all 155 comments

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]captainHAHA 78 points79 points ago

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Fucking concrete is the opposite of fucking a man. A man is fucked when hard not soft. Concrete is fucked when soft not hard.

[–]daninmontreal 68 points69 points ago

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[–]Tachyx 44 points45 points ago

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There are times when you should not be permitted to decline psychiatric evaluation.

[–]ARedFez 35 points36 points ago

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"delivered".

"What are you going to name your rectum-shaped concrete ass-child, Harry?"

[–]404-shame-not-found 11 points12 points ago

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Biddy.

[–]drtekrox 2 points3 points ago

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You bet your sweet Biddy.

[–]cstwig 0 points1 point ago

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Pocket money of about tree fiddy?

[–]cloud_watcher 8 points9 points ago

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"Rectum-shaped ass-child" ties with "snacking on a bowl full of foreskins" for top phrases I'd never thought I'd hear.

*edited to add: But DID hear on Reddit.

[–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

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That second one could be a euphemism for giving a bunch of blowjobs.

[–]lagerdalek 10 points11 points ago

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[–]crackox 12 points13 points ago

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And here is the x-ray. And the next person after me can post all the text and then we dont need to visit the original link at all.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]imthefooI 1 point2 points ago

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Why... would you ever... I mean really.

[–]LearnAlways 9 points10 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]dsoltesz 1 point2 points ago

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That entire paragraph was fascinating... the thing's now sitting on some doctor's bookshelf as a souvenir.

[–]AllThingsLocal 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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where did he go?

[–]Superhans18 6 points7 points ago

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Holy fuck, this needs upvotes.

[–]madamerimbaud 1 point2 points ago

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What the fuck. Why did they think that would be a good idea?

[–]WisconsnNymphomaniac 1 point2 points ago

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Because some people are really, really stupid.

[–]xenokilla 1 point2 points ago

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Key Words: Anal eroticism--Colorectal injuries--Enemas, cement--Foreign bodies--Paraphilias.

yea.......

[–]sloppyrock 0 points1 point ago

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I think that trumps the container of baby powder and knife... in its scabbard up someone's ass when presenting at hospital.

[–]apmechev 2 points3 points ago

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There's a drunken story behind this

[–]dontneedyourkarma 0 points1 point ago

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I think it was just an epiphany

[–]cloud_watcher 4 points5 points ago

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I like how he doesn't lead with telling the doctors about the concrete. "Um, yes, I have some rectal pain for some unknown reason. Thought maybe I should have it checked out."

[–]Proditus 2 points3 points ago

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He could have, and I'd guess he probably did.

Many medical professionals use standard forms for dealing with cases. Concrete in anus is a cause, but not a symptom. Symptoms of concrete in anus would be the abdominal pain, and the concrete would be revealed to the doctors in examination.

I think I'm a buzzkill or something.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Wodashit 0 points1 point ago

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Well in fact they sould leave it like this, it can be considered as art. At least that's the first thought I had.

[–]praise_the_almighty 1 point2 points ago

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If I am not mistaken this is Berlin so yeah, like we give a fuck.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]RichardStinks 223 points224 points ago

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Doesn't anyone realize? This is the bike of a young boy who parked it and went off to fight in the First World War. He never came back and the sidewalk naturally grew around it. It's legendary on some parts of the internet.

[–]SicilianEggplant 140 points141 points ago

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SEND THIS TO TEN PEOPLE OR THAT BOY WILL DIE OF TERRORIST CANCER AIDS.

[–]PussyBender 26 points27 points ago

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Cancraids

[–]SicilianEggplant 19 points20 points ago

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TERRORANCORRAIDS!

THE NEW GATORAID FLAVOR, EXCLUSIVE TERROR FUEL FOR RANCORS!

.....

So not funny.... but it's what usually goes on in my head movies... My wife once asked the age old, "what are you thinking?"

"What my name would be if I were a Mexican wrestler."

I'm sorry. I'll stop now.

[–]Ponzer 6 points7 points ago

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WELL TELL US... what would your name be?

[–]SicilianEggplant 9 points10 points ago

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She derailed my train of thought at the time, hundreds were killed.

I want to say I was working off of the "porn name" (middle name and street you grew up on), which is Jordan Sequoia, and was just trying to make it Spanish, but I think Jordan just has an accent to it so I came up with just El Secoya and being dressed in tree-bark looking tights and a LoTR Tree-Beard-like Ent mask (just thought of this: standing in the corner of the ring like a tree, totally out of place and obvious, but my opponent can't see me in my camo until he is so close I just fall on him to the cheering of the crowd. Like a game of hide-and-seek with a 3 year-old)

Lame, but that just made me go through the whole Chris Farley "El Nino" routine....

"El Socoya. Spanish for... THE SEQUOIA!"

I feel extra twitchy right now, and my leg won't stop moving (usually when I want a smoke). I havent had a cigarette in a few weeks (still using lozenges), it's 103, baby finally went to bed. Feel like getting crazy tonight and going to sleep at 10:00pm, against my wife's wishes!

[–]Pearinator 2 points3 points ago

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10PM? Positively rebellious, good sir!

[–]SicilianEggplant 3 points4 points ago

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[–]brodie7838 0 points1 point ago

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There's a subreddit for this, I can't recall the name though.

[–]walrod 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Layne_Staleys_Ghost 3 points4 points ago

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I've spent too much time on reddit...

[–]ok_you_win 0 points1 point ago

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Hepagonorsyphilaids.

[–]beener 1 point2 points ago

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LIKE=PRAYER

[–]jcmc2112 2 points3 points ago

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It's not easy to realize when you've never seen it before.

[–]smokeweedsbrah 1 point2 points ago

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God dammit I'm way too high for this shit

[–]RNRSaturday 154 points155 points ago

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Finally, a concrete solution to bike theft.

[–]deathbytray 37 points38 points ago

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This moment should be cemented in history.

[–]WalterEKurtz 1 point2 points ago

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Granite it may take a while for people to see that..

[–]imthefooI -4 points-3 points ago

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I must be honest. I hate pun threads.

[–]tompivo 0 points1 point ago

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I must be honest, I hate people who can't let other people have fun

[–]CleanBaldy 0 points1 point ago

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I agree. That comment is stone cold, quick drying bull crap!

[–]i_can_paint_that -1 points0 points ago

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who can't let people whore karma*

It takes away from the amount of good comments I could be reading.

[–]TheSemiTallest -1 points0 points ago

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I just laughed out loud, at work, for a solid thirty seconds. Thank you, and congrats.

[–]bjbyrne 35 points36 points ago

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Be even better if his shoes were shown stuck at the end.

[–]docblue 11 points12 points ago

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shoes then socks. just like in home alone.

[–]walrod 0 points1 point ago

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one shoe, one sock, underwear. efficiency.

[–]Mikerk 64 points65 points ago

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Art.

[–]an_usual_man 2 points3 points ago

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I would honestly suggest it just to be left like that, without the fence, as contemporary art. I think it's cool.

[–]vaitor 7 points8 points ago

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Street-Art

[–]Ponzer 14 points15 points ago

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Sidewalk art, duh.

[–]tom_mandory 2 points3 points ago

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Footpath art

[–]MPair-E 1 point2 points ago

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Indeed, a cool one at that.

A lot of people in this thread are deprived of neat public art, it seems.

[–]Xet 0 points1 point ago

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No wonder it doesn't make any sense.

[–]SupermanV2 20 points21 points ago

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I'm pretty impressed with the riders ability to not have crashed it into the ground.

[–]hereforeyebleach 2 points3 points ago

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It was more of a slow sinking into the ground.

[–]boondoggie42 -1 points0 points ago

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Literally into the ground... unless they poured a six inch thick sidewalk.

[–]RoverDaddy 30 points31 points ago

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I sense a permanent 'art installation' in the making.

[–]SolomonGomes 20 points21 points ago

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[–]jgibran 9 points10 points ago

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[–]qwibble 1 point2 points ago

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So I enabled the speech recognition closed-captions that youtube attempts at certain movies. This movie's captions sound like the rantings of a crazy person:

going here did get well in lifted don't became a big deal to do it pls fabric directly doug whose spent to get a bill to drawing recklessly will continue till it ruined but youth rent instructions leg route place another threat detected to them crowds set you stereotype dispirited uh... today's citizen moment when planted the bloody cupid what is the minority identifier quiet marketers you tactics i'd project coming along summer storm long all

...they've got a few kinks to work out

[–]Gazz1016 2 points3 points ago

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Le Grill? What the hell is that!?

[–]j0lly4numb 24 points25 points ago

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I can't seem to figure out why there is two lines going into the concrete at first I thought it was a foot dragging but then it crosses over the more dominant line. could it be that the concrete was that "wet" that the rider steered around with the front tire? regardless, it's still kind of funny.

[–]ndrew452 29 points30 points ago

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Have you ever ridden a bicycle in the snow? The same principle applies. The concrete is too dense to allow the back tire to line up with the front tire, but the bicycle rider can still maneuver the front tire a bit.

edit: people don't downvote him, he said he couldn't figure it out and I answered the question for him (which he accepted). No big deal.

[–]TheSemiTallest 1 point2 points ago

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While the end result is the same, it has nothing to do with the densities of what you're riding on. The two tires only line up when you are going perfectly straight. Any time you are turning (not going perfectly straight), the two tires are doing so on different turn radii, so they will follow different paths.

[–]j0lly4numb -1 points0 points ago

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yeah I see what you're saying. up vote for snow reference! I just always assume that concrete is extremely dense.

[–]HandWarmer 2 points3 points ago

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Actually your bike tires take different paths when you turn. Watch the tracks you put down with wet tires.

[–]MashTheClash 4 points5 points ago

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I am pretty shure that this is in Berlin. But i don't recognize the bridge so far.

[–]elbowed 6 points7 points ago

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Fortunate day to have forgotten your bike lock.

[–]PartTimeBadman 2 points3 points ago

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"Damnit, if only my mountain bike could go off the path!"

[–]lullabyrequiem 2 points3 points ago

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And now it's street art

[–]Farmington1278 2 points3 points ago

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If you park like this, fuck you.

[–]Johncarllos 22 points23 points ago

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Does nobody realize the cost of the damages and man hours it will take to fix that?

Total dick move by that asshole. I'm glad he lost his bike in the process.

[–]gutterpunx0x 25 points26 points ago

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If no additional damage is off frame, I would estimate it at about $2600-$4000

[–]txapollo342 1 point2 points ago

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They have to crash everything and lay it from start? Can't they just crush the area around the tires and refill it (and the rest of the gaps)?

[–]gutterpunx0x 2 points3 points ago

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Well the normal approach to this sort of demo would just be to pull up your excavator and start pulling chunks of concrete up. If you only did the affected area you would have at least 2 20' long and 4-6 inch deep cuts to make that take a damn long time to do. Then to break those pieces up and remove them by hand.

The amount of labor involved would not be worth it in the end.

And the estimation is just from a general knowledge of Concrete finishing. That would be a fair price for a somewhat large sized company. Start to finish it would be no more then 5 hours of work for 2 guys, 3 if you include the truck driver

[–]Johncarllos 3 points4 points ago

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People don't seem to agree with me that it is unfunny.

I don't know about your concrete estimation skills, but I'll believe you, and see this as a damned tragedy.

[–]Pearinator 1 point2 points ago

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Dunno, his estimation seems rock-solid to me.

[–]umpteenth_joynt 2 points3 points ago

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tragedy ...really? c'mon.

[–]sixfourthree 0 points1 point ago

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Or job security for people with names like John Carlios?

[–]ResidentWeeaboo 1 point2 points ago

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That's just another way of saying Broken Window Fallacy

[–]hellcrapdamn 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you for making me aware of the name of this fallacy! I always have to go through a big ordeal explaining why jobs for the sake of job security are wrong.

[–]pmk422 2 points3 points ago

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Oh won't somebody please think of the children!

[–]PostalPenguin 10 points11 points ago

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Or the public works employees were too lazy to cordon off the wet concrete and the rider unsuspectingly rode into it.

[–]Shinhan 3 points4 points ago

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Riding into could be explained. Riding THROUGH is really stupid.

[–]MRiley84 1 point2 points ago

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Then got off his bike and walked the rest of the way down the sidewalk rather than step into the grass (and take his bike with him).

[–]f3nd3r 3 points4 points ago

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Well that's what they get for not cordoning off the area.

[–]fuckyoubarry 4 points5 points ago

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No, somebody thought they were being really cute when they did that. If it was an accident he would have taken his bike and rinsed it off somewhere.

[–]f3nd3r 0 points1 point ago

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It was just a joke mate.

[–]fuckyoubarry 4 points5 points ago

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I spent a few years working with concrete.

NOT FUNNY :(

[–]f3nd3r 3 points4 points ago

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Ahhh. I'm very sorry, I certainly can understand similar things.

[–]fuckyoubarry 3 points4 points ago

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Like if someone was posting screenshots of themselves fucking with their roommates WOW accounts. Only instead of playing a game you like, you got achievements by hauling around wheelbarrows full of mud all day.

[–]f3nd3r 0 points1 point ago

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That's a really strange mental image. I thank you for it.

[–]fuckyoubarry 0 points1 point ago

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That image is more accurate than you realize. "Mud" is slang for wet concrete, and occasionally the most cost effective way to get it to where it needs to be is by wheelbarrow.

[–]f3nd3r 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, I know. I meant the image of you unlocking achievements while laying concrete. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

[–]Indigoh 0 points1 point ago

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If they wanted to fix the damages done, they would have pulled the bike out, but instead they made sure nobody would remove it. Probably punishment. That guy wont get his bike back in one piece.

[–]MRiley84 0 points1 point ago

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They might not have been able to fix it right away, and blocked the bike so it wouldn't be taken before they figured out who was responsible.

[–]Indigoh 0 points1 point ago

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All kinds of possibilities for this photo.

[–]step_x_step 2 points3 points ago

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Nuclear dumbshit award

[–]wheresthegun 11 points12 points ago

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I guess he rode into that one

[–]BinaryRunt 14 points15 points ago

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To bad he didn't stick around.

[–]bizangles 5 points6 points ago

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He didn't really have a concrete reason to.

[–]I_STAB_HIPSTER_FILTH 3 points4 points ago

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His planning was rock-solid

[–]Azelote 2 points3 points ago

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I guess he just got that sinking feeling.

[–]schoocher 0 points1 point ago

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It would be hard not to.

[–]ThePouchMan 6 points7 points ago

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He certainly accidentally rode his bike into some unfinished concrete! Am I right? Heh. Heh. Sigh.

[–]soawesomejohn 1 point2 points ago

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What does that have to do with the photograph?

[–]LouDMont 1 point2 points ago

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That's Ronaldo's bike.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Thats some contemporary art shit right there, they should leave it as it is.

[–]chimpfunkz 1 point2 points ago

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I see calvin found the ultimate solution

[–]VunDola 0 points1 point ago

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Bike eternally trapped!

[–]Grassgrow 1 point2 points ago

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where is that?

[–]kraven420 4 points5 points ago

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Looks like Berlin because of the bus stop sign.

[–]Grassgrow 0 points1 point ago

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omg thats what i thought, becasue that bridge exists in berlin, so it must be, i know that place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]suchmaske 0 points1 point ago

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I know this place too, but I can't really recall the exact place...

[–]Grassgrow 0 points1 point ago

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its right near an S bahn station which is on the right of the picture, and on the left side theres a media markt think

[–]ErrorCmdr 0 points1 point ago

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The concrete was actually solid making this most impressive.

[–]FromaLand 0 points1 point ago

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Not in the nice part of town!

[–]TheSeattleGamer 0 points1 point ago

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LOL now that is a epic skid mark. Did he literally ride that damn thing all the way down the side walk in the wet concrete?

[–]Sil369 0 points1 point ago

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the thumbnail looks like a skeleton strutting down a sidewalk

[–]oxygn 0 points1 point ago

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This is clearly shopped

[–]qwibble 0 points1 point ago

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I say remove the fence and keep it as is. It tells a story now

[–]WINZOW[!] 0 points1 point ago

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  1. Awesome 2. they should make a sculpture out of it.

[–]irighton 0 points1 point ago

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i think ewok is on the right

[–]whatsweirdis 0 points1 point ago

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i don't understand after the first second of realizing the concrete was wet why he kept pedaling instead of picking up the bike?

[–]The_final_chapter 0 points1 point ago

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That's art. Simply messing the concrete would have been wasteful. But that is art. Annoying as hell to someone no doubt, but art all the same.

[–]DriftingJesus 0 points1 point ago

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Fake. It's some kind of "art sculpture"

You don't pour sidewalks in a single stretch like that. They're always broken into smaller sections so that you don't get cracks as they settle.

[–]danieleinad86 0 points1 point ago

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Work of art!!

[–]flo73557 0 points1 point ago

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I sense a permanent 'art installation' in the making.

[–]bottlefed97 0 points1 point ago

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I feel like it took me far too long to figure out what was going on in this picture.

[–]LiquorballSandwich -2 points-1 points ago

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That bike was stolennnnnnnnn

[–]AtTheLeftThere -3 points-2 points ago

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black people.

[–]derrida_n_shit -1 points0 points ago

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I kept telling myself that about games during the summer steam sale. Now I missed it and missed everything.

[–]neostead2000 -2 points-1 points ago

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Am I the only who secretly ride my bike through fresh concrete?