While I agree that unwanted oral sex qualified as rape, it is distinct from "forcible penetration," which is the specific thing I was discussing earlier.

Nah, check out the definition, page 17;

Among women, rape includes vaginal, oral, or anal penetration by a male using his penis. It also includes vaginal or anal penetration by a male or female using their fingers or an object.

I would suggest also that being "made to penetrate" may a lot of the time be closer to coercive sex rather than forcible rape

It says

Rape is defined as any completed or attempted unwanted vaginal (for women), oral, or anal penetration *through the use of physical force (such as being pinned or held down, or by the use of violence) or threats to physically harm and includes times when the victim was drunk, high, drugged, or passed out and unable to consent. *

Then

Being made to penetrate someone else includes times when the victim was made to, or there was an attempt to make them, sexually penetrate someone without the victim’s consent because the victim was physically forced (such as being pinned or held down, or by the use of violence) or threatened with physical harm, or when the victim was drunk, high, drugged, or passed out and unable to consent.

"Forced" includes coercion.

The victim struggling and being restrained isn't actually the norm, despite stereotypes of back-alley assault. I imagine you're saying that because men tend to be stronger than women, but there are factors we don't know that make guessing meaningless; it could be that strong bodybuilding-type women are predominantly the rapists, and they like to target shrimpy men.

Also, I would like to see a subdivision for statutory rape -- this might clarify some of the child vs. adult questions.

It has the age of first victimization on page 25 but it doesn't have data for "made to penetrate" and the data for penetration of boys is lacking too.