this post was submitted on
2,797 points (52% like it)
31,009 up votes 28,212 down votes

funny

subscribe2,466,905 readers

10,201 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]cigr 786 points787 points ago

Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

SITCOM

[–]singhzzz 224 points225 points ago

Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Marriage.

-FTFY

[–]IIdsandsII 62 points63 points ago

Why not both?

[–]General-ColinBile 486 points487 points ago

[–]coloneljeremy 136 points137 points ago

very expensive

[–][deleted] 395 points396 points ago

if that blew your mind, think about Fairly Odd Parents.

DINKleberg

[–]pwaves13 101 points102 points ago

holy shit.

[–]DELTATKG 48 points49 points ago

[–]DrewTuber 159 points160 points ago

[–]jxl180 95 points96 points ago

[–]PenisBlood 122 points123 points ago

I like this less gross one better.

[–]digitalmofo 264 points265 points ago

Says PenisBlood.

[–]shpongolian 19 points20 points ago

You'd think he'd be used to seeing heads explode.

[–]Wallcott 6 points7 points ago

This comment deserves so much better...

[–]booc0mtaco 52 points53 points ago

Doug has Fry's voice.

[–]brianfroud 24 points25 points ago

[–]dirtybillclinton 11 points12 points ago

You have both changed my life. holy shit.

[–]funkmastamatt 34 points35 points ago

Holy shit... but from what I could tell, neither of them worked.

[–]scrappy_dude 75 points76 points ago

Mrs. Dink becomes Mayor

[–]darktemplardude 175 points176 points ago

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

[–]Geno098 66 points67 points ago

Seriously. Some people haven't caught up with the all the episodes.

[–]funkmastamatt 50 points51 points ago

In real Doug? Or that other unfortunate show that happened after real Doug?

[–]scrappy_dude 21 points22 points ago

real doug, and Mr. Dink is a writer I think

[–]kbmoe 20 points21 points ago

All I know is Mr. Dink has loads of money, because he always buys things that are "Very expensive."

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

Or that other unfortunate show that happened after real Doug?

What show?

[–]coaltown 25 points26 points ago

Probably Disneys Doug.

[–]fonetiklee 21 points22 points ago

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT

[–]A1CArtwood 21 points22 points ago

Nothing. There was no second show. It's all an elaborate hoax, you might actually see images and video clips if you search for it but don't believe anyone's lies.

[–]crdelane 24 points25 points ago

Came here to say this. "Hey there Douglathsss"

[–]Ohsochefly 600 points601 points ago

Suddenly, divorce: http://i.imgur.com/75lkl.jpg

[–]rcklmbr 39 points40 points ago

Haha! You were late to the game, but this is by far the best comment here

[–]nixle 3 points4 points ago

Don't worry. I'm captain late myself, here to give Karma where nobody cares anymore.

[–]samwisethegray 13 points14 points ago

perfect

[–]SilasYEAH 25 points26 points ago

Why exactly does the woman get all the money in america?

[–]blazemore 57 points58 points ago

Nobody knows, but it's sexist to call it out.

[–]Lost_Online 278 points279 points ago

From experience: Kids figuratively eat money.

[–]SupermanV2 250 points251 points ago

Sometimes also literally.

[–]Riotmaster0 97 points98 points ago

At least then, their poop is worth something.

[–]isoceans 38 points39 points ago

Your kids poop is now diamonds! If they ate your diamonds I guess... Or if they can heat and compress carbon...

[–]shillbert 12 points13 points ago

Too bad the carbon eating kids would only shit industrial diamonds, which have little value.

[–][deleted] 303 points304 points ago

I never wanted kids. I swore I would never have any. I was enjoying my kid- free lifestyle.

My girlfriend seven years ago would ask me to cum inside of her when we had sex. I refused every time. She would constantly insist that her birth control shots were reliable and even if she did get pregnant, she would have an abortion because she "knows how much [I] don't want kids and [didn't] want to ruin [my] life."

She would almost beg me to cum inside of her every time we had sex. Finally, I did it. We broke up a month later (we always had a rocky relationship). Four months later, she calls to tell me she "thinks" she's pregnant. We go for her ultrasound. Turns out she is... four months pregnant. I'm 24 years old, living with friends in San Francisco, have half a novel written and I'm just about to start pursuing a degree in animal biology. I gave it all up because she's in NY.

Six years later on April 1st (no joke) she tells me she's going to stay with her friend from work for a night. My daughter and I don't hear from her for a week. No one knows where she is, she hasn't shown up at work, and she has her friend lie for her. Her friend gives up the lies after a few days and tells me she went camping with a group of people from work.

I've been raising my kid alone for over a year.

She (the mother) has been drinking, doing coke, pills, was unemployed for several months (now works a couple days a week) doesn't show up for every weekend visit, doesn't pay child support.

Don't have kids unless you planned it out and you know you can really trust your partner.

[–]jbirdues 64 points65 points ago

Damn.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

your life sucks. But it's not everyone's experience. And at least now you have a daughter who loves you. My son's dad is a fucking loser who left me in a similar state but I like to think there's still happiness in this world.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Yes, that's why I wrote that part at the end in italics about waiting until you're prepared and in a stable relationship.

[–]screwgplus 1165 points1166 points ago

All money, no style. A Kia Soul really?

[–]thefamous1 450 points451 points ago

Have you ever seen a someone with style slap a decal on their car?

[–]CorneliusJack 78 points79 points ago

Best argument in this thread yet.

[–]cballance 25 points26 points ago

Exactly.

[–]VeteranKamikaze 456 points457 points ago

The Kia Soul: No, it doesn't have any.

[–]radde 202 points203 points ago

It's the ginger of cars.

[–]Will7357 47 points48 points ago

Shopping for my now ex-girlfriend's car we had a look at a couple of the Kias. We were shocked to find out they have the best warranty on the market (10yr/100k mile). Kia has come a long way.

[–]jlboygenius 42 points43 points ago

same with Hyundai. they get significantly better with each generation.

[–]bruiserdotcom 8 points9 points ago

Fuck yeah they worked their asses off as the underdog. Hyundai earned it

[–]luvmuppet 3 points4 points ago

I had a Kia Soul as a rental car for a few weeks. It wasn't a speed demon obviously, but the thing wasn't bad at all.

Still felt like a hamster, though.

[–]bullet_101 72 points73 points ago

I learned to drive a manual transmission on a Kia soul. I took a job as a wash boy before collage and when I told the service manager I couldn't drive standard he replied with "You will learn" and then handed me the keys to a 2009 Kia Soul

I've didn't even know clutches could burn that badly.

[–]clearlyobscure 582 points583 points ago

How did collage work out for you?

[–]retinarow 772 points773 points ago

He was eventually able to piece it all together.

[–]ihatecupcakes 240 points241 points ago

It was quite the arrangement.

[–]bigdog87 185 points186 points ago

Except his assignments, which were mostly cut and paste jobs.

[–]PenisBlood 134 points135 points ago

I think I'm getting the picture here.

[–]FuCKiNTowel 81 points82 points ago

It's all about perspective

[–]kneel23 84 points85 points ago

What a wonderfully abstract and collective mosaic of puns

[–]catsrus12 58 points59 points ago

It helped piece his life together.

[–]swilk 65 points66 points ago

Maybe thats why they have the cash their car is super cheap.

I'm in the same situation but with an expensive car and no piles of cash laying around :(

[–]confundo 83 points84 points ago

So, the total opposite situation?

[–]Touchdown_Syndrome 35 points36 points ago

Single, with 2 kids and a pile of debt riding in the trailer.

[–]Dstanding 38 points39 points ago

Actually, I'm quite fond of the thing. It's a small, spacious car with a very high H-point and truckish seating, which is great for my dad's bad back.

[–]Beard_Arthur 68 points69 points ago

I'm sorry, but what else would you suggest? You don't get rich by buying "stylish" (expensive) cars.

We bought a fully loaded Kia Soul for under $20k (not a lot of "stylish" cars in that range) and don't have shit for debt besides a mortgage on a modest house. How many other people can say the same?

Plus, I prefer spending my money on other pursuits, not my transportation.

[–]ybcuz 96 points97 points ago

Guess that makes me a SINK

[–]olliberallawyer 43 points44 points ago

Better than SNK.

[–]ravedigger19 62 points63 points ago

Or a SNI

[–]julywildcat 38 points39 points ago

or a SNIK

[–]CinLordOfGwynders 30 points31 points ago

I hate it when I have no income kids.

[–]freerangehuman 4 points5 points ago

Child labor laws ruin everything!

[–]tehbeard 343 points344 points ago

[–]Datsoon 175 points176 points ago

It's not so much "relevant XKCD" as it is "OP got the joke from this XKCD comic and copied it"

[–]ironmagma 113 points114 points ago

Probably more like "OP took a picture of the car of somebody else who got the joke from the XKCD comic and copied it".

[–]PopsGG[S] 14 points15 points ago

This. Not my car but I thought it was funny.

[–]Venzor 24 points25 points ago

That still makes it relevant. :)

[–]eastsideski 177 points178 points ago

there are far too many relevant XKCDs. Randal needs to back off and let other people make some jokes

[–]i_practice_santeria 34 points35 points ago

He needs one about how there's a relevant XKCD for everything.

[–]sudosandwich3 66 points67 points ago

Its the new "Simpsons did it!"

[–]DELTATKG 34 points35 points ago

South park did that one.

[–]malicestar 68 points69 points ago

For the RES/Lazy, but credit OP

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/family_decals.png

[–]Zagorath 58 points59 points ago

And for the lazy that want the alt text.

My decal set has no adults, just a sea of hundreds of the little girl figures closing in around a single cat.

[–]Farisr9k 2 points3 points ago

On behalf of everyone on their phone, I thank you.

Holding my finger on the image wasn't working..

[–]tennantsmith 7 points8 points ago

m.xkcd.com

[–]random_digital 22 points23 points ago

I think that implies that they sold their kids.

[–]fabking 287 points288 points ago

I like the term THINKER: two healthy incomes, no kids, early retirement.

[–]Pizzadude 30 points31 points ago

Perfection.

[–]TheVog 71 points72 points ago

... With A Dog.

[–]KoreanTerran 95 points96 points ago

Dinkleberg

[–]tenmilekyle 14 points15 points ago

I'm partial to DINKWAD (Dual Income No Kids With A Dog)

[–]strawberry023 6 points7 points ago

That's the future of my boyfriend and myself. Dogs are so much cheaper than children.

[–]No-Coast-Punk 1061 points1062 points ago

Wife and I (with no kids and solid careers) are currently shopping for a small airplane to buy.

Many of our peers are bitching about the cost of diapers.

I like my life better.

[–]Directly 69 points70 points ago

Adopt me

[–]isoceans 42 points43 points ago

Defeats the purpose of being a dink!

[–]incognito_crocoduck 929 points930 points ago

Once you buy it, you should constantly make jokes about how expensive airplane diapers are.

[–]fuzzycuffs 88 points89 points ago

And fill you wallet with pictures of your plane and make a bunch of Facebook posts about how cute your plane was today.

[–]No-Coast-Punk 60 points61 points ago

Oh. Man.

I could be one of THOSE people.

It would be so fucking hilarious.

"And here are 19 shots of planes first oil change."

"Here is a shot of planes first night landing"

[–]wowmir 8 points9 points ago

Do it. For the internets

[–]No-Coast-Punk 291 points292 points ago

"Awww fuck, aviation fuel just went up again. We'll have to postpone that weekend getaway to the Florida Keys for a few more weeks"

I'm thinking some sort of spin off on the XKCD window stickers stuck to the glass on the plane, but the stick figures will be wearing old tymie leather flight helmets.

The planes we are looking at are in the $60-80k range. It's astonishing how cheap short vacations become when tropical islands cost about as much to get to as that shitty little vacation town that is just a few hours outside of every major city.

[–]angad19 79 points80 points ago

Mind directing me to which planes you are looking at that cost 80k? My parents are in the market and have put me in charge of helping them find one.

[–]No-Coast-Punk 111 points112 points ago

We're down to about a half dozen models right now.

The Cessna 402 and Piper PA-31 are at the top of the list.

Tell them to stay away from pressurized aircraft. It creates an enormous amount of complication and expense.

Unpressurized and piston driven is the way to go. It may fly low and slow, but they are fuel efficient and have fairly reasonable maintenance costs.

[–]7point7 21 points22 points ago

I don't know shit about planes, but I have two friends (parents) that have cessna's and they both love them. I'm sure that has no effect on your decision, but thought I'd say it anyway :)

[–]No-Coast-Punk 11 points12 points ago

Excellent aircraft. A Cessna is currently on the short list.

[–]Guyag 48 points49 points ago

$60-80k for a plane??? That seems really cheap to me. Would you own it outright, or have it shared, or something else?

[–]Internet_Lynch_Mob 103 points104 points ago

A small cesna, not a private jet ;)

[–]No-Coast-Punk 33 points34 points ago

Own it outright.

[–]jimrooney 6 points7 points ago

60-80 will get you a pretty nice plane actually.
They're not exactly as expensive as people seem to think apparently. There are plenty that ARE super expensive, but then, you can say that about a car as well.

[–]Hank_R_Hill 9 points10 points ago

And BOOM, we have a smart, no-kid having First World Problem.

"Do I fly to Barbados or the Azores? FUUUUUUUCKKKK"

[–]Dr_HL 3 points4 points ago

Are one of you flying or do you hire a pilot?

[–]No-Coast-Punk 17 points18 points ago

Fixed wing licenses are easy.

Our big constraint right now is time. She's working on her PhD and I work insane hours (for the next year or two), in addition to doing lots of random household crap that she doesn't have time for.

We'll probably both wind up with our licenses at some point. Because Airplane!

Hiring a pilot makes what we want to do totally unfeasible from an economic standpoint. It's cheaper and easier at that point just to charter flights everywhere.

[–]Dr_HL 21 points22 points ago

Okay, that did it for me. No kids. The world's getting kinda over populated anyway.

[–]South_Dakotan 13 points14 points ago

I think I am going to be the cool uncle with all the toys.

[–]Strangely_Calm 2 points3 points ago

Look into the Icon A-5. Its the sports car of the sky and its amphibious!

[–]waywithwords 139 points140 points ago

I can't say I'm shopping for an airplane, however my BF and I get to travel at least 4 times a year, most recently to Belize and Puerto Rico. We love to eat out and go to events. There's no way we could do it all and pay for kids.

When we met last year neither of us expressed a desire for kids. We're both late 30s and have become accustomed to having spare time and money for ourselves. When I say this to some people, they call it selfish. I call it simply making a different choice.

[–]firebadmattgood 132 points133 points ago

It's ludicrous to call that selfish behavior. Who suffers? Who are you neglecting?

[–]koleye 116 points117 points ago

The people are who say it's selfish are jealous.

[–]Sephalia 39 points40 points ago

Think of the non-existent children!

[–]gattofila 38 points39 points ago

I've heard it said (Carolyn Hax!) that it's selfish to have kids b/c others pressure you and not because you want them. Not that it's selfish to be childfree.

[–]rightbrainstudios 70 points71 points ago

As a married woman with no intentions of having kids, I have had to hear people call my decision selfish way too often. I always just figure they are jealous they didn't have the balls to decide not to have kids.

You would think it's the reverse, but this has been the most difficult decision of my life. Everyone questions it, assures me I'll change my mind, or regret it later. I will never understand why this is the one area people are so weird about.

[–]wazooasiteverwas 14 points15 points ago

You're probably right thinking they're jealous of your decision not to have them. A lot of people just aren't cut out for parenting and don't find that out until it's too late.

I also don't get why people would pressure anyone into having kids. It's makes no sense at all. It's not like there aren't enough people in the world. The only real exception I can think of is if I think someone would make an excellent parent. I have a friend, he's loving, caring, responsible and I think he would make an awesome dad. He's a foreveralone type though so I don't think it's in the cards and that makes me sad. If he doesn't want them, I'm fine with that decision regardless of whether I think he would make a good dad or not.

[–]EmpireEarth 25 points26 points ago

You may enjoy /r/childfree if you aren't already aware of it's existence.

[–]noonereadsthis 7 points8 points ago

My sister and her husband have no desire to have kids. I felt sad for a little bit, because she is a totally awesome aunt, but then heck, she does what makes her and him happy. She also can't have kids, so my parents don't give her too much grief. I'm happy being a parent, but I've learned to not judge someone's choices.(I admit I do judge a little when couples have tons of kids and no money. Baby steps.)

[–]pixelife 1 point2 points ago

I've heard the 'selfish' thing too. And maybe it is, but who cares, it's your life, nothing wrong w/putting it first. Everyone lives different paths in life, if want to have them, go for it, if not, then don't. There's enough people on this planet at the moment anyway.

[–]trexchow 4 points5 points ago

My wife and I recently spent a week in Japan. That place was expensive but two salaried people made the money spent negligible.

[–]ONinAB 5 points6 points ago

[–]SeisGurl9 2 points3 points ago

This life, I think I want it.

[–]IDriveAVan 3 points4 points ago

This is doing it right. Nothing selfish about not having kids and nothing stupid or misguided about having them. It's all about what you want out of life and someone living differently will always insecurely think your way is wrong.

[–]Davine_Chi 3 points4 points ago

...they call it selfish.

Funny how people call the desire to not have children selfish, when the desire to want to bring life into this world can also be viewed as selfish.

[–]Toma- 107 points108 points ago

We're looking at a villa in Spain. I guess the plane will come after that. sigh

[–]ManWhoShitsInUrPants 68 points69 points ago

First World Problem

[–]ThaFuck 300 points301 points ago

It's a give-and-take, each-to-their-own point of view.

I've been passing on an otherwise great girl lately simply because she's already made it known she definitely doesn't want any kids. It's not because she's wrong to be that way, it's just that we're doomed from the start because I want them with them eventually.

Having money and freedom to do and buy what you like when you like is nice. But I've been doing that for years now. Despite the expense and possible bullshit kids can bring, I reckon their existence is an enriching experience in itself. One that money can never buy.

EDIT: Changed "I want them with them eventually." to "I want them eventually." - I accidentally extra words

[–]ZGiSH 18 points19 points ago

Money can buy kids if you know where to look for em.

[–]No-Coast-Punk 4 points5 points ago

We call it having "rent a womb" levels of money.

It's not that we see kids as a bad thing, we just see them as a thing that will prevent us from doing all of the other cool shit that planet Earth has to offer.

If we stumbled into millions some day, and could rent a womb for the birth process, and have the resources to drag children along on our globetrotting adventures, it suddenly becomes a different calculus of desire.

[–]toychristopher 45 points46 points ago

I'm not saying kids don't enrich the lives of their parents but do you think that people who have kids and are actually disappointed could ever admit that? I don't think they could admit it to even themselves and certainly not to anyone else.

[–]Yeargdribble 20 points21 points ago

My wife and I actually run into these people. People who say through clenched teeth how much they love their kids and how much they wouldn't trade them to go follow a dream they had (with talent that have). They claim their kids come first and they love it that way and they are so happy to have basically given up on their life goals, but you can hear the resentment in their voice.

These people are often pressuring me and my wife of 8 years to have kids or telling us that we can't possible understand this, that, or whatever because we don't have kids to fill some void. One guy, a musician, is always trying to tear me down say how it's impossible to make it doing what I do (as a musician) and every time I get more and more work, due partially to the fact that I don't have to schedule my life around kids, you can see him growing more bitter. And this guy is vastly more talented than me. It's just sad to see the guy, now in his 50s, trying to convince himself (and failing) that he's so much more glad he gave up on a career he would've enjoyed to have 2 kids.

I also wonder how much some people just feel like they have to have kids because it's "what you do." Or even worse, because they have some strange need to "pass on their legacy."

No thanks. I'll enjoy my life and if nobody carries on my name... so what?

[–]Densha_Otoko 15 points16 points ago

no return policy so your options are to convince yourself they are the best thing ever or have 18+ years of regret.

[–]thatfilthyfive 7 points8 points ago

Can I have her number? Because I have the opposite problem, I keep falling in love with girls who want kids and never under any circumstances do I want to procreate.

[–]YouStupidCunt 8 points9 points ago

I reckon their existence is an enriching experience in itself. One that money can never buy.

The wife and I will pass on that experience. I can buy a ton of experiences with money.

[–]dietotaku 96 points97 points ago

how old is she? i definitely didn't want any kids... until i turned 29 and suddenly caught the baby rabies. same thing happened to a friend of mine. this isn't to say all childfree women will change their minds, but it's a possibility if they're under 30.

[–]CrackItJack 23 points24 points ago

There is the "I don't feel like it" and then there is the rational "I would not make a good parent". It's just not for everybody.

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points ago

Upvote for baby rabies.

[–]QueenPigeon 7 points8 points ago

It's a possibility even after 30, but the point is it's just as horrible to tell a childfree woman that she'll change her mind as it is telling a mother that she'll eventually change her mind too. Could you image such a thing? (Not that you did that, I was just building off your point)

[–]EjaculateEvacuator 5 points6 points ago

Honestly, one of the foundations of our(my wife and I) marriage has been that we DO NOT want children - mostly out selfishness and not wanting to give up our precious little time with each other.

She is 29 years old.

I really need to stop putting off getting snipped - time to make an appointment.

[–]ThaFuck 2 points3 points ago

I'm the guy who was passing someone by because our standing on the idea is different.

I don't think it's selfish to not want kids. All it is is having different wants in life. Your wants are not a bad thing at all.

The point of what I posted was that her and I are starkly different. I don't consider my view to be better or less selfish than hers. But if it's an issue so early on, it's time better spent finding someone who at least agrees on such a foundation of a relationship (for both of us ).

It's great you and your wife agree fully on it. That's all I'm after in essence.

[–]balla4life 6 points7 points ago

Eww...baby rabies. There's a procedure for that.

[–]eilonwy_llyr 9 points10 points ago

I'm thirty, and still haven't caught baby rabies. My husband, who is 2 years younger than me on the other hand has them REAL BAD.

Edit: No plans on leaving each other- we made a deal when we were married to revisit the idea of kids every 5 years. The last time it was brought up we were both leaning heavily towards adoption, but it wasn't the right time. I'm sure the next time we seriously talk about it we'll be closer to a consensus. Thanks for your concern?

[–]SeisGurl9 10 points11 points ago

I'd like kids one day maybe. But traveling and exploring the world with my lover sounds pretty fucking awesome too.

I feel like a lot of people think to have kids because we're expected to.

[–]wazooasiteverwas 128 points129 points ago

Spoken like a true gentleman. As a dad, single dad at that. Kids are fucking expensive as all hell. They cost literally thousands a month if that kind of money is available. Whatever you have, that's what they cost plus usually just a tiny bit extra. I don't know how they manage to do it. But what they give back in return is so much more than I could buy with the money I would save. I have true unconditional love and adoration from my little girls. I wouldn't go back to being happily married with no kids for anything.

[–]And_Everything 31 points32 points ago

Ive got 2 kids...dont have any.

[–]Quinnett 36 points37 points ago

http://www.microflight.com/Micro-Spitfire-RTF-Set

I just bought this and I have a single income and no kids. Check. Mate.

[–]SenorSpicyBeans 5 points6 points ago

A friend and I were discussing work, money, and the like not so long ago. He was upset about being broke all the time. I reminded him that his base salary is nearly four times what mine is....and he gets hefty bonuses, whereas I get none. His response?

Yeah, but you're single. I got a wife and two kids.

It dawned on me harder then than it ever has before - I'm never having any fucking kids.

[–]No-Coast-Punk 6 points7 points ago

Heh, reminds of a time right after I bought my first motorcycle.

A co-worker and I ran out and paid cash for brand new bikes within a week of each other.

We were sitting in the lunchroom eating our hot meals we ran out and picked up, talking about all of the cool stuff we were going to buy for our respective bikes.

One table over was a group of married guys with kids eating nuked leftovers.

One of them looked over at us and yelled "Hey! Why don't you two shut the fuck up!? Some of us have fucking piano lessons to figure out payments on!". Dude was only kidding, but I had a total "OH SHIT!" moment.

[–]bannana 34 points35 points ago

I'll just put this right here: /r/childfree

[–]tripinbalz 52 points53 points ago

I personally can't see the benefit to having my own kids.. They'd sap all my time, money and freedom. I can't wait to have nieces and nephews though, I'll spoil them rotten and then give them back to their parents when they shit me.

[–]Drunky_Brewster 24 points25 points ago

My husband and I, no kids, me 35 and he 31, are looking to buy a helicopter! We are renting out our house and traveling the world, me as a photographer and he as a helicopter pilot. All this came from cheap living and a good union job at UPS. Honestly when he first started talking about doing this I thought he was nuts, but it turns out if you don't live outside your means...in fact if you just live like a broke college student, this life is totally possible.

[–]No-Coast-Punk 5 points6 points ago

Exactly. It's all about discovering early on what your priorities really are.

We live pretty simple lives. Don't have many things (things just weigh us down when we choose to exercise our freedom to pick up and move.). The things we do have all are pretty nice and 100% paid for.

I enjoy our condo with a private beach in an area that would totally be unfeasible if we had kids (the schools are complete crap).

[–]NancyGracesTesticles 3 points4 points ago

The wife and I our in our late thirties with no kids and are about to have our best year ever, financially.

Our big purchases this year: I bought some new boots and she wants new patio furniture.

The problem with buying a bunch of shit is that you have to figure out where to put it and then maintain it. I'd rather the money just sit in our accounts until there is something we really need and then we don't have to stress about how to pay for, say a new AC or a fridge or to get rid of this 15 year old couch that is killing my ass.

Plus, if we pay off the house before housing prices rebound, we may have a few large purchases in our future and I can start working towards my dream of owning one of the old 19th/Early 20th century office buildings in town.

[–]ThatBeardedCarGuy 2 points3 points ago

I considered SINK, but you make me like the idea of being a DINK. I really want my pilot's license so I can fly a Cessna.

[–]2dollarb 115 points116 points ago

Blatant advertisement of wealth; surely nothing could go wrong here.

[–]IDriveAVan 54 points55 points ago

Except it's a Kia so it cancels out.

[–]fournameslater 166 points167 points ago

We are DINKs, but it is not our choice. Yes the disposable income is nice, and so is the freedom and spare time. Still, we would rather be parents.

That is why we are trying to adopt.

Oh, and, I hate rear window decals of stick people.

[–]danintexas 9 points10 points ago

We are DINKs. Failed to have kids for a couple years. At the age of 38 and she is 32 - we are waffling on if we should bother trying. Just do some trips or something. Just don't know. Shame too. We bought a big house we kinda rattle around in.

[–]Assaultman67 22 points23 points ago

[–]SilverContrails 33 points34 points ago

It looks like they simply sold their kids for stacks of cash.

[–]Enonymau5 28 points29 points ago

Someone once told my they were a DINK, I was like wooaaah don't be so hard on yourself buddy.

[–]PJayy 18 points19 points ago

I just had to google it only to find out the title tells me. I just didn't put 2 and 2 together.

[–]vegeto079 3 points4 points ago

Shit, I thought I was the only one. "Haha nice sticker, what's a DINK?" Scroll through the comments, scroll back up.. "christ, I'm an idiot".

[–]CrusherEAGLE 5 points6 points ago

I thought DINK was the sound effect the money made when it hit the floor.

[–]DookieTwankle 7 points8 points ago

"I have known more men destroyed by the desire to have wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink and harlots." - William Butler Yeats

[–]Stewagen 47 points48 points ago

OK I'm going to come out and say it. To all those people who have these family decals on their car; seriously no-one gives a fuck about your family.

[–]buh-nana 4 points5 points ago

I think its safe to say that no one cares about any decal/bumpersticker anyone puts on their car, save the owner.

[–]yumpineapple 59 points60 points ago

I played a full game of Life once without having any kids. I traveled Europe, had a great house and job, threw parties for famous people. It was a perfect game and at the end I had more money and more accomplishments than anybody.

And I didn't even go to college! Ha!

[–]andy261 11 points12 points ago

Double income large dog owners. DILDOs.

[–]diadelsuerte 11 points12 points ago

It blew my mind when my grandfather explained to me why Mr. Dink in Doug was called Mr. Dink.

[–]hms_poopsock 35 points36 points ago

this happened at my job...

asian co-worker : "man we have to work overtime again, at least we get paid this time."

non asian co-worker : "whatever, you dont have kids that suck up all your money"

other non asian co-worker : "yah you DINK"

asian co-worker : WHAT DID YOU CALL ME ?!!??!?!!?

he was not aware of the term DINK.

[–]JackassPenguinass 12 points13 points ago

DINK does kinda rhyme with a racial slur for a certain type of Asian... I can understand his confusion.

[–]ironicalballs 45 points46 points ago

  1. Get Married
  2. No kids
  3. Apartment
  4. Both ride Sportbikes
  • ???

Why can't I hold all these wallets???

[–]ModestCuntDestroyer 1 point2 points ago

Living the dream.

[–]LyTwLdR 4 points5 points ago

Din-kle-berrrg...

[–]coolco 37 points38 points ago

What someone needs to do is buy one female sticker and around 10 cat stickers and put on someones back window

[–]felixny 23 points24 points ago

Even better...I'm a SINK!

[–]OriginalPounderOfAss 6 points7 points ago

i thought this would have been the first and only comment

[–]soulcakeduck 5 points6 points ago

Why is that better?

[–]j-random 14 points15 points ago

Hmmm, dual income, couple of kids -- I think I've said too much...

[–]Xenoo 33 points34 points ago

[–]Bobic2 49 points50 points ago

That's a skeleton.

[–]Xenoo 23 points24 points ago

That's a skeleton of a child with their baby teeth and adult teeth. Fucking creepy as hell.

[–]liescontrolus 47 points48 points ago

I don't know, your the one with the skull of a child.

[–]EatsAllNearbyPies 9 points10 points ago

Yeah but if you don't have kids who is going to put you in a home and never visit you when you're old?

[–]LawHero4L 4 points5 points ago

I might get one of these.

[–]mrsaturn42 3 points4 points ago

There is a bar called Dinks where I live. I am pretty sure its a gay bar.

[–]vodenii 3 points4 points ago

People with actual money don't advertise like this.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]