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all 37 comments

[–]babys3alclubber 34 points35 points ago

Too bad Luke's hand flew down the shaft...

[–]off_topic_commenter 29 points30 points ago

And not the shaft he wanted it to at that.

[–]Icehead32 -2 points-1 points ago

I see what you did there! ;D!

[–]Zman74 12 points13 points ago

If I could use the force I would fap without ever touching. Imagine you're waiting at the DMV and your Iphone just died, guess what, it's forcefap time

[–]crylicylon 3 points4 points ago

You're just going to walk around the DMV with jizz in your pants?

[–]edgeman4 1 point2 points ago

Force condom, all of the protection, all of the feeling.

[–]JudgeFudge123 1 point2 points ago

As soon as I saw this post that was literally the first thing that popped in my head.

[–]unknown_name 18 points19 points ago

"Hey son, give me a hand with this. Oh, wait...you already did!" (evil laugh)

[–]zXxxxxXxxxXxxxXz 28 points29 points ago

Thanks for the repost, I almost forgot about this one.

[–]FuckYourRepostSir 19 points20 points ago

Fuck you, sir.

title comnts points age /r/
Darth Vader's new girlfriend 11coms 71pts 9mos funny
Luke.. meet my new girlfriend. 17coms 13pts 1yr funny
So, how do you like my new girlfriend? 4coms 38pts 4mos funny
Vader's new girlfriend 2coms 12pts 1yr funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Sk3tch3r 2 points3 points ago

You, you i like.

[–]sigmuna 2 points3 points ago

use more force luke

[–]splam 2 points3 points ago

Is this replacing the 'I am your father' line or adding to it? Cuz that adds a whole new level of disturbing.

'I am your father and I'm using your severed hand to manipulate my genitals in a sexually gratifying way.'

[–]QuaereVerumm 0 points1 point ago

Exactly--my first thought was, "But he's Luke's dad..."

[–]celestialwolf 0 points1 point ago

Since he's mostly electronic now, does that include his little friend?

[–]ScrambledFries 1 point2 points ago

Force stroke.

[–]im-a-trap 1 point2 points ago

Wincest

[–]Beard-Police 1 point2 points ago

forced joke

[–]Unicornholio 0 points1 point ago

Dude, you outcommented me by 15 seconds. Once again I'm amazed at the force of the hivemind.

[–]KermAmrek 1 point2 points ago

this might actually have been the worst execution of a joke I've ever heard

[–]Crappy_Script 4 points5 points ago

INTERIOR - DEATH STAR

Two Stormtroopers keep guard just outside Vader's quarters. Strange noises originate from inside.

J: I can't believe we have to do this again. It's the sixth time today!

CC: Don't have to tell me. I have better things to do. You hear there's a sequel to that Avatar animated series?! That shit is on right now, man!

An awkward silence descends between them. Jethro shuffles in his suit uncomfortably.

J: Hey, Chriss Cross.

CC: Yeah?

J: Whaddaya think he's doing in there?

CC: Well...Freebie over in sanitation told me word is he's got Luke's hand.

J: His hand? How?

Chriss Cross holds out his arm and brings his other arm down on it in a cutting motion. Jethro understands.

CC: And Chimneysmit in security said he's got Vader on video saying he's going to use his hand to...you know, churn the butter.

J: Churn the butter?

Beat.

J: Really?

CC: He's usin' Luke's han-

Suddenly, Chris Cross is jerked off of his feet, his hands at his neck. He gasps for air, struggling violently against an unseen force. Jethro stumbles away as the life is squeezed from his companions body.

A familiar, breathy voice comes from within the chambers.

V: I can hear you, assholes!

[–]linkz016 3 points4 points ago

Still a better love story than Twilight.

[–]bacoon 0 points1 point ago

Force Chicken Choke FTFY

[–]dulcedemeche 0 points1 point ago

Acceptable joke, terrible implementation.

[–]Seasickdwarf 0 points1 point ago

Force Choke? Is that a play on auto erotic asphyxiation?

[–]AmeliaGracious 0 points1 point ago

I always thought Luke looked like chipmunk when he screamed "NOOOO!"

[–]hardythedrummer[!] 0 points1 point ago

ok so even though this is a very blatant repost, I think the title is clever enough to redeem it!

[–]DIP_MY_BALLS_IN_IT 0 points1 point ago

I hear it gets even better when you force choke during it

[–]pranish 0 points1 point ago

Better get that blast shield ready.

[–]SecretWeapon -1 points0 points ago

Repost downvoter here. Upvoting title creativity.

[–]hc33brackley -2 points-1 points ago

Vader's dick was burned off, guys.

[–]sasKuatch -1 points0 points ago

:( I was gonna post this for my cakeday later this month lol.

[–]artflywheel -5 points-4 points ago

wow. laughing wayyyy too hard at this. lol!

[–]stupornatural -2 points-1 points ago

That's so messed up.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]motdidr 0 points1 point ago

No hate man, but that's not an excuse. If you found it on the Internet, it's been posted here (also likely created here these days). If you didn't make it, don't post it. Of course that's just if you want to avoid complainers. If you want karma, reposts will get you that eventually.

If you wanna contribute and be a part of the community, comment in threads, and vote submissions in /new. Again, no hate buddy, just tryin to help.