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top 200 commentsshow all 333

[–]bigmac822 316 points317 points ago

This is pretty much the Amazing Spider man movie.

[–]destiny24 57 points58 points ago

Even Andrew Garfield wasn't that big.

[–]glamotte14 15 points16 points ago

Best comment I've read in recent memory.

[–]penis-butter 21 points22 points ago

Are you a goldfish?

[–]glamotte14 6 points7 points ago

...don't tell anyone...

[–]ShinyPichu 11 points12 points ago

JUST KEEP SWIMMING JUST KEEP SWIMMING

[–]SirQuiddleytink 5 points6 points ago

JUST KEEP SWIMMING SWIMMING SWIMMING

[–]ShinyPichu 2 points3 points ago

WHAT DO WE DO WE SWIM SWIM

[–]kamikazewhovian 2 points3 points ago

WHAT DO WE DO DO whe.. *mumble mumble hum hum hum hum..." Never got those words...

[–]bigmac822 1 point2 points ago

Thank you.

[–]Onotix 5 points6 points ago

was it bad i'm confused.

[–]Mirkrid 18 points19 points ago

Spider vs. Reptile.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Thanks for spoiling it for me.

[–]UCF_FINatic 160 points161 points ago

I am seriously rooting for the snake.

[–]ShowSStopper 93 points94 points ago

Pretty sure that snake is already dead or at least paralyzed. :(

[–]TheIllogical 76 points77 points ago

Maybe he's just hibernating to fool the spider.

[–]SelectaRx 21 points22 points ago

He's just sleeping. Upside down. And inside out.

[–]ErikT45 44 points45 points ago

Living la vida loca!

[–]tikitessie 5 points6 points ago

That took an unexpected turn.

[–]thebendavis 49 points50 points ago

Nonsense, he's just pining for the fjords!

[–]bassplayinboy7 21 points22 points ago

Piiiiiiiiiniiiing for the fjooooooooooooooords?

[–]ShinyWisenheimer 13 points14 points ago

The snake.....has ceased.......to be!

[–]emdotcotour 8 points9 points ago

THIS is an EX SNAKE

[–]ShowSStopper 6 points7 points ago

[–]scottbrowncreative 2 points3 points ago

And you too. Python seems appropriate.

[–]03Titanium 12 points13 points ago

TIL that the spider that is the size of NOPE is also venomous.

[–]TSolo315 1 point2 points ago

Damn it man.

[–]Jord-UK 13 points14 points ago

maybe if we root for the spider, it will think we're its friend and... I so hope he doesn't read this

[–]strngblckwmn 8 points9 points ago

I have a feeling this fight's already done. The snake's eyes don't look quite right.

[–]bhermit 7 points8 points ago

Constriction vs venom, venom will win every time.

[–]DangerousFat 8 points9 points ago

That snake isn't a constrictor.

[–]bhermit 11 points12 points ago

I did not know that. Must suck to be a snake that can't constrict and has no venom.

[–]Doodle_strudel 9 points10 points ago

Yeah, it's looks like a nice garden snake that just eats the rodents that would otherwise harm the garden. Nice snakes those. :(

[–]DangerousFat 4 points5 points ago

It might have venom, not sure exactly what kind of snake it is, but yeah, no venom or constriction sounds pretty crappy for a snake. lol

[–]roltrap 2 points3 points ago

Where I live we call them worms.

[–]grungevalue 8 points9 points ago

I'm rooting for the Nope. Go Nope, go!

[–]UCF_FINatic 1 point2 points ago

Leslie (K)nope?!?

[–]MustTurnLeftOnRed 2 points3 points ago

The only good bug is a dead bug.

Want to know more.

[–]Doktor_Rob 158 points159 points ago

So, this snake was just flying by when suddenly, spider web.

[–]Asks_Politely 49 points50 points ago

Judging by the size of that spider, I'd say it was the one flying and grabbing the snake.

[–]YouMasturbate 20 points21 points ago

Yeah. I'm confused how how the spider got the snake.

[–]Doktor_Rob 92 points93 points ago

I'm guessing it was tossed into the web by the photographer.

[–]facemelt 44 points45 points ago

"this will be awesome..."

[–]SubversiveMustache 3 points4 points ago

"So much karma!"

[–]cyberslick188 22 points23 points ago

Almost certainly a dead snake the spider found.

He's going to skin it, hang it, use some of it for jerky and the rest for a nice set of boots.

[–]ShinyWisenheimer 5 points6 points ago

Gonna mount it's head to the fence post of its web for passers by to ogle

[–]kentuckyfriedfish 2 points3 points ago

He'll invite the other deathly-looking spiders over to his web for drinks and say in a nonchalant voice: "Yeep that right thur's a nice garter I took down mahself. Put up a devil of a fight but I got 'im."

[–]Circ-Le-Jerk 19 points20 points ago

Fucking Australia, man... Fucking Australia.

[–]kentuckyfriedfish 1 point2 points ago

Oh dear god. Flying snakes. Just what the world needs. Because they're not terrifying enough as is being contained to the ground.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Slackbeing 74 points75 points ago

You can tell it's not florida because of the lack of alligators in between.

[–]theholyevil 11 points12 points ago

If spiders ever get big enough to kill the reptiles down here in Florida, I would recommend to nuke the place. I do not care if I am in the blast zone, for the sake of humanity do it.

[–]Ohwait_nevermind 13 points14 points ago

But... there's alligators in Australia too

[–]LZYX 70 points71 points ago

Actually those are CROIKIdiles

[–]cyniclawl 28 points29 points ago

Which are significantly more NOPE than an alligator

[–]Ohwait_nevermind 14 points15 points ago

Yet, still so much less nope than that massive (I think orb) spider. No me gusta Arachne...

[–]ScrewyInk 2 points3 points ago

Nope. Orb spiders have a fatter butt

[–]NoCold 6 points7 points ago

Definitely a Golden Orb Weaver.

[–]Neeek 5 points6 points ago

Yep Golden orb, from up near Cairns I think, don't worry, they are smaller the further south you go :] (and have fatter butts down here in Brisbane)

[–]Good_Guy_Hayden 9 points10 points ago

Australian here. Can confirm the nope-ness of the crocodiles. Have you seen one of them sum'bitches jump?!

[–]cyniclawl 1 point2 points ago

No but I saw an entire african village behind one like a school photo in front of the class pet, all fit nicely between tail and head...however, youtubing now.

[–]danxdanx 1 point2 points ago

I was close friends with Steve Irwin and i can tell you how scary they are up close.

[–]Team_Khalifa 1 point2 points ago

Also the lack of zombies.

[–]jamessnow 41 points42 points ago

Looks like a golden orb weaver spider. -corrected-

[–]ahoneybadger2145 42 points43 points ago

IS THAT THING EATING A FUCKING BIRD?!?! WHAT. THE. FUCK.

[–]Ashtefere 25 points26 points ago

Come visit us down in Australia! Just an afternoon stroll becomes a life or death thrill ride!

[–]ahoneybadger2145 9 points10 points ago

Id almost consider it, but I heard the drop bears are TERRIBLE this time of year.

[–]not_legally_rape 1 point2 points ago

Actually, it looks more like a plane to me...

[–]pinkcon 68 points69 points ago

fuck you and also die.

[–]phlamez92 24 points25 points ago

Stop being such a pussy.

[–]koolban 2 points3 points ago

Nah, more like Golden silk spider

[–]ohmygodbees[!] 8 points9 points ago

I love you! No, srsly, those spiders kick ass

[–]rude_not_ginger 12 points13 points ago

I saw one of them in the wild. They're so cool. I put it on my head.

[–]PaulVene1 26 points27 points ago

Nice try, Spider.

[–]megangir 4 points5 points ago

would not want to find one of those in my bananas...

[–]Waxxa 4 points5 points ago

I didn't want to sleep tonight anyway.

[–]You_Dun_Been_Shopped 1 point2 points ago

link to article, it's a golden orb weaver

[–]Freakmo 8 points9 points ago

Nom nom nom. Fuck living in Queensland, Australia!

[–]farmer_brown 3 points4 points ago

Kill it, with fire...please...before it lays eggs

[–]kentuckyfriedfish 1 point2 points ago

I was just watching Muriel's Wedding today. Thanks for shattering my perception that Australia just was a lovely place full of people singing happy ABBA music.

[–]froasian 1 point2 points ago

[–]PapauNewGuinea 43 points44 points ago

Do most people really fear snakes that much? I don't mind snakes at all (unless they're venomous, which is pretty easy to tell if you know your area). I don't prefer their company, but if I see one slithering along while I'm walking through a park or something, I would not be bothered. I definitely wouldn't consider them a NOPE, but I might just be weird.

[–]baik69 26 points27 points ago

Same. I would much rather have a snake in my boot than a spider.

[–]whateverandeveramen 20 points21 points ago

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!

[–]TheDespondentZombie 11 points12 points ago

What?

Spider in boot = Disgusting leggy spider goo.

Snake in boot = A huge swollen black foot that needs to come off.

Yes I'm Australian.

[–]bjbyrne 8 points9 points ago

Spider wearing boots, time to get the fuck out of Australia.

[–]allwaysnice 8 points9 points ago

[–]bjbyrne 2 points3 points ago

how long have you been waiting for somebody to say spider wearing boots so you could use that?

[–]bltsmith 2 points3 points ago

Pretty sure he was going for a Toy Story joke.

[–]Wolf_Father 1 point2 points ago

its a reference...to toy story...

[–]Up2KnowGood 14 points15 points ago

Agree. I see people killing non-venomus snakes just for the sake of killing snakes and it makes me sad...

[–]Tsenraem 2 points3 points ago

Only on snake whacking day

[–]redvandal 4 points5 points ago

Tell that to my ssssssexy snake skinned belt.

[–]GingerTiff33 7 points8 points ago

Its not the snake I fear, its the gigantic spider. No thank you.

[–]eaclark2 4 points5 points ago

Personally terrified of snakes, once screamed like a girl and sprinted away from a baby gardner snake even though i was carrying a loaded shotgun anyway...but on the other hand im not really afraid of spiders, i dont want them on me but seeing as how i've already been bitten by a brown recluse they really arent that scary to me

[–]PapauNewGuinea 9 points10 points ago

You've been bitten by a brown recluse but you aren't scared of spiders? You're a mad man.

[–]eaclark2 2 points3 points ago

well i mean after you've been bit by one its like, meh been there. I can take em

[–]kentuckyfriedfish 1 point2 points ago

I don't think he's crazy. Makes perfect sense to me. As a fellow ophidiophobe, I understand. Everyone else is just bonkers, scared of little bugs.

[–]HerpsAreNotHerpes 1 point2 points ago

*garter (sorry, snake person here)

[–]scvnext 1 point2 points ago

I feel like I would step on any spider (not that I would for no reason!), but would feel uncomfortable stepping on any snake.

[–]RuTsui 2 points3 points ago

Do people really fear spiders that much? There are only two types of spiders in North America which are dangerous to humans, humans are so much larger than spiders that it's almost comical that we're afraid of them, and spiders will leave you alone if you leave them alone. I bet it's the same way with snakes.

I have two pet tarantulas, and I've never been bitten, and even if one did bite me, it would cause little more than pain and a welt. Even when cats or dogs play bite, they can draw blood, and I've had more than a few close calls with dogs who do have the capability to kill me where as a tarantula has never even threatened to bite me.

[–]PapauNewGuinea 5 points6 points ago

I think the reasons that spiders are so feared is because they are unknown. You never know when you're in the presence of a spider (well you sometimes know, but you don't always know) because of their small size. Whereas if you see a dog, you can keep track of it, and when it gets aggressive, you know what's coming. When you are made aware of a spider, you usually don't know what kind of spider it is. (Like when you walk straight into a spider web, and all you know that there is some kind of spider on you). I personally am not very afraid of spiders. I mean, I still panic a bit when they are on me and I don't know if they can fuck me up, but if ones just chilling in its web, I feel no fear. But I'd say most people fear spiders a considerable amount. I'd consider myself on the lower end of the fear spectrum.

What I really can't stand (along with a lot of people) is cockroaches. I know they're harmless, but they disgust me and creep me out. If I see a cockroach, I'm either a.) about to leave wherever I am or b.) about to hunt that fucker until his head is separated from his rear end by at least 3 feet.

[–]CoriOreo 55 points56 points ago

Alright, so here's how this is gonna work:

In life-or-death scenarios, animals will be sympathized with depending on their nature and that of their opponent. All animal groups are given a ranking based partially on intelligence, and partially on how much humans just like them. Lowest to highest, here you go:

  • Bacteria & Fungi
  • Invertebretes (and Mean Fish, e.g. sharks & anglerfish)
  • Plants (I know they're not animals STFU) & Cute Fish
  • Reptiles (except turtles [not snapping turtles] and tortoises)
  • Birds
  • Mammals (except vermin, and sometimes humans... depending on the context)

Any animal caught killing and consuming a creature of a higher order than itself will be the subject of lots of sad looks. So, a bird eating a spider? Not a problem. Spider eating bird? NOPE. Wolf eating hawk? Sure, why not. Golden eagle eating wolf? Holy shit, that's just not right! Spiders eating insects? I couldn't care less either way. Plants eating mammals? FUCK!

Exceptions will exist and will be largely arbitrary. Snakes eating mice makes some people sad, but there are lots of mice in the world and snakes are pretty. Snakes eating people? ...Possibly also okay too, actually, especially if the person was a poacher hunting elephants for the ivory in Darkest Africa, and was about to knock the hero into a pit of bloodthirsty lions.

Keep in mind that the larger the separation between the predator and the prey, the more indignant one is justified in becoming.

And now that we know exactly to what degree we should be upset when we see pictures like this... Let the butthurt at the coldness and indifference of nature begin.

[–]Mormolyke 3 points4 points ago

One quibble: bacteria kill everything higher on the ladder all the time, and we accept this as normal (unless it's flesh-eating bacteria).

[–]CoriOreo 2 points3 points ago

That doesn't mean we have to like it.

[–]Mormolyke 1 point2 points ago

But I would argue that an animal (or human) dying of a bacterial infection is an event less horrifying or sad than being consumed by another animal lower on the ladder.

Sorry, I'm being kind of anal.

[–]CoriOreo 2 points3 points ago

Well, I suppose that for the most part, deaths caused by bacteria or viruses isn't really a form of consumption. An individual bacteria kills individual cells, but has no intention of destroying the entire organism. It doesn't really have intention at all.

Moreover, the bacterial rung on the ladder was mostly added for Edritch Horror kinds of cases - giant amoebas slurping people up and slowly digesting them in acid, that sort of thing. The ultimate insult to human superiority is being consumed by something that doesn't even have a brain.

[–]kentuckyfriedfish 1 point2 points ago

I just read the ebola thread. LIES.

[–]SanchoDeLaRuse 1 point2 points ago

I think it would be quite horrifying to watch a human consumed by fungus/bacteria while they are still alive. Death by growing infection, such as gangrene.

Nose maggots... sonofa...

[–]Schmackadoodle 3 points4 points ago

I'm replying to this comment because that's the only way to save it while I'm on my phone. Sorry.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Upvotes for the Rain King reference

[–]Crazium 63 points64 points ago

One of these NOPEs is significantly more NOPE than the other

[–]chiropter 40 points41 points ago

yes, I'd say there is a 3-4 sigma difference in NOPEitude.

[–]3sigma 38 points39 points ago

Well, is it me?

[–]4sigma 40 points41 points ago

Or me?

[–]Cueball61 25 points26 points ago

Both 1 year, 3 months and 6 days old.

Hmmm

[–]chiropter 2 points3 points ago

Id say you, 4sigma. It's a highly significant difference. Although 3 is a nice prime number.

[–]Zombiegenetics 36 points37 points ago

As a kid in the Philippines, my friends and I used to catch different types of spiders so we can pit them against each other. Kinda like a third world version of Pokemon. I had one of these banana spiders, slightly smaller, she was queen of the spider fight world (in our school district anyways). The other students mostly used small orb weavers that were no match for my giant nope. Wolf spiders were strung up and drained within seconds too, their puny mandibles no match to the chitinous reach of mini-shelob. It got to the point where we had to do exhibition fight against insects. Mantids, roaches, even a scorpion (tie, they didn't want to fight) all were fell before her. One day a kid wanted his tiny hermit crab to fight my spider. Lunch money was bet, heavily favoring the baby hand sized spider. They were both put in the barren terrarium that served as the ring for the special fights ( she was too big to fight on a stick). Mini- shelob stayed on the bottom of the tank, a veteran of dozens of duels, staring, waiting for her tiny opponent to come out of his shell. 5 mins passed and no movement from the hermit crab. Shel got bored and started to turn around and climb, Motherfuckin' SloBro out of nowhere! Scuttles over and clamps a claw into my spider's soft abdomen. Tears her open and retreats back into his shell. Well, I didn't have money for lunch that day but MFW there was a colony (?) of Shel's in our backyard and she wasn't even the biggest one.

TL,DR: SloBro vs giant spider.

[–]spartaninspace 8 points9 points ago

PokeSpiders! gotta catch 'em all!

to not die of venom is my real test,

To train them is my cause!

PokeSpiders!

[–]Zifendale 1 point2 points ago

My grandpa told me, as kids this is what he use to do in his neighborhood too and how there was a black widow that ruled the spidey circuit.

[–]tzortst 11 points12 points ago

Photo Taken in Coolum, Queensland, Australia

Source, and some more pictures; http://news.ninemsn.com.au/glanceview/225721/spiders-snack-on-birds-snakes.glance

[–]NYGamer95 2 points3 points ago

Why are all the huge spiders in australia?

[–]Dittybopper 13 points14 points ago

What planet do you live on?

[–]potatoaster 9 points10 points ago

Needs to be nuked.

[–]Sootcase 21 points22 points ago

After playing Fallout, I would not reccomend that.

[–]blaarfengaar 2 points3 points ago

*recommend

[–]Garage_Dragon 1 point2 points ago

It's the only way to be sure.

[–]off-and-on 11 points12 points ago

I've seen one of those spiders eat a FUCKING
BIRD!!

[–]Mormolyke 1 point2 points ago

(on the internet)

[–]Lemonpopsicle 6 points7 points ago

Who won?

[–]chiropter 5 points6 points ago

clearly, the snake is already dead.

[–]QuillJS 3 points4 points ago

Snakes are way less scary than spiders.

[–]Necritica 16 points17 points ago

Looks like nope is winning.

[–]Lurker0001 9 points10 points ago

This kills the nope.

[–]dcgh96 5 points6 points ago

Hey SciFi channel, look, a new idea for a horrible movie.

[–]helpful_grey 5 points6 points ago

[–]ghostman126 1 point2 points ago

what the fuck? was the snake flying or some shit?

[–]guynamedgriffin 3 points4 points ago

[–]SURFDUDE400 11 points12 points ago

5 bucks on the spider winning, either way burn the area.

[–]14u2c 10 points11 points ago

[–]Demiscourge 8 points9 points ago

damn nature! you scary!!

[–]meaty99 2 points3 points ago

The spider has already won. That snake will probably be a week's worth of food for the spider. Sleep well, Reddit. Sleep well.

[–]Gunner3210 2 points3 points ago

I hope they both annihilate each other and disappear.

[–]FuckingBand 5 points6 points ago

Even if that is a really small snake, that spider is pretty much on light the entire continent on fire and start over elsewhere status.

[–]TheUltimatePoet 1 point2 points ago

How about nuking from high orbit?

[–]Forlarren 1 point2 points ago

It's the only way to be sure.

[–]habbathejutt 2 points3 points ago

As an American who used to watch a lot of Animal Planet: Australia, not even once.

[–]_saya_ 1 point2 points ago

this one looks like one of the spiders from 'Jumanji' =_=

[–]MacNamedDre 1 point2 points ago

But that ain't what it takes to love you...

[–]you_are_a_pickle 1 point2 points ago

you fool you fool

[–]Gr8WhiteGrammarNazi 1 point2 points ago

Picture makes the spider look bigger than it is. No spider has more than a 12-inch legspan.

[–]Tsenraem 1 point2 points ago

Oh, that's all?..........shudders

[–]BenHBTM 1 point2 points ago

That is just a grass snake, which is actually pretty harmless to humans.

[–]iC3xM4n 1 point2 points ago

This Summer on Syfy....imagine greater.

[–]Kellou87 1 point2 points ago

Yep This pic is from Australia- It was in a news headline, some lady stepped outside and saw this on her verandah. I'm pretty sure the snake is a baby one, like the size of a worm so it seems scarier than it is.

[–]pepperman7 1 point2 points ago

This brings back memories of how I used to fire at them through a field of mushrooms.

[–]Shuffling_everyday 1 point2 points ago

Spiderman vs the Lizard?

[–]garcia_1015 1 point2 points ago

Syfy's next blockbuster

[–]barristonsmellme 1 point2 points ago

I need a team snake tshirt.

[–]ddr330 1 point2 points ago

One nope is of significantly more nope-worthy materiel than the other nope. In other words, I'm rooting for the snake.

[–]bxna 1 point2 points ago

Everything I hate is in this picture. Almost pooped my pants and vomited in my mouth :/

[–]spartaninspace 1 point2 points ago

better than pooping your mouth and vomiting your pants.

[–]Kartarsh 1 point2 points ago

Anyone else wondering how the snake got up there?

[–]Former_Manc 1 point2 points ago

Welcome to Australia. Enjoy your stay.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

My money's on nope, he looks scrappy.

[–]lth5015 1 point2 points ago

nope vs. small harmless snake

FTFY

[–]starktor 1 point2 points ago

I like snakes. Spiders Im not a big fan for

[–]beetlebeepbeep 1 point2 points ago

I never want to go outside again :(

[–]fryingchicken 1 point2 points ago

its okay they probably won't be able to produce offspring,

[–]SGTBillyShears 1 point2 points ago

Australia?

[–]Swazi 2 points3 points ago

What kind of spider is that? And where was this taken so I know NEVER TO GO THERE EVER.

[–]freddyhaights 11 points12 points ago

Golden Orb Spider. Australia.

[–]stajway 12 points13 points ago

Honestly, where else could it be?

[–]thehazardsofchad 2 points3 points ago

E.D.F.! E.D.F.! E.D.F.!

[–]ByeNight 1 point2 points ago

Reporting for duty, sir!

[–]MenlaOfTheBody 3 points4 points ago

I don't know how many times I have seen this posted on here and it still creeps me out.

For anyone wondering the spider is a golden orb spider usually the size of your hand but in Northern Australia can grow much larger and the picture is not fake.

I am so rooting for the snake.

[–]blacktide808 1 point2 points ago

REPOST MOTHERFUCKER!

[–]DeadManWalk 1 point2 points ago

DAMN YOU REPOSTER! SHAME ON YOU

[–]timmycosh 1 point2 points ago

That is a repost, it's also taken in the suburbs of Melbourne (Australia)

[–]SexChief 1 point2 points ago

i...i think i might close my window now...

[–]chaorace 1 point2 points ago

Repost

[–]clivodimars 1 point2 points ago

Holy cats I knew what this was going to be and it far exceeded my nightmares. WHY DID I CLICK IT?!

[–]RatApples 1 point2 points ago

I think its more like "Nope vs. Double Nope"

[–]AlexanderHammer 0 points1 point ago

Doesn't look like much of a contest. I don't think the snake is making any headway.

[–]superxpro12 0 points1 point ago

Uh... who's winning?

[–]pacreams 0 points1 point ago

well.... who won?

[–]Chair001 0 points1 point ago

Garder snakes are the badass's of the snake world for reddit. They eat bugs, spiders, and things that crawl at night.

[–]bedhead_numbah3 0 points1 point ago

What kind of spider is that?

[–]lelandachana 0 points1 point ago

Man, how is a snake a nope? Snakes are goddamn adorable, and if they're not adorable, they're pretty neat.

[–]kentuckyfriedfish 1 point2 points ago

WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM?? Edit, because I think I know which one. THIS ONE.

[–]beerbo_baggins 0 points1 point ago

How did you come up with such a fitting title?

[–]Mjm90420 0 points1 point ago

What the fucking fuck?!?! That spider is enormous!

[–]AsianSensation3 0 points1 point ago

The snake looks like it had and x on his eyes indicating he's dead 😲

[–]lindn 0 points1 point ago

I don't even know what I was expecting when I clicked that link.

I need to start thinking about what I open.

[–]KravenErgeist 0 points1 point ago

Which one's winning?

[–]Radialshifter 0 points1 point ago

what the fuck kind of spider is that and where are they so i can avoid it... please be Australia....

[–]Mitty002 1 point2 points ago

Golden Orb spider. And you guessed it, Queensland Australia.