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Parenting

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all 129 comments

[–]kittenstinkhauser 45 points46 points ago

I'd like to applaud you for teaching your daughter the term 'vagina'. It's shocking to me that more people do not, and how most find it off-putting to hear 'vagina' and 'penis'. They're the anatomically correct terms and nicknaming genitalia things like 'wee-wee' or 'privates' is just feeding into the subconscious of a child that these are taboo, secret things that should not be talked about. It's not a smelling-hole, it's a nose; they're not hearing-places, they're ears; they're not seeing-balls, they're eyes. Good on you for being mature enough to teach your child the proper name for a body part!

[–]amuse-douche 12 points13 points ago

We've actually read it's good to do this because a child molester will never use the anatomical names to refer to a body part, so teaching them the proper names for things will give you a red flag if they all of a sudden start using other names.

[–]miparasito 5 points6 points ago

But... won't they hear other names from other kids and stuff?

[–]Thro-A-Weigh 10 points11 points ago

You might have just ruined a perfectly good witch hunt.

[–]LePetitChou 7 points8 points ago

"Where'd you learn to call it a 'cock-pocket,' Cindy? WHO DID THIS TO YOU?"

[–]Inann 2 points3 points ago

Man who feel cocky have hole in pocket.

[–]rachellllll 5 points6 points ago

Amen, I am a girl and I vividly remember the day I learned the term "vagina". I was 8 years old and two of my friends were arguing over it was called a "Jemima" (like Aunt Jemima?) or a "vagina". looking back, it was a funny argument, but I can't believe it took that long for anyone to teach me the proper name for my parts.

[–]tarabluh 1 point2 points ago

Bajina

[–]delamarche 26 points27 points ago

I don't want to sound like a genitalia nazi, but the real proper name for the outside parts would be vulva. Calling it vagina is like calling a penis an urethra.

[–]kingoftown 15 points16 points ago

How do you know she was talking about the outside part? Quit being a penis nazi!

[–]revolvingdoor 1 point2 points ago

So... Which word should I switch in my vocabulary?

[–]LePetitChou 5 points6 points ago

I want to start calling my vagina "the revolving door."

[–]Glasya 2 points3 points ago

Agree. Ended up settling uneasily for mostly using 'privates' with my daughter because there's no very good name for the entire kit and caboodle, and because it reinforces that they belong to her. She does know the proper names and functions for everything.

[–]Febrifuge 2 points3 points ago

When I change her poopy diaper, I always tell my daughter "no poop in the vulva!"

[–]hasavagina 1 point2 points ago

Just a couple of weeks ago, my friend had one of those 3D ultrasounds and was finding the sex of her baby. I am a good 3000 miles away, but I was able to listen in and watch the live stream (it was really neat). Anywho, her 7 year old boy was there too, and a lot of family. The technician was checking around and then showed that he is a boy... by pointing out his "third leg" and a bunch of other euphemisms. I asked later if it was the technician working the ultrasound just being unprofessional but no, it was so her other son didn't hear the word "penis". It made me sad, but I wasn't going to say anything else.

[–]spandexqueen 2 points3 points ago

Came here to say this!! Upvote!

[–]david7902[S] 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for the affirmation, we've always felt that this was overall the best approach for many of the same reasons you cite.

[–]bkrav 35 points36 points ago

...We are the 51%

[–]Zay253 60 points61 points ago

In 27 years, I will be expecting her name as an option on the ballot to vote for President.

[–]Jagyr 103 points104 points ago

"Vote for Susie Smith - she's got milk in her bobes."

[–]D-Evolve 41 points42 points ago

Susie Smith - Creative, Milky and Vagina owner.

[–]shantali 4 points5 points ago

Vegina. That's a vegetarian version me guesses?

[–]kingoftown 3 points4 points ago

I'm a vagatarian.

[–]revolvingdoor 0 points1 point ago

That is what girl flowers have

[–]impatientingrid 13 points14 points ago

Too funny! Make sure you save this for her!

[–]muddylemon 6 points7 points ago

It's on the internet now, it will never go away.

[–]revolvingdoor 0 points1 point ago

Probably already on her Facebook page.

[–]laymedown 27 points28 points ago

Maybe share this on r/TwoXChromsomes?

[–]david7902[S] 2 points3 points ago

I'm not sure I know how to cross post, but it looks like someone did this already.

http://imgur.com/DWnYo

[–]Gymrat777 9 points10 points ago

Thats some good parenting right there!

[–]amaranthfae 11 points12 points ago

I'd say she nailed it.

[–]mamba_79 14 points15 points ago

If my girls have half her passion and confidence then I'd be a happy dad...good on her!

[–]Zarnath 3 points4 points ago

What is preanets supposed to be? Parents?

[–]KyrieEleison_88 12 points13 points ago

Pregnant.

[–]Zarnath 0 points1 point ago

Oooh. Thanks.

[–]icamefrom4chan 22 points23 points ago

Gift to the universe huh?

[–]danchan22 13 points14 points ago

The universe should be grateful that we exist.

[–]discdigger 11 points12 points ago

Hey! Two years ago you sent me a mix cd! Thanks!

[–]danchan22 11 points12 points ago

Ha, wow, I remember you! I'm sure you still listen to that CD every day, right?

[–]discdigger 12 points13 points ago

It is definetly somewhere in my car.

[–]kingoftown 1 point2 points ago

Relevant username? Or am I missing some sort of inside joke here?

[–]discdigger 0 points1 point ago

No, he literally sent me a cd, back when /r/mixcd did big, organized exchanges.

[–]vekthory 13 points14 points ago

I am a parenting expert by profession (and parent to a similarly confident teen girl) and I say to you that its evident you doing something absolutely RIGHT!!! Definitely save this for her. Good luck!

[–]adickshonestopinion 2 points3 points ago

Who assigned this to her? Was this at school?

[–]shadow1515 4 points5 points ago

Bobes? Someone has been listening to Deftones.

[–]joeflux 5 points6 points ago

My 3 year old daughter has started saying "Girls always win"

[–]dermanus 18 points19 points ago

I bet the boys assignment didn't say "Being a male is a great gift to the universe"

[–]miparasito 5 points6 points ago

Her answer is great but the assignment strikes me as weird. Seems like a lot of pressure to put on a young human. How about saying "YOU are a great gift to the universe" and leaving gender out of it?

[–]LePetitChou 8 points9 points ago

How about saying "YOU are a great gift to the universe" and leaving gender out of it?

I think the real problem is that kids are being taught that they're a gift to the universe. Period.

Self-esteem is good, but this is ridiculous.

[–]miparasito 2 points3 points ago

Good point. It's a weird assignment, period. How about "You are unique in the universe. What makes you YOU?"

[–]LePetitChou 3 points4 points ago

Better, but still so much smoke being blown up the collective rears of the next generation.

Unique? Yes, everything in the universe is unique. Every molecular combination that has ever existed was unique for that particular time/space (unless you want to get into the weirder aspects of particle physics... but I digress.)

The "special snowflake" school of child rearing is not especially effective at churning out productive-yet-humble members of society. It was always well-meaning, but never well established. I think we'd be better off teaching kids, "You're just like the next guy. What are you going to DO about it?" That message promotes tolerance and unity without discouraging hard work and self-determination.

TLDR: We don't need any more reality tv stars. Ever.

[–]david7902[S] 1 point2 points ago

This is a good point, and an equally valid if different prompt. The idea of her homework during the summer is to give her different things to think about. This one happened to be more focused on one aspect, which she can relate to and has begun to see within her society and world (and yes, I think it's ok to stretch our minds all the way out to the universe). Some assignments have been more directly introspective and focused on her, but we think it does her some good to think about the overall context that she exists within sometimes too.

[–]dermanus 0 points1 point ago

That would be a much better phrasing.

[–]AnalogDan 14 points15 points ago

I bet the boys won't be bombarded with how much they suck for the rest of their lives.

[–]dermanus 9 points10 points ago

No, they'll just quietly continue on making up the majority of workplace deaths after not performing as well in school.

[–]david7902[S] 1 point2 points ago

Our boy is still too young to do these writing assignments, but we do our best to make sure that he has an equally sound sense of self-worth. There are definitely some differences in the social baggage that our two children face, and we do try to be thoughtful of that. But for both basically we are just hopeful that we can mitigate a little of the unhealthy social patterns that they will face out in this world with some encouragements at home.

[–]lissyloo 0 points1 point ago

Good for you! You are doing what is so desperately needed to balance what the world will tell them. And I'm very impressed with her answer. It's a good pep talk for any girl :)

[–]axdzf 0 points1 point ago

Actually, it is already pretty even.

Men are overvalued for their accomplishments. Women are overvalued for their biology.

[–]ambiguously -2 points-1 points ago

There are reasons why girls in particular should be given more confidence and self-worth at young ages.

[–]dermanus 8 points9 points ago

What are those reasons? I have yet to hear a compelling argument for favouring one gender over another.

[–]queentilli 7 points8 points ago

Yes, but not to the exclusion of the boys. Currently, girls are being given more education than boys. Tipping the scales in favor of one gender or the other does no one any favors. Both sexes need opportunities. Boy need to be raised with respect and self worth, and girls do, too. Nonviolent communication training benefits both sexes.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

I'd say the flip of this is that boys need to be encouraged to pursue what they want without adhering to harmful gender roles, as well. While girls are socialized to be subservient and meek, boys are socialized (harmfully) to bottle up their feelings and emotions and not do anything that could be remotely seen as "girly", which then results in emotional issues going unresolved and a drop in creativity due to a stifling environment for fear of being perceived as a girl. More parents are encouraging their daughters to be bold and proud because that is something society does not encourage, and more parents are encouraging their sons to be empathetic and expressive because that is also something society doesn't encourage. It's not so much a pissing match as that both little boys and little girls benefit from parents who recognize that the social pressures on each differs a lot, you know?

[–]queentilli 1 point2 points ago

I don't disagree, but I don't see how what I said deviates from these lines, either. Definitions of gender roles don't have to necessarily be archetypal. :-) The beauty of being responsible for these little people is the ability to show them a better future than we were given. Build off lessons of today for positivity tomorrow, and all that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Oh, I didn't mean to be contrarian, just to kind of add to your point!

[–]queentilli 0 points1 point ago

Ahh! Yes. I definitely agree!!

[–]whiskeylogic 10 points11 points ago

who asks those sort of questions to an 8 year old??

[–]thesnowfox 25 points26 points ago

Someone who wants to challenge them and help them realize that being a girl is great! She aced this assignment I'd say.

[–]graffiti81 10 points11 points ago

I want to know what the boys assignment was.

[–]Luxieee 12 points13 points ago

I'd like to think it was the same thing but with it switched around to male and boy. OR maybe they have a 'boy pride' week and a 'girl pride' week, and in one week both genders have to do this assignment, the girl telling why her gender is so great and the boy telling why girls are so great, and then vice versa during the boys week! Man if I was a teacher I'd do the second one because that's a really great idea actually! It would teach pride in your gender AND teach you some great things about the opposite gender because you're forced to sit down and think about what are good things about that gender as well!

[–]satnightride 9 points10 points ago

Explain why being a female is great obviously.

[–]simpimp 16 points17 points ago

To which the obvious answer is: they have veginas.

[–]SensibleMadness 13 points14 points ago

Also bobes.

[–]killerstorm 13 points14 points ago

I'd rather help them realize that being a human is great, regardless whether you're a human with vegina or peenis.

[–]Luxieee 10 points11 points ago

I definitely think it's important not to be sexist to any gender, BUT I think there is real importance in empowering all genders to be proud of who they are. Our genders are a big part of our identity!

[–]itssexnotgender 11 points12 points ago

Both genders? All genders.

[–]Luxieee 8 points9 points ago

True thanks for the correction I'll fix that. :)

[–]Celarcade 4 points5 points ago

That's just awesome. Stuff like this makes my day.

[–]JakeLV426 2 points3 points ago

Looks like she's got the right ideas!

[–]kimbrella 2 points3 points ago

That is great. Throw it in her baby book!

[–]Frostie2013 3 points4 points ago

We have penises. We get jobs. We are creative. We have stuff that makes women pregnant. We have no milk in our bobes. We are smart. We have power.

[–]WednesdayLaw 2 points3 points ago

We have no milk in our bobes.

Actually...

[–]mrsmarvtracey 3 points4 points ago

Now that's my kind of girl! You raised her right!

[–]isthatagoodidea -1 points0 points ago

Beautiful. You're doing a great job!

[–]magdb 0 points1 point ago

[–]GreatBosh 0 points1 point ago

Annnnd it's on HuffPo

[–]gooflord 0 points1 point ago

Is your daughter Beyonce?

Who run the world? GIRLS

[–]og_sandiego 0 points1 point ago

<big smile ear-to-ear>

aren't kids just awesome?!?!

[–]d4rkhorizoN 0 points1 point ago

bf i m preanet

[–]robotwarlord -5 points-4 points ago

Fake.

[–]aumarsh -1 points0 points ago

yes - totally fake - did anyone else realize this is exactly 140 characters??

(i'm not saying it's not awesome, though)

[–]blackberrydoughnuts 2 points3 points ago

Why would 140 characters = fake?

[–]TheTaiPan -1 points0 points ago

Can't argue with that logic.

[–]claider -1 points0 points ago

If I could, I would upvote this once for you, once for your daughter, and once for all vaginas everywhere. But for now, as they say, an upvote for you, sir.

[–]lilguilf -2 points-1 points ago

Those are exactly the same reasons why I love being a female!