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top 200 commentsshow all 313

[–]alpacalips42 572 points573 points ago

What do you hope for?

[–]CBebop[S] 568 points569 points ago

I was hoping for some action!

[–]1moe7 186 points187 points ago

Nice save!

[–]copyandpasta 373 points374 points ago

Hey man, congrats on the weight loss! and...

[–]Holybasil 47 points48 points ago

I want to receive that cake too :(

[–]copyandpasta 57 points58 points ago

[–]Se7en_Sinner 45 points46 points ago

I wouldn't eat that, it's the sloppy seconds of the first sex cake.

[–]copyandpasta 28 points29 points ago

Actually, OP didn't want the cake, as he is on a weight loss kick. SO, it's still "Like New"

[–]Siethron 0 points1 point ago

So it's like sloppy seconds without the filling?

[–]parksuck 18 points19 points ago

I'm pretty sure i'm on a list somewhere after clicking that.

[–]bricardo 0 points1 point ago

I don't think they leave duplicates in.

[–]copyandpasta 4 points5 points ago

bookmarked.

[–]howajo 5 points6 points ago

dafuq?

[–]HarryLeggs 2 points3 points ago

:The tumblr edition

[–]Farren246 16 points17 points ago

Not sure if typo, or deliberate

[–]alpacalips42 4 points5 points ago

Hell yea! Grats on the weight loss. Feels good right?

[–]CBebop[S] 9 points10 points ago

Indeed it does.

[–]redmustang04 1 point2 points ago

So what exercise program did you use to lose all that weight?

[–]cheeseisawesome 28 points29 points ago

I lost 80lbs once, she said I drank to much and played too much video games, but I enjoyed the extra space for drinking beer in the shower.

[–]Mariospeedwagen 27 points28 points ago

It's funny because you killed her.

[–]scratchyballs 9 points10 points ago

you monster!!!

[–]Bearcubby17 1 point2 points ago

I lost about 50 pounds once, but now I sort of miss my legs:(

[–]xKovu -1 points0 points ago

He lost 80 lbs. and is hoping for in the shower action with his wife

[–]ky1e 268 points269 points ago

Here's an extra p you can borrow:            P

[–]Celsius1414 202 points203 points ago

Dude, never P in the shower when someone else is there.

[–]-naut 64 points65 points ago

But the water immediately washes it off...

[–]arup02 62 points63 points ago

Not if you pee in the ceiling.

[–]Mike_Aurand 92 points93 points ago

Pee IN the ceiling...? ಠ_ಠ

[–]Highblade 118 points119 points ago

he's australian

[–]Se7en_Sinner 76 points77 points ago

[–]Cyberslasher 13 points14 points ago

Thank you for this.

[–]Alexbo8138 5 points6 points ago

Man, 2 more days

[–]nira007pwnz 5 points6 points ago

Okay seriously... Do you guys make these on the spot or is there some giant database where "if you can think of it, it exists on the internet" for gifs?

[–]BangkokPadang 3 points4 points ago

There's a database.

www.reddit.com

Check it out.

[–]Xiaz89 0 points1 point ago

  1. type "whatever it is you can think of" + "gif" into google.
  2. ???
  3. profit.

EDIT: try googling "upside down beat dead horse gif"

[–]angryhuman 14 points15 points ago

Ah, yes! Upside down.

[–]SomeFokkerTookMyName 17 points18 points ago

There's two types of people in this world: People who pee in the ceiling and damn dirty liars!

[–]arup02 1 point2 points ago

oops!

[–]nOrthSC 4 points5 points ago

Besides, you're helping them fight athlete's foot. ...right?

[–]corpus_callosum 15 points16 points ago

Apparently, you've never heard of "water sports."

[–]hoobsher 20 points21 points ago

always peed when me and my ex used to shower together. one time i pissed on her foot and it was some quality Benny Hill style comedy. she always freaked out at it, but then one time she really had to pee and let it go. one of our closest moments together, really. the point when we could both piss while showering together.

[–]AverageForgettableMe 10 points11 points ago

This was oddly more funny to me than it probably should have been..

[–]hoobsher 8 points9 points ago

not weird, it was actually quite funny. a lot of what seemed like intimate times (in bed, in shower, sexytimes, etc) were mostly just us having fun. man, she gave me a blowjob while i was playing Jak 3, finished, and then took the controller and played. that's the kinda relationship we had.

[–]AverageForgettableMe 8 points9 points ago

Being a girl, who plays video games and generally only hangs out with guys, I have a similar story. A couple weeks ago, on me and my boyfriends 6 months he was playing Mortal Combat and i gave him a blow job and took the controller played the next round. Funny shit.

Edit: I repeated repeated a word.

[–]hoobsher 9 points10 points ago

all girls take note: ^ this is excellent girlfriend etiquette. (and i suppose for dudes too)

[–]QueenxNina 4 points5 points ago

Did he return the favor?

[–]AverageForgettableMe 3 points4 points ago

Of course!

[–]Nightmathzombie 4 points5 points ago

Gives whole new meaning to the phrase "FINISH HIM!".

[–]kimmi_cub 0 points1 point ago

Yeah I was basically awesome

[–]BangkokPadang 2 points3 points ago

You should escalate things by taking a dump in the shower next time.

[–]warbird2k 6 points7 points ago

did some one say P in the shower?

[–]Pixilated8 5 points6 points ago

And one with english subtitles

[–]RuncibleSpoon18 4 points5 points ago

I don't even....

[–]TieMeUpAndGagMe 1 point2 points ago

As fucked up as that video is, they make a good point. Ive never seen it like that before.

[–]bubbus 4 points5 points ago

Umm maybe his wife's into that... Don't judge!

[–]WretchedLocket 1 point2 points ago

Just trying to keep everyone's feet warm

[–]MetalBiscuits87 0 points1 point ago

That's the only time too pee in the shower

[–]red321red321 4 points5 points ago

ahahah now he can have a P in the shower!

[–]karolinamaria 0 points1 point ago

Can definitely fit in now, with all the extra space and all!

[–]frogman787 0 points1 point ago

reminds me of paper mario: ttyd with doopliss... that undercase "p"...

[–]scheissegal 0 points1 point ago

make sure he returns it though

[–]call_me_young_buck 71 points72 points ago

How about some before and after pics, broski?

[–]Rasket 47 points48 points ago

Before and after the shower, that is.

[–]hatepoorpeople 20 points21 points ago

And a couple during the shower, perhaps?

[–]hoobsher 4 points5 points ago

and they say reddit's a bunch of creeps. PSHAW!

[–]copyandpasta 6 points7 points ago

11/10 redditors were thinking the same

[–]newtothelyte 1 point2 points ago

Mmmm... All that extra skin

[–]CBebop[S] 19 points20 points ago

I will need to find some examples, I will see about getting some later for /r/loseit

[–]Stocksicles 4 points5 points ago

Congrats on the weight loss man!!!

[–]deidru 0 points1 point ago

Congrats!!!

[–]CBebop[S] 4 points5 points ago

Posted to /r/loseit in this thread.

[–]Champ_In_The_Making 4 points5 points ago

10/10 for usage of broski, would bro again.

[–]AISim 7 points8 points ago

For r/loseit.

[–]Lymah 17 points18 points ago

more like for /r/gonewild

[–]red321red321 2 points3 points ago

for my external hard drive

[–]corpus_callosum 25 points26 points ago

I have to lose 80, to be at the proper BMI weight. I've lost 40 so far.

[–]fastrthnu 55 points56 points ago

I also have to lose 80, to be at the proper BMI weight. I've gained 15 so far.

[–]249ba36000029bbe9749 19 points20 points ago

...or just grow a bit taller.

[–]TheInternetHivemind 2 points3 points ago

There's a surgery for that.

[–]erfawl 0 points1 point ago

How the hell do you remember your username?

[–]corpus_callosum 5 points6 points ago

Biggest offender I've found is the snack chip. Cut all chips out 100% (and sodas and sugar as well).

[–]tainteddonut 3 points4 points ago

NO. Fuck you sir!

[–]Eldeeff 9 points10 points ago

Have you reported the lost weight to the police? Alert the authorities ASAP. We can retrieve it. We will do everything we can to put whoever did this to you behind bars.

[–]tcquad 4 points5 points ago

I've lost 60-70 over the last year and a half (I'd be more exact but, at a certain point, I just avoided scales altogether).

My BMI's now down into "overweight". 25 more to go before I could hit "proper".

[–]frymaster 4 points5 points ago

Congratulations :-)

[–]Eurynom0s 2 points3 points ago

Not trying to tell you that you can stop working towards your goal, but if you've been putting on muscle, BMI is not really a worthwhile marker for you to use, because muscle is denser than fat. For example, Arnold Schwarzenegger at his peak would have registered as morbidly obese on the BMI scale.

[–]seemefearme 2 points3 points ago

BMI isn't that great of an indicator of healthy weight. Doesn't take into account muscle weight.

[–]hunterg567 2 points3 points ago

BMI isn't a true scale to work toward. It doesn't put muscle into the equation.

[–]obdue 1 point2 points ago

As someone who just reached a healthy BMI this week, keep up the good work! You'll get there before you know it!

[–]Tearik 23 points24 points ago

You sure the new place doesn't just have a bigger shower?

[–]gmorales87 15 points16 points ago

Estimating my weight based on the size of the shower.

[–]Tearik 7 points8 points ago

best way to tell. Based on the size of my shower, I'm roughly 242.4 lbs

[–]Jdmoreetosis 7 points8 points ago

Definitely not. I wiiiish.

[–]acversteeg 4 points5 points ago

I hope you got some!

[–]Jdmoreetosis 10 points11 points ago

[–]LinT5292 3 points4 points ago

To the people downvoting, this is actually OP's wife.

[–]crayola_ferrari 35 points36 points ago

[–]4_word_replies_only 80 points81 points ago

Dude, you're stick thin.

[–]JustPlainRude 20 points21 points ago

Big head, though. Could cause problems.

[–]awwp_voter 15 points16 points ago

Or all the right problems depending on what head

[–]a-Centauri 11 points12 points ago

that was risky. phew

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]a-Centauri 2 points3 points ago

you're safe, no need to worry anymore. The bad man can't hurt you anymore

[–]djcertitude 2 points3 points ago

It didnt say NSFW, so I jumped on it

[–]simpleGizzle -1 points0 points ago

Oh you clever bastard.

[–]red321red321 3 points4 points ago

that's what she said

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

Twist: He weighed 81 lbs before. Directed: M. Night. Shamalamalamalamalamalama

[–]bigtice 2 points3 points ago

My brain processed the post thinking that while his wife was in the shower:

  1. Went outside
  2. Promptly lost 80 pounds in approximately 5 to 10 minutes
  3. ???
  4. Profit!!! (came back and "hoped" in the shower with her)

[–]g33kch1c 9 points10 points ago

This made me grin. And congrats to you.

[–]jesh1223 1 point2 points ago

Congratulations!

[–]Clarkcsm 3 points4 points ago

Good on ya for losing the weight!

[–]cyb3rat 2 points3 points ago

clicks link ... ... "I don't know what I was expecting."

[–]DigoxinToxin 2 points3 points ago

Great job on the weight loss! Keep the sex life active and stay healthy, good for you!

[–]FreeTopher 2 points3 points ago

So... how'd you lose that much? I'm 6'1" and 260 lbs and I'd love to lose that much. Congrats!

[–]CBebop[S] 5 points6 points ago

I am 6'3" and it was primarily diet and exercise. I was up to 315 and am now down around 235. Just don't get discouraged, find a diet that works for you, and keep to it. Exercise doesn't hurt either.

[–]throwawaymechanic37 4 points5 points ago

Hey! I'm 6'3" and 315lbs! I used to be 180lbs and my first girlfriend was worried I would leave her for a hotter girl so she did a ton of things to cause me to gain weight. Within 6 months I had gained 140lbs. Don't ask me how, I don't know myself. Then she dumped me because I was fat. Now I'm back to trying to lose weight.

[–]JShabs 4 points5 points ago

WAT

[–]scratchyballs 2 points3 points ago

is that really true?

[–]jmad202 1 point2 points ago

I'm 6'0" and weigh 310 :-(

Care to share your experience? What specifically did you do to change your eating habits? How often did you exercise and what did you do? And obviously, how long did it actually take?

I'm trying to lose weight, and I'll do good for a while, but then I will get stressed out or depressed, and end up eating like crap, and gaining back the little bit of weight I did lose.

[–]imakemisteaks 2 points3 points ago

r/keto!

[–]thinkincircles 0 points1 point ago

Guys! /r/loseit is that way, lemme enjoy my ice cream in peace, dammit!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]h_lehmann 1 point2 points ago

hopping

[–]Decapitat3d 7 points8 points ago

Commence sexy time

[–]Wordwench 11 points12 points ago

Hoping, anyway.

[–]didgeridoos 1 point2 points ago

Sexy sexy, fun time

[–]nighttrain83 3 points4 points ago

I hate having sex in the shower. Maybe I'm weird, but it's uncomfortable, awkward, someone is always cold or struggling to stay standing up...

[–]drunkirish 0 points1 point ago

It's fun though. A little variety never hurts.

[–]kdorf 4 points5 points ago

Unless you slip and fall. Then it would hurt pretty bad I reckon.

[–]supermonkey1313 2 points3 points ago

...activities.

[–]myPuppysCute 2 points3 points ago

Congratulations man, way to go!

[–]dovakiin777 2 points3 points ago

there's so much room- for another p.

[–]minusthebearplus44 2 points3 points ago

Is it good or bad that I knew what the punchline was going to be before I clicked the link?

[–]Merrena 0 points1 point ago

I find it funny how I saw this exact picture coming a mile away.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Is that your wife over there on the right? She looks...mannish.

[–]coffeegurl 1 point2 points ago

Congratulations!!!!!! What an accomplishment :)

[–]fluffbeast 2 points3 points ago

80 lbs in one shower, huh?

[–]Donnage 2 points3 points ago

what are you hoping to do in the shower?

[–]itsDANdeeMAN 2 points3 points ago

congrats on losing the weight. I wish more people would get fit. I also lol'd at the pic, great work.

[–]agent3613 2 points3 points ago

Congrats! How long did that take you? I'm trying to drop 30 more lbs and it feels like it is taking forever!

[–]Grimnirsbeard 2 points3 points ago

I just lost 30lbs and am working towards losing at least another 20. Already girls are looking at me differently, but I am trying to lose as much pudge and man boobage as possible so that moving out in a few weeks turns my new apartment into a love shack.

[–]O-townTexter 2 points3 points ago

Congratulations OP, a job well done. You've deserve your shower sexy times.

[–]LucifersCounsel 2 points3 points ago

Hoping? After losing 80lbs, it's a sure thing.

[–]Kilgannon_TheCrowing 5 points6 points ago

[–]Mr_Alex 7 points8 points ago

Like shower freeze tag, amirite?

[–]Lampmonster1 2 points3 points ago

That's not what she meant when she said not to p in the shower.

[–]giverofnofucks 2 points3 points ago

Also, this little benefit of losing all that weight (NSFW)

[–]Theolore 2 points3 points ago

[–]bassplaya614 0 points1 point ago

[–]ThroatySteak 0 points1 point ago

what kind of exercise did you do

[–]Ailaesar 1 point2 points ago

Congratulations dude!

[–]brillonius 1 point2 points ago

Came in expecting this pic, OP did not disappoint!

[–]red_is_blue 0 points1 point ago

I completely called what this post was going to say.

[–]andd81 1 point2 points ago

Forever alone and fit, even more room in the shower!

[–]blindtranche 1 point2 points ago

That is about the same weight as 10 gallons of milk. What a huge loss!

[–]Lord-Longbottom 2 points3 points ago

(For us English aristocrats, I leave you this 10 gallons -> 80.0 Pints) - Pip pip cheerio chaps!

[–]mnbam23 1 point2 points ago

Congrats!! I love that your pic went perfectly.

[–]lefrenchguy101 0 points1 point ago

lol

[–]pookiemccool 1 point2 points ago

congratulations on the weight loss, that's awesome!

[–]SkullTheodoreTroll 0 points1 point ago

r/hifw!

[–]olives_trees 0 points1 point ago

after a few months , you know what it is before you open it. REDDIT GAVE ME PSYCHIC POWERS!

[–]mikkie15 0 points1 point ago

Congratz on you loosing weight!

[–]enimem 0 points1 point ago

So... the last time you took a shower is before you lost all that weight ?

[–]carlsaischa 0 points1 point ago

Awesome! Now you can do step class or play army men!

[–]Dankycheese 0 points1 point ago

I need to gain 45 pounds to be at my proper body weight. Could I borrow a few pounds?

[–]shianne26 0 points1 point ago

The comment is genius! *hopping (y) rofl! Yess!

[–]palaxi 0 points1 point ago

It's not hoping, when your wife is imaginary.

[–]SweetCheeksMagee -1 points0 points ago

Shower sex fucking sucks,man. Its painful and uncomfortable because the water washes away all of your natural lubricant. Water is like the anti-lube. And giving a blowjob in the shower must suck for the girl, with the water pouring over your face and making it hard to breathe. That shit must be like waterboarding.

[–]Tikibasket 1 point2 points ago

You don't know how long I was waiting for someone to use this image. Thank you.

[–]JanitorWolfman 0 points1 point ago

I ain't even looking at the picture, but im guessing its step brother's "so much room for activities"

am I right?

[–]Catperson99 0 points1 point ago

Terrible title but I have to upvote activities.

[–]Koey4Shoey 1 point2 points ago

Hahaha, wife upset when it turns out you just want to play army men in the shower.

Congrats on the weight loss!!!

[–]BetterCallSaul505 0 points1 point ago

Congratulations! May i ask where you started and where you're at now? Oh and anyone out there who is overweight and just feels like they dont know where to start, i highly recommend watching a documentary called FAT, SICK, AND NEARLY DEAD. Blew me away!

[–]Cryos 1 point2 points ago

Congrats on the weight loss bro!

[–]glNito -1 points0 points ago

No. In the shower, there's no room for activities ):

[–]KingPJ69 0 points1 point ago

If you know what i mean

[–]Weirdguyflavour 0 points1 point ago

Stop poking me with that! Put it away!

[–]Kinomi 1 point2 points ago

Yep, just hope right in there!

[–]conekiller 1 point2 points ago

Nice work!

[–]sge_fan 0 points1 point ago

Typos make me hoping mad.

[–]ThreesomeAnyone 0 points1 point ago

What are these "showers" you strange creatures speak of?

[–]Captain_Kuhl 1 point2 points ago

Grats on the shower sex! And I guess weight loss is a plus, too.

[–]Number_J 0 points1 point ago

pics or didn't happen

[–]wwwyzzrd 0 points1 point ago

Congrats on not being as fat as you once were!

[–]UnknownArchive 0 points1 point ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
When my wife takes out her dentures... 1com -2pts 2dys funny
after getting a bigger monitor 3coms 12pts 15dys funny
How I feel whenever I wear a tank top 1com 3pts 18dys funny
Just got a 120GB hard drive for my 360. 1com 5pts 25dys gaming
How I feel after getting my first 1080p monitor.. 0coms 3pts 1mo funny
How I feel after moving from the Res Hall to my new apartment. 0coms 0pts 1mo funny
Why I like BBW. (SFW) 1com 3pts 1mo funny
When I found out my new phone assigns speed dial by letter instead of number 0coms 3pts 1mo funny
How I feel after I clean my room... 0coms 1pt 2mos pics
The front page when reddit goes down for an hour. 3coms 17pts 2mos funny
How I feel moving from New York to Missouri 176coms 908pts 2mos funny
Sleeping in a king sized bed for the first time. 0coms 13pts 2mos funny
Sex with Michelle Duggar (Mother from 19 Kids and Counting) 8coms 199pts 3mos funny
What I've noticed since quitting League of Legends 7coms 35pts 3mos gaming
How i feel when i get the one big stall in a public restroom 15coms 201pts 3mos funny
Every time I reinstall windows. 1com 58pts 3mos AdviceAnimals
Me after my roommate moved out and I finally got to rearrange the furniture... 2coms 16pts 4mos funny
How it feels cleaning six months of my ex-girlfriend's text messages from my phone's inbox 3coms 43pts 6mos funny
How I feel after clearing over 20 GB of data off of my computer. 1com 10pts 6mos funny
What's it like to come home to a queen sized bed after your first year at college 3coms 3pts 1mo funny
Just broke up with my girlfriend 2coms 4pts 3dys funny
the guy I share an office with just got laid off 0coms 5pts 1mo funny

source: karmadecay

[–]rabidamber 0 points1 point ago

LoL! Good for you! Happy humping in the shower!

[–]OcularLiceScene 0 points1 point ago

My shower provides me with so much hope. Thanks shower!

[–]stevesonaplane 0 points1 point ago

How's it feel to see the whole penis? It's like meeting an old friend all over again.

[–]19thCenturyFox 1 point2 points ago

Bada BING- I never get tired of this! I think I need to go to The Cheesecake Factory

[–]piratestronghold 0 points1 point ago

I hope you had a good time!

[–]whitvw 1 point2 points ago

Congrats and that was fucking hilarious.

[–]wigels 1 point2 points ago

good for you

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Fliff42 0 points1 point ago

This is either an exact repost or for some reason the same post came back.