this post was submitted on
1,143 points (53% like it)
9,509 up votes 8,366 down votes

AdviceAnimals

subscribe1,347,393 readers

3,497 users here now

Do you love hockey? Y U NO subscribe to r/NHLMemes?

Welcome to r/AdviceAnimals

Sound advice from animals anything!

Rules

  • We're here to have a laugh, don't get too serious.

  • Follow the general Advice Animal format. Two line setup or a pinwheel background

  • No reposts, if you didn't make it, don't post it.

  • No verticals or staredad comics. At all.

  • No posting memes you saw in real life.

  • Don't make memes about your friends in real life. Ever.

  • Shortened links (tinyurl, bit.ly, etc.) are not trusted by the spamfilter and will be automatically removed. Please refrain from using them.

Making Memes

Visit:

or use

  1. Please keep the 'advice' relevant to the character. If you're not sure, go to knowyourmeme.com.

  2. If you'd like to use AdviceAnimals in your comments, here's how.

Messaging the mods

  1. We are always happy to help. Please attach a link to the comments of your submission and a description of the question/problem you are having.

  2. If you can't see your submission in the new queue and think it has been filtered as spam, please double check that your new queue is ranked by new and not rising.

  3. If you still think it is in the spam filter, don’t delete your submission, message the mods instead. Deleting it will make the spam filter more likely to filter you next time you post.

  4. click here to message the moderators

  5. click here to request a new flair to be made

You might also enjoy:

Our Family

and Friends

Good Guy Gregs check the new queue


created by mesutima community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 124 comments

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]studmuffffffin 29 points30 points ago

I think it's a girl baby.

[–]Ihatethisplace_ 23 points24 points ago

I can tell from the pinkcells

[–]ttake 11 points12 points ago

yeah...... I'm just gonna continue believing what I want. It's a little boy baby

[–]MaryjaneBrewington 27 points28 points ago

It's is a girl. She is my daughter!

[–]Dr___Awkward 3 points4 points ago

[citation needed]

[–]Dr___Awkward 11 points12 points ago

There is no way that post was only fifteen days ago.

[–]MaeBeWeird 12 points13 points ago

Reddit does funny things to your perception of time. That post was most definitely 15 days ago. She became a meme in a matter of minutes after being posted.

[–]Dr___Awkward 4 points5 points ago

This is crazy. I could have sworn I saw it at least two weeks prior to the actual date it was posted.

[–]salix_catus 2 points3 points ago

same. weird, huh.

[–]mynameisnotjonas 0 points1 point ago

Turns out, she's telling the truth.

EDIT: He?

[–]jerska36 6 points7 points ago

She's wearing a polka dot dress.

[–]MaryjaneBrewington 8 points9 points ago

This is her dad, she is wearing a polka dot dress. we were surprised you could tell from the quality of the photo and how little can actually be seen!

[–]canoftomatoes 1 point2 points ago

man, your baby is so cute. like seriously.

[–]MaryjaneBrewington 1 point2 points ago

Many upvotes for you my good person

[–]jerska36 0 points1 point ago

I could tell right away! I'm surprised nobody else could.

[–]IsAnyoneHungry 3 points4 points ago

You figured out how to get satisfying, Bud Light ice cold out of a nipple

That's really fucking co-old

[–]ar92 19 points20 points ago

I was with you until

Bud Light

You can already drink piss out of a vagina

[–]Iazo 22 points23 points ago

False.

The vagina has actually no connection with the urethra.

[–]unidentifiable 14 points15 points ago

I dunno why you got downvoted, because you're right. Only thing you can get out of a vagina is a Bloody Mary.

[–]Iazo 16 points17 points ago

I know why I got downvoted.

It's because the majority of reddit doesn't have one, and has never seen one.

[–]buttghost 0 points1 point ago

BURNNNNNNNNNN

[–]Ihatethisplace_ 2 points3 points ago

Because it's a joke not a lecture, that's why.

[–]flamingfungi 2 points3 points ago

Sure Bud Light sucks but come on, it's Real Men of Genius.

[–]aquanox314 0 points1 point ago

Today we salute you drunk baby. For being classy.

[–]PutMyDickOnYourHead 5 points6 points ago

I want to click on this so bad! But work...

[–]Captainpatch 11 points12 points ago

Smartphone and bathroom! The answer is always smartphone and bathroom!

[–]meatwad75892 1 point2 points ago

We need a NSFW_QR_CODE bot.

[–]Water_Buffalo -2 points-1 points ago

It's not really NSFW. Nothing is exposed on her.

[–]Mason_son_of_Math 3 points4 points ago

except for, you know, 98% of her skin.

[–]Babysealkllr 0 points1 point ago

Sweet Jebus, someone get me an engagement ring.

[–]dibalh 7 points8 points ago

Well alcohol does pass into breastmilk so you could technically have a White Russian in a titty.

[–]Derporelli 13 points14 points ago

[–]IAMABananaAMAA 19 points20 points ago

That looks disgusting.

[–]NinjaFud 8 points9 points ago

What's it like being a banana?

[–]TheChineseHipster 0 points1 point ago

I'm guessing he's split between good or bad

[–]Babysealkllr 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, that beer looks horribly warm.

[–]Mason_son_of_Math 2 points3 points ago

is it beer? looks like lemonade to me...

[–]Derporelli 0 points1 point ago

The secret is that it is lemonade!

[–]Mason_son_of_Math -2 points-1 points ago

well maybe that's because you're a banana.

[–]csalazarfilm 0 points1 point ago

Burning Man? If so, I wouldn't expect anything less.

[–]chrisrocks 6 points7 points ago

[–]pizzapartythehut 2 points3 points ago

Girl, you got a real steady dumper.

[–]turchx 2 points3 points ago

I read that Beer full of Titty, sounds reasonably just as appetizing

[–]banzai33 6 points7 points ago

Fun fact: James I of England (and James VI of Scotland) was given an alcoholic wetnurse to calm him as a baby.

[–]babykiller44 4 points5 points ago

or how bout a boob what cleans your teeth?

[–]mangeek 5 points6 points ago

You sort of can. Ask a nursing mom what happens when she has two glasses of wine and feeds baby.

I knew a mom who used to pump after a drink or two, then freeze the milk for times when she really wanted the baby to sleep, like plane rides.

[–]libertao 0 points1 point ago

...did it work?

[–]mangeek 6 points7 points ago

Yes. It was a great ethics/health debate among her peers. I thought it was totally appropriate as long as baby wasn't getting drunk. Baby probably got just enough to kick-off a good nap.

For reference, numbers are fast-and-loose:

Adult Human = 150 lbs Baby = 15 lbs (so... 10% of an adult)

Adult 'buzzed' BAC: about 0.08% (Mom's milk is the same as her BAC in the theoretical worst case)

Amount it takes to get there: .5oz pure alcohol/hour

Breastmilk in a feeding: About 4oz

4oz @ 0.08% = 0.0032 oz alcohol

  • 10x multiplier for 'baby size proportion' = 0.03 oz alcohol

Amount of alcohol in a beer = 0.6 oz

Even adjusting for size, giving baby a full serving of milk from a 'buzzed boob' is at WORST like having a sip of beer as an adult.

[–]Ironicotine 5 points6 points ago

Its shit like this what keeps me coming back Reddit.

[–]mangeek 0 points1 point ago

Thanks! I'm just a man with too many facts in his head, a calculator, and casual disregard for social norms.

[–]UnperfectMe 23 points24 points ago

"If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they put a beer in a titty?" - Cave Johnson

[–]turchx 11 points12 points ago

If we can make portals from moon rocks, why can't we put beer in a titty

FTFY

[–]From_behind_a_desk 4 points5 points ago

BREWBS!!1

[–]MaryjaneBrewington 0 points1 point ago

do I know you?

[–]From_behind_a_desk 0 points1 point ago

Possibly. I've been know to know a few people.

[–]Azzwagon 2 points3 points ago

This is the only one of these I've ever liked.

[–]deathfromabove1251 1 point2 points ago

Can't wait till people stop using this annoying baby.

[–]Wigglez1 1 point2 points ago

I think this is quickly becoming my new favourite meme.

[–]jesusapproves 1 point2 points ago

B/c then babies would never get the titties back from men.

[–]RobertJBull 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one who hates this meme?

[–]csalazarfilm 1 point2 points ago

I downvote it every time.

[–]New_Anarchy 1 point2 points ago

Well, to be fair to women... they have to usually tell us to stop playing with their chests enough as it is, I think they'd hate us men if we'd be sucking their tits AND getting drunk at the same time...

[–]Alphy11 5 points6 points ago

This is by far my favorite meme...

[–]GraveyardJimmy 1 point2 points ago

The drink is in a strongbow glass and is therefore likely to be strongbow cider as opposed to beer. I recognise those curves.

[–]metans 2 points3 points ago

I recognised the word "Strongbow"

[–]hrtzdnnt -2 points-1 points ago

You can tell from the pissy yellow colour that it is indeed Strongbow.

EDIT: Downvotes really cider swillers? I spit at you and in your beverages.

[–]dr_dres_orders 1 point2 points ago

God, this shitty forced meme sucks.

[–]FatKid4Sale757 0 points1 point ago

Cheers to that.

[–]crashtheface 0 points1 point ago

Hey guys... WHO WANTS A TITTY FULL OF BEER?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD5nfY5YZqs

[–]Ricceh 0 points1 point ago

As if I need another reason to enjoy boobs! Sign me up.

[–]Reboh79 0 points1 point ago

Because nutrition.

[–]KNUBBS 0 points1 point ago

If the Chinese can genetically engineer cows to produce human breast milk....... Oh, if only beer from boobs!

[–]scamartist1 0 points1 point ago

Leisure Suit Larry's child?

[–]Athene_Wins 0 points1 point ago

Year 2200.

Beverage implants for your breasts.

Choose between:

  • Beer

  • Chocolate milk

  • Coke's line of soft drinks

Canisters contain 500 ml of beverage. 4L refill tank sold separately.

[–]diamened 0 points1 point ago

Reality check: They can't put a man on the moon anymore.

[–]sniff3000 0 points1 point ago

eww warm titty beer? gross.

[–]shooshmashta 0 points1 point ago

Apparently if a woman drinks while she is able to nurse, alcohol is distributed to the breast milk. Thus, beer boobies!

[–]Snarky75 0 points1 point ago

Actually they can - mom drinks and the baby gets it too. There are test strips to test if your breast milk has alcohol.

[–]JustMyRegularAccount 0 points1 point ago

But guys, it would be warm. It only works in theory.

[–]spartaninspace 0 points1 point ago

pfft. Americans...

[–]Mitchy145 0 points1 point ago

That baby is a frekin genius! A drunk genius :)

[–]DarrenClark 0 points1 point ago

Amen brotha!

[–]SickBoy7 0 points1 point ago

We can, we have the technology.

[–]merruru 0 points1 point ago

It's a luscious mix of words and tricks, that let us bet when you know we should fold, on rocks i dreamt of where we'd stepped, and the whole mess of roads we're now on

[–]Xavion_Zenovka 0 points1 point ago

i declare baster boobs now a thing we need

[–]yyx9 1 point2 points ago

Brian Regan anyone? "They can put a man on the moon, but they can't make a phone cord that doesn't tangle. As if we never went to the Moon that person would be satisfied. Are you angry? This? (untangling cord) nah... lives a bowl of cherries. We haven't even had a man on the moon yet."

[–]Gyrolin 0 points1 point ago

You actually can. http://www.amazon.com/Think-Tall-Boob-Tube-Funnel/dp/B002HMCIPY I tried this out two weeks ago. It's beerst if a woman is holding it for you though.

[–]KFynn 0 points1 point ago

FALSE. It's called a baby bottle.

[–]nutano 0 points1 point ago

..or chocolate in testicles.

[–]frogsobl1v1ous 0 points1 point ago

1) this is hilarious, 2) If your username is a shins reference, you are now my favorite redditor.

[–]Mattycore 0 points1 point ago

Ehh the whole moon landing thing is debatable.

[–]spartaninspace -1 points0 points ago

[–]chickxbuffet 0 points1 point ago

They have to make it cold though. Real cold.

[–]SecondMillipede 0 points1 point ago

Why doesn't this have more upvotes?

[–]SuburbaniteSlob 0 points1 point ago

Because the man that figured it out is somewhere getting drunk off tit-beer.

[–]Watchman304 0 points1 point ago

CaringIsCreepy-, I have a job for you. Get a degree in evolutionary biology, and make this shit happen.

[–]Crazium 0 points1 point ago

I'd tap that

[–]masters1125 0 points1 point ago

Welcome back drunk baby, we missed you.

[–]QuasarsRcool 1 point2 points ago

No we didnt

[–]science_lover 0 points1 point ago

YOU KNOW,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, FOR SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-)

[–]coledog22 0 points1 point ago

I thought this meme was done with...

[–]Hawkleer 0 points1 point ago

I read this in Roman Bellic's voice.

[–]spartaninspace 0 points1 point ago

BEEEEEG AMERIKAN TEETEES!

[–]Rohan21166 -1 points0 points ago

Oh. My. God. This must happen. O_o

[–]godneedsbooze -1 points0 points ago

FOR SCIENCE!

[–]Ihatethisplace_ -2 points-1 points ago

Downvotes must happen Mwuhahahaha!

[–]godneedsbooze 0 points1 point ago

I'll downvote you!

[–]Ihatethisplace_ -1 points0 points ago

YES! YES!!

[–]godneedsbooze 0 points1 point ago

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]CoCo26 -1 points0 points ago

Jesus, these Re-posts are getting quicker and quicker

[–]ryguy2503 -1 points0 points ago

This meme never gets old.

[–]MrCleanMNet -1 points0 points ago

This is the most unfunny shit I've ever seen. Stop. Now.

[–]HugTheRetard -2 points-1 points ago

does anyone else hear Jason Statham's voice when reading these?

[–]the_boaster_toaster -3 points-2 points ago

As a straight male that would be pretty great.

[–]Quantum_Daze -1 points0 points ago

I find myself reading each of these in a Scottish accent. It seems plausible.