How about we just not tell our kids bullshit? People say it lets them have sense of "magic". Fuck that. Look, kid, once a year other than your birthday I'm going to buy you cool shit if you're good. But only if you're good.

Boom. No "there's a creepy guy watching you at all times" or wasting perfectly good milk and cookies or kids who don't want to sleep because they think they'll see or hear some pimped out space sled. Just a kid who's equally excited about free shit and I get the credit. You know what's pretty magical? A new Xbox.

And on that note fuck ever dropping ungodly amounts of money on my kid during the worst shopping rush of the year just to go "ohmaigahd Santa left that for you holy shit right?"