That is exactly how it is...

oa5is · 2 months

Here's a true story of someone using a doritos bag as a condom, written by a doctor. Not really related to the post, but funny as fuck.

An obese young woman came into our Emergency Department and said that her vagina didn’t feel normal and she wanted it checked out. No real pain, no bleeding, just a certain “fucked-up feeling” that had been bothering her for a few days.

Peering into (not at) the vagina of an obese person can be a bit tough, but eventually an inspection revealed a crinkled, shiny wad waaay up there. My colleague removed it, then unrolled it to reveal a snack-size Doritos bag (original style, with a few strands of cheddar-based mucus clinging to it). When confronted with the evidence, the patient giggled and claimed she suddenly remembered a drunken fuck with her boyfriend where no condoms were available, so he grabbed the nearest snack wrapper at hand and went for it. Not exactly a James Bond kind of move. The bag apparently slipped off his cock after a few strokes and got pounded into a compact mass during the sex, subsequently drenched by his ejaculate and marinated in her own secretions and soothing Dorito oils. Afterwards they passed out and forgot the whole thing, until the aforementioned fucked-up feeling brought her to us.

Amazingly, the sharp plastic crease on the bag didn’t seem to cause any noticeable laceration or injury, though superficial vaginal abrasions heal pretty fast, and it had been a few days.

I would like to say that the patient later gave birth to a baby girl covered with orange powdered cheese, but the truth is she never returned.

http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/that_dorito_bag_condom

AlphaRedditor · 2 months

Brain: Don't forget to chew.

Stomach: There's no time, no time!

mm-yes-quite · 2 months

it's right fucking awkward when someone walks in on me when I'm eating like that.

Crazium · 2 months

Sober | Not Sober

CrazyJoe91 · 2 months

I just realized I pay no attention to how I eat when in public. I might be a complete slob

niamhish · 2 months

I want Doritos.

resistingsimplicity · 2 months

This is why I love Tyler Oakley.

PhiladelphiaIrish · 2 months

That young man just lacerated his cheek lining.

TheGaydar · 2 months

beep...beep...beep...

girlwhodidyourhair · 2 months

He is just so damn pretty.

blobok123 · 2 months

My repost senses are tingling.

Seafoam_Tide · 2 months

But I do that in public, too.

Ordal · 2 months

How's your fake dead brother bro?

red_arrow_blue_arrow · 2 months

Upvote for cool ranch

rramosbaez · 2 months

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36O45vRCF2Q

InteruptingKanyeWest · 2 months

Yo Cool Ranch, you're delicious and Imma let you finish, but Zesty Cheese is the best Dorito flavour of all time. OF ALL TIME!

syscofresh · 2 months

Nah, I usually eat everything one at a time and in a quiet manner, even when alone.

hannahwartooth · 2 months

I will find this man, and I will make him my bride.

boobsmcgraw · 2 months

Sigh this guy is hot.

0bsesshun · 2 months

"Betcha just can't eat one---at a time."

Ellykins · 2 months

I love Tyler, haha. I watched this video when he first posted it. He's hilarious.

mikeehawk · 2 months

Why does he look like he's in Foreman's basement from that 70s show?

sqazm · 2 months

Same thing goes or popcorn.

Sandbox47 · 2 months

The world is my loo, so yeah that's kinda true.

midnightbean · 2 months

Except not so feminine in public.

Todomanna · 2 months

I usually only cram one chip at a time in my face hole, but my face hole is pretty big.

[deleted] · 2 months

Maybe I'm not socially awkward enough to be a Redditor, since as far as I am concerned it is of nobody else's concern how I eat.

katchison02 · 2 months

I don't get people that do this, I mean I can't be the only one who understands that you get the same amount of taste with a smaller bite and but because you take your time it lasts longer.

strawberrybetty · 2 months

the at home version is how I eat doritoes all the time...

DorkKnight27 · 2 months

Hobo Std

David_Kelley · 2 months

http://memegenerator.net/instance/9129736?urlName=Zoidberg&browsingOrder=Popular&browsingTimeSpan=AllTime

magtees · 2 months

Only on reedit will you go from eating Doritos to anal bead with mucus, jellybeans and puss, and obese woman having cheddar based mucus. :)

heylookitsmykel · 2 months

That's how it should be. Have discretion when you're eating in public, and be polite. At home, in your own privacy, do whatever however the hell you want!

Colormefun · 2 months

Why use hands when you can just funnel the chips to your mouth from the bag? Although I do quite enjoy sucking the flavor specs off of my fingers after eating.

Vouk73 · 2 months

Using your hands? Please... I just let it fall into my gaping maw.

alec5014 · 2 months

only eat like that when im high

Straya_Kat · 2 months

I find this easy to masturbate to.

fr00bl3t · 2 months

So you become possibly gay in public?

shugr2th · 2 months

Only if you're a pretty deeply rooted beta.

Pee straight into the water, my friends. Make your dominance of the toilet known to all.

anna57272 · 2 months

It's true.

[deleted] · 2 months

That is an attractive man

David_Kelley · 2 months

Repost.

runtyrobot · 2 months

Zack Braffs cousin?

Khue · 2 months

You know what, this is a repost but I'm fucking up voting the shit out of you because you didn't use gifbin. Good on you.

CanadianGirl420 · 2 months

repostttt

breatherevenge · 2 months

How does this make it to the front page everytime it's posted? I've seen this at least 5 times on Reddit.

MustStopMasturbating · 2 months

I'm sure glad that guy isn't a certain morbidly obese old lady with an eating disorder, or else I'll be horrified.

monister4815 · 2 months

just when I was starting to lose my faith in Reddit; you made me laugh out loud!

bink180too · 2 months

aw fuck Tyler Oakley

PieRevelry · 2 months

Oh, Tyler.

Nebraska_Actually · 2 months

The creation of that gif was not worth the cost of Doritos^TM sacrificed.

On second thought, they're Cool Ranch, so they're not worth anything.

Rountree85 · 2 months

I have you tagged as "Lying Faggot". Maybe you shouldn't have lied about your brother dying in Iraq.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/uf37m/my_brother_was_deployed_in_iraq_2_years_ago_this/

titaniumpanda95 · 2 months

I found an old .gif and put an obvious statement as the title. Give me karma.

RzK · 2 months

Not sure why.. but i have a massive urge to beat this guy with a brick

DaUsed · 2 months

I see a homeless man with Doritos at home in public.

Texts · 2 months

Funny picture sponsored by Doritos, eat some today!

nonumbers · 2 months

Nice add.

blarpy · 2 months

retoast

Carol_White · 2 months

Nice try, Frito-Lay.

millertime0503 · 2 months

http://i.imgur.com/kDEN9.jpg

[deleted] · 2 months

the funny was ruined by your awful typeface choice. Oh, and the fact that you look so desperate for karma that it looks like your call has been answered.

hatandcane · 2 months

I don't even care that this is a repost. Too damn true!

amolad · 2 months

[deleted]

Razed · 2 months

hmmm product placement is good. Actor looks average enough. Crappy gif quality. barely qualifies as funny. I'd say somebody is getting paid for a doritos ad here.

Pooters · 2 months

Kid looks like a mega nerd.

Julpool · 2 months

True ^{^}

funny

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CINNAMON TOAST FUCKING CRUNCH

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CINNAMON TOAST FUCKING CRUNCH

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