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How I put parmesan on my food when I'm at home away from the judgmental eyes of the wait staff. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by [deleted]

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[–]praxe 43 points44 points ago

At Olive Garden: "How much cheese can I get without you judging me?"

[–]picardythird 12 points13 points ago

"Until the cheese runs out or your arm gets tired."

[–]i_go_to_uri 1 point2 points ago

"Until the cheese runs out or my arm gets tired." FTFY

[–]feureau 7 points8 points ago

At Pizza Hut: I once ordered a plain cheese pizza with extra double topping of cheese and extra parmesan.

The girl taking that order had to confirm the order twice.

The next time I went there, I had my sister order that pizza for me.

[–]Marsftw 0 points1 point ago

...did they deliver on your lofty demand? Whenever I order extra cheese I always wonder if they actually bother.

[–]feureau 2 points3 points ago

They fucking deliver, and hell, the cheese was twice thicker than the pie.

[–]fireorgan 0 points1 point ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]mandiexile 1 point2 points ago

I'll just give you the cheese shredder to keep at your table. You gotta tip me 20% though.

[–]assfrog 1 point2 points ago

I ask to keep the grater at the table

[–]katielady125 0 points1 point ago

My friend's dad would play "cheese chicken" with the waiters there. The goal was to see if the waiter would stop with the cheese first before he decided the dish would be inedible if he didn't say "when".

[–]Bllewsader 12 points13 points ago

As a waiter I just find it amusing when you make a 4" pile of cheese or pepper on your food. Im just required to be professional and not giggle. Grate on, i say.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]rakantae 1 point2 points ago

Why not both?

[–]youRFate 24 points25 points ago

I actually love it when spaghetti are so soaked in parmesan that the cheese pulls strings when eating them.

[–]ChesterAaaeeyyArthur 5 points6 points ago

But for every person like you, there is one like me that just wants a little bit to add some flavor.

And I'm not a waiter or scientist, but I believe it's easier to add the the cheese in incremental amounts until the customer says stop, than it is to dump on the whole block of cheese and try to scrape off the excess.

[–]youRFate 0 points1 point ago

sure, usually the guest adds the parmesan to his gusto.

[–]mandiexile 0 points1 point ago

At least you don't put ranch on your spaghetti with tomato sauce. I had a customer who did this and did everything in my power not to vom all over it.

[–]youRFate 0 points1 point ago

nope, ragù alla bolognese with beef, add some basil right as it's done. Then grind a ton of aged parmigiano reggiano over it.

[–]Dr_Winston_O_Boogie 13 points14 points ago

A scene from the classic Steve Martin film "Dead Men Don't Eat Parmesan."

[–]laika57 3 points4 points ago

You could use a cup of my famous java.

[–]hemperor 7 points8 points ago

That scene is actually longer than this gif.

[–]milesunderground 2 points3 points ago

I only came in here to say this. That scene actually creeps me out a little bit.

[–]expressadmin 1 point2 points ago

It was also completely ad-lib'ed. Steve made it up while filming.

[–]_wordsmiff 10 points11 points ago

Fuckin' judgmental wait staff.

Don't you dare stop cranking that cheese grater.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]TekAzurik 6 points7 points ago

This is my life every time I get pasta somewhere

[–]Dantai 3 points4 points ago

Waiter: Would you like some parmesan? Me: Yes please :) grate grate grate Waiter: How's that? Me: A bit more please? grate grate grate Waiter:? Me: Listen, just give me that thing!

[–]strikervulsine 2 points3 points ago

You should just ask them to leave the grater.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Sykoticstalker27 1 point2 points ago

Speaking as waitress at an Italian restaurant, just say upfront that you want a whole lot cheese, and I'll grate 'til my arms fall off.

[–]dg10050 -1 points0 points ago

Grate, thanks...

[–]Wake_Up_Crono 7 points8 points ago

I probably go through a whole bottle of parmesan within 3 spaghetti dinners. I HAVE to have it on every morsel.

[–]appletart 1 point2 points ago

Parmesan comes in bottles? I have a small section in the front of my fridge in which the parmesan lives, nothing beats freshly grated!

[–]somnolent49 2 points3 points ago

There's stuff that comes prepackaged in a sort of weird powdered form. It's usually 2-3 times as cheap as proper parmesan, and at least for my own palette is nearly indistinguishable from simply dumping salt on my pasta.

[–]appletart 0 points1 point ago

I just looked into what powdered parmesan was, I don't want to sound like a food-snob but that stuff is just wrong. I mean, it may be fine as a seasoning but if people eat it thinking it's parmesan then it's really a shame.

[–]tip120 1 point2 points ago

It's an unfortunate result of the laws surrounding real Parmesan. In English, Parmesan refers to both the cheap powdered stuff as well as Parmigiano, which is the real deal. Only true Parmigiano can be labelled as such, but since the name is often translated anyway, what you see in the store as Parmesan may not necessarily have ever been real cheese.

[–]appletart 1 point2 points ago

So, in the US, parmesan is the grape drink of cheese?

[–]senatorkratovil 0 points1 point ago

You can get a real block of parmigiano reggiano in the US with relative ease, however the word Parmesan is used to describe both.

They're not hard to tell apart this vs this vacuum sealed in plastic. The only confusion is in conversation. When I say Parmsean I mean fresh grated and when only people say it they might mean kraft parmesan powder.

[–]sirsiq 0 points1 point ago

So when it says "100% real grated Parmesan" right on the Kraft pack, they're lying?

[–]Wake_Up_Crono 0 points1 point ago

Yeah it comes grated in plastic shaker bottles. It's the powder form I'm speaking of, not the fresh grated.

[–]appletart 0 points1 point ago

Ah, I suppose over in the sates they do some pretty decent pre-grated stuff. Years ago when working as a chef there were very few dishes I wouldn't sneak some parmesan into - it's a wonderful ingredient which enhances any dish with a unique savouriness.

[–]a3headedmonkey 0 points1 point ago

Because it's full if MSG. No, that's not a joke.

[–]EasyReader 0 points1 point ago

No, parmesan flavored cheese food comes in bottles.

[–]Nivomi 0 points1 point ago

I buy a 2KG bag of Parmesan from Costco every month. Sometimes it's not enough.

Then again, I do put it on almost everything I eat.

[–]newtt 1 point2 points ago

That's where I get mine too, but damn! Switch to Romano! It is vastly superior.

[–]prowl_pants 7 points8 points ago

If you like parmesan, try pecorino romano.

[–]ThisIsTinaL 1 point2 points ago

I too would recommend switching to Romano. If you like binge eating Parmesan, you're gonna love slamming down Pecorino Romano.

[–]Rhendal 2 points3 points ago

Source.

[–]themirthfulswami 2 points3 points ago

... cleaning woman..... cleaning woman?? .... CLEANING WOMAN!!

[–]unrectifiable 2 points3 points ago

The only downside is that dried parmesan is a bitch to wash off when doing dishes.

[–]greenash4 3 points4 points ago

That's why you rinse dishes as soon as you put them in the sink. Makes washing them a lot easier...

[–]ResoL101 -2 points-1 points ago

This.

[–]dearthed 2 points3 points ago

I used to work at an Italian restaurant, an independent one that was moderately fancy.

We were told to only get cheese if the customer requested it because the cheese was more or less flavored salt and the food didn't really need it.

[–]bananamunchies 1 point2 points ago

I just ask them for a small plate of parm; less awkward and more successful.

[–]pong123 1 point2 points ago

Just give me the damn Parmesan. I'll do it myself..

[–]CommunistMuffin 1 point2 points ago

Ahhhhh Gene!!!!!!

[–]MacMan25 1 point2 points ago

Thank you for posting a Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid reference, I am eternally grateful and can now die a happy man.

[–]elperroborrachotoo 1 point2 points ago

Full Scene

[–]Expects 1 point2 points ago

My seven year old licked the top on the parmesan cheese shaker at pizza hut.

[–]townshend445 1 point2 points ago

In Italy: Eating at the hotel restaurant, and the owner comes over SCREAMING IN ITALIAN AND BROKEN ENGLISH how some girl is ruining her food. The girl spoke in a fake Italian accent for the whole week for no reason, and that didn't help much.

[–]spaaaaaghetaboutit 3 points4 points ago

I unscrew that bitch right in front of them. Let 'em hate.

[–]ViolentOctopus 0 points1 point ago

Why won't people post in the proper subreddit?

[–]Strifeee 0 points1 point ago

FUCK YOU PARMESAN HATER

[–]jakoshako 0 points1 point ago

I do that any and every where.

[–]ooowl 0 points1 point ago

I use up half the container of parm when they give me one at a restaurant. And when it's a "fancier" place where they have to grate it for you, I hang my head in shame after like 4 measly turns of the grater. I usually eat three bites of pasta then take the rest home to dump cheese on later, where no one can see me.

[–]Zombeestylee 0 points1 point ago

Payamas!

[–]PalliMoon 0 points1 point ago

If you keep staring for 3 hours you will actually see the bag emptying. But directly after that the gif loops, so you have to pay attention.

[–]rustifer 0 points1 point ago

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid-- a fine movie with Steve Martin, 10/10, would watch again.

[–]Leoric[!] 0 points1 point ago

I do this with garlic salt, too.

[–]peepholecircus 0 points1 point ago

CLEANING WOMAN!?

[–]lovehate615 0 points1 point ago

Welp, off to make spaghetti now.

[–]corrino2000 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.

[–]EggbroHam 0 points1 point ago

Oh man. Its good as a GIF but the actual scene is so much better. Oh steve martin! unjump the shark, please.

[–]im_new_to_reddit 0 points1 point ago

"Your breasts were all outta wack."

[–]Quicksdraw 0 points1 point ago

"You know how to dial a phone, don't you?
You just put your finger in the hole and make little circles."

[–]rberg89 0 points1 point ago

they aren't judgmental, you're just strangely insecure.

[–]cbourff 0 points1 point ago

I'm a waiter. We hate you for eating the cheese because we have to refill it.

[–]ELDERPE 0 points1 point ago

Watch out, you can make your food dry. as. fuck.

[–]HustlerThug 0 points1 point ago

Ey yo, I work at a restaurant and trust me, the people really don't give a shit about that kind of shit. The only reason why they'll go talk about you with their co-workers is if you complained about something dumb or didn't tip enough.

[–]Yellowbenzene 0 points1 point ago

Yes it does http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butyric_acid

[–]M0b1u5 0 points1 point ago

That's OK, one day you'll learn about food and stop doing stupid crap like that.

[–]scrolanky 0 points1 point ago

Tom?

[–]Jcomp -4 points-3 points ago

Thats how I pour weed into my blunts

[–]carrier_wave 2 points3 points ago

OMG BaDaSs!!

[–]Jcomp 0 points1 point ago

also how much sand you probably have in your vag

[–]molson8dry -1 points0 points ago

ahh got to love stinky cheese

[–]MLGrenegade -1 points0 points ago

Good luck pooping later

[–]Strifeee -1 points0 points ago

Bro-fist

[–]gome1122 -1 points0 points ago

HE NEVER BLINKS lol just thought id say even though it is a GIF

[–]Yellowbenzene -5 points-4 points ago

Parmesan smells like vomit. It's absolutely disgusting.

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