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all 160 comments

[–]NaClx 135 points136 points ago

I don't care how fat Val Kilmer gets. He was Doc Holliday, Elvis (True Romance), and he was awesome in The Saint, The Doors, and Heat. If you have that many great movies in your career you have my permission to spend the last 30 years of your life eating donuts.

Edit: Many users also mentioned Willow, which I failed to mention.

Edit 2: I can't believe I forgot to mention Top Gun.

[–]lateness 68 points69 points ago

He was awesome as Gay Perry in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, great movie in general if you havn't seen it.

[–]raging_asshole 8 points9 points ago

I was surprised how much I enjoyed that movie. Definitely a good one.

[–]AshsToAshs 6 points7 points ago

Great movie!

[–]panther55901 2 points3 points ago

I just watched that movie the other night and Val Kilmer was my favorite part! And that's saying something because I absolutely adore Robert Downey Jr. Very good movie, people should watch.

[–]megadriven 2 points3 points ago

If you look up the word "idiot" in the dictionary, do you know what you'll find?

A picture of me?

No! The definition of idiot, which you fucking are!

[–]WhaIDontEven 16 points17 points ago

Chris Knight in Real Genius. My first memory of him. Too cool. The first cool nerd that made it all better for me.

[–]Icouldbeanyone 4 points5 points ago

Real Genius is AWESOME!

[–]soal1 14 points15 points ago

Doc Holliday is, and always will be, my favorite Val Kilmer role. edit: "I'm your huckleberry." Sorry, I had to.

[–]PavementBlues 1 point2 points ago

Doc Holliday is one of my favorite anybody roles.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]soal1 3 points4 points ago

He says both.

[–]Ligaco 38 points39 points ago

I liked Batman Forever.

[–]NaClx 23 points24 points ago

Holy rusted metal, Batman!

[–]AsadRimmer 15 points16 points ago

What?

The ground, it's metal, and full of holes... you know, holy.

[–]blaknwhitejungl 4 points5 points ago

And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dust. She dusts.

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 2 points3 points ago

The best nod of all time to any predecessor.

[–]DoWhile 6 points7 points ago

Whoa, whoa, whoa... let's not say things we're going to have to take back later.

[–]ScottCarmichael 2 points3 points ago

Nicole Kidman was the best part...er, parts.

[–]Robotochan 1 point2 points ago

That phrase is only acceptable when followed by...

compared to Batman and Robin

[–]MrMono1 -4 points-3 points ago

...I like Batman and Robin better than Nolan's stuff...

[–]Patass 2 points3 points ago

you're a monster

[–]TheGreenShepherd 0 points1 point ago

I will back this up. Plus, Nicole Kidman never looked hotter.

[–]NaClx 12 points13 points ago

Plus, if you really want to point out the lowest part of the Batman phenomenon, please direct your attention here.

[–]bdkraem 13 points14 points ago

Dem nipples.

[–]AvoidingIowa 0 points1 point ago

Tactical Nipples.

[–]martyrdod 9 points10 points ago

What? You don't like batnipples and batcodpiece?

[–]NaClx 18 points19 points ago

Actually, I had the biggest problem with this.

[–]sloaninator 8 points9 points ago

I never leave the bat-cave without mine.

[–]Robotochan 6 points7 points ago

I'm pretty sure that 99.99% of the film was terrible. The only good bits were Schwarzenegger's cold puns.

Oh, and Alicia Silverstones arse.

[–]NaClx 6 points7 points ago

WAT KEELED DE DINOSAWS? DE ICE AGE!

[–]joshicshin 0 points1 point ago

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

He was Nick Rivers. Enough for me.

[–]lisabadcat 1 point2 points ago

I scrolled a long time for this, or I missed one or more clever comments while looking.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

You probably already know but in case you don't, you can use Ctrl F to search a page.

"Just something my father thought of when he was shaving" :)

[–]tomtermite 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for Top Secret ref

[–]dkdchiizu 0 points1 point ago

Upvote your upvote for Top Secret reference.

[–]360walkaway 8 points9 points ago

Dude... don't forget Iceman!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]NaClx 1 point2 points ago

I always forget to mention Willow when I talked about how much I like Val Kilmer. Noted for sure.

[–]kilo4fun 0 points1 point ago

They should have had John Holmes play John Holmes.

[–]irisher 4 points5 points ago

You forgot Top Gun. For shame

[–]cyberst0rm 3 points4 points ago

Don't forget the Salton Sea.

[–]nokstar 1 point2 points ago

His Doc Holiday was a fantastic performance.

[–]doctorunk 1 point2 points ago

also wonderland... he was john holmes

[–]WolfInTheField 0 points1 point ago

The porn star?!

[–]doctorunk 0 points1 point ago

yea he plays john holmes the porn star.. it's a good movie

[–]MY_COCK_KILLS_PONIES 1 point2 points ago

Let's not forget willow, everybody.

[–]Brammelam 0 points1 point ago

Definitely when you can afford them. I'd eat doughnuts everyday, but I'm broke.

[–]CreativityisGood 0 points1 point ago

Ill be your huckleberry

[–]great_gape 0 points1 point ago

Hey guys remember when i was a creditable actor?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Top Secret.

[–]chriswhat21 0 points1 point ago

Real Genius?

[–]s0urce 0 points1 point ago

Uh ICE MAN...HELLO?

[–]telindor 0 points1 point ago

you forgot real genius

[–]a-shoe 28 points29 points ago

**Remember when I was Jim Morrison?

[–]cwmonkey 27 points28 points ago

**Doc Holliday

[–]K3rfknpwnly 15 points16 points ago

He stole the whole movie. He was amazing.

[–]somenamestaken 1 point2 points ago

You can be my wingman

[–]K3rfknpwnly 0 points1 point ago

I'm a good wing man, "dibs on the fat one".

[–]LynkDead 8 points9 points ago

**Gay Perry

[–]benbeltran -1 points0 points ago

Best role ever.

[–]one_among_the_fence 5 points6 points ago

best role.

[–]hoyfkd 2 points3 points ago

**Mad Mardigan

[–]doctorunk 1 point2 points ago

**John Holmes

[–]PeteyWonders 35 points36 points ago

Here he is at the 2012 grammys. I hope I can be in that good of shape when I'm 52.

[–]bobthefish 39 points40 points ago

It's like he decided that he wanted to grow up to be Jeff Bridges instead.

[–]WolfInTheField -3 points-2 points ago

An even more awesome Jeff Bridges.

[–]YourOldBoyRickJames 13 points14 points ago

Shut the fuck up Donny!

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 0 points1 point ago

He needs a lifestyle lift.

[–]johnnytightlips2 3 points4 points ago

That is a man with no neck. No neck, I say.

[–]joshemory 1 point2 points ago

He's a spitting image of the dude.

[–]Herr_Derpington 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me, or does he have an uncomfortably long torso?

[–]otterknees 0 points1 point ago

I think it's an uncomfortably ill-fitting suit.

[–]ENKC 0 points1 point ago

Forgive me, but why is Val Kilmer at the Grammys?

[–]somerandommember 0 points1 point ago

Because he can

[–]EasyChief 0 points1 point ago

oh god he looks like Rick from Pawnstars.

[–]I_have_teef 4 points5 points ago

Batman Forever? Best I can do is Batman for two hours.

[–]97bluelights 92 points93 points ago

HE WEIGHS MORE NOW, THEREFORE I LOSE ALL RESPECT FOR HIM.

That's exactly how I see this going.

[–]zyzzogeton 26 points27 points ago

Happened to Marlin Brando too.

edit: I am leaving it "Marlin" and not "Marlon" because I am an idiot.

[–]2-long-didnt-reddit 14 points15 points ago

Marlin Brando

Yeah, that guy looks huge, must be all the seafood.

[–]ScottCarmichael 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of a bit off a Seinfeld episode.

"You know why fish are so skinny? ......They eat fish!"

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Something fishy about this...

[–]lordeddardstark 0 points1 point ago

Nemo Brando's dad

[–]somenamestaken 3 points4 points ago

They actually had to take special care when filming him during Apocalypse Now because he was so obese

[–]Deacon 0 points1 point ago

Why, so that wouldn't accidentally jostle the camera and break it?

[–]yorick_rolled 3 points4 points ago

Ugh. Island of Dr. Moreau.

[–]ScottCarmichael 0 points1 point ago

Wasn't there a freaky midget that played piano in that movie?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

*Marlon

[–]Sabbatai 1 point2 points ago

Yeah. Now he's just fat..man.

[–]qb_dp 15 points16 points ago

Even if Christian Bale were to gain all that weight, it would probably be to troll Val Kilmer by showing him how he can lose it in a month, Machinist-style.

[–]ScottCarmichael 3 points4 points ago

Ah, young people on Reddit are so cute.

Once you start to exit your 20s, your body stops being so helpful in terms of shedding pounds. You really gotta work at it as you age and your metabolism changes.

Oh, and the stresses of life? That can add weight like nothing else --- you don't have REAL stress when you're in college or younger than that.

[–]DrLasagna 4 points5 points ago

Have you seen Christian Bale's body transformations? They all took place after age 25 I'm pretty sure.

[–]ScottCarmichael 1 point2 points ago

He's an actor and is paid to do that sort of stuff to his body. He's an exception, not the rule. Val Kilmer was in just of good of shape earlier in his career, but as he hit his 40s and the roles vanished, so did his need to stay in super fit shape 24/7. Happens to virtually all celebrities as they age.

[–]DrLasagna 5 points6 points ago

Well the comment you replied to was specifically directed at said Christian Bale.

[–]qb_dp 1 point2 points ago

What you just said might be true. I wouldn't know, but I don't think that when you graduate from college, you are given ScottCarmichael's authorization to be stressed out, some people feel real stress before that age.

Anyways, what I said was simply a joke based on the fact that another actor, who also played Batman, is also famous for his fluctuating weight. His gains and losses are, however, completely voluntary. Hence the trolling...

[–]ScottCarmichael -1 points0 points ago

I know Christian Bale has done extreme weight loss then gain for roles, but he's paid to do that. That's his whole means of living (getting acting roles).

Normal people do not do that. And yeah, there are people who are very stressed out even before they exit their teenage years, but those are equally rare.

Once the safety net of parents and school goes away in people's mid-twenties, most people start experiencing real adulthood and all the stresses (career, relationships, bills, kids, death, illness, divorce, etc. that go along with growing up). And stress is totally linked to weight gain.

[–]qb_dp 0 points1 point ago

I don't completely agree with you, but i get the point that you're trying to get across. After my last post was a bit mean to you, upvotes for you on that one

[–]ScratchBomb 12 points13 points ago

i still liked him better than clooney for batman

[–]Robotochan 11 points12 points ago

That's like saying you prefer living to being stabbed in the balls.

[–]dietotaku -1 points0 points ago

i liked val better than clooney AND keaton. keaton didn't really look the part of "pretty playboy" bruce wayne.

[–]happylittlecodes 1 point2 points ago

I agree ... I thought he pulled off Batman well enough, but Bruce Wane? Not so much.

[–]CSboarder 6 points7 points ago

but he looks so friendly

[–]Operation_mongoose 7 points8 points ago

When the fuck was Sammy Hagar batman??? J/K Val looks so friendly there you cant really hate on him.

[–]LessLikeYou 2 points3 points ago

About as well as I remember this being posted last time.

[–]Indieindie85 2 points3 points ago

I don't get it; Chaz Bono was never Batman.

[–]trueblueskies 0 points1 point ago

Gay Perry was Batman?!

[–]clownbaby007 1 point2 points ago

Strangely enough that's exactly how I feel when someone takes a picture of me. I think I'll look like fit Top Gun Val days, but end up looking like HH Val.

[–]Gothika_47 0 points1 point ago

From batman to fatman :(

[–]Abominotions 0 points1 point ago

I try not to.

[–]WIDE_OPEN_BEAVERS 0 points1 point ago

It's more the look on his face than the fact that he's slightly husky.

[–]mike_b_nimble 0 points1 point ago

Yes, unfortunately I do.

[–]NonSequiturEdit 1 point2 points ago

And now he is Chipmunkman.

I just want to throw peanuts at him, he's so cute.

[–]A7XA7X 0 points1 point ago

I actually liked him as Batman...

[–]calibrated 0 points1 point ago

TIL Val Kilmer was caressed by a District 9 Prawn.

[–]Deacon 0 points1 point ago

Not only Batman, but also Jim Morrison and Doc Holliday.

[–]the7thcolumn 0 points1 point ago

gay perry

[–]avonhun 0 points1 point ago

too soon.

[–]JKR93 0 points1 point ago

If you ain't first, you're last!

[–]I_have_teef 0 points1 point ago

Poor little guy

[–]mausphart 1 point2 points ago

Dear Val Kilmer,

I don't care how fat you get. Can we still be friends? You are super cool and I liked most of your movies.

Your friend (I hope, you haven't gotten back to me about the friend bit),

mausphart

[–]mcjinzo 0 points1 point ago

BAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA

[–]Tb1969 1 point2 points ago

He could have quit acting after “Real Genius” and still be remembered more than most people pursuing a carear in acting.

[–]ChavezMD 0 points1 point ago

Abed is Batman now

[–]Sergeantman94 0 points1 point ago

Better than clooney.

[–]skoot 0 points1 point ago

Pete Holmes was Batman?

[–]hwachob95 0 points1 point ago

I DO!

[–]jpep -1 points0 points ago

Hey guys, remember when I ate Batman?

[–]CuntyAlice 0 points1 point ago

--How silly can you get?!

[–]internetsyndicate 0 points1 point ago

NO. SHUT UP

[–]dizzygfunk 0 points1 point ago

At least he looks happy.

[–]nardsy13 -1 points0 points ago

REPOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]coolbeaNs92 0 points1 point ago

Oh Val

[–]FrequencyFunk 0 points1 point ago

the salton sea....cool movie

[–]TheCyn 2 points3 points ago

I think he's slowly becoming infected with the spirit of John Ritter. (http://cdn-images.hollywood.com/cms/294x255/1725450.jpg) RIght???

[–]AbbieX 1 point2 points ago

OMG....I never knew that Chastity Bono was Batman!!

[–]WolfInTheField -1 points0 points ago

Why did anybody ever give any shits about what Val Kilmer looks like nowadays? Holy fuck. Are we all that superficial? The man is an amazing actor. What more do you want from him?

[–]kiku23 1 point2 points ago

i don't care if this is a repost. I laughed so hard it made pop come out my nose.

[–]lintmonkey 8 points9 points ago

What was your father doing up there in the first place?

[–]kiku23 9 points10 points ago

Sorry, I'm Canadian. I meant soda.

[–]Renmauzuo 4 points5 points ago

(From a Chicagoan) You say "pop" too?

mycanadiannigga.jpg

[–]kiku23 2 points3 points ago

hell yea!

fist bump

[–]Petninja -1 points0 points ago

Those don't really exist.

[–]Deacon -1 points0 points ago

Ejaculating, apparently.

[–]Nuclayer -1 points0 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
More Like Fatman, amirite? 0coms 1pt 1mo pics
We'd rather not, Val... 2coms 10pts 2mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]mitcharoni 0 points1 point ago

and then ate him?

[–]PelvisKick 0 points1 point ago

Now he literally is in the Danger Zone.

[–]MegaSuperAwesome1214 -1 points0 points ago

[–]alwaysintense -1 points0 points ago

[–]Qender 0 points1 point ago

I heard he only put on that weight for a few months for a film role.

[–]FookingPrawns -2 points-1 points ago

Val Kilmer is FAT.

[–]Alacast_ -2 points-1 points ago

Interestingly enough, he was actually never Batman as Batman is a fictional character.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Rountree85 4 points5 points ago

Beware, most people don't really give a fuck.

[–]brew-Fu -4 points-3 points ago

Did anyone else read this in Urkel's voice?

[–]landica 2 points3 points ago

Hell no.

[–]scan2006 -3 points-2 points ago