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top 200 commentsshow all 345

[–]knylok 295 points296 points ago

Okay, there is a lot of mis-information in your Infographics. Like the elevator one(s). Or the one that advocates sawing off the top of a 9v battery to get at the "other batteries" inside...
Never trust the Internet completely.

[–]Otterfan 65 points66 points ago

I saw a kid try that "hold the floor number button" thing a couple of weeks ago. I had no idea what he was doing.

The "Your Odds of Dying From..." one is pretty far off too. Heart disease is 1 in 388? In the US it's about 1 in 6.

[–]MaxPowerzs 20 points21 points ago

Hold the floor number + Door Close button only works on certain brands of elevators.

While there is some mis-information on here, there's also a LOT of good stuff there as well.

[–]Lutin 2 points3 points ago

Worked on my dorm elevators, as long as you got in right after it opened and before it made the open ding.

[–]dim3tapp 7 points8 points ago

Pretty sure dying from heart disease is a lot lower than getting heart disease.

[–]meter1060 4 points5 points ago

And the rate of getting shot in Canada is astronomically lower than that.

[–]Urban_Savage 1 point2 points ago

I was also confused by the odds of being killed by an asteroid are 1 in a billion or so... but there are 7 billion human beings alive, so does that mean that this has happened a few times?

[–]PoniesRBitchin 47 points48 points ago

It bothered me that they said to "steal a girl's birth control after they have sex," because that's not how it works. You don't take a pill after each time you have sex, you take one pill a day, and it lasts for 24 hours.

Minor point, but I get mad when people don't know how a very common medication is used.

[–]ErrantWhimsy 36 points37 points ago

I seem to be the only one disturbed by the genuinely dangerous things like shutting off stoplights or breaking necks or various explosives. OP has some issues.

[–]ApatheticElephant 2 points3 points ago

Who looks at a diagram for a USB Drive bomb and thinks "Oh yeah, this will be useful."?

[–]irrelephantusrname 14 points15 points ago

I don't know why people talk about the zombie apocalypse scenarios; I'm more frightened of people who publish and collect these pieces.

The most dangerous kinds of people are those with deeply irrational mindsets that consider any of these malicious plots good ideas.

[–]bromadon 9 points10 points ago

people just grab these off the internet and most of the time never do anything more than read them. What's wrong with knowing how to do these things if i never plan on actually using that knowledge? Bad people will always find a way to do bad things, with or without the aid of such pictures

[–]Falmarri 2 points3 points ago

I'm more frightened of people who publish and collect these pieces.

These people will be the your saviors when the revolution comes.

[–]stalk_of_fennel 17 points18 points ago

ummm... doesn't really work like that either but whatever.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

Fuck, the elevator one is the only one that interested me.

[–]ferrarisnowday 7 points8 points ago

It works, but not on all elevators.

[–]Chumkil 4 points5 points ago

I have never seen it work, ever. Been trying it for years.

About the only time it "works" is when no one else summons the elevator. So, it is useless.

[–]ferrarisnowday 4 points5 points ago

It has worked for me in hospital elevators at lunch time. We're talking 5 minute waits just to get a car, plus stopping on at least every other floor without doing this. I tried it and it worked a few times, but since it's mostly bypassing patients, friends, and family, I feel too guilty about it to continue with it on a regular basis.

[–]FireReadyAim 13 points14 points ago

In many elevators the door close button is literally not connected to anything, so it definitely doesn't work in "all elevators" as they suggest.

[–]candlestick 19 points20 points ago

Actually that isn't entirely accurate. The door close button does literally nothing while on automatic (normal) operation. It's there for when the elevator is in a different service, like Fire or Inspection.

The Door Close button doesn't work on Automatic operation because the American Disabilities Act defines a minimum time doors must stay open.

Sorry I'm a software Engineer for an elevator company and rarely is my knowledge of elevators useful or relevant.

[–]desenagrator 6 points7 points ago

My whole life is a lie.

[–]dorfydorf 7 points8 points ago

Does the coke machine cheat work?

[–]tradersam 1 point2 points ago

It will get you into the operations menu but that's about it. The code for coke machines is 4231 btw.

[–]HyruleanHero1988 9 points10 points ago

The 9v one works, try it. There actually are size AAAA in most 9v batteries. Don't announce that it is a lie until you actually try it.

[–]bktz 6 points7 points ago

1 in 3 statistics are made up, so this makes sense.

[–]WiLL-I-was 13 points14 points ago

A lot of them were very interesting. I'm an elevator mechanic and the elevator trick is complete BS. Maybe a repost after the constructive criticism?

[–]twispy 9 points10 points ago

If they know that 100% of agriculture in Italy is owned by the Mafia and the Russian Mob, why don't they just arrest all the farmers?

[–]NoNeedForAName 1 point2 points ago

The fact that they control it doesn't mean that everyone in the industry is in the Mafia or Russian Mob. Kinda like how most Americans aren't jackasses, even though our politicians are.

Also, unless the law is different in Italy, they can't arrest you simply for being in the mob.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]case9 200 points201 points ago

Half of this stuff is bullshit

[–]JupitersClock 17 points18 points ago

How am I suppose to know which ones are bullshit!?

[–]Outofmany 10 points11 points ago

I can tie my tie four ways, that makes me cooler than you.

[–]phonein 14 points15 points ago

And they all look exactly the same.

[–]Bleeding_Madras 4 points5 points ago

No they don't. Four in hand is skinny with a bevelled top and should only be worn by hipsters, people with short necks or when the tie is a heavy material. Half Windsor (and shell) is a larger knot and is good for everyday wear for the everyday person. The Windsor knot is the largest and most confident (also my favourite). I wear it with a spread collar shirt and an executive suit, it shows power and strength.

Worked with suits all through high school and need to wear them all the time now.

[–]flying-sheep 0 points1 point ago

it shows power and strength

Are you kidding me?

[–]flying-sheep 2 points3 points ago

  1. Throw out the ones about harming people. They may not be bullshit in that they don't work, but you certainly want no life in which you have to use them.
  2. Discuss oldfag's advice with a honest, equally old woman. He is a misogynist douche without any clue about depression, but has some good points, too.
  3. Try the stuff that can't harm you or others. Worst that can happen is that your microwave is full of meh-tasting brownie sludge.
  4. Save the stuff which you'll probably need in case of an emergency (e.g. hobo stove) and look at it sometimes. If you need it, you'll be happy you know them, else no harm is done either.

[–]arcadeguy 58 points59 points ago

I was done reading when it told me to stop buying milk because it's too expensive.

[–]sheriff_skullface 10 points11 points ago

The context was important. It was advice for people who are really poor/paycheck to paycheck.

[–]arcadeguy 14 points15 points ago

If someone seriously can't afford milk then they probably aren't perusing life tips on Reddit.

[–]sheriff_skullface 6 points7 points ago

That's a fair point.

[–]arcadeguy 6 points7 points ago

It's sad that I get flustered when people are pleasant and amicable. I don't know how to respond.

[–]sheriff_skullface 12 points13 points ago

Fuck you, asshole!

[–]nambio 7 points8 points ago

And the other half isn't legible since OP resized the images too small.

[–]ohnoiamaseed 2 points3 points ago

And then he has pictures that are fucking huge and I have to zoomout a fuck ton.

[–]trending_hipster 4 points5 points ago

Especially the advice from that bitter old guy.

[–]uraniumballoon 55 points56 points ago

How you can live to 100:

  • Be outgoing

Fuck.

[–]laser-face 6 points7 points ago

Only outgoing people want to live to be 100 anyway

[–]MKSLAYER97 88 points89 points ago

I kept scrolling looking for porn. I was disappointed not to find any.

[–]_Mattman_ 31 points32 points ago

Yeah, I sped right on through looking for the unsavory ones

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]asgafrat 7 points8 points ago

I thought it was because of the "how to draw the human body" sketches. Is there a larger version of that picture with visible text?

[–]maizecolon 3 points4 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]asgafrat 1 point2 points ago

Well, thanks for the post!

[–]stphni 13 points14 points ago

As soon as I saw NSFW and how-to, I was expecting to see this.

edit: HEY GUYS THAT'S A NSFW LINK

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

What's the point of this?

[–]trancendominant 12 points13 points ago

I could have gotten karma for dumping my info folder? Lesson learned.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]krl1327 2 points3 points ago

So you'll upvote it once?

[–]trancendominant 1 point2 points ago

I'm hoping he stays awake for days creating throwaways, just for the sole purpose of upvoting my repost thread.

[–]spurious_interrupt 11 points12 points ago

I read all of this, and now consequences will never be the same.

[–]haiku_robot 19 points20 points ago

I read all of this, 
and now consequences will 
never be the same.

[–]Scrubtanic 6 points7 points ago

That's creepy haiku_

robot. I love you, man, but

That's pretty creepy

[–]RubiksTree 2 points3 points ago

You've been backtraced.

[–]becoolhunnybunny 61 points62 points ago

I liked this post until I got to the one where the older gentleman was talking to young males only.

Honor is a male abstraction. Don't expect women to understand.

:( and I stopped reading.

[–]SerialEndosymbiosis 39 points40 points ago

I stopped reading after he said that women are already too neurotic and emotional to want to deal with an emotional guy. eyeroll

[–]CaturdayInThePark 34 points35 points ago

At your age women are overvalued in society

and

Never marry a woman unless she loves you more than you love her

seemed pretty harsh to me.

[–]Sornos 16 points17 points ago

At your age women are overvalued in society

This is true through. From teenage years up until late thirties, it's women who have control in dating. Up into the forties and fifties, a single man has more value than a single woman.

It's not harsh, it's just the social dynamic we have.

[–]daddyslittledefect 6 points7 points ago

Yep, same. That second one was what really bothered me.

[–]tinyasshamburgers 1 point2 points ago

yeah, what the fuck

[–]Machinax 3 points4 points ago

I gave up when it came to the Christian one. Seriously? An infogram to explain your beliefs (or lack thereof)?

[–]adumbfetus 1 point2 points ago

Seriously, I usually just brush off what people say about Christianity, but that info-gram peeved me a tad bit, and plenty of the things were wrong/exaggerated.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Darkstrategy 6 points7 points ago

Yea... I like how he's trying to speak for all depressed people. Depression isn't painful, that's not why people go out and kill themselves to make it stop, right?

[–]fairypuff 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, wtf? Do they know from personal experience? It sure doesn't seem like it.

[–]Ellebogen 12 points13 points ago

Here's a pro tip to anyone looking for some advice: Old men, while having experienced quite a bit in their day, are NOT the end-all, be-all source of knowledge. This man is misogynistic and obviously doesn't understand depression, but because a few of his points are correct, some people will refuse to take any other advice from him with a grain of salt.

[–]cunninglinguist81 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, seemed pretty suspect. The bit about only marrying a woman who loves you more than you her, and his tunnel-vision explanation for depression...weird stuff. I thought he bullseyed a few things but others weren't even on the dartboard...

[–]greyfoxv1 5 points6 points ago

I don't know what you guys are talking about. I found this really informative since now I know not to grow up to be a bitter, angry old man.

[–]MorboBilo 4 points5 points ago

He's an old man posting on 4chan. People his age usually have prioritized things more wisely, no reason to think he's got manhood figured out.

[–]oyeboy 18 points19 points ago

[–]dabezian 8 points9 points ago

I'm still getting mindfucked by the first one.

[–]Alascar 2 points3 points ago

I need that gif in video form so I can pause and rewind it, because that is the only way I will have a chance at doing it.

[–]shoffing 7 points8 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/1nQt0.jpg

Is that a USB bomb?

[–]Grinch420 12 points13 points ago

yea... all you need is some plastic explosives!

[–]Darkstrategy 4 points5 points ago

Military grade explosives? Psht. Easymode to get.

Yes, I am joking to anyone monitoring my internet ಠ_ಠ

[–]linlorienelen 3 points4 points ago

I... I think so.

Are we all on lists now?

[–]MisterUNO 3 points4 points ago

Well shit. I just wanted to browse reddit for a couple hours.

[–]C0mmun1ty 3 points4 points ago

The Russian Mafia provides submarines for drug running?

[–]Bears_in_Bowlers 19 points20 points ago

There's a pretty cool website call infothread.org that has tons of this stuff. Some of it is NSFW, just so you're aware.

[–]Aspel 9 points10 points ago

I like that you have the Oldfag advice from 4chan and his first thing is "atheists are just as annoying as the religious" and then you have that really annoying "why do you believe in God?" thing.

Also, I feel like you just hung around /adv/. Or /b/.

I don't think there's much here that I haven't seen.

[–]cardina16 8 points9 points ago

Is this on your pinterest?

[–]r0bbiedigital 3 points4 points ago

how-to-take-down-bin laden... hmmmm ... and the traffic light button trick for cops? this just seems like a troll

[–]LeonJones 2 points3 points ago

I have a bunch of these with literally hours of reading all in a .zip file from 4chan. It's like over 700 mb of stuff on every topic.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]jimithing_420 4 points5 points ago

No way in hell shopping on Black friday kills 550 people annually

[–]irrelephantusrname 1 point2 points ago

Black ice. I'd believe it. That stuff is near invisible.

[–]Bongson 3 points4 points ago

So I'm like, totes feeling feels right now bros.

The old /b/ guy and the thing he said about depression. Just realized I've been supressing anger for years and I think that may be why I am depressed. I could never think of a real reason why I was.

[–]amap100 11 points12 points ago

so for the hand signals one, if i ever saw the "shotgun" symbol, no matter how quiet we had to be, i would bust out laughing... just saying.

[–]hungry-ghost 2 points3 points ago

and i hope to god there are never seven enemies.

edit: god not got

[–]gh0st3000 2 points3 points ago

That infographic is incorrect, the correct signal for seven enemies is muttering "fuck that" and briskly walking away

[–]LazyVisionary 5 points6 points ago

I am syrian and number 42 is wrong.

[–]jakkarth 12 points13 points ago

If ever there was a poster that should have read rule 1...

[–]bananabelle 2 points3 points ago

I don't understand why half of these need to be on an image format. Wtf?

[–]HiyaGeorgie 2 points3 points ago

3 minute microwave brownies look good...you try that yet?

[–]HerDarkMaterials 2 points3 points ago

I tried them a while back... It did not end well. Burnt on outside, goop that never rose on the inside. Betty Crocker makes instant brownies, though!

[–]smackfairy 2 points3 points ago

It's ok but this peanut butter one has a lot better results. Seriously it's fucking delicious. I have made it several times and I have put in my own twists in a few(added maple flavouring once... agkjdaj;dlskjag;).

[–]travworld 2 points3 points ago

Wait, do people actually pay to use air at a gas station? I'm in Canada, Vancouver area and every thing I see to fill up my tires is free to use the air...

[–]kenebriated 1 point2 points ago

We pay in Ontario. I pay $0.50 - $1.00 to fill my tires. Pump runs for about 2 or 3 minutes.

[–]th3p0l4rb34r 2 points3 points ago

Took some combing through but there is some great information on here but the vast majority seems to be old 4chan /b/ threads.

[–]GammaGames 2 points3 points ago

I dont get the pointy stick one (usb bomb?)

[–]Dr_Fix 2 points3 points ago

indeed. though i imagine plastic explosives would be unnecessary. off the top of my head, why couldn't one take firecrackers to accomplish the same thing, with simply less boom?

hrm.. actually, that's not a bad prank of sorts. something like a single small firecracker, a loosely assembled shell, possibly some additional vent holes, and tada.

[–]millz1234 7 points8 points ago

I'll get to it one day. Save

[–]32koala 13 points14 points ago

NO YOU WON"T LIAR.

[–]millz1234 3 points4 points ago

Yeah you're right.

[–]JasonUncensored 6 points7 points ago

A lot of this is crap, but some of it is gold. Solid gold.

[–]Freddie_AppsHero 3 points4 points ago

No. 42: In German, "fich dich" means "fuck you" in the most literal sense. It's like saying "sex you". Doesn't really work as an insult.

[–]flying-sheep 2 points3 points ago

Wat. As a German I have to say that you are totally wrong.

"Fick dich" in German means both literally and figuratively exactly the same as "fuck you". (Just like "ich finde" and "I find")

[–]blessedbe111 1 point2 points ago

Thanks! Downloaded the whole album ... not sure all of it is 100% true though.

[–]sousuki91 1 point2 points ago

much appreciated

[–]gadnium 1 point2 points ago

Saving for later. Howtos!

P.S. thanks

[–]right_in_two 1 point2 points ago

Has anyone verified that the Pepsi machine(33) and traffic light(34) hacks work?

[–]heroinsteve 0 points1 point ago

I've tryed the vending machine one before and it doesn't work. I'm assuming the traffic light one won't work. Most of those buttons for crosswalks don't even work nowadays, they are just there for your peace of mind. Another one that doesn't work is the elevator one. I tryed it... multiple times.

[–]Belisama370 1 point2 points ago

I get somebody try the mp3 thing every term. Got so much free music that way.

[–]juvenilepunk 1 point2 points ago

Can anyone confirm the crosswalk red light troll?

[–]Grackyeck 1 point2 points ago

The Pointy Stick is just plain stupid. C4 doesn't detonate via ignition.

[–]CarpetFibers 1 point2 points ago

Not to mention where the fuck are you just gonna go and buy C4?

[–]MarkG777 1 point2 points ago

I will definitely be using the chocolate balloon how to!

[–]HolyBananas 1 point2 points ago

I see that there's 71 of them, but I can't stop looking at the 1st one...

[–]Less_than_5 1 point2 points ago

Trig chart is very helpful. Will be using that one.

Thank you

[–]nataconda 1 point2 points ago

I just saw the infographic on trigonometry properties and cringed. It brought me back to those days

[–]ericishere 1 point2 points ago

I don't understand the one with sharpshooter circle.

[–]Dardove 1 point2 points ago

It is explain the likely problem if you shoot for the center and hit one of the outer areas instead. Knowing your problem will help you adjust to fix it so you can be a better shot.

[–]GENERIC_VULGARNESS 1 point2 points ago

Thank you so much for this.

[–]othersomethings 1 point2 points ago

The pancakes and bacon one...wow. How have I lived 30 years without thinking of that?

[–]IronGranny 1 point2 points ago

the extra time on an assignment one works. I tried it with my history teacher and she was so lazy she just gave me like a b+

[–]skeeto 1 point2 points ago

Looking through that was a little like browsing The Anarchist Cookbook -- interesting but lots of bullshit.

[–]HugeTrebleKeith 1 point2 points ago

What kind of belt do I wear with a suit? No belt?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]apullin 1 point2 points ago

All of these are going to be reposted individually over the next 3 days.

[–]voodoogod 1 point2 points ago

Someone saw the infograph thread on /b/ tonight

[–]Maarek 1 point2 points ago

I know this has been said before, but that shirt folding one is some kind of sorcery.

[–]oneinchterror 1 point2 points ago

the brownies are...... okay

[–]SteampunkPinion 1 point2 points ago

I'm really interested in some higher res versions of the body drawing guide and emotions and expressions guide. Do you have the source?

[–]cheesefondue 1 point2 points ago

It blew my mind that human beings are the only animals that can draw straight lines. All those years of trying to teach my dog to do this were a complete waste of time! Time to move on to circles I guess.

[–]ChalkyJones 1 point2 points ago

Bacon. Fucking. Pancakes.

[–]OriginalGGG 2 points3 points ago

Holy jolly roger anarchist cookbook!

[–]jdpruitt 3 points4 points ago

Dat resolution

[–]Bullshots 5 points6 points ago

I feel like every single one of these posts are from 4chan.

[–]cerealkiller155 2 points3 points ago

The weapon how to's make me nervous...

[–]waywaybaairwa 3 points4 points ago

I haven't made it through all of them yet, but I'm definitely saving this. I rather enjoyed the "hacks" section.

[–]ekohfa 1 point2 points ago

Another life hack: you can bring your dog with you (leashed) into almost any hardware store, including the major chains!

[–]Apostolate 2 points3 points ago

Thanks for the effort of this post.

[–]thunglyfe 1 point2 points ago

I watched the first how-to for about 10 minutes and I still can't comprehend the sorcery that took place.

[–]And_Everything 1 point2 points ago

The "how to fuck someones life up" thing at the bottom was gayer than 5 guys blowing 6 guys.

[–]Amigobear 2 points3 points ago

/ck/... you got this shit from 4chan didn't you

[–]ziemacaustin -1 points0 points ago

Comment

[–]SilverContrails 0 points1 point ago

TIL Pigeon Rank is a real thing.

[–]Gunslingermomo 0 points1 point ago

Comment to reference later. Good stuff

[–]kattrinee 0 points1 point ago

Good compilation, but we all know how those chocolate bowls turn out.

[–]Cale9 0 points1 point ago

There are some really cool things on your list sir, thank you for posting this.

[–]connorbonnor 0 points1 point ago

If that stuff about the russian mafia is true, that is crazy.

[–]jinklmun 0 points1 point ago

I read every single one. Damn you. 2 hours later.

[–]Heroshade 0 points1 point ago

Why does the expression I use for nut-cupping mean 'dog' in SWAT-speak?

[–]paul_swimmer 0 points1 point ago

Some of these don't work. I tried them

[–]charol_astra 0 points1 point ago

thanks!

[–]floresdelmar 0 points1 point ago

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

[–]keep_the_karma 0 points1 point ago

Commenting for future reference.

[–]Venjamin 0 points1 point ago

They need labels

[–]killerumbrellas 0 points1 point ago

Cool stuff.

[–]IceLegger 0 points1 point ago

This is great!

[–]Tranger 0 points1 point ago

The "Pointy stick" is nice, i dont think i can get C4 though.

[–]AdaroTeiji 0 points1 point ago

I know a bunch of these are wrong, and a lot of the other ones aren't even readable >.>

[–]forsaken318 0 points1 point ago

Awesome collection

[–]MrDoubleE 0 points1 point ago

Forget school! Just make kids do K-8th grade, then, memorize this...

[–]mdr270 0 points1 point ago

I've had the first non-gif pic saved for about a year on my desktop... Its proved necessary.

[–]FrostByt 0 points1 point ago

I already knew all that!

[–]deadpansnarker 0 points1 point ago

Is the "pointy stick" one just a usb bomb or am I missing something?

[–]max86234 0 points1 point ago

nice!

[–]Armrestinc 0 points1 point ago

This comment is a placeholder. I'm on my phone with no compy for another day and don't want to lose this thread.

[–]fullcircle_bflo 0 points1 point ago

No Ice Soap of 2AM Chili. I am disappoint.

[–]Robby712 0 points1 point ago

If anyone has any info as to where the EASY HEADS" portion of this comes from I'd love to visit the website or buy the book.

[–]oyeboy 0 points1 point ago

oldguyfag. I like that guy.

[–]KidCosby 0 points1 point ago

Why is there a guide for a flash-drive bomb?

[–]GS540 0 points1 point ago

I've been trying the first one for the past 10 mins and it just doesn't work.

[–]myusernameranoutofsp 0 points1 point ago

[–]enjoylol 0 points1 point ago

The Mariana Trench one really made me think. Awesome stuff.

[–]Jonny_Watts 0 points1 point ago

Things like these make me wish I had a photographic memory.

[–]gofightwin 0 points1 point ago

Ran to my kitchen when I read the seran wrap one. For those that missed it, seran wrap and aluminum foil have push tabs on the end to prevent the roll from coming out.

[–]kiwitron 0 points1 point ago

Cartridge trap? Really?

[–]inmatarian 0 points1 point ago

Where's the one that shows how to tie up a woman so she can wear it under her clothes all day?

[–]Cantora 0 points1 point ago

you're a champion. you should have just kept it to yourself and released it in book format, after getting all the approvals.

[–]Stephenhansonnn 0 points1 point ago

Wundebar. Just fucking wundebar.

[–]novadaemon 0 points1 point ago

This post is going to break imgur.

[–]CrazyBoxLady 0 points1 point ago

TIL why pirates wear eye patches.

[–]youforgotyourBAGS 0 points1 point ago

How does putting a towel on your pillow prevent acne? Does it get rid of the oils in your skin?

[–]Moose_Kin 0 points1 point ago

lots of good info here

[–]CoyoteStark 0 points1 point ago

Aaaaaaaaand saved.

Edit: forgot an a.