How to take the last donut.

statistical_anemone · 2 months

I just take half of it. Then wait two minutes, and half of what's left. Then again. And again. It's Zeno's paradox of donuts, brownies, and pizza.

Edit: Whoops.

ODoyle_Rules · 2 months

1: Hold the doughnut aloft, holding on to it carefully without touching too much. 2: Ask if anyone would like to split it. 3: When someone says yes, look them in the eyes and shove the whole thing into your mouth. 4: Don't break eye contact until you're finished eating.

GGoodman09 · 2 months

Pretend it's goatse?

mkhorn · 2 months

I just take the last fucking donut.

TheGoalie01 · 2 months

That date is my actual birthday..

MetalBiscuits87 · 2 months

Done that before but they forgot to mention longing eyes

Knozix · 2 months

Friday the 13th.

mackinoncougars · 2 months

Then take a single bite, say you're full, and throw it away.

j3enson · 2 months

Donut ...doughnut?.. Fuck

mathius123 · 2 months

Wrong. Wait until no one is looking and wrap donut quickly in napkins so as not to expose said donut. Walk with your precious cargo placed at your hip and don't make eye contact with anyone on the way back to your desk. Eat donut and let the endorphine orgy commence.

bagelpusher · 2 months

Better idea: Accidentally spill a cup of coffee over a full box of donuts and take all of them.

greenvein · 2 months

Am I the only one who would not do this because you would get your hands dirty?

pizz901 · 2 months

There was this one time, I don't really like to talk about it but it's relevant. I was a wee lad of about 8 or so. My favorite donut in the whole world was boston kreme and we had one left in my house after the dozen of other donuts getting destroyed. I excitedly put it on my plate and went past my aunt who was at the table playing solitaire. I go to give her a hug because I hadn't seen her yet that morning and instead of hugging me she takes the donut off my plate and takes a huge bite out of it. Then laughed as I stood there lost in utter sadness. Moral of the story is there will always be someone who is on a mission to destroy your attempt at last donut glory.

Deckurr · 2 months

Am I the only one that really doesn't like donuts?

Krakatoacoo · 2 months

Best tear off calender ever!

recursive · 2 months

Just eat the fucking donut, you pussy.

itssbrian · 2 months

This could also be in r/lifeprotips

SIckminded_fuck · 2 months

Me Gusta..?

ceri23 · 2 months

A whataburger commercial taught me a valuable lesson.

If you're running late for work, stop by and pick up a family pack of breakfast burritos. That way, you're not the guy that showed up late. You're the guy that brought breakfast for the office. Costs a little money, but if you're a salaried employee then you got paid for that time you were late to work anyway.

JeremyJustin · 2 months

No. There's always gonna be that one fucker that'll still take half.

jzboston8 · 2 months

And then yell, "My germs!"

Icekommander · 2 months

MAN SKILLS

junglist313 · 2 months

I do this and I never realized I am doing it until this very moment.

thedevilsdictionary · 2 months

How to take the last bit of karma from a repost.

bzeurunkl · 2 months

Please tell me this was printed ON a box of doughnuts. That would be cool!

Jeroknite · 2 months

How to take back the last doughnut from that guy.

Proclaim, "I want that doughnut, I will split it with you!" Lick the inside of the doughnut's hole as sensually as possible.

Tanks4me · 2 months

Nonononono, you gotta lick the whole thing and yell "HAHAHHAHAHHAHH." So unless you have a really kinky SO in the room you should be fine.

rburth · 2 months

I have the same page-a-day calendar on my dresser and distinctly remember that day.

Mrsmithe · 2 months

What calendar is this from? I want to get one like this.

Makido · 2 months

The last one is always a plain one. You can have it.

Freis · 2 months

Don't forget to cough into your hands before handling the doughnut.

supashiznit · 2 months

Anyone else notice that its Friday the 13th, and so the bad luck begins with losing the oppertunity to obtain the last doughnut

thatfancychap · 2 months

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2nEXHvzwW4 Obligatory

remug · 2 months

you know someone will be gross enough to say yes. what then?

DONUT_PENETRATOR · 2 months

Damn right.

Dirnsak · 2 months

go ahead and have it you fat fuck

AnonymousPirate · 2 months

i had this calender.

ThatLaggyNoob · 2 months

I've seen people do this and I still take them up on their offer. Fuck bacteria, it's the last donut!

Cygggy · 2 months

GOATSE

revel5150 · 2 months

When you feel guilty about taking the last donut/cookie etc.. there is one thing you can do to nullify any guilt. You take the last one, right there in front of everybody, and then you throw the remaining box/container away! Nobody does this. I do. Because i'm not a fucking scumbag. If I see somebody take the last donut but then throw the box away properly then I must give that person the thumbs up! --- It is the one who keeps leaving the empty bags and boxes of cookies in the pantry room that I want to cut from ear to ear.

MarBakwas · 2 months

Please. I just lick the entire thing.

enakro · 2 months

Dat face

STIPULATE · 2 months

Why I read as "daughter's surface area" I do not know.

Micr0waveMan · 2 months

I was expecting the old gif of batman running through a crowd, but holding a donut over his head. Kinda disappointed that I doubt I'll ever see that now...

wardword · 2 months

Yay! This is my birthday.

INFEKTEK · 2 months

Anyone else think of Goatse?

Hantom117 · 2 months

I usually just give them the hole

sebi0301 · 2 months

it's friday the 13th and the last donut is gone...

rubbyrobbins · 2 months

That date was my 21st birthday. Worst day of my life.

whileyouwereliving · 2 months

OMG, friday, the 13th. Stop eating it, that donut is fucking cursed!!!

GDMFusername · 2 months

I never feel bad about taking that last of something, I just figure it's gonna happen whether it's me or someone else, and that's the way it should happen.

frankdell · 2 months

When someone offers donuts, I always say "I'll take the last one." I don't want to eat too many donuts, but I do want some donut, and no one wants to take the last one. Everyone wins.

hybridthm · 2 months

Why would you want more than 1 doughnut?

brussels4breakfast · 2 months

Don't forget to lick it.

BeenADickArnold · 2 months

"Which nigger took the last donut?"

kindatoska · 2 months

donut is goatse

adamrvoss · 2 months

Goatse.

HasBeenPostedBefore · 2 months

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ofz0l/how_to_take_the_last_doughnut/

orronzo · 2 months

one word: germophobe

IMApersonAMA · 2 months

Stealth Goatse. The internet has ruined me.

susrev · 2 months

I like how punchably smug they drew the face. Makes the whole image.

shebeen57 · 2 months

There was this one time, I don't really like to talk about it but it's relevant. I was a wee lad of about 8 or so. My favorite donut in the whole world was boston kreme and we had one left in my house after the dozen of other donuts getting destroyed. I excitedly put it on my plate and went past my aunt who was at the table playing solitaire. I go to give her a hug because I hadn't seen her yet that morning and instead of hugging me she takes the donut off my plate and takes a huge bite out of it. Then laughed as I stood there lost in utter sadness. Moral of the story is there will always be someone who is on a mission to destroy your attempt at last donut glory.

jhoudiey · 2 months

good advice on a fat kids birthday (aka, mine. fuck yea donuts).

justmadethisaccountt · 2 months

Make sure to have a shit eating grin on your face while you do it. The coworkers will love that.

MonkeyWrench · 2 months

All I can see is Goatse....damn you internet

CHECKyoSIX · 2 months

REPOST

CheesemooG · 2 months

any one else see goatse?

enphinite · 2 months

repost

yourVneckISgay · 2 months

Am I the only one that donuts know this a repost?

YeaIAmThatGuy · 2 months

Anybody else notice this was on Friday 13th?

JeanClaudeVasDeferin · 2 months

Thats what i do with your mom's vag

I_am_not_angry · 2 months

If you do this... Fuck you !

UnsafeSubmarine · 2 months

did anyone notice that it was friday the 13th??

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