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top 200 commentsshow all 442

[–]jkb83 335 points336 points ago

Veginas and bobes, oh my!

[–][deleted] 213 points214 points ago

Sounds like vegan restaurant.

"Vegina's, the best place to eat out"

[–]effieSC 79 points80 points ago

Possible [NSFW]! The best place to eat out

[–]jerschneid 28 points29 points ago

They have amazing bobes curry.

[–]Big_Oil 9 points10 points ago

That link was a risky click here at work.

[–]seekfear 8 points9 points ago

I went balls out and clicked it.

[–]dorino0net 11 points12 points ago

I took my balls out and clicked it.

I am not employed. :|

[–]Big_Oil 7 points8 points ago

Me too but I had to think about it. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm one of the people who monitor our internet traffic I probably would not have taken the risk.

[–]PerogiXW 3 points4 points ago

I never though about it, but going "balls out" is a fantastic way to describe a silly and unnecessary risk.

[–]effieSC 2 points3 points ago

Sorry! I put NSFW next to it xD

[–]salmanrushdi 4 points5 points ago

Veginas are fun

[–]dog_problems 50 points51 points ago

TIL my handwriting is worse than an 8 year old's

[–]truthie 15 points16 points ago

8? That girl needs to step up her fuckin spelling game.

[–]jon__snow 195 points196 points ago

That was surprisingly very empowering lol

[–]PixyFreakingSticks 278 points279 points ago

I was reading that and found myself thinking... "Fuck yeah, we get jobs. Bitches."

[–]BitchesLove 21 points22 points ago

Bitches love jobs

[–]TurnipCelebration 2 points3 points ago

I completely agree!

[–]I_LOVE_CATS_TENDERLY 101 points102 points ago

I've been feeling slightly baby crazy lately. This was so adorable, and it didn't help either. :P

[–]Ritoki 28 points29 points ago

Ugh, my brother had a baby with his wife a year and a half ago. I babysit my niece often, and lately I've had the unhealthy desire to keep her. "Just for a week or two, it's summer vacation, what's a teacher to do with the long summer months!?" I keep telling myself. I'm afraid I too have gone a bit baby crazy. I know that feel, sistah!

*Edit - I have a 7 month old puppy, so that distracts me from baby-making (and baby-kidnapping!!) schemes, so Fuck Yeah!

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

As the father of a nine-month-old, just ask if you can babysit her for a week. I know I'd jump at the chance for a week-long vacation.

EDIT: On second thought, it might be a little weird unprompted. Maybe just say that you'd be more than happy to watch her for a few days if they wanted to have some time to themselves to reconnect (or something along those lines).

[–]Ritoki 7 points8 points ago

I was thinking of something along those lines, particularly before classes start. My brother's studying at college to finish his degree, and I know sometimes he wishes he could have some more time to himself to play Skyrim and whatnot, while his wife often mentions wanting some time with him and be a couple, rather than a parental unit, so yeah. I'll spring the suggestion for the first week of August.

[–]duckduck_goose 14 points15 points ago

Just keep tenderly loving those cats and the babies might come :)

Wow, that came out of my fingertips sounding a little wrong. Oh well posting as is.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]MinionOfDoom 102 points103 points ago

Every time you see a baby you just think it's the cutest damn thing and that you want one. Every time you see baby items like clothes and bottles you get warm fuzzies and want a baby to give these things to. And you constantly imagine how wonderful it would be to be pregnant, to have a child to take care of, etc. You want nothing more than to throw away your birth control and have baby making sex right there and then. It can even effect people like me who a year prior never wanted to have kids. It just completely changes your brain chemistry on the matter. It makes you baby obsessive and drives you fuckin' crazy.

[–]bellicose- 43 points44 points ago

Yes. I have never wanted kids, I'm really not good with them. This baby crazy hit me like a rock last Thanksgiving-- I saw a baby and I WANTED IT.

[–]napura 35 points36 points ago

I hate the idea of having children. I really don't like babies. I can't stand toddlers. But recently my brain screams CHILDREN WANT. And I'm just like "shut up NO YOU HATE SMALL CHILDREN." It really sucks.

[–]colorado_panda 20 points21 points ago

I AM SO GLAD TO DISCOVER I'M NOT ALONE!! I just keep telling myself "you'll never sleep again, you're life will cease to be yours forever". Someday, in like 5 years, then I'll succumb.

[–]raanne 22 points23 points ago

As someone with two kids, "your life will cease to be yours forever" is the perfect summation of having kids. Wouldn't change it for the world, but damn if that doesn't mean I don't miss the freedom sometimes...

[–]lisserella 25 points26 points ago

As someone with three adult children I can tell you that your life does not cease forever. They grow up and move out. Thy become these awesome people with successes and failures. They bring more people into your life, son and daughter-in-laws, grandchildren (the best of baby crazy because you send them back!). I guess what I'm saying is that your freedom is still there but just on hold for a while.

[–]MollyBloom11 11 points12 points ago

This makes me excited for life.

[–]HappyonaShelf 6 points7 points ago

As someone who raised 3 strong, creative, independent children myself, I'm now thriving in a very empty nest. Started an original rock band, bought a music venue. Life is just starting! As for grandbabies...still waiting. But yes, would not trade it for the world. And to my former best friend who found it necessary to tell me her "baby-craving" passed, and that it was "really important to let me know," I say HA! Now I have the best of both worlds.

[–]antisocialmedic 4 points5 points ago

I only have one five week old so I don't really know what the future holds. So far my life isn't terribly different from what it was. But does life really cease? That doesn't seem accurate, I would just think it changes a great deal. Especially if you were something of a social butterfly. I could be wrong and very unsuspecting of my own impending doom. I expect a lot of changes, but I don't see how that would constitute my life ending. It's not like I am in prison.

[–]raanne 10 points11 points ago

It doesn't cease, it just ceases to be yours. My life does not revolve around me anymore. My needs and wants come second - even though it may be for a short period of time. Date night with my husband must be planned 2 weeks in advance. Everything is done with kids in mind. Even sex is scheduled around "hey honey, both kids are taking a nap at the same time!"

I know this changes as they get older, I will slowly get my own life back. And I can certainly say that having kids changes my perspective and priorities and outlook on the world. But my life is not my own anymore. There are risks I might have been willing to take (skydiving, etc.) that I wouldn't do anymore because I have kids. I have a responsibility to more than just myself. And not just in a touchy-feely "we all have a responsibility to eachother and society at large" but in a very real and legally defined way where I (and my husband) am in charge of making sure these little people live a happy and healthy life until they are able to provide that for themselves.

[–]antisocialmedic 2 points3 points ago

Perhaps our baby is a good sleeper and perhaps we never had much of a life to begin with. Though things are different now, our lives aren't that different. Still have a sex life, we never really went on to dates to begin with. I guess I am such a boring person that it wasn't that difficult to include the baby and her care in my day to day activities. And she does sleep 4-5 hours through at night now, so that helps.

I could see it being a hard change for people who were very social and used to going out to clubs or other social events. We go to things like that on a rare occasion, but it's usually planned out in advance, I guess.

[–]napura 11 points12 points ago

I refuse to succumb! Haha. I'm only 20 years old, so when the baby urges hit me I was really confused. They have chilled out in the last few weeks, but it's still a little scary. :P

[–]colorado_panda 11 points12 points ago

Yeah I just turned 21...the baby crazies were strong with me for a month or two but have also died down thank god! I just know if I'm married in 5 years the urge will sweep me away...but then I keep telling myself, "you'll never get a true vacation again..." haha.

[–]Shmaesh 6 points7 points ago

Just wait, ladies. It only gets worse.

[–]fun_young_man 3 points4 points ago

As a man, who has never desired children but who would like to eventually settle into a coupled life; this terrifies me. It feels like my partner would have ebola and I would be powerless to stop it.

[–]cloneciel 7 points8 points ago

I hate that feeling too. I don't want children when I'm rational and think about it for a second or two. Then hormones go nuts, baby crazy pops out and I see a baby and I'm like ~'_'~ CAN I HAVE HIIIIM... I don't want me having a baby to be decided by fucking hormones. I don't want my hormones to make me love that infant more than I love my husband. I want to be able to do what I want, when I want. T_T. And when a baby cries it makes me want to hit myself in the face with a shovel. That and they make noise all the time. Agaa gagagaaa sing sing sing bash on things bash on things. I hate noise. It would drive me insane to have a noise machine 24/7 O_O

[–]napura 4 points5 points ago

Yeah, I definitely couldn't deal with the screaming and stuff. And I don't care what anyone says. "You'll feel differently when you have one." Probably not, considering I'm nuts. In fact I'd probably want to throw it into a wall. Or throw myself through a wall. Or both. :P

[–]EgregiousWeasel 12 points13 points ago

It's nuts. I never felt the urge until a few months ago. My guy says there's a 98% chance he doesn't want children, so I don't know how to bring it up. Especially because I told him on our first date I'm not that into babies and am ambivalent about having them. I'm turning 38 this year. I'm completely in love with him. It's really stressing me out. :(

[–]lankira 10 points11 points ago

I totally understand, and I want to let you know that someone out there is listening. I wish I could give you some sage advice, but I can't. So, I give you e-hugs (if you're into that sort of thing).

/hugs

[–]YWxpY2lh 6 points7 points ago

Tell him what's going on. Better to get it right out there in the open, and a relationship should be able to handle such things.

[–]EgregiousWeasel 2 points3 points ago

I agree. It's still fairly new, so I'm struggling to come to terms with it myself. As a result, I'm not really sure how to address it. I will soon, though.

[–]Learnincurve 1 point2 points ago

Did you consider adoption or fostering at all? Some people don't like the idea of babies but like children, I don't pretend to know you or him but it could be a discussion.

[–]lizzyborden42 2 points3 points ago

maybe try the big brothers big sisters thing? They aren't babies but they are children you borrow for a couple hours.

[–]lpathst 5 points6 points ago

So...? Did you steal it? You should have.

[–]bellicose- 5 points6 points ago

No-- sadly, I had no good escape route

[–]izziebot 63 points64 points ago

This. I'm 26 and I have had mild baby fever for a while. Seriously never wanted kids, ever, and now anything involving babies sets me off into a pile of gushing chaos.

I wrote a little reminder to myself:

toddlers are miniature destructive forces of hell

kids are gross obnoxious egocentric sadists

teenagers are hormonal rebellious psychopaths

young adults are whiny, soul searching nomads

Offspring are cool from 0-2ish, 21+, but the 2-20 part is what I want to avoid.

[–]MinionOfDoom 29 points30 points ago

I'm 26 and it hit me about a year ago. My husband and I were on the fence about kids, but now we've planned to start trying for kids around my 29th birthday since I went all batshit pro-kid. It feels so terribly far away, but I keep reminding myself of all the things I want to focus on right now that children would get in the way of.

[–]izziebot 14 points15 points ago

LMFAO, batshit pro-kid is THE PERFECT explanation.

[–]stinieroo 6 points7 points ago

This happened to me too. My husband and I have always known we would have kids "one day." Then my best friend got pregnant (on purpose) and my baby-crazy hit me like a ton of bricks. It's ridiculous. I've known many other pregnant women, some I was even really close to, but for whatever reason, her getting pregnant was what tipped me over the edge.

I'm 27 now and thinking 30 sounds like the perfect age to start (my grandmother, who is my role model, had her first of three at 30), but it does seem so far away. But there is so much I want to do now! And before! So yeah. I feel your babypain.

[–]boxingdude 3 points4 points ago

Awesome of you to get it right. You'll be a much better parent if you plan for it and do it only when you're ready.

[–]Learnincurve 57 points58 points ago

You have to feed a newborn every two hours. This either involves going down to your kitchen to heat up formula at 1am, 3am, 5am and 7am or latching him/her onto your swollen painful breast with nipples that feel like they have been attacked by a cheese grater. 20 mins later after feeding and burping you can then put them in the cradle, you then spend the next 10 mins rocking them to sleep, you then get to go back to sleep for 30 mins before they wake up crying because they need changing, you get up and change them for 10 mins then spend the next 10 mins rocking them back to sleep. 20/30 mins later they wake up crying for more food. Repeat all night every night for several weeks.

[–]motts 60 points61 points ago

I just went batshit anti-baby

[–]Meat_Related 19 points20 points ago

I got the to the grater-nipples before I noped.

I've been having little thoughts recently that made me think I was finally coming round to the idea of having kids (only 23 and not planning to multiply for a few years at least) but this was the whack back to reality I needed!

[–]antisocialmedic 5 points6 points ago

If you get a proper latch, breastfeeding isn't painful. Some people have more difficulties feeding than others, but it actually doesn't hurt when done properly.

[–]thriceraven 0 points1 point ago

This. I had no pain at all after the first week, and I nursed my son until he was 2 1/2.

[–]Learnincurve 8 points9 points ago

Things they don't tell you in the classes because they don't want to freak you out part 2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placental_expulsion

[–]Aphrodesia 10 points11 points ago

Erm, I hate to burst your factoid bubble, but this is really common knowledge.

P.S. Some people eat the placenta.

[–]DierdraVaal 12 points13 points ago

Also you'll pee, puke and poop in front of ten complete strangers who will be staring intently at your vagina. Which, by the way, has an 80% chance of tearing.

Courtest of scrubs

[–]boxingdude 12 points13 points ago

And to some, it's worth every minute.

[–]Learnincurve 12 points13 points ago

Oh I love my children more than anything in the world, but if you go into it unprepared then you are going to have a very bad time.

[–]b0b_iz_b0mb 6 points7 points ago

I'm a nanny and the fastest I've seen a baby sleep through the night every night was 8 weeks. They sleep trained her though... Which I thought was strange but every family is different.

[–]Learnincurve 1 point2 points ago

With mine we got to every four hours in a couple of weeks, my daughter would only sleep in her pram till she was about 6 months old though so I slept downstairs on the sofa rocking the pram till then.

[–]b0b_iz_b0mb 3 points4 points ago

Every child is so different with that... It sounds like you made things work though!

[–]nwsreddit 4 points5 points ago

latching him/her onto your swollen painful breast with nipples that feel like they have been attacked by a cheese grater.

Apologies for the stupid question; do you switch between nipples to try and given the other a rest?

[–]Learnincurve 12 points13 points ago

Not a stupid question. You actually have two kinds of milk, the watery fore-milk which carries antibodies and whatnot, and then the creamy filling milk behind it, so you need to keep baby on for a long time or he/she will not get full, you switch to the other breast if it's needed. The next time you feed you start with the other breast, you will know which one because it will be fuller, if you don't use it then you will leak and can be uncomfortable. I got through the first few days on new mother hormones making me go all gooey over everything my babies did even if it hurt.

[–]nootashey 7 points8 points ago

Cats are cool. Offspring from 0-2ish....hmmmm. I love my son to bits, but honestly, babies kind of suck. 10 months plus, maybe that is cool.

[–]girllilikoi 15 points16 points ago

All of these things, plus my eyes actually fill with tears of adoration and joy whenever a child does anything cute.

[–]CleverRedditHandle 17 points18 points ago

So it's like the same as when I see kittens. Except for the "must have sex right now to have kittens" thing.

[–]winniecooperetc 3 points4 points ago

I have to pretend babies are small animals in order to tolerate them/not make a visibly disgusted face. Whoops. Kittens, yes.

[–]Snatland 3 points4 points ago

Kittens, puppies, bunny rabbits. Hell, if I've been at uni away from my own animals for a month or two, any mildly cute dog I see on the street is enough.

[–]someguy945 14 points15 points ago

Maybe this will help you snap out of it: WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAH! WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAH! WAAAAAH! WAH WAH OOWAAH!OOWAAH!OOWAAH!OOWAAH!OOWAAH! OOWAAH!OOWAAH!OOWAAH!OOWAAH!OOWAAH!OOWAAH!OOWAAH!OOWAAH! OOWAAH! WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAH WWAAAAAAAH WAAAAAH WAAAAAHWAAAAAHWAAAAAHWAAAAAH WAAAAAHWAAAAAHWAAAAAHWAAAAAHWAAAAAHWAAAAAHWAAAAAH WAAAAAH WAAAAAH WAAAAAH

I sincerely hope that helped.

[–]poor_toms_acold 2 points3 points ago

Oh my Gd shut the fuck up!

Guess I'm not ready.

[–]Penguin_Dreams 2 points3 points ago

You've convinced me! ;)

[–]KhamanV 6 points7 points ago

Never felt it. Since I get enough uncontrollable emotional bullshit from my depression and anxiety, I'll settle back and be grateful for this.

[–]bohowannabe 6 points7 points ago

Oh no. At what age does this begin to happen?

[–]katubug 8 points9 points ago

For me, it was 15. It's been a shitty ride to 27, let me tell ya. I'm glad I never gave in, though. Fuck yeah independence!

[–]Penguin_Dreams 5 points6 points ago

For some people it never happens.

I'm almost at the end of my potential child-bearing years and while it's sometimes weird to think that not having a kid won't be a choice anymore, I have definitely never felt the need to procreate. I don't swoon over the smell of baby, actually, it's a little bit nauseating to me, I don't look at other people's babies or small children and think I'm missing out on something. I definitely don't feel the urge to get rid of my bc and have baby-making sex with the nearest alpha male. Maybe my biological clock is broken... IDK, but I've always never wanted kids and the thought of pregnancy terrifies me.

[–]bohowannabe 4 points5 points ago

I've always never wanted kids and the thought of pregnancy terrifies me.

Haha ditto. I'm most likely going to be a school teacher, too. I think I can give back to younger generations plenty in this respect. Also, it'll be nice coming home to a house where there's no children. :p

[–]victorii 6 points7 points ago

After 2 of them those urges inside me are dead, but I remember how strong they used to be. Now I hold a precious newborn and I beg for the mother to take the thing back. Interesting how brain chemistry works!

[–]Atrista 5 points6 points ago

Going baby crazy sucks. I think I'm barely getting over the baby fever I got last year.

[–]MinionOfDoom 8 points9 points ago

It ends? Does it really?!!!!

[–]Atrista 5 points6 points ago

I guess it just diminishes to a not crazy level. I have been isolating myself from everything baby though, just to be safe.

[–]raanne 3 points4 points ago

After you have a kid (or 2 or 3 or whatever, depending on who you are and your tolerance for the process) there comes a time when your baby-craycray becomes "oh that's so cute, thank you for letting me hold your baby, I'm glad i don't have to go through that again"

We debated 2 or 3 kids for a while, but I knew 100% 1/2 way through the second pregnancy that there was no way I was going to do this again. Now I just wait for my siblings to have them to get my short term fix.

[–]Laudanum 4 points5 points ago

Oh god, that is terrifying.

[–]zoey732 3 points4 points ago

I know that feel.

[–]fractalfarmer 5 points6 points ago

Ever been so hungry or thirsty you would sell your own grandmother for glue?

[–]QuadFermented 4 points5 points ago

I think I have the cure for what ails you. Caution: do not click link if you want to continue being baby crazy. Or have a good day.

[–]SpecialLadyFriend 6 points7 points ago

Having had two, I am totally over the whole baby craze, but that video made me want to grab a baby and care for it.

And holy hell - my daughter had colic too. I've never heard another baby have that same hissing howl. She cried once for three hours because I sneezed. It was traumatic!!

[–]QuadFermented 3 points4 points ago

The only silver lining I can think of is that no matter what your daughter does for you, she will still owe you. In fact, if I ever have kids, I am taping their tantrums to play back to them when they inevitably criticize my parenting decisions.

[–]SpecialLadyFriend 4 points5 points ago

Can't say that any more. She's now 8, and she is the sweetest and most well behaved child I know. From age ~ 12 months to now, we've had the easiest jobs as parents. Hopefully that trend doesn't reverse back in a few years!

[–]fun_young_man 3 points4 points ago

That seems like a really shitty attitude. They didn't choose to be born and they didn't choose to have you as parents. You can't owe a debt you never consented to.

[–]PattynSuicide 34 points35 points ago

Veginas? Love it, haha.

That is adorable. You're an awesome mum.

[–]arthurstone 25 points26 points ago

She does seem to have covered all of the main points.

[–]Luxieee[S] 60 points61 points ago

Original

And as to everyone saying that OP is a good mum, username is david7902 so if I had to hazard a guess, he's the proud Papa. :D He's doing it right!

[–]redheaddit 28 points29 points ago

This is great! I love how she inherently gets what it seems so many fail to understand - being an employed women with intelligence, power, and creativity is not mutually exclusive from being a women who is (or may become) a mother.

[–]fa_cube_itch 18 points19 points ago

"We are smart. We have power." thumbs up

[–]Hazel_024 6 points7 points ago

Yes. We get jobs, and have POWER!! This girl is going places in life.

[–]complexitii 13 points14 points ago

Milk in bobes ftw!

[–]Astro_nauts_mum 24 points25 points ago

What a proud and delighted mum you must be!

(still chuckling)

[–]FlaviaTitus 176 points177 points ago

One is a "gift to the universe" because they are born female? Seems whoever is doling out these assignments is going to have a very entitled lady on their hands.

[–][deleted] 124 points125 points ago

Yeah I have never understood why it can't be "people have worth" instead of "my special group has worth".

And honestly...the "universe" isn't a conscious being who gives a shit about anyone. Why do people have to hyperbolize so much?

[–]sharilynj 157 points158 points ago

She's being told that women have worth now, because pretty soon she's going to start receiving the opposite message.

I was told the same thing at a young age, and I blissfully lived my youth thinking I was seen as equal to men. Those were good times.

[–]spaceylacey83 79 points80 points ago

I was told the same thing at a young age, and I blissfully lived my youth thinking I was seen as equal to men. Those were good times.

I felt this way too. I'm nearly 30 now, and I still feel this way.

[–]AngryPterodactyl 14 points15 points ago

I (a female) am currently in school for a profession that so far seems male dominated. I have a male professor that singles out females and gives them a hard time because "that is how the real world works." And I think it is bullshit!

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

So explain to her that there are shitty people in the world who will try to break her and others down. I don't see the point of telling someone you are special BECAUSE you are female or male or black or whatever. We are all people...and we all live in a world with varying political and social cultures. Focusing on the gender is wrong in my view.

[–]onlyinvowels 6 points7 points ago

It never occurred to me that I may have to one day have that talk if I have a daughter. This makes me sad :/

[–]Hoelt 39 points40 points ago

It is being written by an 8 year old. This discussion is off topic. Obviously the 8 year old is referencing the idea that they as an individual are a gift to the universe, because women are 'gifts to the universe' meaning that they're not lesser beings or somesuch. It's sort of one of those meaningless inspiring self-esteem phrases that don't actually make much literal sense but people say anyway and have an ounce of truth behind them. I don't think this is entitlement at all but simply the quoting of a cliche.

It's sort of like when people say "my culture is a gift to this country"-- it's sort of true, diversity is a gift to the world and something to share and be proud of, and that's a nice thing to say because it is a positive way of thinking about your culture (or your gender), but the person saying that is not necessarily saying that they are, by default, the most wonderful gift to the universe because they are entitled to be. Anyone who interprets such a sentence literally is just trying to shoot down peoples' self-pride for the sake of starting an argument, can you really not read between the lines?

I don't know why you guys are politicizing this so much. Girls even from a young age, or really any individual, can feel undermined or negative about themselves and/or their gender... saying a self-pride statement like this is positive. It's not that intellectual or technically correct, but it sure isn't entitled.

[–]spaceylacey83 46 points47 points ago

The bit about women being gifts to the universe wasn't written by an 8 year old.

[–]guysmiley00 16 points17 points ago

It is being written by an 8 year old.

As others pointed out, that phrase clearly wasn't.

This discussion is off topic.

This is an argument to be proven, not a declaration to be made.

It's sort of one of those meaningless inspiring self-esteem phrases that don't actually make much literal sense but people say anyway and have an ounce of truth behind them.

It's either "meaningless" or it has an "ounce of truth". Which is it?

It's sort of like when people say "my culture is a gift to this country"

Except that it isn't. If your culture is a gift to the country, you'd logically want to learn about it and educate others concerning it. Culture exists independent of the individual, not inherent to them. If you're a "great gift" simply by existing as a female, where do you go from there? Can you strive to be "more female"? To be more in existence? What goal is suggested by that statement?

Anyone who interprets such a sentence literally is just trying to shoot down peoples' self-pride for the sake of starting an argument,

You say this like it's a bad thing. Humans already have a tendency to be rather self-absorbed and conceited, traits which are actively encouraged by consumerist culture to sell product (fun game; count how many ads you see that tell you you "deserve" something or that you're "worth it". Amusingly, they never seem to admit the obvious counter-argument; if I'm "worth it" and I "deserve it", surely you're not going to make me pay for whatever it is?). We seem to be surrounded by a culture that promotes and is plagued by such undeserved pride. I deserve fame for no real talent. I deserve a huge house I can't afford. I deserve an outrageous bonus for a comparatively unexceptional amount of work. I deserve to skirt the rules and laws of "normal" society, because I'm inherently special, and that specialness is meaningless if it isn't recognized via exceptional treatment.

Girls even from a young age, or really any individual, can feel undermined or negative about themselves and/or their gender

Sure. But why simply take the knee-jerk opposite reaction to someone being made to feel bad about ascribed characteristics by making them feel good about said traits? Why not transcend the issue altogether? Why not say, "It's not "good" or "bad" that you were born a certain way; it just is. Let's focus on giving you ways to feel good about yourself in areas you can control"?

saying a self-pride statement like this is positive. It's not that intellectual or technically correct, but it sure isn't entitled.

It's really the definition of "entitled", because it accords pride to the individual for traits they possess purely by chance. Demanding something you had no hand in earning is pretty much what "entitled" means. Instilling a sense of pride in kids is great, but why not make it pride in things they do, rather than things they are? Interestingly, that seems to be more-or-less what the little girl did here; she talked about all the great things girls can do, rather than what's great about girls just because they are girls.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

The whole "WOMEN ARE A GIFT TO THE UNIVERSE" propaganda is what I take issue with. Kids are not morons. Teach them all people have worth and explain life. Teling them grand nonsense just disappoints them later and makes them distrusting. You don't need to hyperbolize to such ridiculous degrees to give someone self worth.

[–]Luxieee[S] 29 points30 points ago

Because it feels good to be told you're special? I wouldn't give my 8 year old the "You are NOT a unique and beautiful snow flake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else" speech. Gender is a big part of a persons identity. Let them be proud of it.

[–]onlyinvowels 12 points13 points ago

That's how I see it. It's the same with racial identity, and even gender preferences. We have gay pride parades, and people complain way less about those than about one little girl's writing assignment...

[–]guysmiley00 0 points1 point ago

Gay pride is a specific reaction to severe and often active societal repression (e.g., gay teachers being fired), and moreover it's one performed by adults who are free to make their own choices about their identity. Telling kids "gay is good" is still dictating to them how they should feel about it. If a kid chooses to say, "Yeah, I'm gay, but that's just how I am. My identity is that of a good student, good friend, and decent person", where is the space in "gay is good" to allow them to form and retain that identity? I would think just telling kids "some people are gay, some people aren't" is a more inclusive approach. We need to allow people all appropriate options, including neutrality.

Making decisions you think are good for repressed groups is still making decisions for them, rather than letting them decide for themselves. In fact, most decisions regarded as oppressive today were made with just the same "this is what's good for them" justification in their time. The "White Man's Burden" comes to mind.

[–]RelationshipCreeper 6 points7 points ago

Kids need to be told things in more concrete terms than "Some people are gay, some people aren't." As an adult, you understand that the implication is that people are "equal," just as good as each other, etc. That's a really embedded, subtle message that we understand from context, as adults.

Studies have shown that if you tell kids that "everybody is equal," or other vague feel-good appeals, they don't get it. They need to be told, in concrete terms, that black people can be just as smart and successful, gay people can be just as loving, dignified, wonderful and valued people, and girls can be just as powerful and awesome as boys.

The world is telling them the opposite, and unless you give them really direct messages, they'll eat it up.

[–]onlyinvowels 5 points6 points ago

I'm interested in seeing that study. Not challenging you, just curious about it.

[–]RelationshipCreeper 6 points7 points ago

It was mentioned in this article, which I really recommend. I'm not sure whether that's the original version, but maybe it just looks different because I read it on my phone...

[–]guysmiley00 15 points16 points ago

Because it feels good to be told you're special?

Lots of things feel good; it doesn't necessarily mean that they're a good idea. 8-year-olds often feel good about living on marshmallows and Tang, but that doesn't mean we let them do it.

I wouldn't give my 8 year old the "You are NOT a unique and beautiful snow flake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else" speech.

Maybe not in those words, but I don't think it's a bad concept to teach. You're a person, like everyone else. You have the potential to be good and bad. You should take pride in acting as the sort of person you'd be proud to know. Teaching kids to be proud simply because they exist sets them up for a real shock upon entering a world that doesn't accord any accolades for the fact.

Gender is a big part of a persons identity. Let them be proud of it.

Why is being proud of your gender any better than being proud of your skin colour? While people certainly shouldn't be ashamed of ascribed characteristics, I'm not sure the solution is making them proud of same. If you're concerned about girls being made to feel ashamed of their gender, why not teach them that it's just another way people are, and that women can be as smart and hard-working and kind and decent as anyone else (as well as being as bad a person as anyone else, but that might be a discussion for later years)?

When you teach people to be proud of ascribed characteristics as a counter to being ashamed of them, you're still reinforcing the original idea that the ascribed characteristics are a hugely important part of who they are. Isn't that counter to the goals of feminism? Don't we want little girls and boys to believe that what they're born as matters less than the people they choose to make themselves? Aren't we trying to free people from the idea that what they're born as, be it male or female, black or white, tall or short, etc., should and will play a huge part in how they are able to define themselves? If a girl or woman wants to define herself primarily as an "engineer" or "activist" or "athlete", should we really be telling her that she should really be most proud of being a female any one of those things? Shouldn't that choice be left to her?

[–]notactuallyagirl 13 points14 points ago

Sex and skin color are innate, not ascribed. Your argument is valid, and I agree with you, but you're using the wrong word. Ascribed means given or assigned by others.

[–]guysmiley00 5 points6 points ago

Depends on context. Gender and skin colour are both innate and ascribed, because they're often societal definitions. Someone considered "black" by the KKK might not be considered so by a black-supremacy group, for instance if they have a "white" parent or grandparent. As for gender, there's a whole host of issues involved, like chromosomal gender, physical gender, societal definitions of gender, etc.

So, yes and no, I guess. But good point.

[–]notactuallyagirl 3 points4 points ago

That's all fine with me.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Way to hyperbolize in the OPPOSITE direction.

You don't get it.

[–]Hayleyk 1 point2 points ago

Hahaha! You must be new to twox. If there is one thing I've learned here, it is that it is much easier to tell women to value themselves than to point fingers at those who might try to take them down.

[–]Foxtrot56 7 points8 points ago

That is still wrong and not constructive, it helps inflate the cultural divide of male and female in education.

[–]Shmaesh 10 points11 points ago

How do you know the boys weren't writing about what makes them special as boys?

[–]Foxtrot56 5 points6 points ago

I don't but that too would be a problem I think.

[–]guysmiley00 3 points4 points ago

There's a difference between having "worth" and having "potential". I'm totally behind teaching girls (and boys) that they have the potential to do and be all sorts of wonderful things, and that they should pursue them. I am somewhat leery of the whole "you're special just for being you" thing, both because it seems to teach complacency and because, frankly, it's really not a good reflection of how the world works. You're not going to get food and shelter and everything else you need simply by virtue of existing. You'd have to earn it in nature, and you have to earn it in society.

If you're already imparting a "great gift" to the "Universe" simply by virtue of existing (and possessing a certain set of chromosomes), why on Earth would you ever bother to challenge yourself?

[–]Aphrodesia 2 points3 points ago

In all fairness, I'm a girl and have gotten lots of free dinners and "sleepover" offers.

That said, I couldn't agree with you more.

[–]guysmiley00 2 points3 points ago

Point. Still, I'd point out that said offers are more likely to be extended to a woman considered societally attractive, so not just on the basis of gender. It's sort of like how "white male privilege", while certainly real, is not an equitable phenomenon. There's lots of poor white males who get screwed by the system, though almost certainly not to the extent of many other groups. Privilege is a complex subject, governed by many factors.

[–]Aphrodesia 1 point2 points ago

Fair enough, this is true!

[–]duckduck_goose 23 points24 points ago

Right why should we have things like Black History Month? We should just have people history month! Why should we learn about gender equality or race equality in school at a young age!? Why on earth would we need to talk about women in a mixed gender school! I mean it's not like things like men pushing girls out of the way in class when it's anything from show and tell to answering a question on the blackboard doesn't start ... you know ... pretty early on in public education classes. Now why on earth would teachers want to empower and let girls have a chance to speak?

No clue.

[–]silverpoon 1 point2 points ago

i see what you did there.

[–]guysmiley00 12 points13 points ago

Black History Month isn't about saying that being black is a great thing. It's about highlighting neglected contributions and narratives. If people want to take it to mean being black is a positive thing, they have that right, but they can also take it to mean that being black doesn't have to have an impact on how they choose to view themselves, positively or negatively. It's also just a way to give everyone a better understanding of the history of their society.

"Equality" isn't about putting a positive value on something historically given a negative value. It's about giving people the space to understand that differences don't have to be positive or negative; they can also simply be. If a black person wants to define themselves as a "doctor" rather than a "black doctor", they shouldn't be discouraged in doing so. It's not about telling people that X is good instead of bad, it's about educating people about X and letting them decide what value they choose to put on it.

[–]Cromlech 2 points3 points ago

Celebrating diversity and being proud of who you are is one thing, teaching children they are "a gift to the universe" because of some trait they are born with is another. The point some are trying to make is this kind of thing goes too far in the opposite direction. Empowering girls means teaching them they have worth, are equal to anyone else, and are capable of being whatever they want to be in life. Just throwing out meaningless fluff phrases like "you are a gift to the universe" just for being a girl does more harm than good.

[–]duckduck_goose 5 points6 points ago

Yes, reading this assignment done by an 8 year old girl it's clear the power has gone right to her vegenia and bobes.

[–]Cromlech 7 points8 points ago

I'm not objecting to what the 8 year old girl wrote. I'm objecting to what the adult teacher wrote, up top, as the assignment.

[–]blueberryyumyum96 5 points6 points ago

Because society treats women like shit! There is absolutely nothing wrong with teaching young women to celebrate everything that they've been told makes them "inferior" by this male-dominated world. The assignment wasn't to write why women are better than everyone else, it was to write why women are important, and that's a question that many young girls might not even know how to answer these days.

Men KNOW they're important. Men are PROUD to be men. Being a woman isn't something to be proud of when you're just another cog in the patriarchal machine. And you know what? If the assignment HAD been to write down reasons why women are better than men, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, let some young ladies feel like they're WORTH SOMETHING for once.

[–]Ihatethisplace_ 2 points3 points ago

My aunt was talking about her resentment of men when she was young the other day and that when she was a young girl she thought men were invincible, that they didn't have feelings. Now she has raised three boys and obviously knows they are not and do.

Men KNOW they're important. Men are PROUD to be men.

Could you not also think like this perhaps? Also, you aren't worth anything, except to family, and as a young man growing up I've never been lead to believe otherwise. I'm not blaming anyone because I don't, can't, care about them either.

Edit: Except of course to grace them by not murdering them haha

[–]SteamboatWhitman 2 points3 points ago

please, a womans subreddit is not the place for feminism. Dont you know the patriarchy is a lie women use to keep the mens down?

[–]FlaviaTitus -2 points-1 points ago

Furthermore, people do not "deserve" to be celebrated merely for existing. That is a great problem today, a lot of entitled people that think they deserve the world because they were born. People should accomplish things worth celebrating before they are celebrated.

[–]Luxieee[S] 12 points13 points ago

Really? Aren't birthday parties pretty common in the world? That's celebrating each year that they are alive and on this planet. Everyone deserves to be celebrated for existing.

[–]guysmiley00 4 points5 points ago

Birthdays are usually celebrated by friends and family, with whom you usually have a more intimate relationship than each simply existing.

[–]Luxieee[S] 5 points6 points ago

I didn't say everyone is celebrated by everyone, but everyone should be celebrated by SOMEONE.

[–]guysmiley00 0 points1 point ago

You were using the idea of birthday parties to counter the idea that people don't deserve to be celebrated for existence by demonstrating that they are, an idea I found a bit faulty. Responding to that by saying everyone should be celebrated by someone is really just countering, "No, they shouldn't" with "Yes, they should". It's not a very convincing rebuttal.

I'm not coming down on either side as regards birthday parties, but just pointing out that your assertion could use some support.

[–]FlaviaTitus 2 points3 points ago

You have missed the entire point, not to mention your argument is a red herring.

[–]Jahonay 6 points7 points ago

Exactly, the mentality should be "we are all great", not "only we are great".

[–]duckduck_goose 13 points14 points ago

Didn't take long for the "people train" to come through here. This is why we can't have nice things in TwoX because everytime it's a cute or rad woman focused topic everyone has to jump on the wah wah wah equality bandwagon.

[–]FlaviaTitus 21 points22 points ago

NO. It's stupid for us to tell ANYONE that they are a special gift to the universe because they exist.

One of the main trends of XX is showing that words have meaning. Telling someone who has contributed nothing that they are a GIFT to the UNIVERSE is a recipe for entitlement. The universe is the gift, not you.

[–]longrunfun 6 points7 points ago

I can't get over the fact that a subreddit dedicated to women is so...against women.

[–]moarroidsplz 8 points9 points ago

How is saying that against women?? No one is a "gift to the universe" because of their genitals, and telling children that is nonsensical.

[–]duckduck_goose 3 points4 points ago

Me neither but this is reddit so nothing is shocking anymore. I just go limp.

[–]Fushifuru 15 points16 points ago

What's "preanet"?

[–]helloeleni 37 points38 points ago

Pregnant? I assume she knows what pregnancy is if she knows that boobs have milk in them. This is absolutely adorable.

[–]moxiepuff 49 points50 points ago

bobes have milk in them

FTFY.

[–]aennil 7 points8 points ago

I'm assuming pregnant.

[–]orsr 3 points4 points ago

we have milk in our bobes

Your daughter rules!

[–]mechanical_bullshit 18 points19 points ago

You know, as wonderful as the child's response is, I do have to take issue with the writing prompt itself. Not for the same reason as everyone else, though. Ever go to the "new baby" section of the greeting card aisle? For boys -- and I realize I'm generalizing here -- they have cartoonish pictures of footballs and dirty sneakers and teddy bears, they make gently amusing references to the idea that little boys will run around and destroy the house in a few years, things like that. It may be a stereotypical view of boys, but at the very least, it treats them like people who will one day have personalities and interests.

For girls, though, it's very different. Pink hearts and ribbons and sparkles everywhere -- nothing about the people they might become, just things that we like to decorate them with. The text of the cards tends to refer to girls as "precious gifts" and "blessings" and "little treasures" and such, like they're a piece of jewelry or something. Basically, a baby boy is a small person, but a baby girl is a small pretty object. Again, I'm generalizing a lot here, but it is a trend I've noticed.

Maybe I read too much into things, but I don't think we should teach girls that they're "gifts" or whatever, because I don't find it any different from the usual message they get from the media. "You're a special object to be protected, you should be put on a pedestal and subsequently thrown in the trash if you fail to live up to expectations." The second part of the prompt ("Some of the wonderful things about being a girl are...") would have been perfectly fine without the first part.

Tl;dr -- I can spend all day overanalyzing a single sentence.

[–]pvtshoebox 3 points4 points ago

I totally get your point, but can you understand that hearing "women are a gift to the universe" might sound a bit anti-male to some?

It's all reflexive.

[–]BluShine 2 points3 points ago

Agreed. But I think we can all (except for a few crazies in here) agree that "you are a special gift" is a bad mentality to have, and not something we should teach children. People seem to constantly complain about how "entitled" kids are these days, and "you're a gift to the universe" is the definition of entitled.

[–]midlifeisis 24 points25 points ago

Parenting- you're doing it right.

[–]EcureuilSecret 6 points7 points ago

You must be very proud. And it's adorable to boot! Seriously though, whatever you're doing you're doing it right. Raising children well adjusted and empowered enough to write and say things such as that is something I aspire to.

[–]laymedown 3 points4 points ago

Glad it was re-posted (I suggested over on orig)! And Bravo on raising such a smarty pants!

[–]girlwithblanktattoo 5 points6 points ago

Short and to the point. Nice.

[–]hiscifi 3 points4 points ago

your 8 year old has a helluva handwriting.

[–]raanne 3 points4 points ago

Looks like you made it onto Jezebel

[–]hardlyaware 8 points9 points ago

I like her thinking! Woman power!

[–]Naughty-Penguin 4 points5 points ago

Aww that made me smile!

[–]Blue_nova 1 point2 points ago

I hope an have a daughter as awesome as your's someday. You must be one proud Momma to have a daughter like her. =)

[–]theworldisanoyster 4 points5 points ago

Yes!

[–]hoobsher 5 points6 points ago

nothing quite like a nice pair of bobes.

[–]dudenumberone 2 points3 points ago

well, they do have veginas.

[–]Phlexonance 2 points3 points ago

we have pewer

pew pew

[–]VoiceoftheDarkSide 2 points3 points ago

"We have milk in our bobes". New slogan for rallies?

[–]Pepper_the_rat 1 point2 points ago

I like this.

[–]andsuddenlywhoo 2 points3 points ago

Your daughter, my hero.

[–]mairmere 2 points3 points ago

You are a good parent!

[–]solemnversifier 3 points4 points ago

This is amazing. You have raised her well.

[–]AnnHogVeal 3 points4 points ago

Preach.

[–]bidloo 1 point2 points ago

i love this so. much.

[–]sing_those_blues 5 points6 points ago

i was actually a little creeped out by the "we have power" at the end. sounds like something fem-villain in the making would say.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

Ouch, really? She's 8, yo.

I'm 19 and consider myself a seriously badass awesome muthafucka, and if the occasion calls for it I would say that I, too, "have power". I don't think that makes me a radical MRA though.

If we must raise gender-political issues over this then I think the first thing I would point out is the question (mentioned in the /r/Parenting thread) - "Would the boys' assignments call 'being male' a great gift to the universe?"

It's possible that some people would be hesitant to set such an assignment, out of fear of sounding sexist. I sincerely hope the other assignments said that, though, because it's pretty damn amazing to be alive at all, male or female, and understanding that is probably one of the most important things anyone can know.

It doesn't make david7902's daughter a "fem-villain in the making" because she realises this. It makes her seriously badass and awesome. That's my two cents anyway.

[–]sing_those_blues 14 points15 points ago

jeez i was making a joke. when i read it, i pictured a little girl with glowing red eyes and a crazy grin. and then i pictured a comic book female super villain growing up from that child. i think you're obsessing over the gender wars a bit much.

since you mention it, i wonder if the boys were given the same assignment with the same wording about how men are gift, yada yada? i hope so.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

Ah, sorry, I guess I'm just used to seeing people take things like this pretty seriously on reddit. Knee-jerk reaction on my part; my apologies.

I only really mentioned the boys' assingment thing as an illustration of how I thought it was pretty neat to say you "have power", regardless of whether you're male or female, haha :)

[–]Graenn 5 points6 points ago

Sounds like something a person living in a democratic country would say. Am I the only one mentioning or at least thinking that term daily? Lol.

[–]ellywick 3 points4 points ago

You have a very inspiring daughter!!

[–]Chrominance 5 points6 points ago

That's extremely cute, lol. As a trans women though, it makes me feel kinda bad about my own body... I mean no offense or anything, I really don't. But some young women don't have veginas, can't get preanet, and don't have bobes. :)

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]not_a_wolf 1 point2 points ago

Cute but seems kind of fake. Hand writing is too good and the misspellings and incorrect grammar are more random than what typical 8 year olds have.

[–]kdubbs 1 point2 points ago

THIS was going through my mind...

[–]GreenVoltage 0 points1 point ago

Please save this for her to read when she is older! If I ever wrote something like this when I was younger I would have definatley wanted it saved to keep!

[–]sprinklesadded 0 points1 point ago

As a pregnant woman, this is kind if how I feel about womanhood at the moment. Power to the female body!

[–]taciturnreserve 0 points1 point ago

Parenting. You're doing it right. Congratulations on having a daughter that pragmatic.

[–]patio87 0 points1 point ago

Tell her to turn it in for the lol's.

[–]Ella6361 1 point2 points ago

Well, she pretty much summed it up.