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top 200 commentsshow all 417

[–]Mordizzle 324 points325 points ago

Wow, his is even better! He got a bust of George Washington!

[–]repoman 26 points27 points ago

You are mistaken... that is obviously Victor Garber

[–]Manofpesto 10 points11 points ago

Hey, he could totally play George Washington.

[–]MoonStruckHorrors 11 points12 points ago

Ron Jeremy.

[–]solidtape 482 points483 points ago

Im actually impressed by the effort the seller put in for making the statue, almost looks like something to go in /aww

[–][deleted] 185 points186 points ago

emphasis on the almost.

[–]perfekt_disguize 77 points78 points ago

oh god just the way it stares at you unknowing like. can't stop laughing.

[–]yoy21 15 points16 points ago

No. It knows.

[–]GunRaptor 46 points47 points ago

More like /r/SCP

[–]FOADSASCUM 36 points37 points ago

I don't understand what that is...I'm so confused. scared!

Edit: WTF did you link me too??

[–]AwkwardTurtle 31 points32 points ago

Here is the actual SCP Foundation website:

http://www.scp-wiki.net/

It's a collaborative fiction project.

It's a wiki project that contains the data files on strange, dangerous, and paranormal objects contained at the SCP Foundation. SCP stands for Secure Contain Protect.

The files range from creepy, to funny, to downright terrifying. A lot of the flavor comes from them being written in an incredibly dry way (extremely clinical) but with a lot of the important details redacted.

It's a very very cool website to browse around.

Here's the in universe description of what the Foundation is.

And here's an FAQ for the website. It's mostly targeted at potential authors wanting to join the site, but can shed some light on things.

Keep in mind that neither of things things are required reading (well, unless you want to join the site as a contributor). It's probably more fun to dive in blind, and learn as you go.

A few other things of note:

  • Although there is no official canon to the website, many of the SCPs will connect together and link to each other. So it's very easy to run into the way situation you would while reading wikipedia where you'll be reading one article, then link to another to fully understand this one, and before you know it you have 9 tabs open and can't even remember what you were originally reading.

  • There are some stories also posted on the site. These, like the SCPs, range from terrifying to hilarious. One of my favorites is Duke 'till Dawn and falls under the hilarious category. It's the story of a decommission attempt on a certain SCP (sometimes, when a page gets deleted, they write it a good ending).

  • The community has a very strong quality control mechanism. If a given article isn't up to standards, it's given a chance to be revised, and then deleted to make room for a better. If you want some insight into this click the "Discuss" button at the bottom of the page. It might kill a little bit of the magic for you, but there are some really interesting things in there.

  • There's a lot of "in house" terminology used by the website. I don't think it's explicitly laid out anywhere on the site, but you'll pick up on it fairly quickly.

[–]CaptainSombrero 4 points5 points ago

All that did was get me even more confused.

[–]squeege 71 points72 points ago

Would actually fit in pretty well over at /r/CrappyArt.

[–]tayloraugustus 19 points20 points ago

sell it on Etsy!

[–]Jarrgon 1 point2 points ago

Then have it featured on regretsy.

[–]ewo24 9 points10 points ago

I'm impressed he even made the statue - I mean if you're going to rip someone off, why even bother trying? Maybe he's actually a poor, lonely sculptor looking to distribute his art by any means possible since no one is buying.

[–]artifex0 4 points5 points ago

Honestly, I doubt someone would put that much effort into the eyes and then leave a huge dent in the top.

This looks to me like something went screwy on whatever assembly line produces the official busts, and then some incredibly lazy quality control person just decided to let it slide.

[–]hurdygurdy_sc2 58 points59 points ago

As of right now, the most collectible item in the set is that statue! One of a kind! Hhahahaha

Though I would absolutely LOVE to believe that there's dozens of these hand-crafted(?) sculptures. I'd love love love to see the other forgeries, this is like witnessing unintentional outside art, these should be in a museum.

[–]capsrockbutton 22 points23 points ago

If OP has one of those glass cabinets that geeks fill with statuettes of Balrogs and space marines, this should totally be put front and center.

[–]hurdygurdy_sc2 6 points7 points ago

This could be a gold mine! Intentionally copy and repackage collector's edition of every game. Crudely crafted balrogs(?), space marines/guys in suits(?), a sword(?)...people would buy this on purpose!

[–]Gypsee 2 points3 points ago

You belong in a museum!

[–]XbearFORCEoneX 434 points435 points ago

How is it /v/'s fault he got scammed with a shitty knockoff?

[–]RBubbaMagillicutty 188 points189 points ago

FINALLY, SOMEONE CONCERNED ABOUT JUSTICE

[–]TuneRaider 88 points89 points ago

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE JUSTICES?

[–]Poza 7 points8 points ago

what the fuck. I thought that was a gif.

[–]StevoTheMonkey 16 points17 points ago

She just moves real slow. Real slow and sexy.

[–]andrewms 2 points3 points ago

Seriously. I think the moral of the story is fraud protections on credit cards are pretty sweet.

[–]Inquisitor1 9 points10 points ago

Screenshot is from v/v, so don't trust it about him getting a knockoff.

[–]drumstyx 1 point2 points ago

It's the polish version, not a knockoff. Chances are there's an english language option or at least english subtitles.

[–]XbearFORCEoneX 14 points15 points ago

The problem is the fucked up statue, not that it's in polish. The game was made by a polish company so I doubt that every single polish collector's edition came with a statue that looked like it was made a grade school art class.

[–]Japock 439 points440 points ago

I'm in tears right now.

[–]perfekt_disguize 110 points111 points ago

dude I am at work at a hospital and am literally in tears head down on the desk , this shit is too fucking funny

[–]N307H30N3 27 points28 points ago

hows the whooping cough?

[–]goodzillo 8 points9 points ago

My sister and her kids lost out on coming to the beach with me because her firm was swamped with pertussis reports.

[–]ratajewie 16 points17 points ago

Get her some robipertussin.

[–]Lord_Vectron 14 points15 points ago

Bitches love robipertussin.

[–]bookwrangler 1 point2 points ago

Goddamn anti-vaxers.

[–]_Goose_ 1 point2 points ago

I have bronchitis at the moment and I really wanted to let a laugh go but instead just let out loud air noises with my nose trying to control my laughter in fear of triggering a cough which would then trigger trying to catch my breath before I faint which would then trigger a sweaty forehead.

This shit sucks and I can't laugh at anything.

[–]digitalulz 2 points3 points ago

Go to /r/funny , you'll be safe there

[–]Se7en_Sinner 563 points564 points ago

[–]Fhistleb 36 points37 points ago

i'm laughing blood.... This is a great night.

[–]McSneak 29 points30 points ago

I think you should get to a hospital fairly quick.

[–]Fhistleb 22 points23 points ago

Nah, had the same problem in boot camp. I just need to drink some water and change my socks.

[–]Poke-lord 11 points12 points ago

Why change the socks?

[–]Arx0s 15 points16 points ago

trenchfoot brah

[–]mtheoryx 8 points9 points ago

Lt. Dan is gonna kick your ass.

Well, obviously now he won't kick it. He'll stump it for sure though.

[–]HotSlag 4 points5 points ago

for the Sock Party!!!

[–]HallucinogenicToad 4 points5 points ago

If it gets really bad, you might be able to get some ibuprofen.

[–]Fhistleb 1 point2 points ago

I think you're the only one that got it.

[–]HallucinogenicToad 1 point2 points ago

Just got out of the corps, so yeah I got it haha. Get all 4 wisdom teeth cut out on the same day, 1 day bed rest and ibuprofen.. fuckin seriously?

[–]largerpenis 5 points6 points ago

It's not normal.

[–]YUSOMAD 19 points20 points ago

i died. i literally dont know how i am typing this. so many fucking tears.

[–]GrahamMc 5 points6 points ago

Same, think this is the first time I actually cried laughing at a post on reddit

[–]mitchynz22 25 points26 points ago

And it's a repost from /v/

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Cilph 34 points35 points ago

I laughed so much that I now actually HAVE abs!

[–]MentionsPhysique 50 points51 points ago

My abs hurt so much.

[–]Gentle_Lamp 7 points8 points ago

I laughed for a good 10 minutes because of the sudden zoom.

[–]Gengar1221 7 points8 points ago

I have no idea why this makes me laugh so damn hard. That face.

[–]DeusNoctis 1 point2 points ago

the longer you stare, the worse it gets

[–]redundanthero 1 point2 points ago

I'm a bit high right now, and I wasn't sure if I'm laughing for the sake of it. Thanks for being my control test.

[–]meatwrist 3 points4 points ago

I'm fucking losing it...

[–]Signal09 52 points53 points ago

thats so fucking funny... oh wow.. the effort is too much

[–]Lej 71 points72 points ago

I am DYING laughing at this.. I'm not even sure if I get the joke, but when I saw the statue I almost ruptured my spleen laughing

[–]DarkMagnetar 4 points5 points ago

I am dying laughing to at the statue ,but fortunately I lost my spleen years ago in an accident.

[–]condratov 5 points6 points ago

Lucky you.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Halsfield 79 points80 points ago

wiedzmin2 = witcher 2 in polish

[–]Kelvara 85 points86 points ago

Also, just to clarify, the game is actually made in Poland based on a series of books by a famous Polish author.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Tactful 35 points36 points ago

Get the fuck out of here with your facts and cited sources.

[–]KellyCommaRoy 5 points6 points ago

I don't see any citations.

[–]Dannybaker 1 point2 points ago

He's just harvesting karma with non original comments, leave him alone

[–]jedryczka 72 points73 points ago

I actually have an imported Polish edition of the collector's ed, and it's awesome. The sculpture is not the one in the picture.

[–]potacho 135 points136 points ago

Maybe you're the one with the wrong sculpture.

[–]addandsubtract 127 points128 points ago

- M. Night Shyawiedzmin

[–]djdontcare 9 points10 points ago

Just this once.

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points ago

Thanks for clearing that up.

[–]maaike 40 points41 points ago

I think this is the hardest I've laughed at anything on reddit. I'm serious.

[–]sheepman21 6 points7 points ago

Same here buddy. It's good to know I can still laugh like this.

[–]samout 1 point2 points ago

...and it's from 4chan.

[–]skocznymroczny 22 points23 points ago

I don't understand, doesn't Amazon sell new stuff? I could understand if he bought it on Ebay or something...

[–]Deddan 34 points35 points ago

There is a marketplace type thing, where the public can sell stuff.

[–]trampus1 3 points4 points ago

I've heard it's riddled with counterfeit shit. That's why all the cologne and perfume on Amazon are so cheap, mainly fakes.

[–]Zarllo 89 points90 points ago

Hahahaha that is amazing

[–]dariusbatista 49 points50 points ago

It is. But at the same time. I'd be SO angry.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

I couldn't be mad. It's just so funny.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

Collectors edition. I don't know. Shipping and probably a lot more than a regular game.

[–]andrewms 10 points11 points ago

He bought it from Amazon. Amazon has fantastic customer service, and would bend over backwards to make it right, even if it was a bad actor in their marketplace and not them. And even if they wouldn't, he used a credit card to pay for it, which means he can just dispute it with the card company and be made whole again. He hasn't lost anything except a few days of playing time.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Well that's good to hear. I only made it through half the thread and didn't see that information. I'm glad he won't be significantly troubled by this.

[–]Saicotic 1 point2 points ago

This is like the super-rare special collectors edition. I mean, that statue's gotta be one-of-a-kind.

[–]NSAgent 3 points4 points ago

I'd be mad... If online stores didn't make it so easy to get a refund from a shoddy seller.

[–]spidermonk 2 points3 points ago

Well to be fair the actual thing is shitty too.

[–]HomieGSkillitBiskitt 89 points90 points ago

Why is this so funny.

[–]BattleSalmon 74 points75 points ago

It's because the retard statue looks so defiant and proud.

[–]dcmc6d 44 points45 points ago

Scroll down, it is a jenky ass statue of our first president.

-Edit: It is incredibly interesting seeing the waves of upvotes and downvotes to this comment. Let me explain. As I expected, I got a bit trashed for saying "our" as it is seen offensive to imply that all redditors are Americans. I just typed it out, gave some thought to using "our", and finally forgot what I was giving thought to and pressed enter (clicked save - God forbid I say press enter on account of pressing enter doesn't actually send the message). I digress. During, what I assume to be, peak American usage times, the upvotes flow. Thank you for the upvotes. I, like many others, base my self-worth on these upvotes. It gives me a sort of satisfaction that someone in the world finds me clever, even if it was a subpar effort at humor. Again, I digress. The downvotes flow in at their designated time as well. Point being: America isn't the only country that has internet??!? Oh, hell. Thanks for the memo, Bill from Accounting.

[–]walkingtheriver 21 points22 points ago

Our first president? I'm sorry but you and I don't share presidents. In fact, I never had a president.

You're on an international site ;)

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

Well does it look like any of your kings, dictators, warlords or chieftains?

[–]Uppy 35 points36 points ago

Americans forget that there are other countries sometimes.

[–]winteriscoming2 1 point2 points ago

Is that what lies out in the vast darkness beyond our borders? Countries? How can those exist without freedom?

[–]Paradoxou 3 points4 points ago

wait wait wait .. there's other countries ?!?!?!?! SINCE WHEN

[–]bobbieluvsya 6 points7 points ago

The illegal immigrants have to come from somewhere, doncha know.

[–]buckX 4 points5 points ago

Since we liberated them from communism or dictators or whatever they had going on before we saved them all.

[–]RobFireburn 13 points14 points ago

why do you assume you're included in his "our"?

[–]fiction8 1 point2 points ago

Don't be silly, our presidents are EVERYONE'S presidents. That's how the world works right? We make the decisions for everyone.

[–]walkingtheriver 1 point2 points ago

That is actually true... Many countries including mine, are USA's bitch.

[–]revv3 1 point2 points ago

An "international site" founded in America, by Americans and owned by an American corporation. English is the common tongue and the majority of users are Americans. Could you introduce us to some websites from your country are equally popular internationally?

[–]durpdurpdurpdurpdurp 3 points4 points ago

Like the moon, Reddit is America. America is the United States. Mexico isn't America. Neither is Canada, Cuba, Barbados, Antigua, Venezuela, Colombia, Brazzzil, Cold, Peru, Bolivia, etc. because we're America dammit.

[–]gender_bot 141 points142 points ago

I identified one face in this photo

Face 1:
* 59% confidence that this is a correctly identified face
* Gender is male with 31% confidence
* Approximate Age is 32 with 11% confidence
* Persons mood is angry with 54% confidence
* Persons lips are sealed with 83% confidence

Would you like to know more about me? /r/gender_bot

[–]mrcandyman 24 points25 points ago

This really had me laughing.

[–]computernerd225 16 points17 points ago

Wow, this is the first time I've seen this bot get more upvotes than downvotes.

[–]superphotonerd 16 points17 points ago

oh my gosh i peed myself laughing at this

[–]TheOriginalSamBell 32 points33 points ago

Guy above shat himself, you should exchange numbers or something.

[–]whoisthismilfhere 148 points149 points ago

I laughed so hard I literally shit.

[–]Daiephir 9 points10 points ago

That was an amazing 14 minutes, thank you

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Worth watching it for the last bit. He could be really great if he polishes up his act.

[–]SteelMagnolias 83 points84 points ago

Uh... what?

[–]morzinbo 261 points262 points ago

I laughed so hard I literally shit.

[–]SteelMagnolias 71 points72 points ago

Yes, but I'd think his post would be a little more angry.

More like, "Fuck you, OP, I shit my pants from laughing. Do you know what that's going to do to my underwear? Those stains won't come out with even bleach!"

Instead, he's just so nonchalant about it. Like it happens on a daily occurrence. "Lol, I shit my pants from laughing. Don't worry, happens all the time."

[–]morzinbo 51 points52 points ago

What if he was redditing from the toilet, like so many people claim to? Mission accomplished, right?

[–]SilentLettersSuck 22 points23 points ago

Constipation: cured.

[–]StevoTheMonkey 5 points6 points ago

Whoa. I am right now. You're post has made me realize that it is time to get off the toilet and reddit from the couch.

[–]GotMeFaded 10 points11 points ago

At no point did he say he was wearing pants.

[–]pirate_doug 23 points24 points ago

It's Reddit, man. Pants shitting is what we do.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

To be fair, I mostly do very long skid marks, but that's only because I'm too lazy to dig out the manure itself before washing.

[–]Sarcastic_Samurai 5 points6 points ago

It's probably just a fetish.

[–]captainAwesomePants 2 points3 points ago

You're thinking about this too much. Here, just play the simulation.

[–]Sexybeast- 1 point2 points ago

LOLISMPFL

[–]whoisthismilfhere 10 points11 points ago

Oh yeah, act like I am the only one who reads Reddit while Im on the toilet...

[–]drylube 6 points7 points ago

It's all shit n giggles until someone giggles n shits

[–]DontSayLostMyShit 13 points14 points ago

shat*

[–]thatoneguy889 1 point2 points ago

[–]Akaforty 1 point2 points ago

He's still shitting.

[–]Rellikolbaid 57 points58 points ago

All I see when I look at that statue is feels.

[–]Empz 5 points6 points ago

Oh god, I don't know if I would laugh or be extremely angry... the statue is hilarious!!!!!

[–]JohnnyThunda 3 points4 points ago

This is why I always turn to reddit for a good cry lmao..

[–]JasonYaya 3 points4 points ago

scan that for when we all get 3d printers!

[–]jargoon 9 points10 points ago

RUN NIGGA GEORGE WASHINGTON

[–]KindaImportant 1 point2 points ago

Dat chapelle reference

[–]Axius 2 points3 points ago

I love how the angle of the picture has the er... 'sculpture' as if it's looking at the guy taking the picture with a whole "Yeah, what's up?" attitude from beneath the artbook.

[–]Legosheep 2 points3 points ago

There are many things to blame /v/ for but this isn't one of them. Blame the seller.

Also, /v/ suggested a game? How long have I been sleeping? I thought /v/ HATE games.

[–]sailingstars 2 points3 points ago

[–]chunkmuffins 2 points3 points ago

omg i cant stop laughing... did a 5 year old try to forge the statue?

[–]squeeeeenis 2 points3 points ago

its better because love went into it.

[–]Evolutioneer 2 points3 points ago

Looks sort of like this guy.

[–]abelcc 12 points13 points ago

I'm here to partially ruin the thread, this image is more than 1 years old, and a fake.

Source

[–]latticusnon 5 points6 points ago

People actually do make fake products and sell them on Amazon.

And because it needs to be said: needs more jpeg.

[–]DownvotedByCunts 15 points16 points ago

Other than being posted on /v/, this has nothing to do with /v/.

[–]a_park_bench 10 points11 points ago

First thing the guy says is he bought it based on /v/'s recommendation.

[–]joeDUBstep 1 point2 points ago

LOL!! That looks like a 3rd grade art project.

[–]asdfsalsa 1 point2 points ago

I imagine a scene much like in Goonies, with them trying to glue the dick back on the statue.

[–]Philiatrist 1 point2 points ago

I got kicked out of the bedroom for laughing at this at 3 in the morning.

[–]ZombeeAndroid 1 point2 points ago

Laughing so hard my neck hurts and I feel like I'm dying. Holy shit.

[–]HerrMax 1 point2 points ago

There is no chance he made the statue himself and lied to the internet.

[–]Emerzionn 1 point2 points ago

I'm in tears, lmfao.

[–]stinkyarse 1 point2 points ago

oh fuck, i am in tears laughing at this. fucking gut is killing me. hahaha!

[–]ThouSniffMyGlue 1 point2 points ago

I wish you had of recorded a live "Unboxing Witcher 2" for the world to see.

[–]Nicolas0112358 1 point2 points ago

I'm sorry to say it but that is Carl Gustav Jacobi

[–]KellyCommaRoy 1 point2 points ago

When I get around to participating in a reddit gift exchange, I want that statue.

[–]phil8248 1 point2 points ago

Amazon lists lots of vendors for items. You most likely chose someone who cobbled together this atrocity to cash in. I'd send it back and Amazon will refund your money.

[–]Freak4God 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one that thought it was a bust of Gaben?

[–]mcdavie 1 point2 points ago

Is it me, Or does that look like Ben franklin?

[–]Sokonomi 5 points6 points ago

Nice swag bro. I heard Skiebrim is cool too.

[–]GENOCIDEGeorge 3 points4 points ago

The title of this thread is dumb. It's got nothing to do with "trusting /v/ when buying videogames", it's got more to do with shoddy Amazon sellers. What a stupid title.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I can't breath!

[–]Kerath 1 point2 points ago

Ask CDProjekt... I'm sure they will send you a new one.

[–]FlavoredGelatin 1 point2 points ago

Is /v/ a 4Chan thing? I'm sorry if its a stupid question... but I've never been to 4Chan.

[–]Seizure13 2 points3 points ago

Maybe Ive been on the internet too long, but Im thinking bullshit here.

This guy couldnt of possibly taken a piece of clay, molded that piece of crap bust himself, and trolled you and /v/?

It is 4chan...

[–]Jankk 16 points17 points ago

I want to believe.

[–]Azrael_Ferrum 2 points3 points ago

I think it would be more likely that this would be made up if it was on reddit

[–]shiken 1 point2 points ago

OP actually posted it on 4chan originally... only to be the first to screencap it and bring it to reddit for karma. The rabbit hole goes deeper.

[–]summertimeacid 0 points1 point ago

Looks like a shitty George Washington

[–]reddit_hates_me 1 point2 points ago

well THERES your problem! he bought Wiedzmin 2 instead of Witcher 2...

[–]Gunpla00 1 point2 points ago

r u going to display your statue?

[–]LordCurlyFry 0 points1 point ago

My sides are moving on their own!

[–]tayloraugustus 0 points1 point ago

At first I had a WTF reaction, then I saw the second image and lost it there.

[–]clopclopclopclop 0 points1 point ago

atleast they got the polish right.

[–]LlamaRancher 0 points1 point ago

Oh man that's brilliant most I've laughed in ages!

[–]harrys11 0 points1 point ago

Goodbye, abdomen...

[–]miss_mau5 0 points1 point ago

I didn't see the photo of how it was supposed to be when I first looked. Now I'm literally crying even harder. This is my... favourite thing ever.

[–]midnightbean 0 points1 point ago

Doug Washington.

[–]jimmytruelove 0 points1 point ago

Why is that the moral of the story?

[–]melayumurtad 0 points1 point ago

I stopped laughing, but then I scrolled up again.

[–]evo48 0 points1 point ago

Got yelled at for being too loud due to laughing my ass off. Every time I look at it again I can't hold it in. This is by far one of my favorite Reddit posts of all time.

[–]homohominilupus 0 points1 point ago

I'm dying of laughter.

[–]hdark 0 points1 point ago

If I ever feel bad ever again I'll just look at this picture and hopefully won't have any lung conditions preventing me from laughing painlessly.

[–]TheThirdWheel 0 points1 point ago

Damn I hope this doesn't make this less funny for anyone, but there's no way that plaster George Washington Mr. Potato Head fit in that box. The internals if the box are molded perfectly for the real one. The dedication to the joke by the /v/ poster makes it just as funny to me.

[–]mokkat 0 points1 point ago

I fuckin exploded when I saw that thread yesterday. That sad sad statue...

[–]Prothean_Javik 0 points1 point ago

Aww cool, he got the Weathered edition! It's been out in the rain for thousands of years.

[–]Nabstar 0 points1 point ago

Thank god it is only a image from 4 chan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRKP3VbI41M

[–]Not_Me_But_A_Friend 0 points1 point ago

Pro Tip: Don't Trust 4chan.

[–]ThouSniffMyGlue 0 points1 point ago

Oh my goodness, I have not laughed this hard in ages.

[–]Arx0s 0 points1 point ago

I wanna meet who the fuck actually spent time sculpting shittily made Witcher busts just to scam people with them.

[–]hquarterz 0 points1 point ago

"Good thing its just a picture and not the actual website, im afraid to go there"

[–]CloudCircus 0 points1 point ago

Ya, he should have "bought" steam. I'm sure a couple million dollars will cover it.