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top 200 commentsshow all 238

[–]pyroclastic_viking 511 points512 points ago

Didn't learn your lesson the first time?

[–]MrJustinTaylor 68 points69 points ago

Took me a second to get that but that's a clever one my friend.

[–]splinked 3 points4 points ago

I don't get it... :(

[–]bktz 56 points57 points ago

...SECOND cousin :)

[–]alanjtory 25 points26 points ago

As in this is the second time OP has dated a cousin.

Don't worry, I got you.

[–]rhymeswithsymmetry 12 points13 points ago

[–]NietzscheIsMyCopilot 2 points3 points ago

The second time OP dated one of his cousins.

[–]nitram916 -1 points0 points ago

What's OP?

[–]queentenobia 8 points9 points ago

original poster

[–]The_Bard 5 points6 points ago

Like a poster on the wall?

[–]veribaka 6 points7 points ago

What's a wall?

[–]The_Bard 10 points11 points ago

John Wall is the Wizard's point guard, is that what you mean?

[–]GeorgeWKush420 1 point2 points ago

Dammit, Bing.

[–]masterofstuff328 2 points3 points ago

What's a point?

[–]blakeready710 0 points1 point ago

[–]Jthehor 0 points1 point ago

God is pretty OP

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]atl2rva 5 points6 points ago

Kin we start a pun thread now?

[–]wtighe02 7 points8 points ago

Oh brother......

[–]essen23 6 points7 points ago

Stop Being a Sissy!

[–]panama_dave -5 points-4 points ago

He was just kid-ing.

[–]cobra_2109 4 points5 points ago

I don't see how your comment is relative. Who was kidding?

[–]Reinmaker 7 points8 points ago

You've really upped the Auntie with this one...

[–]cobra_2109 4 points5 points ago

Auntie needn't be capitalized, but it's okay; to heir is only human.

[–]Hoppux 90 points91 points ago

are you still going out?

[–]patman21 15 points16 points ago

The most important question.

[–]vhmPook 130 points131 points ago

Gay too? That's a double whammy.

[–]Pays4Porn 149 points150 points ago

Gay makes it OK--no inbred kids.

[–]Tyyrlym 54 points55 points ago

There is no flaw in that logic.

[–]d0ndada 33 points34 points ago

"Don't fuck your cousin, you'll have a retard baby. Like I can't pull out when I'm fucking my cousin." -Dave Attell

[–]varemia 29 points30 points ago

The real kicker in all of it is that the likelihood of having a retard baby in a cousin relationship is about as high as it is when a 40 year-old woman has a child with anyone, and no one hates on that. There is even genetic counseling for couples who worry if they might be capable of making a genetically caused retard baby.

I find that most of the issues people have with incest are based on superstition at best, not science and logic.

[–]neightdog 13 points14 points ago

i can fap to this

[–]Yserbius 3 points4 points ago

Mental retardation for one baby, maybe. But two or three generations of cousin/niece marriage can lead to a very high likelihood of obscure genetic diseases.

A friend of mine worked in a camp for kids born with terminal illness and disease. He knew these two brothers whose parents were uncle and niece and grandparents were first cousins or something. Both kids has something called familia dysautomia, a disease shared with less than 1000 people worldwide.

[–]Tittiesrgood 8 points9 points ago

My mom had me when she was 40 and I came out not retarded.

[–]Banzai51 15 points16 points ago

::Looks at username:: Jury is still out on that, bud.

[–]DukeSpraynard 1 point2 points ago

He is correct. I don't see a problem.

[–]metalshadow 6 points7 points ago

Just like how 2 cousins can have a not retarded baby...what's your point?

[–]skakruk 0 points1 point ago

Actually, I think the 40 year old woman has way more probability since her reproductive cells have been waiting on Metaphase for so dman long. It's such a myth that cousin relations will produce fucked up kids. In fact, most cultures married between cousins not so long ago.

I do believe that old women souldn't have kids, though, that's just fucked up and selfish, the probability of Down Syndrome is too damn high.

[–]_awk_girl_ward_ -1 points0 points ago

Or you know, incest is just gross. And just seems wrong in *most cases. Two second cousins dating is also not the same kind of incest as two siblings dating.

[–]Zandrel 4 points5 points ago

Someone hasn't watched enough GoT

[–]codecx81 0 points1 point ago

The U.S. is the only western country with cousin marriage restrictions. I don't think there are any European countries that prohibit marriage between cousins either.

People think that you take after your parents, which is false.

Genetically, a person takes on 1 chromosome from a grandparent on the mothers side, and 1 chromosome from a grandparent on the fathers' side.

You are either a result of

  • Your mother's father / Your father's father

  • Your mother's father / Your father's mother

  • Your mother's mother / Your father's father

  • Your mother's mother / Your father's mother

In straight math, it works out to be 12.5% chance of being unlucky enough to end up with conceiving a child with genes from parent A's grand parent & parent B's grandparent's sibling. But I think there are other factors that make it much less than that.

Due to my grandfather being separated from his siblings & put up for adoption back in the 20s, by a chance of fate this happened with my uncle and aunt, who met in college. They found out about it much after the fact, when the family tree was being done. By then they had two, normal & healthy children. Since In Canada its legal to marry your first cousin, they're still together.

Still, the thought of hooking up with someone you meet at a family reunion is a bit on the creepy side.

The first girl I ever had a crush on in grade 7 turned out to be my 2nd cousin.

"Ha! Your uncles' name is Florida. So weird, my dad has an Uncle Flor.. ..ahhhh...dammit.."

[–]skakruk 0 points1 point ago

If you fuck any 40 year old woman without pulling out the probability is a lot higher.

[–]shiawuon 14 points15 points ago

You do have a point.

[–]FINDtheCURE 0 points1 point ago

[–]EyesOnEverything 44 points45 points ago

meh, 2nd cousin's fine in my book. Your grandparent's sibling's grandchild? That's a pretty good degree of separation. 'Specially if you didn't know you were related.

[–]Tyyrlym 66 points67 points ago

And especially if she's hot.

[–]clock_opera 24 points25 points ago

Especially if she's hot.

[–]Joja92 -4 points-3 points ago

Sigh... This. Attractiveness matters. All the time.

[–]CalebUTC 3 points4 points ago

Welcome to the shitty real world.

[–]tuffbot324 6 points7 points ago

1st cousins fine in my book.

[–]miniflip 5 points6 points ago

Sibling is fine in my book.

[–]Syclops 2 points3 points ago

Nice try Edgar Allan Poe

[–]jetstumpy 13 points14 points ago

Sam: "There's Sam fics, there's Dean fics, and then there's Sam and Dean fics." Dean: "They do know were related, right?" Sam: "I don't think they care."

[–]Yserbius 2 points3 points ago

"What do you mean, Slash fics?"

"Like Sam slash Dean fics"

"Oh"

[–]fingawkward 12 points13 points ago

Happened to me in high school. I was dating this girl in high school and when I told my mom she looked at me kind of funny. Apparently I was supposed to know that that her grandmother and my great-uncle were married some time before. They had been divorced for years. It did put into focus why her dad hated me and my family so much. Unfortunately we did not stop at cuddling. Caveat: There was no blood relation between us. Her dad was the product of the woman's first marriage. My uncle was the second marriage. She claimed at his funeral to still be married to him.

[–]trecko1234 2 points3 points ago

I had to make a chart of relationships to understand what the fuck is happening in that comment.

[–]rookie999 10 points11 points ago

Move to Shelbyville, problem solved.

[–]SteveBruleMD 0 points1 point ago

'Cause they're so darn attractive.

[–]SapientSlut 15 points16 points ago

Dude - I have got some hot second cousins that I didn't grow up with (we saw each other maybe 3 times total at the big reunions) who I wouldn't mind taking a trip to boner-town with. Not a big deal, especially considering you didn't even know.

[–]DukeSpraynard 0 points1 point ago

I concur.

We are such sluts.

[–]StotheBiz 16 points17 points ago

[–]sendyoualoveletter 0 points1 point ago

Jaime's expression makes this.

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 47 points48 points ago

Like a relation that distant fucking matters.

[–]Reinmaker 7 points8 points ago

Are you suggesting that this is a long distance relationship?

[–]eldog 11 points12 points ago

Tim?

[–]starkid08 9 points10 points ago

[–]HIDolly 4 points5 points ago

My friend dated his half sister in high school for two weeks, neither of them had meet their father which happened to be the same man

We never let them forget that fact either

[–]grayaus 2 points3 points ago

What me to tell you what would be more awesome? If they fucked.

[–]HIDolly 1 point2 points ago

You know I didn't even have time to ask before he assured that they didn't ....which makes me think they did

[–]SanchoDeLaRuse 0 points1 point ago

How I choose to envision that conversation:

"I most certainly did not have sexual relations with her. And even if I did, which I didn't, but if I did, it would have only been a blowjob. And if it went any further, which it didn't, I would have used a condom anyways, so if something happened, which it didn't, then everything would be fine. But since nothing happened, we're fine anyways, but I'm just saying that if something happened, which it didn't...Why are you looking at me like that??? nothing happened"

[–]HIDolly 1 point2 points ago

If you add the phrase "dude, I'm not lying" like 12 times you pretty much got it

[–]grayaus 3 points4 points ago

I had an experience like this too. But I fucked her before I knew.

[–]SanchoDeLaRuse 0 points1 point ago

[–]keisha09 0 points1 point ago

Says the virgin.

[–]grayaus 1 point2 points ago

Fuck you :p

[–]keisha09 0 points1 point ago

You know you want to ;)

[–]grayaus 1 point2 points ago

Lets do this then ;)

[–]duimstra-the-troll[S] 6 points7 points ago

Ok. In the tri state SD,mn,Ia area; my family settled down and started fucking every person. About two years ago, I meet this girl I worked with at Jimmy Johns and she introduced me ti her friend. We had our fuck fest fir a week then she went back home to her home town. About 3 months ago I go to my cousins graduation party that I never met. I get there and I about have a stroke. No matter how much u wash urself ull never be clean.

[–]BetterThanOP 31 points32 points ago

Did I seriously read every comment in this thread and not see a single joke about Maeby? C'mon Reddit!

[–]beeztrain 15 points16 points ago

You think the guy in the $6000 pants is gonna make a joke like that? COME ON!!

[–]duimstra-the-troll[S] 7 points8 points ago

knowing my luck, i would get a kid like Charles II of Spain.....

[–]JamesLovesColoring 4 points5 points ago

I'm pretty sure those royal families were inbred for two or three generations though, right?

[–]derraidor 20 points21 points ago

his family tree was a circle.

[–]Ninjatertl 4 points5 points ago

if your family tree is a straight line, you might be a redneck

[–]khaleeeeeesi 6 points7 points ago

Or a clone.

[–]codecx81 1 point2 points ago

... a shrub. FTFY

[–]derekdanger 0 points1 point ago

says Arkansas

[–]chidori5000 0 points1 point ago

Nice try Cersei Lannister !

[–]CubicKinase 1 point2 points ago

That article is so ill-informed, it is retarded. Kids, don't take genetics and biology advice from a magazine.

Edit: Looks like 5 people so far really, really like their siblings.

[–]growlingbear 0 points1 point ago

Take you biology and genetic advice from strangers on Reddit!

[–]enigmatican 18 points19 points ago

I'm guessing you ended up breaking up because of the societal taboo around it. Too bad.

[–]duimstra-the-troll[S] 20 points21 points ago

the worse part, we almost did it.

[–]Tyyrlym 33 points34 points ago

Yeah, almost having sex sucks.

[–]emperorpotatoketchup 6 points7 points ago

blue balls, so horrible

[–]samantp 9 points10 points ago

If you don't mind me asking, how far did you guys get?

[–]duimstra-the-troll[S] 16 points17 points ago

Cuddling... I'm still good right? RIGHT?!?!

[–]oneduce 23 points24 points ago

Depends on the size of your boner...

[–]Beefcake2008 5 points6 points ago

You should have fucked her.

[–]jourdone 1 point2 points ago

i always knew you were gay, baby brother. never getting past cuddling.

[–]trilWillem 8 points9 points ago

Did what? Break up?

[–]Firasissex 22 points23 points ago

The dirty.

[–]workpuppy 1 point2 points ago

You know it's been theorized that 80% of all marriages in history have been by second cousins or closer?

You share 3% of your genes through common descent. Big deal.

[–]insomniasystems 1 point2 points ago

Unless you were planning on having kids who gives a shit. Even then the chances of chromosome problems are not really a whole lot higher.

[–]ryuken26 0 points1 point ago

i see what you did there ;p

[–]MadroxKran 0 points1 point ago

It's legal in most states!

[–]kourtbard 24 points25 points ago

I hate to tell you this, but...we're all cousins. ;p

[–]LkCa15 37 points38 points ago

;P is the weirdest face a human could ever make

[–]Blackface420 28 points29 points ago

I just made the face and can confirm it is very weird.

[–]veribaka 5 points6 points ago

Everyone that read LkCa15's post proceeded to make the face. They also proceeded to elaborate a feeling of weirdness towards it.

[–]Zallarion 8 points9 points ago

[–]KevinIsPwn 4 points5 points ago

[–]DefinitelyRelephant 4 points5 points ago

the weirdest face a human could ever make

Have you even seen a Jim Carrey film?

[–]SanchoDeLaRuse 0 points1 point ago

[–]doodipop 3 points4 points ago

What episode is this originally from?

[–]OrtForShort 5 points6 points ago

It's not featured in an episode, AFAIK. I think it's from a gag reel.

[–]Doctor_Woo 1 point2 points ago

The episode is Monster Movie. But that scene was in the gag reel.

[–]atlantis145 3 points4 points ago

I have an enormous extended family. I tell everyone that's why I decided to date someone who was born on the other side of the planet.

[–]whatmySOdoesntknow 3 points4 points ago

I know exactly how this goes. My great grandfather had three wives, each had seven children. Each child never moved out of state. Each child now has children/grandchildren. I can't date anyone within this state, or surrounding areas, odds are, we are related.

[–]steve-d 10 points11 points ago

It is fantastic. The last couple of seasons have been kind of dragging, but the first five or six are great!

[–]RuafaolGaiscioch 5 points6 points ago

First five. That was the full story, had been intended to stop after the fifth, and the showrunner left the show after that. I still enjoy it, but it's nowhere near the quality that it was then.

[–]steve-d 5 points6 points ago

Yes, you're right. Season 6 and 7 have been okay with the Leviathan story line. I don't really like it, but the show is still entertaining.

[–]letsgofriday 4 points5 points ago

I'm just watching it for the Winchester interactions now, rather than the storyline which I was very interested in for the earlier seasons.

[–]Yserbius 0 points1 point ago

Dude, the show runner doesn't get killed until near the end of Season 6.

[–]Zarkx 20 points21 points ago

You should it's a great show

[–]despaxes 6 points7 points ago

Last season kinda bugged me honestly.

bugged here means, seems like the writers lacked enthusiasm or want to continue.

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 4 points5 points ago

they lacked want to continue?

[–]sathka 4 points5 points ago

Don't worry, CTRL_ALT_RAPE. I share your love of parallel structure.

[–]despaxes 0 points1 point ago

Yes?

Used in a similar sense to "The want in his eyes while looking at her was unnerving." Or "I was driven by my want of a better world." (which without the modifier would just be "I was driven by my want"

[–]dakho 3 points4 points ago

It's an amazing show. The producers struck gold in finding two lead actors with the looks to appeal to CW's viewer base but also the acting skills to carry a show incredibly well. Honestly, it's really impressive to see how these two grow as actors, and their brotherly chemistry is excellent.

On top of that, the first five seasons have a wonderful plot arc. The way everything comes together was really impressive, considering the bulk of the show is monster-of-the-week episodes (many of which are exceptional).

[–]imsupercereal4swife 0 points1 point ago

You definitely should.

[–]princeofcrime86 0 points1 point ago

Watch the first 5 seasons. The last 2 have been without the series creator and it shows.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]essen23 2 points3 points ago

Maybe you will get luck? :D

[–]b1ackcat 4 points5 points ago

maeby you will get lucky? :D

ftfy.

[–]essen23 4 points5 points ago

call me maeby?

[–]rikki_go_on 2 points3 points ago

We expect details as things develop.

[–]trecko1234 0 points1 point ago

You better deliver OP.

[–]Piscator629 0 points1 point ago

Check your state laws before proceeding. I suggest having a dossier on hand if she has second thoughts.

[–]anotherdike 9 points10 points ago

More states allow marriage between first cousins than between homosexual couples.

[–]trecko1234 1 point2 points ago

Now that's fucked up.

[–]MendedSlinky 4 points5 points ago

2nd cousins are actually pretty far apart. That means you share the same great-grand-parents

[–]Whiskeypants17 3 points4 points ago

[–]NorthAve 2 points3 points ago

This happened to me during my freshmen year. You have to understand that I have 30+ first cousins, so keeping track of my large family is a bit difficult. I found out from one of my first cousins and confronted her about it. She wanted to try and "work it out". No way I was going to do that.

[–]Freifur 5 points6 points ago

ITT you should add birth control stuff to your families water supplies, you people just love unprotected sex too much

[–]rawrsauceS 1 point2 points ago

The same thing happened to me when I was in 7th grade. I moved to a new school and didn't know anyone. I was living with my aunt and uncle at the time. They were out for the night and I had the place to myself. The girl came over and we hung out a while. Within an hour we were making out... nothing serious, just some french kissing. A week or so later I was visiting my grandmother when I came to a horrifying revolution. HER PICTURE WAS ON THE WALL! When I asked about it I was informed that she was my 2nd cousin. We quickly called off the "relationship" and never spoke of it to anyone.

[–]Dr_Rhymenaecologist 2 points3 points ago

Nice try, Lemon.

[–]lemon_head 0 points1 point ago

Yes?

[–]rawrsauceS 0 points1 point ago

Lemon?

[–]QMOW 1 point2 points ago

OP, how did you find out?

[–]BGirlTokki 1 point2 points ago

This actually I happened to me in high school. :l

[–]Oliphont 1 point2 points ago

ROLL TIDE

[–]bobthechipmonk 1 point2 points ago

Was the sex good at least?

[–]TheNeuromancer 0 points1 point ago

Nice continuous loop.

[–]GoWithItGirl 0 points1 point ago

I've seen that episode of SVU... and House...

[–]Jeffs24 0 points1 point ago

What episode is this from ?

[–]DrPLankton 0 points1 point ago

nowkiss.jpeg

[–]ALARE1KS 0 points1 point ago

is she hot?

[–]Jamee999 0 points1 point ago

Looks like he just found out about Rory and Jess.

[–]pspkicks316 0 points1 point ago

There's really nothing wrong with it. I was dating a girl a few years ago. Her uncle ended up marrying my mom - she became my cousin in law. You'll get shit from friends and never hear the end of it, but overall there's nothing wrong with it.

[–]airjordan2120 0 points1 point ago

I hope you broke it off..

[–]cheezus_lives 0 points1 point ago

What movie is this from?

[–]LittleRoxy 0 points1 point ago

this gif always makes me laugh so hard i cry. how did you not know it was your second cousin??? maybe my family is just too close then...

[–]ckath 0 points1 point ago

off topic: going back to watch this pretty boys series from season 1 onwards

[–]LG193 0 points1 point ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]The_Irish_One 0 points1 point ago

I was watching scrubs when I read this, just as i finished reading that the "mistake" opera singer came on.

[–]dudSpudson 0 points1 point ago

nice

[–]Federico216 0 points1 point ago

French... I like the way they think.

[–]dat_wench 0 points1 point ago

This happened to two of my friends in highschool. It's what happens when you live in a town of townies.

[–]atatassault 0 points1 point ago

Only 1.5625% genetic similarity. You're good.

[–]geordilaforge 0 points1 point ago

It's a small world after all...

[–]Ace1999 0 points1 point ago

Is it safe to assume you live in Alabama?

[–]BBQsauce18 0 points1 point ago

Did you get lucky?

[–]fuckitsjohn 0 points1 point ago

I just died watching that reaction gif!! hahaha

What episode or outtake of Supernatural is that from?

[–]Doctor_Woo 1 point2 points ago

Monster Movie =)

[–]fuckitsjohn 1 point2 points ago

Haha thank you!

[–]xiaou 0 points1 point ago

The thought of this happening terrified me growing up. I made two friends where rather later (over at least a year later) I found out we were 2nd cousins. Toss the idea of illegitimate children in on top of that concept and yep, nightmare fuel.

[–]didjareedo 0 points1 point ago

Soooo I just happened to open this while listening to the chorus of "Oh Shit" by The Pharcyde. I'm absolutely off my tits, and my mind has been blown. My condolences mate, I hope everything works out ok.

[–]scona 0 points1 point ago

AMA or it doesn't count