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all 162 comments

[–]Singular_Thought 175 points176 points ago

War is peace, Freedom is slavery, Ignorance is strength

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 58 points59 points ago

Doublespeak! Also Doublethink: The power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them....To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just as long as it is needed, to deny the existence of objective reality and all the while to take account of the reality which one denies. -George Orwell.

[–]akallio9000 10 points11 points ago

I believe it's called cognitive dissonance.

[–]Squaseghost 16 points17 points ago

It's not. Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort from realizing you're participating in doublethink.

[–]Tachyx 2 points3 points ago

Cognitive dissonance is what motivates them to attack. They are desperate to shut down one of the voices.

[–]NaChoBizness 3 points4 points ago

Not necessarily. Usually people are not aware of their own cognitive dissonance, so it has little to do with discomfort really.

[–]WheatOcean 2 points3 points ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is the name psychology has given to the negative emotions that motivate someone to reconcile two contradictory pieces of information. You can argue that people often reconcile their thoughts mentally or perceptually without emotions, but then this no longer falls under the definition of cognitive dissonance.

[–]YouLostTheGame23 5 points6 points ago

Black is white and white is black.

[–]FacsimilousSarcasm 10 points11 points ago

Jesus is God is the Holy Spirit.

All are separate.

[–]YouLostTheGame23 -1 points0 points ago

Power is Power. God is Power.

[–]bloopeeriod 1 point2 points ago

This reminds me of the genius underlying the Christian image of the devil: a cloven hoofed, horned m/animal - the image of which is appropriated from the pagans' bull worship. They took the exalted bull and demonized it. Ingenious marketing. Free thought is now the bull.

[–]wioneo 0 points1 point ago

There really is not much of a "Christian" image of the devil from what I've seen, please correct me if I'm wrong here.

There is a "popular" image of the devil, several actually. I believe ol horny goat man is analogous to the fat fur coat wearing santa claus, just pieced together over the years from random shenanigans.

[–]kent_eh 2 points3 points ago

There really is not much of a "Christian" image of the devil

There sure as diddly is.

[–]zach50allen 0 points1 point ago

Is that from 1984

[–]YouLostTheGame23 5 points6 points ago

Fuck, I came here to say that...

[–]DefinitelyRelephant 1 point2 points ago

Pizza is vegetable.

[–]LandSharkLandShark 0 points1 point ago

Pie is fruit.

[–]necromundus 38 points39 points ago

Free... slave....

One of these things is not like the other

[–]Periculous22 8 points9 points ago

Um.. Potato?

[–]FrankiePhoenix 5 points6 points ago

And to think that the bible told us that god gave us free will! Ha! What kind of catholic would follow the bible when you have this sign to tell you otherwise?

[–]803matt 26 points27 points ago

Logic and Reason: The devil's tools!

[–]Zeydon 18 points19 points ago

Seems fake...

[–]TrianglePointPen 10 points11 points ago

[–]BUTWHYNOTZOIDBERG 2 points3 points ago

Actually, yes, this is fake, I think. The backlight was heavily brightened to hide the fact that the letters don't match with the slot they would go in if it had been real.. but if you zoom in, it seems like the "L" and the "V" in slave would be cut off.

[–]wioneo -1 points0 points ago

That's irrelevant. It fits the common perception of religion, so it's validity can be overlooked.

[–]Wynns 5 points6 points ago

You see that logo on the upper right? It says, "Rivercrest Christian School"

I attended that school.

[–]lemursteamer 13 points14 points ago

I am a slave to freedom?

Oh wait..... I just have to think like a crazy person.

......ok, now it makes sense.

[–]Owlsrule12 5 points6 points ago

Ok now that you understand how to think crazy, test it on the idea of god. So? Is He real?

[–]warped_and_bubbling 6 points7 points ago

...... Oh lawd! I have seeeen the light! Thank you for unshackling me from the chains of freedom! Oh, to bask in your oppressive grace!

[–]lemursteamer 3 points4 points ago

Haleluah!

[–]lemursteamer 1 point2 points ago

Yes, because the bible is true and accurate in all aspects.

[–]WolfOnHigh 2 points3 points ago

And all this time I believed that a Satan's Slave was a member of an elite motorcycle club. Just goes to show that you can learn something every day. Thank you ever so much, Assembly of God for enlightening me.

[–]merebrillante 2 points3 points ago

And a non-thinker is God's slave.

[–]elskerelks 6 points7 points ago

http://www.says-it.com/churchsigns/

Is it just to prove a point, or do people try to play it off as being real?

[–]Wynns 5 points6 points ago

I agree that most of these are fake. This one, I can vouch for. I went to the school on the sign until 8th grade. I drove past this sign right after it was posted the first time (a while back) and saw it for myself. It's legit.

Edit: Found the original posting. http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/dom0g/so_im_driving_down_the_road_minding_my_own/

[–]whoadave 0 points1 point ago

OP's image did not use any of these templates...

[–]wesellspatulas 0 points1 point ago

I like how most people in this thread don't even show any sign of recognition that this is probably faked, whether it was intentionally satirical or not.

[–]eamantite -1 points0 points ago

I'm going to go snag some karmaz, thanks!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

At the last church I attended b4 I left the faith, the pastor was spouting stuff about unbelief and, believe it or not, demons of unbelief, influencing our ability to trust their particular (amongst the thousands in existence) brand of God-speaks-truth.

So easy to blame, cite and refer to sky gods, evil dudes, and fairy demons.

[–]Jerkmaster 4 points5 points ago

You took the effort to put stuff in italics, but couldn't be bothered to spell out "before"?

[–]JonnyFrost 2 points3 points ago

Lucky for us heathens I doubt this trend in religion will be sustainable. It really only takes one person insisting the faithful defend their argument with reason or be labeled unreasonable and therefor irrelevant to get the ball of reason rolling.
I have ripped the confidence from the dogmatic at coffee shops on more than one occasion. They always tend to be the guys who argue, with conviction, that X is true because "a reliable guy told me".
There is one glaringly superior method of seeking truth amongst competing ideas. Maybe I'm overestimating the average persons intelligence, but it's so obvious.

[–]johny5w 1 point2 points ago

It would be wonderful if the world worked like this, but sadly it does not.

[–]univern72 0 points1 point ago

I feel like it's more of a "cube of reason" than a "ball of reason". You roll it a little bit, then have to just as much work to get any further.

[–]wake_n_bake 0 points1 point ago

lol yes the force of rotation is greater on a cube than a ball.

[–]ZippoS 3 points4 points ago

Damn, America, you scary.

[–]Fun1k 1 point2 points ago

These religious guy really should cool themselves down.

[–]johnasaurus 4 points5 points ago

Then what would we post on r/atheism?

[–]Mileskitsune 6 points7 points ago

cats dressed as spaghetti?

[–]kindaPoetryToIt 3 points4 points ago

I am going on a crusade to make this happen.

[–]Patronicus 0 points1 point ago

I'd upvote it

[–]Fun1k 1 point2 points ago

Touché.

[–]ehbones 1 point2 points ago

LET MY PEOPLE GO!

[–]spacedust666 1 point2 points ago

More shit from "the ASS. of god" church

[–]IndieDarling 1 point2 points ago

Then college is the devil's playground

[–]Nick_D 1 point2 points ago

This is terrifying.

[–]newguy25 1 point2 points ago

Well, then Hail Satan.

[–]nbaballer8227 1 point2 points ago

when upvoted this...the count was "666" proof

[–]sandrajumper 1 point2 points ago

Does that say fag under "assembly of God"?

[–]theRealMrBrownstone 1 point2 points ago

Back in the 1980's I was a teenager and had been an assembly of god member for a several years. I was a young straight male that over the course of a few years had grown my hair long and got my ear pierced (at the time it was crazy unusual in my small midwestern town). I was also a good student, an athlete, had 2 jobs, and helped out at the church building sets for plays and setting up audio equipment and stuff like that. And I was, and still am a nice guy. But for some reason Mr. Preacher Man suddenly decides to do a Sunday sermon where he talks about how being a good person doesn't matter if you don't follow the lords words and beliefs. And he literally stared at me during the entire sermon. Just me. Why? One was because I had long hair (hmmm, did Jeebus have a crew-cut?), and two because I was a good looking athletic kid that the girls (and some older women) were keen on. The guy did an entire sermon because he thought he'd lost an alpha male status that he never had in the first place. And you betcha that later on after deciding that the whole religion thing wasn't for me, I moved on and been pretty happy about it since. A few years later I slept with one of his hot nieces after a party. She knew I hated the guy, and she didn't really like him much either. It was one of my top 5 most awesome nights of sex ever. Pu-raise da Lawd!

[–]snarfbarf 1 point2 points ago

r/atheism strikes again with a forged picture! It seems they can never resist falsifying events to further their cause :(

[–]GATTACABear 1 point2 points ago

How can there actually be intelligent people who buy this shit? I know people who are remarkably brilliant, yet they cling to this belief and take this abuse willingly.

[–]jimparsonsrox 1 point2 points ago

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

[–]magtis 1 point2 points ago

No gods or kings. Only man.

[–]guesswhostalkin 2 points3 points ago

Then I'd rather be Satan's slave.

[–]HoesFOSHO 0 points1 point ago

Sounds kinda sexy.

[–]HiAsFuq 2 points3 points ago

In all honesty, as kinky as Satan is, I really don't mind being his slave.

[–]NiteShadeX2 2 points3 points ago

According to Southpark hes not such a bad guy.

[–]titan413 0 points1 point ago

[–]SantiagoHardgrave 1 point2 points ago

Free Thinkers are not slaves to Satan. We follow him willingly thank you very much!

[–]Rubin004 0 points1 point ago

The only cure for all religious dogma is . . Abstinence !

[–]youshallneverknowme2 0 points1 point ago

Then these guys are satans slave driver.

[–]DaveBeCrazy 0 points1 point ago

This is what you get when you let the Ass of God speak.

[–]FieryHawk79 0 points1 point ago

So says the lambs of God.

[–]lol2U 0 points1 point ago

This isn't normally an Assemblies of God Statement. AG is normally more liberal than other religions. I guess this one doesn't follow the normal within their sect?

[–]vihrea 0 points1 point ago

That wasn't my experience. I'm glad you found one that is liberal'ish

[–]dhighway61 0 points1 point ago

The AG church in my city is anti-gay, anti-evolution, anti-everything.

[–]Aehsxer 0 points1 point ago

The religious ask us constantly what our mission is and why we have to be in everyone's face all the time.

Shit like this is your answer. It is everywhere, and it is so ubiquitous that it isn't even given a second thought in the United States.

[–]Valadar917 0 points1 point ago

I guess New Jersey is more secular. The only time I ever see religious postings is in front of churches (and maybe soccer moms' minivans).

[–]chubasco 0 points1 point ago

I'm fine with that.

[–]Hootietang 0 points1 point ago

...and this is why the globe, more specifically the US (thanks to a fair number of asses in your nation) is collapsing. Continual undermining of education and critical thinking. Why not just believe everything we are told right? Dear god

[–]ATworkguy 0 points1 point ago

wtf

[–]Grachuus 0 points1 point ago

That's a terrible message to anyone.

[–]esca6angel 0 points1 point ago

Lol, if that's the case then I'd rather work for Satan. At least the guy's more accepting than God. :)

[–]TeamKitsune 0 points1 point ago

Cest moi!

[–]jutct 0 points1 point ago

The person who wrote that has gone full retard.

[–]Khoops66 0 points1 point ago

This was in my hometown for about a month. I drove past it every day for work. Probably had something to do with me becoming an outspoken atheist.

[–]akallio9000 0 points1 point ago

So, the guy who thought of this sign in the first place is what?

[–]cssafc 0 points1 point ago

Irony overload.

[–]Axurabi 0 points1 point ago

Well, Im going straight to hell then! I hope to see you all there.

[–]anemodinosaur 0 points1 point ago

The... irony... it... burns...

[–]HornyUSB 0 points1 point ago

Makes the same kind of sense as when my mom goes to church, yells at us for watching the "Devil box" (T.V.), but then watches it about 2 to 3 times more than I and my father do. dafuq is up with this.

[–]LetsGetRamblin 0 points1 point ago

I think these people are just too far gone at this point.

[–]FelixMordou 0 points1 point ago

Huh. I get paid in internetgolds to think freely. Looks like I'm not a slave after all.

[–]Splazoinka 0 points1 point ago

TIL I'm Satan's slave. Yipppeee!

[–]NovaNexu 0 points1 point ago

Not to say that we don't, but they just keep widening the gap between us.

[–]scansinboy 0 points1 point ago

What is this, I don't even.

The world needs a good plague. Maybe starting with infected communion wafers.

[–]griffon666 0 points1 point ago

That's fine with us, right guys?

[–]akeschmitz 0 points1 point ago

Seems extreme and irresponsible. Although, to some it may seem like responsible common sense? Weird. I am of the former

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

This made me spit out my BBQ baby leg. Now what am I supposed to eat?

[–]innerdurden 0 points1 point ago

A free mind is not limited by the sin so they are free to do what they please, whether it be sinful or not. Free to reject the ideologies and accept logic and not seek repentance. In order to have a free mind a Christian will have to venture into areas that would be make them Satan's slave. But r/atheism doesnt believe in no stupid devil so we shouldnt be offended.

[–]darklightrabbi 0 points1 point ago

This can't be real.

[–]makattak88 0 points1 point ago

Thankfully, Satan doesn't exist.

[–]cakeDDeath 0 points1 point ago

Does that mean Reddit is hell?

[–]Chaerea37 0 points1 point ago

so much ignorance to overcome. like emptying the ocean with a teaspoon

[–]gwschultz 0 points1 point ago

Written on a sign illuminated by a light bulb invented by a "free-thinker"...

[–]DoomKvlt 0 points1 point ago

Hail Satan?

[–]aliruberto 0 points1 point ago

Sounds like something out of 1985

[–]utopianfiat 0 points1 point ago

Death metal band "Satan's Slave" seeks drummer

[–]roger_podakter 0 points1 point ago

They didn't even hold back on that one...

[–]amolad 0 points1 point ago

....and an enemy to the Republican Party.

[–]BKNexus 0 points1 point ago

And we like it that way! growls

[–]Saffire7 0 points1 point ago

[–]redditisnotevolving 0 points1 point ago

"Free Assembly of God's Servants"

[–]Tachyx 0 points1 point ago

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

--Matthew 11:30

Who's a slave?

[–]Dite 0 points1 point ago

Better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven

[–]yackewy23 0 points1 point ago

PIGIONS

[–]ENRICOs 0 points1 point ago

Pedestrian projection from the real slaves.

Where ignorance is bliss, and being unquestioning and perpetually incurious is considered as direct evidence of being one of Gods alleged elect.

I pity those self-deluded fools.

[–]sadmrfuture 0 points1 point ago

I understand that this is reddit and probably not the safest place to say this but...as a Christian...this picture makes me sick...fuck the anti-intellectualist movement!

[–]Lucretiel 0 points1 point ago

Party at Satan's! I heard Neal Degrass Tyson is gonna be there!

[–]OddQuestionGirl 0 points1 point ago

TIL that my boyfriend's real name is "Satan"

[–]danthedirt 0 points1 point ago

If this is the case, you can call me uncle tom

[–]SpaghettiTuesday 0 points1 point ago

Every time i see this sign I think it says "Assembly of God, Fag."

[–]qposter 0 points1 point ago

Thank GOD!

[–]Compumerk 0 points1 point ago

So, just to get this right, we're talking about a free slave here, right? Free... from slavery...

Free to think anywhere.

[–]trolleyfan 0 points1 point ago

Better a slave of satan than one of god's sheep...at least you're still human.

[–]Samccx19 0 points1 point ago

Yeah I refuse to believe anyone with the exception of Rick Santorum is this dumb...

[–]DeathScythe16 0 points1 point ago

Wow words cant even explain how retarded and contradictory this sign is

[–]machomike22 0 points1 point ago

But of course, everyone has the right to free agency.

[–]LandSharkLandShark 0 points1 point ago

If I believed in Satan and God, and I had to choose one to follow, I think I'd pick Satan.

[–]silvablade 0 points1 point ago

So so saddening. Signs like this are scary. It is as if someone just sat in a room going.. "We are losing so many from the congregation. They are going home and thinking about the sermons and finding hypocrisies and inaccuracies. When they start thinking about everything on the whole they begin to denounce their faith!".

"Yea Bob. I know. Maybe we should tell them that thinking is Satan's handy work? I am so tired of them leaving and taking those sexy little 11 year old boys with them. It's a tragedy."

[–]SplitTwins 0 points1 point ago

Devil: "Hey fucker! Can you get me a drink, if you're getting your own." Me: "Sure. Which drink." Devil: "Some of that new Pussy energy drink we got, if you would be kind enough fucker." Me: "Sounds good, asshat. I'll think; I'll try some too." Devil:"Lesbian." Me:"Ozzy-impersonator." Enslaved and loving it.

[–]Would_Jesus_Approve 0 points1 point ago

No.

[–]DaKuteCate 0 points1 point ago

Since people are leaving the religions it seems like they are just getting so desperate at keeping people they are saying anything to keep people who are already in the religion to stay there and not even look at a non believer. At first it was hilarious..and now it's just getting really sad to watch.

[–]HyenaMcBride 0 points1 point ago

In that case Satan is seriously winning.

[–]Ramyth 0 points1 point ago

Fun fact: Assembly of God is the Christian denomination featured in the documentary Jesus Camp

[–]AngryFapkin 0 points1 point ago

That about sums up Christianity in a neat little package.

[–]DaTr0LL 0 points1 point ago

Hail Satan!

[–]TheAmericanDiablo -1 points0 points ago

The irony.

[–]johny5w -1 points0 points ago

Since no one else has brought it up... Is it possible this is fake? I am a skeptical person and this seems so over the top to me that I wonder if it is a real pic.

[–]Wynns 0 points1 point ago

Can confirm that this was real. It's a repost, but, living nearby, I drove past it myself. I also attended the school indicated on the sign in the lat 80s.

[–]FlizmFlazm[S] -2 points-1 points ago

it could be. the message is the same.

[–]johny5w -1 points0 points ago

It most certainly would not be the same. This would be nothing but a straw man argument if this was a fake billboard. We have enough things to not like about religion with out making things up. I thought this was supposed to be the sub reddit where we don't believe in made up things?

[–]FlizmFlazm[S] -1 points0 points ago

well, i didnt take the pic myself but i have seen billboards that are equally as idiotic.

[–]Plasmos -1 points0 points ago

Hate to say it, Rivercrest Christian Church, but Satan isn't real either.

[–]Xenophorm -1 points0 points ago

I'm actually Santana's slave. Easy to get them mixed up I know.

[–]i_need_karma -1 points0 points ago

STUPID FUCKING ATHIEST

[–]Slaysme -2 points-1 points ago

Well, that's just horrid.

[–]DERBER -3 points-2 points ago

you need to cross post this into wtf

[–]Periculous22 3 points4 points ago

No... Don't!