this post was submitted on
1,096 points (56% like it)
4,815 up votes 3,719 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,379,743 readers

22,845 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

1095
1096

Facebook's take on '50 Shades of Grey' (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Spruxy

all 141 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]MrOFoxy 54 points55 points ago

You blocked out the names of those who posted, but not those who liked the post?

[–]Spruxy[S] 1 point2 points ago

done goofed

[–]MrOFoxy 0 points1 point ago

All good comrade, just made me smile is all.

[–]BimbelMarley 184 points185 points ago

Facebooks's take? Oh sorry, I thought it was only 4 people talking about a book.

[–]LuridTeaParty 29 points30 points ago

Well, you don't hear the same thing said about 4chan when a chucklefuck words it like that either, but it't the same thing, just that they're anonymous to each other.

[–]CarolineTurpentine 9 points10 points ago

I thought a chucklefuck(er) was a girl who fucked comedians?

[–]DoctorWSG 1 point2 points ago

Christopher Titus fan here.

Love you man

[–]Beefourthree 3 points4 points ago

Your'r both making me twitch.

[–]Todomanna 0 points1 point ago

Li'me not sure what you're talking about.

[–]bastard_thought 14 points15 points ago

It's Facebook's take about as much as this thread is Reddit's take on Facebook takes.

[–]BimbelMarley 2 points3 points ago

I really don't think it's comparable. Facebook is not only a file sharing site with a big community, it is a social website and it is way too big to be compared with 4chan or reddit, it has no real consistency between its members.

You can't really talk about Reddit's take on something either, redditors don't all think the same way but it makes way more sense than talking about facebook's take on something.

[–]bastard_thought 5 points6 points ago

My point being there are 3-4 people in this comment thread speaking, and there are 3-4 people in the Facebook post.

[–]atred -1 points0 points ago

that's reddit's opinion...

[–]HmmmQuite 21 points22 points ago

Goddamn LiveJasmin!! Is there a way to block that shit? Like an extension?

[–]Thefriendlyfaceplant 7 points8 points ago

Don't be shy, just have a talk with those nice ladies.

[–]Rafa90 3 points4 points ago

For Chrome

[–]criticalnegation 4 points5 points ago

i have abp and they still pop up...??? do i need to make a custom filter or something?

[–]MrMerda 0 points1 point ago

Install "Better Pop Up Blocker". Just remember to white-list facebok (and/or other sites with massive use of javascript if you visit those).

[–]edmfc 0 points1 point ago

You need to go into your settings and make it so that your add-ons work when you're in incognito. At least that's what my problem was.

[–]Jhubbz86 0 points1 point ago

Reply reminder..... for science

[–]Goldom 0 points1 point ago

Open C:\Windows\System32\drivers\etc\hosts in Notepad
add this:
127.0.0.1 livejasmin.com
127.0.0.1 creatives.livejasmin.com
save; done.

If it won't let you save, check the file isn't read-only in properties, and try right-click Notepad, Run as Admin.

[–]BadBromance 0 points1 point ago

I use scriptblocker for Mozilla. It's pretty awesome.

[–]quin_wa -1 points0 points ago

Am I the only one that enjoy those? You click on your video(s), wait for it to buffer and in the meantime you watch some amateurs! Granted, some are fat...

[–]Divine_Igniter 29 points30 points ago

So is this book really just essentially a porno?

[–]Kowzorz 25 points26 points ago

If I understand correctly, it's an S&M novel.

[–]CleverRedditHandle 25 points26 points ago

It's pretty freakin' tame, vanilla S&M. I found the textbook controlling/abusive relationship to be way more shocking/disturbing than any of the sex (disclaimer: not to say S&M is bad, just that many people find it "shocking/disturbing").

[–]dipakkk 7 points8 points ago

Hmm, I find this as a quite nice business. Writing shitty books, which are about vanilla versions of something taboo.

Upside is, maybe more subs will come! Though the book isn't popular here in my country yet.

[–]stareattheart 1 point2 points ago

Tame, vanilla and INCORRECT. A huge part of BDSM is consent, and it's absent from the book.

[–]Im_Utterly_Insane 0 points1 point ago

So its about someone getting tied up and raped?

I've never read it and I'm actually curious to know what you meant.

[–]CleverRedditHandle 1 point2 points ago

It is and it isn't. The sex scenes are kind of "consensual" in that everyone ends up enjoying themselves and such. But, like stareattheart said, there's not really any spoken consent. I think there actually is a safeword, but it's never used. But even that might be forgiven, since I do understand how someone explicitly saying "yes, I would like for you to tie me up and have intercourse with me" can be a bit of a boner killer (what's the female equivilant for 'boner killer'?). BUT what personally disturbs me - and puts up tons of red flags - is that the female protagonist pretty much has zero self-esteem (or spine) and I don't think she could say "no" if she wanted to. She also fears her love interest, and thinks about if she can just change him, everything will be awesome.

The male love interest - in contrast - is rich and powerful and utterly controlling. Not just like "hey, let's try some kinky sex where I tie you up" controlling. But "I'm going to dictate everything you say and do and eat for the next few months, and I'm making you sign a 'contract' so you'll obey me. I will stalk you where you work and get jealous when other men call you and will show up at your apartment uninvited whenever I want." The love interest is a textbook case of abuser/control freak. He doesn't want hot, kinky sex from a consenting adult. He basically wants a doll that he can use however he likes.

And that's my own personal problem with the book. The sex scenes? Meh, whatever. They'd be fine if the relationship were between two mentally stable, consenting adults. But they're not, so that makes it either 1) creepy as fuck, or 2) a sad reflection on what women fantasize about. Or both. Also, it's kinda poorly written too.

TL;DR: I don't even think true "consent" is even possible in the situation presented in this book.

[–]stareattheart 0 points1 point ago

Basically. There is no explicit consent, and they never actually talk about their boundaries, safe-words etc.

[–]AnOnlineHandle 0 points1 point ago

My friend who read it said that the character signs a contract?

[–]Im_Utterly_Insane 0 points1 point ago

That sounds dangerous.

[–]Nivardica -1 points0 points ago

Awww its tame and vanilla. Damn it the hype is making it sound more deviant than it is. Curse you internet.

[–]kShade 25 points26 points ago

BDSM, more specifically.

[–]tonterias 1 point2 points ago

I am a man and I am enjoying this book. There, I said it.

[–]kShade 0 points1 point ago

Hi my name is Dave and I have a problem.

[–]luvmuppet 1 point2 points ago

A very poorly written one at that. Here's just one of so many awful quotes. (I bought the ebook, I'm bored enough to read it and I didn't want to parrot everyone else saying how bad it was.)

"“Let’s not go too far, we know your capacity for alcohol is limited, Anastasia.” I can’t help it. I grin, and he leans down to deliver another delicious mouthful. He shifts so he’s lying beside me, his erection at my hip. Oh, I want him inside me. “Is this nice?” he asks, but I hear the edge in his voice.

It's basically a fanfic novel from someone that wanted her own twist on Twilight. "Anastasia" and "Christian" .. get it?

It's awful.

[–]Kowzorz 0 points1 point ago

Indeed. Here's a talk about that topic (among others in publication):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU4yJoX9gMg#t=132s

[–]Divine_Igniter 1 point2 points ago

Why the hell has every girl/lady I have ever known read it then? I think my mom's even read it...

[–]MasticationMan 11 points12 points ago

They gotta get their jerk on too. More or less.

[–]Divine_Igniter 19 points20 points ago

Dey gotta flick dat bean.

[–]udbw834 0 points1 point ago

Now you know that your mother's taste in erotica runs to BDSM. Sorry about that.

[–]CarolineTurpentine -1 points0 points ago

My cousins in Ireland are all reading it and going crazy.

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 5 points6 points ago

I've heard it described as the "Twilight of Smut".

[–]somalotov 9 points10 points ago

Well, it was originally a Twilight fan-fic.

[–]Divine_Igniter 7 points8 points ago

Think I'd personally rather read "The Smut of Twilight". I could get into some vampire pizzorn.

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 5 points6 points ago

I'd be willing to bet that there's already a bit too much of that.

[–]dukec 1 point2 points ago

It is Twilight fan fiction.

[–]somalotov -1 points0 points ago

It has nothing to do with vampires, though. Just some rich dude seducing some young bimbo.

[–]SpacedApe 7 points8 points ago

I finally gave in and looked it up because of all the attention reddit's been giving it, and I was quite surprised to find out it actually began as a Twilight fanfic.

[–]meltedsquirrel 0 points1 point ago

That's because its Alternate Reality Twilight fan fiction. I hate that I know this.

[–]Thefriendlyfaceplant -1 points0 points ago

I thought Twilight was the Twilight of smut.

[–]AQiLd 0 points1 point ago

I haven't finished it yet (for science) but it's Twilight through chapter six. An introduction of Grey's rape dungeon in chapter seven, and then sex in chapter eight.

[–]Thefriendlyfaceplant -1 points0 points ago

Just like Twillight was, I don't see the big deal.

[–]steviesteveo12 -1 points0 points ago

Yeah, it's a book where it actually matters to you if the author is attractive. Shakespeare it ain't.

[–]bongolemon 13 points14 points ago

Hey op. The person who wrote the status, are his initials DH?

[–]Spruxy[S] 4 points5 points ago

Yep.

[–]bongolemon 11 points12 points ago

Saw this on my facebook news feed earlier. Small world.

[–]mrsmith099 -3 points-2 points ago

Sorry to butt in, but it was on mine too... Very small world!

[–]Thefriendlyfaceplant 12 points13 points ago

So are you guys suggesting that this picture wasn't forged by the OP?

[–]mrsmith099 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, it was a legtimate status on Facebook

[–]cannot-comprehend 4 points5 points ago

or.... all of you are the same person.

[–]dipakkk 0 points1 point ago

I didn't saw it. I saw some supsicious pixels on this picture though...

[–]bongolemon 0 points1 point ago

The shadows are all wrong.

[–]PeacekeeperAl 0 points1 point ago

I'm the same person!

[–]tonterias 0 points1 point ago

That's a first time.

[–]interflop 9 points10 points ago

NOW ALL OF YOU KISS

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Checking in.

[–]yep45 0 points1 point ago

DOXXED

[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 10 points11 points ago

Magic Mike, Fifty Shades of Grey.... yknow what, women have needed shameless porn for awhile. This is a good thing.

Even though I'll take youporn over some cheesy movie or book any day, the Mom Generations would disagree with me. So good on em, they can eat this up.

[–]IAmTheOmNom 1 point2 points ago

Damn, does that mean that it is ok to chat about porn with random girls on the street now?

[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 2 points3 points ago

Yes.

[–]deffsight 4 points5 points ago

Relevant

[–]gimmicked 2 points3 points ago

Thank you, I have been wondering what this book is and this made me laugh as well.

[–]jillymcjill 3 points4 points ago

This may be the most accurate description of the book I've read to date.

[–]MrMerda 6 points7 points ago

At first I tought it had something to do with Sasha Grey. Now I'm disappointed.

[–]edgarvaldes 0 points1 point ago

50 Shades On Grey

[–]harvey881 53 points54 points ago

Women are reading AND enjoying sex.

Double shit storm for people stuck in the 1950s.

[–]A_Canuck 20 points21 points ago

At least they can't vote!

[–]TheInternetHivemind 5 points6 points ago

Umm...we need to talk dude.

I know you want everything to be the same as before your accident in the 1890s that brought you to our time, but umm, some things have changed.

[–]DavidNatan 2 points3 points ago

Another series in the grade of Twilight/The Hunger Games, though.

Nobody has an issue with women reading or enjoying sex. Women enjoy porn too, but a certain group of women like to pretend that romance novels are the only way a woman can get off to justify their terrible taste. And then call that reading - just about as much as browsing RedTube resembles the Cannes festival.

[–]ermintwang 4 points5 points ago

I'm sure your porn is incredibly high brow and cultured.

[–]GFandango 3 points4 points ago

At least men don't pretend like it is.

[–]DavidNatan 6 points7 points ago

I often mute it and play classical music, instead, and try to place the actors in the context of what could very well be a thrilling carnival of a lifetime full of frivolous sexual affairs, disenchantment, resentment and the ultimate end of innocence, that brought them to that choice of career. Some of them, you can see it in their eyes, are the self-reflecting kind, quiet and absorbed in their actions, not really ever letting go of their restraints, the thought that what they're doing should be personal, intimate, the constant awareness of the intrusion that is the film crew, always in the back of their mind. Others have completely lost touch with the dogmas of society and are simply enjoying the moment. You can tell which one of them is really enjoying it, and which one is simply putting on a show.

Or I just go to efukt.com and try to maintain an erection while laughing hysterically.

[–]ermintwang 2 points3 points ago

No matter what, you're still just having a wank. You can't judge the quality of people's taste in literature based on their choice of porn, unless you are a massive twat. Which is why it's so embarrassing to see people get on their high horse over fifty shades of grey.

[–]DavidNatan 9 points10 points ago

I'm just cross over people calling it reading, implying that it should be appreciated as a means to get more women to read. On the contrary I think it's a lot more insulting to women to claim that that kind of literature is what we need to get them to read.

To make a parallel to the male population some of my friends used to be addicted to the Diablo 2/Starcraft/Warcraft spin-off novels, and those are the last books they've picked up since.

[–]ermintwang -3 points-2 points ago

I'm just cross over people calling it reading, implying that it should be appreciated as a means to get more women to read.

No one's saying that at all though. People are saying it's good that women feel comfortable expressing their sexuality openly. That is good, the quality of the literature is by the by, it's fucking porn. It's good women feel comfortable being open about consuming porn.

[–]DavidNatan 2 points3 points ago

On the contrary the original comment was saying just that - women reading 50 Shades = 'women reading' as if men have a problem with/disbelief for the act of a woman reading anything at all.

[–]ermintwang -3 points-2 points ago

Women reading and enjoying sex, I read that as the act of reading something sexual is shocking. I don't think there's a problem with women as a group not tackling literature, and if anyone IS saying that, they're very silly. It's still ridiculous to look down on others as having 'poor taste' because they've read some erotica.

Ugh, whoever is downvoting me for defending a fucking book, why not just reply and say what you disagree with?

[–]terf2004 0 points1 point ago

I think its because sharing it around and constantly talking about it is fucking weird. If I walked up to someone and started talking about spankwire I would be looked at like a lunatic, but its cool to discuss it if its a book?

[–]stareattheart -1 points0 points ago

Actually, I just mind it because the relationship is incredibly abusive and controlling, and it's portrayed as perfect.

I love porn as much as any other person, but I like consent in my porn.

[–]ermintwang -1 points0 points ago

I like consent in my porn.

Plenty of people in the BDSM community have a problem with the way relationship is portrayed in FSoG, but, welcome to the concept of D/s porn. Plenty of people like to fantasise about consensual non-consent, and that's ok.

[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 0 points1 point ago

efukt is probably my favorite porn site.

[–]atteroero -1 points0 points ago

You do realize that some people of both genders prefer erotica just because they enjoy it more, don't you? Not everyone who favors written porn over redtube is making their decision based on some kind of repression.

[–]DavidNatan 0 points1 point ago

I said a certain group - not all women who enjoy erotica. Also I never said they were repressed, a better term would be apologetic.

[–]Faceless_Man -2 points-1 points ago

Not all women are doing both. My wife is reading this book.

[–]stareattheart -2 points-1 points ago

I like my porn not abusive, thankyouverymuch.

Consent is sexy.

[–]dblan9 2 points3 points ago

It's pretty fucking disturbing when your 67 year old mother says, "this is pretty tame. Your father and I have much dirtier sex." Hypnotherapy does not remove that sentence.

[–]andey 2 points3 points ago

Best Live Jasmin Popup Ever.

http://i.imgur.com/76vFo.png

I continued to watch her for a while.

[–]rottenseed[!] 3 points4 points ago

Joke all you'd like, that book has gotten me laid more in recent time than anything I could have personally done.

[–]GFandango -1 points0 points ago

Except she was imagining you were that billionaire douchebag...

[–]rottenseed[!] 2 points3 points ago

my penis doesn't care...I was imagining she was her sister

[–]A_Canuck 1 point2 points ago

So you cover the photos but leave the names of the people who liked it... you do realize this is the internet right?

[–]bobafetjetpack 1 point2 points ago

Should prolly make the 'likes' anonymous as well. just sayin.

[–]jeffarei 1 point2 points ago

can i sue? i can sue, right?

totally suing for something.

[–]Spruxy[S] 0 points1 point ago

Please don't

[–]stferago 1 point2 points ago

Fucking LiveJasmin.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Facebook's take? This looks like just one person's opinion to me. Why do you think this person represents the opinion of every single person on Facebook, Spruxy?

[–]Spruxy[S] 0 points1 point ago

Should I have said, "My Facebook's take"? I think people are dwelling a bit much on the title...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

It's a very pretentious and dim-witted title. It makes you look like a meme-spouting moron.

[–]NosferatuHeftyDance 2 points3 points ago

Adblock, my friends. Watching porn has never been so enjoyable.

[–]tevert 0 points1 point ago

Damn those popups.

[–]Leatherman8 0 points1 point ago

Nothing like the delay of LiveJasmin loading in the background to freak you the fuck out when you hear a strange voice.

[–]PeacekeeperAl 0 points1 point ago

Ok. What's the jist of this book? It seems like when Harry Potter came out or Da Vinci Code. Loads of non readers suddenly excited and can't wait to tell people that they are reading a book.

Please tell me it has large print!

[–]IAmTheOmNom 0 points1 point ago

About a girl becoming a willing sex slave if I remember correctly.

I doubt mommy will read it to me before going to bed.

[–]Bethurz 0 points1 point ago

About a girl agreeing to become a sex slave because the dude who wants her to is super hot but then it turns out she doesn't actually want to but, wait! He's super hot and she loves him despite only knowing him a couple weeks so obviously she should just let him carry on...

[–]KhronanWork 0 points1 point ago

I just blocked livejasmin.com in my router. So when I get a popup, the page just doesn't load.

Bwahahahaha

[–]IAmTheOmNom 0 points1 point ago

I just use adblock.

(except on reddit)

[–]questionslp 0 points1 point ago

Facebooks take on anything = Idiots commenting on idiots commenting on retards.

[–]crunchy51 0 points1 point ago

Fuck Live Jasmine, No really, fuck Live Jasmine having to hear those nasty webcam skanks in the background until I click over and close the page has slowed down or ruined many a fab session. Sometimes they are so gross I'm mentally forced to watch for awhile in fascination much like you would a train wreck. I think they've even realized that with all the great free porn and hot cam-girls out there they needed something different and started hiring the most disgusting putrid whores they could. I dread the day when someday I'm drunk enough and fascinated enough to pay for a private session with one, but I fear it is only a matter of time...and then I'll either be scarred for life, gay or both.

[–]DFP_ 0 points1 point ago

What the hell is 50 Shades of Grey/Gray?

[–]Stevengodz 0 points1 point ago

Censor your name and the people who commented but not the ones that liked it? Nice.

[–]Weekendatbyrnez 0 points1 point ago

Now quick everyone add them on facebook, that'll show them!

[–]boogiemonstaz 0 points1 point ago

you guys should read the top review of it on amazon

[–]timothygruich 0 points1 point ago

I haven't read it but I'm assuming its like Harry Potter but the magic wand is a penis and the chamber of secrets is a 50 year old vagina.

[–]mojorisin2592 0 points1 point ago

Your friends think they are funny. They aren't. Keep this dumb facebook shit off reddit.

[–]Spruxy[S] -1 points0 points ago

You think you're funny. You're not. Keep dumb comments like this off reddit.

[–]mojorisin2592 0 points1 point ago

I am funny by my own standards. I don't whore my funniness to the world on a shitty platform used for narcissistic purposes. Then again, I don't whore my friends' idiotic, unfunny conversations either.... and several of them actually make me laugh, unlike your post. Get your shit together and stop ruining reddit.

Love,

mojorisin2592

[–]Spruxy[S] -1 points0 points ago

This is the saddest thing I've read all day. You are a strange, strange little man. And you have my pitty.

[–]timdorr 0 points1 point ago

I think this is the best reaction so far.

[–]chis -1 points0 points ago

Fifty shades of shite.

[–]Nivardica -1 points0 points ago

I heard it wasn't actually that bad. Did you read it?

[–]gangsterpony 0 points1 point ago

It is horrendously bad.

[–]chis 0 points1 point ago

No, I Just thought the sentence "50 shades of shite" had a nice ring to it. I have no opinion on the book. But I have heard it's mediocre at best.

[–]Kuhva -2 points-1 points ago

I went with 50 shades of gay, cause I am still a snot nosed 13 year old kid at heart.

[–]questionslp -2 points-1 points ago

Whats fifty shades of grey? Sound super fucking gay. Man, ever since I have been tuning this country out, my life has been getting better. I'm sure, just like this useless comment, whatever this "thing" is, it's poorly made, likable only by idiots, and steam-rolled through our media like the coming of Christ.

My advice? Stop watching T.V. That shit is terrible. They are turning America from an industrial nation, into a nation of consumers. No longer needing chains, we enslave ourselves with the promise of material gain. Turn off that radio, that shit is bad, too. Not even talking about today's music, holy shit!

When it comes time to vote, don't, unless it is for local things. Presidential polls are basically a way to make the herd feel like they have a voice, but really you are only voting for the next corporate sponsored scapegoat. Save your time and energy, step away from the burning tower, and focus on yourselves. Life is too short for America's bullshit, especially if you fat fuckers are only expecting to live to your fifties.

[–]GFandango 0 points1 point ago

It's Twilight for moms who were unlike their teenage daughters too old to find a shiny vampire sexy. So the douchebag here is a billionaire with a huge cock.

[–]j1mb0 -2 points-1 points ago

This is the worst post I've ever seen.

[–]Mitz510 -2 points-1 points ago

Do people really still read books for entertainment?

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 19568 on app-03 running 152ff4e.