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1117
1118

Wait...is..he? No...MY BALLS!!! (imgur.com)

submitted ago by VAI3064

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[–]HighSpeed556 119 points120 points ago

That must be Raphael. He always was a brutal son of a bitch.

[–]RandomEarthling 17 points18 points ago

I always thought he was cool but crude.

[–]Derporelli 17 points18 points ago

...and Michelangelo was a party dude.

[–]davebond 9 points10 points ago

Be thankful it wasn't Donatello, he does machines.

[–]Gamion 9 points10 points ago

And Leonardo leads.

Too bad these posts manifested themselves in the wrong order, but I felt the need to complete it.

[–]runsoutofspace 0 points1 point ago

"I guess so... I don't really know what that means."

[–]OtherMikeP 2 points3 points ago

Give me a break.

[–]dannyrawk 1 point2 points ago

A little too Raph...

[–]CreepyUncleBeardo 277 points278 points ago

I've been there before and, speaking from experience, biting a dogs balls will always elicit this kind of reaction.

[–]B_S_O_D 62 points63 points ago

wat?

Challenge declined.

[–]twanathon500 80 points81 points ago

Dat username

[–]EsteemedGentleman 11 points12 points ago

Biting anyone's balls will elicit that reaction.

[–]p-Rob 3 points4 points ago

You spelled 'erection' wrong.

[–]BurntTheToast -4 points-3 points ago

Reminds me of this.

Be in kindergarten. There is a girl at naptime I really like. Lay down next to her. Kiss her neck and rub up on her. Next day. Naptime again. Lay next to her. Put hand up her shirt. Put cock in her ass. Use her blood as lube. Then she goes home and tells her parents. So nevertheless that was the end of my teaching career.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Gaaahh 45 points46 points ago

That just hurts to watch

[–]Leprechaun_18 84 points85 points ago

Up tonight on OW MY BALLS...........

[–]chrispdx 3 points4 points ago

Is the dog's name "Hormel Chavez"?

[–]A-BIG-FAT-FONY 34 points35 points ago

TIL never fight a turtle with your balls exposed

[–]dlawnro 16 points17 points ago

Is there anything it's a good idea to fight with your balls exposed?

[–]brazilliandanny 26 points27 points ago

The fellatio amazonian tribe from planet BJ-69.

[–]UncleTogie 6 points7 points ago

Yes, I often strip before a fight.

No one wants to fight the nekkid dude.

[–]podobuzz 11 points12 points ago

Your victim.

[–]finallymadeanaccount 1 point2 points ago

A gentle tub of lukewarm water.

[–]runsoutofspace 0 points1 point ago

I think Viggo Mortensen found an okay situation for this...

[–]arniegrape[!] 51 points52 points ago

I bet he wishes he was neutered now.

[–]SoylentMOOP 34 points35 points ago

I bet he wishes he was neutered now before.

[–]jea15001 14 points15 points ago

He's wishing in the present, not being neutered in the present.

[–]MooseRoomWithA 14 points15 points ago

He's implying that the turtle neutered the dog.

[–]SoylentMOOP 3 points4 points ago

Looks like his wish is about to come true.

[–]SoylentMOOP 16 points17 points ago

Original Video

First hit on the obvious youtube search: turtle dog balls

[–]fowlkris87 6 points7 points ago

It's so much worse with sound! Poor dog...

[–]notbob1959 5 points6 points ago

The original original is here. Just had to search for perro tortuga

[–]Forever_Awkward 74 points75 points ago

I sure do love knowing the punchline before viewing the content so I don't have to be bothered by that whole "laughing" ridiculousness.

[–]Rangourthaman_ 14 points15 points ago

If I don't laugh I can get through about 38% more posts per minute.

[–]free_hugs_or_buttSex 3 points4 points ago

When it comes to ball shots/bites, it doesn't matter whether I see it coming 100 miles away I still crack up.

[–]RenewableFlorida 42 points43 points ago

squirtle learned BITE!

[–]RetardSavant 16 points17 points ago

brb re-posting with this title

[–]Legolaa 9 points10 points ago

I will upvote that.

[–]SunshinePils 7 points8 points ago

I cringed and laughed at the same time. I think I dislocated my shoulder

[–]DJCleanPenis 10 points11 points ago

Bob Barker warned about this

[–]Tractor_Pete 2 points3 points ago

Slow and steady eventually gets you right in the balls.

[–]RobCo94 5 points6 points ago

There's a difference between a quick, hard nip on the balls and getting mauled... I personally hope the tortoise ok

[–]hannahpants 1 point2 points ago

My thoughts

[–]InnocuousJoe 4 points5 points ago

I once saw a turtle get attacked by a Jaguar.

Jaguar couldn't do a fuckin' thing, turtle just scooted up into his shell and chilled with aforementioned cat scratched and scratched at the exterior shell. Eventually get got bored and we moved on.

[–]RobCo94 0 points1 point ago

Jaguars tend to have bigger mouths, the dog looks like he was biting its head directly. But that's a brave little tortoise you speak of!

[–]InnocuousJoe 1 point2 points ago

That's a fair point, the jaguar in question was having a hard time getting any sort of purchase; then again, jaguars often resort to simply crushing the skulls of their prey so I'm not sure what his deal was.

The tortoise didn't really have an option: we were walking past and the jaguar spotted him, leapt into the bushes, and then spent 30 minutes trying to solve the problem...didn't work out.

[–]7joshy 5 points6 points ago

Slow and steady wins the race.

[–]giftedgod 17 points18 points ago

So, there's a human videoing this dog getting his dog's balls snapped on by a turtle. What... the... fuck. Never in my life do I ever defend animals, but this is fucked up. They're BALLS man. People with balls protect other's balls from turtles. That had to hurt so bad. Fucking hilarious.

[–]puterTDI 40 points41 points ago

no, there's a person filming a dog playing with a turtle.

Until the bite happened, how would the person know it was going to happen?

[–]halfveela 11 points12 points ago

People with balls protect other's balls from turtles.

This is never not relevant.

[–]giftedgod 8 points9 points ago

In ANY situation. If you win a battle because you let your enemy's balls get bitten from a turtle, you have truly lost the war.

[–]deepblue622 4 points5 points ago

Turtlelists win

[–]trancematzl15 4 points5 points ago

Hey dude, turtles live in the water, you mean tortoise

[–]Azgaja 6 points7 points ago

turtles live under our streets, duh!

[–]Meikov -4 points-3 points ago

Not all turtles live in water.

Also all tortoises are also turtles, but not all turtles are tortoises.

Post fact, get downvoted.

[–]giftedgod -1 points0 points ago

I thought I saw some long claws, which made me think turtle. I could be wrong. But you are right, sir. I just thought this was a turtle.

[–]trancematzl15 3 points4 points ago

You're welcome my friend ! I only know that because i have 2 tortoises here in germany and my first english lesson in my life was about pets

[–]Silvermax1234 -1 points0 points ago

actually your wrong tortoise and turtles are the same thing did a google search and found out tortoise is a made up word

[–]podobuzz 2 points3 points ago

People with balls protect other's balls from turtles.

I now know my purpose in life. To protect others' balls from turtles.

[–]theaggressivenapkin 1 point2 points ago

"Hey, wat are these grapes doing down here?" nomnomnom.

[–]Off_the_Walls 1 point2 points ago

So much responsible pet ownership in one GIF!

[–]ARC_Prisoner 0 points1 point ago

All of the men in my office simultaneously yelled as we watched this.

[–]Invad3r 0 points1 point ago

So much better with sound

[–]Kushy_Popcorn 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for stopping the video before the dog killed the turtle.

[–]Pmall3535 0 points1 point ago

Hey in a perfect world a dog vs tortoise fight would be fair. Its not , so the turtle has to use less then ideal tactics.

[–]Naked_Chicken 0 points1 point ago

I found myself sitting there just saying " oh no, oh no, oh no."

[–]watership 0 points1 point ago

The best part of the video is the sound. You did a disservice not posting it.

[–]Slothstranaught 0 points1 point ago

That made me cringe.

[–]reges123 0 points1 point ago

Poor turtle... he was probably just wanted some food:(

[–]EmpressSharyl 0 points1 point ago

That poor doggy.

[–]danny-flip 0 points1 point ago

Ooouuuuccccchhhhhh

[–]Drob10 0 points1 point ago

Haven't laughed this hard in a while!

[–]skillasaurus707 0 points1 point ago

dont turtles bite hard?

[–]internetsyndicate -1 points0 points ago

Kindof. Its enough to make ur balls hurt though. and your stomach

[–]FuckingTornadoes 0 points1 point ago

This gif never dissapoints.

[–]IRcitizen 0 points1 point ago

thats a bad time

[–]atlaslugged 0 points1 point ago

Let's all laugh at some poor dog's intolerable pain and possible serious injury. Hilarious!

[–]mgbliss -1 points0 points ago

If you look at the full video it is apparent that these are the worst pet owners ever. The dog obviously has fleas. He is chewing on the tortoise, they don't stop that. And then the see the turtle trying to bite the dogs balls and don't stop it? Fuck you. Protect your animals.

[–]Thinkiknoweverything -3 points-2 points ago

theyre mexican, they dont give a fuck.

[–]andi052 -1 points0 points ago

best gif I've ever seen

[–]titdirt -1 points0 points ago

"If anybody's gonna be putting their mouths around my balls it's gonna be me!"

[–]trubluciv -1 points0 points ago

off with his head!!!

[–]FloppyWonkers -1 points0 points ago

can someone slow this down to capture the terror on the dogs face?

[–]truthpooper -1 points0 points ago

that's horrible.

[–]nexus_5 -2 points-1 points ago

Why is that horrible?

[–]Chubs22095 -2 points-1 points ago

Poor guy...

[–]PelvisKick -2 points-1 points ago

I am thoroughly aroused...

[–]jedinatt -2 points-1 points ago

I don't like male dogs because their balls are always in the way waiting for you to accidentally touch when playing/holding said animal... and the drips after their recent peeing and jumping into your lap... ugh.

I appreciate seeing such a pro-active turtle. Down with the dog balls!

[–]setadoon177 -1 points0 points ago

That hurt me

[–]Shnazzyone -1 points0 points ago

Neutered

[–]learntofart -1 points0 points ago

I imagine this is how they neutered pets in ye ole timey days.

"Cheerio, good man, I have gathered our shielded reptile friend. I trust our good chum is ready for the procedure?"

"Certainly, old chap. Have at thee."

[–]lord_dude -1 points0 points ago

internet in a nutshell

[–]melotraumatic -1 points0 points ago

That's a great title you've got there.

[–]Gimli_the_Elf -1 points0 points ago

Well we've all been there

[–]sarsipius -1 points0 points ago

Relevant

[–]Amphoric -1 points0 points ago

andddd its gone!

[–]shebeen57 -1 points0 points ago

no, there's a person filming a dog playing with a turtle.

[–]Blinkfanforlife -1 points0 points ago

Doesnt matter still had sex

[–]LongDanglingDongKok -1 points0 points ago

r/WTF worthy for sure.

[–]Iplayroblox -1 points0 points ago

Now just an under carriage expection

[–]timemoose -1 points0 points ago

What kind of turtle is this?

[–]alonzo6310 -1 points0 points ago

It's a tortoise... Probably thought it was a fruit or something.

[–]shugr2th -4 points-3 points ago

Who ever recorded this is either fucking stupid or fucking cruel.

[–]ghodaz -2 points-1 points ago

As I man I knew where this was going and had to close it before I personally felt pain just seeing that go down...

[–]amolad -2 points-1 points ago

The the turtle, those are two ripe concord grapes.

[–]Legolihkan -2 points-1 points ago

I mean...you could always just make something funny up yourself... instead of taking credit for someone else's gif...

[–]VAI3064[S] 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure the person who made the gif weren't the people who recorded the video.

[–]Legolihkan 0 points1 point ago

and you are neither. if it's not OC, don't post it.

[–]digbus -2 points-1 points ago

Wonder what's on reddit today - oh just reposts...

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