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all 130 comments

[–]fepfive 216 points217 points ago

Don't taste me bro

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 54 points55 points ago

Don't toast me bro.

[–]drbojangles 40 points41 points ago

I swear I don't have any wheat.

[–]savage_beast -1 points0 points ago

I swear this sub is great

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]AnonymousHipopotamus 2 points3 points ago

You are trying too hard.

[–]ChemicalShenanigans 7 points8 points ago

I thought I left /r/4chan two subreddits ago...

[–]Karl_Marx_ 2 points3 points ago

I'm so outraged after reading this, I hate you.

[–]beeztrain 1 point2 points ago

that was simply awful. go away.

[–]fetusxfajita -1 points0 points ago

unlabeled edit

[–]Pugslys_in_tha_house 2 points3 points ago

I didn't know gluten was illegal man....

[–]Breathing_Balls 2 points3 points ago

Unless it's consensual, that is.

[–]zelazny 64 points65 points ago

$5 foot long? That's solicitation right there.

[–]Zerble 14 points15 points ago

Cheap, but solicitation still.

[–]loves_reposts 20 points21 points ago

at least he wasn't dressed up in a recycling bin costume in Russia

[–]Akromatique 4 points5 points ago

It's about 4000x more terrifying when they wear those hats.

[–]SupSatire 32 points33 points ago

I love the shit-eating grin as he leans in towards the cop.

[–]bunglejerry 44 points45 points ago

"Subman" sounds like the opposite of "Superman". i.e. 'subhuman'.

[–]CardboardHeatshield 18 points19 points ago

IS it a bird? Is it a Plane? No! It's Subman!

[–]sfriniks 2 points3 points ago

Damn that looks delicious.

[–]haiku_robot 23 points24 points ago

"Subman" sounds like the 
opposite of "Superman". 
i.e. 'subhuman'.  

[–]DontGoToReddit 2 points3 points ago

I have no clue why but I always feel an urge to count your syllables.

[–]beeztrain 3 points4 points ago

ha. nice

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 6 points7 points ago

Doesn't matter; still delicious.

[–]fanboat 1 point2 points ago

Slower than a speed-walking pedestrian! Less powerful than an HO scale locomotive! Unable to leap small curbs!

[–]alfihar 1 point2 points ago

UNTER-MENCH !

[–]anonymousrapeface 18 points19 points ago

Don't worry. Judge Fudge has his case so he should be fine.

[–]NowItsMyTurn 4 points5 points ago

Unlikely, the Judge is far too busy...being delicious.

[–]HandymanFerric 0 points1 point ago

Have not been on Reddit all day, click link, cannot wait to reply. [ctrl][f] "fudge"... dammit dammit dammit

[–]Brickfrigid -5 points-4 points ago

fucking shit asshole piss. You beat me to it

[–]B4low -2 points-1 points ago

Subman and Judge Fudge have certain things in common.

[–]DrewAllen42 32 points33 points ago

I'm sorry, I thought this was AMERICA!

[–]NosferatuHeftyDance 15 points16 points ago

Nice try, Subway representative (I mean OP, because obviously the guy wearing the Subway outfit works for Subway, I hope.)

[–]lth5015 10 points11 points ago

subliminal advertising

[–]socal82 7 points8 points ago

It's Subman (whatever that is), not Subway.

[–]Dipso_Maniacal 4 points5 points ago

Subman used to be the subway mascot before Jared.

[–]socal82 10 points11 points ago

Oh. My lack of Subway history knowledge has brought shame upon me.

Does Subman have Aides though?

[–]enjoyingtheride 0 points1 point ago

Veggie Tales

[–]OuchMyButthole 12 points13 points ago

He probably got in trouble for trying to give kids his footlong.

[–]enjoyingtheride 2 points3 points ago

Jerry SUBunsky

[–]captainpoopoo 2 points3 points ago

See, we like to have fun here on Reddit

[–]thealessandroshow 10 points11 points ago

[–]thatfookinschmuck 4 points5 points ago

after watching this gif for 10 minutes i still dont know what kind of event that is.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 9 points10 points ago

looks like an african adaptation of zoolander

[–]random123456789 2 points3 points ago

Looks to be a Halloween catwalk competition... If those are a real thing.

[–]CaitDoyleSucks 0 points1 point ago

he just challenged her to a Walk Off

[–]kevinbobevin 0 points1 point ago

I'm almost 100% sure this is a vogueing competition. Bitch is fierce.

[–]thatfookinschmuck 0 points1 point ago

that is the definition of fierce

[–]TheLonelyLemon 10 points11 points ago

I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.

[–]Ihavea17lbweiner 9 points10 points ago

Damn, I'd let that cop write me tickets all day.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

No costume... But... I have a cock to shove up your ass instead.

[–]Ihavea17lbweiner 0 points1 point ago

Ew, wtf.

[–]Mentosdivine 8 points9 points ago

Reminds me of Dave Chappelle and his stories about his white friend Chip :D oh, sorry officer, i didnt know i couldnt do that.

[–]DavesWhiteFriendChip 3 points4 points ago

The jokes on him, I DID know that I couldn't do that.

[–]Matsarj 0 points1 point ago

redditor for 38 minutes...

[–]DavesWhiteFriendChip -1 points0 points ago

Obligatory post.

[–]AllergicRacoon 2 points3 points ago

This was in my hometown (Austin, TX). Apparently the guy got yelled at and got flipped off by some redneck in a pickup truck, and the Subway promoter decided he did not like that. He then proceeded to pull the man out of his pickup and smash the living shit out of him. Before any real damage was done, he was jumped on by a crowd of people. The police arrived soon enough. Actually this may or may not be true.

[–]Nutella_the_Hun 2 points3 points ago

I wore this fucking thing a few years ago when I worked at Subway, and it was awesome. My boss brought it in as a joke, not expecting anyone to wear it. Everyone else dared me to do it -- fuck it, why not? Instead of having to work, I walked around downtown and handed out coupons for free cookies. I would dance around and pimp-walk through the square. People would either love it and get their picture taken with me, or cross the street to avoid me.

[–]listentobillyzane 14 points15 points ago

He's giving him a ticket!? That really grinders my gears

[–]Breathing_Balls 11 points12 points ago

Nope. Officer is writing down his own phone number to give to subby.

I mean, who can resist.

[–]kittenhoarder9 0 points1 point ago

I think you're right. That's not a ticket book in his hand

[–]cbdckr 11 points12 points ago

Subman probably got attacked or something by someone and officer is getting a report.

[–]dreazie_mobbins 1 point2 points ago

I would tend to agree with this... although one questions why, given the urgency of any situation involving police who are taking a report/writing a ticket, is the perpetrator/victim's face still covered? It's S.O.P. to verify someone's identity for these kinds of situations using ID cards and, well, their face

[–]star_quarterback 1 point2 points ago

that was terrrrrrible

[–]theredditor_319 1 point2 points ago

Hoagie sandwich joke Batman! I think i see a pun thread up ahead!

[–]Tummers09 -2 points-1 points ago

You're rye about that. Reuben asking for it all along?

[–]Eetabeetay 4 points5 points ago

Delicious my ass. Subway is hands down the worst sub shop ever. You can just taste how low quality all of their ingredients are, from the bread to the meat to the veggies. And this is coming from someone who likes taco bell.

[–]SpinkickFolly -1 points0 points ago

Taco bell? No, I consider subway fresh enough.

[–]KatyRPisHere 1 point2 points ago

My old roommate used to work at subway. So we were drunk and decided it would be a good idea to to steal the suit. We went sled riding on it, not sure why, but that's what happened.

[–]AmAzian 1 point2 points ago

Eat Fresh! holds out fist for bump

[–]Proper_Bert 1 point2 points ago

Anyone else reminded of the human incarnation of subway from Community?

[–]I_queefed_a_pickle 2 points3 points ago

I can't help but think that every actor in the subway five dollar foot long commercials is sizing up a dick every time they use their hands to roughly measure a foot.

[–]flounder19 2 points3 points ago

did anybody order a footlong with extra sausage?

bom-chika-wow-wow

[–]Human_Sack 1 point2 points ago

OH, I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA!

[–]amontes92 0 points1 point ago

a whole twelve inches to go around

[–]nalebunny 0 points1 point ago

"No one should be this... delicious!"

[–]roger_podakter 0 points1 point ago

how could you be smiling at a time like this?!

[–]FluffieWolf 0 points1 point ago

Read in the voice of TFS's Mr. Popo.

[–]Yldeems 0 points1 point ago

This reminds me of Judge Fudge...watch Drawn Together if you don't know who that is

[–]arche22 0 points1 point ago

I would love to attend court on or before the 15th of April, but I'm afraid I am far too busy.....

Being Delicious.

[–]KingSpanner 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone have the picture un-captioned? Seems everyone here really wants it to say "Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was America"

[–]Fox_Here 0 points1 point ago

Since when has subway had a mascot

[–]Tyrus84 0 points1 point ago

It is because they aren't that delicious at all.

[–]claudesoph 0 points1 point ago

Anyone know what's going on here?

[–]Psomatic 0 points1 point ago

How is the cop not laughing?!

[–]half_boiledW 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for not posting this to adviceanimals.

[–]arialth 0 points1 point ago

Repost. Couldn't even change the caption. Downvotes all around.

[–]Traner 0 points1 point ago

  • Subway
  • Delicious

Choose one.

[–]briantehpirate 0 points1 point ago

Imagine if he ran away? "Pursuit in progress. Suspect is a 6 foot tall anthropomorphic sub, possibly armed."

[–]pinchepanda 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry, Officer, but you can't give me a citation.

I'm far too busy..... Being delicious.

[–]lattelover2020 0 points1 point ago

Salem, OR?

[–]MzScarlet03 0 points1 point ago

Eat me.

[–]Regidor231 0 points1 point ago

If you look inside the hotdog's right eye you can faintly see the man inside flipping the cop off

[–]pablopaniagua 0 points1 point ago

These bastards strike again http://imgur.com/GPhI3

[–]WaitHoldOnASecond 0 points1 point ago

r/unfunny

[–]Threejaks 0 points1 point ago

did he give his real name? Subman?

[–]Mycooljam 0 points1 point ago

Judge fudge...

[–]si551e 0 points1 point ago

http://imgur.com/vAktN

The cop was going to arrest me for being too tasty, but I looked too badass next to the Lambo

[–]Wisdom_from_the_Ages 0 points1 point ago

Don't post viral ads, Subway.

[–]Deacon 0 points1 point ago

Subman is looking for a woman to dominate him.

[–]-TinMan- 0 points1 point ago

I had worked as a puppeteer, characters actor and mascot for years. Never once, did I, or will I ever perform as food.

[–]Slimeaux05 0 points1 point ago

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was AMERICA!

[–]PullOutBoy 0 points1 point ago

dat face

[–]angelchi 0 points1 point ago

that cop. is hot!

[–]whiteside1013 0 points1 point ago

Cool repost, bro.

[–]dr-mcninja -1 points0 points ago

Boy do I love a man in uniform.

I'll keep you guessing.

[–]catsfive 0 points1 point ago

I would SO have tried to "make a break" for it. #1, EVERY cop wants to tackle a life-sized guy in a sandwich costume. I mean, that's the ultimate takedown right there, right? #2, uh, I mean, it's worth the risk because no judge would not smile if you threw yourself on the mercy of the court and explained how you just HAD to do it. 100 hours community service, and you have a story you can re-tell and get laid from for the rest of your life.

[–]alfihar 0 points1 point ago

UNTER-MENCH !

[–]holladoub 0 points1 point ago

id eat that with cheese

[–]bfisher91 0 points1 point ago

huh? saw this picture like 3 years ago

[–]googlelover42 0 points1 point ago

Captain Planet's tastier brother

[–]drbojangles 0 points1 point ago

That guy who played Jerry Maguire.

[–]drbojangles 0 points1 point ago

That guy who played Steve Randle in The Outsiders.

[–]s3c10n8 -1 points0 points ago

I'm sorry! I thought this was America!

[–]depotman -1 points0 points ago

huh?! im sorry. i thought this was marinara!

[–]Jib96 -1 points0 points ago

REEEEEEEPOST!

[–]HapaxHog -1 points0 points ago

I got food poisoning from a Subway. Even though, I'm still contemplating if it was worth it...

[–]sacs1800 -3 points-2 points ago

This is the same unfunny shit with fastfood plug in those taco bell front page items. Is this how reddit makes its money?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]solsethop 7 points8 points ago

you must have done something against the law recently.