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No risks here! (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by macs4life8

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[–]mmcfayden 83 points84 points ago

well at least it wont breed afterwards

[–]Reddickk 24 points25 points ago

He's doing Darwin's work.

[–]HughSP 10 points11 points ago

Darwin Award.

[–]luke95836 0 points1 point ago

He might still have his ant eater wiener after.

[–]IISpadezII 73 points74 points ago

"Ladies and Gentlemen its time to play EVERYONE's favorite game!"
"IS. HE. TROLLING?!!!"

[–]Always_smooth 36 points37 points ago

"In tonight's episode we have got a doosey. That's right! You've guessed it! We're talking about echo/booming effect HOOOOMMMEEE CCIIIRRCCUUUUUMMMMCIIIICCCSSSIIIIOOOONNN!!!!!!!

[–]hakushonan 15 points16 points ago

I read that in oprah's voice.

[–]Taodyn 18 points19 points ago

You get a circumcision and you get a circumcision...

[–]StepOfDub 17 points18 points ago

EVERYBODY GETS A CIRCUMCISION!!

[–]Cartelman 6 points7 points ago

Damn your fake links

[–]bluexbirdiv 3 points4 points ago

Click. FUCK. It's just BLUE!

[–]fetusfromspace 3 points4 points ago

Have your trolls spayed and neutered!

[–]bobbarker030 3 points4 points ago

Hey! That's my line.

[–]austinap 1 point2 points ago

Having only a few shifts in our local ED, I've seen at least two patients come in after trying to circumcise themselves. Seems to be a surprisingly common thing.

[–]mypinkieinthedevil 39 points40 points ago

lets hope he slips and removes the threat from the gene pool

[–]Kinetik_Inferno 28 points29 points ago

1: Take superglue and apply it to the end of your foreskin while pinching it shut

2: Wait, drink lots of coffee.

This comment was brought to you by the WHO 2 Step Guide to Highly Explosive at-home Circumcisions - Who needs doctors when you have super glue?

[–]ColdHotCool 3 points4 points ago

At first I was like "Wait how does that work?"

Think it through and I went "Ahhh"

[–]drunxor 37 points38 points ago

So I googled home circumcision and found an account from one guy who attempted it. It includes this gem...

"Suddenly, strange thoughts entered my skull, and a raging mental battle between good and evil ensued.

EVIL: "Eat the foreskin."

GOOD: "Don't do it!! That's gross!!"

EVIL: "Eat the foreskin."

GOOD: "Stop thinking about it!!"

EVIL: "You know what you must do. Eat it. It is your destiny."

GOOD: "But that's cannibalism!"

EVIL: "So what?"

GOOD: "Cannibalism is shunned for a reason! It spreads diseases!"

EVIL: "Look dipshit. It's your own fucking flesh. Any diseases in there, you already got."

GOOD: "But it's SELF-cannibalism!"

EVIL: "So is chewing on the piece of skin you bit off your fingertip. BFD."

GOOD: "But this is weird, deranged and perverted!"

EVIL: "Exactly"

GOOD: (Hauls its sorry whupped ass away and shuts up) So, I ate it. Turns out it was very tough and chewy, kind of like biting a little piece of rubber. I chewed for about 5 minutes, but didn't make any progress on breaking it down, so I swallowed it. It had a little bit of blood flavor at first, but after that it had no flavor at all; rather disappointing in that respect. Maybe I should have cooked it." TL;DR Dude ate his own foreskin

[–]nukestudent 17 points18 points ago

WTF

[–]raVensc2 6 points7 points ago

...aaand that's it for me guys! I'll see y'as tomorrow when there's less disgusting posts.

Edit: Screw it, I can't stay off reddit for so long...

[–]Hovsky 1 point2 points ago

And tomorrow's posts will be just as disgusting anyway.

[–]Ifyouletmefinnish 5 points6 points ago

Well, at least he went through it logically and came up with a conclusion.... a sick, twisted conclusion.

[–]StepOfDub 12 points13 points ago

Umm...

[–]notagangsta 3 points4 points ago

I just...just...why????????

[–]LiveOnTheSun 6 points7 points ago

I did not need to read that...

[–]drum1286 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for that! Now I have something to do with the new scissors and cookware I bought today.

[–]NeverScoop 5 points6 points ago

I wonder why she isn't freaked out be the abnormal size of his testicles.

[–]indianaredditor 10 points11 points ago

shudders

[–]I_FISTED_MY_GRANDMA 6 points7 points ago

slit FUCK MAN, QUIT MOVING.

[–]Rasputin_PoleSmiter 16 points17 points ago

As a non-American, I'm curious; is it weird not to be circumcised in America? I thought it was just a Jewish thing. What's the attraction with mutilating children's junk?

[–]pootytangluver619 11 points12 points ago

I have no idea, I am circumcised and I didn't know about it until my 7th grade Healy class. I guess it might be pretty common.

[–]xmsxms 12 points13 points ago

I applaud your restraint from looking at your dick for 13 years or so.

[–]pootytangluver619 0 points1 point ago

Isn't that the time every boy starts to look at their penises?

[–]XypherFTW 0 points1 point ago

Same here. Circumcised, no idea why

[–]lolz4catz 9 points10 points ago

I used to think, like all male pornstars were Jewish.

[–]Nyrin 5 points6 points ago

In some regions and demographics in the US, it's still very common, though the incidence is slowly decreasing over time.

It is most prevalent in the midwest and least prevalent on the west coast (source here).

The procedure was popularized by anti-masturbation proponents such as John Harvey Kellogg, who believed that circumcision (also: applying acid to the clitoris) could help control the "unnatural and dangerous" practice of masturbation.

Once popularized, it carried on with cultural inertia.

[–]FreaXoMatic 10 points11 points ago

As a german circumsized guy - Duuuuuuuuuuuude John Harvey was so wrong with anti masturbation.

[–]Ragnalypse 6 points7 points ago

Actually, it's harder for you to masturbate, and you likely masturbate less than you would have if you were not circumcized.

I only recently found out the whole "lotion for masturbation" thing was because circumcized people can't stimulate the head of their penis without wearing down the flesh, while uncircumcized penises have masturbation armor.

[–]unicornon 5 points6 points ago

that is what I call my foreskin. masturbation armor.

[–]YawnSpawner -5 points-4 points ago

And you're also wrong! Can Reddit stop making assumptions that circumcised guys are at some disadvantage versus uncircumcised? Yes, it's stupid that circumcision so prevalent in the US, but we didn't get to choose and there's nothing wrong with our penises!

Source: Someone who is actually circumcised and doesn't use lube.

[–]josebolt 1 point2 points ago

Here is an upvote. There is nothing wrong with our dicks, but this is Reddit so you have to have one group enlightening another about how wrong they are. In this case its the fact that some of us as babies had our foreskins removed as if it was our choice. Then you have the European Redditor (at least thats what they claim to be) with the obligatory "I am unfamiliar with this. Silly Americans and their mutilated penises". Is circumcision unnecessary? Sure. Has having a circumcised penis ever stopped me from jerking off, enjoying it and having sex? Absolutely not. Anything to be better than the other guy I guess.

[–]YawnSpawner 1 point2 points ago

Thank you, I hate the fact that Reddit downvotes anyone tries to bring any shred of doubt to their crusade against circumcision. I'm not trying to argue for it, but trying to say we have mutilated penises that feel less or require lube is just plain wrong.

[–]SargoDarya -1 points0 points ago

Seconded. Wait... what if he knew this would happen and just wanted the whole world to masterbait?

[–]FreaXoMatic 0 points1 point ago

Some men just want to watch the world masturbate...

No but really the masturbations habbits don't change

[–]SargoDarya -1 points0 points ago

Maybe it's just because we're both german.

[–]Rasputin_PoleSmiter 3 points4 points ago

Thanks, that was highly informative; maybe a little too informative. "The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment" - seems like a pretty classy gentleman.

[–]Omnipnious 3 points4 points ago

He also made a camp for rich people that had daily enemas (by force if need by) for all campers.

I think of this great man every time I eat frosted flakes.

[–]Underdogg13 1 point2 points ago

It is very weird. Especially among white folk, you will be looked at as odd and out of the ordinary. Although people of South American and more recent European decent think nothing of it. It's honestly just stayed in the country due to tradition and at this point a circumcised penis is the image in everyone's head of a 'normal' penis, despite being mutilated. I've read in some places that the frequency of circumcisions is slowly decreasing, but I don't recall any details exactly.

Source: Uncircumcised and living in the U.S.

[–]eeldrop 2 points3 points ago

My wife's response: "That answer was written by a spiteful woman"

[–]ruining_ur_worldview 2 points3 points ago

If that isn't a troll, that's quite an incentive girlfriend. How would she feel if her boyfriend told her that her "meatcurtains were freaking him out". Doublestandards.

[–]Ifyouletmefinnish 2 points3 points ago

insensitive

FTFY, unless you meant the girlfriend was giving him quite a good reason for it.

[–]popchuckles 5 points6 points ago

Ironically that guy probably thinks "natural selection" is just a theory

[–]shaggietv4 3 points4 points ago

nip/tuck

[–]Ragnalypse 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me or did that show start getting boring?

[–]I_STAB_HIPSTER_FILTH 3 points4 points ago

I am thoroughly convinced that the entirity of Yahoo answers is just trolls trolling trolls.

Also, an ex left me for a guy with phimosis. That feeling when she complains of tasting smegma every blowjob...

[–]FreaXoMatic 5 points6 points ago

eeeew

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]D4t_thr0waway 3 points4 points ago

Guy with phimosis here, its actually not an issue. My doctor gave me cream to help it stretch and now the phimosis is almost gone.

[–]pentax 0 points1 point ago

Umm. Okay. Could you give me a quick non-descriptive summary then?

[–]I_STAB_HIPSTER_FILTH 0 points1 point ago

Me too, buddy. But it's such good Schadenfreüde in my case!

[–]claudesoph 1 point2 points ago

Obama should use this for his campaign.

[–]AFewSecondsAgoDouche 1 point2 points ago

The sheer thought of it made my balls head towards my stomach.

Wtf.

[–]MrGiggleParty 1 point2 points ago

Isn't this an episode of nip/tuck?

[–]SolKool 0 points1 point ago

My first thought exactly, althought he used a knife and not scissors.

[–]jennehjenneh 0 points1 point ago

that behaviour is called natural selection :P

[–]tracerghost00 0 points1 point ago

Looks legit....

[–]dumbkid 0 points1 point ago

The only good questions on yahoo answers are fake, who the fuck still even uses it in 2012. Every single answer I ever got was people telling me to find Jesus

[–]Dr_Insanity 0 points1 point ago

matrix

[–]PeacockDoom 0 points1 point ago

I won't lie, my penis cringed a little.

[–]bnfdsl 0 points1 point ago

does anyone ever get an honest answer on this site?

[–]LordOfGummies 0 points1 point ago

I cringed.

[–]MEiac 0 points1 point ago

I have just one word for anyone considering this:

Teraklamp

*No, this is not an endorsement, I am very much as my creator made me and would not consider cutting normal parts of my body off. Nor would I suggest that anyone else does, however, that choice is up to you.

[–]imhereforthetacos 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for "anteater weiner"

[–]RickenRocker4001 0 points1 point ago

I'm upvoting just for anteater wiener.

[–]OhyeahWaffles 0 points1 point ago

The thought of scissors going anywhere near my penis... might just be enough to make me where a cup for the rest of my life. (Except when having sex)

[–]bluequail 0 points1 point ago

Find a Mohel that is test driving a car!.

[–]kahluakoala 0 points1 point ago

Is each human male due one phallus of an anteater at birth?

Pity, I missed that birth right!

[–]QuadsNotBlades 0 points1 point ago

I really hope no idiot kid has ever really done this

[–]SQLDave 6 points7 points ago

Yeah! Everybody knows a Dremel is the correct tool for at-home circumcisions.

[–]Hellspark08 3 points4 points ago

You know those crazy crank operated contraptions that slice apples into spirals? So much easier.

[–]Scarmanz -1 points0 points ago

Yahoo answers with fuck you for life.

[–]rlyx6x -2 points-1 points ago

By school, he meant college or university... Right!?

[–]Trizoe -1 points0 points ago

I love this so much

[–]lukeoz -1 points0 points ago

Dude!

[–]polichinela -1 points0 points ago

He can always sell the foreskin to a cosmetics company.

And change his last name to Foreskinsky. Or Foreskinowitz.

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