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all 176 comments

[–]Dirst 99 points100 points ago

All you need to do is spend several hundred dollars on keys, THEN you'll have better items!

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 55 points56 points ago

I don't have several hundreds of dollars...

[–]Dirst 78 points79 points ago

Sell your cousin to the Reddit slave market. (And then steal his hats)

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 52 points53 points ago

I will sell him for hats and take his!

[–]Dirst 39 points40 points ago

Maybe if you save up, you can buy an Unusual Cousin with Orbiting Earbuds!

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 30 points31 points ago

Well, he's already unusual and flies orbit him?

[–]Dirst 20 points21 points ago

Orbiting Flies isn't a very good effect, but it'll do!

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 4 points5 points ago

ha ha The reason I actually don't have good items is because of a lack of money so it will have to do for an effect :P

[–]HotCrockets 5 points6 points ago

SouceOp, man. I've unboxed for about a year and a half and I would have done much better just buying an unusual from someone, that's for sure. I have the worst luck ever.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 1 point2 points ago

Aha that sounds pretty shit...

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

I'll buy your cousin for 1000 dollars. I need a hat farmer. among other things...... Like gift wrapping

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 1 point2 points ago

I'm Scottish so...

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

Yes? How does this effect it? We'll poke some holes in a crate.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 3 points4 points ago

I mean currency wise

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

Oh hmm.. I'll pay you in 30 bagpipes or uhh.. 644.4960 british pound sterling

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 5 points6 points ago

...1 bagpipe and the rest in cash and haggis.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 2 points3 points ago

And I'll use one of the bastards many crates

[–]bursho 3 points4 points ago

Pssst, hey, hey--you want some vintage stuff?

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 2 points3 points ago

...Go on

[–]bursho 3 points4 points ago

I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10,000.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 1 point2 points ago

7,583.

[–]bursho 3 points4 points ago

Sorry, just had to make a joke about this annoying fad. But, yeah, I've got plenty of vintage items if anyone is willing to trade.

[–]mguzman011 2 points3 points ago

I'll suck your dick for a vintage reclaimed.

[–]Aggrit23 1 point2 points ago

I'd suck his dick for a vintage connivers Kunai.

[–]BernzSed 0 points1 point ago

Well then get your parents to buy it for you. Duh.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 0 points1 point ago

But, I can get my own...

[–]moonbasealpha 25 points26 points ago

Everyone has better items then I do and I bought the game on release day.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 5 points6 points ago

If I remembered what I had in my inventory I'd trade you a better thing for free probably...

[–]moonbasealpha 4 points5 points ago

I have a pair of ear buds I'm thinking about trading for like a bunch of keys. I have crates out the ass. Likely just all ugly paint colors.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

don't sell them for any less than 20

[–]moonbasealpha 1 point2 points ago

I've read that it goes for about 30 keys

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

24 atm according to spreadsheet

[–]moonbasealpha 1 point2 points ago

Still pretty good. Then what I unlock is going to be shit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

or you could sell it for $30+

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 1 point2 points ago

Aha when I opened my first crate the other day I got a strange so.. You never know! And wow earbuds?

[–]moonbasealpha 5 points6 points ago

yeah, I had to install steam and tf2 on my wife's Macbook pro just to get them. :-)

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 2 points3 points ago

...You are the stuff of legend my good man

[–]bkhtx82 -1 points0 points ago

When was this done, i am going to have access to a mac and must know if this still works... I just like the way earbuds look.

[–]moonbasealpha 1 point2 points ago

A couples years back when TF2 first came to the MAC.

[–]bkhtx82 0 points1 point ago

Well then i must verify the continued use of this tactic, for my countrymen!

[–]jnatale 2 points3 points ago

doesn't work anymore, and buds are like the holy grail of tf2 with the exception of unusuals.

[–]h00pla 0 points1 point ago

People make so many offers, but I can't help but think 'I can get better if I just wait.'

[–]iburnchildren 4 points5 points ago

I hate having to tell you this, but strange weapons are the consolation prizes (they have the highest drop rate from crates)

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 3 points4 points ago

...Fuck

[–]mguzman011 0 points1 point ago

NOOOOO DO NOT UNBOX THEM.

[–]moonbasealpha 0 points1 point ago

hahahaha this sounds familiar...

[–]builderkarras 0 points1 point ago

Based off of my very limited trading experience, it seems like you would be better off just looking for exactly what you'd hope to uncrate and trade your buds for that (and more items, probably). People always seem to really want the earbuds or Bill's hat. Also, uncrating is a let down most of the time. Though, you've likely heard all this before!

[–]JumboRabbit 1 point2 points ago

I played in the beta (Have the plat badge) and almost everyone has better items than me as well. It's sad. :(

[–]moonbasealpha 0 points1 point ago

I just don't have the time to trade or spend REAL money on keys.

[–]crassnlewd 0 points1 point ago

I wish people who paid for the game got $50 worth of keys.

[–]moonbasealpha 0 points1 point ago

Damn right. Depending on how much the game was valued as given the Orange Box came with other games as well.

[–]Shadow_Mir 24 points25 points ago

[–]purezelda 71 points72 points ago

[–]darkpivot 17 points18 points ago

Thank you. I enjoy this gif much more, the op just doesn't have the same feeling.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 39 points40 points ago

Thank you ಠ_ಠ

[–]synt4xg3n0c1d3 38 points39 points ago

If it makes you feel better op, I think yours is better.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 28 points29 points ago

High five bro.

[–]Pyrle 9 points10 points ago

Slap my hand.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 5 points6 points ago

Slap

[–]h00pla 0 points1 point ago

I like yours, but it doesn't have the same emotion in the stare.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 4 points5 points ago

It wasn't created by me, all credits go to burningfajitasalt

[–]Bluefreakbob 22 points23 points ago

Now reverse, and add deal with it.

[–]DrinkThis 113 points114 points ago

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 2 points3 points ago

You sir have just won 7 internets.

[–]The_Derpening 0 points1 point ago

Favorite gif ever.

[–]Highlander253 41 points42 points ago

There needs to be a reverse of this to the tune of the CSI intro.

[–]arbores 13 points14 points ago

If only there were some way to add sound to GIFs...

[–]Dominuous 5 points6 points ago

[–]h00pla 0 points1 point ago

That works, but the human mind (or mine at least) is pretty susceptible to suggestion. Merely saying there should be the CSI intro YEAH! has forced me to mentally add it in.

The same with the gif of that cute girl at the sporting event who notices the camera and laughingly tells the person to stop. I can hear her speak everytime I see it.

[–]greentoof 4 points5 points ago

and then post it as a reply to a comment about going to hell on their period

[–]knw257 3 points4 points ago

[–]kleptooo 13 points14 points ago

i like to buy 1 key a week it's kind of like the lotto

[–]southamerican_man 7 points8 points ago

And here I thought I was the only one who thought that hahaha.

high five

[–]vofgofm33 4 points5 points ago

I do 2 keys a week cus of the minimum 5 dollars thing

[–]clashatd3monhead 2 points3 points ago

What minimum 5 dollar thing?

[–]davidfg4 2 points3 points ago

The minimum amount that you can add to your steam wallet is $5. Of course you don't have to spend it all at once, so you could just as easily add $25 to your steam wallet, and that would last 10 weeks of 1 key per week.

[–]clashatd3monhead 0 points1 point ago

Oh I didn't realize. I just do steam gift cards.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 1 point2 points ago

The Steam wallet bro

[–]platysquirrel 0 points1 point ago

You can just add $5 to your wallet and buy a key next week.

[–]Hedzx 3 points4 points ago

Post you and your cousins backpack (or just the images with the names crossed off or something.

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 1 point2 points ago

I could probably only post mine but I'm not sure anyone would be interested...

[–]xenoph2 1 point2 points ago

I'm pretty sure at least Hedzx and me would be interested in comparing them.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Yes please post them as I am a super tf2 item noob and have no idea what are "good" items and what are "bad." Also, can you get "good" items by just playing the game? I don't do anything with crates or any trading.

[–]Hedzx 1 point2 points ago

"Good" items are stuff like promotional things (usually genuine or vintage) like bills hat, earbuds, max head etc. Stuff you can't get anymore and is in limited supply. But not all old stuff is "good". Really, the way you should play is: if you like it, then its good. Though you should use http://tf2spreadsheet.blogspot.com/ before you try selling hats you don't like. Weapons are worth nothing unless they don't drop, are genuine, some rarer strange weapons, or old promotional ones.

[–]crinklypaper 1 point2 points ago

Spread sheets are not always accurate. I'd go to sourceOP forums and compare prices manually. Made about 3k selling hats on TF2 in the past.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Thanks.

[–]abductedrooster 2 points3 points ago

I know that feel.

[–]canibeyourbuttbuddy 5 points6 points ago

Genuinely curious: how much did your little cousin spend on the game?

[–]Iamurcouch[S] 2 points3 points ago

I think he got the Orange Box, but I'm not sure...

[–]thePOOPiseverywhere 2 points3 points ago

put well over 200 hours into tf2 and i've never gotten a strange or a hat or even a dye from random drops.

only way i've gotten them is through trading refined metals, was just wondering if they actually drop randomly or if you have to uncrate stuff to get hats/stranges/dyes.

[–]angryoverlord 2 points3 points ago

Stranges you can only get from uncrating them, but you can get hats/dyes from random drops if you are a premium account (purchased the game pre-f2p or bought something in the mann co. store after it went f2p). They are just really rare.

[–]thePOOPiseverywhere 2 points3 points ago

yeah i've been premium for over 2 years now, guess i've just have sore luck.

thanks for the info.

[–]h00pla 0 points1 point ago

I think I've gotten a single paint from random drops in the last three years, and something like a name tag or whatnot.

[–]BelovedApple 0 points1 point ago

I've only just had some of the drops for pyro that I have been seeing people play for ages, combining the ashes was useless too, all i ever got was a scorched crate which I was not willing to pay to open.

[–]I_still_got_it 2 points3 points ago

My 10 year old cousin got Max's head when it first came out, but he deleted a week later because "it was boring".

:|

[–]the_polite_germanguy 0 points1 point ago

I think I heard a cry out of the /r/tf2trade subreddit. Still better than to feed the sharks.

[–]PlatypusTickler 2 points3 points ago

I can see how little kids get this stuff. I was in a trade server there other day where guys were going to give this kid over $150 in steam cash if he had his mom come in his room with the mic cued and explain to this kid what morning wood was.

[–]Sharptrooper 4 points5 points ago

I bought 2 keys, one for me and one for my brother. Guess who got the awesome misc? The one who didn't pay.

[–]4danno -1 points0 points ago

Yeah, I haven't gotten anything good from the two crates I've opened. Not going to be buying any more keys any time soon.

[–]Derperator 1 point2 points ago

understood

[–]Anonymer 1 point2 points ago

Vanilla TF2 has the best items...

[–]zninjazero 1 point2 points ago

Here, I think this is just what it needed.

[–]Manusoccerholthigh 3 points4 points ago

Reminded me of Ron from Harry potter

[–]patrincs 1 point2 points ago

What better items. I think i might literally have every item in the game that drops and I use.... equalizer. That's it. Most every item, while often entertaining, is flat out worse than the original by a large margin. A couple of them reward a lesser level of skill (I'm looking at you melee demo) and if that's your thing cool.

[–]bkhtx82 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry, the equalizer got split in the latest update. The effect is now made into two weapons. you have both of them if you had the equalizer.

[–]patrincs 1 point2 points ago

so the extra damage and the extra speed are separate? That's fine with me i guess I pretty much never used it to melee. cause honestly melee attacks in a fps? you'd be pretty retarded not to just reload a rocket or a shotgun clip.

[–]bkhtx82 0 points1 point ago

Depends on the fps...

[–]only_here_for_subs -1 points0 points ago

The various weapons are not truly straight up better or worse in most cases. They're all situational. Gunslinger engineer is great for being the pushers in a cart game. Same with huntsman sniper.

One probably direct upgrade I can think of off the top of my head though? Degreaser+Axestinguisher. There's probably a handful more, but I haven't played tf2 much since dota 2 beta invites went out.

[–]manuel_robot_cleaner 0 points1 point ago

dem shutter shades. I had some but they dissapeared. Huh.

[–]Repealer 0 points1 point ago

My brother has $3000 of gear.

I just found out he trades me his gear and uses me as a cheap mule

:'(

On the plus side I have like 200 pyro goggles from the new update.

[–]GrizzlyAdams90 0 points1 point ago

I laughed that your bro uses you as a mule but the goggles are like a scrap each aren't they? Why bother?

[–]Repealer -2 points-1 points ago

Because they are the new buds

[–]h00pla -1 points0 points ago

Crap, you're right.

[–]GrizzlyAdams90 -1 points0 points ago

Wait..... Are they really? Or you just being a smart ass?

[–]Repealer -1 points0 points ago

The Vintage are limited time only and will not be granted after July 5th. The untradeable ones are obtainable at any time.

And that is how they became the new buds.

[–]mguzman011 -1 points0 points ago

That's what I thought at first, but I assume they'll be worth much less than buds since EVERYONE could get them,not just mac players.

[–]Repealer 0 points1 point ago

Oh yeah I never meant to imply that they would be more expensive or whatever, but I meant that they are promo items soon to be discontinued meaning they're like the buds, bills etc...

Fuck I don't even trade tf2 shit

[–]Meoow 0 points1 point ago

Not to mention you can't trade them ...

[–]FattyMcPatty 0 points1 point ago

This is how I felt when my little brother ended up a thousand times better then me at rock band. I used to trump him at it, but then I stopped playing for like a week, and he skyrocketed past me.

He doesn't seem like it either. Spends most of his time with his friends/lady friend at the park, walking around town, plays maybe an hour a day if he's bored. Yet he never gets rusty. Makes me a little proud.

[–]FreeThinkerLee 0 points1 point ago

How do items work in team fortress 2? I had it on the xbox 360 but I can't remember any items in it. The idea of getting items makes me want to buy it on the computer.

[–]l0n3s0ld13r 4 points5 points ago

Its free to play on steam

[–]FreeThinkerLee 0 points1 point ago

I did not know that, thank you very much.

[–]wazzuper1 1 point2 points ago

The console versions never really got any updates. TF2 has had seriously large updates over the course of its (5 years now I believe?) run. It feels like it's doubled in the install size of what it used to be.

[–]FreeThinkerLee 0 points1 point ago

that is great to hear, it was always a good game. While its still downloading can you give me a quick rundown of items? are there only a few, such as weapon upgrades? or are there a ton of customizable items?

[–]Lemonface 2 points3 points ago

Almost all weapons are sidegrades. That is, they take away some functionality and add some other.

None are really considered over-powered, though some are quite annoying.

There are a lot of awesomely fun items to use though, and you can find a list of all of them per class on the TF2 Wiki

You can get a maximum of 10 items per week through random drops, so as long as you're playing there's a random chance one will show up in your inventory. Many people that don't have the time to play enough in a week to get the 10 items will idle/ afk to increase their chances of getting items. If you're going to do this (there's nothing wrong with it) just use an idle or achievement server - servers designed specifically for idling.

[–]FreeThinkerLee 0 points1 point ago

awesome advise, thanks :)

[–]only_here_for_subs 1 point2 points ago

There's dozens of new weapons if not probably over a hundred by now. Steam workshop also is available for it, as is the general steam trading network. Meaning things you get in TF2 you can trade for games/other in game items. Maps have been updated a bunch of times, with seasonal events keeping things fresh - every halloween/christmas for simple examples.

Basically, if you only played the console, you're playing 1/10th of the game at this point.

[–]rayraythespy 0 points1 point ago

This is the only time that I've seen the sniper without his glasses on.

[–]Ripper62 0 points1 point ago

I've been playing tf2 for about a year, one of my friends recently got into it and started playing spy crab (gambling). He now has 12 keys, I'm insane jealous. (I've only gotten stuff from drops.)

[–]mindbleach 0 points1 point ago

The Garry's Mod version was funnier.

[–]synth22 0 points1 point ago

That's how I felt when my little cousins who are 5 and 10 years younger than me were showing me shit I didn't know about in MineCraft.

[–]G0R3 0 points1 point ago

I have spent about 40 bucks on keys... when the Christmas update happened. I quickly realized I was stupid for buying them. It did get me enough hats to have some worth while trades tho. I constantly upgraded or took 2-3 shitty hats for 1 good one. I kept on upgrading/ downgrading for more stuff. I have had 20+ unusuals. I have got 30+ games essentially for free due to trading, I have sold them for about 400-500 dollars real world money, and I spent hour yelling at kids and getting mad at virtual hats. Have real fun man! I stopped playing tf2 and picked up the guitar.... O and btw I still have about 40+ hats in my inventory :P

[–]mkicon 0 points1 point ago

You must be really good.

[–]G0R3 0 points1 point ago

Na. Im a bit above average. You just need to know what people want and how to trade it. My biggest advice is to not be attached to anything. It will come around again eventually. If you really want something you will pay top dollar. If you are being offered something its worth less. Good luck!

[–]UpRiverSoup 0 points1 point ago

Man, I want 40+ hats, haha.

[–]G0R3 0 points1 point ago

ill sell mine to you!

[–]JoinRedditTheySaid 0 points1 point ago

He probably begs for items.

[–]Wild2098 0 points1 point ago

<Selling Strange Frying Pan.

[–]MrDix 0 points1 point ago

[–]yobear 0 points1 point ago

U use sfm?

[–]pastanate 0 points1 point ago

fact: people give items to kids to shut them the hell up.

I do, go to a surf server say giving away free hats to first person with proof of purchase and the first badge. They rage.

[–]Brainpops 0 points1 point ago

So you don't have the stock weapons or what?

[–]Rpeen 0 points1 point ago

[–]SubtlePineapple -1 points0 points ago

It looks like sniper's counting them as he takes them off.

[–]Conde_Nasty -1 points0 points ago

And yet you can still kick his ass with stock items.

[–]Kmartrules 1 point2 points ago

by "better items" he's probably talking about things like buds and unusuals, not weapons.

[–]BelovedApple -1 points0 points ago

I have people trying to trade with me quite often, I usually decline, cause well, I just do, I have no idea what they are after, my friends seems to think it's the halloween bag that you got last year or the year before, but I think that's not tradeable.

Could have been my refined metal as well since I had 2 of them and 2 Reclaimed Metal.

[–]I_B 0 points1 point ago

Two whole refined metal?

What's your secret?

[–]BelovedApple 0 points1 point ago

I'm a Wizard

[–]Thugnificent01 -1 points0 points ago

i lol'd xD