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all 66 comments

[–]JesterAzazel 43 points44 points ago

This is not my proudest boner..

[–]awesome-face 4 points5 points ago

Odd, it is my proudest.

[–]i_fap_to_anything 2 points3 points ago

my proudest fap as well

[–]colonelsalt 4 points5 points ago

Due to my slowass internet, I saw that gif in slow-mo, which made it all the more arousing.

[–]turdyturd 1 point2 points ago

Your girlfriend is so lucky

[–]Diablo117 1 point2 points ago

He ate the toothpick o.O

[–]NinjaDog251 2 points3 points ago

Do you also floss it between your ears?

[–]HaloMediaz 22 points23 points ago

If the person asks, I see it going a bit like this: Person A: Does anybody want this last slice of pizza? Person B: I do Person A: fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]domcolosi 7 points8 points ago

No. Grown-ups realize that the person asking also wants the piece. The logical conclusion is to split it.

[–]Slactor 3 points4 points ago

Very much so, I've never seen it happen that person B gets it and A is left without!

Disclaimer: I don't hang out with douchebags.

[–]x10tx 0 points1 point ago

There is always one douchebag if you don't know him he's you.

[–]dan2737 0 points1 point ago

:( I must be the douchebag...

[–]SheaF91 0 points1 point ago

And then give the whole slice to the person who wouldn't think of splitting the precious slice and would rather let the other person have it.

[–]Dr_Wreck 0 points1 point ago

Grown-ups also don't use 'ffffuuuuuu'.

[–]danish_hole 1 point2 points ago

Big boys don't cry, big boys don't cry...

[–]tiyx -1 points0 points ago

Thou shall not split the last slice of ambrosia, for it would make the God's weep.

[–]iburnchildren 0 points1 point ago

You're doing it wrong. This is how the conversation is supposed to go:

Person A: Does anyone want this last slice of pizza?

Person B: I do.

Person A: That's unfortunate. Consumes pizza

[–]SaikoGekido 7 points8 points ago

Reminds me of this classic murder mystery.

[–]Fellow51 21 points22 points ago

Upvote for not starting with "for my cake day".

[–]7joshy[S] 18 points19 points ago

hahaha there was a temptation...but, if you obey the code, you receive the goodness.

[–]GallifreyKangaroo 1 point2 points ago

Happy Cake Day!

[–]JesterAzazel -4 points-3 points ago

You know what? That's a good point. OP, you can thank Fellow51 for my upvote as well.

[–]That0neGirl 1 point2 points ago

I laughed a little to hard at this.

[–]Vurmz 2 points3 points ago

Too

[–]KarmaAmirite 1 point2 points ago

speaking of which you have a slice of pizza next to your name! happy pizza day!

[–]kuole 2 points3 points ago

I live in Sweden and when I share a pizza with people it is divided in as many pieces as there are people and everyone gets their share, unless something else is specified. Usually everyone gets their own pizza though.

[–]BoxSquid 2 points3 points ago

Upvote for Swedish neutrality stereotypes.

[–]trebud69 4 points5 points ago

This made me laugh so much.

[–]7joshy[S] 6 points7 points ago

you know that feeling? when you divvy up the pizza, each person gets 4 slices...and someone eats five and you're stuck with three? instant rage (and a sad realization of obesity)

[–]Klowned 5 points6 points ago

That's why if I have more than 1 person eating I order more than one pizza.

How about when people don't eat the crust?

[–]boredandworking 7 points8 points ago

I hate it when people don't eat crust it makes me rush to my next pieces so I don't miss out!

I hate it even more when I pay for the pizza.

[–]7joshy[S] 10 points11 points ago

i hate it when girls come and just eat the pepperoni off the top.

[–]Dartakattack 7 points8 points ago

You actually have girls come to your house?!

[–]x10tx 0 points1 point ago

Or with the Pizza Hut cheesey bites they take the stuffed crust and leave the pizza in the box, so you have to eat the slice with no crust

[–]IronChariots 1 point2 points ago

Ugh, so wasteful. What, is motherfucking bread not good enough for people anymore?

[–]dalore 1 point2 points ago

With my friends it's usually the opposite. We are too polite to take the last one so it goes un eaten.

[–]swirly_doodle 0 points1 point ago

haha made me laugh

[–]Mercury4k 0 points1 point ago

That feel when they run out of your favorite kind at Dunkin' Donuts.

[–]BiologyNube 0 points1 point ago

come on. We all know ASKING if anyone else wants the last slice is just a formality :-)

[–]pastalord 1 point2 points ago

taxing the rich

[–]Stoy 0 points1 point ago

He does have a nice shit-eating frown though.

[–]BlamestheTerrorists 0 points1 point ago

The terrorists would take that pizza!

[–]azin_squeeze 0 points1 point ago

My first week in college our RA bought some pizzas for us and held a floor meeting. We all ate and the RA did his thing. One of the kids casually got up walked to the pizzas during the meeting and with the biggest "I have a boner" smile I have ever seen grabs the last slice of pizza and shoves it into his mouth. From that point on we all called him Last Slice Melvin... no one knew what his real name was.

Bonus story... Last Slice Melvin also quite frequently somehow manage to get shit all over the toilet seats in the bathrooms.

[–]wooogirl 0 points1 point ago

I feel the same way but when it's the last beer

[–]Decyde 1 point2 points ago

Lol, I made myself 3 hot dogs the other day and a friend showed up. He was expecting me to give him one and I ate it. He then asked what I had to eat around here and I said those hot dogs were the last of it.

[–]dumpnuggets 0 points1 point ago

Yes just yes

[–]evanthesquirrel 0 points1 point ago

WHO WOULD TAKE SOMEONE'S PIZZA ON THEIR CAKEDAY?

[–]otto831 0 points1 point ago

Too.

[–]chattyWw 0 points1 point ago

Hate it when I have no food left at home and order extra pizza the night before so I have something to eat when I wake up, but to find someone had eaten it!

[–]FordSVT1 0 points1 point ago

In Canada, we have fights over who will take the last piece.

"You take it!"

"No you, I'm full!"

"No, I insist, you take it!"

Another related phenomenon is the last doughnut/Timbit in the box that everyone is afraid to take for fear of appearing to be greedy.

[–]LakeStClair 0 points1 point ago

When first world people eat.

[–]stoffe75 -1 points0 points ago

In Sweden this isn't a problem, here we cut the last piece in two indefinitely be it cake or pizza or whatever.

[–]Globalwarmingisfake 17 points18 points ago

This sounds an awful lot like socialism.

[–]TheTedinator 3 points4 points ago

So you never run out?

[–]x10tx 1 point2 points ago

One Atom for you,One_Atom_for_youOne_Atom_for_you

[–]TeddyCarter 1 point2 points ago

My favorite scene from SBSP, ever. In that moment, Patrick epitomizes the selfish indolence that we all tend to associate with 'Merica. So deep.

[–]isthataquestion -2 points-1 points ago

ya because you took the last slice and you didn't contribute..... because you never contribute. http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3q5fkt/

[–]skanadian -3 points-2 points ago

Looks like he's been eating poo.

[–]Golemfrost -3 points-2 points ago

I never share my pizza,.. /insert forever alone image here. Hey wait a second i have a wife and 2 kids, but yeah i aint sharing my pizza´s

[–]Ghost_Eh_Blinkin -2 points-1 points ago

1) Everyday situation

2) Reaction .gif

3) ???

4) Profit!

[–]f0ster -2 points-1 points ago

what is the point of asking? it's just a fake social nicety

[–]derpstache 0 points1 point ago

Not necessarily. If you have an 8 slice pizza, and the person you are sharing with only had 3 slices (and doesn't seem like they are going to eat more) then asking is better than taking.

[–]f0ster 0 points1 point ago

well that's just gluttonous.. :-p