOP 2 points3 points ago

    I'm not going to lie. I would PAY to watch Gaben fuck these two.

    [–]GRFatman 0 points1 point ago

    So, what you are saying is get the job, then the khakis, and THEN the women will come ?

    [–]bennyandthejets60 0 points1 point ago

    In America, first you get the sugar. Then you get the power. Then you get the women. Quote courtesy of Homer Jay Simpson.

    [–]GRFatman 1 point2 points ago

    hahahaha thank you... I got sugar.. on to stage 2

    [–]soyjesus 0 points1 point ago

    First dinner and second dinner.

    [–]Dr4co 0 points1 point ago

    da fuq....

    [–]cold_fire149 0 points1 point ago

    Is the girl on our right wearing any panties?

    Ctrl++++++++

    [–]cheeseburger_humper 1 point2 points ago

    TIL about CTRL +

    And I also think the woman on the right is not wearing panties...

    [–]SayWordSAHN 0 points1 point ago

    CTRL + Scroll Wheel to be a superior patrician.

    [–]baxter999 0 points1 point ago

    this is chris-chan's body with gaben's head

    [–]Duka15 0 points1 point ago

    So valve is a cover up for a prostitution ring? Knew it!

    [–]RobbyFowl123 0 points1 point ago

    GABEN!!

    [–]RzK 0 points1 point ago

    I just wanna know wtf happened to the chicks legs on the right

    [–]TimesWasting 0 points1 point ago

    I love the pantyhose theyre wearing!

    [–]DildoBagins 0 points1 point ago

    gaben is fuggin HUGEEEE (schlong wise)

    [–]ArduinoUno 0 points1 point ago

    It looks like there is a kids face up that one girls skirt.

    [–]TimesWasting 0 points1 point ago

    Why can't I find the original? The one without Gabe

    [–]LacksRethics 0 points1 point ago

    I had a dream I was running across campus late for a class and I saw Gabe. I thought "OH BLESS THE KARMA GODS!"

    I ran up and asked for a picture. He ignored me and kept walking. I felt embarrassed so I just kept running and went to my discussion where the Professor showed up and lectured me for not doing my reading.

    [–]AliasBr1 0 points1 point ago

    How does he reaches his willy to pee?

    [–]alexunderwater 0 points1 point ago

    I guess its all about timing.

    [–]dailyfusion 0 points1 point ago

    Gabe gotta lose those lbs or he's not gonna be around to make hl3

    [–]edwartica 0 points1 point ago

    That's not gabe. It's his head, but not his body.

    [–]ThatSmile 0 points1 point ago

    He "Has a Life 3"

    [–]marler92 0 points1 point ago

    Reasons he loves the steam summer sale

    [–]fe3o4 0 points1 point ago

    Who said money can't buy happiness?

    [–]ernymac 0 points1 point ago

    Scumbag...Can't blame him though

    [–]mesaone 0 points1 point ago

    OH YEAH!

    http://somebodystolemytwinkie.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/kool-aid-man.png?w=300&h=300

    [–]peetah74 0 points1 point ago

    I thought I saw him at spearmint rhino in city of industry

    [–]Killerclan117 0 points1 point ago

    Is it just me or does he remind you of Augustus Gloop.....

    [–]Exducer 0 points1 point ago

    Don't stop Gaben get it. Don't stop Gaben hit it!

    [–]fry314 0 points1 point ago

    ...backstory?

    [–]Dat_Karmavore 0 points1 point ago

    That looks about as wrong as seeing my dad doing the same thing.

    [–]TheAO133 0 points1 point ago

    Is it just me or does he always look like he's going to pass out?

    [–]bodmon 0 points1 point ago

    He bought that shirt from old navy.

    [–]LisbethMona 0 points1 point ago

    I may sound stupid.. But I don't get it?

    [–]lakewoodjoe112 0 points1 point ago

    It looks like he probably ate Freeman, and that's the reason they can't make hl3.

    [–]Rucser 0 points1 point ago

    they love him for his mind.

    [–]SGTSHOOTnMISS 0 points1 point ago

    In all honesty though, this old pic shows how much weight he has lost in his newer pics (the ones where he is bearded)

    He seems like he is spending time to get his health in order.

    [–]icedmetal57 0 points1 point ago

    Is that Rebecca Gayheart, from Dead Like Me, on the left?

    [–]GZerv 0 points1 point ago

    I've been to that club in Vegas. It's very likely both those women are prostitutes. Good for him.

    [–]TheMustacheBandit 1 point2 points ago

    it is in the mirage and it is a known spot to meet working ladies haha

    [–]general_no_pants 0 points1 point ago

    Youdon'tsay.jpg

    [–]EvilClownMafia 0 points1 point ago

    Lucky ladies :(

    [–]cozmosmashzu 0 points1 point ago

    I'm Humpty Dumpty, and this is my wall....and these are my skanks!

    [–]ddeswet 0 points1 point ago

    For some reason the word rotund comes to my mind.

    [–]guttRbunny 0 points1 point ago

    What's wrong with his legs?

    [–]nemes1s3000 0 points1 point ago

    Some say a hacker intervened and stole the idea for the threesome and posted it online for all to see.

    [–]boomboxtomcat 0 points1 point ago

    Flawless victory.

    [–]Twaddles 0 points1 point ago

    Las Vegas workers doing fine work.

    [–]thedavecan 0 points1 point ago

    No fucking hoverhand there

    [–]john100693 0 points1 point ago

    not a hoverhand in sight

    [–]RelaxNplay64 0 points1 point ago

    No hover hand, like a pro

    [–]Distressed_Ocelot 0 points1 point ago

    Gabe's obviously a Player.

    [–]ftardontherun 0 points1 point ago

    See, horizontal stripes can make you look a little big. Especially with tiny bimbos on each side.

    [–]yell0wdog -3 points-2 points ago

    I'm sorry... who is this and what does he have to do with Valve?

    [–]Fonjask 5 points6 points ago

    This is the omnipotent lord of all PC gamers, holder of wallets and gamer's hearts: Gabe Newell, "the co-founder and managing director of the video game development and online distribution company Valve Corporation."

    [–]C-dawgz 0 points1 point ago

    Daaaamn! He is BIG!

    [–]MrIste 1 point2 points ago

    This must be an older picture. He's still a pretty big guy, but he isn't that big anymore.

    [–]nawoanor 1 point2 points ago

    That's not him.

    [–]mkymonkey 0 points1 point ago

    no one? really?

    ok

    ENHANCE!

    [–]wittlewayne 0 points1 point ago

    he is fat

    [–]accountnotfound2 0 points1 point ago

    Thats is on fat nasty looking dude right there, with two hot chicks. Two chicks man, two chicks!

    [–]InvalidWhistle -4 points-3 points ago

    That fat bastard... He's so fat..

    [–]604Coast 7 points8 points ago

    Cause he's full of your money... And Cheetos

    [–]shtrudl 0 points1 point ago

    His face just says "Why am I even here?". For most of us that face occurs during work, with him it's the other way around!

    [–]Piemonkey 3 points4 points ago

    That head is from him at work.

    [–]ScubaPlays 1 point2 points ago

    Oh my god he's just like us.

    [–]nitf1 0 points1 point ago

    That's a pretty good reason...

    [–]warrensr3 0 points1 point ago

    No surprise this is at a Dave and Busters.

    [–]hypermog 0 points1 point ago

    Gabe's head is shopped from this image

    [–]explicitbaron -1 points0 points ago

    this should be the number one pic of the week. I would love to see a reply email from Gabe regarding this pic. "They're my new interns."

    [–]nawoanor -2 points-1 points ago

    old;fake

    [–]TooKings -1 points0 points ago

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWdD206eSv0

    [–]cort1234 -1 points0 points ago

    FUCK'IN HOOKERS!

    [–]shazam99301 -3 points-2 points ago

    Shouldn't there be an NSFW tag?

    [–]pkmonlover42 2 points3 points ago

    Isn't it past your curfew, sonny?

    [–]StrychnineAnesthetic -2 points-1 points ago

    What the hell are those women doing with that dude? Nobody in that picture looks drunk enough or rich enough for them to be mingling.

    [–]sweethotmustard -2 points-1 points ago

    Please don't celebrate this man. He reminds me of Hedonism-bot.

    load more comments (2 replies)

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