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1142
1143

Turtles (imgur.com)

submitted ago by Ryssen

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[–]RevolutionNine 34 points35 points ago

I've seen Cannibal Holocaust. There's no treasure in there, just sadness.

[–]skitz1o1 5 points6 points ago

This gave me horrible flashbacks of that film.

[–]octalpus 1 point2 points ago

Just googled it. Shouldn't have. What is that even supposed to be about?

[–]skitz1o1 6 points7 points ago

Cannibal Holocaust is a controversial horror film filmed in a country with no animal cruelty laws. The filmmaker for what ever reason included multiple animal slaughters, the most disturbing of which is the actors tearing apart a turtle.

[–]octalpus 2 points3 points ago

:(

[–]toofatfor24 2 points3 points ago

it was banned in several countries. i think some thought the executions of people were real.

[–]heracleides 3 points4 points ago

They aren't? Why am I downloading this crap then?

[–]HippopotamusGirl 3 points4 points ago

I don't remember why I watched Cannibal Holocaust, but I'm still disappointed with myself for sitting through the whole movie. I generally like horror, but that movie was just vulgar.

[–]bleunt 0 points1 point ago

Checked it out. At least they killed it before ripping it apart. Unlike other clips I've seen.

[–]swimshoe 0 points1 point ago

Fuck, that was the worst thing ever, probably then any other death in any other movie...

[–]ramirezdoeverything 1 point2 points ago

The turtle scene is one of the tamer animal killings in that film. The cutting off a monkeys face and the stabbing in the neck of a muskrat are worse.

[–]Axoren 0 points1 point ago

Still nowhere near as bad as some of the scenes from Spec Ops: The Line

[–]swimshoe 0 points1 point ago

I've heard some great things about that game...how is it?

[–]Axoren 1 point2 points ago

It's making me feel so many emotions.

I'm actually second guessing every choice I make and regretting ever one I've made.

[–]memejunk 0 points1 point ago

God I fucking hated that scene.

[–]ArmstrongStrongarm 0 points1 point ago

Yeah it got a bit gory

[–]crackdog 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for the reminder.

[–]Airsinner 0 points1 point ago

Oh fuck. Never again..

[–]RiNgO70 0 points1 point ago

Oh god, that made my stomach turn.

[–]Ottoblock 15 points16 points ago

From what I hear, this "treasure" is actually pretty tasty.

[–]IAteATurtleOnce 18 points19 points ago

I ate a turtle once

[–]ilikeCRUNCHYturtles 0 points1 point ago

Why only once?

[–]IAteATurtleOnce 0 points1 point ago

the treasure inside is as delicious as its hyped up to be

[–]Finnishalzheimerskid -1 points0 points ago

8 months, he checks out citizens, move along.

[–]PhotonicPirate 1 point2 points ago

Yarr, the treasure be delicious turtle soup.

[–]bpmead 8 points9 points ago

I remember the comic this is from but not the name. Does anyone know?

[–]bpmead 6 points7 points ago

I remembered: http://animalshaveproblemstoo.com/

[–]Lexirox 2 points3 points ago

That looks like "Animal shave problems too."

[–]trampus1 0 points1 point ago

I imagine a turtle would have a hell of a time shaving.

[–]Lexirox 1 point2 points ago

As would a crab.

[–]ly_yng 2 points3 points ago

This deserves more upvotes!

That was an excellent comic when it was running...

[–]RenegadeVacuum 0 points1 point ago

I miss "Animals Have Problems Too" !! Did anyone else get the book? I still flip through it. I have the Sheep poster framed in my apartment. :)

[–]All_Your_Base 8 points9 points ago

I like turtles!

[–]iliketurtles2795 5 points6 points ago

I'm pretty sure I like turtles more than all of you.

[–]zosoyoung 2 points3 points ago

You think so? Even more than iliketurtles2796?!?!

[–]trampus1 0 points1 point ago

Don't be crazy, such a user could never exist.

[–]iliketurtles2796 4 points5 points ago

Why did I do this. I feel dirty.

[–]megusta_tortugas 2 points3 points ago

Yo tambien.

[–]Beltranz -2 points-1 points ago

I like your name. Have an upvote!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Cyricist 5 points6 points ago

Don't worry guys, Captain Obvious has arrived, and he brought inappropriate ellipses with him.

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 17 points18 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/3kw26.jpg

[–]AndysCandys 2 points3 points ago

I will smile all day thanks to this!

[–]lisabadcat 0 points1 point ago

Oh god I just came from the Cannibal Holocaust thread and this did not help.

[–]biteurtounge 6 points7 points ago

After a storm, my brother and I found a dead turtle, cracked shell and guts. We're poking at it with a stick and lo and behold, a neatly folded up hundred dollar bill was inside. He grabbed it and ran inside where we flipped our shit, yelling and jumping, " we found money in a dead turtle!!!" Our parents were in disbelief, it just so happened that we piss poor at the moment. We were able to buy groceries and a little bit of firecrackers for the fourth. Its a pretty unbelievable story but man it was awesome finding it!

[–]Black_Mut12 2 points3 points ago

Its a lie!!

[–]Zamiel 1 point2 points ago

My roommate from china would beg to differ.

[–]NasalSnack 1 point2 points ago

If you break your turtle open, you're gonna have a bad time.

[–]chaotic_thundergod 0 points1 point ago

You're gonna have a shell of a time.

[–]Li_Klenning 1 point2 points ago

He doesn't deny it!

[–]Solar_Flare_Homicide 1 point2 points ago

I dissected a turtle in high school once, there's all kinds of goodies in there!

[–]snowbored10 1 point2 points ago

Then you shall guide me to the treasure

[–]InsertName78XDD 1 point2 points ago

One time I was walking along a road and saw a turtle just walking right in the middle of the road. I was about to go grab it when I saw a motorcycle coming, but he was in the opposite lane as the turtle so I decided I'd let him pass before aiding the turtle. The douchebag then swerved into the oncoming lane just to run the poor guy over. :(

[–]oyeboy 2 points3 points ago

I like toitles...

[–]BetweenJobs 0 points1 point ago

Fun fact: People used to actually believe that toads had gems inside of them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toadstone

[–]trampus1 0 points1 point ago

I blame video games. Look at all the cool stuff and points you get from slaughtering animals.

[–]asstits 0 points1 point ago

You're right though: their meat is quite delicious.

[–]nexus_5 0 points1 point ago

They are! Ans so is corn.

[–]CaptainXorro 0 points1 point ago

There is! It's called turtle and it's fucking delicious!

[–]A-BIG-FAT-FONY 0 points1 point ago

No treasure inside. Just a big lizard

[–]the_werellama 0 points1 point ago

My cousin used to believe that you could take a turtle out of its shell and stick it in a new one. He was 28 when he found out the truth.

[–]techmaster242 0 points1 point ago

The turtle is nature's suction cup.

[–]arostrat 0 points1 point ago

I'll regret this, but is there any pics of what a turtle looks like without its shell ?

[–]OutoflurkintoLight 0 points1 point ago

False.

Found a dead turtle on the beach once, was full of dead turtle.. also smells REALLY bad.

[–]FunUser 0 points1 point ago

Its true, i don't tell my girlfriend about the house centipedes in the shower curtain and our relationship is great.

[–]LaPoderosa 0 points1 point ago

I like toitles.

[–]Airsinner 0 points1 point ago

Turtles just want to eat lettuce. fuck. Let them eat lettuce man.

[–]fuckitsjohn 0 points1 point ago

I once cracked open a turtle for science class in middle school.

There was no treasure :(

[–]Ninjatertl 0 points1 point ago

D:

[–]alonzo6310 0 points1 point ago

Why did I do this. I feel dirty.

[–]innuendo819 0 points1 point ago

I like toitles.

[–]Antroh 0 points1 point ago

When I was younger I had this piece of shit friend that smashed a turtle with a sledgehammer. What I found out I was that there is a terrible stench that came from it.

I remember crying like a pussy over it.

There was no treasure.

[–]betss 0 points1 point ago

I like them.

[–]IwillMakeYouMad 0 points1 point ago

I once had a dream where I had a pet turtle and when I opened it a big tongue was inside the shell. This was recently.

[–]hackiepoodle -1 points0 points ago

turtle treasures

[–]whampbeef -1 points0 points ago

My dog once ate around my pet tortoise like a pasty. There were no signs of treasure inside. Just pain

[–]ParksVS -1 points0 points ago

"If you hit a midget on the head with a wooden stick he turns into forty gold coins!"

[–]sr20inans2000 -3 points-2 points ago

You Lie!

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