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745
746

Nearly shit myself laughing (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by timmyhunter3

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[–][deleted] 103 points104 points ago

I didn't shit myself laughing.

[–]bab1990 23 points24 points ago

Reddit Constant: Everyone on Reddit apparently shits themselves all the time.

[–]GarenBushTerrorist 0 points1 point ago

I lost my shit shitting myself laughing. Help me find it?

[–]ShoddyRapInBlue 1 point2 points ago

Everybody poops.

[–]bigsaucybob 18 points19 points ago

I didn't even laugh.

[–]AriBBCP 1 point2 points ago

not even a smirk

[–]singhzzz 7 points8 points ago

There must be something blocking the passage. Perhaps, you are in the act of engaging in the activity mentioned in the image?

[–]salmanrushdi 2 points3 points ago

I nearly lost my dentures laughing

[–]come_on_seth -3 points-2 points ago

Perhaps you just left them at your last hide out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Did you le soil this gem?

[–]4alizer -2 points-1 points ago

Me neither. Do I get my money back?

[–]dansx 66 points67 points ago

You must be easily entertained.

[–]Eymou 62 points63 points ago

or he easily shits himself.

[–]ChalgakillerBG 15 points16 points ago

Laxatives. Not even once.

[–]prettyawkwardpenguin 3 points4 points ago

Franch. Not even once.

[–]apteryx_274 2 points3 points ago

Kick-ass Cajun. Nicht ein einziges Mal!

[–]Eymou 1 point2 points ago

häh.

[–]beachjustice 1 point2 points ago

I think a lot of people must be before they walk into Reddit. I've noticed I can scroll through reddit for an hour without even a chuckle sometimes. I kinda miss laughing.. I haven't had a good laugh in years.

[–]CtrlC_plus_CtrlV 214 points215 points ago

Sorry, but this is actually the best one: http://i.imgur.com/tgWdd.jpg

[–]sidepart 69 points70 points ago

Eh... that one's good... but I prefer this one.

http://i.imgur.com/ucV3Y.jpg

[–]KazMux 48 points49 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/7w0jH.jpg

My favorite :)

[–]original_gamgee 0 points1 point ago

This one has my vote

[–]aznscourge -1 points0 points ago

The Brock one is definitely the best

[–]BeethovenFanatic 14 points15 points ago

Holy shit, thank you.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]dont_shit_urknickers -1 points0 points ago

I agree OP is hilarious.

[–]mikeajblack -2 points-1 points ago

Agreed. OP had me laughing hysterically for a solid minute.

[–]enflamed_anal_hairs -3 points-2 points ago

this is my fav by far

[–]matrixrory 15 points16 points ago

CONTRACEPTION!

[–]karmasultan 13 points14 points ago

OP

[–]TheMajicalWaffle 4 points5 points ago

I only had slight loss of fecal matter while reviewing this photo.

[–]come_on_seth 0 points1 point ago

That's just wrong. Laughed harder knowing how wrong this is.

[–]ApplesAreAwesome 14 points15 points ago

How is shit like this is making the front page nowadays?

[–]alextheangry 16 points17 points ago

It's summertime, baby!

[–]Arrog 14 points15 points ago

I bet he wears the Scarecrow mask every time.

[–]apteryx_274 4 points5 points ago

Puts on Scarecrow mask, Wife insists on butt-sex...

[–]Wokcus 1 point2 points ago

A young woman is at her gynecologist for her regular exam. After everything was finished, the doctor asked her if she had any questions. She hesitated, and then says "Well... my boyfriend keeps asking me to try anal sex. This is probably a stupid question, but can I get pregnant that way?" The doctor replies "That's not a stupid question at all. Where did you think lawyers came from?"

[–]come_on_seth 0 points1 point ago

Bowels of the earth.

[–]BNM21 4 points5 points ago

This is one of those reposts I find entertaining every time.

[–]nineseventysix 1 point2 points ago

cracks me up every time i see it

[–]Jaccington 6 points7 points ago

Shouldn't this be in /r/adviceanimals or something?

[–]HigherFive 19 points20 points ago

No.
A while ago it would've should've been in /r/vertical, but now it should've been in /r/eposts.

[–]penguinsarecooool 1 point2 points ago

We are pro-repost over at /r/vertical, so we don't mind things some of us have seen before, as long as there is just the right mount of time between posts.

[–]jg521336 8 points9 points ago

I actually did shit myself laughing cause i have diarrhea right now:/

[–]zbrinz 0 points1 point ago

Same here buddy, i feel you

[–]Morsrael 0 points1 point ago

Who laughs at this it isnt even funny.

[–]daltonfury 1 point2 points ago

I didn't even laugh. Well i did, but it was at your awful sense of humor.

[–]Dick_Serious 2 points3 points ago

If you shit yourself laughing at this, I wonder what would happen if you actually saw something funny.

[–]WolfInTheField 5 points6 points ago

sigh

I'll be this guy.

This is a repost of a repost of a repost of a repost of a repost, and I'm 99% sure OP is karmawhoring it, and did not at all shit himself laughing.

[–]bibleporn 2 points3 points ago

Why don't Americans use the past participle verb "shat". It sounds so much better and less clunky. As in "I will shit myself" "I am shitting myself" "I have shat myself

[–]trandy1001 3 points4 points ago

Is it fair to say it is because we follow the convention of the verb "to hit"? "I have hit myself" is a bit more natural than "I have hat myself".

[–]bibleporn 0 points1 point ago

Ah the irregular verb. How would you say "I shit yesterday", it sounds a bit like "I sing yesterday"?

[–]come_on_seth 0 points1 point ago

Or maybe we don't hear Shakespeare in our minds eye when in need of this verbiage.

[–]robint22 1 point2 points ago

Your title is a fucking lie. You're a fucking asshole.

[–]jo3l 3 points4 points ago

...which means you didn't write it, so it must be a repost.

[–]drashubxvi 1 point2 points ago

Buncha haters. Who cares if it's a repost. Lots of people have never seen it before. I, for example, have not, and laughed pretty hard at that :)

[–]DSTFU 0 points1 point ago

I don't get it

[–]TailSpinBowler 0 points1 point ago

had to think too long for this one.

[–]ricecrizo 0 points1 point ago

Not sure if he knows anything about sex or just likes butt holes alot.

[–]Raxony 0 points1 point ago

I don't get it, can someone explain?

[–]SDSKamikaze 0 points1 point ago

Not sure if you're trolling. He slams his wife up the arse by default and sees the vagina as 'exotic'.

[–]justonecomment 1 point2 points ago

Alternatively he thinks you can get a girl pregnant from anal sex.

[–]justonecomment 1 point2 points ago

What is funny is I originally thought the second guy was stupid for thinking she'd get pregnant from anal sex. Then realized he's actually smart for always having anal sex to keep her from getting pregnant.

[–]justkidding1043 0 points1 point ago

You sir, have low standards.

[–]quattro33 -1 points0 points ago

*Shat

[–]darkniteofdeath 0 points1 point ago

I did shit myself! But I was already sitting on the can when I read it!

[–]darkniteofdeath 0 points1 point ago

Those who didn't lol = Forever Alone.

[–]uhmerikin 1 point2 points ago

In your dreams

[–]ZearBatIX 0 points1 point ago

Sooo... oooooooooold

[–]RzK -1 points0 points ago

I saw this exact one before except worded better. Seems some dumbass took the original and changed it up to make it his own. The original was something like this:

"Have you ever tried fucking your wife in.. you know.. the other hole?"

"No way, that could get her pregnant"

ಠ_ಠ

not a big change, but some chode along the lines copied the original which makes me want to stab people

[–]zerocoke 0 points1 point ago

Hilarious.

[–]TheJucheisLoose 1 point2 points ago

Fuck you haters, I thought this shit was funny. Good job, OP, I also laughed heartily.

[–]PopeSchlongPaulII 0 points1 point ago

This is an old, shitty repost.

[–]MustMan 0 points1 point ago

I struggled in upvoting due to amount of laughter.

[–]mrhs215 0 points1 point ago

CONCEPTION

[–]dancefuckerdance 0 points1 point ago

i have never thought this meme was funny. i dont know why.

[–]tacojuan 0 points1 point ago

you are all a pack of dogs

[–]ZephyrBiscuit 0 points1 point ago

http://i.imgur.com/fNTk0.gif

[–]cheezychicken 0 points1 point ago

I think all of reddit needs to get their shitters checked. It's unhealthy for this many people to come close to/actually shit themselves this often...

[–]spike003 0 points1 point ago

I read reedit on the shitter

[–]arcwhite 0 points1 point ago

Down here in Australia, the past simple form of the verb "to shit" is "shat".

As in, "nearly shat myself laughing".

I believe we share it with our UK brethren. I for one think it a more colourful turn of phrase.

KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE

[–]Niallo92 0 points1 point ago

Englishman here. This is correct.

[–]come_on_seth 0 points1 point ago

GI Joe

[–]digbus -4 points-3 points ago

Wonder what's on reddit today - oh just reposts...

[–]Xenophorm 4 points5 points ago

Gee Brain what are we going to do tonight?

[–]Chaster321 4 points5 points ago

Same thing we do every night, Pinky... Stay up until 5 am on Reddit.

[–]okaytran 0 points1 point ago

I would just like to share that I woke up just now. Fell asleep early last night. It's actually quite refreshing.

[–]wtfmanquestionmark -4 points-3 points ago

For the longest time I had convinced a friend that's where black kids come from.

[–]rybo333 -2 points-1 points ago

This...is amazing. Initial thought was that he thought she would have a shit demon child, but then realized that he fucks his wife exclusively in the butt at which point I nearly died.

[–]drf_ -1 points0 points ago

That guys wife sure didn't.

[–]bozzwtf -2 points-1 points ago

what movie is this from?

[–]conceitedmoose -2 points-1 points ago

You all laugh, but I have had a conversation that went a lot like this.

About four years ago I was talking to a friend of mine online and we were talking about sex, and the conversation switched over to anal sex. While I don't remember the details of the conversation, I do remember that there was a very small debate of whether or not anal sex should be done with or without a condom. If there was no condom, should the man finish inside of her.

She told me that the man shouldn't finish inside of her because she could get pregnant. I was dumbfounded by this, and gave her the benefit of the doubt, and asked her if she knew that I was referring to finishing inside of a woman while doing anal. She said yes.

I was kind of stunned. I immediately asked why she believed that, and she said that a friend of hers got pregnant because the sperm came out of her ass and went into her vagina.

I didn't even. How the fuck to people believe this? Anyway, carry on with your day.

[–]Inkbone 0 points1 point ago

It IS pretty unsafe.

Anal stimulates lots of vaginal fluid. If semen drips out (and it's going to eventually) then sperm have an avenue to go swimming right up there.

You have to be damn slow to clean up in order to let this happen, but it can happen.

[–]conceitedmoose 1 point2 points ago

Well. Honestly I'm not surprised that it is possible, though I don't really think that all of the factors needed for it to happen should all happen at once.

But thank you for proving me wrong. I didn't really learn anything today, and now I have. (not sarcasm, i mean this)

[–]Inkbone 0 points1 point ago

It's not the likeliest means of pregnancy by a long shot, of course. You're right to be skeptical.

But unless you're okay with waking to the pitter-patter of tiny Dougs, you'd better err on the side of caution always.

$.02 from a baby-hater

[–]conceitedmoose 0 points1 point ago

Hmm knows my name Post history. ohhhhhhh Hello.

[–]ShotgunMadMaxwell -2 points-1 points ago

I'm unsure about the joke. Does he strictly do anal or is he just dumb?..

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