this post was submitted on
1,325 points (53% like it)
9,754 up votes 8,429 down votes

funny

subscribe2,467,137 readers

6,214 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 364

[–]lift_heavy_things 414 points415 points ago

Come on.

The argument against Superman is not that his powers aren't sweeter than Batman's. Obviously they are. He's fucking invincible. He can fly. He has retard strength. Etc. You can literally shoot the mother fucker in the eye and the bullet gets trashed. The only thing that kills him is some random fucking chemical that's not even from this planet, and guess what in some plot lines he even gets a special Kryptonite proof suit.

The argument against Superman is that his powers are lazy and uninspired. Superman's entire value is based around the juxtaposition of Clark Kent (ubernerd) and his complete inability to do anything remotely cool (ie: sleep with Lois Lane), with the heroic ideal of Superman and his ability to do...fucking everything.

But having Superman be a heroic ideal is boring. It's almost as if his heroic powers and weaknesses were tacked on as an after thought: "Just make him perfect...oh and we'll need ONE thing he's not invincible against, I guess."

Batman doesn't even have super powers, he's just a total fucking badass with some gadgets and a kickass plan. He has nuance. His character has real constraints, and real depth.

Even without being a super alien Batman manages to hold his city down. Superman cheats.

[–]Red_Woody 43 points44 points ago

I will now and forever answer the question "what super power would you like to have?" with retard strength.

[–]Thydamine 25 points26 points ago

So... the Hulk?

[–]CapnScumbone 11 points12 points ago

why not Juggernaut? Same strength...less tard.

[–]Misquote_The_Bible 19 points20 points ago

I've had this conversation before. My stance is that Hulk is smarter than Juggernaut because he's technically a nuclear physicist.
Also..... same strength? Come on.

[–]CapnScumbone 1 point2 points ago

Hulk starts at 70 tons. Juggernaut starts at 100+ tons. Hulk needs to really get going before he can match Juggernaut....and has never just simply overpowered him.

[–]Misquote_The_Bible 10 points11 points ago

Interesting.... but it still isn't accurate to say that Juggernaut and Hulk are on par with each other, since Hulk's strength is theoretically infinite.

[–]CapnScumbone 14 points15 points ago

and Juggernaut's is listed as "Well over class 100 with an undefined upper limit"...but yes...i'd agree that Hulk should be able to go higher if someone prodded him into new heights of rage...for example...someone shrunk Gilbert Gottfried and Kathy Griffin and stuck them in his ear canals, and has them read "50 shades of grey".

[–]7eagle14 2 points3 points ago

[–]CapnScumbone 1 point2 points ago

Good point- but he was enhanced by Apocalypse using Celestial arcane/tech. Celestials are EACH more powerful than Galactus...and remember that Apocalypse's ship was one of their greatest artifacts. Hulk here was enhanced beyond his power as either Maestro OR WW Hulk.

Apocalypse even SAYS that Juggernaut was a test of 'Celestial might' (which likely exceeds that of Cytorrak's Exemplar)...and not of Hulk's personal power.

[–]7eagle14 1 point2 points ago

On Celestials- Glactus is stronger than a celestial. It takes at at last 3 combining into a single being to combat Glactus. Fantastic Four #603 excerpts http://www.adventuresinpoortaste.com/2012/02/22/comix-weekly-2222012/

On "tech" - Yes, Apocalypse enhanced Hulk. But what do you think Cyttorak did for Juggernaut? It's totally fair to judge when one is enhanced while the other isn't?

Quick breakdown: EnhancedJuggy vs EnhancedHulk [as established] = Hulk wins. SansPowerupsJuggy vs SansPowerupsHulk [as in World War Hulk] = Hulk wins

Juggernaut used to be one of the most powerful characters in Marvel. He could go toe to toe with Hulk. Even the editors/writers were a little unclear (scroll down to letters http://hero-envy.blogspot.jp/2011/12/hulk-vs-juggernaut.html ) but we now have multiple instances of Hulk beating Juggernaut.

And here's John Romita Jr weighing in on the topic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGI1_rAoYPM

[–]CapnScumbone 1 point2 points ago

i'd say that an unenhanced Juggernaut is merely human. an unenhanced Hulk is still the fricking Hulk. great link though...still enjoying that. Any clash between the two...if well-written (poor and biased writing being the ultimate power of all as always)...would be worth watching.

[–]Thydamine 5 points6 points ago

"Puny tard..."

[–]TheBranleur 1 point2 points ago

Fun fact, many mentally challenged people are stronger and more resilient to pain than regular people.

[–]peachesgp 40 points41 points ago

Batman doesn't even have super powers, he's just a total fucking badass with some gadgets and a kickass plan. He has nuance. His character has real constraints, and real depth.

You forgot money... Batman has money. Money is Batman's power.

[–]Breathing_Balls 16 points17 points ago

[–]Yahnster 1 point2 points ago

Whats crazy about this picture is that he even put on eyeshadow to blend with the mask. It shows how much effort he put into his batman outfit and its not just some crazy guy exposing himself.

Well...it kinda is ....but you know....atleast there's attention to detail

[–]seniorelroboto 6 points7 points ago

Batmans superpower is his mind, money just helps him get shit done.

[–]JFMechdude 6 points7 points ago

Not all 1%ers are bad!

[–]Zackeriess 2 points3 points ago

He kicks ass and has money, but I think his "power" is altruism.

[–]peachesgp 1 point2 points ago

I dunno, I'm not entirely sure his motive is altruistic. Maybe a combination of a sense of duty and the fact that he held onto a sense of vengeance for years after his parents' murder.

[–]summiter 25 points26 points ago

He can still be killed by outmatched strength (ie. Hulk, Doomsday) or by red radiation (red sun). But yea, add-on weaknesses.

Edit: also by any form of magic. I'm not that big of a geek to know what universe each belongs in but: celestials, beyonder, one-above-all, time-transporting dude (forgot name), etc.

[–]whoami9 34 points35 points ago

You can't properly compare marvel and dc characters. The discussion will go the way of star trek vs star wars debates (ie, full retard).

[–]stevesonaplane 1 point2 points ago

To be fair, there were some cross overs. I still think Juggernaut is the strongest marvel character. Magic yo!

[–]whoami9 8 points9 points ago

Now that I think about it there was even a Justice Leave / Avengers cross over where Superman fought the final boss while wielding Captain America's shield.

[–]stevesonaplane 5 points6 points ago

That sounds awesome!

[–]whoami9 2 points3 points ago

I didn't actually read it but I heard about it. The problem with these things is that all everyone wants to know about is the relative power of the heros from different universes. I sounds awesome on paper but I don't think it panned out.

[–]granddino 2 points3 points ago

Did he have hulk's shorts?

[–]7eagle14 2 points3 points ago

He also had Thor's hammer.

[–]7eagle14 4 points5 points ago

Except that the Hulk is on record for having stopped the Juggernaut in full charge. Stopped him. Hulk is stronger.

Edit for source: http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/11/118368/2333154-the_thing_and_hulk_vs_collosuss_and_juggernaut_5863.jpg

[–]stevesonaplane 2 points3 points ago

Cite your source, good sir. Was the Juggernaut moving or was he just fighting the Hulk?

[–]lolwut19 2 points3 points ago

Whether or not Juggernaut was moving is pretty crucial.

[–]redditallreddy 1 point2 points ago

Hmmm... which Juggernaut? The magic crystal brother of Xavier is literally supposed to be unstoppable.

[–]7eagle14 1 point2 points ago

Not since he lost the Gem of Cyttorak.

[–]jadearc 1 point2 points ago

I guess if all the green lanterns go monkeyballs on him, he should be pretty dead...

[–]Basbhat 1 point2 points ago

The beyonder is a badass

But he's marvel not dc

[–]Iwasthewalrus 8 points9 points ago

Yeah, so is the Hulk.

[–]Piemonkey 4 points5 points ago

Same with Hulk.

[–]Basbhat 6 points7 points ago

Right.

I ignored the hulk because he's not stronger than superman. I believe in the marvel index he is show to be able to lift 100 tons. No small feat.

But superman can easily move more. As he's shifted a planets orbit before.

So the hulk is of no consequence to this discussion.

[–]imbrucy 14 points15 points ago

The Hulk has no limit to his strength. His physical prowess is directly related to how pissed off he is.

[–]Basbhat 0 points1 point ago

"Strength Level: The Hulk possesses superhuman strength of the Class 100 level, enabling him to lift (press) in excess of 100 tons. The Hulk only attains this strength level when he is enraged. In a totally, calm state his functional strength is significantly less, perhaps in the 70 ton range. In human form Bruce Banner possesses the normal human strength of a man of his age, height, and build who engages in no regular exercise."

I guess there's a limit to How pissed off you are.

[–]KingNick 1 point2 points ago

He bit off Silver Surfers head though.

[–]postalrat 6 points7 points ago

The Hulk can lift much more then 100 tons. His strength is limitless.

[–]toothblanket 1 point2 points ago

I recall Superman lifting 200 quintillion tons in an animation.

[–]cris178 2 points3 points ago

Hulk gets stronger the angrier he gets.

[–]ShadowDemonCoalition 3 points4 points ago

Well I'm not really into marvel or any comics really but I have read that Hulk strength is determined by his anger, the angrier he gets the stronger he gets.

[–]Basbhat 2 points3 points ago

Marvel still puts real values on his super strength.

They can't just arbitrarily say he can pick up with world.

[–]GothamsGhost 7 points8 points ago

Actually the hulk has been able to hold the plates of the earth in place to keep them from shifting, and has destroyed a meteor twice the size of the earth by punching it.

[–]Basbhat 1 point2 points ago

Well then I stand corrected.

However they still don't exist in the same universe (referencing the normal alien sometimes called superman)

[–]Sw1tch0 5 points6 points ago

Well they should've considered that when during Avengers he stopped a 5000 ton moving flying worm with one easy punch.

[–]Basbhat 3 points4 points ago

Yeah I'm sure that thing weighed 10 million pounds. And there is a difference between. "lifting" something.

And simply crushing it's face

[–]bunderton 149 points150 points ago

doesn't matter, still lol'd at the comic.

[–]whoami9 9 points10 points ago

The argument against Superman is that his powers are lazy and uninspired. Superman's entire value is based around the juxtaposition of Clark Kent (ubernerd) and his complete inability to do anything remotely cool (ie: sleep with Lois Lane), with the heroic ideal of Superman and his ability to do...fucking everything.

Which is why most animated depictions of him have to have him stand around like an idiot and take a beating for 20 mins so they have enough footage to make a show/movie.

Sure, Doomsday was as physically strong and resilient as him. HE CAN'T FUCKING FLY. He could have tossed him into orbit (or deep space for that matter) and then gone back to earth and figured out how to kill him while sitting in a comfy chair by a fireplace drinking single malt scotch and listening to jazz.

But no. Superman is so overpowered that they have to make him retarded to compensate for it.

[–]seniorelroboto 2 points3 points ago

This. Read a comic where batman got supermans powers. He was on his way to completely wiping out crime on earth when themagic.that cause.the.power swap started driving him insane.

[–]whoami9 2 points3 points ago

Honestly, I Doomsday was a missed opportunity. They should have made Doomsday twice as strong as Superman, to force Superman to learn something about tactics. Batman takes out villains much stronger than him all the time. I want a comic where he gets his ass beat, goes to Batman and says "how do you do it bro?" and then Batman is like "1) Stop being a fucktard. 2) Learn something about battle tactics". Then they can have a whole training montage. Batman uses the type of Kryptonite that takes away Superman's powers without hurting him to essentially make him human, then teaches him how to fight. Superman then has to use this knowledge to defeat the villain.

I would watch the shit out of that.

[–]Osmodius 14 points15 points ago

And yet Doomsday still beat him to death with his bare hands.

[–]palparepa 13 points14 points ago

[–]Osmodius 4 points5 points ago

Quite possibly the best thing I have ever watched.

[–]NiPlusUltra 10 points11 points ago

Nope, didn't actually kill him. DC made sure to completely ruin that.

[–]Osmodius 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, true enough. But he still managed to over come his strength. Counts for something.

[–]Full_Of_Win 13 points14 points ago

Did you guys forget that superman gave batman a ring that could kill him incase he ever went rogue? Superman trusts Batman with his life.

[–]Osmodius 13 points14 points ago

Batman has a contingency to take down any and all of the Justice League.

[–]futo1231 1 point2 points ago

Justice league doom. Watch it. Love it.

[–]itzloud 3 points4 points ago

*rogue

[–]Drewlicious 1 point2 points ago

Ladies pinch, whores use rouge.

[–]glaigas 1 point2 points ago

Superman goes mad and flys at batman at super sonic speed. In an attempt to stop him, batman raises his ring like he is trying to call captain planet. Superman does not just stop in place and die. Lets say it even makes superman pass out just by being next to it. Great. Now you have a 200 pound body flying at you at super sonic speeds. Superman may be knocked out, but batman's upper half just got taken off his body. Victor - Superman

[–]Grizdango 2 points3 points ago

If Superman went rogue I sincerely doubt Batman would be in the same hemisphere. He'd have a satellite that shoots red sun radiation down at supermans location or something. Or he's got a post-hypnotic triggerword that makes Superman go into a coma. Or he lures superman into a facility packed with kryptonite that's capable of being launched into space. Or all 3 (and 15 other backup plans that I can't conjure due to not being Batman).

Purely relying on a failsafe given to him by said person is not a Batman thing to do.

[–]Stylix 5 points6 points ago

You're creating a huge what if scenario. If you really got down to it and both characters had the opportunity to plan out a scenario, Batman wins hands down. In every scenario these two end up fighting Bat comes out on top. His ability to plan for every scenario gives him the upper hand.

But if superman just goes mad and flies at him sure, but why would he do that?

[–]glaigas 1 point2 points ago

I really don't think it's a fair comparison to be honest despite the fact they are in the same universe. It's like the superman vs goku debate. Both are characters designed to achieve perfection in their own universes. Like you said it is a "what if", "what if", "what if"... I think in the end people will choose a victor and mold the "what if"s to fit their favored hero. It comes down to who do you want to win and what scenario are you going to create that will rationalize your heroes victory.

[–]jlettuce07 1 point2 points ago

Goku would totally win, btw.

[–]borderline_crazy 0 points1 point ago

And he came back with a mullet. Insult to injury.

[–]whoami9 1 point2 points ago

Only because they have to make superman retarded. If he could pick him up and slam him into the earth from high orbit, then he could also have LET HIM GO IN SPACE. THE FUCKER CAN'T FLY. FFS.

[–]CannibalIowa 50 points51 points ago

I've always hated superman for this "Mary sue" principle. Every character should have major flaws, or else they aren't relatable.

EDIT: Spelling

[–]magictoenail 9 points10 points ago

He was the first superhero. Jerry Siegel didn't sit down with pen and paper in 1938 and think "What should I write about? I know! A guy with super powers! He'll be called a 'superhero'. Oh, and I'll give him a bunch of flaws!"

He, and everyone else, later realized that a superhero with no flaws is boring and impossible to relate to, and so his superpowers were actually toned down.

EDIT: This is straight from of Wikipedia:

In early 1939, the success of Superman in Action Comics prompted editors at the comic book division of National Publications (the future DC Comics) to request more superheroes for its titles. In response, Bob Kane created "the Bat-Man."

Batman is literally a retrospective recreation of Superman.

[–]GarththeGarth 2 points3 points ago

You should read the graphic novel All Star Superman, it really humanizes him.

[–]Phil_Bond 11 points12 points ago

Princeable? Really?

[–]Dustin- 32 points33 points ago

[–]ohnoiamaseed 12 points13 points ago

That is indeed one fresh man.

[–]Ghstfce 4 points5 points ago

Princey-pull.

[–]CannibalIowa 15 points16 points ago

Oh god, what have I done. I am sorry Reddit, I will accept the sea of down votes I so rightly deserve.

[–]Lampmonster1 3 points4 points ago

Superman can't be corrupt though. With his power any flaw makes him a villain.

[–]CannibalIowa 7 points8 points ago

I prefer the term anti-hero, a villain implies he is evil. If he used his powers to benefit him self but not harm others he is neither hero nor villain. He doesn't have to be a villain, but I'd prefer it instead of this almost perfect image.

[–]Lampmonster1 4 points5 points ago

But I didn't mean anti-hero. I meant villain.

[–]CannibalIowa 2 points3 points ago

Then you really are saying that any flaw+ power= evil?

[–]tychobrahesmoose 8 points9 points ago

Technically I think he has "super" strength. Retard strength is something entirely different.

[–]black27696 23 points24 points ago

Yeah retard strength is WAY stronger

[–]StockPhotosOfFruit 7 points8 points ago

[–]Harry_Hardlong 3 points4 points ago

Wow. Reading your username really explained a lot.

[–]Zephyr104 1 point2 points ago

That one mistake he made there made me laugh the hardest this entire day

[–]CapnScumbone 1 point2 points ago

Retard Strength is ALWAYS accompanied by Awkward Boner Hugs.

[–]tychobrahesmoose 1 point2 points ago

Awkward Boner Hugs

Something that was conspicuously missing from the Superman comics.

[–]CapnScumbone 1 point2 points ago

You should read more Bizarro comics.

[–]toothblanket 1 point2 points ago

To be fair, Superman has used his powers in cool, creative ways. Hes shown mastery over his vocal chords to alter his voice to impersonate Batman when he had to fill in for him once. Also, hes used his heat vision as a scalpel from time to time.

[–]Todomanna 11 points12 points ago

He's also hurt by magic. Also, I believe Superman's powers were originally pretty bland, but they kept tacking on new stuff until he could move planets by blowing on them softly. I think that's one of the main reasons they keep having reboots every other decade or so.

As far as Batman... he's also a rich motherfucker who basically throws money at a problem to make it go away. Indirectly, of course.

[–]nonsensepoem 7 points8 points ago

He's also hurt by magic. Also, I believe Superman's powers were originally pretty bland, but they kept tacking on new stuff until he could move planets by blowing on them softly.

Originally Superman couldn't fly-- which is why he's said to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

[–]arrjayjee 1 point2 points ago

I prefer that version of Superman. He was strong because his home planet had massive gravity, which on Earth with weaker gravity he could treat it like a bouncy castle. Giving him laser eyes and minty fresh breath is just Mary Sue-ing the guy, and that's boring.

Then again, Batman's super-power is that he was born rich, so there's that. You could argue he's incredibly disciplined and shows signs of severe mental illness, but if he wasn't born in to the 1% of the 1%, he would not have all the cool toys that allow him to do the shit he does.

[–]GregLoire 1 point2 points ago

Then again, Batman's super-power is that he was born rich, so there's that.

Yeah, but at least rich people actually exist.

[–]palparepa 9 points10 points ago

they kept tacking on new stuff

So true.

[–]cris178 2 points3 points ago

Reason why Batman will always be more badass than Superman and probably defeat him as well http://youtu.be/CBS_G6FN-_I

[–]masturbateToSleep 2 points3 points ago

Also, compare the games:

superman (apparently he can run through walls)

and

Batman (pure bad ass)

[–]TylerKeys 2 points3 points ago

There's no real point to arguing who would win in a fight between Batman or Superman, or which one of them is cooler, or stronger, or more badass. They're both extremely similar characters, just on different scales, and their stories are both remarkably similar as well. I'm not going to sit here and list everything they have in common with each other, but take a moment to think about it. The only real difference between them is what physically makes them superheroes - superhuman physical powers in Superman's case, and superhuman intelligence and limitless resources in Batman's case.

The point is, everyone is going to have a personal preference when it comes to their favorite hero, but when you get right down to it, it doesn't matter what superpower or gadget is used to save the day. What matters is the story. Despite their superhuman qualities, they both have human hearts, and that's where the story always lies. They both have to make sacrifices, they both face challenges, adversity, regret, redemption, triumph, and all those things that make an audience interested. As long as the story is well-written, it doesn't matter if the hero uses superpowers, a robot suit, magic, or a whip.

[–]basec0m 12 points13 points ago

Superman is boring...

[–]Basbhat 1 point2 points ago

Normal alien

[–]post_post_modernism 1 point2 points ago

calm down, sport

[–]Seamorepenis 1 point2 points ago

Batman isn't a superhero, he is the world's greatest vigilantly.

[–]thommyhobbes 1 point2 points ago

Batman is interesting because he could potentially lose to anyone.

[–]postalrat 1 point2 points ago

Batman wins here too!

The man ALWAYS WINS!

[–]dataMinery 1 point2 points ago

[–]CaspianX2 1 point2 points ago

I think that people see Superman's invulnerability and "... and the kitchen sink" list of superpowers as proof positive that Superman is inherently a weaker and less interesting character than Batman, and while I do tend to think that Batman is probably my favorite comic character and franchise, I also think that this dismissal of Superman is selling Superman short.

The issue, I think, is that people are only looking at surface-level conflicts, and when you are only looking at the surface-level, Superman seems far more shallow and less nuanced. If you boil comics down to "Guy A fights guy B", Superman's powers make him inherently over-matched against any opponent people can identify with. However, it is when these comics explore deeper issues that they shine, and both Batman and Superman have them to explore.

For Superman's, they come both from external and internal conflicts. Internally, there is the question of whether it is right for Superman to interfere with humanity. This was actually addressed, albeit absurdly ham-handedly, in Superman IV - People have nuclear weapons, which threaten all life on Earth... is it right for Superman to tell people they're not allowed to have nuclear weapons in order to protect them? At what point does he cease to be a protector and Samaritan, and start becoming a well-meaning dictator?

What's more, another internal conflict is that, as powerful as Superman is, he still has his limits. He is, after all, just one man, even if he's a man of extraordinary power. And as a man, he can only do so much. How is he to put that power to use? When he so clearly values life, how must it tear at him when he fails to save someone?

Externally, much of what makes Superman a potentially powerful story is his strength as a symbol. All that "truth, justice and the American way" stuff. Some of the more interesting Superman stories aren't even about him, they're about the way he affects the world around him, both for good and bad. To some he's an inspiration of hope and something to aspire to. To others (most notably Lex Luthor), his mere existence is a mockery to the strength, ingenuity, independence, and ambition of humanity. What does the world look like when people see a force of pure good, the epitome of what humankind aspires to be?

It may be hard to see these sorts of conflicts when you're looking at Superman fighting some alien or robot or standing all smug as a bank-robber stupidly tries to shoot him. Often this is the fault of those who write his stories - they see his fantastical elements as his main draw and highlight those, and ignore his humanity. So you get dumb strongman fistfights. But it's that same sort of thinking that brought us the Adam West and Joel Schumaker Batmans, which tried to focus on the fantastical rather than the humanity, and suffered for it.

Superman can be an incredible figure to place at the center of a story, so long as the storyteller remembers that the interesting part isn't what he can do, but what that means for who he is and the world around him.

[–]ACamelsDragon 3 points4 points ago

And don't forget that in a couple storylines, Hush and The Dark Knight Returns spoilers Batman straight out defeats Superman. In his 50s, in one case.

[–]Dhund 1 point2 points ago

Hush had Batman about to be crushed by a car when Superman stopped. Thats not a good strategy to win.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

The awesome superheroes are the ones that don't actually have superpowers. Agreed. Though Superheros like superman are still pretty amusing to watch.

[–]IonBeam2 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of this argument: Superman isn't really a hero at all.

http://lesswrong.com/lw/lk/superhero_bias/

[–]TarlofKoroba 0 points1 point ago

I give you lazy and uninspired, but to me just about every Comic book hero gets some ridiculous new ability to overcome a situation, Superman's just happens to be a completely new power. Things like the Flash having a cosmic treadmill to go back in time or him being able to run so fast magic doesn't affect him because the universe is collapsing and then reappearing behind him. For Batman it's always a new gadget, stuck in mutant spider's giant web? "Don't worry Robin I brought the anti-web spray to release us and then we'll go back to my place and I'll make some boots that allow me to walk on the web without getting stuck." What has Batman not pulled out of the utility belt?

For the record I like New-age Batman more, but as far as old stuff like the Golden Age and all that meh.

[–]Superiornuthook 0 points1 point ago

Batman does have a superpower, it's called money

[–]MrConfucius 0 points1 point ago

That's the same reason I like Spiderman so much. He has such strong emotional discouragement of maintaining his superhero status; he has a normal life. And feelings. And hesitance. And makes mistakes. And tries to learn from them. He even quits for a little.

He was such a human like superhero.

[–]livelarge3 0 points1 point ago

You're answering the wrong question. You answered "which character is more developed, thought-through, and has more substance: superman or batman?" not the original question, "who would win in a fight?"

[–]RevGumby 0 points1 point ago

Excuse me while I reverse time -Kal

[–]Bloodfeastisleman 0 points1 point ago

To be fair, Batman fights crazy guys with skin conditions and Superman fights the strongest creatures in the universe. His powers are necessary.

Edit: Also, Superman has issues. He deals with his identity, the death of all of his kin, the safety of the universe, rivalries, love, how he should use his powers, for whom should he used his powers, if he should kill or not, etc... He doesn't have to be gritty to be a good character.

[–]belflandluvr 0 points1 point ago

How can his powers be considered uninspired if he's the first superhero?

[–]Fuqwon 0 points1 point ago

Superman might be all powerful, but Batman is essentially omniscient.

[–]soggydoughnut 0 points1 point ago

Just as unbelievable as Superman ever actually facing an opponent worth him is the thought that someone wouldn't just have shot Batman with a .50 BMG round killing him instantly. Quit pretending like Superman is a dumb character when Batman is equally dumb.

[–]PotatoPotahto 12 points13 points ago

[–]gray-Inquisitor 9 points10 points ago

Please credit the original artist of the strip. http://guyster.deviantart.com/

and the comic here http://guyster.deviantart.com/#/d1jfrt6

[–]K1LL3RM0NG0 26 points27 points ago

to go along with everyone here, i seem to remember something about Batman always carries around a tiny piece of Kryptonite in his utility belt for a specific situation. i.e. Superman going rogue and killing a shitton of innocents

[–]Basbhat 10 points11 points ago

Theres also some stored in the justice league space station

[–]Not_a_lobster 24 points25 points ago

Not only Superman, but I think it is also mentioned Batman has planned out how to take down every superhero if the situation arises.

[–]Piemonkey 7 points8 points ago

Not only mentioned, there was a whole rift in the DCU when some villain got ahold of those plans.

That said, those plans were only made after the Justice League wiped out Batman's memory and he found out about it later in what is the single worst comic book story ever written, Identity Crisis.

[–]omgitschris 3 points4 points ago

I didn't know they wiped his memory. I love batman, I also wouldn't have trusted he league if they go so far as to wipe My memory. No wonder he has plans to take them all out.

[–]K1LL3RM0NG0 1 point2 points ago

oh yeah i remember that. he's got a plan to completely annihilate every single member of the justice league minus himself should he have to. just proving how much of a badass Batman is

[–]I_MAKE_USERNAMES 5 points6 points ago

A Kyrptonite ring. He uses it in the awesome Hush story-line when Superman gets seduced by Poison Ivy, and kicks his ass.

[–]TooMuchTony 5 points6 points ago

A Kyrptonite ring that Superman GAVE to Batman just in case Superman ever needed to be taken down. This is a detail many people forget. Superman trusts Batman with his life and gave him the power to stop him.

[–]I_MAKE_USERNAMES 7 points8 points ago

I didn't forget that! But it still is not easy to take out Superman, even with a kryptonite ring.

[–]Sladeownsyou 8 points9 points ago

[–]Defender 36 points37 points ago

Wouldn't he grapple-hook away rather than frolic like a retard?

[–]Vanetia 59 points60 points ago

Yes but then the comic wouldn't be funny.

[–]justonecomment 6 points7 points ago

Should have used the Adam West batman/costume would have been funnier, the dark suited batman would have grapple hooked away like a bad ass.

[–]ginja_ninja 9 points10 points ago

No, he would press a button on his belt and 5 seconds later an auto-piloted bat plane would swoop out of the sky, he'd jump in, and flip Superman the bird as he flew past him.

[–]PositivelyShocking 6 points7 points ago

Another thing people are forgetting to mention is the incredible discipline of Superman. For someone to be raised by humans and surrounded by a society that praises the strong over week, having those powers and not abusing them takes a lot of effort. He can't even afford to lose his temper. Could you imagine having his powers in high school and not getting into scraps, or stealing something that we really wanted because we could. None of us could resist the temptation. His discipline is his greatest virtue

[–]someguy73 17 points18 points ago

At least Batman lost his virginity before age 30.

[–]TieofDoom 1 point2 points ago

Pretty sure Supes been banging Lana Lang since his teens!

[–]NakedTonyDanza 1 point2 points ago

Superman lost his virginity?

[–]isbjornen 17 points18 points ago

[–]iceman21 6 points7 points ago

Spoilers:

Batman didn't beat superman, just punched him a few times and faked his death.

[–]I_MAKE_USERNAMES 8 points9 points ago

Yeah, but he did win that fight. It went exactly how he wanted it to go, and it did not go how Superman wanted it to go.

[–]rrearleii 4 points5 points ago

One is just really rich and white, and the other is allergic to rocks.

[–]DellTheEngie 5 points6 points ago

"I wish I had some fucking superpowers.."

[–]HahaYouSaidFucking 2 points3 points ago

wait, what kind of superpowers do you wish you had?

[–]I_MAKE_USERNAMES 8 points9 points ago

Fucking superpowers, obviously.

[–]whereIsMyPizza 5 points6 points ago

DAE think that it looks similar to drawings in the where's wally (waldo) books by Martin Handford? http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Handford#section_2

[–]Crossfox17 4 points5 points ago

Grappling hook.

[–]iceman21 1 point2 points ago

Beyondhollywood one is a 403 for me.

[–]laddergoat89 2 points3 points ago

I wish in TDKR Bruce was wearing his classic Batman getup.

[–]Lespaul42 2 points3 points ago

It bugs me it isn't "na na na na na na na na Batman!"

[–]YottaDren 1 point2 points ago

[–]beluga_whales 1 point2 points ago

Lmfao

[–]ToLazytotry 1 point2 points ago

Alright here's the down-low on Superman, he's powers are grounded on Scifi, as batman is based on Crime/Noir and Wonder woman is fantasy. His flight is actually a latent Telekinetic power, something that is more pronounced in Superboy. His strength is already stronger than normal humans do to coming from a High gravity world, but also augmented by his telekinesis.

Which is why his strength is variable, he gets stronger depending on his will and anger. The yellow sun is what allows him to gain these ability's due to .....actually I'm to bored to finish this. SUPERMAN RULES BIATCHES

[–]krispinwah 1 point2 points ago

I'm not the biggest Superman fan on Earth, but I do like him. Not so much for his limitless powers and perfection, but because today, he represents the peak of compassion and understanding that the human race could demonstrate towards one another if we tried. How despite all the cataclysmic events he deals with on a regular basis, he still has time to find a lost puppy or console a suicidal teenager. No matter what else is going on, he will make time to help someone, no matter what.

http://i.imgur.com/ytNxw.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/1Hqqr.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/zSrjL.jpg

*edit for formatting.

[–]jdst1621 1 point2 points ago

Captain Planet would beat the crap out of both of them.

[–]Thizzlebot 1 point2 points ago

I was watching the old Superman movie today on tv and I noticed something about Superman. He always says bye to every person he helps , and although it is a small thing I think it says a lot about the character.

[–]Gustomucho 3 points4 points ago

Thing I learned from watching Batman in the 80s was that he always bring the right thing at the right time. He would just create a kryptonite cell.

[–]Vanetia 1 point2 points ago

"Good thing I happen to be wearing my Kryptonite ring today!"

[–]killattention 2 points3 points ago

[–]spackysteve 5 points6 points ago

[–]jscoppe 0 points1 point ago

Could just as easily have been Batman standing over Superman with a kryptonite ring, and then injecting a kryponite solution into his blood-stream, giving him a heart attack.

[–]tekiran 7 points8 points ago

For your amusement:

Comic 1

Comic 2

Comic 3

Comic 4

Comic 5

etc.

[–]jscoppe 2 points3 points ago

I was amused, indeed.

[–]Darth_Hobbes 1 point2 points ago

Funny how it never turns out that way in the actual comics.

[–]Melkor_Morgoth 1 point2 points ago

From Wikipedia: "...in the original Kingdom Come mini-series, Lex Luthor explains that Superman has absorbed several more years' worth of solar energy, effectively erasing his Kryptonite vulnerability."

Just a bit of trivia. I have no desire to argue about "invincible man vs. the man who plans for every eventuality."

[–]Mental_octo 4 points5 points ago

Really? Come on, if it wasnt batman, supes have no friend. The bat is his best bud. They sit in a cafe drinking coffee and all.

[–]ishouldbepainting 0 points1 point ago

In this case, Batman would simply whistle for his tumbler to blast through that wall.

[–]Whatyoushouldknow 0 points1 point ago

Terry McGinnis would like a word.

[–]FairlyInconsistentRa 0 points1 point ago

Bruce Wayne's "super-power" is is wealth. With that amount of money he can invest into some pretty fucking sweet tech.

[–]buysomeapples 0 points1 point ago

As tired as I am of the Batman bandwagon, this made me laugh. So upvote.

[–]Rikplaysbass 0 points1 point ago

I guess we will just have to wait for Injustice to come out to see what's what.

[–]junova 0 points1 point ago

[–]imfrickenknipe 0 points1 point ago

Superman would've lost at the handshake, batman has a ring with kryptonite in it.

[–]Juiceisgreat 0 points1 point ago

Bats wins this fight. Then he fakes his death etc.

[–]Regatronification 0 points1 point ago

I'll always think that Batman is cooler because he has no superpowers. He's just a normal human being with a shitton of awesome gadgets and badassery. In reality, there's a chance for us to become Batman, but no chance to become Superman.

[–]GirLovesWaffles 0 points1 point ago

I like the HISHE batman. He knows he's badass and why.

[–]Aevynne 0 points1 point ago

Batman is still best hero.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

This comic perfectly illustrates why Superman is possibly the single most boring comic book character ever created. Nothing really poses a threat to him, except a rare mineral from another planet, which was probably added just because he needed to have some weakness.

Batman has flaws, depth, and character. Superman can by his very nature, not have that.

[–]lordeddardstark 0 points1 point ago

If Bill Gates is determined enough does he have enough money to be Batman?

[–]idontpost758 0 points1 point ago

This reminds me of my biggest complaint about Arkham City. You fly (well, pretty much) kicking ass and taking names. You are a complete fucking bad ass. Then you have to walk through doors like anyone else.

[–]BatmanSuperman 0 points1 point ago

Semi relevant username.

[–]mjskhblflsch 0 points1 point ago

Holy Musical B@tman!

[–]Rickrossisfat 0 points1 point ago

I wonder if this is a repost...

[–]Duthos 0 points1 point ago

Human ingenuity > Supernatural powers.

To wit; prayer vs polio vaccine.

[–]futo1231 0 points1 point ago

Batman dodged Darkseid's Omega Beams. Batman was the on who stopped Darkseid in Final Crisis.

[–]Jasonic05 0 points1 point ago

Still better than superman....

[–]red_naga 0 points1 point ago

The difference between superman and batman is: one wears his underpants on the outside, the other wears his on his head.

[–]Poprocks_and_cola 0 points1 point ago

I laughed so hard at that. The longer I look, the more I laugh. LOL

[–]Iwontdie 0 points1 point ago

Superman is the hacker of dc because he's fucking invincible to almost everything, show off strength and speed, and crazy life hacks in his mouth a nd eyes. Batman is almost realistic.