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1498
1499

My 9 year old brother asked me a question with this same face. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by joeman1023

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[–]crayola_ferrari 430 points431 points ago

Don't be silly, criminals don't commit crimes in the day, go read some comics if you want proof

[–]BCP27 234 points235 points ago

Where was Batman when Joker robbed that bank at the start of The Dark Knight?

Fucking sleeping. I think you are on to something.

[–]StockPhotosOfFruit 84 points85 points ago

He could have been eating fruit.

[–]JacobCurry 48 points49 points ago

Fruit-Batman.

[–]z999 35 points36 points ago

Just because he and Robin are living together doesn't mean you can call him that!

[–]Naggers123 7 points8 points ago

Bats do like fruit and justice.

[–]MsFrightlin 10 points11 points ago

Also known as "Mega Bats"

[–]kenba2099 7 points8 points ago

He was eating a tangerine... the size of a tangerine.

[–]6times9is42 2 points3 points ago

The Tangerine Knight.

[–]daxl70 20 points21 points ago

Im starting to hate your novelty account

[–]Atario 1 point2 points ago

First I've ever seen it. You sure you don't just spend way too much time here?

[–]StockPhotosOfFruit 5 points6 points ago

My apologies. Give me a request for almost any picture and I'll make it just for you, Daxi70. (Specifically ones with Gabe Newell in them!)

[–]daxl70 14 points15 points ago

K... Lets see Gabe Newell's cat eating a banana

[–]StockPhotosOfFruit 49 points50 points ago

As you wish, Master.

[–]daxl70 24 points25 points ago

redeemed

[–]iUsedtoHadHerpes 2 points3 points ago

I think you need a little more variety. That's probably one of the most overused fruit stock photos there is.

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]Datsupurkewlwhiteboy 2 points3 points ago

    I've seen you four times in the past 10 minutes, I need to go to bed now.

    [–]Iroquois-Pliskin 2 points3 points ago

    At first I downvoted you because I thought your comment was kinda cheesy along with the pic, then I saw your user name and realized the error in my judgment. I have since then undone the downvote and given you an upvote for your troubles. Sorry for the confusion.

    [–]austin1414 1 point2 points ago

    Cheesy?

    [–]secretaznjen 3 points4 points ago

    Seemed a bit fruity to me.

    [–]HitlerStoleMyCats 1 point2 points ago

    Alright, this fruit photo deserved an upvote... But just this once...

    load more comments (2 replies)

      [–]Deep_Fried_Twinkies 3 points4 points ago

      bats are nocturnal, after all.

      [–]jabberworx 3 points4 points ago

      Batman does not come out during the day time, at least not in the Nolan version, this is referred to directly at least twice in the movies.

      [–]this_sort_of_thing 1 point2 points ago

      Being Bruce Wayne during the daytime I guess

      load more comments (4 replies)

        [–]Spartapug 43 points44 points ago

        I went on a police ride-along when I was a kid and the officer told me that I should have signed up to go in the afternoon/evening because that's when most of the crimes occur. He said it was due to the fact that most criminals don't have jobs and don't even wake up until the mid to late afternoon.

        [–]IcyDefiance 28 points29 points ago

        As a guy with no job, I can confirm this to be true. I refuse to admit to any crimes, though. You can't prove anything! *evil laugh*

        [–]Changeitupnow 36 points37 points ago

        I bet you stole forty cakes. That's as many as four tens.

        And that's terrible.

        load more comments (3 replies)

          [–]Reservoiren 6 points7 points ago

          Good criminals would recognize Batman's patterns though, as this is shown in the movie where they are "forced" to meet in the daytime, since they know they will be safe from the Batman then. The people pulling the strings and more abstract crimes like fraud and money laundering have no reason to wait until nighttime to enact their schemes.

          But yeah as you said, that could be a good reason why. But if one's doing physical, possibly confrontational crime, it's best to do it when it's dark out.

          [–]kenba2099 3 points4 points ago

          people pulling the strings

          Like in Joker's coat

          load more comments (2 replies)

            [–]aequitas3 25 points26 points ago

            Which would make it the perfect time for the perfect heist! Nobody would expect it! OR the Spanish inquisition!

            [–]TheSpanshInquisition 32 points33 points ago

            You'd think people would eventually always expect us, but nope, it never changes.

            [–]lsvenning1 4 points5 points ago

            You're my hero.

            [–]reallyhellacool 6 points7 points ago

            He's the hero reddit deserves, but not the one we need at this particular moment.

            load more comments (1 reply)

              [–]hereforthekittehs 8 points9 points ago

              Kevin McCallister disproved that theory in the early '90s. Where have you been?

              [–]aequitas3 9 points10 points ago

              raking in the money. I AM Kevin McCallister. And you jerks believed me! Bahahahahahah!

              [–]fivepercentsure 3 points4 points ago

              Ever see Reservouir Dogs? Everything can go wrong durring a daytime heist.

              [–]fubbington 3 points4 points ago

              Most crimes do occur at night. Seriously.

              [–]Shippoyasha 2 points3 points ago

              Unless it's robbery/home invasions where the numbers seriously spike in the early mornings. I sadly say that not only from following criminology figures, but actual experience of those crimes.

              [–]comradesputnik 4 points5 points ago

              It's only the real criminally criminal types that don't even wake up until 2 am to start doing crimes.

              [–]Bit_Chewy 1 point2 points ago

              Mostly.

              [–]wolfgame 2 points3 points ago

              dey myostly cyam et naaait ... myostly

              [–]redd_itch 1 point2 points ago

              relevant

              [–]fafurffy 1 point2 points ago

              Batman works night shift...

              [–]shaqsbuddy 0 points1 point ago

              Yeah because at night, they're skin can blend in with the night

              [–]Vslacha 0 points1 point ago

              What if the Joker creates a weather control device?

              load more comments (2 replies)

                [–]lostinsurburbia 115 points116 points ago

                Batman doesn't work during the day. Bruce Wayne does.

                [–]lunarmodule 58 points59 points ago

                And everyone knows the best way to reach Bruce is email.

                [–]hereforthekittehs 35 points36 points ago

                Maybe Bruce has twitter and follows local news?

                [–]DCAnimatedUniverse 23 points24 points ago

                This thread may or may not know how Batman works.

                [–]gobongo 10 points11 points ago

                some1 is robbing the gotham city bank @batman #jokerisatitagain

                [–]Dhilligoss 13 points14 points ago

                Joker is a tit again? Quick someone stop him.

                [–]structurer 2 points3 points ago

                Wanna know how I got these nipple scars?

                [–]devilwarriors 1 point2 points ago

                Batman am getting rob Yo #indahood #fml #batman

                load more comments (2 replies)

                  [–]Tkpwns 91 points92 points ago

                  Your brother is a velociraptor?

                  [–]JacobCurry 9 points10 points ago

                  A very handsome one.

                  load more comments (4 replies)

                    [–]Batman_Reaction 137 points138 points ago

                    Hello?

                    [–]zombeymonkie 31 points32 points ago

                    You've been a redditor for a day and already called for your professional opinion.

                    [–]feureau 1 point2 points ago

                    Now that the calling is done and connection has been established, what are the professional opinion expressed?

                    [–]wolfgame 6 points7 points ago

                    Yes?

                    [–]BigBassBone 2 points3 points ago

                    THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

                    [–]jdk 3 points4 points ago

                    Yes.

                    [–]trollsconstantly 11 points12 points ago

                    WOAH! those are some of the tightest penis compressiness sperm killiness testical gripiness tights I have seen.

                    [–]Dos_Ex_Machina 70 points71 points ago

                    No such thing as daytime in Gotham.

                    [–]TaintedSquirrel 20 points21 points ago

                    Confirmed via DCUO.

                    [–]Lootbeg 5 points6 points ago

                    Legitimately.

                    [–]Jigsus 2 points3 points ago

                    Daytime Gotham is Metropolis

                    [–]casonthemason 21 points22 points ago

                    Bats are nocturnal

                    [–]BrandoGil 23 points24 points ago

                    There is no day in Gotham.

                    [–]PhilCollin5 6 points7 points ago

                    Thanks, Calvin's dad.

                    [–]daLeechLord 23 points24 points ago

                    Isn't there a garish red telephone?

                    [–]daskoon 6 points7 points ago

                    Finally found someone mention the batphone

                    [–]DragosteinLume 2 points3 points ago

                    THANK YOU.
                    I was about to have fits if I didn't find a single mention of the Batphone.

                    [–]cloudberries 3 points4 points ago

                    And surely a bat signal shone into the sky is the single worst thing you could use to signal Batman. I mean, it's handy if he's out of 3G range or whatever, but you're also alerting every single criminal to the fact that, y'know, Batman's being summoned for whatever.

                    [–]Matthias21 1 point2 points ago

                    In TDK they mention this, just seeing the signal makes people think twice. he cant fight every single criminal in the city at once, it acts as a deterrent.

                    [–]gerntoronto 1 point2 points ago

                    yup

                    [–]TristanTheViking 11 points12 points ago

                    Obviously they'll wait for the dark night.

                    [–]Downvoted into oblivion; better drink my own piss.PartyBusGaming 3 points4 points ago

                    http://i.imgur.com/ry7YB.gif

                    load more comments (4 replies)

                      [–]NathanielR 10 points11 points ago

                      They don't. Batman is strictly a badass creature of the night. His black suit would stand out like a sore thumb in the daytime.

                      [–]Cromiell 12 points13 points ago

                      So, what you're saying is that Batman needs a nice, bright yellow suit and he can go fight crime in the daytime?

                      [–]Kitomi 5 points6 points ago

                      The yellow suit is for fucking with green lantern.

                      load more comments (1 reply)

                        [–]Villainsoft 3 points4 points ago

                        apparently batman also spends his nights looking out a window at the night sky too...

                        [–]CannibalIowa 7 points8 points ago

                        "Are you ok sir-" "Shut the fuck up Alfred! Any minute now that fucking light will show up because shit always happens to go down in Gotham."

                        [–]Tenacious_Dim 3 points4 points ago

                        I know why you choose to have your little group therapy sessions here in broad daylight

                        [–]lesser_panjandrum 4 points5 points ago

                        Much like the world of Deus Ex, nothing interesting or important ever happens during the day in Gotham.

                        [–]Crossfox17 4 points5 points ago

                        Batman doesn't come out at daytime. He has to sleep some time, his costume isn't effective during the day, and statistically speaking (in Gotham at least) more crime happens during the day. Bruce Wayne has other disguises he uses during the day as well.

                        [–]NoctGent 3 points4 points ago

                        Batphone. DUUUh

                        [–]joeyjoejoejnr 2 points3 points ago

                        Harvey Dent works during the day? lol

                        [–]Lythysis 2 points3 points ago

                        "BAT" man. BAT...Man...

                        [–]Ross-the-employe3 2 points3 points ago

                        The bat-phone. Since the 70s Adam West/Burt Ward.

                        [–]onederful 4 points5 points ago

                        well...how many times is it sunny in gotham???

                        [–]deltorax 3 points4 points ago

                        It's always night in Gotham.

                        [–]dougr1000 6 points7 points ago

                        Oh my god. What other Karma whoring things has your brother said?

                        [–]feureau 2 points3 points ago

                        Buy cats, sell dogs.

                        [–]The_PowerCosmic 1 point2 points ago

                        Batman only work at night, fool.

                        [–]indecisiverobot 1 point2 points ago

                        Good luck, have Batman!

                        [–]ajaytech 1 point2 points ago

                        With the magic conch! OULOULOULOULOULOULOULOULOULOULOU

                        [–]psychroclasm 1 point2 points ago

                        They don't. He's not the hummingbirdman, or the bluejayman, or the finchman. He's not some pussy day creature.

                        He's the goddamn batman.

                        [–]DamnDuck 1 point2 points ago

                        So you mean to say that your brother's face evolved into that of philosoraptor when asking you this question...

                        [–]gorilla_head 1 point2 points ago

                        It's never daytime in Gotham. Fact.

                        [–]thomasjs 1 point2 points ago

                        Realistically the bat signal is a horrible idea that wouldn't even work most nights.

                        [–]tomsfoolery 1 point2 points ago

                        WB batman year one... bruce says to alfred...never in the daytime, so there you have it

                        [–]SeaBones 1 point2 points ago

                        Gotham is under constant semi-darkness because it's supposed to be always covered in storm clouds. Not so much in the Nolan movies, though.

                        [–]fubuvsfitch 1 point2 points ago

                        Stop meme abuse.

                        [–]Markymark36 1 point2 points ago

                        The red phone, idiot

                        [–]toymachinesh 1 point2 points ago

                        Commissioner Gordon has the red phone that goes directly to the Bat Cave

                        [–]leonsecure 1 point2 points ago

                        I thought everybody knew that. Here is some proof: http://www.nachi.org/images2012/bat-phone.jpg

                        [–]slipperyotter 1 point2 points ago

                        So.... how long has your brother had the face of a raptor?

                        [–]ooglemoogle 1 point2 points ago

                        Batman does not work in the day he keeps his cover up as Bruce Wayne and not to mention his suit and theatrics would not work that well

                        [–]4011isbananas 1 point2 points ago

                        They call superman

                        [–]lumberjared 0 points1 point ago

                        just putting this here...

                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FTLD6idBjA

                        [–]SYBRg_Ninja 0 points1 point ago

                        He's got a gobo installed on the sun.

                        [–]anarkhist 0 points1 point ago

                        Well, in the Chris Nolan series, I guess the signal is more of a call by Gordon to "talk" instead of an actual sign to alert Batman of crimes in the city. I may be wrong. Someone correct me if I am.

                        [–]87StickUpKid 0 points1 point ago

                        Crimes only happen at night.

                        [–]WhatDoesThatMeme 0 points1 point ago

                        They don't...?

                        [–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

                        With a fucking telephone.

                        How else?

                        [–]Lochen 0 points1 point ago

                        It's Always Stormy in Gotham

                        [–]5LbsOfBrisket 0 points1 point ago

                        Another reason why Superman > Batman! waits for off-topic nerd debate to ensue

                        [–]Satiracuz 0 points1 point ago

                        Gotham city is always cloudy.

                        [–]shaggietv4 0 points1 point ago

                        This is how they get a hold of batman in the day

                        [–]Bioshockedyourmother 0 points1 point ago

                        There is no daytime.. IN GOTHAM

                        [–]Howdy_McGee 0 points1 point ago

                        Blacklights

                        [–]downvotedtodeath 0 points1 point ago

                        I always assumed there was no day in Gotham.

                        [–]Fuh_Queue 0 points1 point ago

                        Like This

                        [–]dredian 0 points1 point ago

                        "...with this same face."

                        Oh man, you have a velociraptor as a little brother?

                        [–]kate500 0 points1 point ago

                        Bats are nocturnal.

                        [–]UnsightlyBastard 0 points1 point ago

                        Gorden just phones him...

                        [–]username-rage 0 points1 point ago

                        the batphone obviously.

                        [–]ShavedWookiee 1 point2 points ago

                        Exactly! duna nuna nuna BATMAN!

                        [–]username-rage 1 point2 points ago

                        Quickly Robin! To the Batmobile! We haven't a moment to lose!

                        P.S. Why the crap did these never get a dvd release other then the movie.

                        [–]BenjaminGeiger 0 points1 point ago

                        Nice try, Yahtzee.

                        [–]Thtb 0 points1 point ago

                        I feel old.

                        He has a special phone line to Gordon, also his non-super-hero-persona [no spoilers!] is always where the crime is, at all times.

                        [–]Two_Kebabs 0 points1 point ago

                        Am I the only one around here that remembers the Bat Phone from the 1960s? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_phone

                        [–]Cousin_Oliver 0 points1 point ago

                        They probably call him like NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE

                        [–]BathofFire[!] 0 points1 point ago

                        It's simple. We call The Batman.

                        [–]Bit_Chewy 0 points1 point ago

                        They call 1-800-BATMANB

                        The B is for bargain.

                        [–]brunaille 0 points1 point ago

                        The same way they signal him when there's no cloud cover to project on.

                        [–]jaysalts 0 points1 point ago

                        They don't. Bats are nocturnal.

                        [–]Hobodoctor 0 points1 point ago

                        Not only that, but it's also always overcast in Gotham. Maybe the reason there's so much evil and insanity in Gotham is because no one's seen the sun in a few decades.

                        [–]zeddieforpresident 0 points1 point ago

                        Please don't be late.

                        [–]andycaps 0 points1 point ago

                        i thought it was fact that batman only fought crime in the night, why is this front page

                        [–]KodyxDestroyer 0 points1 point ago

                        I believe this is more than just a coincidence that I saw this while I'm watching Batman Begins.

                        [–]airshipper 0 points1 point ago

                        Criminals only do bad stuff at night!

                        [–]hkckoo 0 points1 point ago

                        batman does not work that way

                        [–]therealhulkman 0 points1 point ago

                        bats are nocturnal....

                        [–]FourXeroTwo 0 points1 point ago

                        The same way as they do it during the night. They project it on a motherfucking cloud.

                        [–]googlehymen 0 points1 point ago

                        Bats are nocturnal ;)

                        [–]JonSnowsGhost 0 points1 point ago

                        Bats are nocturnal.
                        Also, smoke signals.

                        [–]Neuran 0 points1 point ago

                        ... does Gotham actually HAVE daytime?

                        [–]DRFTME 0 points1 point ago

                        They just call my mobile because I'm Batman

                        [–]RiXZ 0 points1 point ago

                        they don't.. lol

                        [–]MedSchoolHopeful 0 points1 point ago

                        On the batphone of course.

                        [–]Kamina21 0 points1 point ago

                        It poses a good question

                        [–]surrealhamper 0 points1 point ago

                        Even if it is night, how do they signal Batman if it's not cloudy?

                        [–]LiamNugent 0 points1 point ago

                        Of all the things the things your brother could get incorrect, he chose this? Batman works at night. End of story. No explanation. That boy needs help.

                        [–]Vexal 0 points1 point ago

                        I'm pretty sure it's illegal to commit crimes during the day.

                        [–]Nstaiger18 0 points1 point ago

                        They don't. Bats only come out at night. Some heroes get the best weaknesses.

                        [–]dbelle92 0 points1 point ago

                        bats are nocturnal.

                        [–]xiandrii 0 points1 point ago

                        They use the Bat Beeper

                        [–]goldandguns 0 points1 point ago

                        What a stupid fucking question. Batman only works at night. Kid sounds like a real genius

                        [–]r0x0x 0 points1 point ago

                        http://i.imgur.com/ddTsY.jpg

                        [–]asganon 0 points1 point ago

                        With a raptor face? how the hell did he do that?

                        [–]chinito900 0 points1 point ago

                        you know something, after all these years watching the BATMAN animated series, i just realized this..... WOW....

                        [–]Shnizz 0 points1 point ago

                        OP's brother is a raptor.

                        [–]manofscience42 0 points1 point ago

                        BAM! POW!

                        [–]Tails94 0 points1 point ago

                        Isnt Gotham always night time?

                        [–]TheHugeBastard 0 points1 point ago

                        Batman only fights crime at NIGHT.

                        [–]tommy-human 0 points1 point ago

                        batman works shorter hours in the summer

                        [–]rooty_pooh 0 points1 point ago

                        batphone

                        [–]Unglory 0 points1 point ago

                        If your brother has the same face as a Raptor you might want to take a closer look at the family tree, and then breed more.

                        [–]Justice502 0 points1 point ago

                        There are other heroes based in Gotham and the bat isn't required during the day.

                        [–]Melaronius 0 points1 point ago

                        Like this.

                        [–]Plyson 0 points1 point ago

                        I dont want to alarm you, but if your brother gave you that exact same face he might be a raptor

                        [–]def_not_a_reposter 0 points1 point ago

                        1800 batman

                        [–]MoarVespenegas 0 points1 point ago

                        Obviously light is both a literal and figurative foe of evil and therefore nothing bad happens during the day.

                        [–]Moikle 0 points1 point ago

                        he turned into a velociraptor?

                        [–]Alenonimo 0 points1 point ago

                        Cellphone?

                        [–]juliandrome 0 points1 point ago

                        There is no daytime in Gotham.

                        [–]RaizaMane 0 points1 point ago

                        Bat Eclipse.

                        [–]razmataz145 0 points1 point ago

                        I imagine they would use the bat-phone.

                        [–]manlord 0 points1 point ago

                        Bat-phone, duh.

                        [–]personwhousesreddit 0 points1 point ago

                        Because batman doesn't exist, faggot. Jesus how does a 9 year old still believe in batman. What a stunted pile of shit.

                        [–]TheDude66 0 points1 point ago

                        I feel like it's always dark in gotham city

                        [–]I_DRINK_GRAPE 0 points1 point ago

                        The batphone! Like the one in the old t.v. show with Adam West.

                        [–]brussels4breakfast 0 points1 point ago

                        Easy. Call him on his bat phone. Duh.

                        [–]thechapattack 0 points1 point ago

                        They text him or use the Batpager, or send him a message on his Facebook fanpage

                        [–]niamcat 0 points1 point ago

                        Your 9 year old brother has the face of a velociraptor? Thats terrifying!

                        [–]danielkuzmin 0 points1 point ago

                        Your brother has the face of a velociraptor?

                        [–]Ecoste 0 points1 point ago

                        It's always night in Gotham...

                        [–]Swampfunk 0 points1 point ago

                        Bat Phone.

                        [–]erock0546 0 points1 point ago

                        The sun never rises in the city of darkness.

                        [–]emxiaks 0 points1 point ago

                        It's been said a few times before, Batman is Gotham's night shift.

                        [–]grimamour 0 points1 point ago

                        No longer his jurisdiction Batman=night time Superman= daytime Cat women,wonder women= that one week of the month that lets batman and superman take there monthly vacation.

                        [–]zergbadger 0 points1 point ago

                        he has a point and can aquman go on lad?

                        [–]lkyz 0 points1 point ago

                        Best use I've seen of philosoraptor in a while!

                        [–]kingjehu 0 points1 point ago

                        Little-known fact: Gotham during the daytime = Metropolis. Superman handles the daytime stuff.

                        [–]joeyda3rd 0 points1 point ago

                        twitter...

                        [–]jedijock90 0 points1 point ago

                        Why did your brother have his big toe under his chin?

                        [–]cryptobomb 0 points1 point ago

                        There is no day time in the Batman universe.

                        [–]Baymond 0 points1 point ago

                        Smoke signals

                        [–]mechchic84 0 points1 point ago

                        Goku>superman>batman

                        load more comments (5 replies)

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