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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow all 334

[–]OsmoZ 120 points121 points ago

Bill Hader? Really?

[–]dsaavedra 16 points17 points ago

My first thought exactly

[–]mostlyferal 34 points35 points ago

Dude, there is no question, that's Dan Aykroyd. Who the hell is this Bill Hader you kids keep talking about?

[–]mouseknuckle 12 points13 points ago

For a minute, I totally thought someone had found a weird old picture of a young Dan Aykroyd. And now I just feel old.

[–]williamscullin 8 points9 points ago

This isn't Dan Aykroyd?

[–]Mr_Brix 2 points3 points ago

I'm still pretty sure this is Dan Aykroyd...

[–]firepelt 18 points19 points ago

He isn't fat enough to be Dan Aykroyd, that def looks like Bill Hader. He's the funniest person currently on SNL.

[–]mostlyferal 18 points19 points ago

I may have failed to explain that I'm living about 35 years in the past.

[–]Deadpixel1221 7 points8 points ago

That's okay we all end up that way... :(

[–]abricotfendu 4 points5 points ago

Dan akroyd around ghost busters

[–]elbruce 1 point2 points ago

Well before that. More like Dan Akroyd around when SNL started.

[–]abricotfendu 0 points1 point ago

Ahh yes that is absolutely perfect good job!

[–]Dick_Chicken 0 points1 point ago

Meaning he's funnier than your average carpet salesman.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

As a diehard Ghostbusters / Blues Brothers fan... Nope.

[–]MasterAndMargarita 7 points8 points ago

Definitely GG Allin

[–]Asmul921 2 points3 points ago

I'm pretty sure this is Jesse Hughes of the band Eagles of Death Metal

[–]SSplooSh 0 points1 point ago

Bill Hader doesn't have a Mustache, man.

[–]Stephen_W_Hawking 0 points1 point ago

Is it confirmed yet?

[–]mercurywaxing 0 points1 point ago

So I'm the only one thinking William H. Macey?

[–]anexanhume 343 points344 points ago

Don't worry about your tits, we all came here for the hipster comments anyway.

[–]phidippides14 447 points448 points ago

That's not why I came.

[–]megustadotjpg 118 points119 points ago

ewww

[–]Finnmanjohn 27 points28 points ago

mmmmmmmm.

[–]elbruce 2 points3 points ago

aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

[–]HorseSteroids 34 points35 points ago

What, hipster comments too mainstream for you?

[–]THEPEA5ANT 9 points10 points ago

It's too mainstream to say hipster!

[–]butlersrevenge 9 points10 points ago

[–]K-OMG 2 points3 points ago

"we all play synth"

[–]Euphorium 0 points1 point ago

Do do do do dooo.

[–]THEPEA5ANT 1 point2 points ago

Fucken hilarious! Stupid hipsters.

[–]astrograph 5 points6 points ago

happy cake burthday :)

[–]FlyingOctopussy 1 point2 points ago

HAPPY CAKEDAY!

[–]dedepi -2 points-1 points ago

FAPPY CAKEDAY!

[–]KoolAidPenguin 33 points34 points ago

I came here to see if anyone else noticed the mickey mouse ears... guess not

[–]diabolotry 25 points26 points ago

Didn't notice. Was hypnotized by the 'stache.

[–]McNally_52 2 points3 points ago

Was hypnotized by the tits

[–]bycommunismron 2 points3 points ago

That was the first thing I noticed. Then I was like oh... manboobs

[–]hunterg567 -1 points0 points ago

I don't know if you're just saying that they look like Mickey Mouse ears or that they -are- Mickey Mouse ears, but those are pressure valves I think.

[–]ryan2point0 1 point2 points ago

Gauges

[–]hunterg567 1 point2 points ago

Whoops sorry, you're right. I don't know why I said valves.

[–]ryan2point0 0 points1 point ago

Well there are valves there too. They look like a storm ball design.

The gauges are what look like Micky mouse ears though.

[–]m0ngrel 0 points1 point ago

That's just TIT DIRT!

[–]Stephen_W_Hawking 19 points20 points ago

I wanted to find out if this is Bill Hader. Looks a little bit like him.

[–]Senor_Elbow 4 points5 points ago

I came here to ask this as well. Upvote for you.

[–]bebesee 1 point2 points ago

I came here to figure out where the heck this photo was even taken.

[–]sesmith4205 1 point2 points ago

I came to see the stache.

[–]pinksphinx 0 points1 point ago

Greg?

[–]ScaredofBread 236 points237 points ago

I don't even care about the hilarious shirt. I'm upvoting this because you sir can pull off one damn impressive aviator/mustache combo.

[–]ziplokk 78 points79 points ago

He must be a cop

[–]MyLimeGotJuiced 43 points44 points ago

He isn't, but he does play one on TV.

[–]surfinfan21 11 points12 points ago

Do you want to be a coup or do you wanna pretend to be a coup. A lot of people pretend to be coups but just wanna bust a niggas head through a plate glass window.

[–]krikit386 6 points7 points ago

...wut

[–]MyLimeGotJuiced 5 points6 points ago

If you've never seen The Depaahted, I suggest you do.

[–]fleshgrind 2 points3 points ago

I woulda got the reference if I didn't think he was trying to spell coupe.

[–]ElGoddamnDorado 2 points3 points ago

I woulda got the reference if "coup/coupe" sounded like how they pronounce "cop" in Boston.

[–]helicalhell 0 points1 point ago

One does not simply misspell "cop"

[–]fleshgrind 0 points1 point ago

One may simply forget the e of coupe is silent

[–]internetsuperstar 0 points1 point ago

Correction, he must be a California Highway Patrol motorcycle cop.

[–]shtoops 0 points1 point ago

...or a pedophile

[–]Jimmysal 0 points1 point ago

I think he looks more like the motorcycle guy. Maybe the construction worker.

[–]Kozimix 10 points11 points ago

[–]imaginatarian 1 point2 points ago

I'm sorry I didn't look further before my previous post. Needless to say I totally agree looks just like him!! Here is an upvote, sorry for my premature postulation!

[–]iAmericA45 1 point2 points ago

Boots Electric

[–]ceandros 2 points3 points ago

You should listen to unther ! Hum, touch my tralala...

[–]BassheadPanda 88 points89 points ago

The humor is so much deeper than just a man with his nipples showing.

[–]LordGrey 15 points16 points ago

I totally agree. This photo is quite genius.

[–]blackkevinDUNK 2 points3 points ago

can you explain? i thought it was funny but i certainly wouldnt describe it as genius

[–]brokendimension 12 points13 points ago

It isn't genius, just smart and funny...some hipsters on Reddit think they have more depth and are much smarter than everybody else.

[–]LordGrey 7 points8 points ago

Yes... Hipster...

Maybe genius is giving it a lot of credit, but my thought processes go thus:

The dude is wearing something that is 100% eye drawing. Your eyes drift to his exposed nipples; it is almost impossible NOT to look. To pair that with the common phrase that women use when people stare at their tits makes it become parody of their complaints.

Sure, it isn't 100% true in all situations, but this shirt is basically saying "Of course my eyes drifted to your breasts, your clothing almost forces such observations. Don't be offended when your eye-catching clothing catches eyes."

Also, brokendimension, don't be a dick.

[–]lolboy 6 points7 points ago

I believe what you described is what we call "the joke."

[–]LordGrey 0 points1 point ago

I agree.

[–]MtrL 2 points3 points ago

That's the entire point of this, everyone noticed that because that's what it's about.

The fact that you thought you had to explain that, and that it makes it 'genius', is mystifying.

[–]LordGrey 0 points1 point ago

Dude, someone asked me to explain myself, so I did. I didn't think it was necessary to do so. I thought the joke was obvious. I also thought it was very clever. That's the only reason why I said genius.

The only reason why people are getting in a huff right now is because I used one single word in a context that other people wouldn't have used it in. I called the idea "genius". Who cares! Move along.

[–]loggedout 38 points39 points ago

My god you've done it! The bloody marathon nipple cure is here!

[–]Charlie_Toast 2 points3 points ago

AKA the red eleven

[–]Connorhea 20 points21 points ago

Boots Electric?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

That was my first guess. Seems like something he'd wear.

[–]drewbudd 0 points1 point ago

Fits with his theme song M/V

but the giant bang doesn't

[–]peepants3 36 points37 points ago

4 for you Glen Coco.

[–]lolquetaco 21 points22 points ago

You go, Glenn Coco!

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

and none for Gretchen Weiners

[–]cupcakes42 3 points4 points ago

Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize this was tumblr

[–]CA719 10 points11 points ago

I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip ...

[–]catsfive 0 points1 point ago

How quickly you got pushed off your former territory.

[–]failbot30000 8 points9 points ago

Jeff Foxworthy's new album cover?

[–]Rebloom 0 points1 point ago

That's what I thought!

[–]ImTotallyNotYourMom 13 points14 points ago

Reminds me of Eagles of Death Metal ^^

[–]Bikenutt 2 points3 points ago

He looks just like him. Saw them live.

[–]pugzilla 6 points7 points ago

Do you live, work in LA. And by work in LA I mean do you work with me? Do you work in Century City? This would be the second redditor from page image of someone I work with.

This First being-

Mustache Chest Hair

[–]buttercup_mauler 5 points6 points ago

I would like to meet your mustache chest friend

[–]DanOkami 4 points5 points ago

I'd like to fuck your mustache-chest-hair friend. And, if this guy works with you, I'd like to fuck him as well.

Hell, why not make it a threesome. Sexy mustaches and chest hair all around.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]QJosephP 0 points1 point ago

kick ass-people.

[–]reh888 5 points6 points ago

This picture is strangely arousing...

[–]snoaj 2 points3 points ago

Is that Dan Ackroyd standing in front of the containment unit?

[–]Trapped_in_Reddit 135 points136 points ago

[–]fleshgrind 24 points25 points ago

I had a humanities teacher who wore low-cut jeans and short shirts, I always saw his love rug but enjoyed seeing the looks on the faces of all the girls in the class, so I decided against telling him.

[–]SHIT_IN_HER_CUNT 11 points12 points ago

Please tell me this was at least in college

[–]irvnasty 33 points34 points ago

Ah yes, you of all people should be concerned with boundaries.

[–]fleshgrind 7 points8 points ago

Indeed. Just a general humanities class at a community college.

If it was in high school my morals would have made me at least mention it in private to the teacher.

[–]helicalhell 3 points4 points ago

What would you tell him about his privates in private ?

[–]fleshgrind 3 points4 points ago

"Hey Mr. Humanities, you may want to keep an eye out for your love garden, it's cropping up at times in class and can be quite distracting... No homo."

[–]SHIT_IN_HER_CUNT 1 point2 points ago

"Love garden". I love it

[–]feureau 52 points53 points ago

You know... can we get inter-gender objectification acceptable? I feel like I had to see porn whenever I walk through the mall and see male underwear ads. I'm willing to hand over some being-objectified karma just to be able to have the freedom of staring at whatever I feel like without being ಠ_ಠ'd

[–]inappropri8 64 points65 points ago

NEW FAVORITE WORD: ಠ_ಠ'd

[–]call_me_young_buck 5 points6 points ago

It looks like a horribly awkward thumbs-up.

[–]SHIT_IN_HER_CUNT 12 points13 points ago

Looks like ಠ_ಠ holding up a thumb

[–]TheoQ99 6 points7 points ago

b'ಠ_ಠ'd two thumbs up, or is he flipping you off?

[–]helicalhell 2 points3 points ago

That's the look of disapproval so thumbs up seems inappropriate. Looks like it's holding a gun on the side.

[–]Haasts_Eagle 1 point2 points ago

He is disapproving and pointing at the post above.

[–]thefreq 2 points3 points ago

How would you pronounce that?

[–]dsoltesz 10 points11 points ago

Disapprovaled?

[–]thefreq 7 points8 points ago

Perfect. Now to wait 3 days when it's no longer funny.

[–]creepyeyes 6 points7 points ago

That's when we repost it!

[–]The_Phaedron 0 points1 point ago

Hey! I've heard that joke before!

[–]catsfive 0 points1 point ago

[–]internetsuperstar 33 points34 points ago

I'm a heterosexual man and I'm cool with hard bodied men wearing neon colored briefs in ads? You know why? Because I don't care.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

I still love you man.

[–]stretch112 5 points6 points ago

I think is the gas gauge headpiece what does it

[–]hungryforfire 3 points4 points ago

they're water pressure gauges for a fire sprinkler riser, but yeah, they do kinda look like Mickey Mouse ears

[–]therealatri 0 points1 point ago

he atb in the riser room in front of a lowes.

[–]idownvoteanimalpics 1 point2 points ago

Kids in the hall?

[–]racoonrick 1 point2 points ago

How do you breathe with that fur coat hanging from your mouth?

[–]arkofjoy 1 point2 points ago

That isn't a fur coat, it is a toxin filter. How do you breathe without one. In today's messy environment, I go with the full topside toxin filter and the lower particulate filter. Much healthier for us city dwellers.

[–]shibalover19 1 point2 points ago

Get used to it, you are very hot :)

[–]uhmerikin 1 point2 points ago

Put your tits away, you whore!

[–]hungryforfire 1 point2 points ago

nice Silent Knight panels in the background. Do you work in fire or just enjoy hanging out in riser rooms?

[–]rkenning 1 point2 points ago

Looks like Bill Hader

[–]spfcm17 1 point2 points ago

[–]Bodie1550 1 point2 points ago

Stuff a rolled up pair of socks in your shorts and take another picture.

[–]ehosca 1 point2 points ago

you're doing it right !

[–]i_punch_hipsters 1 point2 points ago

This is some serious hipster-ass shit

[–]sturge2 1 point2 points ago

I'm a heterosexual guy but this might be the greatest thing I've ever seen.

[–]Mastr 1 point2 points ago

[–]LlamaInATux 1 point2 points ago

I don't know if I know you or all hipster kids look alike.

[–]Sikendo 5 points6 points ago

It's like a young Kevin Bacon.

[–]growlingbear 22 points23 points ago

It's like a young Dan Akyroid.

FTFY

[–]deathismybitchlover 13 points14 points ago

Dan Akroyd.

FTFY

[–]growlingbear 7 points8 points ago

aykroyd
FTFY

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 1 point2 points ago

BASSOMATIC!

[–]mouseknuckle 1 point2 points ago

I can practically hear that voice just looking at that picture. Glad I hit ctl-f before posting.

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 0 points1 point ago

Apparently there are few of us old timers around here based on the confused reply and lack of appreciation for the BASS-O-MATIC! :D

[–]Metaprinter 2 points3 points ago

Funniest thing on reddit today.

[–]Dub_it_Down_a_Little 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, but your tits are down there.

[–]Rosenfrez 2 points3 points ago

With that impressive stache, get used to it.

[–]detzdude 0 points1 point ago

Is that Bill Hader?

[–]unicornon -1 points0 points ago

Silly reddit, men don't get objectified for their bodies, they get objectified for how much money they make!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Program_These 1 point2 points ago

Good thing I ctrl-f'ed dis bitch.

I must agree.

dat mustache is rad

[–]pip-squeak 0 points1 point ago

bill hader?

[–]Anti_Freak_Machine 0 points1 point ago

I'm buying this shirt. I so need it what with my man tits

[–]shaogo 0 points1 point ago

Nice try John Jenkinson.

[–]LegosRCool 0 points1 point ago

You are one rough looking dude.

[–]ToxWatrs 0 points1 point ago

Oh hmm? Oh! Yeah, sorry.... I was looking at your mustache

[–]ChernobylGypsy 0 points1 point ago

Hello there, handsome!

[–]Ralt 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for mustache.

[–]Rusty_Haight 0 points1 point ago

Mmm, Silent Knight 5820XL. Tha'ts a great fire alarm panel you're posing with.

[–]AngryFapkin 0 points1 point ago

You need to cut a hole out a little lower to get the right response.

[–]ChrisJBarnes89 0 points1 point ago

I definitely want a mustache ride from you.

[–]finest_jellybean 0 points1 point ago

The shirt is ironic because you will look down to read the shirt instead of the person's face.

[–]fredandlunchbox 0 points1 point ago

Is that the guy from Eagles of Death Metal?

[–]YouDontGnomeMe 0 points1 point ago

At first I thought the person in the photo was wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

[–]thedude831 0 points1 point ago

SPRING BREAK! WOOOO!

[–]JoshCalCal 0 points1 point ago

Got a little swanson in you?

[–]cake_lies 0 points1 point ago

Bloody hell.. You're attractive.

[–]riptaway 0 points1 point ago

Why...do you exist?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Can't stop staring at the most glorious stache

[–]Volumest 0 points1 point ago

It is hard to not stare at the mustache

[–]lulz_seeker 0 points1 point ago

haha fuckn bad ass

[–]Tallnstuff 0 points1 point ago

I like that he is in a room full of pipes.

[–]Hops_n_barley 0 points1 point ago

I dont mean to objectify, but heres a metaphor that crossed my mind. You sweet, good enough to eat, make a brotha wanna TLC creep.

[–]TheoQ99 0 points1 point ago

Holy crap, that is one sick looking mustache.

[–]imaginatarian 0 points1 point ago

Looks like Jesse Hughes (Eagles of Death Metal).

[–]Schitiznik83 0 points1 point ago

Is that '70s Dan Akroyd?

[–]Lurkerphile 0 points1 point ago

Day stash...

[–]blotto99 0 points1 point ago

You sir, rock.

[–]brainded 0 points1 point ago

Hash?

[–]lakotian 0 points1 point ago

It's a marketing ploy!

[–]skrilla420 0 points1 point ago

Dan Aykroyd?

[–]justanewb 0 points1 point ago

now you can say you did this before it was cool.

[–]revolvingdoor 0 points1 point ago

This won't get seen but you are standing in a fire pump room. Hooray for fire pumps!

[–]TimesWasting 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of Chord Overstreet

[–]TempusMn 0 points1 point ago

You are Dan Akroyd? Imgur

[–]turquoise_blues 0 points1 point ago

gimme some 'mo!

[–]rootyb 0 points1 point ago

Enjoy being part of the rape culture.

(a sexy, sexy part.)

[–]Beardedtacofish 0 points1 point ago

What's up with using the fire sprinkler riser as the background?

[–]NewlyDivorcedGuy 0 points1 point ago

still better than my ex-wife's pair.

[–]MagicalUnicornPants 0 points1 point ago

Finally, something on Reddit that gave me a laugh.

[–]dinkleberg123 0 points1 point ago

But saving people all that money on car insurance was worth it..

[–]Etowner25 0 points1 point ago

His name is Tyler and he went to my high school in Canada. He is a crude and selfish man who objectifies women daily.

[–]SydEsthesia 0 points1 point ago

This just makes me think of Philly.

[–]trescoole 0 points1 point ago

Omg like do you live in Williamsburg ?

[–]sab0tage 0 points1 point ago

Sorry, I was looking at the gauges coming out of your head.

[–]despawnerer 0 points1 point ago

I am so tired of never being objectified. All people care about is my awesome personality and not one, not one, has ever just wanted to fuck.

[–]Emmanuell89 0 points1 point ago

holy shit i want this Tshirt so bad

[–]Tennda 0 points1 point ago

for a second i though he was holding a sword in his right hand, someone should make this happen for a 10x more epic picture

[–]tcm1192 0 points1 point ago

Tits or GTF... Oh wait, nevermind.

[–]coffey64 0 points1 point ago

That looks like a women's shirt and mindset...

[–]Amadness 0 points1 point ago

Is that William H. Macy??