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top 200 commentsshow all 372

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]CrooklynDodgers 175 points176 points ago

As soon as she's finished the question, I'd have soiled myself, and then induced myself in a little panic attack. Then I'd cooly say, "Is it just me or did I shit myself?"

[–]SixtiesSpiderman 110 points111 points ago

[–]RTrooper 103 points104 points ago

[–]NotaMethAddict 74 points75 points ago

[–]meditonsin 72 points73 points ago

[–]thatmattperson 69 points70 points ago

[–]NotaMethAddict 78 points79 points ago

[–]HNIJTM 11 points12 points ago

[–]TyPeLiKeThIs 23 points24 points ago

[–]NotaMethAddict 69 points70 points ago

[–]thatsumoguy07 45 points46 points ago

[–]GTAking33 45 points46 points ago

[–]Cakeman9 44 points45 points ago

[–]NotaMethAddict 38 points39 points ago

[–]ANDYBIERSACK 16 points17 points ago

[–]lemmewinks89[S] 16 points17 points ago

touché salesman

[–]Brillians 1 point2 points ago

I wish I knew how I'd react.

[–]typesPOOP 2 points3 points ago

Ouch. You didn't have to tell it like it is, Marge.

[–]RileyWon 49 points50 points ago

When an attractive girl flirts with me i immediately raise my standards to beyond her level. She never has a chance

[–]dan123md 9 points10 points ago

only way to go is up

[–]BJJLucas 118 points119 points ago

I was at the bar one night and said this in response to a woman who told me she liked my glasses. She looked very confused and walked away. It's not terribly often that the opportunity presents itself so I felt like it had to be said.

[–]groucho_marxist 63 points64 points ago

I don't understand. This strikes me as a great response. You must have delivered it a manner that indicated you didn't want further conversation. Properly said, this should draw her in...

[–]BJJLucas 12 points13 points ago

I thought I delivered the line pretty well (it's one of my favorite scenes in the entire show so I remember it clearly). She seemed really caught off guard by it, though. I got a good laugh at least.

[–]baka_toroi 22 points23 points ago

Maybe she detests The IT Crowd.

[–]BJJLucas 27 points28 points ago

Then it wouldn't have worked out between us anyway.

[–]w1nst0n 1 point2 points ago

By any chance, are you into Brazilian Ju Jitsu?

[–]BJJLucas 1 point2 points ago

Yep, I am and I love it. Sadly though, due to my work schedule and finances, I haven't been able to train for the better part of 2 years now. Really missing it.

[–]Hara-Kiri 2 points3 points ago

There's two ways I can see it said, the socially awkward way Moss says it, or one with a bit of cheeky humour to it. I can't see the latter not working, the former however...

[–]BJJLucas 1 point2 points ago

Should the opportunity ever arise again, I'll be sure to add a friendly little smirk when I say it (which I must not have done). And this time, I won't add "...you glasses-coveting whore" to the end. I never was any good at ad-libbing anyway.

[–]hotshotgfx 7 points8 points ago

Well yes it would be great if you say it confidently. If you get too nervous or awkward, the girl will always walk away. Or the girl was too dumb to get the joke

[–]duvakiin 6 points7 points ago

this kills the crab

[–]Singular_Thought 5 points6 points ago

You implied that she was a hooker.

[–]hongryghost 1 point2 points ago

What show is this from? I always see screenshots on reddit and it looks hilarious.

[–]BJJLucas 2 points3 points ago

The IT Crowd

Easily one of my favorite shows.

[–]randyrectem 1 point2 points ago

I was extremely drunk at a party and a girl came up to put her arm around me and proceeded to blatantly flirt before she made a similar comment.

She said I like your glasses they make you look smart.

I said thanks they were 80 dollars.

I don't even fucking remember how much they cost, I just wanted to say something to make her run away before I deuced all over myself.

[–]MayorEmanuel 110 points111 points ago

You're lucky, I just get maced.

[–]tg989 54 points55 points ago

Try flirting with your pants on.

[–]xDividedByZer0 17 points18 points ago

I've actually heard that works pretty well.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 67 points68 points ago

Stop trying to flirt with Brienne of Tarth.

[–]totoro11 19 points20 points ago

Every subreddit is r/gameofthrones! D:

[–]jpark28 17 points18 points ago

Whenever I see this gif I have to watch it loop no less than 5 times

[–]marmite_cat 37 points38 points ago

she is so fit

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

But my gosh, don't she just know it

[–]marmite_cat 14 points15 points ago

I'm not trying to pull her, even though I would like to

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

I think she is really fit, she's fit but my gosh don't she know it

[–]volvaga0 7 points8 points ago

LEAVE IT OOOOOOOOOUT

[–]kirkoswald 1 point2 points ago

no, NO, dont touch me!

[–]johnnygrant 9 points10 points ago

that hit home

[–]that_thing_you_do 6 points7 points ago

Omg she said something to me...

[–]COCKLAPS 4 points5 points ago

Who is she??

[–]steffenmac 17 points18 points ago

Cheryl Cole, British chick.

[–]tonight__you 2 points3 points ago

Ah, that look is so familiar.

[–]jk147 17 points18 points ago

[–]_oreo_ 16 points17 points ago

worst handjob ever.

[–]MAKE_THIS_POLITICAL 9 points10 points ago

Best prostate exam ever.

[–]Number_J 1 point2 points ago

Yes, but is it what's right for our country?

[–]Lonadar 22 points23 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]tehgreatist 55 points56 points ago

one time at a party, a cute girl walked in on me while i was pissing (she saw me go in, its a house bathroom). i was incredibly drunk, finished up, noticed piss all over the seat (dont think i did it) offered to wipe it up for her. she said no its alright. did it anyway, washed my hands and left, patting myself on the back for being a gentleman. later i realized, she just walked in on me pissing, intentionally, and started talking to me. why the FUCK did i leave?

opportunity: missed

[–]fiveplusonestring 44 points45 points ago

Status of Jimmies: Rustled

[–]Applebeignet 4 points5 points ago

An incident like this is why I stopped getting drunk.

[–]Aory 4 points5 points ago

Drunk = opportunities

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Drunkertunities.

[–]DiogenesK9 85 points86 points ago

0118 999 881 999 119 725-3

[–]bigontheinside 17 points18 points ago

I hope I'm not the only who memorised this

[–]DiogenesK9 5 points6 points ago

You're not, I catch myself singing at work...scumbag brain...

[–]snuffletrout 6 points7 points ago

You even got the pause before the 3

[–]stararrows 67 points68 points ago

[–]Porphyrius 14 points15 points ago

I've come to the conclusion that it's always the latter, and yet I'll still agonize about the possibility that she's actually interested. Very frustrating.

[–]X-Craft 7 points8 points ago

Or nice because I don't have a chance

Sounds like preemptive friendzoning...

[–]SpawnOfBelial 2 points3 points ago

Hey, just wondering stararrows. I used an image in comments the other day, but didn't know how to change the words that appear. (talking about how you have it shown as 'This is me'.. mine would just say the website's long title) How do I make it say what I want it to say?

[–]Merondon 2 points3 points ago

You put the text between []'s and then put the link between ()'s right after so it will look like this:

[This is what it should say](here you put the link)

(And since I explained this terribly you can click on the "formatting help" link that's right beneath the bottom right corner of the reply window and you'll see how it should be done)

[–]PocketBuckle 2 points3 points ago

Put your text [in brackets] and your link (in parentheses). Conjoin them, of course, and you'd get [your text](linked).

[–]Paradoxide 143 points144 points ago

As much as I like the show and the joke, this hit front page at least 4 times in the last year.

[–]bfogarty27 51 points52 points ago

And with pretty much the same title

[–]apmechev 34 points35 points ago

It's marketed to redditors...

[–]bro-illionaire 11 points12 points ago

classic neckbeard marketing 101

[–]NotaMethAddict 7 points8 points ago

[–]elr456 2 points3 points ago

What show is it?

[–]figbar 7 points8 points ago

Newbie question: what show is it?

[–]lomoeffect 15 points16 points ago

IT Crowd! Well worth watching - it's my favourite sitcom. 'The Work Outing' or 'Calamity Jen' are both great starting points.

[–]Reckless_Abaddon 2 points3 points ago

Surely he should start from the beginning?

[–]bigontheinside 1 point2 points ago

The IT Crowd. I believe it's the first season, I could be wrong though

[–]Poop_Is_Edible[!] 4 points5 points ago

4 times? hahaha

[–]rr0hit 23 points24 points ago

I always knew Moss is a redditor.

[–]Sierus 12 points13 points ago

Renholm industries has a pretty slick site too.

[–]Grennir 16 points17 points ago

http://www.reynholm.co.uk/it.php

Dear God, do not press "click here to continue"...

[–]laddergoat89 5 points6 points ago

Amazing.

[–]w1nst0n 1 point2 points ago

Damn, I'm always worried that these things are screamer pranks.

[–]tg989 8 points9 points ago

click on "staff intranet"

U: moss.m

P: lonelyroad

[–]Dr_Liam 1 point2 points ago

ONE OF OUR I.T. TECHNICIANS WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH ASSISTANCE WITHIN THE NEXT 2-48 HOURS.

[–]gstatty 5 points6 points ago

My god this website is gold. You must be known by the Elders of the internet.

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points ago

[–]A7X4REVer 8 points9 points ago

I just don't catch on when an attractive girl flirts with me. My friend would point it out I would say "So, she wasn't just being nice?"

[–]Saiyaman 6 points7 points ago

My brain just has a 404 error whenever it happens to me. A girl sat in the desk to mine and pushed her desk closer to mine, tried to say hi, and my brain short-circuited :(

[–]klunder98 6 points7 points ago

I'm still trying to figure out what the proper response is. Every time a girl tells me she likes my glasses I just give her a polite "Thanks". It always makes me feel like a complete windowlicker.

[–]MrPieMan 6 points7 points ago

How about a compliment in return to show that you are interested as well? "I like your dress/necklace/hair/friendly manner/Bill Clinton mask/enormous boobs/Spiderman costume/obsession with Neil de Grasse Tyson/etc etc etc."

[–]shillbert 7 points8 points ago

"I like your enormous obsession with Neil deGrasse Boobs. I mean, uhhhh...."

[–]ZapActions-dower 7 points8 points ago

No! Bad reposter!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]JadoJodo 8 points9 points ago

That was the moment; Shoulda kissed her.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]JadoJodo 5 points6 points ago

Shoulda kissed her.

[–]veggiemonkey 2 points3 points ago

My good sir, that is precisely what you should have done.

[–]danyim 1 point2 points ago

yeah, she was totally on your dick brah

[–]ImAMouse 7 points8 points ago

Sophie Colquhoun

[–]chadnickbok 2 points3 points ago

Thanks brah.

[–]ripkid 17 points18 points ago

Something very similar happened to me at college.

Girl: Hey.. I really like your glasses. Me: Oh, thank you. They help me see.

True story.. embarassing.

[–]Jyggaleel 4 points5 points ago

[–]GTCharged 8 points9 points ago

I was always the quiet guy in High School. 4 years after graduation, I have 3 very attractive girls being really flirty, and I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing or have done to deserve this all of a sudden.

[–]Hara-Kiri 2 points3 points ago

At highschool people care about your popularity, when you're older nobody gives a shit about that and likes who you actually are.

[–]scartol 4 points5 points ago

No lie: One time I didn't realize she was coming on to me, so when she mentioned how warm it was in my dorm room, I opened a window.

Took me two days to realize. I was not a perceptive lad.

[–]RedSharkRedShark 3 points4 points ago

Can someone explain this image to me? I see it often. Is the guy oblivious to her flirting? Or is he assuming that the girl wants something from him?

[–]hcumberdale1 15 points16 points ago

I am not familiar with the show but I assume he's oblivious. This hits close to home. Sometimes I'll talk to a woman and later think to myself "Well that was really weird, why was she acting like that... oh shit, she was flirting."

[–]Dump-Truck 12 points13 points ago

Relax, she was probably just trying to manipulate you into doing her a favor and you never actually had a chance.

[–]hcumberdale1 10 points11 points ago

That is likely

[–]denizenKRIM 2 points3 points ago

I get these thoughts about a couple years later, when I'm randomly reminiscing about all the girls I didn't capitalize on.

[–]Crab_Allen 3 points4 points ago

Being a super-logical socialy inept nerd he is infact, oblivious.

[–]rjw57 1 point2 points ago

Oblivious and confused by the fact that the statement had no point.

[–]caleeko 2 points3 points ago

[–]kohan69 1 point2 points ago

I can't lip-read that.

[–]TriadPwn 3 points4 points ago

He must have... TURNED HER OFF AND ON AGAIN. I'll show myself out...

[–]imredditting 2 points3 points ago

girl: you smell really good me: really? I didn't shower this morning. ......facepalm.

[–]Beardfire 1 point2 points ago

Ok, I feel you on that, but I couldn't help but laugh.

[–]imredditting 1 point2 points ago

You should, it's sad and funny.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]FordSVT1 6 points7 points ago

I would have asked them where they were from, what they were doing in my town, etc. It's called "having a conversation".

[–]thatshitcrayaintitj 11 points12 points ago

Okay honestly, how the fuck am I supposed to know if a girl's flirting with me in a situation like that? How do I know she doesn't ACTUALLY like my glasses? I mean what if her tone didn't give away her intentions. Help a SAP out.

[–]PercyChuggs 55 points56 points ago

Are you attractive? Then she's flirting with you. If you're not, then she just likes your glasses.

[–]Jimmyscene -1 points0 points ago

I see no reason why this was downvoted.

[–]wisenheimer 19 points20 points ago

I see no reason why this was upvoted.

[–]PercyChuggs 16 points17 points ago

I see no reason why I shouldn't go eat a big bowl of ice cream right now

[–]loldan 0 points1 point ago

There's never a reason.

[–]arloun 1 point2 points ago

There always is. ALWAYS

[–]cigarettesteve 4 points5 points ago

I see no reason.

[–]heyitsthatdude511 5 points6 points ago

I see.

[–]eskimobob117 1 point2 points ago

See?

[–]83alx 1 point2 points ago

I.

[–]stopshort 7 points8 points ago

Is that the hooker from game of thrones?

http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Ros

[–]CapnCrayg 10 points11 points ago

the hooker?

[–]stopshort 3 points4 points ago

prostitute is what I meant, guess there were no hookers back then

[–]CapnCrayg 8 points9 points ago

Haha, my point was that is seems like every episode has multiple hookers/prostitutes.

[–]eblees 9 points10 points ago

i don't think so

[–]chadnickbok 1 point2 points ago

It also looks suspiciously like Sunny Lane. Don't google that; you either know what I'm talking about, or you move on.

[–]kleptooo 3 points4 points ago

man i love this show

[–]Icedcc 1 point2 points ago

reminds me of laci green and sunny lane

[–]giegerwasright 1 point2 points ago

My response is always "What do you want, what are you trying to sell me, please enough with the facade and just bring me my beer."

[–]lloopy 1 point2 points ago

Laugh all you want, they're still not for sale.

[–]jimdidr 1 point2 points ago

Is that confirmed flirting ? SHIT ... FUCK.... AAAAARRRRGG...

[–]theC4K3is4lie 1 point2 points ago

[–]nympho_dora_tonks 1 point2 points ago

My glasses are hot guy repellent.

[–]Eric578 1 point2 points ago

I'm not straight, but just for shits and giggles what should the guy say that would be super smooth instant panty dropper to that line?

[–]Raknith 1 point2 points ago

Who is that girl?

[–]Erad17 1 point2 points ago

This is one of my favourite shows :D

[–]heylookitsmykel 1 point2 points ago

How many times is this pic reposted?

[–]dalore 1 point2 points ago

I'm stealing this. People comment on my glasses all the time. They are like moz's except the arms ( is that the right word? ) ate yellow.

[–]LoveOfProfit 1 point2 points ago

Where's the repost bot?

[–]TheCaptainSam 1 point2 points ago

Submarine is a great film.

[–]Neskuaxa 1 point2 points ago

Like a Moss.

[–]dreminemike 2 points3 points ago

repost

[–]neric05 1 point2 points ago

Looks like the tech guy from Max Payne 3

[–]rocknrollhikeskoo 1 point2 points ago

OH FUCK, THIS IS A PERFECT THREAD FOR THIS!

HELP ME

There's this girl I have a crush on, let's call her MADISON because that is her name.

FLASHBACK TO YESTERDAY!

MADISON and I have been talking for a couple of minutes, out of nowhere she says...

M: I like your shirt, did you get it here? (we work at a clothing store)

Then she talks about how she likes my shirt, then says she's going to add me on Facebook later that night. Am I extremely clueless or does she have interest in me?!

[–]FakeColours 3 points4 points ago

Holy fucking shit. Just assume attraction and go on from there.

[–]SheldonFreeman 1 point2 points ago

Too little information to know. Based on that alone, more likely than not, but you have to read into her tone and body language. If she holds eye contact for a long time and her pupils get larger when she looks at you, then yes. When she greets you, you need to know if it's friendly or flirty based on her tone. When she's talking, don't just look at her blankly; hold a subtly seductive stare, and notice how often she looks away. Honestly, without a firm grasp of body language and subtle flirting, it's difficult to start something with a female coworker. So learn. You can say "I like your shirt" like she did, but if you want to get the message across, "That shirt looks good on you" said with a flirty tone is better. Etc. etc.

[–]rocknrollhikeskoo 1 point2 points ago

Aww man!

Okay well two co-workers have told me that she's into me based on her body language around me. I think that's a pretty good sign! I work with her over the next two days, so I'll probably ask her out or something. I'm really bad at expressing just how I've noticed whether she's into me or not, but I'm on the fence when I'm usually miles away from it, so this is a pretty big step for me!

Thanks for the help, though!

[–]Lord_of_Womba 1 point2 points ago

You should reply with an update on here on something, I'm curious to see how it goes. Good luck!

[–]rocknrollhikeskoo 1 point2 points ago

Haha, alrighty!

If this post gets popular somehow I'll post a full update, otherwise I'll just send you and whoever else is interested a PM. :)

[–]dfdklcuntlskdke 1 point2 points ago

Hah! Attractive girls don't flirt with you op. You silly goose you.

[–]lemmewinks89[S] 8 points9 points ago

[–]z0p 7 points8 points ago

[–]whyillbedamned 0 points1 point ago

What show is this from?

[–]copulat0r 9 points10 points ago

The IT Crowd. pretty funny british sitcom

[–]goondestroyer 2 points3 points ago

The IT Crowd

[–]Maverick119 0 points1 point ago

My reaction when my friends ex-gf asked me to prom "oh, no you wouldn't want to go with mee... maybe?" (Im not good at saying no to pretty girls).

[–]zapper9595 0 points1 point ago

From what show/series is this?

[–]theworldsashoe 0 points1 point ago

you know when an attractive girl flirts with me ehaha i just look her in the face and say kind things like wassup

[–]raiderofthereposts 0 points1 point ago

Busted!! you came a long way though..

[–]cma6250 0 points1 point ago

I've seen this guy in a ton of memes, some one please tell me what show this is from?

[–]nemo_98 1 point2 points ago

The IT Crowd.

[–]zimzamzoom2 0 points1 point ago

the amount of times this exact scene image has been posted in the past few months is more than 1 hands worth..

[–]nitneuq6 0 points1 point ago

I already expected this when I clicked the link.. Seen it too many times.

[–]writetodeath 0 points1 point ago

How are you supposed to respond?

[–]horizontalcelery 0 points1 point ago

shame that never happens

[–]Karma_Or_Bust 0 points1 point ago

I don't get any compliments. I must be oblivious to the thousands being thrown at me!

[–]molotov0815 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of me meeting The Subways at a festival. The drummer told me that he likes my hat. I was so surprised that the only thing I could say was "Yeah, me too, but you don't get it."

Maybe I was just distracted by Charlotte touching my hand...

[–]bubbles_says 0 points1 point ago

What if I told you most times when a girl remarks on something nice about you, she's not flirting, she's just appreciating it.

[–]ninjaeuphonium 0 points1 point ago

Moss! I love Moss!

[–]Mirple 0 points1 point ago

"Haha, you're funny!"

"Well, they are still not for sale."

[–]gravytown 0 points1 point ago

I imagine all guys on reddit as Moss and Roy

[–]gravytown 0 points1 point ago

After reading this thread, I completely understand why there are so many "How do I talk to girls?" posts in /r/askreddit. You guys are so cute, and break my heart at how uneasy it is for you guys to deal with us women.

[–]Parkmayn 0 points1 point ago

What? That's bullshit. Attractive girls don't flirt with reposters.

[–]SackFulloApplez 0 points1 point ago

I like this show.

[–]Dust-Is-Eloquent 0 points1 point ago

Upvotes for Moss :)

[–]Pizzaman99 0 points1 point ago

You are right to be suspicious. I know that look.

If you're not careful, the next thing you know, you'll being coming in on Saturday to file her TCP reports.

[–]nguyencs 0 points1 point ago

You mean when a girl acts nice to you.