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1702
1703

Tortoise faceplant (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by simon_wang12

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[–]fangsby 143 points144 points ago

The back legs are priceless.

[–]Sanitary_Lumpkin 25 points26 points ago

Everything has its own price.

[–]freeq84 20 points21 points ago

This one costs 54 Lols

[–]lifecando 13 points14 points ago

Goddamnit, I only have few chuckles.

[–]Kiassen 8 points9 points ago

Well... I suppose I can cut a couple lols and a giggle off... but you owe me!

[–]WhyAmINotStudying 5 points6 points ago

I know a guy who is into tortoises. I'll see if I can get him to come around here and check this out.

[–]MatterMass 0 points1 point ago

The part of the pig between the tail and the anus?

[–]toritxtornado 0 points1 point ago

All magic comes with a price.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Ebassett101 3 points4 points ago

No.

[–]millivolt 102 points103 points ago

I had a tortoise with a little log hut just like that one. He used to do this exact same thing.

So every time he climbed on top of his hut, we'd say "No, Yoda! You have so much left to live for!"

[–]MrBaldwick 103 points104 points ago

Jump, I will.

[–]dracozeitgeist 15 points16 points ago

Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.

[–]LetsHavePun -3 points-2 points ago

Yoda was a great guy (thing?) but that was the biggest bullshit I have ever heard.

[–]standupstanddown 2 points3 points ago

The Jedi live on detachment, it's how they are capable of truly understanding the force. Also, in that universe, negative feelings really could take Jedi down a dark path, because the Dark Side is VERY powerful. Also, it does make a bit of sense (sounds a bit like Buddhism, but to the extreme it seems).

[–]JonnyTHM 0 points1 point ago

The prequels had a bit of a strange philosophy to them didn't they? The way he talked in the original trilogy seemed a lot more.... wise.

[–]standupstanddown 0 points1 point ago

Very true. But I'd say in the prequels the Jedi did have reason to sacrifice some beliefs. In the case of Sidius, Mace had the right idea in attempting to kill him. Also, the Jedi really never got so deep into republic politics before, so the interaction alone could corrupt or change their beliefs. Ether that, or Lucas just didn't deliver on the same level with his writing, making the philosophy seem less wise as a result.

[–]JonnyTHM 0 points1 point ago

I'd say it was more like he had fewer people working on the script with him. The original trilogy had a lot of folks writing it, I don't know if the prequels were as much of a team effort rather than just him.

[–]standupstanddown 0 points1 point ago

Or perhaps it was still a team effort, corrupted by modern ideas of how movies should be? A lot changed in the 20+ years between episode IV and I. All in all, I don't think they were bad at all, they were just different.

[–]JonnyTHM 0 points1 point ago

You should watch this review on it. While I think that there was a lot that you can disagree with in it, it is a pretty comprehensive break down on episode I.

Beware some very dark off color humor here.

They also did Episode II and Episode III though I don't think they are as good as the one for episode I

[–]Lucas_Steinwalker 0 points1 point ago

The only thing that makes it more extreme than buddhism is the laser swords.

[–]jvfmasterchief 1 point2 points ago

That made my fucking day! XD

[–]I_Am_Not_An_Expert 6 points7 points ago

My tortoise will faceplant into his water dish, then just stay underwater like he's trying to drown himself.

[–]balr 5 points6 points ago

That's why you don't put too much water in a water dish. There should be just enough for the tortoise to drink (through the nose btw) but not enough for them to drown.

[–]I_Am_Not_An_Expert 4 points5 points ago

It's all good, it's not a dangerous level. There is a nice ramp for him.

[–]Ben421 0 points1 point ago

Til that tortoises drink through their noses

[–]bunbunbunbun 2 points3 points ago

My box turtle does this with anything he can climb. Oh look a stair? Let me just DIVE RIGHT OFF IT.

Thank god he knows how to right himself if he falls on his back.

[–]Chachoregard 1 point2 points ago

Did you tell him "DO A FLIP!" ?

[–]jamintime 60 points61 points ago

I have a greek tortoise, too, and he is just as derp as the GIF shows. We keep finding him on his back from climbing on and off of stuff. I don't understand how evolution allowed for this.

[–]Iamsqueegee 35 points36 points ago

Sounds like the Greek tortoise is the adrenaline junky of the testudine order. Gravity allows it to move waaaay faster than it's own little legs can carry it. Climb something and teeter off of it, "WOO-HOOOOOO!"

[–]chime 12 points13 points ago

Reminds me of this.

[–]alexgbelov 5 points6 points ago

Wow, I always get so sad when I watch that. Also, is that Unreal music in the background?

[–]SlyBun 2 points3 points ago

That's probably the cutest sad thing I've ever seen.

[–]Hygienicnerd 12 points13 points ago

My Greek is the same way...when he gets up on the log I know it's time for his outside super fun time in the yard.

[–]dinghie 11 points12 points ago

Huh, funny, my Greek just keeps asking money.

www.instantrimshot.com

[–]hiding_from_my_gf 0 points1 point ago

Don't forget to tie a balloon to him when he's out in the yard.

[–]proud_to_be_a_merkin -1 points0 points ago

There's three people in the first three threads I've seen that have a tortoise like this that does the exact same thing. How is this such a common problem? I guess it would just never happen in the wild so it has no bearing on natural selection?

[–]Hygienicnerd 0 points1 point ago

I dunno, mine does it when he wakes up and I haven't turned on his daylight lamps and he climbs on the tunnel to get closer the night lamp.

[–]hometown-unicorn 1 point2 points ago

I've got a Russian tort who also loved climbing up on his log, only when he was done being up high, he'd just sled down the side on his shell. It used to startle me with the sudden shell meets bark grinding and loud landing as he careened head on into his substrate. I'm not sure if I should take this as him being clever or just derpy like the Greek. :D

(He's got a different setup now, no more log sledding, I was worried he'd crack his beak.)

[–]Gummy_Bear 0 points1 point ago

My Russian tortoise got on log, took a crap, them slid down the side right though it. Such a rebel.

[–]hometown-unicorn 0 points1 point ago

Total badass.

[–]corporaterebel 0 points1 point ago

I presume a male? Then he will do leave no stone unturned looking for a mate....constantly looking for every avenue that might lead to one.

[–]Rick_Danko 34 points35 points ago

Hi, I'm tortoise. Welcome to Jackass!

[–]oh_hey_its_me 17 points18 points ago

Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.

[–]conjesture 18 points19 points ago

This gif ends to soon.

[–]TheOneCurly 13 points14 points ago

too*

[–]Schroedingers_gif 5 points6 points ago

*two

[–]The_Duchess 2 points3 points ago

*This gif exists and doesn't at the same time

[–]fish629 9 points10 points ago

This looks a lot like Turtle suicide, he should get some help.

[–]everlong016 2 points3 points ago

Seriously, someone needed to talk that tortoise off the ledge.

[–]WWIFA 5 points6 points ago

man, I just wanna know how this simon_wang12 fellow managed to get three of his posts on or near the front page at the same time

[–]abasss 18 points19 points ago

His posts are like turtle eggs. He submits a thousand of them in a day, only 4 or 5 get to the front page.

[–]simon_wang12[S] 3 points4 points ago

That's a pretty good analogy.

[–]abasss 0 points1 point ago

Don't you get tired mama turtle?

[–]TransfoCrent 0 points1 point ago

:(

[–]WhoFan 5 points6 points ago

I feel so sad for it,

[–]Thefriendlyfaceplant 1 point2 points ago

It all makes sense now.

[–]asstits 1 point2 points ago

Goodbye beautiful world.

[–]Rikplaysbass 1 point2 points ago

He really stuck the dismount. HAAAA!

[–]BrodyApproves 1 point2 points ago

That's the same way I look when I go down on a lady.

[–]OfThriceAndTen 1 point2 points ago

And there he remained for the rest of his days.

[–]greenspartan10 1 point2 points ago

I laughed at that more than I should. You sir tortoise deserve an up vote and some strawberries.

[–]sushifugu 1 point2 points ago

CTRL+F, "reverse"

No? Argh, you're killin' me! Am I the only one who wanted to see it?

Fine, I'll do it myself.

[–]generic230 1 point2 points ago

I want to see the video of this.

[–]Etiolated 0 points1 point ago

yeh, upvoted for original video

[–]gordonronco 1 point2 points ago

this is my little idiots favorite activity. that and waking me up at 7am to feed him by thunking all over his tank

[–]BremStar650 1 point2 points ago

He must have been shell shocked after that fall

[–]Shadic 2 points3 points ago

Video of my family tortoise doing the same thing.

With Youtube audio dub.

[–]everflow 0 points1 point ago

Such gracious fragile creatures these tortoises are.

[–]TAKES_SHIT_SERIOUSLY 0 points1 point ago

Why does it keep doing it over, and over again?

[–]gildedbat 1 point2 points ago

Now that is funny!

[–]Diogenes_the_Great 1 point2 points ago

Ninja he is not

[–]FrugalNinja 0 points1 point ago

"Damnit!"

[–]c4mmi 0 points1 point ago

I dont know why I am laughing but it is funny.

[–]slowpokeparade 0 points1 point ago

Aw, I feel bad for the little guy.

[–]Afa1234 0 points1 point ago

should've named it par core turtle... how the fuck did it get up there!?

[–]mopballs 0 points1 point ago

Not sure why I expected anything different...

[–]Force_Majeure 0 points1 point ago

Hey guys watch this sick dive into my water-bowl off the roof!

[–]walkinthecow 0 points1 point ago

If I had this ability, I would have saved myself so much pain in my younger days!

[–]cpnHindsight 0 points1 point ago

I like tortoises.

[–]Squid_Sauce 0 points1 point ago

Internet, we have a winner

[–]soundshaman 0 points1 point ago

This is why i love the internet

[–]LOOKITSADAM 0 points1 point ago

relevant top gear clip

[–]superatheist95 0 points1 point ago

Hammond laughing.

That was a genuine, hard laugh.

[–]cryptogram 0 points1 point ago

What happens next !?!

[–]token_internet_girl 0 points1 point ago

This kills the Tortoise.

[–]skeetskeetwatergun 0 points1 point ago

yup thats what it is

[–]talleyrandbanana 0 points1 point ago

deaddove.jpg

[–]Wolfgang_Amadeus 0 points1 point ago

I read this as "turquise facepaint." Needless to say, I was surprised.

[–]TheAmityvillain 0 points1 point ago

I had a box turtle when I was a kid. I put it on my bed..

It did a faceplant from the top bunk.

[–]derlavai 0 points1 point ago

D:

[–]SneakyChef 0 points1 point ago

"No tortoise! No!" - Jeremy Clarkson.

[–]superatheist95 0 points1 point ago

EHHHHERHHHHHH

that sound me made almost had me in tears.

[–]Zatoro25 0 points1 point ago

I happened to be listening to We Will Rock You when this gif loads, and it was perfect.

[–]staplezorz 0 points1 point ago

"Oh fishsticks."

[–]Frankhertz 0 points1 point ago

Dead.

[–]grunger 0 points1 point ago

"Hey guys, watch this!"

[–]Zarbear 0 points1 point ago

Well that deescalated quickly.

[–]godzillafragger 0 points1 point ago

That is actually dangerous for the tortoise, many books on tortoise keeping advise you to not have thingies like that.

[–]chickenyogurt 0 points1 point ago

PARTY HARD

[–]RaulFTW 0 points1 point ago

The .gif is not working on my phone app :c

[–]manipause 0 points1 point ago

I'm not really sure what else I was expecting. Bravo!

[–]gauttamj 0 points1 point ago

Thats an amazing stunt by the tortoise, guys... watch the intensity of little creature....

[–]skonjkav 0 points1 point ago

this is me getting out of bed every morning

[–]oohitsjinmo 0 points1 point ago

He'll never get that one grain of sand out of his shell..

[–]QueenShellene 0 points1 point ago

Outstanding! Made my morning!

[–]dgkaprielian 0 points1 point ago

Woah dude that turtle jumped backwards!

[–]pedro1191 0 points1 point ago

Wait, I've just spent the last 20 minutes watching my tortoise do this. I could have been getting karma for it?!

[–]distopiandoormatt 0 points1 point ago

I could easily watch this for hou....... Shit now im late for work.

[–]greyhulk 0 points1 point ago

I'm surprised mine hasn't done this yet. She's a nut.

[–]Kevbren 0 points1 point ago

When you have to facepalm so hard but your arms won't reach...

[–]249ba36000029bbe9749 0 points1 point ago

♫ I believe I can fly ♫

[–]Gromacs 0 points1 point ago

These aren't my glasses...

[–]mattarei 0 points1 point ago

This is now my favourite ever gif

[–]caitlanmartinez 0 points1 point ago

I read this a "turquoise facepaint"; my dyslexia is out of hand.

[–]Atomsk_LTG 0 points1 point ago

uhmmm... i think that turtle was placed there... you shouldn't be allowed to have a pet

[–]squirrel45399 0 points1 point ago

Made my day! Thank you!

[–]kelleyv23 0 points1 point ago

I read it as "tortoise facepaint" needless to say I was expecting something else.

[–]4123413-firstBot 0 points1 point ago

You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. All my upgoats to you, good sir.

[–]4123413-firstBot 0 points1 point ago

I think you're looking for r/circlejerk

[–]therealgaloosh 0 points1 point ago

I used to have a tortoise named E.T. when I was little. It amazes me these things can actually survive in nature. They're so awkward and clumsy.

[–]use_a_name_please 0 points1 point ago

He's trying to plant a tortoise tree to create friends.

He's alone.

[–]gravitydefyingturtle 0 points1 point ago

I used to work at a reptile zoo, and for a period of time we had a class of high schoolers volunteering for us as part of a class assignment. I gave some of them a tour before we got started working, and when we stopped in front of the wood turtle enclosure I started going into a spiel about how this species has long been used in studies of reptile intelligence. As I finished the talk, one of the turtles did a faceplant right into some rocks in the water. So I made a joke about intelligence being relative.

[–]transonicduke 0 points1 point ago

Furcbju

[–]cdemps62 0 points1 point ago

I want to imagine that right as he landed, his head retracted into the shell, and all was fine...

[–]Jsleezy 0 points1 point ago

I hope someone pulled him out of there

[–]theplaidshirt 0 points1 point ago

The title says it all

[–]nonika 0 points1 point ago

This made my day. Thank you, OP.

[–]tcd145 0 points1 point ago

Wow I cant stop laughing. Now I will be seeing this in my head for the rest of my evening. AWESOME

[–]MacintoshJunior 0 points1 point ago

That was amazing

[–]GradesEverything 0 points1 point ago

I'll give that dive an A+

[–]mishmash822 0 points1 point ago

OMG!! Poor little thing!!!

[–]greasyhands 0 points1 point ago

When you have really slow internet this gif is extra funny because you have time to sit and reflect on the mistake the tortoise is about to make while the gif loads

[–]Renix 0 points1 point ago

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

[–]KatL12 0 points1 point ago

This isn't funny this is sad! :(

[–]ziprbulge 0 points1 point ago

He should sue, there clearly should have been a No Diving sign somewhere

[–]DJ_Upgrayedd 0 points1 point ago

I laughed harder than I should have.

[–]purplegirl1998 0 points1 point ago

the front legs as hes falling mwahahahaahahah

[–]iPlayL0L 0 points1 point ago

this came from a comment....from a post a day or two ago...just sayin..

[–]th3th3ory 0 points1 point ago

"ill get it this time...plop"

[–]robot_pirate_ghost 0 points1 point ago

Mesmerizing. I caught myself watching this for far too long.

[–]mmccaulou 0 points1 point ago

Tortoise faceplant

Tortoise Olympic Diver

FTFY

[–]Tkpwns 0 points1 point ago

Cmon the hurtle just wanted to do some turtles.

[–]preppie227 0 points1 point ago

Wait.. DONT WORRY! his head went in his shell exactly 25.21233 milliseconds before impact.

[–]Chaqu -1 points0 points ago

Who the hell downvotes this stuff?

[–]twizzter 13 points14 points ago

People who use karmadecay

[–]vvim 2 points3 points ago

those that just can't see the fun in animals being caught in gravity. It's sad, that downvoting, I know, it's sad...

[–]walkinthecow 1 point2 points ago

aaaaah - make sense. But it was new to me!

[–]NathuramGodse -4 points-3 points ago

I believe people are down voting this (or at least why I'm down voting it) because that turtle didn't get on top of the log by choice. Instead, someone put it there, saw it struggling to get off, and rather than helping it they decided to film it for KPO ( Karma Purposes Only)

Edit: So never mind all that... Apparently turtles are not as vertically challenged as I once thought.

[–]EspeonageX 1 point2 points ago

Actually, it likely did get there by itself. Tortoises and turtles are very good climbers, despite how they look. They faceplant all the time and are fine.

Edit: But yeah, they did film it, so fuck them.

[–]NathuramGodse 4 points5 points ago

As I've never owned a turtle I was definitely not qualified to come to this conclusion... I have a bad habit of assuming things, thanks for the info

[–]EspeonageX 1 point2 points ago

de nada

[–]miss_trixie 2 points3 points ago

are you kidding? my tortoise does this exact same thing about 50 times a day. climbs up the log, facelants. climbs up the log, faceplants. climbs up the....well, you get my point.

[–]Karl-L 0 points1 point ago

Makes me want a turtle.

[–]funkbefgh 0 points1 point ago

That's a tortoise. You probably don't want a turtle.. (or a tortoise? they live for like 50+ years.. don't get it on a whim is all I'm saying.)

[–]KwordShmiff 0 points1 point ago

10

[–]FolksAtHome 0 points1 point ago

Suicide turtle

[–]SpermWhale 2 points3 points ago

Toiseliban? Toisesurgents? Tor Qaida? Jemaah Shellamiyah?

[–]Greavesy 0 points1 point ago

He must have lost something down there.

[–]TheJoel2012 0 points1 point ago

I'm not sure what else I really expected.

[–]evilgummysattack -1 points0 points ago

The amount of upvotes you got in two hours is unreal. I hope you're proud of your self.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Who ever put that turtle in there to figure a way out was a fucking sadistic dumbass

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]mizu-the-broan 2 points3 points ago

You've clearly never owned a tortoise. Most are eager climbers and will, in fact, do that on their own repeatedly. My dad has one who used to get himself turned over often by climbing on a little bridge in his habitat and losing his balance. We had to remove it as the tortoise was likely more distressed by being sent upside down than it was entertained by climbing on the thing.

[–]funkbefgh 0 points1 point ago

Yup. Our tortoise uses the area between the house we have in his tank (which is quite tall) and the glass to pin his shell so that when he pushes up with his legs he gets caught in there, completely off the ground. Unfortunately, this gets him no where except occasionally upside down.

[–]HelicopterPenor 2 points3 points ago

Actually, tortoises are naturally curious and great climbers. My tortoise does this kinda shit on a daily basis, we find him in places we didn't think were possible to reach.

[–]RzK -3 points-2 points ago

Wait.. DONT WORRY! his head went in his shell exactly 25.21233 milliseconds before impact.

[–]yourVneckISgay -1 points0 points ago

Michaelagnolo lost his groove

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