I fucking love the foam soap dispensers. They're the sign of a new, modern, sleek bathroom. Fuck the liquid soap. This reminds me of my favorite restroom experience. the most relieving shit I've ever taken was when i was taking a mid-afternoon stroll through Hyde Park in London (sort of like Central Park in NYC) and I start feeling this pressure in my lower abdomen. I try to caress my lower stomach and hope for the best but i feel a cold sweat break out on my forehead and my neck hairs stand on end. my stomach turns around and i know i have a fucking torrent of semi-solid shit waiting to break open the floodgates of my buttcheeks.

I break into a speed walk from the center of the park to the nearest busy road. After seeing only parking garages and gas stations for a few hundred feet I see a tall and glorious Marriott. I stumble past the doorman and hurriedly ask the host at the restaurant just inside the doors where the bathroom was. Shocked at the look of anxious discomfort in my face, she pointed down the hallway to the left. Without a second thought, I bolted towards the bathroom.

I open the door and I beheld the most glorious room I had ever seen. The room was completely made of this black marble type stone and there was a row of stained cherry wood doors. I opened the first door on the right and there was a toilet as white as celebrity teeth. I hardly got my shorts down to my knees as i felt niagara falls rush out of my asshole. A rush of pleasure reverberated throughout my entire body. I took the time to enjoy this moment as i wiped with the softest cotton i had ever felt. It wasn't toilet paper, it was toilet clouds. I walked out and washed my hands in those sinks that come out of the table (like a big bowl that the faucet runs into). Instead of Paper towels, there was a stack of the softest white Marriott handkerchiefs lying stacked in a straw basket next to the sink. I walked out the Marriott a new man, ready to face the beautiful summer day that lay ahead.