this post was submitted on
1,091 points (53% like it)
7,872 up votes 6,781 down votes

funny

subscribe2,520,835 readers

8,468 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 334

[–]kitty-luvs-noms 230 points231 points ago

Men may think this is the worst invention ever, but as a woman this looks like the most comfortable thing in the world.

[–]Mannimarco 38 points39 points ago

And many more men wish they had invented it first so their job could consist of dealing with boobs all day. This man is a genius, a terrible, brilliant genius.

[–]Daiephir 8 points9 points ago

And he's probably gay as well, that's why he's in the fashion industry and does this.

Note: Nothing against homosexuals, just saying, just that nearly all of the gay men I've befriended over the years are either really into fashion or hair styling.

[–]RequireMoreMinerals 10 points11 points ago

You're really missing out on a large population of the gay community.

[–]Kramernaut 18 points19 points ago

Yeah, like construction workers, cops, bikers and sailors.

[–]pants6000 0 points1 point ago

For some reason, this comes to mind...

[–]mattzm 27 points28 points ago

I theorise that gay men, having little to no attraction to women, are able to truly and objectively figure out what makes them look "best" from a purely mechanistic standpoint. They are free from the the power of the boob.

[–]brokenseeker 10 points11 points ago

It's why most women in fashion are built like13 year old boys.

[–]willardfillmore 7 points8 points ago

The reason models are built like that is because their bodies do not draw attention away from the clothing they are wearing. Models are basically moving mannequins; during shows, you don't want buyers' attention focused on how attractive the woman is, but rather on the attractiveness of the clothing she is wearing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

They are free from the power of the boob.

I couldn't find the appropriate video on YouTube, but that sentence made me think of this episode of South Park. lol

[–]domo-loves-yoshi 0 points1 point ago

Not true, a lot of gay men like breasts, they do not know why, but they do like breasts. I know closely at least 5 who do and have talked to more that admit it to.

[–]OreoDragon 1 point2 points ago

Just saying, you may have more friends that are gay and just haven't told you, if you've never asked. Unless you're gay yourself, many will often keep that information to themselves. Being bisexual myself, I have a good number of gay friends and can say that a very small percentage of them have any interest in 'fashion' beyond maybe an earring. And I also know that the ones that do, are in fact the same small percentage that tells everybody, even if they don't ask.

[–]ViolatingUncle 0 points1 point ago

Does this mean all gays wear earrings?

[–]OreoDragon 0 points1 point ago

You'd be surprised, a lot do. A few of them have told me that a single earring on the right ear is a subtle tell.

[–]adamfawkes13 0 points1 point ago

Probably the same magnificent bastard who created that damn Cami-secret.

[–]Gertiel 2 points3 points ago

I'm here for only one thing. WHERE CAN I GET ONE!!

[–]fogburner 0 points1 point ago

I think there will be mixed feelings on it all.

[–]Squirrelson -2 points-1 points ago

It's actually funny, I find the idea of this bra extremely sexy anyway so I don't really understand the people in this thread.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ewoksandcandycorn 15 points16 points ago

It's really inconvenient trying to buy t-shirts that fit a hand bra.

[–]johnnynutman 65 points66 points ago

it will be better in the long term if they have better support.

[–]arrjayjee 13 points14 points ago

I'm all for more busty older women with perky titties!

[–]JesusTapdancingChris 1 point2 points ago

Time to turn this into a Hellen Mirren appreciation-thread?

[–]pingas 22 points23 points ago

FOOOLS! That's a bra designed to show off cleavage while wearing a v-necked shirt.

[–]CaptainHilders 4 points5 points ago

Like a plunge bra? http://dangerouslee.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/plunge-bra.jpg

Looks just like the one in the picture actually.. I got one years ago, how new is this bra OP speaks of?

[–]Squirrelson 4 points5 points ago

about non-existant new.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Yes! I bought one of these about 5 yrs ago... I can confirm it is in no way a jiggle-proof bra.

[–]FluffidyPuff147 43 points44 points ago

I want one! That sounds pretty fucking amazing.

[–]Tontolou -1 points0 points ago

Boobs are always amazing.

[–]pauli_rearea 200 points201 points ago

men dont understand how fucking uncomfortable boobs are.

[–]DaBigCheese 36 points37 points ago

Apparently this guy did

[–]TheHerbalGerbil 126 points127 points ago

I’m a man and I find my girlfriends’ boobs extremely comforting.

[–]coleosis1414 22 points23 points ago

I'm about to relate to you on a deep level.

Think about the times when you lie on top of your girlfriend and lay your head in between her boobs. Now tell me you can think of a more soothing, comfortable thing in the world. Bet you can't.

[–]Maschalismos 11 points12 points ago

the moment when she starts breathing again...

[–]coleosis1414 1 point2 points ago

Hah! Actually my gf loves when I lie on top of her... Doesn't SEEM to affect her breathing...

[–]guraqt06 3 points4 points ago

I agree. It's most definitely my fiance's favorite part of the day. The thing is, it's mine as well - it's incredibly comforting for me to hold him close and pet his hair. I don't always love having boobs (they can get pretty unwieldy at times), but I do love that we have daily deep bonding time that makes us both feel content and happy.

[–]Brachial 2 points3 points ago

As long as you're in between, you're fine. If you're ON my boobs, get the fuck off, your head is heavy and it hurts.

[–]Smofo 1 point2 points ago

That's because it's like a mothers hug to comfort you while you were young.

[–]zeert 10 points11 points ago

Comforting =! comfortable.

[–]pauli_rearea 3 points4 points ago

Boobs...when theyre not cushioning a mans body theyre either being stared at or pulling you down. its way worse than balls seeing as theyre not tiny, theyre in your way, and you cant even fucking run without having to hold them.

[–]Sw1tch0 29 points30 points ago

nor do women understand how fucking uncomfortable balls are.

[–]larsbrunsvold 27 points28 points ago

Exactly! Try having to do jumping jacks in the wrong pair of boxers. They beat the shit out if themselves!

[–]james9075 16 points17 points ago

or squats while the boys are trying to decide which side they wanna be on. it's like a razorblade

[–]boredcanadian 21 points22 points ago

Or sitting down on a hot day and squishing one.

[–]Hippster 2 points3 points ago

Or walking around all day with your balls swinging all over the place.

[–]acdcfanbill 1 point2 points ago

jesus, on hot days, when they are real low, trying to cool off and you go try to take a shit and they hit the water in the toilet bowl... i don't need that shit!

[–]nigganigga 0 points1 point ago

I just wear tight garments for this reason

[–]james9075 7 points8 points ago

that's even worse! the seam cuts em in half i tell ya

[–]asshatnowhere 1 point2 points ago

Mine begin to overheat

[–]guraqt06 12 points13 points ago

try doing it in the wrong bra. a lot of "sports bras" don't do anything if you have big boobs and real bras aren't always up to the task. If you think your balls beat each other up, imagine dealing with boobs that are several times bigger and prominently displayed for the world to see while you're working out!

[–]muddzm 4 points5 points ago

You're right, but let's not make this a competition. Neither sex will ever understand the suffering of the other, let's leave it at that.

[–]guraqt06 7 points8 points ago

No competition, just commiserating :)

There's a lot of testosterone in this thread, so I thought I'd show the other side.

[–]SunTzup 2 points3 points ago

/r/transgender disagrees ;)

[–]portalscience 0 points1 point ago

Men aren't supposed to prominently display our testicles during jumping jacks? My gym trainer is fired...

[–]ladybetty 0 points1 point ago

Try doing jumping jacks with the wrong bra on, or even worse... no bra.

[–]katqanna 3 points4 points ago

I do. When I had my second child through a c-section, I had an odd reaction the doctors could not explain - my labia became swollen and looked like scrotum, for 2 frickkin days. They would not release me from the hospital until all the swelling was gone and they could not figure out why it occurred in the first place, much less how to correct it. I truly do not understand how y'all sit without lifting them out of the way, wear pants properly or walk.

[–]Brachial 2 points3 points ago

You, however, won't get women making posts about how sick you are for not flopping them around for us.

[–]Mrscabbitual 2 points3 points ago

Show us yr bawlz!

[–]DriizzyDrakeRogers 13 points14 points ago

I imagine it would be like wearing a really tight pair of boxers and having the boys suffocate. Am I close?

[–]hackiepoodle 54 points55 points ago

Imagine your balls were fucking huge, many pounds each, and caused back pain. Or maybe hip and knee pain. Something.

[–]j12601 75 points76 points ago

Wait, they're not supposed to be?

[–]G0VERNMENT 30 points31 points ago

[–]wsitu 7 points8 points ago

His condition is caused by an excess of watery fluid collecting around his testicles. His balls are probably normal size.

[–]james9075 4 points5 points ago

so if he like, poked a hole in it with a needle, they would just drain and he wouldn't need surgery except to get rid of the excess scrote?

[–]wsitu 17 points18 points ago

I'm an unemployed moron, not a doctor!

[–]jellguk 6 points7 points ago

[–]TehSvenn 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for reminding me of awesome episode.

[–]fetusxfajita 6 points7 points ago

bravo, sir.

[–]boredcanadian -1 points0 points ago

That's what happens when you've got BALLS OF STEEL EDIT: You guys are no fun.

[–]SkullyKitt 0 points1 point ago

In addition to people expecting you to want them to be looked at whether or not you do, and you're considered repressed if you keep them completely out of sight but a slut if you do uncover them.

[–]anal-razor -1 points0 points ago

ill hold them

[–]brokenseeker -2 points-1 points ago

Women don't understand how uncomforatable balls are.

[–]Ophite 100 points101 points ago

[–]sheetskees 27 points28 points ago

I call it the "Abrakada-bra"

[–]Buttertoast16 6 points7 points ago

IT crowd= instant upvote.

[–]bigjuss 74 points75 points ago

Does anyone know where this can be bought my girlfriend would love one

[–]cactusextract 4 points5 points ago

I'm afraid they do not exist. The story is fake.

[–]guraqt06 1 point2 points ago

That's so sad...I had such hope...

[–]CaptainHilders 0 points1 point ago

They do exist. Plunge-bra my friend.

[–]cactusextract 15 points16 points ago

The bra in the picture exists, yes. However it is not the magical bra the picture suggests it is, nor did anyone named Calvin Rickson invent it.

[–]CaptainHilders 0 points1 point ago

I assumed as much. I have a bra that looks just like it and I bought it about 5 years ago.

[–]Tiktaky 5 points6 points ago

The bra in the picture is a U-Bra, its designed to be worn with very low cut and low-back dresses.

A plunge bra is just a style/cut. What you want (<C cup) is a Demi-Cup Plunge with removable straps.

What you want as an >C cup is a friendly, femm and flamboyant gay man with soft, fluffy gloves to follow you around and just hold them up for you.

[–]Worst_Lurker 15 points16 points ago

me too, please

[–]gamerguyal 25 points26 points ago

So basically, he designed a better bra. I'm no boob expert (it's more of a hobby) but isn't that exactly what bras are designed to do?

[–]Deckurr 16 points17 points ago

But they suck at it, which is why he has improved bras.

[–]tsunamibird 17 points18 points ago

I want one.

[–]SkullyKitt 425 points426 points ago

God forbid women have access to a bra that offers support and helps out with the issue of feeling self-conscious about men staring at their breasts.

[–]Spr09 154 points155 points ago

I'm sorry, I was busy staring at your e-boobs.

[–]MrRykler 13 points14 points ago

Wow. you just made me actually search for boobs. I feel young again.

[–]gatordude731 39 points40 points ago

This one is the hottest [NSFW]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-abmNXd-uZXU/TvCe2C7RBxI/AAAAAAAAAec/pJFcURwCH_I/s1600/man1.jpg

Edit: DOWNVOTE ME ALL YOU LIKE WOMEN! SORRY THAT SOME OTHER BREASTS ARE SEXIER THAN YOURS!

[–]saadakhtar 11 points12 points ago

URL says man...

[–]Jedimastert 0 points1 point ago

[–]Narezzz 1 point2 points ago

Kept me busy for a minute or two, not gonna lie.

[–]Narezzz 12 points13 points ago

Sadly 90% of those are gross :(

[–]Imagine_This 2 points3 points ago

I expected chicken breasts. I'm not hungry anymore.

[–]thenamedone1 2 points3 points ago

So is this gonna be your thing now? I'm sure you could make a novelty account that's something like... ONLY_POSTS_TITS

Or something...

[–]Curtalius 4 points5 points ago

  1. create novelty account: posts_kittens_and_tits
  2. ???
  3. profit.

[–]ICantKnowThat 11 points12 points ago

Hello_Titties?

[–]rocketshipotter 3 points4 points ago

Didn't read text, clicked on picture, need eyebleach.

(To clarify, I'm a straight woman)

[–]WiggleWidIt 0 points1 point ago

It's threads like this that make me miss Suddenly_Boobs

[–]Noxstant 3 points4 points ago

Delivery! It's from the sexual orientation police, we believe you've miscalculated

[–]itspinkylee 0 points1 point ago

Oh god. The nipples. My eyes. Why. Why is this happening to me. The nipples are the size of my head. I will never sleep again. For fear of suffocation. Why, god. Why.

[–]kyonz 9 points10 points ago

Sigh sorry for hijacking your post, I hate this post - the Bra in question was actually designed for dresses with a large amount of cleavage at the front, something all guys can appreciate.

[–]lemonusAli 16 points17 points ago

Amen.

[–]coleosis1414 1 point2 points ago

Yes, God forbid it.

(I jest, of course.)

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SkullyKitt 18 points19 points ago

I'm sure Freud would have had something to say on that, but then again I'm fairly certain Freud just wanted to rationalize thinking that his mom was hot.

[–]Black_Apalachi -5 points-4 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]sikyon 20 points21 points ago

No, you wouldn't mind hot women checking you out.

If the women checking you out were as disgusting and as creepy as most men that stare at women, you wouldn't like it.

[–]SkullyKitt 85 points86 points ago

I can't speak for all women, but for myself and friends it's been that your parents, family members, etc. very early on try to protect you from being viewed sexually (when you're a kid, or just hitting puberty, etc), but go about this in a hamfisted sort of way that typically includes encouraging you to wear sweaters or a thicker bra so that your nipples don't show, and the mistaken feeling that your nipples are somehow taboo or shameful.

Then BAM, you're an adult, maybe you're into sex, maybe not, but you learn that lots of men do view your breasts as a sexual thing, and believe that they have the right to stare, maybe even grab at them or feel you up.

This, combined with the fact that you're made to believe (through advice, media, stories from friends and strangers alike, and the occasional encounter with a creep) that men who openly view you sexually probably want to make a move on that.

When you're a guy, that's typically no big deal. Flattering or something you might want to reciprocate at best, creepy/unwanted at worst.

When you're a woman, there's a slew of worries that come with being 'checked out' - if I call him out on looking, will he be upset and react violently? Am I bitch for not wanting someone else to look at me that way? If I ask him to stop, will he get angry or make a scene?

It gets worse with unwanted flirting - what if he doesn't take 'no' for an answer? Do I have to worry about him following me to my car/where I live? That's when it turns into "Do I have to worry about fighting this guy? Is there help nearby that I can call?"

You may be wondering, "How is this related to people looking at your boobs? There's no way people make the connection between someone staring at your boobs and wanting to rape you, that's ridiculous."

It is ridiculous, and most (sane) people don't think that way. The issue of feeling self conscious also comes partially from the belief of "well if she didn't want (attention/groping/being stared at/flirting/etc) she wouldn't dress that way." Ie, if you wear something that shows cleavage, or your nipples show through it when it's cold, never mind if it was for you to just feel pretty for yourself, or because you like dressing up and grooming yourself for the sake of self-pampering or paying special attention to yourself through wardrobe and appearance - now you have to worry about whether or not someone's going to see how you're dressed and interpret it as "She wants (insert unwanted attention here.)"

TLDR: some women feel self-conscious because they worry about their appearance sending the wrong message to the wrong people.

edit: extra note, I'm not sure how many guys grasp this, but when a guy dresses up nice - by getting a good hair cut, wearing flattering clothes, wearing cologne, etc - the typical read/response is something along the lines of 'handsome/professional/well-groomed.' It's seen as the guy just wanting to take care of his appearance, or to improve how he's viewed professionally by showing that he cares about his visual presentation and attention to detail.

When a woman dresses up - nice hairstyle, flattering clothes, perfume, jewelry, etc - the go-to words are things like 'sexy' or 'hot' at best and 'vain' or 'slutty' at worst. There's a double pressure of "If you don't dress a certain way, you're lazy/sloppy" and "if you do dress a certain way, you want people to treat you sexually." Hence being self-conscious about breasts. Trying to dress nice without emphasizing your boobs/butt/legs ends up with people questioning if you're a prude or something. It's difficult to find a middle-ground of 'looks nice without people making assumptions about how I want to be looked at' when you have boobs.

[–]snapplesauce123 10 points11 points ago

Now I feel conflicted

[–]SkullyKitt 25 points26 points ago

Let's open a dialogue! What do you feel conflicted about?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SkullyKitt 49 points50 points ago

That's a tricky question, and I'm going to answer it in two parts.

The problem with your question is that - as I've stated in this thread, by saying that I can't speak for all women - not all women feel the same way. Some women do want sexual attention. Others don't. Some just want attention for the sake of attention. Some want attention because it makes them feel validated. Some women seek love and affection and misinterpret men drooling over them as just that, due to poor conditioning or an emotionally complicated history. Women are human first, female second - and this is assuming that the 'women' in question here are straight, or sexual at all. Like I said, if a guy really puts effort into his appearance, the first assumption typically isn't that it's all about getting laid or getting girls to flirt with him. So why is the first assumption that if a woman dresses to emphasize her body, it's because she wants guys to look at her?

A more direct comparison:

  • If a guy takes off his shirt (especially if he's not particularly built or in shape) at the gym and is wearing nothing but shorts and shoes while he works out, the first assumption is along the lines of doing it for the sake of comfort so that he doesn't have to deal with sweat, heat, restrictive clothing, etc. Even if he's in shape or has well defined muscles, it's more seen that he's 'showing off' in terms of the work he's done and how fit he is. Unless he starts up a conversation with someone for the sake of flirting, the first assumption is not typically that he's advertising and wants to be hit on.

  • If a woman of moderate shape at the gym wears yoga pants, or a sports bra that doesn't cover a lot of her back, or any other outfit that generally displays her stomach/chest/legs/but, the first assumption isn't that she's wearing what she's wearing for comfort and flexibility, but that she wants to show off how 'sexy' she is and that she wants guys to stare at her boobs and ass. If she's in good shape, it's almost immediately assumed that she's trying to put on a display of her body.

~~~ A personal example if you care to read.

When I was 15 my mom - a health/exercise nut - took me rollerblading and biking at a 12 mile outdoor nature course that wound around a lake. It was a popular workout location. We went a lot during the summer, and the heat just about killed me - I just couldn't do it in shorts and a t-shirt. My mom and I went out to buy better workout clothes, and got matching outfits of spandex shorts and midi-tops with support. The difference was INCREDIBLE. I was able to go much farther, much more comfortably, with little trouble from heat or sweat because it was wicked away and could feel the breeze on my skin a lot better. On the third or fourth outing dressed this way, some guys I'd seen about previously started staying behind us, keeping a regular distance. When we stopped, they stopped. We stopped for water at one point, and one of the guys - much older than myself - came up and started flirting with me, and was staring at my chest a lot. I wasn't sure how to react, and my mom ended up pulling me away. I felt uncomfortable for the rest of the 6 miles to the parking lot, knowing that those guys were behind us, and wondering if the guy who'd been talking to me was staring at my ass.

From there on out, because of how the whole thing had made me feel, I ended up sacrificing comfort for fear of broadcasting the wrong signals for the rest of the summer.

[–]SkullyKitt 39 points40 points ago

My second answer:

Because women are told that's how they should dress.

It's a youth-worship culture, especially with women - we're conditioned from very early on to believe that our value, first and foremost, is not how funny, creative, strong, hard-working, intelligent, or generally well-rounded we are, it's how young and attractive we are. Look at all the products out there for reducing lines, blemishes, and wrinkles there are, for toning the skin, for brightening the hair, etc. Women in their 30's in fashion magazines as models, or actresses, are near invisible - unless they have big boobs and devote a lot of time to maintaining their body through intensive workout, restrictive diets and/or surgery. Women in their 40's pretty much are invisible. Throw in a wedding ring and a child, and you might as well be a ghost.

We're made to believe that you're not worth talking to, starting a friendship with, working with, etc. unless you're young and beautiful. We're made to believe that unless you want to work a job where no one sees your face, interacts with you for more than 30 seconds at a time, or takes you seriously, you better be sexy and desirable, whether or not sex is something you're looking for.

This gets internalized, and so you end up with a situation where women dress up for themselves because 'sexy' is empowering, but the two most common reactions to that 'power' are this:

  • She enjoys being sexual? She's a slut.

  • She dresses that way but doesn't want advances? She's a tease.

Don't dress up at all, do your best to be invisible to avoid harassment?

  • You're a prude/fat/ugly

[–]Absinthe42 18 points19 points ago

I'm going to piggyback onto this and add a third perspective, if you don't mind. It's coming off of a personal anecdote, but I know several other girls who have had this problem in the past few years.

I have had to be on birth control pills since I turned 15 for genuine medical reasons. In the first summer I was taking them, my breasts grew from an average sized A cup to a full C cup. Excluding how incredibly painful/uncomfortable that was, I suddenly had no idea how to accomodate my new body. I kept bumping into things and whatnot with my chest, my back constantly ached, and there was this new weight on the front of my body that made me slouch. Where before I felt completely confident and secure in my appearance and interaction with the opposite gender, I suddenly had no clue. I couldn't tell if guys were talking to me because they liked me or because they just wanted to stare at my chest. Getting dressed was an absolute nightmare because none of my clothes fit and I showed massive amounts of cleavage until my parents could afford to replace my wardrobe. I was just completely uncomfortable. For years. I wasn't completely confident in my body until I turned 19. And then this past February, at 21 1/2, my doctor changed my prescription and I am now a bursting at the seams D cup, and so get to feel like an awkward 15 year old again. My back kills, none of my clothes fit (including my work ones-awesome!) and I can't afford to replace them, and I feel completely exposed even when I'm not. Lovely.

I hate my body. I hate feeling so awkward and uncomfortable. I feel like I look ridiculous and disproportionate and I know that a good portion of the guys who talk to me only do so because they like what I look like. I have a boyfriend who is helping me work on my confidence, which is wonderful. He's amazing. But he's literally the only person who can look at me or compliment me without me wanting to run away and swath my body in fourteen layers of clothing. I'm just not confident at all anymore, and I would prefer it if men would just leave me alone. :/

TL;DR: Some women are still developing and adjusting to their bodies and feel uncomfortable when people check them out or hit on them.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SkullyKitt 35 points36 points ago

There is NOTHING wrong with natural instinct. You can look at, fantasize, and appreciate all you like: but going out of your way to announce to someone - however the phrasing - that you appreciate them by appearance first and as a person second, especially when the cultural dynamic plays in one direction most of the time power-wise, it's typically weird, often unpleasant, far too often creepy/threatening (even if not meant that way) and overall, unsolicited. Of course, environment and context is a huge part of all this, but I'm glad you see what I'm getting at.

On the guy in question, I'd say at the oldest he was early 20s. It's possible he was just a very mature teen, and saw the situation - me being with my mom - as a non-threatening way to approach me to start flirting. The mistake he made was assuming, based on my attire, that I wanted someone to approach me. That's never been my thing, as I've always looked for friendship first. I've never been interested in any man who's made it apparent right off the bat that all he wants from me is my body.

[–]KKOSinsk 13 points14 points ago

I really like the time and effort you have put into your responses. Great dialogue between you two!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

I admire you so much right now. I feel exactly the same way, and you wrote comments so clear and understandable. I can't write like that. I look up to you :)

[–]snapplesauce123 3 points4 points ago

Yeah. People should get to know each other before anything serious. Friendship is a great way. I totally agree.

[–]sociomaladaptivist 1 point2 points ago

Who the fuck keeps downvoting you!? You've been politely asking questions! The main subreddits are the worst fora for asking questions I have ever seen, despite the quality, well-thought answers you're getting from SkullyKitt. Usually a questioner would be derided for their insolent questions. I guess it's just summer time and the public school teachers are out now. Boy, do they hate questions.

[–]snapplesauce123 6 points7 points ago

Yes, I guess I am losing a lot of comment karma from this conversation, but I don't really mind. I am learning a lot from this.

[–]indyK1ng -2 points-1 points ago

There was either a comment here on Reddit, or a screenshot of a Facebook comment, that pointed out that to an extent a man's natural instinct is to look at breasts because their size is indicative of a woman's ability to bear children.

There was also that comment thread that explained it by parodying the lyrics to Sir Mixalot's "Baby Got Back"

EDIT: Found the Reddit comment thread. It actually started as an r/AskReddit question about the evolutionary reason guys like big butts and the top comment thread is the response in the form of the lyrics. I'm pretty sure the reasons are similar.

Also, link.

[–]AcornPancake 4 points5 points ago

Well evolution wise I've read there's no proof larger breasts are better at producing sufficient milk. There are hypotheses by evolutionary psychologists suggesting most traits favor making it easier to get information about health and age of the woman, e.g. bigger breasts sag more easily so it's easier to determine the age, blonde hair is more drastically affected by health, it's easier to notice dilated pupils in light (blue) eyes.

[–]ghostcaptain 26 points27 points ago

I'm sure the first thing a woman thinks about when she gets dressed in the morning is how every guy she passes will react upon seeing her. It's really selfish of you to think a woman in "small and revealing clothes" is teasing you. Yes, sometimes women dress slutty for attention. Or perhaps, a woman is wearing short shorts and a tank top because it's motherfucking hot outside.

[–]MCJokeExplainer 23 points24 points ago

  1. If I were to paint a really nice painting, it would be for other people to look at. I would love for other people to look at it, but hey, maybe I just made it for me, because I like things that look nice, and I feel good about myself for being able to paint such a nice painting. But if someone told me they wanted to stick their dick through my painting, or rub their sweaty palms all over my painting, I would say that's not the intended purpose of the painting. Just because something is designed to be visually appealing doesn't mean it's also intended to have a dick stuck into it.

  2. Society/religion/whatever has told you, men, your whole lives that perfectly natural feelings of arousal are "taboo" and they're horrible urges etc. So it's understandable that men would blame women for "teasing" them. Women are making men feel sinful things. But here's the thing -- feeling sexual things is OK. It's OK for men to feel sexual things. Religion and society and parents and everyone who demonize sex are wrong. You're allowed to feel sexual attraction. But that also means that since you're doing nothing wrong by feeling sexual things, women aren't doing anything wrong by wearing them. Just like Picasso's painting Guernica is designed to make you feel things about war, a lady who has put a lot of effort into her appearance can make you feel things and that's all right. That doesn't mean you should put your dick into Guernica, or tell Picasso that you would like to fuck his painting. That's not appropriate.

  3. But you're a nice guy, right? You would never poke your dick through one of the world's most iconic paintings. You just want to look at it because it's a pretty thing that someone worked hard on. And that makes sense. But you've only been to the museum once or twice. You don't know that on other days, guys come to the museum and look at it for a long time. And then, when no one at the museum tells the man that it's time to move on to another painting because he's been staring at Guernica for way too long, the man takes that as a sign that no one will mind if he tries to poke his dick through Guernica. The museum guards have seen this too many times, because for some reason a lot of guys really want to stick their dicks through a brutal depiction of Spanish Civil War, so now, when anyone looks at Guernica, the guards snap at them and tell them to move along. Even though 90% of museum patrons are just admiring the art, they can't risk losing a huge piece of art and culture to the 10% that want to stick their dicks in a painting.

  4. There's a general outcry. "Why even paint a painting if you're not going to let anyone look at it?!" So then the museum says, "You know what? You're right. Clearly a lot of people want to stick their dicks in paintings. We'll hang tarps over all the paintings." So the museum covers all the walls in the museum with white tarps so no one can see the paintings. Understandably, the museum loses most of its patrons. But a weird thing happens -- some guys are still coming to the museum and STILL want to stick their dicks into paintings! Even though they can't see the paintings because the paintings are covered! So after great deliberation, the museum says, "You know, we lost some of our best patrons because we covered up our paintings, and the dick-poking problem hasn't been resolved at all. We might as well be proud of the paintings we have and show them off, because covering them up didn't stop people from trying to jizz all over this Picasso." (Similarly, women still get sexually harassed when we cover up, so what's the point of wearing clothing we don't like if we get treated the same either way?)

tl;dr Don't go to a museum in Madrid and try to insert your penis into an original Picasso.

[–]Phillinator 11 points12 points ago

Is it called the Abra KadaBra?

[–]keebler888 0 points1 point ago

[–]princess_shami 5 points6 points ago

Any idea where to get this?

[–]itspinkylee 4 points5 points ago

I feel like the bra in question couldn't be the one in the photo. I'm about the model's size, and even in normal bras I bounce if I walk fast enough. My best friend has giant boobs, and I think in that bra, they'd be all over the place. This makes no sense.

[–]RhymeAndReason 2 points3 points ago

Came here to say just this. Girl in picture doesn't look like the type to have a problem with jiggling. Let's see how it acts with some larger cups. For science of course...

[–]jon_ossum 9 points10 points ago

This was posted on the A&Memes page on Facebook a long time ago and is fake apparently. The Longhorns Memes page has a Longhorns version. In reality, someone random invented it from what I hear.

PS. I do not approve of all the Aggie hatred.

[–]-CONFIRMATION-BIAS- 4 points5 points ago

FW:FW:FW

[–]jbeck12 3 points4 points ago

I am a guy, but don't all bras do that?

[–]WrestedFromABear 10 points11 points ago

No, most suck at that.

[–]kratan 6 points7 points ago

A lot of girls get ill fitted bras due to shopping at places like Victoria's Secret and such places, where the measurements aren't always accurate. But even with a good bra, there's unnecessary movement :(

[–]TARDISninja 13 points14 points ago

Boobs hurt a lot when they bounce up an down, though.

We have enough to go through anyway.

[–]braunshaver 2 points3 points ago

I'm just surprised a female engineer didn't do this before.

[–]girlsaregoodatmath 2 points3 points ago

As someone with breasts, I seriously doubt the validity of that claim. Especially with as little coverage as that.

[–]versquanica 2 points3 points ago

I want one!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Whoop!

[–]AdmiralSkippy 1 point2 points ago

When I saw Micheal Caine I thought it was an image of him from Mrs. Congeniality. And then I realized it wasn't.

[–]Wacocaine 1 point2 points ago

[–]Krieggman 1 point2 points ago

Anyone else thinks he looks like Louis from Suits?

[–]WetTittyMountain13 1 point2 points ago

Can I get this is a 32HH?

[–]CantSeeShit 1 point2 points ago

no, this mans a genious. He got to spend months study bouncing boobies and erect nipples.

[–]CaptainHilders 1 point2 points ago

I'm not sure if he really did invent this "new" bra or how old that image is but for everyone wondering, this is exactly what I know as a plunge bra. You can buy it at almost any lingerie store and as far as I know it doesn't really keep boobs from jiggling that much.

Own one, and it's not super comfortable really.. T-shirt bras are more comfy.

edit: through a google search I found that it's the U Plunge Bra. Not just Plunge Bra.

[–]NekoMimiMode 1 point2 points ago

That looks like a U-bra. Those don't do any of those things in my experience.

[–]c4bb0ose 0 points1 point ago

it actually makes sense, girls with big enough breasts will get no change from wearing a sports bra currently.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

I usually have to wear two or three depending on the level of activity I plan on doing. Fucking sucks, this bra would be a godsend if it worked!!

[–]erty768 0 points1 point ago

COMMUNISM

[–]crm5 0 points1 point ago

The only reason he made this is to see tits, probably took his sweet sweet time.

[–]RapeSosage 0 points1 point ago

Crab People?

[–]lezlad 0 points1 point ago

Old old news...

[–]MynamesMarie 0 points1 point ago

Repost. Go fuck yourself

[–]Rab_Legend 0 points1 point ago

See he's just counterbalancing the good done by the ones making a maroon wall against the WBC

[–]Michi_THE_Awesome 0 points1 point ago

I'll take five in primary bra colors and two patterned ones.

[–]JpinkPow 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry, but to me that looks incredibly uncomfortable

[–]Ooth 0 points1 point ago

I so read that in his voice

[–]Sneerglaw 0 points1 point ago

REEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

[–]guraqt06 0 points1 point ago

I would buy that in a heart beat. It solves my two biggest bra problems: 1) worrying about my bra showing when I wear low cut shirts and 2) the bra not being full coverage enough to support my boobs/not have a weird line showing through my shirt. (and by "support" I mean not cause me pain by the end of the day!)

I also think it's rather sexy because of the awesome cleavage enhancement. The person who captioned this obviously didn't think it through very much...a bra like this would actually made boobs MORE pleasant to look at...

[–]Keliza -5 points-4 points ago

Everyone here knows this is very obviously fake, right? I mean, not even the model's boobs aren't completely covered. I'm pretty sure this is just the super push-up bra they sell on qvc all the time that in no way stops anything ever from jiggling.

[–]MagnificentBasterd -1 points0 points ago

This post, and the ensuing comments, sucked. The same usually goes for any content on reddit that has a low guy-to-girl ratio.

[–]Extravajohnza -1 points0 points ago

Smug little shit

[–]anal-razor -1 points0 points ago

fuck this guy

[–]FortyKK -3 points-2 points ago

Those fucking aggies.

[–]ncs818 -4 points-3 points ago

only a Faggie would do this

[–]wheelzofsteel -1 points0 points ago

And this is why Texas A&M should not become a part of the SEC.

[–]TheTritium -1 points0 points ago

It is a sad day to be an Aggie...

[–]whslaxattack -1 points0 points ago

Where is my pitch fork!?!

[–]ZachNanners -3 points-2 points ago

Fuck that guy