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top 200 commentsshow all 216

[–]deffsight 101 points102 points ago

Warranty becomes void if product is water damaged.

[–]sargent610 26 points27 points ago

"ribbed for greater satisfaction" "water" damage is assured

[–]stealthgerbil 8 points9 points ago

but you cant replace the water on your own

good thing i got applecare

[–]archfapper 5 points6 points ago

It doesn't cover that.

[–]TerryArchi -1 points0 points ago

To be fair, why would you want a warranty for a plastic bottle?

[–]mewditto 13 points14 points ago

It's apple brand.

[–]TerryArchi 1 point2 points ago

Bought by Apple consumers.

[–]miss_nightcrawler 19 points20 points ago

I'm going to just wait for water bottle two to come out. I hear they are putting a camera on it.

[–]Melvar_10 7 points8 points ago

but no retina display....

[–]Zerble 0 points1 point ago

iWater

[–]Thegreatbart 112 points113 points ago

Now for only $50!

[–]PhotonicPirate 150 points151 points ago

If you try to refill from the tap, you violate the EULA. Get a Water refill cartridge for just $35.

[–]Iainfixie 23 points24 points ago

To use water refill cartridge, just add tap water.

[–]MpegEVIL 4 points5 points ago

Funniest thing I've read today. Thank you.

[–]HuggableBear 18 points19 points ago

How much for the iCe cube tray?

[–]nickaggie 37 points38 points ago

Next they would sue Google for water patent infringement

[–]Socks1400 5 points6 points ago

Yes, but does it run flash?

[–]BioFinix 2 points3 points ago

And can i blend it?

[–]Fallout 45 points46 points ago

Of course this would result in Apple suing all other drinks manufacturers for having similar products.

[–]arksien 49 points50 points ago

This just in, Apple has filed a lawsuit against the ocean for copyright infringement.

[–]sagapo3851 6 points7 points ago

Apple has filed a lawsuit against Poseidon for contaminating its largest manufacturing plant, the Pacific Ocean, with live, unsupervised creatures and millions of years of their fecal matter. More tonight at 11.

[–]Fallout 0 points1 point ago

You do realise this would also be the end of apple juice. :P

[–]Kadmium 2 points3 points ago

Less than three months after release, every other drinks company's water offerings would look and function almost exactly like the Apple one.

[–]im0n2u 3 points4 points ago

Notifications. Right? Apple is amazing.

[–]kavorka2 20 points21 points ago

Reminds me of the incredibly funny NYU "takeover" video from a year or two ago where a bunch of moronic undergrads "took over" the dining hall to protest something like justice for Palestine. They were organized terribly and generally just whiny, lame morons. Anyway there was this hysterical bit where the dipshit kids were complaining about "corporate water" while showing off their ipods and macbooks.

[–]kavorka2 16 points17 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Q6KAg6qEGY

it's probably the funniest video in Youtube history

[–]SlickTricks 14 points15 points ago

AHHH the kid filming is such a twat, it hurts me.

"BRUTALITY! NO BRUTALITY! YOU'RE ON CAMERA! BRUTALITY!"

[–]RedPanther1 5 points6 points ago

The most ineffective and juvenile protest ever, and there's been a whole LOT of ineffective and juvenile protests lately.

[–]wittywittakers 11 points12 points ago

I have never wanted to see brutality occur more than now

Ever.

[–]NELCgeek 11 points12 points ago

Guys we have to come to a consensus on whether the people in this video are entitled delusional white people or not.

Now. Who wants to be facilitator?

[–]YouListening 7 points8 points ago

NYU Occupation Drinking Game:

  • Take a shot every time that annoying fucker says "Consensus".

  • Take two shots every time that annoying fucker says "force".

Guaranteed to be sufficiently hammered at the end of the 9 minute video.

[–]Ausgeflippt 8 points9 points ago

More like dead from alcohol poisoning.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

HOLY FUCKING BALLS BRUTALITY NEEDS TO BECOME LEGAL. I'M NOT A VIOLENT PERSON BUT THESE PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY NEED A SLAP OR TWO OR ELEVEN. I'VE SEEN A SMALLER VAGINA ON A 70 YEAR OLD HOOKER THAT'S COINCIDENTALLY THE ONLY HOOKER IN TOWN.

FUCK MAN.

[–]SnideJaden 2 points3 points ago

I am all for everyone being allowed one solid punch thrown at anyone per year w/o any legal recourse.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Can you stock up on punches? Because I'd be willing to prepare all my life for something like this.

[–]SnideJaden 1 point2 points ago

no, its your duty to do your part every year.

[–]happlepaff 2 points3 points ago

facedesk

[–]tRfalcore 2 points3 points ago

oh my god I've never seen this it's so awful to watch guhh make that dude shutupp

[–]fireball_73 2 points3 points ago

Some of the student activists at Glasgow University a few years ago wanted a complete boycott of Israel - ranging from Israeli bottled water (makes no sense when you live in Scotland but hey) - right through to not employing anyone who was Israeli..

That's not activism - that's just racism!

They were a bunch of morons.

[–]KofOaks 39 points40 points ago

As seen in 2007. No kidding. I remember laughing my ass off.

[–]VengefulQuaker 17 points18 points ago

I'm impressed that they took the time to incorporate the iPad into the repost

[–]IronPigeon 9 points10 points ago

I would like to buy some, then drink it at starbucks to show off.

[–]ITS_GON_RAIN 13 points14 points ago

Why is water in the iPhone section

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

should be under "Store"

[–]a_Leaf 2 points3 points ago

Fucking savages.

[–]SoyDueno 3 points4 points ago

remains upright with up to 4.6 pounds of lateral pressure

Bullshit! A pound is not a unit of pressure.

[–]abithozak 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, and you can't "Think Different" either, but that didn't stop them

[–]jimlandau 7 points8 points ago

And it would break all time water selling records

[–]Camaroman 7 points8 points ago

That's the sad part

[–]bjbyrne 1 point2 points ago

And raise the stock even higher

[–]nirvanianlaughs 10 points11 points ago

Ribbed for greater satisfaction

[–]snarkhunter 0 points1 point ago

heh heh

[–]p0kg41 5 points6 points ago

Lost it at "literally twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygen atoms."

[–]starphish 2 points3 points ago

Apple's Patented Quarter Twist Technology.

[–]Grrrr159 1 point2 points ago

You forgot to call it "Revolutionary"

[–]tswpoker1 7 points8 points ago

I'd be excited for the super water with retina display. It's clearer than the clearest water on the planet.

[–]singhzzz 2 points3 points ago

They already made that but decided to release it next year.

[–]BLATANTLY_UNFUNNY 1 point2 points ago

TAKE MY MONEY ALL OF IT!

[–]DSTFU 2 points3 points ago

$100.50 for 50 mL, $150.50 for 100 mL

[–]theTezuma 5 points6 points ago

Great for drinking while doing web design.

[–]Drunken_Economist 1 point2 points ago

It's magical

[–]GoWithItGirl 2 points3 points ago

Only you wouldn't be able to refill it.

[–]shrlock 3 points4 points ago

And putting flavouring in it or mixing it into anything would break the warranty.

[–]packerbacker1221 2 points3 points ago

What they don't tell you is that the water is made by harvesting water from the corpses of cancerous sweatshop workers.

[–]wakejedi 1 point2 points ago

Apple Juice anyone?

[–]Deframed 0 points1 point ago

Shut up and take my money!

[–]bennyguitar 0 points1 point ago

Can we get a Windows Water pic too? You know, one where you need a driver to untwist the cap. Then another to drink it.

[–]archfapper 6 points7 points ago

Cap_unscrew32.exe is a file downloaded from the internet and may be potentially harmful. RUN/CANCEL

Do you want the following program to make changes to your computer? NAME: Cap_unscrew32.exe PUBLISHER: Dasani

[–]Owl-Stretcher 0 points1 point ago

Or perhaps one where I can decide what type of cap I want on my bottle, the size of the bottle and even what it contains (to go with the windows / osx comparison).

[–]bagelboy5 1 point2 points ago

I really want one.

[–]eblk 1 point2 points ago

Google water please......

[–]Pocket_Ben 1 point2 points ago

With AdSense

[–]CptQuestionMark 0 points1 point ago

They'll make anything. In a few years tops I wouldn't be surprised if apple, Starbucks, twitter, Facebook, and native American spirit merged.

[–]theboneycrony 1 point2 points ago

TAKE ALL MY MONEY!

[–]3r3bus 1 point2 points ago

The bottle would have to be aluminum.

[–]happymensch 1 point2 points ago

Want

[–]KuchiKobe 1 point2 points ago

It will sync with cloud too!..forever

[–]withoutamartyr 0 points1 point ago

You know, all jokes aside, I'd really like someone to make a lid that doesn't require eighteen turns to take off. Cramps my wrist. FWP.

[–]Broder45 0 points1 point ago

This was posted up about 2 weeks ago..

[–]bjbyrne 0 points1 point ago

There will be Apple versions of Crystal Lite for the IWater App store.

[–]SweatpantsDV 1 point2 points ago

... and 50% of redditors would drink it religiously.

[–]millz1234 0 points1 point ago

Anyone notice it's underneath the Iphone category?

[–]piepsam 1 point2 points ago

Retail price: 1299.99$

[–]MpegEVIL 1 point2 points ago

The cup should be $299.99.

[–]ChickenWingsnBeer 1 point2 points ago

Quarter twist cap is actually awesome and innovative!

[–]Rohm 0 points1 point ago

Nailed the quotation marks around common words like "cup". It's hilarious when restaurants do this in order to seem hip.

[–]jgalena 0 points1 point ago

Not long be for it's jail broken.

[–]zelmerszoetrop 0 points1 point ago

Not long B4 it's jail broken.

[–]brightcityvice 1 point2 points ago

But how do we make this water incompatible with all previous drinking vessels? Then they'll be forced to buy more branded products

[–]Cluster_One 1 point2 points ago

Lost it at molecular perfection.

[–]Rushrofl 0 points1 point ago

Anyone else suddenly get thirsty after reading this?

[–]ConKowski 1 point2 points ago

But does it have bluetooth?

[–]Punkgoblin 0 points1 point ago

If only it had twice the oxygen atoms as regular water.

[–]amontes92 0 points1 point ago

"clean. simple. wet." the same slogan of my vagina.

[–]Demonweed 0 points1 point ago

Apple never got into the beverage market for a very simple reason. Steve Jobs could never figure out what the button should do.

[–]sharkterritory 1 point2 points ago

I bought 12 the first day.

[–]thekenturner 0 points1 point ago

POST YOUR OWN PICTURES!

[–]ceciliabee 0 points1 point ago

WOW!! did you make this infographic?? that shit is hilaaaaaaarious, i bet no one has even seen it before! dude, DirtyBucketz... way to go dude.. that is like the epitome of hilarious OC. you should take your spot on the throne of great contributions! /s

[–]Sjoerdos 0 points1 point ago

Water is only good if it came out of a brewery

[–]drunxor 0 points1 point ago

Price... $200

[–]mgill355 0 points1 point ago

god damnit not this image again. Cue Mac vs PC debate.

[–]ReyPerea 0 points1 point ago

Ya, but I won't be able to McGiver the shit out of it for cool projects.

[–]EointheGUY 0 points1 point ago

For only a small cost of: $599.99!

[–]silvablade 0 points1 point ago

Yea... but does it have the gee bees? or the wiffees? I only want it if it has more gee bees or wiffees.

[–]larcerkev 0 points1 point ago

The iPhone tab is selected, they must have plans to add Phone features to their new Water.

[–]V4refugee 0 points1 point ago

Finally, a water that lets me drink within seconds of opening it. Windows water gave me a virus after I let my other family members use it. Its okay because windows water makes more sense to infect because more people use it.

[–]ninja_plz -1 points0 points ago

Slogan sounds like it should be for a vibrator.

[–]Harodan 0 points1 point ago

Hmm...

As you can only replace minimal parts of Apple computers, I would assume that this waterbottle is non-refillable somehow.

[–]a_Leaf 0 points1 point ago

ribbed for greater satisfaction

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Grifachu 0 points1 point ago

Honestly I really just want my water bottle to say Water or H2O and nothing else. I don't care what filters you pretend to use. I just want water. There was an xkcd comic about minimalistic branding it really is true.

[–]CheShA 0 points1 point ago

ANCIENT

[–]MrBizK 0 points1 point ago

Lol next it will be apple girlfriend but with the same slogan. Clean. Simple. Wet. XD

[–]josiahlo 0 points1 point ago

True about the bottle itself. Just the word water and the logo. Amazes me how much crap they write on the bottles.

[–]mkoasis 0 points1 point ago

I will sell both my kidneys to get one!

[–]MONDARIZ 0 points1 point ago

They had me at 'easy to drink'.

[–]guitariato 0 points1 point ago

If apple reposted this repost again...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

It's still funny but next time remember to do a quick search to check it hasn't already been posted.

[–]webster21 0 points1 point ago

And it is all yours for $99.99 or for the 2 liter $199.99

[–]Ivef 0 points1 point ago

Starting at 49.99

[–]CosmicBard 0 points1 point ago

If Apple made bottled water... that should be the joke, no image required.

Bottled water is the biggest scam capitalism has ever hatched and I'm actually surprised Apple isn't into it yet.

Local tap water has to go through tons of constant quality testing and safety testing to ensure clean drinking water for everybody.

However, bottling companies, since they're producing a product that is so elementary, it requires absolutely zero health or safety regulations or any sort of requirement to divulge what is in the water.

The bottom line is tap water is tested and bottled water isn't. It could be anything from anywhere. It could have the bubonic plague in it and you'd have no legal recourse. Oh, and have fun paying $7.95 for one at Six Flags.

[–]Thnickaman 1 point2 points ago

Incredibly simple design, works as intended, easy-to-use-interface, and only slightly more money to avoid those annoying nipple-top Microsoft waters.

[–]atalkingcow 0 points1 point ago

All for the low low cost of 3x the price.

[–]V4refugee 0 points1 point ago

But at least it doesn't bring extra chemicals that just make it taste bad if you don't remove them to subsidize the price.

[–]OminousHippo -1 points0 points ago

If Microsoft made water, it may contract viruses during use. Not sure if that's better than over-priced water with a perfect ratio of hydrogen to oxygen atoms.

[–]A_Mouse_In_Da_House 2 points3 points ago

apple isn't virus free. They don't even claim to be anymore cause they realized "Oh shit, we got targetted".

[–]OminousHippo -1 points0 points ago

It's called a joke ಠ_ಠ

[–]SllikkillS 0 points1 point ago

wtf, there's an r/humor?

[–]Hyphyy -1 points0 points ago

Is there a jailbreak which allows you to refill for free?

[–]YellowPowerNinja9420 0 points1 point ago

Crap... when did this come out? Might as well wait for the IWater 2....

[–]truthpooper -1 points0 points ago

I'd buy it.

[–]lalondtm 0 points1 point ago

It would probably cost $9.99 a bottle

[–]desanex 0 points1 point ago

the bottle would be better designed

[–]aguirre1 0 points1 point ago

also, more generic: the iProduct

[–]BagelsFerDays -2 points-1 points ago

I would drink the fuck out of this water.

[–]AnAngryPirate 0 points1 point ago

It's a repost of a repost of a repost of a respost etc, etc.

[–]Bridgemaster11 -1 points0 points ago

To continue the metaphor, you wouldn't be able to flavor it with certain delicious syrups that some consumers prefer, but it would be free of e-coli for those who don't want to spend time and effort learning to clean and maintain it.

[–]drewcifer0 0 points1 point ago

Evaporation may occur.

[–]thewonderkind 0 points1 point ago

Hundreds of patents ensue.

[–]guchilist 0 points1 point ago

In all honesty, I'd buy one just because

[–]sazuki3000 0 points1 point ago

I am just going to wait until the iWater2 comes out.

[–]rmcc95 0 points1 point ago

"ribbed for satisfaction" LOL

[–]IAmA_Alien_AMA 0 points1 point ago

Also somehow make it impossible to put any water back into the bottle.

[–]probablytoohonest 0 points1 point ago

In a year, everyone else will be making better water for half the price and apple will be onto generation 4, now in white bottle or black. And it will still sell.

[–]part_of_me 0 points1 point ago

my soul hurts

[–]Flakbadger 0 points1 point ago

Costs 8 times as much. Not compatible with drinking.

[–]about20ninjas 0 points1 point ago

The bottle isn't simple enough. Too many ridges and ribs.

[–]scfd524 0 points1 point ago

Then they'd try to sue god for infringing on their patented water.

[–]Cenfre 0 points1 point ago

And we'll all buy it anyway....

[–]thattreesguy -2 points-1 points ago

you forgot to mention how innovative their bottle is

[–]bAssKicker -1 points0 points ago

Only 499.99!

[–]jspliff1 0 points1 point ago

this is really well made

[–]giandonko 0 points1 point ago

it's funny because people would actually start buying that instead of the normal bottled water used to buy.

[–]jenesuispasbavard 0 points1 point ago

ribbed for greater satisfaction

huehuehuehue

[–]madplayshd 0 points1 point ago

Actually, there wont be twice as much H atoms as O atoms, because the pH most likely wont be perfectly neutral.

[–]walkweezy -1 points0 points ago

The tip resistant bottom sounds pretty incredible

[–]JTIEMO 0 points1 point ago

Steve Job's favorite temperature is what got me. That was great.

[–]HeroDiesFirst 0 points1 point ago

I like how this is under the "Phone" section.

[–]ResidentWeeaboo 0 points1 point ago

There's also a unique feature where you don't have to send it back to apple for a refill. Simply fill it with water from your tap and your credit card will be charged automatically. No hassle!

[–]Sc2RuinedMyLife -2 points-1 points ago

douchebag water

[–]soulreaper55555 0 points1 point ago

It's under the iPhone tab. Does it have an app store?