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all 156 comments

[–]abnerdude 35 points36 points ago

[–]Winston_Vodkatooth 89 points90 points ago

I always thought this one was the best.

[–]JimmehFTW 19 points20 points ago

DMX has some of the best rap lines to make fun of in music history, however his scary black man demeanor somehow protected him from the scorn of the internet.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

agreed, i can't even count the amount of times I've been doing assignments for school or studying for an exam and thinking, "WHAT THESE BITCHES WANT FROM A NIGGA?!?!?!? SOMEBODY LET ME KNOW!"

also, that song from the little mermaid, "i wanna be where the people are" was really applicable to my social life in law school. i sang it many-a-time to people in the library i felt perpetually trapped in.

[–]Jaques_Naurice 1 point2 points ago

DMX: “I’ma have to show niggas how easily we blow niggas.”

(From “Ruff Ryders Anthem”)

More.

[–]syllabic 0 points1 point ago

Doesn't he rap about how he's crying on X gon' give it to ya? Real thug there.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]NotaMethAddict 48 points49 points ago

Quite! It really brings out the inner thug in an elegant manner.

[–]aceuser 97 points98 points ago

some of my hobbies include crocheting, gardening, and bustin caps in bitches

[–]Panda_S3X -2 points-1 points ago

you're quite the sophisticated chap, aren't ya? quite.

[–]dreamingtree 78 points79 points ago

I've done a few similar ones!

http://imgur.com/LVA5s

http://imgur.com/8crQ1

http://imgur.com/lStdo

Edit: forgot this one! http://cache1.bigcartel.com/product_images/61812975/DSC_0031.JPG

Sorry for shitty link formatting, on my phone...

[–]elfpron 13 points14 points ago

Here's mine! They go really nice together

http://i.imgur.com/iHy3Ml.jpg

I think the frame makes it

[–]dumdumb 2 points3 points ago

I read it as, "get monkey fuck bitches," and I thought those bears were monkeys.

[–]dreamingtree 0 points1 point ago

I love that! You are so right, the frame makes all the difference :-)

[–]TheGoomba 5 points6 points ago

I would purchase the top two. That's good shit

[–]dreamingtree 3 points4 points ago

Thanks man! 1st and 3rd have already sold (both to local redditors!), 2nd one is available via facebook.com/notyournanna :-)

[–]skylerdray 2 points3 points ago

How much would you charge for the third one, but with a pinker, more pie oriented pony?

[–]dreamingtree 1 point2 points ago

Pie oriented? Not sure I get what you mean, sorry. And I would be able to do it for $70 AUD + shipping... contact info is on facebook.com/notyournanna :-)

[–]shibblywibbly 4 points5 points ago

Pinkie Pie.

Pinker, more pie-oriented. See? Cuz it has the two things.

[–]dreamingtree 1 point2 points ago

Ahhhhh - I get it now! The ponycorn was a custom request, I don't totally understand the MLP references yet ;-)

[–]MundaneHymn 1 point2 points ago

Non-Brony, doesn't mock bronies or refuse to do pony-based commissions. I like you.

[–]leophir 1 point2 points ago

You will create all the birthday gifts for all the people around me until the end of time. If you don't mind.

[–]Jewelz526 -1 points0 points ago

Why do you charge so much?

[–]saladtossing 2 points3 points ago

I imagine it takes a decent amount of time to make these

[–]Jewelz526 1 point2 points ago

I cross stitch some awesome shit so I understand how time consuming it can be. However, this stuff is not hard to make and surely not worth what she’s charging on FB.

[–]dreamingtree 0 points1 point ago

As saladtossing said, they take time to make, and I'm in Australia - shit costs more here (materials etc). I've actually underpriced most of my work for the Australian market... the big ones have taken me 20-25hrs to make!

Guys, please don't downvote jewelz526, it's a legitimate question!

[–]Jewelz526 1 point2 points ago

Well, that makes more sense. Your work is cute, btw. :)

[–]Winston_Vodkatooth 3 points4 points ago

[–]dreamingtree 0 points1 point ago

Thanks mate! The pelicans were an absolute BITCH to do, glad you dig it :-)

[–]scartol 2 points3 points ago

Freaking impressive! I want the Wu-Tang one so bad but Currency Really Earnestly Avoids Me.

[–]I_make_things 2 points3 points ago

I love these!

[–]spacedoodoopistols[S] 2 points3 points ago

Those are really awesome! I wish I could take credit for this one but I am not the artist. Sure makes me want to learn, though!

[–]saladtossing 1 point2 points ago

1 is awesome, 2/3 are great, #4 is good but bugs me (hizzy/shizzle?? - should be hizzy/shizzy or hizzle/shizzle.... maybe i'm just a sucker for rhyme).

Excellent work though!

[–]1N54N3M0D3 0 points1 point ago

Brony thug? I think I'm in love.

[–]Hoogyme 0 points1 point ago

I congratulate you on your fine work and the suttle pony you threw in without getting hated on.

[–]dreamingtree 0 points1 point ago

Hehe - thanks! The pony was a custom order for another redditor, I'm glad I didn't cop any flak!

[–]Sacoo 0 points1 point ago

Post a gallery in /funny! I'd be sure to up vote it.

[–]funnyshorts 0 points1 point ago

I've done this exact same one!

http://i.imgur.com/q1TkH.jpg

except, you know, I never finished.

[–]dreamingtree 0 points1 point ago

Dude! Finish it! It will be so worth it :-)

[–]peacenerd 0 points1 point ago

No attribution to the Pattern designers? Looks like you're using Julie Jackson, Steotch, Bombastitch, others...?

[–]dreamingtree 0 points1 point ago

You got it in one - designers have all given their permission to me to sell these :-) If you check the ones I have previously submitted as links on /r/craftit or /r/Stitchy, I've given credit for the patterns - and unless I'm stitching custom orders, I never sell my works as 'original designs'... I also work with Bombastitch to create custom patterns!

[–]Seven_Sins_Lust 7 points8 points ago

Like a rapping grannie.

[–]Breathing_Balls 10 points11 points ago

I am glad your spelling was correct today.

[–]Ludwig_Jenkins -3 points-2 points ago

Read your post; Immediately thought of this guy! http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110331214260/theregularshow/images/c/cd/Pops2.png

Edit: Fixed the link for mobile users; sorry.

[–]comicsansibar 12 points13 points ago

Why?! Why do people post links only using a letter or a punctuation mark?! For the love of god, give this touch screen user a break!

[–]Rapier_and_Pwnard 1 point2 points ago

If you're on alienblue the entire comment is touchable if there's a link somewhere in the comment, or if there are multiple links it lists them all as separate big buttons. It's really quite a good interface.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[–]theenchanter 1 point2 points ago

of the ABYSS!!

[–]islandvanillawebring 57 points58 points ago

I always used to think that the lyric was "pumpkinhead, pumpkinhead..." but then I died.

[–]optipessfan 39 points40 points ago

RIP islandvanillawebring

[–]BALTIM0R0N 2 points3 points ago

wat

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

serious. it sounds NOTHING like pumpkin head. here I'm gonna listen to it now and see if i can hear it...

ok, i take it back, i hear it! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! omg, i highly suggest you listen to it and imagine pumpkin head lyrics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjVeazhEug0

WHOLE new level!

[–]Harold_Grundelson 5 points6 points ago

First of all, you ain't threaded long enough to be crotchetin' with me and you, you ain't sewn enough...

[–]GarMc 0 points1 point ago

I turned the song on when I saw the OP.

right as I read your line, that part of the song played. It was perfect.

[–]DirtyKlam22 39 points40 points ago

I bet everyone recited " y'all gonna make me act a fool up in here, up in here" and so on and so forth.

[–]DemonicGoblin 24 points25 points ago

They would be wrong if they did. They forgot a line.

[–]DirtyKlam22 4 points5 points ago

go all out... whatever u got the point

[–]DrVonD 2 points3 points ago

He was technically correct though. The best kind of correct.

[–]DirtyKlam22 0 points1 point ago

agreed

[–]tommykay 4 points5 points ago

After that, Grandma proceeded to rap the entirety of the song.

[–]nikitak1453 0 points1 point ago

"yal gonna make me lose my cool up in heah, up in heah."

[–]panicjames 6 points7 points ago

A few more here. Particularly enjoying the Dre.

[–]owlesque5 2 points3 points ago

Fantastic--and not just the hilarity; it looks like really good needlework! I've been meaning to learn to do that. I'm inexperienced enough to not be a good judge of what makes good needlework, but it looks damn great to me, so fuck the haters.

I mean, I don't think there really have been any haters. It just seemed an appropriately aggressive tone, considering.

[–]dreamingtree 4 points5 points ago

It's not hard to learn! Buy some books, check out a local stitch and bitch night and get into it - best hobby ever.

[–]zenith2nadir 2 points3 points ago

Stitch and Bitch night?! That's...gotta be one of the best names for a club meeting ever!

[–]spacedoodoopistols[S] 0 points1 point ago

I wish I could say I made this, but it's not my work. I sure would like to learn needlepoint and embroidery, though!

[–]urbanfervor 3 points4 points ago

I found this lovely piece at a local craft show a month or two ago. Too bad it cost 100 bucks, I was sorely tempted.

[–]dreamingtree 1 point2 points ago

That is crazy expensive - I've got that pattern, and it's definitely not that hard to stitch...

[–]ndl002 8 points9 points ago

I want to buy that.

[–]Lives_in_Springfield 13 points14 points ago

Homer: I was in a record store, and they were playing all these bands I'd never heard of. It was like the store had gone crazy.

Marge: Record stores have always seemed crazy to me. Music is none of my business.

Homer: That's all well and good for you, but I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day... now I'm lucky to find half an hour a week in which to get funky. I've got to get out of this rut and back into the groove.

[–]mr-peabody 9 points10 points ago

[–]FuckingDIY 5 points6 points ago

Stop spying on your neighbors. It's fucking weird.

[–]t1s 4 points5 points ago

seriously, can i buy this?

[–]bw1870 2 points3 points ago

Seriously, you can make it if you wanted to badly enough.

[–]Kiacha 10 points11 points ago

[–]potodds 10 points11 points ago

I tried to sew a button on once... We had to take the dog to the vet.

[–]littlechicken920 4 points5 points ago

Nice satin stitch!

[–]CrysDawn 3 points4 points ago

Aren't the lyrics, "Y'all gon' make me lose my mind?"

Very cool embroidery. For Christmas, my best friend made one that said "Best Fucking Friends Forever." It's awesome. :)

[–]mafiastasher 5 points6 points ago

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004

[–]worgul 1 point2 points ago

ahh... student days, passing controllers and spliffs around all night, trying to work out while in midair how to make the ball do some ludicrous backspin straight into the hole. smoking just the right amount of weed helped spatial awareness I found

[–]stirfried 17 points18 points ago

I love 50 Cent

[–]HIFW_GIFs_React_ 45 points46 points ago

“Only God can judge me.” ~ Biggie Smalls

[picture of DMX]

[–]ItsAPokemonBattle 39 points40 points ago

[–]HIFW_GIFs_React_ 7 points8 points ago

Perfect

[–]BusinessCasualty 4 points5 points ago

A+ font choice

[–]captain_toenail 4 points5 points ago

Very Nice! My sister made a similar lovely purple floral needlepoint for her friends birthday, the Quote "Colt-45 and two Zig Zags baby that's all we need" just wonderful stuff

[–]serioush 5 points6 points ago

Grandma went slowly mad when the nursing home failed to remove the DMX mixtape on repeat.

[–]Mutany 2 points3 points ago

Those are some fantastic flowers!

[–]pbjellyfish 2 points3 points ago

My lyrically-challenged mother did not know what The One and Only DMX was saying in this song. We were once in the car while listening to this song when finally my mom actually pulled over and asked, "who the hell is Yago?"

12 years later and we still call her Yago.

[–]sofkuri 0 points1 point ago

My mother, in response to the same song, thought he was saying 'humpin here'. Oh, moms

[–]pbjellyfish 0 points1 point ago

Haha, moms... Just moms.

[–]Delicous_Mix 4 points5 points ago

A DMX POST? On Reddit!? That was unexpected.

[–]brimstn 5 points6 points ago

My friend has this one in his living room...

[–]homeboy5925 4 points5 points ago

that.is.glorious.

its the nigga you love to hate!

[–]brimstn 2 points3 points ago

Fuck you Ice Cube!

[–]homeboy5925 1 point2 points ago

thats what the people say

[–]SVH 1 point2 points ago

Can she mass-produce?

[–]Breathing_Balls 16 points17 points ago

Well, she has already had children but she may be too old for that kind of stuff now.

[–]WONT_CAPITALIZE_i 1 point2 points ago

wow that font/handwriting is captivating i want to write like that.

[–]impactplayer 1 point2 points ago

Grandma, you think it's a game? You think it's a fuckin' gaaaaaaaaaaaame!?

[–]Richie311 1 point2 points ago

Honestly if you could prolly sell shit like this on Etsy pretty easily. Needle work with Rap lyrics would make a pretty good item.

[–]dreamingtree 2 points3 points ago

It's been called Thugbroidery, and it's a pretty fucking rad niche market - I just started selling mine recently!

[–]CowboyLaw 1 point2 points ago

I hate to be a literalist.....but the needlework on the lyrics would not make grandma proud. It's horrible. The needlework on the flowers, on the other hand, is very well done.

That is all.

[–]yhoundeh 1 point2 points ago

[–]HoneyBear55 1 point2 points ago

Upvote because OP might have listened to more Dr Octagon than me.

[–]Aparty 0 points1 point ago

I've done this type of needlepoint and that quote is exactly how I felt every second I was doing it. Turned out great (it was a table runner for my grandmother, and she loved it) but I will never do needlepoint again.

[–]LowPEZ 0 points1 point ago

Y'all gonna make me act a fool

Up in here, up in here

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Is this for sale? I want that.

[–]Cobra800089 0 points1 point ago

Ya'll gonna make me go all out!

[–]roger_podakter 0 points1 point ago

Those drawings are very 'Guild Wars'-like

welldone

[–]asonjones 0 points1 point ago

These niggas remind me of a strip club...

[–]ironshackle 0 points1 point ago

Is there a place where you could buy something like that?

[–]dreamingtree 0 points1 point ago

Etsy has heaps of artists doing similar stuff :-)

[–]pdaddio2239 0 points1 point ago

Please tell me she doesn't have dementia

[–]tnyalc 0 points1 point ago

where can you buy shit like this? i need one, and i don't want to take the time to make it.

[–]peacenerd 0 points1 point ago

[–]benton907 0 points1 point ago

Please sir dont act a fool.

[–]ncapone 0 points1 point ago

I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers.

[–]wewd 0 points1 point ago

I can't abide the use of sans serif fonts in needlework. This clearly calls for the use of Gothic blackletter.

[–]Deathalicious 0 points1 point ago

I have to say, I really wonder about the font choice.

Yes, that is the first thing I thought looking at this. Why?

[–]ickybomb 0 points1 point ago

that's what my grandma always told her grandkids too!

[–]Jackmangold 0 points1 point ago

Like Mike.

[–]Rasser58 0 points1 point ago

Saw the title and was expecting a game of thrones reference, but, this was better.

[–]BHSPitMonkey 0 points1 point ago

GRAN GON' GIVE IT TO YA

FUCK WAITIN' FOR YOU TO GET IT ON YOUR OWN

GRAN GON' DELIVER IT TO YA

[–]johnmilkesbooth 0 points1 point ago

Grandma wishin' your soul's at rest, but it's hard to digest with the size of the hole in your chest

[–]eezfeedz 0 points1 point ago

Did you start sewing it when that song was still hot?

[–]knowledge117x 0 points1 point ago

I laughed more than I probably should have at this. lmfao

[–]MSweeny81 0 points1 point ago

Friend of mine does some nice cross stitch... http://folksy.com/shops/CrassStitchCrafts (Possibly NSFW)

[–]jarkush 0 points1 point ago

Did op make this?

[–]bmoreoriginal 0 points1 point ago

Plus 1 for the DMX reference

[–]GorjohnzolaSauce 0 points1 point ago

where can i buy these?!

[–]probablynotyou -2 points-1 points ago

this seems appropriate!

[–]xNocturnalGinger -4 points-3 points ago

You sir. Just made me lose it.