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top 200 commentsshow all 473

[–]Seven_sins_Greed 527 points528 points ago

This is why you should point the screwgate down.

Screw down so you don't screw up!

[–]Pockycrunch 268 points269 points ago

Remember, the enemy's gate is down.

[–]LeGiTAnonymity 67 points68 points ago

I'm reading that book again right now and fuck is it good.

[–]whomad1215 93 points94 points ago

“Ender Wiggin isn't a killer. He just wins--thoroughly.”

[–]Ishkatar 1 point2 points ago

WHEN THE FUCK DOES THIS MOVIE HAPPEN! C'mon Christopher Nolan...We need you....Ender needs you

[–]my_name_isnt_clever 1 point2 points ago

Remember Air Bender? I don't want a movie.

[–]Dofleini 19 points20 points ago

Yeah, it is a decent book. It's just too bad Orson Scott Card is such an incorrigible butthole.

[–]0xdeadc0d3 0 points1 point ago

It is for this reason that I plan to pirate any future books of his that I read. I just don't want that man to have my money.

[–]sargent610 14 points15 points ago

reading speaker for the dead right now on vacation ;)

[–]Mylon 1 point2 points ago

I thought speaker for the dead was amazing. Maybe I missed some of the finer details of Ender's Game because I read it as a kid, but Speaker for the Dead regularly gripped me emotionally and had me really feeling for all of the characters.

[–]IHateOpinionatedPpl 1 point2 points ago

You may then proceed immediately to Ender's Shadow

[–]slickwilly6 5 points6 points ago

I've been there. You are living the life my friend

[–]gregorykicks 23 points24 points ago

Upvote for Ender

[–]noizes 14 points15 points ago

This phrase has been stuck in my head since the last time I saw this post. Never been rock climbing, never plan to go rock climbing. Yet I will always have this stupid little mnemonic stuck in my head.

[–]havestronaut 14 points15 points ago

I feel like I'd remember it like this: "Something, something, something... screw up. Ok. Screw up!"

And then, dead.

[–]noizes 1 point2 points ago

Well... I guess that'd mean you screwed up huh? I have the problem with the snake one:

Red to black venom lack, kill a jack

red to yellow, kill a fellow, friendly fellow

So I just avoid snakes of that type unless I'm around someone that knows.

[–]Roboterlein 9 points10 points ago

Think of it like a stoplight. If you see red and yellow together: STOP!

[–]whenthecatmeows 4 points5 points ago

This is better than any little rhyme I've heard.

[–]havestronaut 5 points6 points ago

I learned it as: red on yellow, kill a fellow. Red on black, friend of Jack. But still, I ran from all red, yellow and black snakes.

[–]GeneralWarts 45 points46 points ago

I'll shoot the first man to mention a certain continent.

[–]bdog2g2 97 points98 points ago

Do they have guns in Austria?

[–]your_penis 142 points143 points ago

lol spelt australia wrong

[–]vednar 49 points50 points ago

Wow, because all these references are still on the first page, I was able to get all of them! This is how it should always be!

[–]Craigellachie 10 points11 points ago

Locked, down and opposite if you use two like a smart person. I work on challenge courses and this makes me incredibly angry.

[–]Gavrochen 7 points8 points ago

No, that is why you use 2 carabiners pointed opposite and opposed.

[–]virusporn 1 point2 points ago

Not in that setup, it's a paraglider.

[–]Tommer_man 2 points3 points ago

I don't do any sort of climbing but by god I will remember what you have just said, just in case

[–]adharma 2 points3 points ago

I keep seeing you today...

The new T_i_R?

[–]hedgeslammer 3 points4 points ago

Why not use a triple action carabiner, like a ball lock? I'm not a rock climber, but a tree climber, and this just seems like common sense to me. Also in my profession, it's the law. Anything I hang my life on is rated at 23+ kN.

[–]makazaru 2 points3 points ago

FWIW - Please dont trust Ball Locks, use a reliable screw gate, or tri-action instead. I've broken a brand new Petzl William Ball-locking Pear by hand, without much effort at all. Once broken, the weight of a semi-loaded rope, like you might encounter tree climbing, was easily enough to open the gate without directly contacting the 'ball'.

I feel that the plastic ball mechanism isnt durable enough, and with only moderate levels of normal wear and tear, IMHO, could fail easily. If you insist on using a sprung gate closure, go for a Tri-Action like the Kong Tri-Lock series.

You could also experiment with using a small section of electrical tape, wrapped around the gate end (not the hinge end) of the screw collar, to reduce the chance of the collar unscrewing in high vibration environments, such as this photo.

[–]nihilana 1 point2 points ago

Every one of my trainers when I was learning to climb taught me this, doing this the other way like in the picture is just so wrong.

[–]virusporn 1 point2 points ago

It's a paraglider setup. It doesn't actually go the other direction.

[–]parkercx12 150 points151 points ago

how is this funny?

[–]peifferu 134 points135 points ago

I think OP thought his title was funny. When this picture was originally posted it was properly placed in r/pics.

[–]GeneralWarts 43 points44 points ago

OP is such a clever guy!

[–]AlRubyx 1 point2 points ago

[–]imasunbear 9 points10 points ago

/r/funny is essentially the general subreddit these days. Happened ever since they closed down /r/reddit.com

[–]sangjmoon 3 points4 points ago

Because it reminds me of the beginning scene of Ace Ventura 2

[–]Colchestrian 1 point2 points ago

i thought the same

[–]CrankedCat 1 point2 points ago

I almost teared up at that part with the raccoon as a kid.

[–]2k2f4i 65 points66 points ago

I don't think this is from a rock climber. Is this from a paragliding setup? http://www.oocities.org/fitzgr/para/safety1.html

[–]burkey0307 11 points12 points ago

Yep, had to scroll down this far to see this posted. Feels like the more something gets reposted the shittier the comments become.

[–]ItscalledCannabis 1 point2 points ago

When this picture was originally posted the first comment pointed this out.

[–]DoctorRobert420 2 points3 points ago

yeah, and it's staged.

[–]egyptsFINEST8 81 points82 points ago

Repost:

title comnts points age /r/
Holy Cow 1056coms 1358pts 3mos pics
Shit... 928coms 1315pts 1year pics

[–]Yamil01 1 point2 points ago

OP seriously waited 3 months to report, good for him.

[–]HorizantalHamSlam 485 points486 points ago

Seconds from death, "hold on, the internet has to see this."

[–]SuicideKoS 74 points75 points ago

This is the same top comment as the one on the post that this is a repost of O.O

[–]jammym 83 points84 points ago

Commonly known as Trapped_In_Reddit syndrome.

[–]Zosoer 226 points227 points ago

I got chills just looking at this picture.

[–]Seven_Sins_Lust 150 points151 points ago

They're multiplying.

[–]KingPillow 93 points94 points ago

Im losing control.

[–]GeneralWarts 72 points73 points ago

Cause the power you're supplying

[–]A_real_reactionary 68 points69 points ago

It's electrifyin'

[–]C_K_B 52 points53 points ago

You Better Shape up!

[–]LessLikeYou 52 points53 points ago

'cause I need a man

[–]jesusland111 34 points35 points ago

... and my heart is set on you

[–]Gortos 14 points15 points ago

To my heart I must be true

[–]ihatephilosophy 14 points15 points ago

Every time one of these gets posted someone points out that some climbers are trained to do this for some reason.

[–]ImAFuckingMeteor 77 points78 points ago

This is true, climbers are trained to take pictures right before they die from fatal mistakes in order to better train future climbers not to make those same mistakes. source: I'm a picture

[–]Sinister0 49 points50 points ago

No, you're not a picture. You're a fucking meteor.

[–]ZarZad 8 points9 points ago

Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

[–]skinnymode 1 point2 points ago

Smoke you!

[–]Cieper 28 points29 points ago

No you're not, you're a Fucking Meteor!

[–]Scrubtanic 12 points13 points ago

Oohh. Sinister0 had you by a mere 14 seconds. "A" for effort, though

[–]Malicious78 5 points6 points ago

I'll upvote this guy instead. I don't follow the rules!

[–]nakens07 3 points4 points ago

[–]JrMaynard 1 point2 points ago

Take THAT society!

[–]lcfiddlechica 8 points9 points ago

I learned always clip down so you don't fuck up!

[–]Vulpeslupes 5 points6 points ago

Not necessarily second from death, there's no context in this photo. Is that a critical link? What's the carabiner around? Hopefully not a harness.

[–]anothercopy 3 points4 points ago

looks like its the link between a harness and a glider, although I could be mistaken. If this really is a paraglider then its a tough choice - use backup or fly steady and try to find a landing spot. No idea what I'd do though =) probably depends on the wind

[–]JonnyBadass 11 points12 points ago

Which is why it's obvious that these things are always staged.

[–]DieAnderTier 2 points3 points ago

Not necessarily, he could have a video camera mounted on his helmet.

[–]Seven_sins_Greed 14 points15 points ago

A true redditor.

[–]lilalevine 4 points5 points ago

Unlike the other 2, you didn't capitalize "sins".

[–]cyberslick188 2 points3 points ago

Every single time this is reposted this is the exact top comment, verbatim.

[–]Dabuscus214 1 point2 points ago

Trapped_in_reddit syndrome

[–]Seven_Sins_Pride 6 points7 points ago

Who will have the first death due to facebook?

[–]Seven_Sins_Lust 19 points20 points ago

South Korea

[–]theartemisfowl 8 points9 points ago

you guys brothers or the same guy?

[–]Dabuscus214 10 points11 points ago

There are five others, so probably the same guy

[–]jakeyjake247 3 points4 points ago

Do you guys (and I can only assume the rest of the sin brothers) upvote each others posts and comments to off set the reddit algorithm and stuff?

[–]ecmmyers 4 points5 points ago

OK, what's the deal with the Seven_Sins_X?

[–]scribitur 109 points110 points ago

As a climber, this picture makes me twitch. lock your 'biners

[–]SickSalamander 21 points22 points ago

FYI - the picture is of a paraglider.

[–]holyerthanthou 6 points7 points ago

Over the point of the mountain in Utah.

I know an slc inversion when I see it.

[–]notanaardvark 1 point2 points ago

Yes, but pictures of unlocked biners make climbers twitch, regardless of what sport or activity it's being used for. Hits close to home.

[–]godofallcows 4 points5 points ago

I try to tuck my biner in, personally.

[–]knobbysideup 2 points3 points ago

Whitewater kayaker here. We us locking 'biners too. Catching one on something while upside down would tend to ruin your day.

[–]OverKillv7 2 points3 points ago

Out of curiosity wouldn't the pressure due to your weight keep it pretty secure anyways? It doesn't look like it'll come off easily even in that state in the picture.

[–]scribitur 10 points11 points ago

No. Not only do carabiners have ~half their safe working load while unlocked, you will also be moving/shifting your weight, or might be knocking against the rock face, and it can cause the gate to open, which means your rope can slip out.

[–]OverKillv7 3 points4 points ago

Cool, thanks for the informative and quick reply!

[–]Willssss 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for a fellow climber.

[–]capt_0bvious 9 points10 points ago

walker here.. checking in.

[–]SleepyAstronaut 26 points27 points ago

Whoa, I thought I was in /r/climbing already. I was like "...we are all climbers, who cares?"

[–]alejo699 8 points9 points ago

Ok, rock climbers, help me understand ... the upper strap looks about an inch wide at most and is just stitched nylon. Is this really supporting a human being's weight?

[–]bistromat 22 points23 points ago

Sure. 1" nylon webbing will hold 18kN, or just over two tons. Plenty strong, especially for a static load.

[–]spooc 2 points3 points ago

[–]hungryforfire 4 points5 points ago

under two metric tons. Over two short tons. In the US, we just call short tons "tons"

[–]spooc 1 point2 points ago

Ah, I'm just assuming that he is speaking metric since kN is a SI unit. I also didn't know ton and tonnes was different. It's especially confusing since a ton in Swedish is a "tonne" (1000 kg).

[–]hungryforfire 1 point2 points ago

no worries. Reddit is international so there's all kinds of give and take. FWIW, assuming metric ton (as you did) is just proper science given that an SI unit had already been given. Sadly, as a non-scientist American, I automatically assumed short ton.

[–]ColeScheffler 1 point2 points ago

Under two metric tons. It's over two short (imperial) tons.

[–]alejo699 1 point2 points ago

Thanks! Knowledge is power!

[–]jelloburn 8 points9 points ago

Oh, look...this picture again.

[–]Saarrex 4 points5 points ago

Wasn't this posted by the actual climber a few months ago?

[–]anexanhume 47 points48 points ago

[–]anexanhume 17 points18 points ago

[–]djsmith1313 2 points3 points ago

Touché

[–]Seven_Sins_Lust 3 points4 points ago

This scene still gets me all choked up.

[–]phoenixcolt 14 points15 points ago

a little blood just rushed into my penis

[–]werferofflammen 1 point2 points ago

So you have an erection?

[–]pilot119 9 points10 points ago

Repost

[–]Anticitizen-Zero 7 points8 points ago

I saw this a few months ago. Pretty sure OP was okay.

[–]paraprosDOPEan 2 points3 points ago

i'd shop bricks

[–]RandoGuy123 3 points4 points ago

This has been reposted...so many times...

[–]DubJ13 2 points3 points ago

Fuck it. The next one I left unlocked will save me.

[–]fsuk 2 points3 points ago

A friend of mine was instructing abseiling of an old viaduct (railway bridge) with kids and this one kid was really scared of going over the edge, so he climbs over the rail, leans right out holding on with one hand and says 'see it's perfectly safe.' just as he's about to let go he realises he's not clipped on. I've never seen anyone more so fast in my life, nor go so white.

[–]pugzlie18 3 points4 points ago

REPOST

[–]yesukai 2 points3 points ago

20kn? I thought the lowest allowed for climbing was 24kn?

[–]Mallen 7 points8 points ago

Its not like they have climbing police checking them :D

[–]SickSalamander 2 points3 points ago

Tons of them are 20kn. This one is 18kn. Generally anything rated over 10kn is considered safe for climbing.

[–]Dax420 1 point2 points ago

That's a paraglider. You can tell because he's above the mountain.

[–]wildhamsterman 3 points4 points ago

Repost guys

[–]Teahes 1 point2 points ago

"This would make a great picture."

[–]StewieBanana 1 point2 points ago

This definitely isn't funny. You should have posted this to r/sweatypalms.

[–]Capt_Ido_Nos 1 point2 points ago

As was pointed out a few months ago, this looks to be a paragliding incident a few years back.

[–]OnlyForBoredom 1 point2 points ago

Would've locked the carabiner that's the whole point of having a carabiner with a lock.

either idiot or staged for upvotes

[–]mystikarts 1 point2 points ago

bricks were shat

[–]ComoImports 1 point2 points ago

Took the time to take a picture?

[–]MathewMurdock 1 point2 points ago

That is not funny. How is that funny?

[–]ty556 1 point2 points ago

Screw down so you don't screw up.

[–]adanvdo 1 point2 points ago

Somebody back-clipped.

[–]spiral_of_agnew 1 point2 points ago

This kills the hipster.

[–]dbbelvo 1 point2 points ago

The only reasonable thing to do at that moment is to take a picture, obviously.

[–]Vandelay797 1 point2 points ago

How is this funny?

[–]D-Ack 1 point2 points ago

I keep looking...I still don't see the black guy

[–]sfkluk 1 point2 points ago

As a climber, this is probably as far away from funny as you can get. My palms sweat just looking at this.

[–]Ulysses_Goodfellow 1 point2 points ago

that picture makes me nauseous...

[–]DieAnderTier 1 point2 points ago

Seconds from death, turns head(and video camera mounted to head) to the right. "Oh fuck, I will later post this to the Internet."

[–]beyond_repair 1 point2 points ago

Think I shat a few pebbles just thinking about that situation.

[–]ChasingShad0ws 1 point2 points ago

We're in a life threatening situation.... better take a picture"

[–]tedstyle 1 point2 points ago

They took a picture of it. Mustn't have been that scary.

[–]rumpel4skinOU 1 point2 points ago

Is this from the raccoon scene in Ace Ventura 2?

[–]rockstar504 5 points6 points ago

Is this a repost, or does this happen pretty often to climbers? It's personally never happened to myself or anyone I know.

EDIT: Clearly a repost, until next time friends!

[–]Deagoog27 2 points3 points ago

Repost.

[–]tries_to_one-up_you 9 points10 points ago

This image brought back bad memories of the time I went skydiving for my bachelor party. I decided I wanted to do something adventurous and a bit dangerous since I envisioned married life as a mutual commitment between my wife and I and these things would be out of the question.

When we got to the plane our jumping instructors were already prepared to go and we were assured that all of the safety checks had been completed prior to our arrival. This didn't sit right with me as I had imagined we would be given a full briefing and rundown of how the jump would go and what to do in an emergency. The assured us that everything would be fine and we suited up and loaded onto the plane.

I went first being as it was for my special occasion and we jumped. My stomach shot to my throat and my hear was beating out of my chest as we fell back to earth. It felt like we were getting a bit close to the ground and still no parachute. I turned my head to see my best man, who had jumped right after us, just as his parachute deployed. I went into panic mode screaming for the instructor to no avail.

We were plummeting so fast and the detail of the ground was getting much more clear and I thought we were doomed so I just closed my eyes and watched as my life flashed before them. Suddenly I felt a huge tug on my back and my stomach dropped and I snapped back into reality as we slowly drifted down to the ground.

Afterwards we were informed that the main canopy failed to open upon decent and our automatic activation device opened the backup canopy and saved our lives. I shit bricks.

[–]Seven_Sins_Lust 39 points40 points ago

Not sure if real story or relevant username

[–]geomn13 9 points10 points ago

Thank you for pointing that out, would have missed it!

[–]pelican1 6 points7 points ago

Good detective work. You're spot on: http://www.reddit.com/user/tries_to_one-up_you

[–]moojj 2 points3 points ago

Awwww, I was really hoping to read a true story. It sounded legit.

[–]Leelluu 1 point2 points ago

I'd just stay on the ground where I don't require complicated safety equipment to prevent falling to my death.

[–]Joe__Dirt 0 points1 point ago

OMG that's HILARIOUS. (/r/funny)

[–]fictionalsleep 0 points1 point ago

This is such a repost that the link was already clicked in my browser. C'mon.

[–]FUCK_YOU_REPOSTER 1 point2 points ago

[–]The_Hammer_Q 0 points1 point ago

Nah you would be fine as long as there was tension on the strap if its holding, if it ever got slack though I might get a but worried.

[–]CallMeAnEngineer 0 points1 point ago

So I'm hanging by the edge of an open carabiner on the side of a rock face? Picture time!

[–]FredtheFailLord 0 points1 point ago

shrivel factor: 12000

[–]maroonlife 0 points1 point ago

"holy shit I'm about to fall to my death! lemme take a quick picture..."

[–]gsfgf 0 points1 point ago

Ain't that a marketing image from the carabiner manufacturer?

[–]fearedtoast 0 points1 point ago

I'd take a picture and post it on reddit. Then I'd start screaming.

[–]mythicpixie 0 points1 point ago

I had a mini-heart attack just looking at the picture.

[–]Ampatent 0 points1 point ago

That's why you always have a backup.

[–]zim5599 0 points1 point ago

My heart dropped just looking at this!

[–]PrincessOfSaturn 0 points1 point ago

At first, I didn't really understand what was going on. Putting a lanyard on a backpack or something? Then I saw the background. Oh.

[–]ivan-a-tena 0 points1 point ago

I didnt really understand this post. Then i looked at the backround and yelled "OH SHIT."

[–]everynameistakenfuck 0 points1 point ago

looks like a baby carabiner!

[–]twreck007 0 points1 point ago

WHAT IS FUNNY ABOUT THIS

[–]anon5505 0 points1 point ago

I have been there, my order of thought was, fix problem, crap my pants.

[–]jetphoria 0 points1 point ago

[–]Caesaris15 0 points1 point ago

I could build a house with all of the defecated masonry I'd produce...

[–]Satukoro 0 points1 point ago

I too have taken pictures of my carabiner in an unsafe position while standing at a high elevation.

[–]itsbecky 0 points1 point ago

only get one chance to double check. "screw down so you don't screw up"

[–]jhogan88 0 points1 point ago

Social networking is clearly more important to this NUB then surviving.

[–]therealdealbro 0 points1 point ago

If this is connecting a side of a parachute, shouldn't there be more than one for safety? I know nothing about skydiving or climbing, but redundancy?

[–]jakeyjake247 0 points1 point ago

My hands are sweating from this picture

[–]anothercopy 0 points1 point ago

Happened to my friend last year in France. She was lucky and she landed without the glider moving a bit. Hope whoever had this landed without a problem =) Last thing I would do is take pictures. I'd have my hand on backup for sure already. Always doublecheck your sh!t !

[–]troublesville 0 points1 point ago

I had something similar happen to me skydiving in Argentina. I noticed on the ground, though, so pants stayed clean.

[–]Mcelite 0 points1 point ago

That's not actually a bad idea. Lessen your weight to prevent additional stress.

[–]CajunTurkey 0 points1 point ago

Aren't there other ropes/cables/tethers besides that particular one?

[–]monsterman1 0 points1 point ago

Fuck that I'd shit brick houses!!!

[–]tom90 0 points1 point ago

And that my friends is why there is a lock on the carabina gate. Fucking use it.....

[–]meangrampa 0 points1 point ago

That's not a support line. They took the time to take a picture. If it was real they'd do something about it instead of taking a photo.

[–]fauxnom 0 points1 point ago

Screwgate down + redundant security = Brickless underwear

[–]massmurder_refrain 0 points1 point ago

I felt a turtle head poking out just looking at this picture.

[–]jack104 0 points1 point ago

That's why you check your gear before you go trying to get yourself in another Chase reward points commercial.

[–]LiquidPee 0 points1 point ago

Don't do that if it is that lose you don't want to add weight.

It's better to shit bricks later.

[–]ZM2N4AiP_A4 0 points1 point ago

This is the definition of something that isn't funny...

[–]readingRayenbeau 0 points1 point ago

Why is this in /r/funny???? What about /r/heartattack or /r/needsnewdrawers or /r/fuckingfuckfuckfuck?!

Edit Not sure any of those subs exist, too lazy to check.

[–]EMazing1987 0 points1 point ago

taking a picture would of course be my first reaction to noticing this...

[–]delofan 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who would be somewhat ok with this? If I could choose a way to die, thats how I want it to go.

[–]leophir 0 points1 point ago

Happened to me in high school I was only like 25 meters high, mini bricks shat.

[–]ford2city 0 points1 point ago

On ballet? Ballet is on. Ready to climb? Climb away.

Don't say the words if aren't prepared...

[–]ry3guy 0 points1 point ago

How the fuck is this funny, my heart beat rose ten just looking at this!

[–]letmetellyouhowitis 0 points1 point ago

what's with the mountaineering meme's out today

[–]THEhillsHAVEaids 0 points1 point ago

My heart was pumping just looking at this.

[–]MustngSS 0 points1 point ago

Yea it would suck if your Nalgene bottle came off your North Face backpack while you were busy fixing your Birkenstocks up on that bridge there...