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all 189 comments

[–]NoSubrannke 143 points144 points ago

I hope his girlfriend's pubes are the Death Star.

[–]Space-Dementia 104 points105 points ago

That's one tight exhaust port.

[–]mackinoncougars 80 points81 points ago

No bigger than a womp rat's.

[–]jeremy032180 41 points42 points ago

Then man your ships. And may the Force be with you.

[–]Breathing_Balls 43 points44 points ago

It's away!

Negative, just impacted on her tits.

[–]FredDorfman 49 points50 points ago

And then your friend Han shows up out of nowhere and helps you finish.

[–]MittensofFire 48 points49 points ago

You're all clear kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!

[–]GeneralWarts 27 points28 points ago

Cue orgasm

Great shot kid! That was one in a million!

[–]Breathing_Balls 13 points14 points ago

Fanfares, medals, r2d2 bleeping, Chewbacca gargling.

Round of applause.

Cue credits.....

[–]bigbossodin 7 points8 points ago

All right, who's ready to do the sequel?

[–]desmondsdecker 7 points8 points ago

I feel a great disturbance in the Force. As if millions of spermy voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. By vaginal acidity.

[–]JayHay23 7 points8 points ago

[–]CHALLNGEACCPTD 2 points3 points ago

He might be gay, you know.

[–]JayHay23 10 points11 points ago

Luke, at that speed will you be able to pull out in time?

[–]xrawfish 2 points3 points ago

stay on target

[–]orbitgum 1 point2 points ago

I won't ask how you know this.

[–]JackNightmare 1 point2 points ago

They're not much bigger than 2 meters...

[–]georgedubbya43 4 points5 points ago

[–]JustHavinAGoodTime -2 points-1 points ago

[–]thrilldigger 0 points1 point ago

Fuck you, reposting scum.

[–]smrtblkmn1 1 point2 points ago

It's going to have to be a precise hit to set off the chain reaction.

[–]brainsexual 0 points1 point ago

Use [the] force!

[–]Annagramer 11 points12 points ago

Your username rearranged is A Bonkers Nun.

[–]captainbastard 0 points1 point ago

A German ran.

[–]NoSubrannke 0 points1 point ago

You broke the code! Shhhh....

[–]GATTACABear 4 points5 points ago

Hey baby, let me park my centerpoint station between talus and tralus...

[–]Adamthemoon 1 point2 points ago

Girlfriend?

[–]chillorbechilled 2 points3 points ago

several, obviously

[–]Elkang 10 points11 points ago

Chad Roberts of the Richmond, VA Beard League. He travels, competes, and wins in the "freestyle full-beard" division. Solid beard.

[–]Reddywhipt 17 points18 points ago

I know that dude... 'sup, Chad?

Beer Beard

Eagle Beard

Ho Ho Ho

[–]UncleTwinkleToes 4 points5 points ago

This guy just became my hero.

[–]ApokalypseCow 24 points25 points ago

This is Red Leader, all wings report in...

[–]ClideLennon 51 points52 points ago

Red Octoba, shtanding by.

[–]rabidmonkeys 13 points14 points ago

One ping only.

[–]necrons_ftw 4 points5 points ago

Red beard standing by

[–]I_Post_Drunk 2 points3 points ago

FEBTOBAH.

[–]Breathing_Balls 28 points29 points ago

Red tube, standing erect.

[–]AOIM_CubanJ 6 points7 points ago

+1 for originality and not going with one of the Family Guy jokes.

[–]TheUngroundable 7 points8 points ago

"Big Red standing by."

[–]darkside17 7 points8 points ago

Red Fox standing by.

[–]AOIM_CubanJ 7 points8 points ago

Red 5 standing by.

[–]Breathing_Balls 11 points12 points ago

"Porkins, are you ready?"

Porkins: "I've got a problem here."

"Eject!"

Porkins: "I can hold it."

"Pull up!"

Porkins: "NO, I'm all ri-- Aah!"

kaboom

music swells

[–]tresbizarre 10 points11 points ago

They just had to name the fat guy Porkins.

[–]EntityDamage 3 points4 points ago

That was a clue to not let Lucas write. Jar jar....Younglings....Count DooDoo....it can go on forever.

[–]automated_bot 2 points3 points ago

TIL there are bullies in space.

[–]CeolMor 4 points5 points ago

Red Buttons standing by

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 5 points6 points ago

Simply Red, standing by.

[–]Sergnb 9 points10 points ago

reddit, standing by... as always

[–]logen99999 3 points4 points ago

Red Baron pizza standing by.

[–]TTtheFish 4 points5 points ago

Red Rocket, standing alert.

[–]Herpinderpitee 1 point2 points ago

Now where do you get off, buddy?

[–]cakedicks 1 point2 points ago

Red Forman, standing by, dumbass.

[–]jRadu 4 points5 points ago

Red Beard Alpha all systems are go

[–]GiJoeSamo 1 point2 points ago

Red Wings flowing by

[–]RojoDiablo 2 points3 points ago

Red Devil standing by.

[–]zeisan 3 points4 points ago

[–]alienbringer 2 points3 points ago

Red Hots deliciously standing by.

[–]BernzSed 1 point2 points ago

Rogue squadron, where's our cover?

[–]cridgey 1 point2 points ago

StarFox, standing by

[–]BernzSed 5 points6 points ago

R2, something's wrong with the G-diffuser, see if you can't lock it down.

[–]mackinoncougars 0 points1 point ago

look out Skippy, do a barrel roll!

[–]lordvinfamous 1 point2 points ago

skippy

ಠ_ಠ

[–]calmateguey 13 points14 points ago

My beard is an X-wing your argument is invalid.

[–]zimbobthedefiler 9 points10 points ago

S-foils in attack position!

[–]thesoppywanker 8 points9 points ago

Lock S-foils in attack position.

FTFY

[–]travisoliver2 5 points6 points ago

RVA Beard League for the win. www.beardleague.org

[–]Nova_01 2 points3 points ago

The gay seal: STILL NOT GAY ENOUGH!!!

[–]Skafia 2 points3 points ago

Hey, I know that guy. I was in a beard competition with him in March Check out page 5. Also brace for epic beards.Link.

[–]RetinaMisfire 2 points3 points ago

Virginity at maximum.

[–]unhappymagicplayer 2 points3 points ago

They told me I could become anything so I became an X-wing

[–]Blu3j4y 2 points3 points ago

Half of me wants to high-five that guy, and the other half of me wants to punch him.

I'm so confused.

[–]dashleyrva 2 points3 points ago

RVABeardLeague beardleague.org

[–]StewieBanana 6 points7 points ago

That X-wing's R2 unit is way too big.

[–]_R2-D2_ 9 points10 points ago

Hey, that wasn't nice.

[–]srd178 1 point2 points ago

TODAY IS YOUR DAY, SHINE ON

[–]Omnifi 1 point2 points ago

That's what she said.

[–]chickenherderWA 4 points5 points ago

Am I the only one that was confused and thought he was just a floating head?!

Blends right into the door like a ninja.

[–]Leejin 4 points5 points ago

That is the most ridiculous fucking thing I've ever seen... i can't stop laughing.. dear god.

[–]motang 10 points11 points ago

The virginity is strong in this one!

[–]0bsesshun 10 points11 points ago

[–]revjim 1 point2 points ago

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!?!?! Who mounted that guy's head on a door?!?!

[–]tehgreatist 1 point2 points ago

the cockpit really completes this

[–]Nightst0ne 1 point2 points ago

I have never seen its equal.

[–]notaplatypus 1 point2 points ago

i had to try too hard to see his body. thought he was a floating head before even looking at the beard

[–]seawest_lowlife 1 point2 points ago

Is this you? If so I would like to propose marriage. I have a Darth Vader costume ready to go for the nuptials.

[–]Reddywhipt 0 points1 point ago

He's already happily married. Though, I'm sure that if anyone did have a chance, someone offering to do the deed suited up as a Sith Lord would be a good bet.

[–]0mnificent 1 point2 points ago

He has a look on his face that says "I have been preparing for this moment my whole life".

[–]bryangrossman 1 point2 points ago

The force is strong with this one....

[–]the_scottish_thistle 1 point2 points ago

he looks like one of the happiest/proudest guy on the planet

[–]mykoconnor 0 points1 point ago

Doing something that he loves...yeah I'd be pretty happy too. He's a real solid dude too.

[–]fixiegypsy 1 point2 points ago

You should shave the millennium falcon into your chest hair.

[–]MauiWowieOwie 1 point2 points ago

Impressive.

Now do the Millennium Falcon.

[–]KidCasey 1 point2 points ago

I think you just beat reddit. You can't top that. Congratulations on your skill.

[–]horsebananas 1 point2 points ago

Thank you for being awesome!!!!

[–]jaxspider 2 points3 points ago

[–]trentshipp 1 point2 points ago

Lock S-Foils in attract position...ladies.

[–]RupertMurloc 2 points3 points ago

We can't repel hipsterness of this magnitude!

[–]TheMocoMan 1 point2 points ago

I know who you are.

[–]darkside17 1 point2 points ago

Go to Starbucks with that beard, wave your hand at the (probably hipster) barista and say "You will give me a free cake pop."

[–]countlazypenis 1 point2 points ago

Fuck me it's Rasputin reincarnate 0_0

[–]DrDragun 1 point2 points ago

s-whiskers in attack position, set your deflector bristles to double front

[–]PineappleBot 1 point2 points ago

Clicked picture to see X-wing bread. I was very disappointed to see a beard. ಠ_ಠ

[–]David35207 0 points1 point ago

So that explains where Old Ben's voice comes from when Luke is in the trench.

[–]Chase_75 0 points1 point ago

It looks like a spider!

[–]Tits_undercover 0 points1 point ago

Luke you switched off your targeting computer what's wrong?

Edit: nothing Wedge I'm alright

[–]yankee_bluejeans 0 points1 point ago

Lock beard into attack position.

[–]superatheist95 0 points1 point ago

is this OC, op?

[–]Butterspud 0 points1 point ago

I thought he rammed his head through the door.

[–]zelazny 0 points1 point ago

[–]sonia_bunny 0 points1 point ago

Pull up, Pull up! err... out!

[–]YaoSlap 0 points1 point ago

Follicles of the James?? I've met this guy before and he's really cool. Definitely not the hipster virgin everyone is claiming.

[–]Justice__Beaver 0 points1 point ago

It honestly looks like his head is just hanging on that door.

[–]Champie 0 points1 point ago

Is that the Fully Sick Rapper?

[–]mikerapin 0 points1 point ago

I think he should enter this into the Beard and Mustache Championship.

[–]canucksrule 0 points1 point ago

Red-iculous beard, standing by.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

This man is a champion.

[–]JackTheKing 0 points1 point ago

Beardo

[–]Mr_Ected 0 points1 point ago

It took me a minute to realize that this guy's head isn't sticking out of the door.

[–]GeorgeForemanGrillz 0 points1 point ago

[–]atheistoranathiest 0 points1 point ago

So that's what Mark Hammil has been doing with his life.

[–]rokuthirteen 0 points1 point ago

Red 5 O'clock Shadow?

[–]whitey-ofwgkta 0 points1 point ago

X-Beard Fighter

[–]Tabun[!] 0 points1 point ago

[–]KCbizzy 0 points1 point ago

This makes me uncomfortable

[–]SideburnedBard 0 points1 point ago

"Well, the Empire doesn't consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat."

[–]KCbizzy 0 points1 point ago

Stay on target. Stay on target.

[–]GesiBamba 0 points1 point ago

I feel a little stupid for saying this but anyone else think he looks like he doesn't have a torso?.. or at least his head isn't attached to the torso

[–]Sammyscrap 0 points1 point ago

Lock S-Curls in attack position!

[–]jiggle_the_handle 0 points1 point ago

was i the only one more focused on the fact that his head is hanging on a bedroom door?

[–]brokenboomerang 0 points1 point ago

I hate beards, but I'd do a guy with this.

[–]Lefty07 0 points1 point ago

he could be such an awesome cthulu.. or th octopus guy from pirates of the carribean

[–]freym 0 points1 point ago

i tried to up vote this twice

[–]wish_I_Had_A_Beard 0 points1 point ago

sigh

[–]LordOfGummies 0 points1 point ago

The force is strong with this.

[–]rchase5 0 points1 point ago

I love Star Wars, but that...that is gross.

[–]Slowbow -1 points0 points ago

strong in this one, the virginity is.

[–]Thatoneguyfromthewho 0 points1 point ago

Impressive...

[–]ManWithGoldenGun 0 points1 point ago

1000 upvotes for you. Best thing I've seen today

[–]sadee 0 points1 point ago

Virginity protected!

[–]franklinbrown 0 points1 point ago

If he wore an R2-D2 hat it would have looked like he's the droid in the back.

[–]imp3r10[!] 0 points1 point ago

if you look at this from afar it just appears to be a head on top of a door, no body

[–]A_Loki_In_Your_Mind 0 points1 point ago

Does his moustache turn into laser beams like the Mizune family from soul eater?

[–]swartz77 0 points1 point ago

Almost a mustache ride for Luke.

[–]cridgey 0 points1 point ago

Stay on target

[–]NotVerySmarts 0 points1 point ago

I didn't know Baron Munchausen had a socially awkward son.

[–]dsfgorg 0 points1 point ago

Have an up vote sir, I like your beard.

[–]shouldihaveaname -1 points0 points ago

Impressive..

[–]Hubso -2 points-1 points ago

....most impressive.

[–]newguy25 -1 points0 points ago

Stay on target!

[–]bentheo 2 points3 points ago

That is what was Gold 5 in Gold Squadron who said that, which we all know flew Y-Wings not X-Wings.

[–]Bagofshet -1 points0 points ago

This guy definitely needs to join "team beard USA"

[–]panteradactyl -1 points0 points ago

how did you put a shirt on?

[–]CeolMor -1 points0 points ago

I don't usually log in to upvote. But when I do it's totally worth it. Nice beard dude.

[–]wortime -1 points0 points ago

Hipster level: maxed Masturbation level: expert

[–]Esporoe -1 points0 points ago

yes

[–]Omnifi -2 points-1 points ago

My beard is an X-wing, your argument is invalid.

[–]pingspike -2 points-1 points ago

EEeeeeeeeppppiiiccccccc!

[–]TouringMedal2 -2 points-1 points ago

That is majestic

[–]majesticjg 0 points1 point ago

That is majestic

Looking for me?

[–]ryansc07 -2 points-1 points ago

This needs to be number one ASAP

[–]Furtherthanfurther -1 points0 points ago

Sam I the only one that thought his head was coming out through the door?

[–]hasteveil -1 points0 points ago

Luke, you've stopped shaving your beard. What's wrong?

[–]crazypnut -1 points0 points ago

Porkins would approve.

[–]294 -1 points0 points ago

Zero ok

[–]lilipanduhh -1 points0 points ago

I need to find this man and convince him to marry me #swoon

[–]Logocracy -1 points0 points ago

The eye contact... Oh god, the eye contact.

[–]tizralf -1 points0 points ago

You sir are a Master Jedi. May the force be with you. I hope this is OC.

[–]9sided -2 points-1 points ago

I'm finding myself strangely attracted to that man.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

Beards don't need Star Wars to be awesome.

[–]Capt_Poopie_Pants -2 points-1 points ago

Rebel scum

[–]cokecain_bear -2 points-1 points ago

george?

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

Why didn't you title this "Job"?

Oh.

[–]Zardoz666 -3 points-2 points ago

Hipster level: Red 5

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

Sir – please surrender your beard to a man who will show it the proper respect.

[–]MrHaggis -5 points-4 points ago

Fucking hipsters.

[–]mykoconnor 3 points4 points ago

This is always the comment I see whenever there are pictures of bearded dudes. I did an IMA awhile back and the comment "fucking hipster" was appeared quite a few times.

First off, you don't know this guy. And what exactly is he doing that is "hipster"?

[–]lol_squared -1 points0 points ago

And what exactly is he doing that is "hipster"?

He's cooler than the GP.

[–]MrHaggis -2 points-1 points ago

If that's what you think "cool" is - you're right.