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introvert

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A place for introverts to gather and chat. Or not. We can just be quiet and withdrawn if we want.


Ten Myths About Introverts, by Carl King


Am I an introvert, or just shy?

See what personality type fits you best.

A Jung personality test can help you if you're unsure.

The power of introverts - Susan Cain at TED.


Related Subreddits:

/r/needafriend

/r/MastermindBooks /r/nightowls

/r/MBTI

/r/INTP /r/INTJ

/r/INFP /r/INFJ

/r/ISTJ /r/ISTP

/r/ISFJ /r/ISFP

/r/socialanxiety /r/socialskills

/r/ENFP /r/ENTP

/r/ENTJ /r/ENFJ


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all 26 comments

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]calonord 9 points10 points ago

yea but the idea of having a good time while going out seems ridiculous

[–]TenerenceLove 0 points1 point ago

Why?

[–]calonord 0 points1 point ago

what's the good part?

[–]TenerenceLove 0 points1 point ago

Meeting new people, interacting with old friends in a fresh environment, trying interesting drinks, new food, dancing, seeing new places...

Calling the very idea of having fun when going out ridiculous is more than ridiculous itself. It's incredibly close-minded and stupid.

I am introverted. I like being alone - prefer it, even. That doesn't make me a social cripple who can't go out and have fun with his friends at a bar once in a while, and I know many others like myself.

[–]calonord 0 points1 point ago

its a different perspective, i am open minded but don't see and have not experienced fun doing this. I don't get where in this experience the enjoyment is supposed to come in

[–]TenerenceLove 0 points1 point ago

I have no problem with you not wanting to go out, but you really can't understand how someone else would enjoy dancing? Or meeting a new friend at a bar? I can't believe someone could be that obtuse.

[–]calonord -1 points0 points ago

its the same way a fish doesn't understand breathing air with the lungs, I just don't get it and am amazed when I hear people say they like it. My perspective may or may not be the minority one but how can someone like me go out to have fun

[–]TenerenceLove 0 points1 point ago

It is not the same. A fish is a fish, incapable of even understanding that it's a goddamn fish. Human beings are supposed to empathize with other human beings, to make some attempt to understand them.

I don't think doing cocaine sounds fun, but I can understand why someone a little more energetic would think it does. I hate Tyler Perry movies, but I can understand why someone else from a different background could enjoy them. I think Nascar is the most boring sport in the world, but I can see how someone would enjoy it after developing a better understanding of the sport.

I don't expect you to suddenly develop the ability to see things from someone else's perspective. I just think you should know it's lame that you can't (or won't).

[–]tototoz 1 point2 points ago

I understand you man, I dont like clubs and bars but i can see how my friends might. Don't know why this guy is being so... douchebagy about it

[–]calonord -2 points-1 points ago

well i can learn about or see or be told anything and then internalize that it occurs with information about why it occurs. I guess that is empathy? But if I have no frame of reference or relation to an occurrence can I really relate or empathize with it?

also can you answer my question :D

[–]barely_regalINTP 0 points1 point ago

But if I follow your advice, then it will prove that my goal is to get laid. Which will make me "have a bad time." But if I have a bad time, I'll want to try to have fun, which will make me more likely to...

Bulletproof.

[–]bradleyvlr 9 points10 points ago

I know I have yet to meet a girl at a bar, though it might just be that I don't go to very many bars. But I typically stick with coffee shops and bookstores.

[–]someones1 6 points7 points ago

I think it has a lot to do with the type of bar... mellow places where the music isn't super loud can actually work pretty well.

[–]ventian[S] 0 points1 point ago

You are exactly right. I typically have a better time at the library when I am deep in a book lol.

[–]Slantedinnuendo 1 point2 points ago

I regret so many things...

[–]jaurkINTP 0 points1 point ago

same :\ just got back from last night's party.

[–]sylvan 2 points3 points ago

A different suggestion: get out of the house, and do nerdy-ish things you like to do, that let you meet people. Take a cooking class, or join a running club, or volunteer with a charity.

[–]fightedINTJ (I've got all the answers, but I can't talk to you) 1 point2 points ago

yes, especially volunteer work! lot of quality people will be there, the same can't be said for the bar scene. even if you don't find a lady that suits your fancy, you'll probably find some one(s) you'll want to be friends with

[–]BlizzardandBlaze 1 point2 points ago

No, that's lack of confidence talking to you as a bachelor.

[–]ventian[S] 2 points3 points ago

I am confident in my ability to be very very shy. ;)

[–]TheGreatEnt 0 points1 point ago

Drink until you're extroverted. Been dating a girl 2 years because I drunk texted her, "I like you." You'd be surprised what a spark can do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Look beyond the usual venues people assume you should be at "socializing" at your age. What I can't stand about bars is how goddamned loud they are. I enjoy drinking, and I enjoy being with friends, but...sheesh. You find a good dive bar where people mumble at each other, that's a better scene, maybe.

When I was in college I joined a bunch of extracurricular activities. One of the best ways to meet someone is to find a social cause you're passionate about and join up with other people to make it happen. You will find the conversations tend to be more "on topic" and less superfluous, and therefore less exhausting. You can improve the world and socialize at the same time.