all 173 comments

[–]keepsitsafe 120 points121 points ago

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Another classic from him http://i.imgur.com/T8mPJ.png

[–]NotaMethAddict 25 points26 points ago

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Dat aesthetically pleasing text.

[–]oshen 8 points9 points ago

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Or they like you enough to save you some dough.

[–]GhostGuy 6 points7 points ago

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Not sure why this is getting downvoted. It's a nice thing to do. If you know you're not interested in someone, there's no reason to lead them on and make them spend money on you.

Edit: I jumped the gun, he was at -3 when I posted this. Carry on.

[–]barrel_of_sharks 1 point2 points ago

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I agree. I also know that from my experience if I let someone pay for something of mine, I feel that I owe them something. That or I'll just feel like a tool for only agreeing to go out with them for a free meal and not because I am actually interested.

[–]Mortarius -2 points-1 points ago

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White text, black border. It's not hard and my cornea won't detach.

[–]Brentyfresh 18 points19 points ago

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What the tradition-conscious world really needs is more yurts!

[–]discontinuuity 11 points12 points ago

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That looks like a permanent house. This is a yurt.

[–]Drawtaru 4 points5 points ago

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I want that.

[–]SailingSeasofRum 1 point2 points ago

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Make one. They aren't that difficult.

There are some disadvantages to camping in one though.

All that extra space means you cannot rely on body temperature to help keep the tent warm. This isn't a big deal, most people buy tents that are too big anyway and they aren't known for their insulation qualities. You will probably want to light a fire inside the yurt though and that is not only extremely dangerous, it is a great way to fill your tent with smoke. Some people use custom chimneys to mitigate the latter. Also, while it is technically portable, it is a lot of lumber and accessories to cart around. This is especially true if you want to fill it with amenities, like a stove, chimney, floor, and bed. With the amount of stuff some people haul around, a small camper/caravan starts to seem like a logical replacement.

So if you like to camp for a few weeks at a time, go for it.

[–]WilmaDickfit 5 points6 points ago

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That roof is mesmerizing

[–]ParkdaleBatavus 3 points4 points ago

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I love this!!

[–]AduroNox 1 point2 points ago

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That is pretty as fuck. How do you make a roof like that stable?

[–]dsethlewis -2 points-1 points ago

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I hate a good yurt.

[–]admiral_snugglebutt 18 points19 points ago

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I just wanted to comment on this so that not all of my recent posts are about buttsex.

[–]miekstro_v2 6 points7 points ago

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Your username is "admiral_snugglebutt". Talking about buttsex on Reddit is your destiny.

You can't escape your destiny...

[–]sluttymcbuttsex 6 points7 points ago

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All my comments are about buttsex... or baseball.

[–]huntindawg 175 points176 points ago

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raise your hand if you read that in his "special" voice

[–]myhandsarebananas 87 points88 points ago

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I love when he does that to represent what someone in the audience with no sense of humor would be thinking.

[–]varemia 57 points58 points ago

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Does he think that joke is funny? That's not funny!

[–]poignard 28 points29 points ago

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Why does he keep talking about cake?

[–]bsonk 25 points26 points ago

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That's the fattest crackhead I've ever seen!

[–]larpas 14 points15 points ago

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I didn't think that but now I do!

[–]Killer_Killa_Tequila 6 points7 points ago

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More bacon jokes?

[–]Millertyme2069 4 points5 points ago

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This man must really like bacon.

[–]vgman20 5 points6 points ago

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I didn't realize these jokes were going to be so EDGY

[–]dekenfrost 5 points6 points ago

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I didn't come here to be SHOCKED into laughter!

[–]IronOxide42 26 points27 points ago

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That voice was actually inspired by his sister's reaction to his jokes when he first started stand-up.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 2 points3 points ago

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What if a fish was in the audience? It can happen buddy. Lake Michigan's right there.

[–]runs-with-scissors 37 points38 points ago

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He's a nature hater. I don't like that.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points ago

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Hey buddy, I like the IHOP!

[–]IkananXIII 24 points25 points ago

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If you don't like it, you don't have to go there.

[–]burgerga 4 points5 points ago

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Only because I've seen this about 50 times

[–]EetzRusheen 20 points21 points ago

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Odd, the reason why I didn't read it in his special voice is because I remember his standup decently well. He didn't use the special voice for the joke. He only uses the special voice as the reaction / the audience monologue, not in his actual joke.

Btw, I used the bold font, so the people skimming can read that emphasized part; not trying to be dickish.

[–]burgerga 1 point2 points ago

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The "'til we invented the house" part is kind of his special voice. That's what I meant. I'm drunk.

I was just saying I heard it exactly how he says it since I've seen it so much.

[–]gfixler 7 points8 points ago

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I couldn't. My Asperger's was making me instead notice that where both of the words that required apostrophes didn't have them, the one word that did have one to indicate a shortened form is not a shortened form, predating its longer cousin by roughly 400 years.

[–]IronOxide42 1 point2 points ago

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...I commend you for this, sir.

[–]Nightfalls 7 points8 points ago

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I'll do one better, I'll raise your karma.

[–]McNally_52 1 point2 points ago

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I read that in Stan's voice from American Dad for some reason but it was kinda cool, I guess

[–]thedinnerdate 1 point2 points ago

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In the actual stand up he just says it in his "factual" voice. So I guess that's how I read it.

I'll just see my self out...

[–]Atario 1 point2 points ago

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No, I didn't. Because it doesn't fit the character.

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 53 points54 points ago

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[–]FarmerTedd 7 points8 points ago

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[–]TheOneInTheHat 24 points25 points ago

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Does no one here really like camping? You need to get out there and enjoy what we have in nature

[–]hjf11393 19 points20 points ago

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People on the internet don't like being places without the internet though.

[–]BeneathAnIronSky 1 point2 points ago

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Too right.

[–]ObeyGiant29 13 points14 points ago

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Camping is the shit

[–]rexwidger 6 points7 points ago

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*Camping is shit

[–]ObeyGiant29 -1 points0 points ago

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Where do you usually go camping? Shitsville National Park?

There's your problem right there.

Nothing beats sleeping beside Jawbone falls in Panthertown Valley and using a PBR Tallboy can to boil water for your french press the next morning. Try it sometime guy!

[–]zoomzoomz 8 points9 points ago

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I love taking long hikes, sitting by the lake, and cooking over a campfire. I also love a nice shower, air conditioning and a comfy bed. Camping? I prefer "Cabining".

[–]Iron_Maiden_666 2 points3 points ago

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Camping is awesome.

[–]1CUpboat 2 points3 points ago

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Hey you wanna burn a couple of vacation days sleeping on the ground outside?What if I told you you get to crap standing up in the woods? You'll wake up freezing covered in a rash!

[–]goddessofwaterpolo 0 points1 point ago

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Okay I'll go.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BeneathAnIronSky -1 points0 points ago

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"This month I think I'll pay rent for my house, and then also pay rent for a little bit of a forest for a few days. That's a good idea."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You are thinking about Car Camping on a private lot. Camping is free as long as you're not adverse to some walking (See: Backpacking)

Edit: usually free

[–]JoinRedditTheySaid 0 points1 point ago

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That, and it's a good excuse to go out and be lazy, smoke weed and drink.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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There are other excuses for that. If you wanna do drugs there's no need to be outside.

[–]Juantanamo5982 -3 points-2 points ago

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I never liked camping with my family. All they do is sit around and drink beer.

[–]JoinRedditTheySaid 1 point2 points ago

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... exactly.

[–]dontlemmedown 35 points36 points ago

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Whenever we talk about camping, we always use wildlife as a selling point. Does that work for anything else? "Well it's a beautiful golf course with a nice ocean view, and if you look at the 18th hole there's a pack of wolves!"

That's my favorite Jim Gaffigan line. I butched it a bit but you get the idea.

[–]Sethkins[S,!] 66 points67 points ago

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Jim gaffigans the best. Clean comedy is rare! Him and brian regan are my favorites

[–]dontlemmedown 52 points53 points ago

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GOOD clean comedy is rare. But I completely agree with Jim and Brian. They're a rare, rare breed.

[–]Sethkins[S,!] 24 points25 points ago

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Seinfeld is good too. So is cosby

[–]alage21 9 points10 points ago

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Katt Williams is a good clean comedy too.. Check it out.

[–]Viking_Lordbeast 8 points9 points ago

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Him and Doug Stanhope. You can't get any more family friendly.

[–]HotCrockets 2 points3 points ago

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Add some Henry Cho to that list. Too bad it's rare to find his stuff on TV, and even harder to buy...

[–]TheLastGuitarHero 6 points7 points ago

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"I'm just saying that's my sheeiite."

[–]SmurfRockRune 1 point2 points ago

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Whatever happened to them? I haven't seen them in a while.

[–]prose-before-hoes 2 points3 points ago

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He's not entirely clean, I've heard him swear and make pot jokes in some of his stuff.

[–]_Goose_ 2 points3 points ago

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Always loved Jim and Brian but Mike Birbiglia is always my favorite go to for clean comedy.

[–]thatnoblekid 1 point2 points ago

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You might want to try Adam Hills, especially his show Characterful. I discovered him after Brian and Jim.

[–]poopsnoop 3 points4 points ago

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But that joke's ironic, since wildlife is most definitely used as a selling point for golf courses. People love seeing birds and ducks and deer and foxes and such when golfing. Doesn't anyone remember SimGolf?

[–]Coziestpigeon2 4 points5 points ago

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Camping's**

[–]TheSafeWordIsWhiskey 8 points9 points ago

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i bet he's a happy camper

[–]Sethkins[S,!] 8 points9 points ago

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Funny you said that because later he talks about how the only "happy camper" is the guy leaving the campsite

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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So long, suckers!

[–]mike45010 10 points11 points ago

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he's the happiest camper.

[–]1CUpboat 1 point2 points ago

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*we came up with the house

I needed to correct you on that. It bugged me.

[–]Sethkins[S,!] -2 points-1 points ago

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Correct Jim gaffigan not me

[–]1CUpboat 1 point2 points ago

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I am correcting you, that's what he said.

[–]CoffeeXBlack 19 points20 points ago

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My parents never took me camping, cause my parents loved me

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]hjf11393 4 points5 points ago

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It's another Gaffigan quote.

[–]SC0TT1337 8 points9 points ago

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If you ever get the chance to see him live, do it. He is a freaking comedic genius.

[–]Sethkins[S,!] -2 points-1 points ago

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Almost did in boston

[–]Schwarzwind 4 points5 points ago

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but.. I like camping so much.

[–]armies-o-noobs 1 point2 points ago

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Which of his specials is this?

[–]dontlemmedown 4 points5 points ago

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Well the album was King Baby. I'm not sure if the specials and the comedy albums are synchronized, but I heard this joke from there.

[–]CaptnGrumbles 4 points5 points ago

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They are from the same performance, though King Baby was edited down on TV so the album does have more material.

[–]armies-o-noobs 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks guys

[–]nelska 1 point2 points ago

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Happy Thanksgiving. we put a joke in a joke so you can laugh while you laugh. His wife must be of native american descent.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]nelska 3 points4 points ago

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And for fair game, "hootttt poccckkettts."

[–]Viking_Lordbeast 1 point2 points ago

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I keep forgetting that if I want karma so bad, all I have to do is take a picture of a comedian put one of their jokes on it, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

[–]waflitis 1 point2 points ago

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I love his special mr. Universe! "Having a fourth child... Imagine this: You're drowning... and someone hands you a baby." I love him so much.

[–]Darth2132 1 point2 points ago

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I love Jim gaffigan. He is one of the best comedians today.

[–]kennyswag 1 point2 points ago

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I might have thought it was funny if it used apostrophes...

[–]Nightfalls 3 points4 points ago

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Y'know, I like Gaffigan, but I just can't handle more than about 10 minutes of his act. The voices just tend to get a bit tedious to me.

[–]tnova 3 points4 points ago

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He definitely overdoes the "audience" voice, but all in all I think he's funny

[–]Nightfalls -1 points0 points ago

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Agreed, it's just that the "audience" voice get to me too easily. I've watched on of his specials all the way through, but I just can't do another one.

[–]hjf11393 1 point2 points ago

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I like his audience voice when it is angry at him like "Hey buddy, I like the IHOP" but when he is just doing the sing-song monotone it can get a bit tedious I guess.

I noticed Adam from Workaholics doing stand up and he used a similar approach, although Gaffigan's was still funnier.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I just dont find him funny. I dont know why, and I know I should, but I just dont.

[–]JoinRedditTheySaid 2 points3 points ago

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His humor is based around complaining/whining too much for me to enjoy it.

Also yeah, the voices.

I've seen older acts of his that are quite different that I enjoyed more.

[–]Nightfalls 2 points3 points ago

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You're in a better position than me. I don't find Reddit's favorite comedian all that funny, to be honest.

I await my hundreds of downvotes for saying I don't particularly care for Louis C.K.

[–]newtothelyte 0 points1 point ago

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Is camping purely an American thing? Or is it across many cultures.

[–]wemblinger 14 points15 points ago

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Germans were big on it in the 40's.

[–]FearTheStache13 4 points5 points ago

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for the jews..

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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... and the gypsies, poles, communists, slavs, homosexuals, mentally-challenged, etc...

[–]Osiris32 2 points3 points ago

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We camp a lot. But we also have more than enough space set aside for such ventures. As I understand it, Europe doesn't have the vast tracts of unspoiled land within which to camp.

And camping is awesome.

[–]Accipiter1138 2 points3 points ago

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Also, our national and state parks kick ass.

You have some nice things, Europe, but our parks are awesome.

Except for the motorhomes.

[–]Osiris32 1 point2 points ago

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Crater Lake. So worth it.

[–]SirRuto 1 point2 points ago

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There is a lot of wilderness in the U.S. Most of what you see on the map is uninhabited. I could drive for 20 miles down a highway on the west coast and not see anything but trees.

[–]Lord-Longbottom 0 points1 point ago

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(For us English aristocrats, I leave you this 20 miles -> 160.0 Furlongs) - Pip pip cheerio chaps!

[–]SirRuto 0 points1 point ago

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Well, makes the distance sound longer. Thank you, my comically stereotypically British friend!

[–]SailingSeasofRum 0 points1 point ago

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Europeans camp. They also use RVs/caravans and backpack/hike.

It is a fun experience.

[–]spartan4333 0 points1 point ago

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I like his take on life.

[–]Johnnyok 0 points1 point ago

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I didnt know he was going a special on bears

[–]NotaClipaMagazine 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, but camping is so much more... intents

[–]benp80 0 points1 point ago

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Somebody was listening to KBCO

[–]chicagoman04 0 points1 point ago

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Or you can just say fuck camping

[–]BackInOmNomNam 0 points1 point ago

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This dude is one of my good friend's uncle. He is from my town.

Funny guy.

[–]kirkoswald 0 points1 point ago

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wow a guy whose wife likes camping but he doesnt.... strange times

[–]Katiebug99 0 points1 point ago

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a hammoc is just a giant net for cetching lazy people

[–]lockdown6435 0 points1 point ago

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"If it's so nice out, why are all the bugs trying to get inside?" (Or something along those lines).

[–]AdmiralSkippy 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of Tim Nutt on camping.

His camping bit starts at 2:16 for those that want to skip right to it. But the first two minutes are equally hilarious.

[–]Bdelpr 0 points1 point ago

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My familia would go camping at the beaches of PR. I love camping by the beach.

[–]Amazingkai 0 points1 point ago

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[–]immahorst 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't that the chef from That 70's Show?

[–]DeadlyJizzAttack 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, Jim was in the 70s show

[–]Honorship 0 points1 point ago

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Camping's*

[–]stash0606 0 points1 point ago

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funniest/most logical/most original thing I've read in a while.

[–]Monkop 0 points1 point ago

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Camping's*

[–]gregorypeckerbreath 0 points1 point ago

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Should be 'til.

[–]charden_sama 0 points1 point ago

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"It'll get you closer to nature!" "I like to keep the relationship professional."

[–]Sheparo 0 points1 point ago

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Camping's*

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Was expecting zach galifianakis.

[–]IsThatYourPurse 0 points1 point ago

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Love him for being Korean!

[–]Pookies27 0 points1 point ago

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I've always liked this camping quote.

“If you get lost in the woods, fuck it, build a house. ‘I was lost but now I live here. I have severely improved my predicament!’ ” -mh

[–]Hollyw0od 0 points1 point ago

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RIP Mitch.

[–]gmplague 0 points1 point ago

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I'm what you call "indoorsy."

[–]bangonthedrums 0 points1 point ago

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Apostrophes, motherfucker, can you use them?

[–]I_am_not_angry 1 point2 points ago

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My wife was the same way, so last year I purchased an RV so I could take a house with me camping.

[–]dashbrad 5 points6 points ago

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Oh yeah, that's what I forgot - my house

[–]Wiffernubbin 6 points7 points ago

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Should've just gotten a divorce.

[–]Almirith 3 points4 points ago

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RV would probably be cheaper.

[–]I_am_not_angry 0 points1 point ago

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Yes it is.

[–]MizzElissa 0 points1 point ago

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He's my favorite comedian right next to Brian Regan and John Pinette

[–]AgentVanillaGorilla 0 points1 point ago

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From his new stand up special "Mr. Universe." It's on Netflix instant streaming, I highly recommend viewing.

[–]thejackash 0 points1 point ago

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Gaffigan is great. He literally has a great joke for just about every point in an average persons life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It's "'til", not "'till". "Until" is spelled with a single ell. This makes it look like he's talking about using tillers on boats to build houses, which makes no fucking sense.

[–]tolkappiyam 0 points1 point ago

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Well, it should be either "till" or "until." "'til" (with an apostrophe) is a rather archaic spelling; "till" (with no apostrophe) is now entirely standard.

[–]foolsmagools 0 points1 point ago

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Jim gaffigan, jerry seinfield, bo burnham, patton oswalt, ellen degeneres , mitch hedburg, louis c.k. Natasa leggero are all on my pandora

[–]fonseck -1 points0 points ago

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Camping's.

[–]Mitz510 -2 points-1 points ago

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It's nice to see a change from all those shitty Louis CK reposts.

Have you guys heard his joke about Mexican food? I'm Mexican and I didn't notice it till he said it.

[–]Spiro_Agnew -1 points0 points ago

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Actually, the first houses were built in Mesopotamia, and it's likely that everyone in the world is related to these first house builders.

[–]_cubfan_ -1 points0 points ago

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I like to say, "People should go camping once a year, to remind themselves why they go camping once a year."

[–]crank1000 -1 points0 points ago

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And then he proceeded to say "Hot Pockets" for the next 3 hours straight. Man is he funny.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]rexwidger 0 points1 point ago

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This makes me wish I didn't enjoy your post.